Italic – for thoughts.
Italic and underline – for Yaya’s written lines.
Bold – for shouting.
Underline – for Yaya’s mouthed lines.
----------
Yaya: Saying goodbye
I stare out in the wonderful ocean sunrise. This would be the second morning since I’ve strengthened my resolve to do what I have decided. It was a beautiful morning, I felt revitalized just watching the beautiful bright glow of the sea as the rays of sunlit bounces from them as if they were a million mirrors. The sea breeze felt nice and cool on my warm skin. The sound of the water’s waves and the call of the birds out here were very calming.
I’m sitting on the window sill of the master’s second floor quarters. It was a huge traditional Japanese room and decorated as such. This was in my very own personal beach villa. The very one that my father and mother had it built, furnished, and had paid to maintain all for me to play in since I was eight years old. I was fascinated with traditional Japanese setting back then you see. I used to love watching old samurai movies, I’ve been so obsessed with it that I have even learned basic kendo. I used to enjoy going to history museums pertaining the subject with my father. This was because before my father became the head of the family, the Nanto clan was a very traditional family. This caused me to have a traditional view and interests back in my early childhood. But when my father took his position as the family head many welcome changes came which gave a lot of my relatives and their families more freedom. This also allowed me to learn and like other things no matter how untraditional they were.
Now even though I’m not that… well… obsessed with the traditional anymore, this house always reminds me a lot of my fonder memories as child. Coming to this secluded villa, helps me calm down… reminding me I’m one of the lucky brats; to have a rich and almost noble Japanese family, to be given this much luxury and even to be given so much freedom in life. To be honest, had my Grandfather still been the head of the family… I would probably be miss primed and proper, all dressed up in beautiful white kimono visiting my future husband to be or maybe even married already. I guess I have to thank my father for breaking my engagement as soon as he ascended. Though I do feel like asking why he did… but I can at least guess that he didn’t want me to get married, he was always the over protective type and a ‘daughter’s man’ as I’d like to call him. I guess that’s one thing to do once I get my voice back.
Speaking of kimonos I’m in one now… well I guess the best term for it is barely in one. I do have it on, but I’m feeling quite warm here that I’ve kept it very loosely on. But no worries, it’s not like I’m naked underneath… I got my swimsuit on and there are only girls here for at least a mile or two. ‘Grandmother would probably faint if she saw me like this.’ I laughed at that thought.
I took a deep breath. It felt good to be out of school. Funny I never thought I’d say that, back when I told my father I wanted to enter st. Spica. He wanted me to enter an even more prestigious high school besides st. Spica. He was expecting a lot from me, and had already added my name among those who would probably take his place as head of the family. But I said that I really wanted to attend st. Spica and to my surprise he didn’t try to convince me otherwise… well not much.
A knock came from the door, which opened a few seconds after. The door revealed a young woman with shoulder length red hair and was dressed in a brown maid dress and apron. “Good Morning! Yaya-Ojou-sama.” she said. This seemingly strict and uptight girl is Hisui, she and her sister Kohaku used to play with me when we were children. I waved at her with a small bitter smile, she never did grant my request to stop calling me “Ojou-sama” and I don’t have the ability to nag her about it for now… but at least Kohaku isn’t as stubborn.
To be honest I see them like the big sisters I never had. Grandfather had taken them in from the orphanage and we’ve been together since. They were to be servants for my family, but when my father became the family head he had given the two their freedom and so instead of being servants my father hired them to be my maids, at least until they graduate or they choose to live on their own. Though I don’t see that coming, they say they’re pretty happy being my maids. After all… they live and care for my private villa, which is almost my very own house that I rarely get to use because I’m in a dorm school. But I call them once in a while to pick me up when I need some pampering and stress relief.
I mouthed a “good morning” to her then a “thank you” seeing a cup of tea on the tray in her hands. She places the tea down in front of me on the small two feet tall table near the bedroom window. And as if reading my mind before my hand could reach for my notebook she tells me; “Tsubomi-sama, is still in her room.” I retracted my hand nodded and looked out the window once again.
I sensed her bow and turn to leave, but before she exits I feel her sharply turning around. “Is there anything you’d like for breakfast today, Ojou-sama?” she asks. To which I shook my head in response. This mean I didn’t have anything special I’d want to eat, but don’t get me wrong. Kohaku’s cooking is quite excellent which usually comprise of dishes I never see in Astraea Hill and tends to be something I miss while I’m stuck in the dorms… so I guess that’s like saying eating her home cooked meals are special enough as it is. Which reminds me… I should take Tsubomi to town to shop for souvenirs to give everyone back in school to pay her back as thanks for what she’s done for me. Hisui probably bows and closes the door quietly as she’s always done.
My eyes fell on my hands especially left wrist which was freshly bandaged again last night, apparently not healing well even after a week. But it could be that I’m really just a slow healer. My hand was full of cuts and bruises. My legs had a few bruises on them too but that’s to be expected after kicking a few tables and chairs. I’m a little worried about the wrist though… small cuts of mine usually heal sooner or later, but I don’t get injured often and especially not this big, I think that I might have some sort of blood deficiency or something. I guess I’ll ask the nurse to make another appointment for me when Tsubomi and I get back from this weekend vacation.
I feel a little sorry for dragging Tsubomi out here. I usually come here on my own; I would call up Kohaku and ask her to fetch me from school. I’d sneak my way out of the school of course. Getting the require paperwork and authorization, as well as making a call to my parents would just take too much time… that by the time I’m allowed to go… I don’t feel like going anymore. I guess I’m just a very ‘on whim’ person in some or a lot of aspects. Anyway for obvious reasons I had to ask Tsubomi to call Kohaku for me, and somehow I couldn’t help but invite her along to be polite… I didn’t expect her to want come with at all. She can be such an uptight rule abiding pain in the butt… most of the time. But lately… I find that she’s pretty nice when she wants to be and can be really good company.
Speaking of Tsubomi… after Ootori had left me alone in the art room I had trashed up… I pretended to clean while she was leaving but after I was sure she was gone… I just felt tired. I walked up to a wall where not much of the now thrashed up furniture were, leaned on it and slowly dropped myself to the floor. I didn’t cry, not that I could anymore. I felt pathetic… I was miserable, tired, thirsty, hungry and bleeding. I looked at my hands, my right knuckles was bruised, full of cuts and even had small pieces of wood fragments, most likely from the blackboard, stuck in them.
