For clarification, "bad end" was a sarcastic reflection on how Koike and Amane's relationship has accidentally become an alternative to Momomi and Kaname's in the story, Astraea Lake without Kaname's confession. This confirms Koike's role as foil, bitch and Girl It Sucks to Be.
“I know. I’m here, already.” Kaname sauntered forwards, glaring at the floor. “You don’t have to tell me that.”
“Well, if you keep being late, it will bear repeating,” Amiki complained. “Rumour has it that she’s in an even worse mood than usual.”
“Really?” Kaname asked, disinterest plain in her voice.
“Yeah. Didn’t Shion tell you?”
“I haven’t seen her today. Not after breakfast.”
“Is that so? Well, this was so important she went ran into our room in the middle of lunch. Such an over-enthusiastic girl.” Amiki shook her head irritably. “In any case, she said that theysaid- they being her paparazzi first years or whatever- that some fifth years had been making money selling Serané’s stuff to younger students. Oh, Kariya’s things too, but if you violate… what is it she says… Shizuru, then she really goes on the warpath.”
“Of course. I expect the executions to be arbitrary and brutal.” Kaname sighed. “Are we working or what? After you make all that fuss, you just stand there and make random conversation?”
“You, of all people, should know the danger represented by Kariya-sama’s anger. And I’ll have you know that you’re someone who will all too easily fall pray to that. The term ‘usual suspect’ comes to mind.” Amiki folded her arms impatiently. “In any case, you may have noticed we’re a woman down. What have you done with your girlfriend? Didn’t you come together, all over each other?”
“Shut up.”
“Well, whatever. Don’t blame me. We’re not doing anything until she deigns to arrive.”
“Forget it,” Kaname said, walking towards the cupboard. “We can start without, can’t me?”
“It’s a matter of principle. Well, fine, if you want to spare her that much.” Amiki ignored the sarcastic grunt she received for that comment, walking forwards. “You wait here for now, Olesa. I’ll start with her.”
“Yes.” Olesa frowned. “Is there anything wrong, Kenjou-san?”
“Of course not. What are you talking about?”
“You’re being even more negative than normal.”
“Tch. As if that’s a big deal…”
“If you say so,” Olesa replied primly.
“Ah. She’s here.” Amiki shouldered a mop and glared. “You’re late! Later than Kaname, even! That’s the dictionary definition of unacceptable standards, you know!”
“Good afternoon.” Momomi kept her voice low, looking at the floor.
Kaname also busied her eyes elsewhere, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach. Lead marbles placed in treacle probably feel like this, if they feel at all. But I can worry about it later.
“Don’t you have anything to say in your defence? You’re pretty shameless.” Amiki sighed when she got no reply, picking up another mop and throwing it at the girl. “Here. We don’t have the time to stand around talking, you know. Now you’re here we can begin.”
Momomi caught it with something that could even pass for deftness. “I see…”
Amiki took a third mop and walked towards Olesa, handing it to the girl. “Especially if the Etoiles turn up. Did you hear about that? Kariya’s pissed off as all hell itself because-”
“I heard.”
“Oh. Shion find you?”
“No. They were talking about it in class.”
“I see.” Amiki frowned, apparently nonplussed. “But really, you have to wonder at the sanity of these people. I consider myself a ruthless and rebellious sort, but I’d walk on hot coals before you persuaded me to bother Serané.”
“Some rebel,” Kaname muttered. “That’s like a resistance fighter who won’t target enemy soldiers, thank you, they might fight back.”
“So like a terrorist?” Amiki snorted. “You’re as correct as ever, Kaname.”
“Hey, you said it. Not me.”
“Even so, your choice of metaphors remains graphic.” Amiki sighed, frowning in bemusement. “I guess I should be glad that wasn’t sexual or blasphemous, this is about as high as your standard gets.”
Kaname opened her mouth to retort, possibly to say that any wit was better than less than none, then shrugged and snorted. Too much effort. “Whatever.”
Olesa looked between them. “Are you two alright? You appear to be in low spirits.”
“We’re fine,” Kaname grunted. “And you’re a thousand years too early to offer us comfort, you know. You’re you.”
