Notes: Sorry for any mistakes. My girlfriend was watching Mai Hime while I was trying to write so I found Shizuma kept coming out Shizuru. I think I fixed it all though... . This morning Sachiko and I met before class, as has become our usual routine. She has finally asked me to accompany her to the yamayurikai meeting after school so that she may get me a starting position within the group. Apparently it's quite easy to get a temporary position when one of them has their sights set on you, as had happened with Yumi before she became Sachiko's petite soeur. Not that I'm excited, mind you. It's almost more troublesome then it's worth, but at least it's keeping my free time occupied with pretty girls. What more could one ask for, really? "Shizuma, will you pay attention? If you space out like this they will never accept you and I'm bound to grow enough of a headache trying to fight them on the matter as it is." "But I was paying attention... To your pretty face, Sachiko-sama," I tease just to watch her reaction. Just as I expect she tenses and glares at me, but I can see the faintest hint of a smile on her lips. "Flattery gets you nowhere with me," she warns as we enter the rose mansion. "Now remember to behave yourself, Shizuma." I notice that she has left the honorifics off of my name, but let it slide this time. Could it be that we're getting close? I fight back a giggle knowing that now is not the time to point out such things. I wonder if I could get away with just calling her Sachiko. I do enjoy pushing my luck you know. We walk into the meeting room and suddenly everyone's eyes are on us. I feel as if I should act shy, or surprised but really isn't this what is to be expected? "Good day, Shizuma-san," Rei greets me as Sachiko takes her seat and motions for me to sit next to her. "Good day, Rosa Foetida; Rosa Gigantea," I relpy as I take the offered seat. "Sorry to intrude on your meeting time today." "Not at all. A friend of Rosa Chinensis is a friend of ours," Shimako replies with a kind smile. I like this girl. "That being said," Sachiko says, "I would like to ask you all to count Shizuma as a temporary member of the yamayurikai." I watch as everyone pauses, looking around at each other. It's obvious that they are not keen on the idea, yet no one wants to be the one to say it. Finally it's Rei who steps up to speak her mind. "I'm sorry but we can't do that. We're all very happy to see you smiling again," she says as she looks at Sachiko. "However the yamayurikai is losing in popularity due to your new friendship. While we won't get in the way of your personal matters, we can't allow Shizuma-san into the yamayurikai." "What do you mean, losing popularity? How is that even possible?" "I thought you would have heard the rumors..." Noriko says quietly. "What is it now?" "They're saying that you dumped Yumi-chan for Shizuma-san. The students are all quite upset about it. I suppose with the ammount of time you two have spent together this last week it does seem almost plausable." I watch as Sachiko holds her hand to her head and lets out an exasperated sigh. Though I want to comfort her somehow, I have learned better then to speak up in meetings such as this. Sometimes it's just best to make yourself invisible... Or just run away. "I'm sorry to have burdened you," I say as I stand. "Please excuse me." "Shizuma, wait!" I feel Sachiko's hand around my wrist as she stands up as well to face her friends and fellow council members. "As you all know, that is the farthest thing from the truth. Yumi has decided to be with Sei-san and I have done nothing but make a new friend who understands me. If there is harm in that, I can't seem to find it. I would certainly hope that as council members and as friends you would work to put a stop to these trifiling rumors. However if we deny Shizuma a place then it is only going to make us look more guilty." She did it again. Shizuma. And wow, she is sexy when she gets pissed off! I find myself grinning as I listen to her ramble on in my defense. Or should I say in our defense? "If Shizuma is a part of the yamayurikai then it would be perfectly reasonable that we should be seen together. And if it's popularity that you are worried about, I will give you my word that within a week all previously mentioned rumors will stop." "She does have a point," Shimako says with just the tiniest slither of a smile on her lips. I see her take a long look at Noriko and gather that she has probably been in a smiliar situation as we are now finding ourselves in. "I say that we accept Shizuma-san as a member." "It's not popularity we care about Sachiko. But if the students do not respect us they will not listen to us. It's our duty to uphold a positive image with them," Rei says with a sigh. "Is my word not enough for you, Rosa Foetida?" "C'mon onee-sama," Yoshino pleas as well. "One week. If you have proven your word by then we will officially make Shizuma a member of the yamayurikai. Until