I pretty much spaced out… my anger drained, my composure gone and my spirit broken. It seemed like an eternity since I’ve been happy. At that moment, I couldn’t even hate anyone… I just wanted to disappear. It was then that she came.
“Sempai?!” she called out to me. I didn’t respond and at that time, I barely even recognized her. She came closer towards me and inspected me, knelt and tried to somehow get my attention. I expected her to lecture me and tell to get a hold of myself… that I was her sempai and needed to show some strength and pride as one… but it didn’t come. Instead she told me stand. I did, with a lot of help from her. It was then that I felt just how tired and in pain I was. All the kicking I’ve done had bruised my legs, which felt very painful to stand on and I had to lean on Tsubomi for a lot of support. She led me out of the room and dragged me somewhere without another word.
I was surprised that she had brought me to the infirmary. She placed me down onto a bed and looked for the nurse or a first aid kit. She returned after a few moments with a white box that had a red cross on it. Pulling up a chair she sat down in front of me. She opens the box and prepares what she needs to take care of my wounds. She then takes my wounded hand, “This might sting a little sempai.” She warned to which I just nodded to in response.
The medicine did sting, I’m almost glad I’m currently mute I tend to dish out curses when I’m in pain. But after a while the numbing effect of the medicine was very much welcomed. She quietly cleans every wound and wraps them all with a fresh set of bandages. After that she rolls down my socks and inspects my bruised legs. She treats them with some pain reliving patches. Once she was done she rolls my socks back up and gives me a smile saying; “All done.” I looked at her and smile softly, but gratefully.
There was an odd silence in the room, I didn’t have my notebook with me right now I couldn’t really give her thanks or answer anything she’d like to know.
“Sempai…” she called my attention, I looked at her and I could tell that she wanted to ask something. Her expression not hiding her desire to ask and wonder how to ask her question, but she never did…
“Nevermind… You should get some rest sempai.” She told me looking all concerned. I wanted to tell her that I have a mess to clean up, but since I couldn’t do that I just tried to stand. When I did I felt a shocking pain shoot thru from my legs. I almost fell down and kissed the floor if Tsubomi hadn’t been able catch me. “I told you. You should get some rest, Sempai! Being hard headed about doing something in your condition is only going to bring you more injuries.” Those words stung a little, I always thought that being hard headed was one of my few good traits.
She shifted me onto her shouldered and carried most of my weight. “Let’s go I’ll take your to your room.” She told me, in a kind soothing voice that felt nice after what I’ve been thru. I nodded and began to walk with her.
Outside… we found ourselves the center of a lot of attention. A lot of girls that were on their way back saw me leaning onto Tsubomi. None of them bothered helping the girl, nor me, which was a good thing… I was beginning to like leaning on her like this. After a while she had managed to get me up to the room I shared with Hikari. We enter and she sets me down on to a chair and opens my dresser.
“You should at least get out of those dirty clothes” she said. At that moment I was beginning to think that Tsubomi was nicer than I’ve given her credit for. I watched her browse through my dresser looking for a suitable thing to wear. She took out the red silk one piece pajamas I rarely use, I tend to sleep in anything I can wear outside so long as it’s clean, pajamas rarely was my thing. But given that I wouldn’t want to wear anything tight at the moment, which was almost everything I owned, I think she’s made a good choice for me.
As she helps me out of my uniform and into my pajamas, I noticed faint blush on her face as she tried not to look at my half naked body too much. I’m almost sad that she asked me to not tease her anymore, not that I can tease her right then and there but the thought that I can, could and would, would have been gratifying enough.
After getting me in a fresh set of clothes she, gently sets me down onto my bed. It was then that I felt exactly how tired I’ve been. Two seconds on the bed and not yet covered with my blanket but I could already feel my eyes falling and daring to close. I gather what little strength I had left to wait for her to tuck me and so I could thank her at least… But that thought was the last thing I remember that day.
Moments later the door opened again and Hisui revealed herself outside the door. “Ojou-sama, Breakfast is ready. Tsubomi-sama is awake and is the dining room.” She informed me. I nodded before I stood from the window sill and closed it. I walked towards the door but only after I had picked up my notebook and the cup of tea, which I hadn’t had the chance to drink yet. She opens the door wider for me and closes it after I’ve exited.
We arrive in the dining room downstairs, where I was lucky enough to see Tsubomi yawn without covering her mouth. I cover my mouth to hide the big smile in my face. She still look very sleepy, and almost slouched on her chair. She notices Hisui and I come in.
“Good… morning… Sempai.” She said rather absently.
Something I just had to giggle to before I wrote something on my notebook and tapped it with my pencil, which per Hisui’s suggestion will mean me asking her to read it aloud for whoever it is talking to me. Hisui glances at the notebook and quickly scans it’s contents and verbalizes it for Tsubomi, who I bet it’s still to sleepy to read.
“Tsubomi-sama, Yaya-Ojou-sama would like to say that you should sleep some more if you wish… And that your yawning mouth is cute.” She read it in an almost dead manner, which was funny in a sarcastic sort of way. Tsubomi blushed and threw me an angry look while I hid my giggling smile behind my hands.
Kohaku who came in from the kitchen with the last dishes saved me from Tsubomi’s possibly short lived lecture of being rude. I took a look at all the dishes on the table and was amazed at how they all looked, not to mention smelled. I could feel that my stomach would growl any minute if I don’t give it something to digest soon. Placing my hands together, almost in a form of prayer and silently lipped “Itadakimasu.”, before digging into my freshly grilled fish, omelet, rice balls and miso soup. I didn’t ask Kohaku or Hisui to sit and dine with us, because I can’t for one and two they wouldn’t because I have a guest. I can still feel Tsubomi glare at me for having the smile on my face, which I decided to keep there for a while for the sake of annoying her.
After we had breakfast I was quite sure that my smile was still there, but I know it’s not for the same reason. I was really happy eating something different for a change. I love the school’s food but eating it everyday makes it less special. I’d probably say the same thing about eating Kohaku’s meals, except to my knowledge she is also quite familiar with Western cuisine as well. Making it less easier to say; “Let’s eat out tonight.”