“So there is comfort to be offered… as ever, you’re being difficult.”
“Hey, hey,” Amiki said. “So you two had a tiff again? What the hell is up with that? The sexual tension is getting unhealthy, just get on with it already. But not where I can see you.”
Kaname grabbed a bucket and spun, walking towards the fountain. “What the hell do you know about anything?”
Kaname ignored the pressing feeling of two people staring at the back of her neck and the one person looking elsewhere, flouncing forwards with a dark look on her face. Damn her. She’s always so bloody arrogant, isn’t she? It’s just irritating, the way she thinks she can judge a situation at a glance. And even with that presumption, it’s not like she does anything good with it. She just uses as a chance to make wisecracks. Besides, what’s up with Olesa? She’s the fricking ice queen, what Amane would be if she was actually, genuinely a girl. Far too good to notice people around her. Who does she think she’s fooling, being so ostensibly considerate? She isn’t a polite person, so why bother now? It’s not like she’s even perceptive, she’s just trapped in her own little world…and at this point I’m just being mean-spirited and stupid. Blame Koike. That works. Everything is her fault. Or it would be, except I stuck around too long and noticed that she is also a person. This is why I don’t like making friends. It makes things far more complicated, in a bad way. Kaname sighed, feeling the cold air brush her face as she stepped outside. And how about her? Her being Momomi… she’s more melancholy than mad, I think. At least it appears that way. Things are awkward, though. I’m damned if I know what to do, and I’ve been thinking about it for hours. Well, things will turn out alright in the end, probably. The only difficulty is that we’ve become specialists in spinning out the phrase ‘in the end’ to its absolute extremes.
“Well, would you look who’s stroppy?” Amiki observed, walking after her. “You’ve never been gracious about the truth, have you?”
Kaname just snorted, beginning to fill up her bucket. The others walked towards them.
“What’s up? Something happen to the infamous quicksilver tongue?” Amiki prodded her in the back. “Or have you actually recognised that I’m right? That would be a first, but staying silent’s just immature. Say that you were wrong out loud like a good girl.”
“Drop dead,” Kaname spat, turning and moving to talk away.
Amiki caught her by her blazer’s tails. “Oh?” She smirked unpleasantly. “So you really have become hopeless. What’s up, Kenjou? Are you so whipped and petulant whenever you two argue about the proper way to cut toenails that you’ll just sit and stew in your own angst?”
Kaname spun, glaring dangerously. “What do you know about it? You’re the one who pretends to know something about a situation that has literally nothing to do with you. That’s the only hopeless thing here. I presume you never heard of thinking, but it’s something people like me do when there’s actually something to think about. Besides, that’s a lot better than your idea of casual conversation, which makes insulting me an obsessive-compulsive pastime.”
Amiki laughed. “Much better. You’re back to making sweeping generalisations, empty rhetoric and arbitrary personal attacks to defend yourself in place of an actual coherent point. It’s good to see that it’s really you.”
“I won’t waste a proper argument on you in the same way that we don’t give dirty dogs good steak. Besides, I do need to think. I can keep up with your level of ‘wit’ without engaging my brain at all.”
“On the contrary, you’re the one who talks without thinking, whether it’s to me or anyone else.” Amiki began to fill a bucket. “That’s why you’re in this fix in the first place, right? You said something stupid and ill considered, and now you’re angsting. You’re right insofar as you can only think in the silence, but I’ve no idea what your mind does while you talk.”
“It ponders why I bother talking to such an obnoxious, irritating little strumpet who’s so dependent on her pseudo-girlfriend she doesn’t even merit the term mistress. That’s such a quandary that it beggars my mind, I can assure you.”
“Oh? And how about you? At least I have some dignity and a sense of place, as well as a family tradition.” Amiki stood, holding the first bucket. “But you manage to be Momomi’s bitch all by yourself, without even recognising that niggling little fact.”
“Why, you-” Kaname dropped her buckets. “You want to say that again?”
“Nah. I’ll build on that.” Amiki lowered her own and folded her arms cockily. “You’re a lonely girl who’s so cute on her girlfriend it’s unreal, only you’re too arrogant to recognise your own sincerity. So you always put pride first and end up making yourself unhappy because of your supposed dignity, not noticing that only makes you more undignified. That’s about it.”