then she is temporary, but allowed to sit in on all meetings. Deal?" "Yes. Thank you. Now if you will please excuse us, we have some damage control to take care of." "We understand," Shimako says. "Welcome to the group, Shizuma-san." "And Shizuma-san, before you go," Rei calls out as we get to the door. "Please understand that I do enjoy your company and hope that you don't hold this against our friendship. I only have to keep things in order is all." "I know," I smile at her as I grab Sachiko's hand and pull her along after me, out of the mansion. "See, I told you. Headache." "Aww poor Sa-chi-ko," I say, deliberately drawing out her name so that she would notice my lack of honorifics so that I can guage her reaction. "Oh think you can get away with that do you?" She crosses her arms and looks at me seriously. "With what?" I play innocent as she shakes her head. "Where's my sama?" "Hmmm. Sama, huh? Besides, I let you do it to me!" "That's different! I'm Rosa Chinensis, I get to do that." Finally she laughs, and I can't help myself from doing the same. Maybe in there she does have a sense of humor. I suppose you just have to dig deep enough. Now we just have to work on her courage and getting her to accept Yumi back into her life to put a stop to these rumors... much to my dismay. --- "Do I really have to call her?" "Are you really going to whine about this, Sachiko?" That shuts me up. Was I really whining? Do I even know how to do that? I fall silent for a moment thinking on this. On everything, I suppose. How much I have changed since meeting Sachiko and the many effects of it. Sure, everyone notices that I'm more relaxed, but my family is unhappy with the change. They believe that I'm setting my standards too low. The rumors are still going on at school, no longer being kept to whispers behind my back. "Sachiko?" I hear Shizuma's voice in the phone again and snap back to reality. After how hard she has worked to pull me out of myself I know that I will find the strength of my own to do what needs to be done. "Ah, sorry Shizuma. You're right, I'll call her. But I've gotta run, okay?" "Alright. I'll see you tomorrow morning. You better be with her, when I do." I hear the line click dead and sigh. There is still too much on my mind to take on calling Yumi right now, though I know I have to as my week is almost over. I suppose that while I'm grateful to Shizuma for being my friend, in a way I almost wish I had not met her. After all, she is the only one who has ever been brave enough to pull my emotions right out of me and make me face them. It's almost too much to stand. My fingers start dialing the number they still have memorized and I remind myself that if I can pull this off, my life will go back to some level of normalicy. I just hope that I can hold myself together while talking to Yumi. Her brother picks up and after a polite greeting with him he runs off to get Yumi for me, and I can feel myself so nervous that breathing normally becomes a task in itself. "This is Yumi," she says as she picks up the phone. "Yumi, it's Sachiko." I force a smile, though she can't see it through the phone. I somehow feel that it will help me control the steadiness of my voice. "On... Sachiko-sama, how are you?" She faulters and I remember how much I want to be her onee-sama again. To be anything to her again. "I'm well, thank you for asking. How are you, Yumi-san?" "I'm good. Struggling a little with school work, but nothing exciting." "I was wondering if you would meet me tomorrow before school? I have something I want to ask you." "Of course. By the statue?" "Yes, that will be good. Thank you, Yumi." She laughs and finally I believe what Shizuma has been telling me. That maybe things really will get better from here. I couldn't begin to explain how grateful I am to her for sticking by my side, even if sometimes I wonder if she makes things more complicated then they ought to be. "So how are things?" I venture, feeling my strength return after thinking about Shizuma's encouraging words from the last few days. Yumi becomes quiet for a moment, putting together the real meaning of my question. "They're good," she says quietly and I can tell she is still afraid of hurting me. Not that I blame her, I'm still afraid of her hurting me too. "I'm glad. Well, I'll see you in the morning then yes?" She confirms and we get off the phone. I feel proud of myself for handling that as well as I did, but fight off the urge to call Shizuma and tell her about it. It's not like the morning is that far off. With my mind much more at ease, I head to bed myself, waiting for morning to come. At first I play through the scenes of what will happen tomorrow, wondering about all the different ways Yumi might react to my asking her to be my petite soeur again. Will she be happy? Will she reject me? If she does what then? I hadn't thought of a back up plan. An hour passes and I realize that unless I think of something else I will never fall asleep. Instead my mind shifts to Shizuma, and I relax, imagining our meeting by the pond and the friendship that has come from it. She was honest when she said she would stay by my side as I try to regain control over my life and I've found that I genuinely enjoy her company. It's nice to finally have a friend who not only doesn't care about my social status or wealth but who is blunt enough to tell me to face up to my true self. It's with these thoughts that I finally fall asleep, and just as expected the morning comes much too soon. I feel almost as if I woke up in the midst of a panic attack, nervous over my meeting with Yumi. Everything seems to move too fast, from the time to my driver as he drops me off at school before I find myself ready to be there. As I walk to the statue of Maria-sama I try to find my composure, only to have it come undone as I see Shizuma and Yumi speaking to one another. I pause only for a moment and catch them laughing before I feel a now familiar pang of jealousy hit me in the stomach. But who is it I'm jealous of? Yumi or Shizuma, or both? I push the thoughts from my mind as I walk up to the two of them and make myself visible. "Already friends I see," I say calmly despite the fact that I'm slightly worried about what they might have been talking about. "Of course," Shizuma says with a smile. "How could anyone not make friends with the famous Yumi-san?" I arch an eyebrow and Shizuma rolls her eyes at me. I was hoping to have some encouraging words from her before getting thrown into my conversation with Yumi, but I suppose this will have to do. "If you'll excuse me, I'll leave you two alone. It was nice to meet you, Yumi-san. We should talk again sometime." "It was nice to meet you too, Shizuma-sama," she says with a bow. I watch as Shizuma walks over to a bench out of earshot and sits down, waiting to find out how things progress. "Good day, Yumi-chan." "Good day, Sachiko-sama." We stand in an awkward silence for a moment and I feel myself falter for words. I glance and see Shizuma out of the corner of my eye and find my courage restored, knowing that if something goes wrong she will be around to help me through it. "I don't know how to bring this up so I'll just jump right in, if you don't mind?" I wait for her to answer and she nods finally, watching me intently. "I want you to be my petite soeur, Yumi. Even if you want to be with someone else, I miss being in your life." "I don't want to cause more of a burden then I already have been on you. I know everything that happened hurt you, Sachiko-sama. I admit the timing for it was awful. If I had known what was going on..." "I should have told you about it when it started instead of hiding it from you. That part I only blame myself for." "Still, I know that it hurt you. And hurting you was, is, hard for me." "Yes, it did hurt. I deserved it, at least the part about you choosing Sei. I should have been more open with you. Instead I practically pushed you to her by keeping everything to myself. I get that I wouldn't have been the one you fell for, or that maybe it's my own fault if you did and changed your mind. But wasn't I at least a decent onee-sama?" "Do you really want to have me as your soeur still? After everything?" I watch as her voice trails off, her eyes looking at the ground. At least she still cares. I look at her sad expression and try to convince myself that it's not because she loves me. Only because she feels guilty. "Things wouldn't be the same but I want you to be in my life at least as my friend, and petite soeur. Please, Yumi-chan?" She nods and I feel relief flood through me. I take my rosary off and place it around her neck once more, ignoring the students that are starting to gather around us. Take that rumors! I go to straighten Yumi's collar and take a moment to glance over to give Shizuma a smile of thanks. When I look over though I see nothing but her back as she walks away towards the school. I feel torn suddenly, as if I had just done something wrong. A moment later Yumi coughs and brings my focus back on her. "Shall we, onee-sama?" I look at Yumi's smiling face and feel myself now even more confused then when things all started. Instead we begin walking towards the school and I change the subject. "I'm glad, Yumi-chan. Everyone has missed you greatly. You really do belong in the council, you know." "I've missed everyone too. I've had a hard time staying away, actually. Sei said you would talk to me again though, if I gave it time. She will be really happy to hear we have worked things out." "Ah, I see." How do I respond to this? Bothered that she talks to Sei about me? Happy that she has wanted to have me back as her onee-sama? Jealous that it's Sei she talks to now, not me? "I'm glad you have Shizuma-sama now," she says quietly, and it takes me a moment to grasp what she is saying. "It's not like that!" I respond, almost too quickly. "She's just a friend. She helped make me realize that you belong as a part of my life, even if it's not the way I had originally wanted." "She's helped you in other ways too, from what I've heard from Yoshino-chan. I've heard you laugh a lot more when she's around," she says. "It's kind of hard not to, isn't it? You were giggling away when I found you this morning, were you not?" "Do you like her, onee-sama?" The seriousness of her question takes me by surprise. More so the seriousness in her face, which has always revealed everything so easily. I take a moment to get the answer out, but finally I answer with a firm "No," which I'm not sure she takes seriously but we drop the suject as we enter the school. We parted ways with plans to meet after school, everything seeming to be back to normal. At least on the outside. I could feel the energy of the students as they gossiped about my reunion with Yumi, and knew that the yamayurikai would be pleased. I'm satisfied as well, having Yumi back in my life, knowing that every day it will get easier to face her and that my heart will break less and less. Already it's easier, though I still love her. But there is one thing bothering me, and the more time that passes, the more worried I get. I realize that maybe Shizuma had other plans before class, so I spend the day searching for her during my breaks. Normally I would see her during lunch too, but today no matter where I look I can't find her. By the time school ends I'm nearly out of my mind but I know that I have to present Yumi to the council so I wait to meet her outside of the rose mansion. "What's wrong, onee-sama?" she asks as she approaches me, a cute look of concern on her features. "It's nothing," I say. I don't want to cast a shadow over her moment. She deserves to have her friends back without having to worry about something on my behalf. "Come on, Yumi-chan." "You're doing it again." "What?" "Keeping things from me. And it's not been a day! I know I'm dense but I know when you're upset. Please talk to me." Her request is sincere, and if I've learned anything from the past it's that I don't want to lose anyone, much less Yumi again, over keeping secrets. We stop at the top of the stairs and I watch as she smiles, happy that I'm going to open up to her. If only I had thought about doing that in the first place. "It's just I haven't seen Shizuma since this morning. Lately we've been having lunch together, and now she's a part of the council too, so she should be here." "Maybe she's inside?" Yumi points to the door and I realize that she's right. I can't believe I have been panicing without even checking to see if she was even here. Why assume she would wait for me? "Let's check!" She takes my hand and pulls me along with her, in a way I am much getting used to between her and Shizuma doing it all the time. We almost stumble into the meeting room and everyone's face lights up upon seeing her. No introductions needed, I take my seat as they all take turns hugging Yumi. I want to feel happy for them, or even for myself, but I can't. Not without Shizuma here to share it with me. She's the only reason I was able to do this. For me. For them. For all of us. "Excuse me," I say as I stand back up. "I'll be right back. Yumi-chan, stand in for me for a bit ok?" "Okay, onee-sama!" I don't know if I will find her, but I've got one last place to look now that I have time. I head straight for the pond where we became friends, preparing a lecuture in my mind for her. As I hoped, she was there laying in the grass staring at the sky. I stand above her with my arms crossed, ready for a fight. "Why aren't you at the meeting?" "What can I say? I'm more of a main character then a sidekick." She extends her hand and I take it, helping her to her feet. "I'm proud of you for getting Yumi back though." "We have a meeting to get to," I say, ignoring her. This time it's my turn to take her hand and drag her with me, back to the mansion. "I'm sorry I didn't come. I suppose it was a little immature of me. I just don't know how I'll act if it's you and Yumi together. I don't want to get in the middle." "You'll act like Shizuma. That's why I want you there. Everything is more fun that way. You help life seem a little less confusing, even though sometimes I think you make it even more so." Somehow during our walk back to the mansion I find that our fingers are laced together. It feels comforting, even if I haven't got the energy to think of all it's implications at the moment. For right now, I don't want to think. Yumi is my petite soeur, Shizuma is my friend, and the council is once again joyous and happy. So if I'm a little confused about life, I think I can handle it. I always have such great friends and finally I realize that even if I let them see a little bit of myself, they won't turn their back on me. Maybe for once, at least for a moment, I can consent to the fact that I am truly happy. Next chapter: Alcohol, and old friends!?
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