“Sempai… I know it’s hard to get rid of a bad habit, but don’t you think that’s quite crossing it?” Tsubomi grumbled to me in a low angry tone. I stared at her for a second with a confused look. The reason for her annoyance escaped me for a moment and when I did remember the reason, I decided to drop the subject anyway.
I went back up to my room to get something easier to wear than a kimono. I took out a red jacket and denim shorts from my bag and wore them over my swimsuit as soon as I had disrobed the heavy white kimono. I grabbed an old red baseball cap from my closet, when I noticed a big red tool box at the bottom of the closet. I took it out and opened it, and then I realized that it was my angler tool kit. My father bought it for me when he first learned how to fish and wanted to show it off to me by teaching me.
A few memories of my father streamed in my mind; him teaching me how to cast a line, how to tie a knot, how to place live bait, how to properly reel in the fish, how to hold the fish, and what to do with it if I decide not to let it go. I smiled to myself and decided… I’m going finishing. I checked if the rod was still in good condition. As soon as I was satisfied with it I placed it back inside the tool kit and took it down with me.
“Ah Sempai! Going out?” Tsubomi asked when she notices me come back down.
I nodded and grabbed my notebook and wrote; “Yeah. I’m going fishing at my small pier.”
“Can I come?” she followed quickly.
I was about to give her a no… but when I saw the way she looked at me I just couldn’t. I gave her a nod and a smile.
“Yehey!!!” She exclaimed happily as she jumped up and down. ‘That was so unlike her.’ I thought, I’ve always seen Tsubomi differently, like an annoying homeroom teacher only younger… much younger… the last thing I’d thought I’d see her do is jump happily up and down. But something tells me that I’ll be learning a lot more about her sooner or later.
When she noticed I was watching her jump merrily up and down she stopped, blushed brightly and said; “I do not really wanting to go out with you! You know… It’s just that it would be boring to stay inside the house all day, alone. And I might as well enjoy the beach while I’m here. And besides isn’t it your duty as my host to entertain me during my stay in your home?”
‘Now that’s the Tsubomi I know…’ I thought as I dared not to crack a smile. Instead I just scratched my cheek and headed out the door.
After a few minutes of walking, we reached my private pier. Where a small wooden boat and a jet ski was waiting for us to use. I set myself and the tool box on the farthest point of the pier, where there might some fish hiding in the depths. As I was preparing to cast my first bait when I noticed that Tsubomi was eyeing the jet ski…
“The key is with Kohaku.” I wrote and showed her.
“I… uh…”
“Go ahead!” I added and showed her with a smile.
She gave it a little thought, and smiled. “Okay! I’ll be right back!” I nodded as she ran back to the house.
I cast out a heavy lure. I wasn’t really keen on catching anything in particular really. All I wanted to do was relax, watch the sea, listen to the rising waves, the passing birds, the occasional boat or ship and maybe think a little.
Last Thursday had got to be the worst day of my life. I was pretty much annoyed with the things that had been happening that day. I didn’t get much of a good sleep last night… Hikari seems to have been having her wet dreams lately and had been taking it out on me during her sleep. I recall having to wear some make up to cover the hickeys she’s been leaving on me during the night. I know it could be avoided by not letting her sleep with me, but I can’t just say no to that girl. Then there was her being so spaced out around me lately. Plus that stupid fan club that I have to learn to be careful of from now on… That means no more hair samples for Rin, I didn’t think she was serious about that fan girl tale… I thought she wanted to use my hair for some magic spell/tool or something. And of course… how can I forget, Amane’s Kiss… Hikari would cry and hate me if she learns about that. I’m so glad I don’t keep a diary…
I recall staring at my canvas… I couldn’t believe I was doing that to myself. I already know I like her so much… and that it won’t do any good… and that I’m only prolonging my suffering. ‘But why am I hanging on so much?’ ‘So what if I love her?’ ‘What’s love anyway?’ I knew all that…
And yet as I looked at the eyes of the angel in my painting, I thought; ‘Is it her smile? Is her eyes? Her voice? Something about her just kept me there for her; to protect her, accompany her, and keep her smiling, but she not a little girl that needs those from me anymore. Ootori is more than capable to protect her, staying by her side and made her smile brighter than I ever could.’
‘So why is my heart still here for her?’ I asked myself painfully and judgingly.
I placed my paint brush down and slumped back onto my chair, which made a few rusty creaks. I looked up at the ceiling. A hundred thoughts filled me… all deeply and painfully emotional.
‘I wished it would just stop beating…’
I recalled kicking the desk first, I didn’t matter which desk though. I kicked it… angrily. Deep inside, I hated myself… What good was blaming someone else for it? I know I have the right to say that I hated her. That I wished she wasn’t there. Or that she was dead… To be honest I thought about it at first.
But then… as my tears began to flow and my self rage grew beyond what I control… I kicked my easel and the painting of the angel, I thought;
‘…I wish I was dead.’
‘Someone just shoot me... please’
‘I HATE MYSELF!’
‘I don’t want to hurt anymore…’
‘I’m so sorry Hikari.’
‘…for everything.’
By the time I could regain my composure… I had trashed more or less half the art room. But I wasn’t worried about that at all… probably if the teacher noticed, they’ll call my parents or expel me or something. At that moment, getting expelled seem like a pretty welcome idea. I was on the floor, crying on the very trashed floor. When someone placed a hand on my shoulder and called my name.
“Nanto-san.” Her voice… was the last one I wanted to hear. She called out to me in a way that was supposed to comfort me… but that was the last thing that would happen. I turned and saw the worried face of Ootori Amane… the last face I wanted to see. I shot her a look that screamed; ‘I hate you.’ even though it’s not really her fault. But it gave me an odd sense of sadistic satisfaction when see her face twist up in fear.
