So far the second date had gone well. Shikamaru had taken her to a nice restaurant again. They had strolled through the streets of Konoha afterward, eventually coming to a pastry shop about to close. Shikamaru had convinced the owner to sell them two small cakes for half price. He had then led her to a clearing in the training grounds, where they sat together, eating the sweets and talking easily. Eventually darkness came, and Sakura found herself caught up in the moment. Shikamaru was lying on the ground, hands behind his head, staring at the stars. His voice was lazily telling her about the constellations and how Konoha's history was written in the stars. While he was talking, she took the opportunity to look him over. He had put in a little more effort for their second date, but not much. His stubble had continued to grow, giving him a rough and masculine appearance. But his hair was brushed, making the back slightly less spiky, and his pants and shirt were clean. She could tell he was cute. Maybe not dreamy the way her Uchiha was, but cute none-the-less, with his own quirky charms. And Ino's words about him rang in Sakura's head, about what a good guy he was...and what a good kisser. The moment could be more perfect for a first kiss. The starlight made the shadows on the ground long and seductive, like sheets calling out for bodies to enfold. Shikamaru, with his lilting voice and adorable ignorance at the thoughts in her head... and the night had been fun. She wondered if she would still be able to taste his cake on his lips. She could just lean over, gaze into his eyes and silence him with a kiss. Just lean over... Sakura's heart beat faster. She tried to move, to commence leaning, yet she was stuck. Was this it? Was this what she really wanted? Shikamaru was everything a girl could want for a first kiss, right? Gentle, intelligent, cute and a great date. And, she couldn't forget, an experienced lover. But her first kiss...she had built it up for years, saving it for Sasuke, and if she leaned in now...if she kissed those lazy lips...she could never take it back. Somehow, she slowly began to move forward, inching her way toward him, trying to ignore the doubts growing in her heart. This is it...you can do it... She shifted her hips to be closer to him. If he noticed, he didn't show it. But as she began to lower her face, lowering herself into the moment...He's so experienced. Will he think I am dumb? Is this the wrong time? She felt herself pause, hovering near him, looking at him. His eyes were now closed as he relaxed, listening to the night. No, Sakura! This is perfect! While his eyes are closed! Surprise him with the kiss! Her inner Sakura was flailing, trying to beat motivation into her. She began her descent again, her eyelids fluttering in anticipation. What if I miss? What if I slobber? What if I am a bad kisser? What if he tells everyone! I'll never be kissed again! Ohmygodohmygodohmygodthisiswrong! I CAN'T! Her heart was going to explode. She yanked her head back, gasping. "Sakura? Uh...is something the matter?" Shikamaru's voice was filled with a little worry...and more than a hint of amusement. Uh-oh. He had caught her. He can't know what I was planning! Thinking fast, she stuttered out an excuse. "I...I had s-something in my eye, and I was going to ask you to...uh...look at it, but—"she giggled nervously, "—it went away. So...I don't need you to look at it. Th-thanks though... you know." Smirking, Shikamaru sat up, his face twisted in mock concern. "geez...you're welcome?" He smiled a little, his eyes full of mischief. "You know, it might still be there. Dirt in eyes can be troublesome. Maybe I should look at it...you know, just to be safe." Shifting to his knees, he loomed over her. His hand moved to her face, cupping her cheek, fingers brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just look up, into the light..." She looked up, her heart pounding, but it wasn't light she found, it was a pair of dark brown eyes gazing into hers. Shika's hand cupped her chin, tilting her head to him, bringing himself nearer, bringing them closer, their mouths almost touching... "No." Sakura turned away at the last moment, causing Shikamaru's lips to catch a mouthful of hair where they had expected a mouth. He pulled back and looked at her inquisitively. She blushed. "I mean, no thank you, I really think I got whatever was in my eye...out. I appreciate it, though." Sighing heavily, he plopped down, looking at her, this time with genuine concern. "Sakura, what's wrong?" "Nothing! Everything has been great. I mean, everything is great. Now. I just don't have anything in my eye anymore..." "I wasn't really going to look in your eye. I was going to kiss you." She looked away, she couldn't stand to look him in the eyes. "Oh?" She tried to sound genuinely surprised, but her tone rang with the lie. "I thought that was what you wanted. I thought you might just need...a little help. I don't understand, Sakura." The night was silent, the world had