“That’s enough, Amiki. Apologise.”
“Humph. That’s just how it is, whether she wants to hear it or not.” Amiki shrugged, closing her eyes. “But I’m sure I’m very sorry for the intense trauma I’ve caused her.” She opened her eyes and smirked at a gently smiling girl. “If it’s any consolation, Momomi is exactly the same. That’s why they make a pair.”
“Shut up!” Momomi said. “Isn’t it better than to sacrifice all your pride and independence for one person who doesn’t even bother to return the favour? That’s what you’ve done, right?”
Kaname snorted. “And a painful sight it makes, too. If you take that kind of attitude, you can only be used. You should look up give and take in a dictionary sometime.”
“That would be you three when you’re playing verbal chess,” Olesa observed sarcastically. “So that was rather akin to telling a player who’s just castled that there’s this awesome game involving a board, black and white pieces with different movement and even this nifty little move where the king and another can swap places in one turn.”
“I love how you say that in the same breath as a claim that you’re not involved,” Momomi noted. “I think that’s pretty final in itself, in terms of what it shows about your sincerity.”
“And, as ever, you slide neatly past the point made by simple rhetoric,” Amiki retorted. “You two really are a matched pair.”
“And you don’t like dramatic lines? That would be one, if it wasn’t for the fact that she completely missed the point in the first place.” Kaname glanced at her. “But hey, it ain’t my problem. If you want to walk around in a platonic courtly love that’s three hundred years late and one hundred percent unnecessary, you just do that.”
“As opposed to a relationship that’s featured your average man’s three divorces in the first month?” Amiki quipped. “Under those circumstances, traditionalism is a wonderful thing.”
“So’s passion. We know the meaning of the word, unlike people who prefer video games.”
“Passion? That’s not the point, either. We know another word, privacy. You should try it sometime.”
“You know Shion and think there’s anything like that in this world?” Momomi asked.
“Not exactly,” Amiki admitted. “That, we can agree on.”
They looked at each other, trying very hard not to laugh. Olesa smiled warmly. “That’s a little better. I thought you two had been kidnapped and replaced by very dull doubles.”
“That’s my line,” Kaname growled. “The Olesa I knew has been kidnapped and replaced by a carebear in human disguise. But I don’t care! You’ll never overcome the overwhelming cynicism of the human spirit!”
“The overwhelming angst, you mean.” Amiki chuckled. “And if angst could be converted to electricity, you two could solve the world energy crisis in one feel swoop.”
“The proof positive being that anyone who shows a little sanity and decent human concern is shot down instantly. I’ll go back to enjoying the sight of you two squirming.” Olesa closed her eyes. “That’s besides the point, though. I’ve no doubt that you two can process your bodily excrement and expel it through your mouths all day, but that will hardly clean the floor.”
“I like how you pretend to be ending the argument maturely while firing off the verbal equivalent of a 51mm at the guy sent to speak to your dove of peace.”
“I like how you draw attention to that by firing straight back at me, and undoubtedly you’ll like me returning the favour one more time.” Olesa snorted. “But before Kariya-sama comes to kill us, we really should get to work. That, too, should be something we can all agree on.”
“I hear that,” Kaname agreed. “So what’s the plan, commander? How about you fill up that bucket of yours?”
Momomi smiled. “And where’s Shion, anyway? Not here today?”
“She’s off doing something. Seeing the Lulim girl about costumes, perhaps.” Amiki frowned. “I’m having a hard time wondering whether that’s a euphemism for something…”
“Shion-senpai is very busy with the play now,” Olesa clarified. “Though she still had enough time to spare telling us about the matter with Kariya-sama. But it’s natural, in any instance, as she never needed to be here to begin with.”
“I suppose so…” Momomi replied quietly.
“But more to the point, we should arrange the work again,” Amiki said. “This time, we might actually finish it in a decent time.”
“We’ll do the Church. You two do the tower.” Olesa began to fill up her bucket, shoulders set.
“But… well…” Kaname glanced nervously at Momomi, who looked equally unnerved.