I shrugged of her hand and tried to leave. But she grabs my hand and asks me to wait. I wasn’t ready when she suddenly pulled me towards her. She catches me and wraps her arms around, which I instinctively struggled to get free. I tried kicking her legs, elbowing her sides, wriggling my way out of her arms and even aiming for her face with the back of my head. But she kept held of me until I wore myself out, telling me over and over; “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
She turned me to face her and continued to hug me as I cried. The tears just would not stop. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions all mixing improperly inside me; Love, Hate, Anger, Loathing, Understanding, Sadness, Confusion, Forgiveness… and maybe even a little bit of Gratitude. The way she held me was comforting… I gave out and for once entrusted myself to someone. Not even my parents had the chance to hold me like this before, at least not since I learned how to run.
She apologized, said that she was sorry. She knew that I hated her… but not at first. She then said; “You love Hikari… don’t you?”
My thoughts to that was; ‘Was I that transparent?’ ‘Did Hikari know too?’ ‘I hate this!’ I curled up my hand to a fist and hit Ootori’s chest with it as my mind screamed… ‘Why!?’… ‘WHY?!’… ‘WHY!?!’…
She then said; “I’m very sorry… You were probably thinking; that if only I wasn’t here, you would have had a better shot at winning her affections.” She would never know how right she was and how guilty I felt hearing that.
“If it’s any consolation… I think you held yourself pretty well around Hikari, for you to have held in your love for her and your hate towards me for this long without her suspecting… It must have been painful to fall in love with someone who loves someone else.” I cried harder again… Here was the person I hated so much. Yet she was the one who understood me and came when I needed someone. I didn’t know which was worse… her taking Hikari or her comforting me. Either way… I definitely feel very pathetic.
At that moment… Honestly I thought… that if I never met Hikari, and Amane wasn’t so popular or that tall and had longer hair… I’d probably start liking her by now. And as I made those thoughts I never would have guess what she was going to do next… the soft, gentle and very comforting actions of hers. Wiping my tears, brushing my hair, gently caressing my cheek… ok actually had I been in the right state of mind, I probably would have seen it coming…
She then raised my head so that my face was directly in front hers, then she said; “I like you… forgive me…” and kissed me. I stiffened at first, shocked by what could have been her confession to me. But then my senses kicked it and I began struggling to get free from her. But I guess I was tired, my hands, my legs felt painful at this point… and her hold of me was very tight. I gave in… and allowed her to kiss me.
‘She likes me?’ I asked myself. That thought was soon followed by others that argued that subject in and out. But in the end… I could only respect this girl... no! I should say a she’s young woman. She was strong and mature enough to do something I couldn’t. And though she may be betraying Hikari at this moment… I couldn’t help but feel a little relieved, that I’m leaving Hikari to someone like her. ‘I guess what I’m saying is that… I can start accept loosing Hikari to her.’
I didn’t return her kiss… not that she wasn’t any good at it… I just didn’t want her to get the wrong idea. In fact I bit my lip to make sure I didn’t loose myself and kiss her back. But… at the very least I allowed her to for as long as she wanted, as my thanks for what she’s done for me.
She broke the kiss minutes later. I immediately turned away and bowed my head. It felt a little humiliating and guilty to be placed in such a position. I can now see why Hikari hated the kiss I forced on her so much. She gently eased us down to the floor. It was about time too… my legs were starting to feel a little numb.
I stayed quiet, not that I had any choice, but I certainly didn’t know how to react to what just happened. She then asked if that was my first kiss. I honestly shook my head almost immediately. “I see.” She said with a very disappointed tone. I turned my head a tiny bit and looked at her from the corner of my eye and noted that she did look disappointed… ‘Just… great… she gave me her first kiss… more to feel guilty about…’ I inwardly sighed and watched my blood drop down from my bleeding lip to the tears on the floor. ‘I suppose they can just share their second kiss or say they had an indirect first kiss thru me…’ I thought to myself as I tried to feel better about the situation.
I was happy to learn that she wasn’t going to break it off with Hikari. That she would honor my pain and do her best not to hurt Hikari. ‘What a weird girl…’ I remember writing something to her… Oh yes… I told her that I would kill her if she broke Hikari’s heart. I made her promise, never to hurt Hikari… I definitely felt better when she bit lip and did a “bloody pinky swear” with me. That tells me a lot about her.
‘Thank You… Amane…’ I said to the sky as I watched it reflect itself poorly on the rowdy ocean’s surface.
“SEEEEMPAAAAAAI!!!!” I heard a very familiar voice of someone I cannot possibly forget call to me. I looked up from the water and saw Tsubomi, in her white swimsuit riding the jet ski behind Kohaku, who was oddly still wearing an apron with her brown swimsuit, and waving at me.
I couldn’t help but smile and wave back at her. It was then that my line started tugging and pulling my rod from me. ‘I CAUGHT SOMETHING!’ I thought for a second before I could react. I quickly reeled in the fish, it almost good away too… I had this odd feeling that the line was about to snap. But in the end I was about to catch it and it was a nice big one… I have no idea what kind it was though. And I realized that had forgotten to get a big bucket of water to place it in. But just as I was about to let the fish go… I noticed that there was a water chest beside me, already full of water. ‘Must have been Kohaku or Tsubomi who placed it there before they went rode the jet ski.’
I placed the fish on the water chest, who splashed around a bit angry that it was placed in such a small place but soon calmed down when it realized it had no way of escaping especially when I closed the lid. I then cast my lure again in hopes for another.
I watched Tsubomi and Kohaku ride while I waited for the next fish to bite. It felt oddly nice and gratifying to see Tsubomi act her age, giggling and screaming like a young girl that she is while having fun. Was almost opposite of what I usually see her in as while at school and the dorms. She waves at me again when they passed close again and screamed out “ANY LUCK SEMPAI!?” so that I could hear her thru the noisy jet ski motor. I would have given her a thumbs up, but it seems that the girl was some sort of fish catching charm… another fish soon took my bait and was pulling my line.
Long story short… Tsubomi passing by in my jet ski with Kohaku, meant one more fish that took my bait. And since they passed by about seven more times, I ended my fishing with eight big fishes in my water chest. Hisui came to help me drag the thing full of water and fish half the way to the house. I could have done it myself… but I suppose that’s what they’re for.
When I returned to the pier, I saw Kohaku and Tsubomi bring the jet back to port. I motioned to Kohaku that I’d like to take it out. She immediately hands me the keys and I soon got on the thing. I then looked at Tsubomi who was watching me get on the floating motorcycle she was just riding. Giving her a smile, I move a little back wards and tapped the front seat.