gone to sleep except for the two of them. Her clothing rustled as she moved to face him, drawing her knees into her chest. His eyes studied her every move, making her even more self-conscious. "Sakura...if I overstepped my bounds, I'm sorry. Geez...I just thought, from the signals you were giving, that I was doing what you wanted." "Shika, you didn't overstep any bounds. I...I don't know what I want. I thought I wanted you to kiss me, but then...I don't know! I don't know what I want, you shouldn't feel like you have to do anything. I'm sorry." He reached out a hand and stroked her knee affectionately. When she looked at him, he held her gaze, his eyes intense. It was strange for her to see Shikamaru with so much feeling in his eyes. "I wanted to do it, Sakura." With that, he tried to shift again, tried to move toward her, his eyes almost pleading, but she pulled back. When she did, he jerked his hand away, running it through his hair in frustration. "Shika, I—" "It's ok, Sakura. I get it." His voice was trying to be gentle, but there was a slight iciness to it that worried her. She realized she had seriously messed up. This was her opportunity, she knew it, and she was about to fuck it all up. He was there and he was ready, hell...he wanted to kiss her. He was a good guy, and cute and she should count herself lucky. Damn it, you scaredy-cat! Just kiss him already! If you get it over with, it will feel right! She tried to listen to that voice, steeling herself. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, puckered her lips. "Ok, Shika, I'm ready. Kiss me...please." She waited, her breath coming out in small, shaky wisps, her eyes closed. Any moment. Any moment, it would be there, his lips would be there, it would be great, she was sure of it. Any moment... "No, Sakura, I'm sorry...the moment is gone." Her eyelids jerked open to see Shikamaru standing a ways from her, his hands shoved into his pockets, his eyes vacantly searching the trees. Panic filled her. It wasn't too late! It couldn't be too late! "No, I'm sorry, I messed up! But I'm ready now, really! Let's do this, ok? I want to, I know it!" She stood up and rushed over to him, desperately grabbing his shirt and trying to pull him to her, but his hands firmly grasped her shoulders, keeping her away. His eyes, looked at her, filled with an ache she didn't fully understand. His voice was a little tight when he spoke, but he tried to joke. "Heh heh, this is so troublesome! What a night, huh? Who knew gazing at stars could be so....complicated. I know now to stick to clouds.—"His voice softened. "Let me take you home." His tone left no room for argument. Fighting back tears, Sakura let him guide her back to her apartment. - - - - - - Ino slapped her forehead, groaning. "Baaaakaaaaaaaaaa." Sakura was sitting on Ino's bed, red-faced with embarrassment as she recounted the previous night's events to her best friend. "Sakura, everything was perfect! You could not have had a more perfect moment! Girls would KILL to have a first kiss in a moment like that! What. The hell. HAPPENED?" Ino tried taking deep breaths, fighting the urge to beat a little common sense into her friend. "You don't understand, Ino! I know it was perfect! I know I should have gone for it, and I tried, but then I just froze! All these fears and doubts were in my head and I couldn't shut them off and you've been in my head! You know how I can be when I am fighting with myself!" Ino remembered the time she had jutsued herself into Sakura's mind during the chuunin exam. It had been a terrifying place, with a giant angry version of Sakura that no one should ever have to face. If Sakura's two inner voices had been fighting...well...who could kiss in a moment like that? Sighing heavily, Ino tried to release some of her frustration. She sympathized. "Geeeeeez, Sakura. If you have this much trouble getting a kiss, how are you ever going to get laid?" Ino hoped her exasperated joke would ease the tension, but her friend just started crying. "Sakura...please. What were you scared of?" Sniffling, the pink-haired girl pulled herself together. She tried to recollect what exactly she had been scared of, but all she could think about was how much she had screwed up the night. Then some fragments of her inner conversation came back. "I can't remember it all, but I remember being scared—don't laugh at me, ok? I remember being scared that I was going to be an awful kisser, and that Shikamaru was going to tell the entire village and I was never going to get kissed again and I was going to grow old and be single and angry all the time just like Tsunade and...waahhhhhhh!" Sakura broke down in tears, sobbing. Ino closed her eyes, breathed deeply and tried counting to ten to keep herself from exploding on her friend. When that didn't work she walked over to a wall and began to hit her head on it repeatedly until the pain cleared away a bit of her ire. When she ceased her banging and looked at her friend, she saw big green eyes peering at her