“So it’s settled. Don’t slack off, you two, I’ll check up on you two later!” Amiki frowned. “Oh, and don’t start doing weird things just because you’re alone again, too. This isa Church.”
And within a few moments Kaname was trooping towards the tower, trying to find something to say. “Well, that’s typical of those two, isn’t it? They’ll just decide things on their own and say anything they like. I, we have way too much patience.”
Momomi giggled slightly. “You’re right, I guess… it’s still hard to trust their motives. Well, I guess it’s to be expected. We don’t pander to their comfort zones either.”
“Of course not!” Kaname replied, glad of the answer. “But on that note, am I the only one who finds Amiki weird? In terms of all that, she’s ridiculously prudent with Olesa, but that doesn’t prevent her from implying what she likes about us.”
“That’s natural, isn’t it? She isn’t a very honest person.” Momomi chuckled suddenly. “Besides, when you look at it, they’ve been a pair since childhood, right?”
“Yeah, so?”
“Psychologically, I’m sure that makes them siblings. There’s a term for it, I think, though it escapes my mind… I read about it once.”
“You were researching incest?”
“Trust me,” Momomi replied seriously.
Kaname laughed. “Point taken. Stupid question. But it’s painfully obvious that isn’t just a sibling relationship, right?”
“That’s true. Well, I’m not an expert in those two, or psychology. Maybe they’re just taking the easiest route to legitimising their interchangeably close relationship.” Momomi smiled and shrugged. “Or perhaps life doesn’t follow neat rules. Or perhaps they like incest. I don’t know.”
“Well, if they aren’t actually related, it’s fine, isn’t it?” Kaname shook her head. “How can you have psychological incest anyway? I’m no expert, but you do your sister, or you don’t. No middle grounds there, like death and virginity.”
“Well, it’s all about people who together a lot at a certain critical age,” Momomi replied vaguely. “Supposedly everyone, not just relatives, can gain the sibling mental status, but if you don’t meet a sibling until after that critical age…”
“Cease and desist. I don’t want to know.” Kaname groaned. “Whatever. Who needs to think in such complicated ways? Amiki wants Olesa like cats want cracknip, she won’t admit it, but she’ll say we’re both addicted to everything under the sun. That’s all there is to know.”
“I guess so. This kind of conversation makes me wonder, though. I’m almost certain that Olesa and Amiki really do dock at that port, which makes four of us…” Momomi glanced at Kaname, lips curling in amusement. “Or should I say three and a half?”
“Say five. People like me are awesome, that’s all.”
“Five, then. And we know for sure that Serané and Kariya make that seven. But for all this school’s reputation, are there that many more we can confirm?”
“Koike,” Kaname replied bluntly. They stepped into the tower, closing the door after them.
Momomi turned away, nodding. “Oh, yes… she does work. So you know that story, too.”
“That story? Oh, right. Of course.” Kaname shook her head, deciding to be more careful in future. “However you look at it, she’s one of the club.”
Momomi nodded. “Eight, then. Is there anyone else?”
“Well, Amane, obviously-” Wait. Oh, crap. So much for being more careful…
“Amane?” Momomi frowned. “Do you really think so? She seems pretty straight to me.”
Straight like the school maze… but there’s no need to specify unnecessary detail. “I don’t know. Just a feeling.”
“Really? I get the opposite kind of feeling from her, to be honest. She fears people confessing to her so much, after all.”
“That’s true, of course,” Kaname said hastily. “But how about Shion? She’s dubious too.”
“Hmm. I wonder. I don’t think we can say either way, with her. She likes Isae a lot but we don’t have to take that for anything more than friendship. No, considering their age at that time, friendship is the most likely option…”
“So leave it on eight. But however I look at it, that’s eight for, two uncertain and none against.” Kaname frowned. “I swear they put something in the food.”
“The Etoiles are exceptions we barely know. You counted yourself twice, so that really only means us four and Koike. Still, the odds of that aren’t good, exactly… Koike should be an example of the most likely case… so is it an environmental factor-”
Kaname placed a hand on her head, smiling. “That’s enough, isn’t it?”
Momomi blinked and smiled sheepishly. “Overanalysing again, right?”