“What is it sempai?” she asked with a slightly dumbfounded face.
I responded by tapping the seat again.
She blushed and asked; “Yo-You want me t-t-to ride with yo-yo-you?”
Nodding as I smiled at her caused her to blush some more. I liked it when she stuttered and blushed… I thought it was quite cute. She was quite cute. Not Hikari cute… but still cute is cute.
“Ok…” she answered with her head down, trying very hard not to look at me. She got on the seat in front of me. I quickly leaned on her as I grabbed the ski’s control handles and inserted the key in the ignition. She quickly tensed up when our bodies touched… I can translate that to a lot of different meanings, but I won’t for now.
I started the water vehicle and immediately headed out for sea. It felt nice, the salty breeze, the occasional splattering of cool ocean water and company… who I noticed was very quiet. And after a few minutes of riding without her reacting even a little bit like she did when she was riding with Kohaku… I decided do something and to stop in the middle of the water, which seems to have captured Tsubomi’s attention.
She turned to me and asked; “Sempai? Why did you stop?”
I answered the only way I could… by taking her hands from her lap and placing it on the jet ski’s controls before placing my arms around her waist. I wanted her to drive, actually it was the very reason I sat on the back seat… well that and I’d rather hug than be hugged, especially after… that.
“SEMPAI!?” She probably meant… ‘Are you sure?!’ or ‘Are you crazy?!’ but I didn’t mind. I wanted to enjoy her enjoying herself. So in response I turned the ignition key and showed her how to make the thing go faster.
“Okay…” she said, rather nervously. I felt her swallow hard before turning up the speed. But after a few minutes of driving she slowly regains her excitement and screams out happily. She slowly seems to forget her earlier apprehension and eased up to enjoy the ride.
We rode till the ski was almost out of fuel. It was probably a nearly noon, probably around eleven or something. We docked the ski back to port and got back on land. I noticed that Kohaku and Hisui were already in the middle of preparing a barbeque lunch for us. So my guess that it was almost noon was probably quite accurate. I took Tsubomi’s hand and urged her to run with me towards where an old wooden table, which didn’t look one bit traditional, beside where my two maids were preparing our lunch for us.
“Ah! Yaya-chan! Done playing? Did you work up an appetite?” Kohaku asked me happily, in her sisterly yet almost motherly way.
I nodded with a smile. Though if I had my voice I’d probably say; “Is it done yet?!” in an exited and almost impolite tone, that if my mother were present she would scold me for… I guess loosing my voice gave me manners in exchange, can’t say just yet if it’s worth it though.
She then told me that it’ll be done soon, that me and Tsubomi could sit down for a bit or grab something to drink from the ice box. Again I nodded, the only answer I could give besides a shaking head, which I didn’t need to use. I sat down pulling friend with me. Wait did I just say friend? I’ve always thought and called her my ‘Kouhai’… my annoying, interfering, loud, obnoxious, busy body… junior. I laughed inwardly as I realized that I had just given the girl a promotion.
I was pulled out of my thoughts and so was Tsubomi’s hand from mine. I looked at her, wondering what was wrong, but she turned her back at me and pretended to be looking out at sea... or she could really be looking out at sea. I leaned to one side to try and take a peak at her face, one thing I was sure of... she was quite red. ‘Maybe the heat was getting to her?’ I thought then decided to reach in for a can of soda from the Ice Box. With the a slow steady and quiet hand I was able to get the cold can just inches away from her with out her noticing, then with a light tap on her shoulder she turns her head my way and…
She jumps away and screams; “EEEK! THAT’S COLD!!!”
Turning my way she looks at me ready to start giving me another one of her famous lectures about being nice to other people… But then she stopped even before she began. I noticed that she noticed the can I was holding out for her, I smiled and urged for her to take it already. “…ah!… for me?” she asked. If I could speak I’d probably be saying something sarcastic right about now, but instead I’m forced to settle for a short nod.
“Thank you…” she said with a blush on her face as she took the can out of my hand. Which I thought was suspicious, but I guess I’ll leave it alone… at least for now.
To my surprise Kohaku had cooked the fishes that I had caught earlier. And they were very delicious! It must have been the hard work I placed in catching them or something like that, that added a psychological factor to it’s taste. What ever it was it was one of the best fish I’ve ever tasted.
After lunch, Tsubomi and I decided to take a walk on the beach. We then swam and played on the water after we’ve digested some of lunch. Then return back to the house for some home made snow cones and a fresh coat of sun-block. I fell asleep on the floor soon after consuming all the delightful flavored ice.
When I woke up, it was almost sunset. ‘I must have fallen a sleep for three or four hours.’ I thought, forgetting that there was a clock on one of the room’s walls. A door slid open and as I turned my head I was surprised to see Tsubomi was wearing my old Sakura design Kimono. She noticed me look at her in surprise and instantly blushed.
“I’m just wearing it because Kohaku-san was pushy about it.” She said defensively and looked away with a pout on her face.
Kohaku then came in and said; “Only because she was staring at it for quite a while.”
Tsubomi blush incredibly right at that and almost dared take it off. I recalled that Kohaku mentioned a festival today and tomorrow when she picked us up yesterday afternoon. Deciding I wanted to go there, I picked up my notebook and wrote; “Where’s the red and black one I bought last time? Kohaku?” I showed it to Kohaku who read it in just a glance.
“I’ve had it ready in your room with the accessories you had bought with it. Would you like me to help you get changed?” She said and offered in a almost creepy voice and naughty sparkle in her eye. I smiled and though I can put on a Kimono on my own, I decided to accept her offer, because years ago I’ve learned that when Kohaku offers to do something in that tone of voice and with that look, she really wants to do it and will find someway to do it. And I’m not willing to risk letting what happened the last time I said no to her happen again…
We went up upstairs so that we could fix my hair up and change into my Kimono. It took a while to fix the dry feeling the salt water had left on my hair even though it’ll only be temporary. But that would be fixed later when we bathe in our very own out door hot spring… even though it’s not a real one but it’s private and has good ambiance. She also decided to place a little make up on me that by the time Kohaku showed me what I looked like in the mirror… I barely recognized myself. She had tied my hair behind my back into an almost pony tail like style, using some of my hair she made it look like my hair was like a fountain coming out of bun made of hair, which was all tied up with a red and gold traditional style hair pin. But it was actually the few tones of make up that threw me off… and I have to admit, vanity aside… I do look pretty. After that she retrieved the Kimono for me and helped me into it. It was a black Kimono, adorned with feathers of reddish gold and a passing phoenix and a similar sash in reversed colors.