in confusion. "uh...Ino? Are you ok?" Choosing her words very, very carefully, Ino tried again. "I would be better if you weren't such an idiot. NO! Do Not. Start. Crying. If you do, I swear I will kick you out." At this, Sakura bit her lip and blinked a lot, trying to fight back the wave of fresh tears attempting to burst through. Ino shook her head in irritation and kept speaking. "You have resigned yourself to sucking at kissing and a life of solitude before you even had a first kiss! I almost think you deserve it. But Sakura, how will you ever know if you don't kiss him?" Trying not to cry, Sakura whispered. "It is just so scary to kiss a boy that has had so much experience when I have none." Ino shrugged. "So practice first." Sakura's face went blank with confusion. "What do you mean, practice?" "Haven't you ever kissed your pillow when you were younger?" Sakura shook her head no. "What about you hand? No? A doorframe? Anything! No? Oh Sakura, you are hopeless!" Moving to the bed, Ino grabbed her pillow. She folded it lengthwise to make it firmer. Holding it tightly, she looked at Sakura. "See? Now watch." And with that, Ino kissed the pillow, long and slow. Her eyes were shut and Sakura could see Ino's lips moving in small ways, sliding. After a while, Ino finally broke the pillow kiss, the fabric wet from where her mouth had been. Sakura's green eyes were huge as she took in the scene she had just watched. "Now you try." She handed the pillow to Sakura, still folded. "Yeah, hold it like that. Now, picture someone—and by someone I mean anyone but that jerk Sasuke—and lean in and kiss it." "But your spit is on it." "So what? I don't have cooties. Do you want my help or not, wide forehead?" "I do, but...this is weird. Real weird. And I feel stupid. It is a pillow." Ino's blue eyes flared a bit, and Sakura knew she was entering dangerous territory. "Do you recall the day you were crying because everyone picked on you for your wide forehead?" Sakura nodded. "I told you to wear your hair back, and I gave you that red ribbon. You remember?" Again, Sakura nodded, looking slightly abashed. "After that, things got a little better. I guided you in the right direction because I was your friend and you trusted me. So here we are again. I am your friend. Do you trust me?" "...hai." "Then kiss the goddamned pillow." Sakura closed her eyes, trying to picture Shikamaru's face. Gripping the pillow tightly, she slowly pressed her lips against the fabric. The pressure felt odd, and the texture rubbed her lips and made them feel funny. Knowing Ino was watching, she tried moving her lips a little. The fabric was still wet with Ino's saliva. It felt strange. "Ok, good. Now, picture you are in Shikamaru's arms. He is kissing you. Open your mouth slightly and use your tongue a little." Sakura sank into the pillow a bit, trying to imagine strong arms holding her firmly. Her mouth pressed harder into the pillow. She could almost picture him, but then the skin grew paler...the mouth harder, angry, pushing against hers. The eyes...were black, deep and full of fury, full of passion. Sasuke. Sakura let herself go into the kiss, opening her mouth and darting her tongue out, only to taste...cotton? Sputtering, she threw down the pillow and tried to wipe the wisps of fabric and lint off her tongue while Ino's palm slapped her forehead, again and again. Sakura was worried Ino was going to give herself brain damage. "Bakaaaaaaa....." "I could try again!" Sakura moved to get the pillow. "No, no, no. I don't want your slobber all over it! Gross." Sakura slumped, defeated. Whining, she prepared herself for her hundredth round of crying that afternoon. "...I am a slobberer! I am an awful kisser! I am doooooooomed!" "No, you aren't. Granted, you are the most retarded beginner ever, but—" Ino sighed, shaking her head, "I think I can still help you. Maybe." "But how? I can't even kiss a pillow correctly!" "You just need something else to kiss. Honestly, Sakura, you get an ideal night for a kiss, a willing guy, and then a willing pillow, and yet you fuck all three up. Geez! Now let me think." The pink girl sat in earnest silence, waiting with big eyes for whatever Ino could come up with next. Ino looked around the room. Doorknob? Too unhygienic. Hand? Sakura would still get it wrong. What the girl needed was a live target, but the live targets intimidated the girl too much... And then the lightbulb went off in Ino's head. "Sakura, you better be grateful I am such a good friend, because you are going to owe me. Big time." "Why? What am I kissing?" "You are going to kiss me." - - - - - - - A/N: Typically, in real life, when a woman has sex, she requires a lot of foreplay, a lot of build up, in order to achieve orgasm. I personally find the parallels between building the climax in bed and in a story remarkably similar, ok? So I know you want pr0n, and you want it now, but seriously, calm yourselves. All in good time. /coldshower.
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