Notes: So I got a little carried away and things ended up happening that I hadn't planned on sooooo.. Next chapter will involve alcohol and old friends. And also be the last one. It's been a week now since Yumi has rejoined the yamayurikai. My life has returned to normal, at least as normal as it ever was. Today we are meeting to plan new years festivities for the students, and ourselves. Shizuma has really brought life to this mansion, flirting and joking her way through everything. Her and Yumi actually seem to be making friends of each other which, I admit, startles me a little bit. "So we will leave the decorations to Yumi and Noriko. Yoshino and Shizuma you will be in charge of advertising. Is everyone agreed?" Everyone nods, as do I, though I haven't been paying much attention to anything. It was Shizuma's idea to provide a free breakfast for the students after the holiday break knowing that it would provide them with a chance to break back into school life with ease. I must admit that I'm proud of her for such an idea, especially since I had thought of nothing for the students myself. Needless to say I've been too stuck on my own life lately. Out of nowhere I feel a hand creeping up my thigh and immediately turn to Shizuma after slapping her hand away. "Really Shizuma, you're as shameless as Sei!" I say before I even realize that it probably sounded insulting to Yumi. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I did but not towards Sei. Just to Shizuma." I lay my head in my hands and sigh, trying to find a balance between being myself and watching what I do and say to provide happiness for others around me. "She is pretty shameless," Yumi giggles with a blush, obviously not offended by my angry comment to Shizuma. I absoloutely do not want to know what she is referring to. "They were talking to you and you were sitting there like you were dead." She leans over and whispers in my ear, "How could I stop myself from such an oppertunity?" "I may as well be dead," I reply out of frustration and embarassment. "I'm sorry everyone, what were you saying?" "We were wondering if we should celebrate the new year together? Unless you had plans?" Shimako asks politely as ever. "No, I don't. Actually, I was thinking it would be fun to have a celebration at my house? Youko is coming into town and I know she would love to see everyone." I can feel everyone's excitement as I mention my grande soeur, and how could I blame them? I could certainly use some of her sensible advice right about now. I spent so long trying to stay cool and collected as she always has but lately I know it's all come undone. "Yumi?" I ask, noticing that it's only her and Shizuma who have not said they would like to come. I can imagine Yumi's hesitation, though I want her to come even if it means finally facing her and Sei together. "Bring her. She's never refused a party, has she?" I ask quietly, giving her a smile. I watch as her face lights up and I find that I am okay with the idea of seeing her with Sei. If Yumi is happy then I will be happy for her. Next I turn to Shizuma and arch an eyebrow, asking without words. "I'm sorry, an old friend is coming to see me for the weekend." "Couldn't you bring her along? We aren't that scary, are we?" Yoshino asks, saving me from having to convince her myself. "Are you sure it's okay?" "Of course. You are a part of the group now and are welcome to all our gatherings along with anyone you choose to bring. Any word on Eriko?" I ask Rei, hoping to make the night as memorable for everyone as possible. "She can't make it. She sends her best to everyone though," Rei answers with the dissapointment etched on her face. Everyone gets to see their grande soeur but her. I imagine I'd feel the same way if Youko had decided not to come. "So then lets conclude this shall we? Since classes start back on the third, lets meet on the second to prepare for it. Please work on your decoration and advertising plans over the break and come prepared. Since we want it to be a surprise to the students don't mention anything to your friends, but make sure that the advertising covers the campus well enough so that every student will see it upon their return. Anything else?" Everyone shakes their head no, and finally it is time for our official holiday break to start. I remind everyone to be at my house promptly at eight on new years eve and gather my things. "See you later, onee-sama!" Yumi says as she gives me a hug that I can tell I hold for a second or two too long. I watch as she walks away and sigh, letting myself relax now that Shizuma and I are the only ones in the room. "Ready?" she asks, and I nod, glad to not have to worry about words with her. She takes my hand in her own, an action I've come to think of as very comforting, and