We came down and entered the living room where Tsubomi was enjoying the sunset and a glass of iced tea. She turned her head as soon as she heard the door open. “Ah! Sempa…i… Yo…u…’re… b…a…c…k…” she managed to say although she did it with each syllable after “pa” growing ever slower and left her mouth hanging open.
I came closer and closed it for her with my index finger. But I did it with a smile. Honestly I was quite please with her reaction… It tells me that at the very least my looks weren’t the reason Hikari didn’t choose me. I then wrapped an arm around hers and gently tugged at her.
“I believe Yaya-chan is saying the two of you should go. You don’t want to miss too much of the festival.” Said Kohaku, who seemed quite amused with Tsubomi’s reaction, was hiding a smile and holding a laugh behind her kimono’s sleeve and hand.
“Aren’t you and Hisui-san coming?” Tsubomi asked curiously.
Kohaku gave her one of her winning smiles and replied; “We live here. We get to go to almost every festival. It’s okay if Hisui and I are late or don’t go… It’s not like we’ve never been there, and we have to make preparations for dinner as well as complete a few of Yaya-chan’s requests.”
I panicked a little when Kohaku revealed that thing about my requests. It was something I asked Kohaku personally when I we got here, yesterday evening. I hurriedly made a ‘shhh’ motion towards her asking her to stop that line of thought immediately. But it was too late…
“What requests would that be, sempai…?” Tsubomi turned and looked at me with a calculating eye. All I could do was scratch my cheek with a finger and pretend to laugh. She continued to stare for a few minutes, before giving up the subject… probably realizing that it was a secret or a surprise after a deep sigh.
“Oh well… whatever… shall we get going?” she said and began leading me out, but not before Kohaku gets to hand my notebook… just in case.
It was a bit of a walk towards the town’s shrine, but it was a lively and beautiful walk.
A half hour later, we reach the foot of the mountain where the shrine was. From down here we were blown away but the beautiful lights and colors that lit that mountain side. We climbed and explored each flat on the way to the top. It was full of game stalls, food shops, toys and mask stalls even fortune tellers and tiny pet shops.
I bought us some octopus balls, better known as Takoyaki, to share. We played some shooting games and dart games after. I even won us this pair of fox masks to wear like an ornament on the side of our heads. Tsubomi decided to take a fortune while I grabbed us two bundles of cotton candy. I was surprised to see her blushing harder than usual when I returned.
I handed her the other bundle after she had paid the girl outside the fortune telling tent. We ate and played some more after that. Ice creams, darts, candy apples, hoops, snow cones. I was about to point her towards another game both when I caught her eyeing the haunted house booth.
I tapped her shoulder and looked at her in what believe was a curious enough expression. I then looked and pointed at the Haunted House and looked at her again then lipped; “Wanna go?”
She blushed yet again, brought her eyes away from me and said; “I do.”
‘She is really blushing to much today… I have a weird feeling about this…’ I thought. I felt that something was up and I was about to know soon. For now I’ll just have to act normal and wait for it… It’ll be just too hard and too much trouble to make her tell me while I’m in this state. I nodded and placed my notebook carrying arm around her waist.
“Sempai!” she said as she tried to pry my hand and my notebook off her waist.
But I pulled her close and towards the haunted house. She stopped struggling and held on to me as soon as we entered. ‘For someone who wanted to go in… she sure isn’t good at tolerating scary things.’ …which in my book makes her all the more cute and huggable!
I held her tight and closer to me as a lot of weird stuff came popping out of no where. Tsubomi screamed an awful lot from the start. I was really more surprised of Tsubomi screaming in an ever increasing volume than the sudden appearance of the fake ghosts and weird things. But after a few minutes we somehow were able to find the exit and an end to that loud and almost scary trip with Tsubomi in Haunted House booth. I treated her to some Manju and Tea to help her calm down.
We ate away from the crowded areas. There was this small place on the side of one platform that had some benches and tables, it was surrounded by a lot of trees and huge flowering bushes that made it almost private, and we were lucky to find the area completely unoccupied. Tsubomi began talking about random things… anything to keep the air from being silent aside from the traditional festival music that the shrine was playing. Which suddenly stopped… and that meant one thing in this town.
I quickly silenced Tsubomi by placing my index finger on her lips. She blushed again and was about do say or do something to show how even more bashful she was becoming when I pointed out and up to the sky. The air was silent and peaceful, the stars were beautiful, and the soft night breeze was wonderful. And then… There came more lights in the sky.
“Fireworks!” Tsubomi almost yelled out happily. I smiled as I watched the amazed look on her face as she watched the wondrous flares of light that filled the night sky. “It’s beautiful…” she complemented. I nodded with my smile growing, before I resumed watching the sky.
After a few minutes… the flares were still decorating and redecorating the sky, filling the night with wondrous colors and light. I then felt Tsubomi pat my shoulder as she skid closer to me. I turned to look at her and saw something rather puzzling…
Tsubomi was looking at me, blushing, but holding a determined look on her face. “Yaya-sempai…” she said with the same feel of determination her face was giving off.
I quickly opened my notebook and scribbled “Yes?”
She began blushing harder, what ever she wanted to say she was being awfully shy about it… and at this point… I think I know what it is. I believe I’m not ready for it though… and Tsubomi is still so young, there will be prettier and better girls for her someday.
“Um… sempai?... I…” she said with a lot of difficulty.
‘Oh… no… here it comes…’
“… I…”
“I…”
“Yaya-sempai…”
‘this is going to be difficult…’ I thought. Tsubomi’s actions reminded me of a really sappy manga confession, where the one who is about to confess is either having second thoughts or couldn’t seem to say what he or she wants to say in fear of rejection. What I would not give to not be in this situation. At least not now, I’m not ready and Tsubomi is…
“Kiss… me?”
‘EH?! Did she just say what I think she just said.’ I asked myself and her as I looked at her in complete shock.