“Right. We know who we are. That’s all that matters, right?”
Momomi flushed and Kaname noticed their proximity. Instead of taking her hand away, though, she slid it downwards, touching Momomi’s cheek. “How did things go with Amane?”
“Terribly,” Momomi admitted quietly. “I was too reckless, and she was too stubborn.”
“Oh. I see. That’s too bad.”
“Yeah.” Momomi looked down, frowning sadly. “Say, Kaname, I’m-”
“Shut up.” Kaname lifted her face up and kissed her briefly. “Don’t say anything annoying like I’m sorry or whatever,” she said afterwards, eyes serious. “If you say it, I’ll have to say it, and that’d be inconvenient.”
Momomi chuckled. “You’re still looking after your own pride. But we made a lot out of nothing again, didn’t we? Sadly, that kind of alchemy is only possible with arguments, as opposed to, say, gold…”
“Who cares about that?” Kaname asked, looking away. “It won’t wash the floor.”
“Neither will you. You’re feeling lazy. But if it’s all settled, perhaps you’ll tell me something.”
“What is it?” Kaname asked cautiously.
“Where were you in the last part of lunchtime, Ka-na-me?”
“Me? Oh, nowhere in particular…” Kaname managed. “Why do you ask?”
“When I went back from Amane, you weren’t in our room.” Momomi pouted. “You made me fret the afternoon away, you know, because you didn’t even bother to leave a note. And then you think acting cool and forwards for once will avoid the greater indignity of an apology! After my suffering, you should apologise by serving me for a thousand years!”
“A thousand years? How long are you planning on living?” Kaname frowned in a faux seriousness. “The Phareli aren’t a bunch of vampires, right? It would explain your father.”
“I don’t think so, no. I intend to become a cyborg, that’s all. Or perhaps have clones with mind transfer arranged. What do you think?”
“I think you need to stop reading Olesa’s novels,” Kaname deadpanned.
“And you need to stop poaching her style,” Momomi said, leaning forwards and kissing her again. They held each other now, in a sort of relief and reconfirmation. “But remember, you aren’t forgiven just with this!”
“You either. Do you think I had a worry-free time of it? You drove me mad!”
“So we’re indebted to each other,” Momomi noted. “I guess we’ll have to pay off those debts by staying together, right?”
“Even if you say that, I think these debts are the kind that mount and grow forever,” Kaname murmured. “The compound interest of romance.”
“Now that’s love by the numbers.” Momomi hugged her again, giggling. “Sorry, I’m feeling silly…”
“Yeah. So what’s new?”
“What a cruel girl.” Momomi looked up. “Well, you kissing me is novel if not new. You should do that more often.”
Kaname looked down, disarmed by her casual enthusiasm. It’s hard to believe that emotion is for me…“I’ll bear that in mind.”
Momomi leaned in slightly, looking smug, then jumped away. “Shall we begin?”
“Sure.” Kaname picked up her mop and wetted it in the bucket, starting on the floor.
“But I’m…” Momomi sighed. “I don’t know.” She turned away, starting to work herself. “But every time Amane rebuffs me, I have such a frustrated feeling. And that’s happened too much, I know I’ve been persistent and too stupid for words, it’s annoyed her and the worst thing is it’s also upset you, because I sacrificed you for this… but.” She took a breath. “I don’t know exactly what I’m saying.”
“You still want to be Amane’s friend. That’s natural.”
“It’s frustrating, like I said. I still want to be someone who she can entrust her secrets too, and I know I’m not that to her. I can’t see what else I can do, so it’s annoying.” Momomi frowned. “And however I look at it, she’s such a painfully lonely girl. She’s surrounded by people but her mind doesn’t touch on them at all, none of them reach her… how would you put it… even surrounded by people, she’s alone. And I really can understand that melancholy feeling.”
“I know. As you said, I was the same. So were you.” Kaname chuckled. “But it’s a little odd, isn’t it? You’re not a nice person, are you? Your friendship was initially for very utilitarian reasons, to say the least. So why?”
