Astraea Lake (part 46 of 76)

a Strawberry Panic fanfiction by Lestaki

Back to Part 45 Untitled Document

Amane's relationship with Hikari is pure wish fantasy in structure; the dream that an ordinary girl can be noticed by a prince who cares for no one else, even though she only watches the prince from afar. In Kaname's words, though, life isn't that convenient.


“Hiya, guys. Sorry I’m late.”

Kaname snorted. “It’s like five minutes until the start of lessons, you know! Considering when we got up, that was one heck of a morning walk!”

“She has a point, you know.” Shion gave her a gentle smile. “We’d probably have left if Kenjou-kun didn’t insist on waiting.”

“Don’t mistake that for concern,” Kaname snapped. “I just wanted to be here in time to chew you out. It’s annoying, you know. Aren’t you the one who insisted that I should be a more social person? Whatever happened to that?”

“Well, I am sorry I missed you guys until now, but I thought you could cope with the trauma of my absence.”

“We managed, somehow,” Shion replied. “Not sure how, but we made it through the darkness… something like that?”

“You lay it on too thick.” Amiki shrugged. “But you’re certainly smug today, Kiyashiki. Any time you feel like getting over yourself, that’d be fine too.”

“And you’re still a sweet, well-mannered girl,” Momomi replied, lips quirking into a smile.

“And you’re still a hypocrite,” Kaname muttered.

“As it turned out, I wasn’t being hypocritical. I ended up talking to Amane.”

“You what?” Kaname snapped.

“I was rather surprised too,” Momomi replied blithely, trying not to sound too smug. Actually, this is way too enjoyable. “But I happened to be passing by and she invited me in to help her feed the horses.”

“Really?” Shion beamed in a way that screamed I’m in on it. “That’s pretty surprising… Amane is an extremely asocial person. She doesn’t ask for anything from anyone.”

“She’s not asocial.” Olesa glanced at Shion. “She’s just choosy.”

Shion smirked. “Choosy, is it? Refresh my memory… who is the girl that she occasionally tolerates the existence of in her year, who isn’t part of the stable group?”

“That would be me.”

“Shamelessly literal, aren’t you?” Momomi teased. “Well, I actually got to talk to her for a bit, which was surprising. Mostly about horses.”

“That’s to be expected of Amane-san.” Olesa closed her eyes. “She’s very… restful, in that respect.”

“So, what? What’s so impressive, though? You spent a quarter of an hour being bored to tears by the girl with brains made of horse manure.” Kaname snorted. “Great going, Momomi. Now you know not to do that again.”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Momomi smiled thoughtfully. “She… intrigues me.”

“What the hell’s intriguing about her? She’s a stuck-up, diffuse absent bitch!”

“Exactly. She’s… strange. I don’t really know anything about the real Amane, and that’s interesting.” Momomi closed her eyes. “I suspect even Shion doesn’t know much.”

“Well, I do know some things. But not much about the inner Amane.” Shion played with her hair and gave them innocent looks. “In short, she reminds me of you guys before I got to know you.”

Momomi blinked, while Kaname fumed. “Us?”

“Four people who had a persona but not a personality. It wasn’t until I got a lot closer to you that I came to understand who you really are.”

“So you understand us, now?” Amiki challenged. “That’s a pretty big claim, you know.”

“Well, of course.” Shion looked happy from the attention. “But you are all pretty simple people, at heart.”

Momomi frowned. Did she offer to help us just to get close enough to learn about our personalities? Surely not even she’s that single-minded, and we’re a few people amongst many. I get the impression she at least wants us to think that, though.

“As if you’re any different.” Kaname folded her arms. “Eat. Sleep. Watch detective shows. Stalk people. Sounds pretty simple to me.”

Shion just gave her a smug look. “There’s nothing wrong with being simple, you know. People are normally one thing then another… so people who are more consistently one thing are simple but unusual. And if the one thing they often are is unusual in itself, then they’re even more unique. So like all people, you’re complex and chaotic but with dominant traits.”