“A lot of my friends already had their first kisses, even though some are just practice kisses… they’re very much ahead of me.” So she said, trying to explain her request to me. “I know we’re not really that close but… I… umm…” she looked a little grim and sad like she knew she was digging her own grave.
I looked back at the fireworks, to think. It was tempting… after the bad kissing with Hikari and being kissed by Amane. A meaningful kiss to me seemed to have lost all meaning. What’s one practice kiss? But that’s the problem, what could be just a kiss to me could mean more to her. I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore. Three including myself is enough… more than enough.
‘Tsubomi is a nice girl...’
And with that my mind was made up. I flipped my notebook to another page, a clean and empty one, and wrote; “I’m sorry.” as neatly and large as I could, then showed it to her and looked at her directly with a weak apologetic smile.
She read it and looked away. Her tears streamed down her eyes but she quickly wiped them away. “No… I’m sorry for making such a request. It was very selfish of me.” She said thru a few sobs and sniffles. “I know you already have a lot in your mind. I’m sorry! Sempai!” She began crying harder. I placed my notebook down on the bench and hugged her gently. She cried so freely and loudly that I was glad there were still fireworks making noise that was distracting everyone and anyone that could find us.
But after a long while, the fireworks died down… and so did her tears. I gently rubbed her back and brushed her hair, to calm her down. I wanted to do more, say more… but that was all I could think of.
“Sempai…” She called my attention. I looked down at her and watched her wipe away some tears. She looked up at me and looked at me straight in my eye, I could not and dare not break.
She swallowed softly, I could feel her shiver a little. Most likely nervous, maybe even scared of what may happen when she says what she’s about to say. “…For what it’s worth…” she paused and took a deep breath.
I continued to look at her. I could feel my heart was beating quite fast, it was almost painful… ‘the suspense is killing me.’ I thought, but at the same time… a part of me wished that she wouldn’t say it
“please don’t say it…” I mouthed to her and hoped that she understood me.
But… didn’t reach her…
“I really like you… Yaya…-sempai.” Fresh tears fell from her eyes and ran across her cheeks. But she continued looking at me not hindered or annoyed by her tears and waited for a response.
Though I was expecting it… I must say, I’m very surprised. Just weeks ago, who would have thought that she could possibly like me? I knew or at least had a feeling that she had feelings for Hikari as well. The way she always tries to get between us, separate us, make me do things I don’t like even if it’s part of the choir, reminding me things to do that I’ve decided to skip entirely… just so that she could be with Hikari.
‘Who would have thought?’ I asked myself again, as a looked at her desperate face.
I mouthed a clear and readable “I’m sorry.” and looked away.
“It’s… ok..ay…” she said with a tearful voice. She sniffed and started to cry again. To my surprise, she pushes herself away from me, gets up and runs away.
“Tsubomi!” I tried to yell… almost begging my voice to come back. But nothing came. I decided to run after her.
She had a head start; running down the stairs of the mountain shrine wasn’t easy… especially in a Kimono. I was surprised to see that she was already two platforms down. I quickly pulled the leg portions of my Kimono to give me room to run and with all my strength ran after her.
She reached the foot of the mountain, but instead of turning and running on the sidewalk she headed for the street. To her surprise and shock, a car horn screamed out for her to get out of the way. I don’t know what happened but she didn’t move. I don’t know what happened, but I suddenly found myself running faster towards her… screaming; “TSUBOMI!!”
I quickly grabbed hold of the light post on the side of the street, took her hand and used the inertia that I had built up to sling us back to into the street where I wrapped my arms around her instinctively to protect her from the hitting the concrete floor.
The car continued to drive away, but it was the last thing on my mind.
“Sempai?” Tsubomi looked at me with scared but thankful eyes. And as much as I wanted to just hug her and tell her that she’s safe... something else came out;
I slapped her cheek with my right hand and yelled out. “BAKA!! What do you think you’re doing?! You could have been killed?!” I was angry, a little frustrated, hyper, adrenaline pumped and just glad she was safe, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t getting a lecture from me. “What the hell am I supposed to tell your parents if that car hit you?! I’m sorry, You daughter threw her life away on our little escape trip because I rejected her?!”
I was beginning to calm down, though as I was still yelling and lecturing the seemingly stunned girl I knew the adrenaline and the anger was beginning to die down. And I realized that she was looking at me, in a way that I believed one being lectured wasn’t suppose to… so I asked; “What?”
“Sem-sempai…” she pointed at me as she stuttered with her words… “Your Voice…”
“What about it?!” I yelled back.
“It’s… back…”
“Eh?!” It took her mentioning that fact, before I realized it. I could speak again.
“My Voice is back…?” I asked myself as a test. And hearing the sound of my own voice, made me quite happy that I yelled it out again.
“MY VOICE IS BACK!”
I hugged Tsubomi happily as I bounced up and down, laughing a bit louder than I expected as I did.
“AH?” I then realized that we were being watched… Quite a number of people have gathered to check what was going on and gossiping. I took Tsubomi’s hand and said… “I think I’ve embarrassed us enough… head go back.” And without waiting for her response I began leading her away from the shine’s foot and the crowd.
We remained silent on the walk back. We ended up walking on the beach, it wasn’t crowded one least bit and we could have a little privacy… To my surprise, she showed no sign of struggling away from my grasp… I took a little peek at her from the corner of my eye and saw her holding her reddening cheek with her free hand. I sort of regretted doing that. I just can’t control my anger sometimes. But what matters is that she’s safe. But this trip isn’t going to be comfortable for either of us if I don’t do something to fix it.
And with that in mind I called to her;
“Tsubomi…”
“Sempai…”
She called me, surprisingly at the same time… we surprised each other and quitted down again. I noticed a blush form on her face and honestly… I think I was too.
I stopped walking and turned to her. “You can go ahead, Tsubomi-chan…” I told her, before she had the chance to say the same for me.
She nodded but kept her eyes away from my face. I knew that it’s not because she was being insincere, it was because she wouldn’t be able to say it directly if she looked at me. “Um… I wanted to thank you. For saving my life.”