“I don’t know. Now that I actually have friends, to know what the words mean, I can understand why people try to be kind, but she doesn’t want me to be kind. I… honestly, I don’t understand it.” Momomi glanced at her with vulnerable eyes. “Why would someone so lonely not respond? Even you did that, under worse circumstances between us and with more pride. I still can’t shake the feeling that I must be doing something wrong…”
“You’re doing nothing wrong,” Kaname replied firmly. “That’s not the problem. This is just the way Amane is.”
“Do you think so? It’s hard to think that anyone could enjoy a life like that.”
“I could manage like that. I wouldn’t like it, but I could manage.” Kaname closed her eyes and turned away. “You’re the same, aren’t you? Perhaps she prefers that kind of life. You may scare her, precisely because you represent an alternative. If she can pretend there’s no other options but being so alone, isn’t that easier on her? That’s what I’d try to do in her place.”
“I guess so. But still.”
“Kindness…” Kaname sighed. “You’ve become a very kind person.”
Momomi chuckled. “Don’t sound too disappointed by that. But the truth is, this isn’t exactly kindness. That’s something else that is worrying me.”
Kaname raised her eyebrows. “Oh?”
“It’s not just frustrating for her sake, but for my own. My pride. Like I said, I have this sense that it’s something I’m doing wrong, and that’s unbearable. There’s also the simple fact that they call her the ice prince. That untouchable, otherworldly aura, that completely aloof attitude… don’t you want to banish that, too? It’s a compulsive fascination of mine, I think. Does that upset you?”
“Well, I understand what you mean. I feel it as well, but differently from you. I just want to smash that image into a thousand glittering pieces.” Kaname stopped and looked back at her girlfriend, her free hand balling into a fist. “Or else let it remain perfect, forever. I don’t know. My feelings about her are every complicated.”
“I’d almost forgotten that,” Momomi admitted, rubbing the back of her head. “But she represents something, I don’t know. My limit.”
Kaname raised her eyebrows. “Your limit?”
“If I can move Amane from nowhere to the place I want her to be, become a trusted friend to her and take everything I want from her, it’s proof that I can do anything with anyone at this school.” Momomi shrugged. “That’s a simplification. Older students are different, and Amane is actually more vulnerable than most people, because she has no friends at all. But it’s her reputation that matters, as a symbol. If I can just take hold of her, then there’s nothing I can’t do.”
“You’re sounding more malicious and calculating than you have in a very long time.”
“I know.” Momomi sighed. “Does that worry you?”
“No. In fact, it’s a little reassuring.” Kaname smirked. “You should be a horrible person. That way you can always be with me.”
Momomi laughed, making things even easier. “You’re right, of course. I’ll bear that in mind. But it’s something I’ve noticed after this lunchtime. I had to ask… you know… why. Why I was going so far for Amane, even though she didn’t want it. And why I was even letting that affect us.”
“And that’s your limit? Or proof of the lack of it?”
“Exactly. She’s frustrating me, in a way. I’m so close, and yet so far. When she told me about herself, we came so close, but she didn’t cave and tell me everything. With Koike, it’s the same. And now whatever this is, it’s come up, and she’s withholding information while drifting from me. This might be as far as my skill goes.” Momomi groaned to herself. “Yeah, talking in that way, I’m definitely one of the damned. But that’s not the point. She still represents that to me. A war, if not quite lost, not yet won. And it feels that however hard I fight now, it’s all going to be vain in the end.”
Kaname was quiet for a few moment, then she began to laugh, slowly at first, and then faster. She shook her head at Momomi’s puzzled gaze, taking a deep breath. “Oh, dear. My god. Have you any idea how ironic this is?”
“What?” Momomi asked suspiciously, grounding her mop. “Hey, you shouldn’t laugh at me! It doesn’t matter how stupid I was being, it still isn’t nice to laugh at people!”
“So I’m a nice person now?”
“It’s the thought that counts! Even if you’re horrible with everyone else, you should be nice with me!”
Kaname chuckled. “I see. But that’s the point. Can’t you see it? The stupidest thing?”
“Right now, the stupidest thing is you,” Momomi muttered, pouting. “Come back when you’ve had a glass of water.”