leads me out of the mansion. When we reach the school gates she stops and pulls me into a hug, staring at me with those deep green eyes of hers. "I'll miss you," she says as she bends over and kisses me on the cheek. Before I can pull myself together she has already spun on her heels and started to walk off. Deep in shock, with a hint of a smile on my face, I climb into my car and let my driver take me home. To my cage. To the longest week of my life, until I get to see everyone again. --- The days pass quickly as I prepare for Miyuki's arrival. Today is Christmas eve, and I admit it's lonely in this apartment by myself. Almost so lonely that I wish my parents had come to visit, though I know they can't afford it after paying for me to stay here so that I can attend the school of my choice. I pull out a picture of Kaori and curl up on my sofa. I run my fingers over her face, close my eyes and try my best to remember the feel of it the way I once could. A few tears trickle out and I try to calm myself, remembering all the good things my life has in it now. "I met a girl," I say to the picture, not really caring that Kaori can't hear me. It's still nice to hope that somehow she can, right? "Well, I've met a lot of girls. But there's one that's really special. Would you hate me for it, Kaori?" I set the picture down and close my eyes, thinking of how nice it feels to be near Sachiko. Am I wrong for wanting to have someone in my life again? Before my thoughts can get much deeper the phone rings and I'm surprised to find it's Sachiko on the line. "I'm sorry to disturb you, Shizuma. I just needed a bit of a distraction from my family. I'm going crazy in this house." "Is it really so bad?" I ask, smiling for the the distraction from my own loneliness. "Yes. Christmas is pointless to the Ogasawara's. What's the point in buying presents for each other when you're rich and have everything you want? The only thing it does is force everyone into one room to pretend that we like each other." "Then why not leave?" "Where to? It's Christmas eve. I'm lucky they let me go to my room for a few minutes." "Come over to my place. They won't find you here," I laugh at the thought as I get an image of her fleeing from her parents in her pajamas to run into my arms. "I couldn't disturb your family like that," she responds politely, and I ponder for a minute if I should finally tell her that I live on my own. Would it really be so bad if I convinced her to come over? I look over at the picture of Kaori's smiling face and though I can't explain it, I can feel as if she is encouraging me. "My family isn't here. I live on my own, they just pay for my expenses so that I could come to Lillian. We made a deal after Kaori passed away that if they let me start over, I would work at actually going to school. So long as I keep my marks up they support me in my decision." "Why didn't you tell me you were alone?" she asks, and I can tell already she is feeling sorry for me, which is exactly why I didn't tell her. "Just didn't want to be a gloomy black cloud on anyone, so I've kept it to myself. But really, if you want you could come by and watch poorly animated Christmas movies with me. Just don't feel like you have to ok?" "No, I," she pauses and I can hear her taking a deep breath. "I want to, Shizuma. It's why I called." "Then hurry up and get over here," I say. She laughs as she says goodbye. No doubt about it now. I've turned Sachiko into a rebel! I begin to tidy up my apartment, stoping to kiss the picture of Kaori. "Thank you," I whisper to it, as I put it back in it's place. --- Despite my family's unhappiness over my decision, I find myself standing at Shizuma's doorstep around an hour later. One thing I have realized over the last few days is that while money may buy you class, friends, status and a lot of nice clothes, it doesn't buy you happiness. Or maybe I've always known that, and just stopped trying to convince myself that it would. Now that I know Shizuma lives on her own I'm almost jealous of her freedom to make her own decisions without having to fight so many people just to be able to leave the house. Right now this idea is seeming more and more like heaven then anything I have ever known. No, it feels like freedom that I'm truly tasting for the first time. When she answers the door I can hardly contain my laughter as I stare at her in her pajamas. Good thing I decided on the jeans and t-shirt look Yumi taught me about before or I would have been severely overdressed. "Going to bed already?" I ask as she ushers me in. "My house, my rules," she responds. I look at her mischevioius grin and sit down on her sofa knowing that all the rules of 'ladyship' don't apply when it's just the two of us. Especially not when one is in their jammies. "So what do we do now?" I ask as she sits down next to me and digs around for her remote control. "We act like normal teenagers," she says but I can't help but look confused I suppose. After all, what do I know of normal? "We eat junk food, stay up all night watching tv and gossiping and all that." "I suppose I can handle that." We don't speak anymore as the tv comes on, showing the Christmas movies I have always heard spoken of but have never actually seen before as we don't watch tv in my house. The night proceded on with us being as normal as possible, at least as normal as two awkward teenagers could manage. Midnight came quickly and I realized that I had no intention of leaving, but didn't want to impose on Shizuma. "I should probably go," I say but Shizuma's pout stops me from moving. "It's Christmas now! You can't leave me alone on Christmas," she says as dramatically as possible, but the grin on her face is as evil as ever. So it's decided. We both want me to stay. I settle back into the couch, which somehow ends up with me settled against Shizuma's shoulder, my arm wrapped around hers with us holding hands. As usual neither of us bring it up in conversation. I know I'm not ready to talk about what it means, or where it's leading to yet. Right now it's enough that it feels warm and right and comforting. "You're family is going to kill you," she says without hesitation as I begin to doze on her shoulder. "It's okay. They've already tried that. It didn't work." "Have they?" she asks, obvoiusly taking me literally and I laugh in response. "Close enough. They forced me to grow up as someone I don't like being. Luckily though I've had you and Yumi to make me realize what a cold bitch I always was." "Does that mean you'll stop yelling at Yumi for making mistakes?" "Teaching her how to be proper has nothing to do with being cold," I state. "It's my job as her onee-sama to make sure she knows the proper ways of a lady. At least when we're at school. But sometimes even a lady gets to relax, doesn't she?" "So then you'll stop yelling at me?" "Only if you stop misbehaving." "Never!" "Then get used to it," I say as I move closer to her. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She kisses the top of my head and I know that her words echo my thoughts almost exactly. The rest of the night we spend in silence, growing sleepy as we lay against each other on the couch. If this is what being a normal teenager means, I want to be normal much more often from now on. Morning comes too quickly as Shizuma wakes me up despite trying her best not to. For a moment I find that I want to kiss her, and I can tell she is thinking the same thing, but we both hesitate for too long and the moment passes. Instead I grow paniced over waking up in front of her, sure that I look like hell. She stops my hand in my hair and smiles at me. "You're beautiful, don't worry," she says before droping her hairbrush in my lap and moving into her bedroom to get dressed. By the time she comes back out I feel much more like myself, but know that if I don't get home soon my oral hygene may suffer damage beyond repair since I hadn't thought of a toothbrush when I left home. I borrow her phone to call my driver and she watches me from the kitchen as she makes her morning tea. When it's ready she brings me a cup as well, sitting down at the table next to me. "Is your family still going to let you have everyone over even though you made them mad by coming here?" "Of course. They don't really care what I do, so long as I don't do anything to shame them publicly," I say with a sigh. "Like refusing to marry Suguru?" The question springs out of nowhere and I'm sure if it were possible, it would have knocked me on the floor. "You know about that? Not that I was hiding it or anything. It's just so much that's been on my mind I haven't found the time to bring it up." She stares into her tea mug and I grow frightened. Another aspect of my perfect life left to ruin the life I want to have. "We'll figure it out right? One crisis at a time with you." I look up to find a determined look on her face and relax. She doesn't hate me. She wouldn't, would she? A horn starts honking outside and I realize my driver has arrived and stand to leave, gathering my bag and jacket. "Don't forget to work on your posters," I remind her as she walks me to the door. "I won't." "See you in a few days then?" She nods. Her green eyes are once again focused on mine and I feel myself drawn to her with an unexplainable longing. I give into it slightly and wrap my arms around her and kiss her cheek. "Merry Christmas." I take in her smile before walking away, knowing that this has been the best Christmas present I could have asked for.
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