“Dominant traits?” Amiki demanded. “Intelligent, athletic, beautiful and cunning, right?”

“Principally, you’re all manipulative and conniving.” Shion rested her head on the table. “That makes you unusual and fascinating, like the villains of Shakespeare. You’re all steeped in the qualities of Iago and Edmund. Fun, no?”

“I don’t know what that means, but I’m getting annoyed.” Kaname rolled her eyes. “Everyone knows stalkers are such saints, after all…”

“Don’t take me too seriously,” Shion remarked, waving a hand. “I just have a penchant for the theatric, that’s all. You’re all perfectly normal…”

Amiki snorted.

Momomi had taken the chance to eat much of her breakfast, but now she looked up. “Knowing what you want, and aiming for it, that’s not so bad, is it? I’d rather be Iago and Edmund than Othello and Lear, definitely, because they were played for complete fools.”

“That’s true enough,” Shion agreed. “Supposedly, they were noble fools. The truth is that people like me span things one way or the other, and made them come out looking better than the villains. That’s not so hard to reverse, if you’re so inclined. It’s called the art of storytelling.”

“Don’t tempt me, or we’ll give you a horribly skewed version of the tragedies instead of Twelfth Night,” Momomi warned.

“That would be interesting,” Olesa agreed. “We should do that.”

“No for this play,” Shion warned. “If you can convince the student council, when you’re in the higher years, perhaps. That would make an interesting if controversial upper school play.”

“We’d have the wrong actors,” Momomi noted. “I’m trying to imagine Kariya as Iago, and it just doesn’t work.”

“Well, you’d just have to hope for Etoiles just like you, won’t you?” Shion said lightly.

“You’re right, though, it’s interesting.” Kaname was looking thoughtful again. “I mean, I don’t know those plays, but I know what you mean. Stories are told from a certain perspective, and however bad the character is the audience can generally at least empathise with that. Even if they hate it, they’ll understand, where the antagonists can be incomprehensible. Good writing helps, but in the end, it’s a matter of which side you’re standing on, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so…” Momomi agreed, giving her friend a strange look. She’s being weirdly delightful again.

“People are the same, I suppose. They’re all the main characters of their own lives, and they all empathise with themselves far more than others. That’s just the way the world is. Provided you’re working from where you’re standing, you can justify almost any action to yourself. Literature just reflects that.” Kaname shrugged. “Of course, literature’s heroes are selected by the assumed collective morality. But that’s just what it is, assumed, there’s no absolute rule.”

“So Kenjou-kun is a moral relativist,” Shion noted. “I’m not particularly surprised.”

“Another thing is that people respect competence, talent and success, even if it’s applied in immoral ways. That’s because they want to identify with success, so they’ll forgive a successful, effective villain even if he’s committing far more atrocities than an incompetent one.” Kaname closed her eyes. “Basically, people don’t care how they act provided they get rewarded for it. But it’s harder to derive benefits from immortality, without a lot of skill and determination, and above all the rejection of the collective morality. Simply put, society made it that way, for obvious reasons. But it’s not innate in people. If they could do it and get away with it, they would.”

Momomi laughed. “It sounds so terrible when you say that. You’re very cynical, Kaname.”

Kaname shrugged. “You know I’m right.”

“Well, the depths of Kenjou-kun’s dark, murky and morally impaired soul aside, breakfast is all but over,” Shion observed. “And we didn’t get to talk about all the interesting details of Momomi’s conversation with Amane. Lunch, perhaps?”

“Not lunch,” Kaname grunted. “I’m tutoring her for the scholarship exams starting today. We don’t have time for that.”

“You’re working all lunch?” Shion asked dubiously. “Surely you’ll at least stop to eat?”

“We can eat while working. Perhaps you guys don’t know because you have people to pay your way, but this exam isn’t exactly easy. Even for me, I have to work.” Kaname glared. “And for me, this is a critical time not unlike Momomi and her father; if I mess up, I’m kicked out, considering my behavioural record. I know I can’t expect the support Momomi got, thanks to you guys, but I’d like it if you kept out of my way.”

“You don’t have to be so confrontational, Kaname,” Momomi said gently. “I don’t know whether I even can help, but if I can I definitely will. At the very least, I will work at this.”

“Oh? Why bother?” Kaname scowled. “Can’t you just go to Amane instead? She’s smart, too. Then I’d be left in peace.”

“If I pass and you fail, attending this school is a lot emptier than it would be otherwise.” Momomi folded her arms. “That’s why I’ll learn from you. For myself, and for you. I can’t believe your work ethic will force you hard enough without me to coddle you, like always.”

“And even if being alone and working alone is cool, it’s not like that’s the case.” Shion folded her arms and smiled. “Really, Kenjou-kun, you shouldn’t say things without asking people first.”

“This is touching, and I’ll be cheering for Kenjou so I can keep beating the hell out of her in kendo, but… we’d better go.” Amiki stood up with Olesa. “We’re going to be late for lessons, as it is.”

“Oh, we have a good excuse. Kaname and Momomi watching… I’m surprised it’s not a school sport.” Shion sighed theatrically, brushing herself off. “Well, genius is never recognised in its own lifetime.”

“Don’t make us sound like birds or a painting,” Kaname warned. “That’s just too weird, even for you.”

Momomi said her goodbyes then went to her first lesson, History. I should actually pay attention this morning, between the exams and my own determination to become an outstanding student. But that doesn’t leave me with any time to think…I guess I’ll just have to get all that over with now. She smiled. Principally, this is easier than I thought. Kaname was hopping mad just because I snatched five minutes with Amane in the morning, talking about nothing. That’s definitely because Amane is her rival, rather than because it’s me doing the talking to her, but still, it’s definitely a start. And now I’ve got a compound goal, to crack Amane and to annoy Kaname as much as humanely possible, so I’m feeling pretty good again. It’s just like I predicted this morning, the goal doesn’t matter. I don’t think there’s any romantic feelings in Kaname for jealousy to drag out. But I don’t care about that any more, the process itself is challenging and fun. In a way, it’s an exorcism. Playing Kaname to make her react requires my concentration, and it makes me forget how beautiful and compelling she is to be around. It makes me guilty to use her like that, which is unusual in itself, normally I’ll use anyone on principle. But Kaname’s always been different, I can accept that, and I’ll accept the guilt. She’ll definitely prefer it when I’ve got these dangerous thoughts out of my head, so I’ll forgive myself for hurting her now. She touched her cheek, wondering why she was frowning in such a melancholy way. That’s right, isn’t it? It would better for everyone if I didn’t like Kaname. I should say that even if, no, because it pains me to do so. I just wish I knew why in my heart I’m so against making these feelings disappear, if they bother me so much…

And in the end, she didn’t pay much attention in lessons after all. She got a shock, though, when she walked out of the English classroom after break and found Kaname leaning against the wall.

Kaname glanced at her, crimson eyes unreadable. “Yo.”

“Heya.” Momomi frowned. “How did you get here so fast?”

“Said I wanted to go to the toilet just for break, then whined until she let me go.” Kaname smirked and pushed herself off the wall, walking after Momomi. “Imai-sensei is way too soft.”

Momomi gave her a cunning look. “Okay, so why did you get here so fast?”

“Because I could. Isn’t that reason enough? Besides that, it was even more worth it when you saw the look on your face. That was too funny.”

“Well, don’t blame me,” Momomi retorted. “I was just worried about the fact that you were going all Shion on me. Heck, you still are.”

“It’s fine if it’s just once, isn’t it? You can be just as bad, can’t you?” Kaname stuck her hands in her pockets. “How were your lessons?”

“I still have concentration problems.” Momomi sighed. “I guess you can’t magically adopt good study habits after a good half-year of laziness.”

“Ha. Well, I’ll cure you of that. At cramming, I’m pre-eminent. I can adopt cram psychology months in advance of a test if I really have to.”

“That sounds really unhealthy.”

“Well, yeah, it is.” Kaname shrugged. “But I’ve never burned out before a test yet.”

“Yet?” Momomi frowned. “Come to that, what about after?”

“I don’t talk about after. It’s embarrassing.” Kaname looked sidelong at Momomi and sniggered. “Don’t look so distressed. I’m screwing with you. It’s not like I’d ever work that hard for anything, even the scholarship exams.”

“You’re playful all of a sudden,” Momomi teased. “Are you that happy to see me?”

“Oh, it’s just breaktime. I like breaktime.”

“Really? Well, I thought I’d go and see Amane again.” Momomi narrowed her eyes, watching for a reaction. “Do you want to come with me?”

Kaname glanced at her, then closed her eyes. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

Momomi blinked. “Ah… so admit it, even you’re curious about what she’s really like.”

“That’s not it.” Kaname grinned. “You’ll see when you get there.”

Momomi pouted at her then turned away and raised her nose haughtily. Well, if you want to play it like that, I’ll play.

“I know what you’re doing, by the way.”

Momomi glanced at her friend as they walked over the grass. “Oh?”

“Associating with Amane to get back at me. It’s pretty obvious, really, and a little cute too.”

Momomi smiled, undeterred. “Looks like I’m not the only one who uses lessons to do all their thinking.”

“Of course.” Kaname smiled, apparently pleased with herself. “I always make the most efficient use of my time.”

“Like lounging around doing nothing, for example? Very efficient.” Momomi closed her eyes for a moment, twisting a strand of brown hair in one hand. “In any case, you’re right in that I had intended that from the start. But now I’ve changed my mind.”

“Oh? You’re going to stop playing your little game?”

“Nope. I haven’t talked to her for very long, but Amane is interesting enough in her own right. Getting through to the year’s ice prince… that’s a great challenge, isn’t it?” Momomi brushed her hair against her cheek. “I’m going to give it my best shot.”

Kaname glared at the trees. “Still talking like that? I’ve no idea why you think she’s worth the energy. It’s just boring, isn’t it?”

“You shouldn’t say that, Kaname, because a lot of people probably think that about you. But you’re a fascinating person underneath.” Momomi smiled innocently, trying to look like Shion. “Amane’s similar, like Shion said, but especially to you. And just like you, there was enough animation even in her shell for me to bother digging deeper.”

Kaname snorted. “You’re way too patient. But Amane’s different. I was alone and said that I wanted to be alone. Amane’s the opposite, someone who is popular, still choosing to be alone. She’s made a real choice, so she’s not interested in your interest. That’s why we’re not the same.”

“You’re right, of course,” Momomi agreed. “I’ll just have to work hard, then, won’t I?”

“Oh, really?”

They arrived at the paddock, and Momomi blinked several times before the scene registered in her mind. There was already a dozen students there, mostly Spican lower-schoolers, leaning casually on the fences and watching Amane riding. There were probably more coming, a lot more. A huge Amane fanclub. No, not exactly a fanclub. Even though they’re so close, they don’t interact with her at all. This is something like an Amane Watching Club, just a chance to stare at her and talk amongst themselves. What do they talk about? How wonderful she is? Or about lessons and homework and completely normal things, but they just happen to hang out in her less than secure abode? That’s not exactly the problem here, though. This is a problem, and all.

“And that’s another difference between us,” Kaname said, her voice containing just a trace of smugness. “I know all about that.”

“So she has a few fans. It’s not like I didn’t know that.” Momomi drew herself up. “What of it?”

“When you befriended me, you were unopposed. This time, you have competition, a lot of it, and all of it means Amane isn’t kindly disposed to strangers.” Kaname shrugged. “If you really think she’s the same as me, you’re an idiot.”

“You’re not really very constructive, are you?” Momomi asked irritably. What the hell is her problem? Is she that jealous of Amane?

“Well, it’s obvious, isn’t it? What’s there to distinguish you from all of those, in her eyes?” Kaname pointed. “Look at them all leaning on the fence, so distant from her. You’re worse than that to her.” She closed her eyes and shook her head. “You can do what you like, but you’ll be wasting your time. Don’t get too arrogant.”

Momomi gritted her teeth. “Is that a challenge?”

“What if it is?”

“If it is, you’re an idiot, because you’re wrong.” Momomi glared at her friend. “We’re not the same at all, not to you, not Amane, not to anyone.”

Kaname glanced at her with calculated disinterest. “Really?”

“Really.” Momomi pulled her jacket off and thrust it at her friend. “Take this.”

Kaname grabbed it automatically, frowning. “What now?”

Momomi loosened her necktie, pulling it free. “I’m not the same as them. Compared to them, I’m an outstanding person.” She wrapped the necktie round her hair, drawing it back into a ponytail. “I’ve sat in a room with you for so long I’d almost forgotten that.” She pulled the improvised ribbon tight. “But I remember now. When it comes to it, I’m different from them. And different from you.”

Momomi stormed forwards. She didn’t know how Kaname was reacting and she didn’t much care. Right now, she was just annoyed beyond belief. So I can’t do it, can I? So I’m not good enough, is it? Screw that. I don’t back down. She closed her eyes for a moment, collecting herself as she walked straight past the various fangirls. You taught me, Luigia. The world’s a stage, someone said that once. And acting is all about poise. Even if I never enjoyed it, I have it; the ballroom poise, the confidence that’s nothing to do with personal quality and everything to do with self-belief. Arrogance…in the right hands, that’s useful. She pushed open the stable doors and looked around, eyes narrowing when she saw a spare riding jacket hanging on a hook. She took it and shrugged it on as if it was the most natural thing in the world, doing up the buttons and striding up the rows of horses. She stared at the one called Sol, then opened the door and stepped through, grabbing the saddle from the side and beginning to strap it to the horse. It all came back- she hadn’t forgotten anything. Every strap secured, she patted Sol on the nose then walked round and mounted, struggling a little with the height.

“What are you doing? That’s Ohtori-san’s horse!”

Momomi turned her head slowly to regard the other rider in the stable. A fourth year, most likely. You’re slow. You’re timid. You’re quiet. And shy people always want things to be easy, not right. “What does it look like I’m doing?” She glanced down at her. “This horse needs exercise. Help me take her out.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about my riding, I’m more than good enough for this.” Momomi clicked her tongue. “Hurry up, girl. Amane-kun won’t wait forever, you know.” That’s right. It’s a lot easier to lead her out first, then mount. But I can’t do that now, it would kill the effect. I know exactly what I’m doing.

“Ri-right.” And the girl led Sol out of the stable and onto the paddock. It was that simple, after all.

Momomi fought hard not to smirk, keeping her nose held high. The reigns were held lightly in her fingers, the wind blew lightly through her hair, and the fangirls were wondering who she was and what the hell she was doing there. But that didn’t matter. Momomi locked eyes with the only important one. “Ohtori-san! I hope you don’t mind if I join you.”

“Phareli-san…” And, for a moment, Momomi saw something very rare. A surprised Amane. The sight made her face flush with triumph. “That’s Sol, isn’t it?”

“I considered taking another, but I like this one best,” Momomi explained, feeling exhilarated. The horse was obedient beneath her and she trotted forwards until she was close to Amane, walking in the same direction. “She really is magnificent, isn’t she?”

Amane managed a frown. “I’d appreciate it if you asked me first…”

Momomi made a sweeping gesture with her hand, managing to embrace everyone watching them. “And have them ask you as well? Wouldn’t that be a bother for you?”

“Ah… well, I’m not sure why you’re here-”

“I thought I’d do you a favour,” Momomi replied. “You work very hard, Amane-san. Three horses yourself, and caring for the others as well… to exercise them properly, that must be a lot of work for you, yes?”

“I have people to help with that…”

“Then I’m one of them, right?” Momomi smiled. “But I’m indebted to you, Amane-san. I know I said I didn’t like riding, but it was a matter of curiosity to me all the same. Was it like I remembered? Now I know. It feels quite good actually, though I can only do the simple things.”

Amane paused for a moment, staring at her. Then she just said “ah” and turned away.

Momomi felt a flush of triumph hit her in the stomach and race upwards, running through her entire body. That’s right, Amane, you’re no different, are you? If it’s too hard to understand or too much bother to correct, just accept it with indifference. You’re not a forceful personality, you just create an illusion of superiority. It’s all too fragile, Amane, one just has to dare. She looked over the people watching with interest. “Do they bother you?”

Amane looked like she was wondering whether to reply. “Not as much as you are.”

Momomi laughed. “Good answer. But where’s the harm, Amane-san? I can ride a horse.”

“It’s a precedent, isn’t it? Even if it only looks like I’ve accepted you.” Amane frowned. “More than that, if everyone starts to do that-”

“So you’d better let it be known that I was invited,” Momomi pointed out. “If you don’t, that’s even more troublesome, right?”

“Is that blackmail?”

“That’s good advice. I don’t really care either way.” Momomi shrugged.

“Then why are you here?”

“Because Kaname said I couldn’t be here.” Momomi smiled. “She’s been bothering me, so I’m bothering her. You’re useful for that.”

“Ah.”

Momomi glanced at the clouds. “It works, too. She’s very aggressive, she says she has no idea why I’d want to spent time with a dull girl like you.”

Amane didn’t reply to that, falling into her habitual calm as she rode about the paddock.

“I’m inclined to agree with her, actually.” Momomi gave the other rider a thoughtful glance. “You’re not a very good conversationalist, Amane-san. Weren’t you taught at polite dinner parties, like I was?”

“Here, there’s no point.”

“I suppose so, but that’s a matter of curiosity to me in itself. Ignoring me, I can understand. But why don’t you talk to anyone?”

“It’s tiring.” Amane glanced at her briefly. “You’re the same.”

“Perhaps, but I can talk if I want to. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here.” Momomi touched her own cheek thoughtfully. “Well, that attitude would explain why you like talking to Olesa.”

“Ah. She told you to talk to me, didn’t you?”

“Perhaps.” Momomi smiled. “I suspect she told you to talk to me. Am I wrong?”

“No.”

“She’s a calculating girl, is she not? I’m surprised you enjoy her company.”

“She is… simple, to me at least. I don’t really know her, I just talk to her. But it’s less tiring to talk to her.”

“I see.” Momomi frowned. Longer than before. “Why is she easy to talk to?”

“Because she only wants to talk to me.”

Momomi giggled. “I see. You know, I always thought that introverts were supposed to pair with extroverts.”

“And for that, you’re an extrovert now.”

Amane still wasn’t looking at her, and her tone remained neutral, but it was something. “Do you mind?”

“It’s troublesome.”

“But it would be even more troublesome to chase me away, am I right?” Momomi decided to take a chance. “Well, I’m not an unkind person. If I’m annoying you, I’ll go back.”

Amane frowned, then shrugged.

“Silence is tacit consent, you know.” Momomi frowned. “As I’ve said to Kaname, several times before…”

Amane’s eyes were far away, while her fingers tapped the saddle thoughtfully. “With her, you’re an extrovert.”

“Sorry?”

“And to ride out here too, that’s an extrovert’s action. But you have few friends.”

Momomi winced, surprised by the comment. “You don’t say that kind of thing in polite conversation, you know.”

“Ah.” Amane frowned. “You’re very strange.”

Momomi laughed at that, long and hard. Amane ignored her.

Eventually, Momomi managed to compose herself. “I’m sorry… but it’s odd to hear, coming from you. Aren’t you a little strange too?”

“Ah.”

Momomi looked around. “That’s why I was thinking, and I noticed something.” She paused for a few moments, glancing at the fangirls. “This paddock… it’s a cage. You’re here, on display, but they can’t come in. And they’re quite separate from you. I’m going to sound like Kaname, but that’s your life, in a way. I know, because I’m like you in some ways. Family is the name of your god and your fate is to marry who they order, and in the meantime you must be beautiful and inactive. No, you can be active, you can ride horses. But you can’t be free. It must be limiting for the horses, and for you, to be stuck in this tiny space. It really is a cage, in a way…”

“A bird cage.”

Momomi blinked. “Sorry?”

“I’ve thought about these things.” Amane rode on without saying anything else.

“Why a bird, in particular?”

“Birds are beautiful, elegant, kept things.”

Momomi laughed. “You’re right, I suppose. I can’t be the first person to think such things.”

“Them.” Amane nodded at the crowds. “They’re the same, for the most part. So I don’t understand.”

“You don’t understand?”

“Why would caged birds watch other caged birds?”

“I don’t know.” Momomi glanced at her. “Do you have any theories?”

“Not really.” Amane frowned. “Perhaps they look up to me, because I’m excellent at fulfilling my function…”

“Dowdy caged birds like to look at beautiful caged birds, is that it?” Momomi sighed. “You’re quite the egotist, aren’t you?”

“You’re the one who used those words.”

Momomi shrugged. “So I did. Well, truthfully, there’s a value in honesty. You are all those things, to them at least.”

“The Etoiles are the same.”

“Not really.”

“Perhaps not as people, but does that matter?” Amane closed her eyes. “Again, a cage, or a frame. A picture-frame. In people’s eyes, the things they represent are still caged qualities.”

Momomi frowned. “You’re surprisingly cynical, aren’t you?”

“Ah.”

Momomi cast about for something else to talk about. She finds it tiring to talk to people…well, it takes a lot of energy to talk to her. This is worse than Kaname when we barely knew each other. “Does it worry you? Being caged, so to speak?”

“Not particularly.”

“Oh. So… why are you so melancholy when you talk about it?”

Amane shrugged. “Even if I say I’m unfortunate, it’s a lie. I’m a fortunate person. I shouldn’t complain.”

“Just because you were born into that family, that doesn’t mean you have to follow all their orders,” Momomi said reproachfully. “I was in the same position as you, but I managed to stay at this school, even though they wanted to take me back. That was hard and tiring, but I did it, and I feel better for it.”

“Why?”

Momomi blinked. “Why? Well, because that makes me my own person-”

“Why did you resist?”

“Oh, right.” Momomi frowned. “You should be more specific when you ask a question. Well, I enjoy it here-”

“Why?”

“Why wouldn’t I? It’s interesting, and I’ve always liked Japan.”

“Why you? When you’re lazy as you are. Like me.”

“Well, I had friends, didn’t I? I didn’t want to leave them behind. That happened to Shion, you know, she had this girl called Isae-”

“Olesa told me.”

“Oh. Well, that’s a good example, isn’t it?”

“No. She told me, she only became your friend well after you’d dragged you into helping her.” Amane patted Starbright’s flank idly. “And that before that, there was only Kenjou.”

“Well, I suppose, but-”

“Was it Kenjou?”

Momomi rubbed the back of her head awkwardly, surprised at the interrogation. “It was a lot of reasons, okay? But Kaname was one of them, I guess so.”

Amane was silent for a moment, then she spoke again. “Why her?”

“What’s with all the questions?”

“I don’t understand, that’s all.” Amane closed her eyes. “Kenjou is violent, bad-tempered, ill-mannered, socially awkward and extremely difficult to deal with. She isn’t like us.”

“Shut up.”

“Am I wrong?”

Momomi snorted. “Not exactly. But that doesn’t mean I’ll let you say those things.”

“Why?”

“She’s different from you, she’s had a much harder life-”

“Does that make my words any less true?”

“You can’t just judge someone without looking at where they came from. It’s an arrogant simplification. For Kaname-”

“So?” Amane closed her eyes. “Even if you can understand why she’s like that, why would you want to spend time with her? Isn’t she just a low person?”

“Well, you wouldn’t understand, because you’ve never bothered to understand anyone!” Momomi said aggressively. “So what if she’s like that? That’s just her being defensive. She has a lot of wonderful characteristics, as well.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really!” Momomi scowled. “She’s tough, loyal, dependable, clever, witty, and strong. All those things and more. Even though she’s had a hard life, even though she was more caged than we ever were, she broke out and she lives her own life. She can be stubborn and annoying, but she’s proud and principled and honourable! She’s not low at all, she’s far more noble than you.”

“Ah.” Amane looked away indifferently.

“Don’t you dare ignore me! What the hell do you know? This is why she hates you! You have none of her problems, you have everything she wants, but you don’t even care!”

“Is that my fault?”

“Perhaps it isn’t, but you can’t insult her or call her a low person! That’s just unforgivably arrogant.” Momomi ground her teeth. “She’s right, too. This is why you don’t befriend anyone. You’re just a stuck-up, aristocratic idiot with a superiority complex!”

Amane closed her eyes. “No doubt about it.”

Momomi choked back the next insult she was going to throw. Did she just…agree with me when I said that? Is she really so indifferent that she doesn’t even care what I say?

“You’re still in love with Kenjou.”

Momomi blushed. “Wh… what? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I was worried. It would be difficult if you were really coming after me.”

“Hey, defending her just makes me a decent friend! Love doesn’t come into that! More to the point, do you have to sue such a dramatic word? What do you know about it?”

“Ah.” Amane checked her watch. “We should go back to the stables and brush them down. There’s only two minutes left until the end of break.”

Momomi nodded, feeling shaken. “Right.” That… was that all planned out? Baiting me by insulting Kaname until I snapped? No, more than that, she’d taken control of the conversation long before then, and she was always leading me to this. Was it just a coincidence that we ended up like this, or what? If I wanted to prove, I’d do it that way as well, but Amane shouldn’t be the same as me. On the other hand, what do I know about her? Perhaps she really was leading me all along, even if she sounds slow she’s very smart and she is a confident person. But what would the point be? Just to confirm my feelings? And she’s so firm about it, as well, firmer than I am! Isn’t that just inappropriate? But-

“Is there a problem?”

“No,” Momomi replied automatically. “Not at all.”

Amane turned away. “Kenjou looks troubled.”

Momomi glanced at Kaname. It was hard to tell over the distance, but she looked angry. Damn, I’d love to talk about this to her so I can hear her opinion, but I can’t, can I? Not without sounding like I’m gloating… wait, isn’t that the idea in the first place?

Amane dismounted and led Starbright into the stable. “For someone who’s rusty, you’re a surprisingly able horsewoman, Phareli-san. You may borrow Sol at your leisure, if you want to.”

“Ah… thanks…” Momomi replied uncertainly. “Why?”

“You’re safe. Perez-san is the same.” Amane offered her hand, red eyes looking up at Momomi’s flustered face. “If it isn’t too annoying, it doesn’t bother me.”

Momomi took her hand hesitantly, sliding out of the saddle and landing awkwardly, before hurriedly snatching her arm back. “Thank you, Amane-san.” She managed a smile. “You’re surprisingly forwards, actually.”

“That’s my line.” Amane shrugged off her riding jacket and swapped it for her white Spica uniform. “You should get your own. They aren’t expensive.”

“I will.” Momomi hung her borrowed coat up and pulled the necktie out of her hair. She shook her long brown tresses out, before beginning to redo the tie. “Just tell me one thing, Amane-san.”

“Ah?”

“What do you want from me?”

Amane paused for a moment. “This is not a zero-sum situation.” Then she walked away, leaving Momomi to watch and wonder.

Onwards to Part 47


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