“Forgive me, but this is too funny. But I’m sorry, Momomi.” She smiled wryly. “I never needed to worry at all about you and her, I can see that now.”
“What are you babbling about? Out with it already!”
“I’m just saying, your relationship with her is the same as mine with her.”
“What? So hated rivals and good friends are the same thing now?”
“In intention. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Inspired by her prominence, a challenge to be overcome, something that’s so close to the limits of one’s ability but just hauntingly beyond reach, something that provokes that kind of grasping, frustrated fury, someone who would prove how complete you are, how worthy you are… someone you can never overcome. That kind of person.” Kaname smirked. “Our aspirations and our methods are different. But it’s the same feeling. We can understand it now, right?”
“I’m still different from you,” Momomi protested. “I am her friend, and she does trust me quite a lot. I got somewhere.”
“So did I. The difference between us isn’t great, it’s just consistent. But that’s all it needs to be.” Kaname leaned on her mop. “Think about it. Provided Amane will always beat me… or provided Amane will never quite trust you with everything… we’re more exposed the more times we reach further. That’s what happened today, right? You overstretched yourself.”
“I guess so,” Momomi replied uncertainly. “But I’m a friend to her, and I want to reach her. It’s completely different from your aggressive rivalry.”
“Perhaps that’s true in some ways,” Kaname admitted. “But not in the most important ones. You said yourself, you never quite get there, do you? Do you want to feel the same thing as me? Always strung along by her proximity, always a step too short, never quite there?”
“I know, already!” Momomi protested weakly. “You don’t have to phrase everything in such… competitive terms.”
Kaname shrugged. “You talked this way first. It’s up to you.” She turned away, taking a quiet breath. What would you call this, Momomi? Irony? No, not exactly… this is living and dying by the same sword. I’m using your own methods on you, and you haven’t noticed, or if you have you haven’t called me on it. The fact that I can play you so easily just shows how far you've fallen, I’m not even that good at this game. The truth, though, is that you’re wide open right now. You’re doubting your feelings, your motives, your abilities and your personality…Amane makes you doubt everything. That’s what she does to you. I’m simply playing on that, and when people are in that frame of mind it’s easy. This is a ugly art, the one that you taught me. And how do I feel, for using it on you? She grimaced to herself. The word is ‘terrible’. You were the one who said, so long ago, that you’d never manipulate me. I don’t think I ever said the same thing to you. Even so, that’s just a trick of words to justify a huge breach of trust. But what, really, am I doing wrong? My words are all accurate and the opinion I’m giving is legitimate. These are things you have to think about. It’s also important for me to think about, to rationalise Momomi’s actions to myself. So why is this wrong? It’s a matter of thought. Just as Koike said the right thing with horrible intentions, I just said all that with some kind of petty malice. Even if the words are the same, the intention is completely different. I’m playing you, and trying to get you to agree with me, all to keep you from Amane. It’s a thoroughly selfish feeling. But, at heart, I don’t care. I’m me, not and never a good person. So I won’t tell you what I know, but I will tell you what I want you to hear, exploit your weakness and this situation and make you mine forever. That’s the kind of person I am.
Momomi was silent, probably wrapped in her own thoughts, when Kaname looked at her again. A decent amount of time had passed. “So, what are you going to do now?”
“I don’t know,” Momomi admitted.
“Give up?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s not like carrying on in the same way as before will give you any decent results…”
“I don’t know, so that’s enough, already!”
“Sorry.” Kaname closed her eyes for a few seconds. “But what do you really want, Momomi? To be a good friend to Amane for her sake? Or to be a good friend to Amane for your own?”
“I don’t know. Probably both. Why does it matter?”
“Intentions always matter.” Kaname shrugged. “But it’s clear to me. If it’s the former, you’ll have to retreat gracefully and just be a friend to her. If it’s the latter, though, it’s time to think laterally.”
“Think laterally?” Momomi frowned. “What are you babbling about now?”
“To take everything you want and triumph like that, is something important you said to Olesa long ago,” Kaname remarked. She glanced at her, crimson eyes serious. “Those words sound very touching. But actually, they’re chilling if you think about it. If you live to take everything, you’ll use any method for that end.”
“I know. But what else am I supposed to do right now? This isn’t a matter of anything but trust, the one thing you can’t gain by cheating.”
Kaname chuckled. “Is it really Momomi who said something that naïve?”
“Fine, you can gain trust by lying, though it caves in eventually.” Momomi folded her arms. “What do you suggest, though? However much I cheat, nothing will change.”
“If you say so,” Kaname replied diplomatically, turning away.
“Hey!”
“What?”
“You don’t have the right to go on like that and then clam up. Get on with it, already.” Momomi glared. “So what’s the latest genius plan from commander Kaname?”
Looks like I have her full attention. Kaname turned and shrugged. “Well, basically, that we play dirty. Talk to Koike, who knows her well, and Shion, and everyone else who might know anything useful. Dig up that ambiguous past, perhaps with your mother. As for the rest, back off while playing your word games. You’re good at that, I know.”
“Amazingly, Kaname, there are some things I can and will do without lying through my teeth,” Momomi said. “This is one of them. Besides, it’d be convenient for you like this, wouldn’t it?”
“Not really. You’d maintain this unhealthy fascination with Amane, rather than leaving her be like the bad wart she is. Or stabbing her to death with a paperknife. That’d work too.” Kaname chuckled. “I’d back you up if you wanted my help, though. No, I’ll back you up anyway. It’s plain that you’re dedicated, so who am I to say no? I’ll definitely support you.”
“Kaname…”
“That’s what I’ve done, right? Ever since we learned your family wanted to take you from here.” Kaname smiled, looking down at the floor and closing her eyes briefly. “I have your back, Momomi. Someone like you will always need it.”
“Now don’t get too cocky,” Momomi said righteously. “You need my support more often than the other way round. Always rushing in recklessly and getting caught up in something too big for you…”
“That’s my line. Trying to befriend Amane is like setting out to slay a dragon with a toothpick. But you’re the one who drags me into way too many things and clogs up my schedule like this!”
“As opposed to vegetating in your room? At least I have some drive!”
“And it’s pretty frightening.” Kaname flicked a strand of hair from her eyes. “But we’re a pair, and a good one. If we work together we’ll be able to do anything. Including that future where we shine brighter than the Etoiles… I haven’t changed my mind on that. Because if you’re with me, I won’t lose to anything!”
“You’re getting carried away again,” Momomi remarked, amused.
“And you’re being cruel and sarcastic. Let a girl have her moments of enthusiasm.”
“You’re normally the cruel and sarcastic, so forgive me if I don’t overflow with sympathy…”
Kaname smirked. “Better than Amane. She’d just go ‘ah’.”
“I’m amazed you even know that much about her…”
“Hey, I’ve been her crazy stalker far longer than you!”
“I’m not a stalker!”
“You just want to know everything about her life, right. Sorry, my bad.”
“The information isn’t the point. It’s a matter of trust!”
“You mean you want her to trust you, whether she actually trusts you or not. Well, it’s your problem…”
“Hey, what happened to the kind, supportive Kaname?”
“She’s used up her quota for the day. No, week. Get back to her.”
Kaname smiled and looked up at the ceiling, listening to Momomi rail at her.I wonder, how much of that was genuine and how much of that was the game? That’s also what Koike meant. You and I, and her…we’re all the same. But not in a happy way.
“Say, Momomi?”
Momomi paused in mid-flow. “Yeah, what?”
“I love you.”
Momomi flushed. “Yeah. I love you too, Kaname.”
“I know. That’s why I said it, you idiot.”
Momomi pouted. “So why say it, idiot? It’s not like I didn’t know.”
“Because.”
“Because what?”
“Because, isn’t it nice to say it?” Kaname smirked. “Just don’t get used to it.”
“That’s my line. You’re getting less lovable by the second, after all.”
“Oh? That’s too bad. By the way, we never did catch up in lunchtime, did we?”
“Catch up?” Momomi queried. “In that sense? This is a Church, you know.”
“I’m an atheist. This is just an old building to me. Good ambience.”
“I’ll take that as an order…”
Kaname kissed her, wrapping her arms round Momomi’s back, and silenced the guilt writhing in her chest. She was too happy to be guilty.
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