I smiled… whatever negative feelings I was holding dissipated after hearing those words. “You’re welcome, Tsubomi-chan. And I’m sorry for slapping you so hard.” I accepted her gratitude and apologized to her, while gently holding her slightly swollen and very red cheek.
She winced a little at my touch. “I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble sempai…” She looked up at me with watery eyes and a soft smile.
I stretched my arms around her and gave her a hug. “shhh… It’s alright. I’m just glad you’re fine.”
“Thank You. Sempai!” She returned my embrace by wrapping her arms around my waist. She cried again on my chest.
We stayed there for a while. Two girls, by the beach, sharing an embrace in my kimonos, under the moon lit sky, beside the cool sea, engulf by the soft sea breeze and sharing each other’s warmth. This went on for about a half hour until I decided to break the silence.
“Tsubomi…” I called her softly. Dropping the childish honorific to tell her I’m serious.
She looks at me, almost scared of what I’m about to say. “Yes? Sempai?”
For a short moment I had second thoughts about asking her this, but in the end my curiosity won over what little morals I had.
“Why did you want me to kiss you?” I asked her quite bluntly.
Her eyes opened wide and her whole face glowed red upon hearing my question and looked away obviously shy. I brushed her hair gently, hoping that I could calm her down enough so that she’d answer me. She gave me a very short and shy glace, before looking away again saying; “I told you why…”
“I see…” I said, and sighed deeply.
I raised my hand and cupped her undamaged cheek. She shivered and stiffened at the touch, but soon relax and leaned on it. I tilted her head so that she would be looking at me again. I then said in a soft, apologetic and trying to be comforting voice; “You’re still young Tsubomi… You’ll meet someone better.”
She began looking more depressed when she heard that, she did her best so that her eyes looked away… far way from me. “I don’t want to…” she said a bit angrily with a small pout.
I ignored her words, I continued; “And that someone will fall for you… Treat you like you’re the best thing that happened to her.”
But again she said in an angry tone; “I don’t care…”
“She’ll tell you that you’re beautiful.” I added, almost meaning what I said.
“I’d rather be called cute…” but yet again she shrugged of my words… I was very surprised that she preferred to be called cute.
I made one last try and told her this; “…and that she’ll love you. Forever…”
“I’ll just break her heart.” She said angrily as she pushed herself away from me and walked a few steps into the water, which soaked my old kimono up to the knee.
I frowned at the sight… not that my kimono was ruined, but rather because the girl wasn’t willing to listen to me. But then again… I can’t really blame her. If reason and logic were enough to convince a person in and out of love, then I probably wouldn’t have to suffer so much myself.
I sighed and smiled at her back. To be honest… I was impressed of this girl.
Grabbing her arm gently, I forcefully turned her towards me. Looked at her straight in the eye and said… “I don’t have feelings for you. Tsubomi.”
She looked at me strongly and proudly all of a sudden, that made me wonder if I had the wrong girl there for a second. And the she said in a strong and confident voice; “Not yet.”
‘Not yet?’ I repeated to myself. “What?... You’ll make me fall for you?” I asked her with a curious and sly eye. Not to mention a smile.
And without a second thought, she answered me immediately; “Eventually!”
“Really?” I asked her testing and teasingly, raising a brow in question and awe at the girl.
“I definitely will!” she said as she looked at me with a strong smile, confident eyes, and convincing voice.
“And you’ll hurt and cry if I reject you…” I told her; true, sad and bluntly.
“I can… take it. Until you say yes.” For a moment her words gave a sign of weakness, but to be honest… I expected her to show more. I raised my other hand and lightly pinched her slap swollen cheek, which caused her to scream out a loud and a bit playful; “OW!”
I frowned a little and told her; “It’ll hurt more than that… Tsubomi.”
Her pained face faded almost immediately. Though her eyes were streaming with tears, she resumed eye contact with me and I could feel her confidence, pride and determination from just that. But it was what she said that got me.
“I don’t care… I love you. Yaya”
I don’t remember how she said it. But then again I didn’t care. She said it… that was what was important to me. It convinced me to do one thing for her…
Still holding her cheeks, I began to lean and closer towards her slowly closing my eyes. I didn’t matter if I couldn’t see… I knew where I was going. In seconds, I felt it… Tsubomi’s soft lips. I kissed her gently slowly moving my hands from her face to her neck and back. She stiffened and shivered at first but that soon passed. She slowly wrapped her arms around my neck and very eagerly returned the kiss and even dared being adventurous enough to slip in her tongue for an even deeper kiss… one that I allowed and returned in kind.
It was beyond anything I’ve felt before, and though there was no love from my side… It certainly didn’t bother me or my partner one bit. If anything the kiss grew wilder and wilder. I could feel her touching me in places that I’d rather not mention… but know that it felt incredibly good.
Kissing her was sweet… or should I say she tasted sweet. It could have been all the candy and sweets we have been eating. But this was something I’ll remember. That unlike Hikari’s, whose flavor I never had the chance to learn and Amane’s who I’ll only bitterly remember as the taste of my own blood… Tsubomi’s was special.
‘It was sweet. Very sweet.’
It was wonderful, if anything… I almost wished that this was my first kiss all over again. The passion and feelings that Tsubomi was sending to me from just one long, wet and steamy kiss… was almost too much for one broken hearted teen to take.
In the end, I have no idea what time it was…
…or how long the kiss lasted…
…or who broke it…
…or how we ended on the sand with our legs getting wet and with her on top of me…
…
But I was sure of one thing. Although I do not love her… I certainly wouldn’t mind to… someday…
To be continued…
Author’s Notes: YEAH!!! I hope all the Yaya x Tsubomi fans will enjoy this chapter very much.
Oh yeah… Special guest cameo done by the twin maid sisters from “Tsukihime” Hisui and Kohaku. And a little note as to why I prefer cameos as to making up my own character: Well personally, I prefer bringing characters from other animes (especially other Yuri animes) specially my favorite ones because like the main characters, I like writing about them. This would make the story more appealing and fun to me and other readers who have seen them before. To those that haven’t I’ve written about them in a way that doesn’t bring too much spoilers about them or make them too out of character. Now if you don’t like that, my dear readers… I’m sorry but I won’t stop doing so. It’s just too much fun! XD
Back to Yaya's Voice Index - Back to Strawberry Panic Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction