Well, it's up. This is one of those chapters where I started out with a plan in my head, got lost, shredded it and followed the characters to what they quietly insisted was their destination. Hopefully they know best.
“Heya.”
“Hi,” Momomi returned. She fought with herself for a moment, then gave up. “You’re a little late, you know.”
“Well, forgive me,” Kaname said. “I was held back so we could have a special discussion on my History essay.”
“Oh, sweet irony.” They were silent for a few moments, then she spoke again. “So, what are you having? The same old?”
“That’s right. Everything else is way too expensive for me to accept.”
“Umeboshi and all?”
“Umeboshi and all. I can poison you with it.”
“Such a bitter personality. Well, I really should have treated you back when my finances were more secure. As it is, I’ll probably be worse off than you are within a week.”
“That’ll be a culture shock for you,” Kaname smirked.
“Well, I’ve always been dependant on my father for money,” Momomi said. “Something I have been acutely aware of, thank you very much. I’ve tried to be frugal in my spending habits so as to not leave me morally impoverished by that dependence.”
“So you do have a code, of a sort. I’m amazed you bother with such trivial things, though. Money is money. Hypocrisy is a nonsense concern compared with it.”
“Well, would you feel too good mooching freely off a father you hated?”
“I’d feel really good,” Kaname said, looking upwards. “I’d be taking his money, after all.”
“Well, I guess that does make sense,” Momomi conceded. “But the point is that… I guess I never did want to be one of your stereotyped dependants. The downside to family money is it comes alongside family duties. Taking it up is just like signing away my freedom, especially as I’m a second child.”
“I’m somewhat amused that you’d take poverty over freedom.”
“Well, it’s not like I want to be poor.” Momomi shrugged. “But I do want to be able to feel that I stand on my own two feet. Is that really very alien?”
“Not really, I suppose,” Kaname replied. “I can’t say I have particularly strong feelings either way.”
“That’s to be expected of you,” Momomi said. “But… it’s hard, sometimes, you know?” She sighed. “I guess fundamentally changing yourself isn’t easy, especially for thirteen year-olds.”
“Don’t take yourself so seriously. Honestly, you’re way too young to go on guilt trips.”
“I know, but I don’t want to be a child, all the same. I never have done. Children are so powerless... I don’t like that sensation. It’s not something I can easily accept.”
“My, my” Kaname said. “Don’t say strange things at this time of day. This isn’t an appropriate environment, you know.”
“I guess so.” Momomi sighed wistfully. “Just thinking out loud, really.”
“Well, you can talk about it some other time.”
“How about you?” Momomi asked. But this time the phrase was friendly, not a barb. Her eyes were playful again. “Aren’t you someone who wages a war on her age? And her gender, come to that. You would have been much happier as a man, I think.”
Kaname sniffed. “However you look at it, men in this world have more power and less responsibility. Only an idiot would want to be a woman.”
“Ah, but can’t we control man? I’m given to understand that’s very easy, with the right frame of mind. Wait for when I’m a beautiful lady.” Momomi smiled. “It’s a natural thing for those with psychological advantages to have true power. Strength and endurance, it’s all irrelevant. It’s because you are simple minded that you’re afraid of that kind of thing.”
“You really do think like that, don’t you. It’s all about manipulation, psychological control.”
“Pretty much,” Momomi admitted. “But we’re pretty similar in that neither of us wants to be powerless. We just differ on our methods, that’s all.”
“I suppose so. But I find your way to be far more sinister.”
“That’s good. I want a lot of people to have uncertainty when they’re around me.”
“Excuse me, can I help you?”
“Eh? Oh, right…” Momomi remembered herself. “The usual, please. And for her, too.”
She walked back to their habitual table in a corner, half in the shadow of a large potted plant. They were quiet for a moment and lost in thought again. She felt slightly foolish and slightly annoyed and slightly happy, which was very confusing. I was supposed to be angry with Kaname, but it’s sort of hard to stay angry with her for long. We have too much in common for that. Playing with her and arguing with her are far too fun for that. I should be careful, though. Talking freely with Kaname everywhere, it could be quite compromising at times. Perhaps, for once, she’s being the pragmatist, reminding me of that. But being so free with her is fun; it’s not something I’d want to lose on account of all the idiots around me. On the other hand, for all her posture, Kaname’s far easier to embarrass than I am. That’s an endearing thing, but it could get a little frustrating at times.
“Hey. You there?”
Momomi smiled again, resting her chin on her right hand. “I’m here, don’t worry,” she said. “I was just thinking about you.”
“That’s too weird a thing to do when I’m right in front of you,” Kaname murmured.
“Well, you can be difficult in conversation,” Momomi replied. “So, what to do with your umeboshi?”
“It’s yours again.” Kaname slid her bento across the table.
“So you know how to pass food properly now,” Momomi said, extracting the fruit with her chopsticks. She popped it into her mouth, chewing thoughtfully. “You know, I’m almost disappointed. I like it when you fluster.”
“Are you sure you didn’t like it when Shion called it flirting?” Kaname asked. “You’re all ridiculous.”
“Hmm,” Momomi said. “Perhaps.”
She leaned forwards, moving deftly and stealing a piece of Kaname’s meat. “Got you,” she said, eating it.
“What was that for?” Kaname said, annoyed. “The meat’s one of my favourite parts.”
“Retaliation. Never call Momomi Kiyashiki ridiculous while she has chopsticks in hand.”
“Oh? Aren’t you the European?” Kaname narrowed her eyes, a smile quirking her lips. “Don’t underestimate my skill. Against a native, you stand no chance.”
“Well, before I’ll believe that, you’ll have to show me,” Momomi replied. “At home, you probably just ate with your hands anyway.”
“Fighting words, eh?”
They stared at each other for a few moments, neither party moving. Then Kaname lunged, deftly snatching from of Momomi’s meat and retreating. The other girl retaliated but she moved her hand, covering Momomi’s target area as she bit into the meat with a satisfied expression. “So, why not?”
Momomi adjusted the angel of her chopsticks, darting down again. Kaname moved to block her with her hand, but she pressed down hard, sticking the sticks between her friend’s finger and thumb. “I’m sorry,” the brown-haired one said lightly. “My hand slipped, you see.”
“Your brinkshmanship is starting to annoy me,” Kaname said, pulling her sore hand back and raising her chopsticks again.
They eyed each other up again, then moved at once. Both froze, chopsticks touching choice morsels in each other’s boxes.
“Interesting,” Momomi said, trying to keep a straight face. “You can match my speed.”
“I was about to say the same thing,” Kaname replied. “But now we appear to be at a stalemate.”
Momomi’s lips curled into a thin, calculating smile. “I love a challenge. Very well. One more time?”
“One more time,” Kaname agreed, trying not to laugh.
They retreated, eyes still locked. Momomi dipped her chopsticks downwards, picking up some rice and eating it delicately. Kaname just watched her with unbroken vigilance. A second later, the brown haired girl moved again, chopsticks flashing out.
Kaname closed hers round the meat before she could get it, sliding it upwards and holding it tauntingly. “Too slow.” She slipped it casually into her mouth, chewing with relish.
Momomi laughed, pulling her hand away. Then in an instant she stabbed forwards again. Kaname moved to intercept, but she brought her left hand round in one smooth motion, snatching the chopsticks and slicing into an egg. “Too slow,” she imitated, eating her prize.
Kaname frowned with an overly serious expression. “I guess I underestimated you. That wasn’t bad.”
“Don’t be too surprised. I may not be as fit as you are, but I have an artist’s fingers. My hand to eye co-ordination is second to none.”
“Let’s test that theory against the one with practical skills. Don’t be too proud of a simple party trick.”
“Actually, holding your chopsticks in your left hand is bad manners,” Momomi said, changing hands again. “It’s not something I’m proud of. But in times like this… the important thing is results.”
“You’re right.” Kaname snorted, losing the war to keep a straight face. “But you should be careful. I’m fond of eggs, leave them alone.”
“Is that so? Well, if you want eggs, I suggest you come and take them.”
“Is that an invitation to open war?” Kaname asked.
“Nothing so dramatic…” Momomi’s smile widened. “You can stop things here. On the other hand, if you’d prefer to poach my food again, I can’t be held responsible for the consequences.”
“I can’t say I’m too bothered, but egg is egg,” Kaname said. “It’s the principle of the thing. I’ll definitely make you regret ever beginning this game.”
“Fighting words, eh?”
They moved together, catching a piece of meat and an egg respectively. But this time they didn’t hesitate, grabbing their prizes and returning them to their mouths as fast as possible. They chewed furiously and moved quickly, always favouring their opponent’s bento, taking from their own only to deny the other a precious morsel. Momomi felt her cheeks distend slightly. She swallowed then stopped, almost choking. Kaname laughed at the sight, a laugh that quickly became a hacking cough as she was forced to clear her own throat. And they kept their guards up, scrutinising the slightest motion, every flicker of their eyes. They also ate far faster than was healthy. However, with such constant vigilance, patterns definitely emerged. It became easy to see.
“I… see,” Momomi mumbled through a mouthful of egg. “Could it be… Kaname doesn’t… like pickles?”
“Perhaps,” Kaname muttered, swallowing. “But I do think-” she swallowed a piece of meat, “that Momomi… has no taste for fuh… for fish.” She licked her lips, chopsticks coming to rest.
They stared at each other for a few moments, aware without words of the significance of this development. With meat and egg all but depleted, everything would come down to their ability to steal each other’s favourite foods. Whoever could finish that first would be able to eat the rest freely. Oh, and a lot of rice. It would be a complete victory. Of course, it would mean eating the things they hated most. But with the decisiveness in each other’s eyes, both knew that was necessary.
Momomi moved first, grabbing a piece of fish and transferring it to her mouth just as Kaname grabbed one of her hated pickles. She winced at the taste, swallowing quickly. Looking at the unpleasant expression on Kaname’s face, it was totally worth it. She stabbed out again, frowning as Kaname subtly shifted her bento. She turned, grabbing another piece, but the second lost had removed her initial advantage. Moving faster, she stuffed two more morsels into her mouth as quickly as she could, but it was plain that Kaname was equally determined. They pressed on, finishing most of the remaining food within a few seconds. Momomi’s eyes darted between the two boxes, aiming for the last piece of fish. Her chopsticks darted out, seizing on it in one decisive motion.
Then she froze; staring down at Kaname’s chopsticks firmly locked round the last pickle. “Impossible,” she said, breathing a little faster.
“What now?” Kaname asked. She swallowed and promptly had another coughing fit.
Momomi stared at the pickle she actually wanted, then at the fish she had, then at Kaname, focusing her eyes and estimating the distance.
They moved together, chopsticks blurring back and halting, quivering, within an inch of their lips.
She anticipated my action? Momomi frowned, eyes intense. No, that’s not it. She came up with an identical plan of attack at the same moment as I did. We’re truly well matched. No more games, this is a serious business now.
“It looks like we’re not getting anywhere like this,” Kaname observed, trying not to breathe in the smell of pickle. “How about it? A simple exchange. The pickle to your box. The fish to mine. It’s the only option you have.”
She’s right. Like this, there’s no benefit to be derived from holding out. This way we’ll draw and mutually gain from the process. It’s impossible to win outright from this position, and no point in protracting the struggle. Momomi opened her mouth, about to agree, then stopped. Her lips curled into a smile again, a smile that made Kaname’s eyebrows contract slightly. No. It’s not over yet. Kaname has a psychological weakness I lack. If I exploit that, there’s still a chance of total victory.
“But, you know… isn’t that a bit dull?” Momomi said slowly.
“How so?” Kaname tensed slightly, trying to work out what came next.
“But really, this all began because you did such an usual thing yesterday,” Momomi said. “Isn’t appropriate that it should end like that? I’ll feed you the fish… but I’m expecting the pickle in return. That way, there’s no doubt.”
“Why should I do something like that?” Kaname asked.
Momomi leaned forwards, holding her prize just out of reach. “Is there anything wrong? It doesn’t mean anything, does it?”
“Of course not. That’s exactly why I won’t do it.”
“Come on, you can’t complain like this, now can you?” Momomi said, holding her chopsticks still closer to Kaname’s lips. “It’s just an exchange. But, if you really are uncomfortable, I guess you can put yours on my bento.”
Kaname narrowed her eyes, her posture slumping slightly. She made no reply.
That’s right. It’s impossible for an embarrassed and acutely sensitive Kaname to do something like that. But it’s easy for me, and my position will be stronger. When she drops the pickle, I have a small chance to retract the fish and grab my favourite too. With that, I’ve won. Momomi giggled at the thought. “Well,” she said pleasantly. “Shall we begin? My arm’s getting tired.”
Kaname nodded briefly, raising her arm and shifting the pickle across the table.
Momomi felt triumph wash through her chest. That’s right… just like this-
Kaname’s eyes narrowed, and she raised her hand, matching Momomi’s posture. “Like this, right?”
Momomi felt frustration and anger flash through her, though she was careful not to let it show on her face. “Is that fine?” she asked, gazing intensely into Kaname’s eyes for any sign of weakness.
“Yeah,” Kaname said. A slight blush tinged her cheeks, but she kept her neck straight, meeting Momomi’s gaze evenly.
Impossibly, Momomi felt her own cheeks warm under the strength of that stare. Ignoring that, her mind raced, searching for any possible scenario. Even without moving her eyes, she knew that Kaname’s jaw had tensed as she made the same calculations. No. This is it. We don’t get anything better than this. Unless Kaname snaps at the last moment. I need to apply as much psychological pressure as possible. Momomi leaned forwards, opening her mouth accommodatingly while maintaining a blistering eye contact. With her free hand she brushed a lock of her brown hair away from her eyes in a slow, luxurious movement. It needed support so she kept that position, her left hand steadying her face as she approached the target.
Kaname blushed even deeper but refused to back down, opening her mouth and leaning forwards herself. She raised her left hand slowly, placing it on Momomi’s arm to steady it across the distance, while keeping it low enough to maintain their heady staring contest. Momomi had to admire her boldness. She could feel her rival’s fingers brushing across her skin, separated by nothing but the silk of her blazer. Even so, there was no way she’d give up, not even like this.
The chopsticks crept forwards, still heavy and hesitant, neither party wanting to give up. Momomi felt her eyes start to water. This was getting intolerable. Somehow, they snapped at the same moment, moving forwards and closing their lips round the food. Momomi closed her eyes in relief, glad of the release, then opened them again to find Kaname in a similar position. They both pulled away and lowered their chopsticks, faces burning. Momomi didn’t even notice the taste of her pickle.
Outrageously, her pulse was racing, and for a few moments she was completely incapable of meeting Kaname’s eyes. But that was okay, the blue-haired girl was even worse off. All the same, though, she’d overestimated her own strength. This was a dangerous discovery.
“So, you two really are a couple!”
“Huh?” Momomi looked up into the obnoxiously enthusiastic face of Hisae Koda, her classmate most famous for having pulped women’s magazines for brains. It was predictable for her to draw the wrong conclusion. “No, nothing like that-”
“Oh, come on,” Hisae said effusively. “I saw how you were looking at her. It was really romantic, actually! It’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know…”
“No, it’s just that you’ve completely misinterpreted the situation,” Momomi began. “You see, we were playing a game-”
“Give it up,” Kaname muttered. She sounded like she’d just witnessed the futility of existence first hand and was ready to lay down and die where she stood. Momomi gave her an almost offended look before registering and following her gaze. They’d attracted some attention. And several camera phones. The nearest was held by Shion, who waved enthusiastically. Momomi mentally consigned her to the deepest fires of hell, a punishment deferred until she had a chance to execute it.
“Oh…” she said quietly.
“But, you know, I’m amazed,” Hisae burbled on. “You two never struck me as the type to get romantically involved, but here you are. It just goes to show-”
“Lay off, already,” Momomi said. While Kaname’s instructions would probably save her a lot of wasted breath if she followed them, she wasn’t going to give up so easily. “Like I was trying to see, that’s not the case. We were just playing a game, a race to see who could eat fastest.”
Kaname watched grimly as several other girls approached emboldened by Hisae’s presence and Momomi’s evident embarrassment. “I’m holding you personally responsible for this.”
“That’s unfair! You could have stopped any time you liked!” Momomi registered that this was giving the wrong impression again, but it was too late. It would probably be impossible for anything to generate the correct impression under these circumstances.
Evidently I miscalculated. While we understand what’s a game between us, and my strategy from that perspective was sound, I repeated my earlier mistake and failed to account for my surroundings. To fail to consider the ramifications of that action, what it would appear to a casual or even fairly close viewer who lacks insight into our personalities- which is to say everyone- was a fundamental error. I also underestimated Kaname’s resolve and her effect on me, but while that’s interesting its relatively incidental. More important is the degree to which I narrow my perceptions when I’m around her. It must be a result of my social disengagement, in which she’s the only one I really interact with, but it’s starting to have significant adverse affects. On top of that, it’s easy to tell that neither of us are as free of the opinions of others as we’d like to pretend. It might be the loss of control, in which we don’t control the terms framing the opinion of the majority. This definitely isn’t what I intended when I flirted with an idea like this. And this reality is hard for me to accept. It feels wrong somehow. Momomi put her head in her hands. And if I frame my thoughts in such scientific terms, I might be able to avoid going into hysterics. God, god, god! This has to be one of the worst moments of my life! Note to self; never play stupid games like that ever again! Ever!
“My, my, you lovebirds have caused quite a stir,” Shion said, finally breaking through the press to talk to them. “I’m most impressed.”
“Your life will be short,” Kaname said. Her words weren’t threatening. They were rich with twisted promise.
“Totally,” Momomi said, slumping forwards. “But we’ll fill them with exciting events. Exciting, painful events.”
“Oh, come on,” Shion said. “You can’t seriously tell me that this wasn’t the effect you wanted to achieve. You were most intense-looking then that I’ve ever seen any couple in public. Well, this side of the Etoile elections!”
“Believe me, I didn’t intend this!” Momomi snapped. “Though I should have anticipated it, to say the least…”
“So what were you doing?”
“We were playing who-can-eat-the-most-food. It came to a score draw, but I thought I could bluff my way to victory.”
Shion laughed out loud at her serious expression.
“It’s not that funny!” Momomi said. “But I must say with the benefit of hindsight, I was really badly wrong. Plus this kinda happened… well, it’s not my fault. It’s all you with your misapprehensions!”
“No, seriously. Playing chicken with food at your age? You’re kidding, right? You have to be kidding… but it’s you two, so it might even be true… this is too funny…”
“It made sense at the time!” Momomi said through gritted teeth. “Now shove off and fetch us some water.”
“Water?”
“Now we have an awful lot of rice,” the brown-haired girl sighed. “And nothing to eat alongside it.”
“I told you, this is all your fault,” Kaname retorted. “Take responsibility already!”
“You played along just as much…”
“Well, I’ll be right back,” Shion said, smiling.
Momomi let her head slump into her arms for a few more seconds before sitting up again. There was only one thing that could make this situation any worse, and so it was inevitable.
Sure enough, Amiki caught her eye and made a peace sign. Momomi blearily tried to think of any other circumstance in which that gesture would be appropriate from her, and found none. But, just like, Shion’s ridiculous cheerfulness, it was all too right now. It was incredibly, amazingly frustrating. Infuriating. It felt like making a mistake, and she hated mistakes with a passion.
“So, I guess this is a draw,” Kaname murmured. “But I’m very surprised that you’d be so forwards, Momomi.”
Something snapped. Momomi slapped her palms against the table and stood, shaking out her hair angrily. “I guess so,” she said, deceptively calmly. “Well, I’m going.” She walked away rapidly, ignoring Shion coming the other way.
Kaname stared after her for a moment, looking surprised. Then she got up and followed her. “Where are you going now?”
“I’m going to the library,” Momomi snapped. “I have things to do.”
“Can I finish the rice, then?” Shion asked loudly. They ignored her.
“Hey, are you mad or something?” Kaname asked, sounding almost incredulous. “I’ve said it before, but you started it…”
“Of course I’m not mad,” Momomi said, shoving her way through the crowds of the canteen and pushing open the door that lead to the outside. It was colder than she liked and rather dark, under a brooding sky. But she could care less right now.
“Well, you certainly sound it,” Kaname said. She bit her lip, looking frustrated.
“Well, I’m not,” Momomi said tartly. “Don’t worry about it.” She strode on, ignoring the blue-haired girl as best she could.
“You’re not being very honest. I’m not too surprised about that. But I am surprised that you’re this worried about what other people think of you. I thought you didn’t care.”
“That has nothing to do with this,” Momomi said. “Those people are all idiots, and idiots can’t be helped. But I definitely don’t want you to be under any misapprehensions. I was playing a game.”
“Really? It was getting bloody hard to tell, back there. At the very least, I couldn’t tell what game you were playing.”
“Hmm? What did Kaname think, I wonder?” Momomi asked, looking sidelong at her friend. “I hope you weren’t thinking of anything weird.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Kaname closed her eyes. “It was just your painfully transparent manipulations. But you can see why people are suspicious. Even if you say it was just you screwing with my head, it’s too easy to wonder at the motives.”
“What are you implying?”
“I’m saying that your actions overstep that thing Shion calls manners. And my actions, too. That just makes this kind of thing inevitable!”
Momomi scowled, making no reply.
“If you’re such a brilliant manipulator, you should easily have anticipated that,” Kaname said. “Isn’t it obvious?”
“Well, of course. I thought about this the other day, actually... If we were regarded as a couple, that could be useful for me, you know. A lot of this school obsesses in such a way, that much is pretty obvious.”
“You say that, but there’s no way I’d consent to it!” Kaname snapped. “I’ve stuck my neck out a long way for you, but there are limits at which my dignity kicks in. I’m not going to accept being regarded as your- lover. It’s far too shaming.”
“Then why did Kaname play such a game?” Momomi asked. “You, too, must have grasped the oh-so-obvious significance of what was occurring.”
“Because I had no intention of letting you beat me, of course,” Kaname muttered. “That hasn’t changed, remember that!”
“Well, that’s the way it is,” Momomi said, inventing as she went, but adopting a certain smug tone that she knew was completely, unmistakably her. “Obviously it’s something that would have to be hidden from my father, and in that respect perhaps I moved to early. But we already walk around everywhere together and function as a pair. It wouldn’t inconvenience you, but it’d be good PR. Right?”
“Are you seriously saying that we fake being a couple? After that just now?” Kaname snorted. “You’re longer on talk than you are conviction.”
“Well, yes,” Momomi admitted. “I’ll admit the concept is easier in theory than practise. I don’t intend to force myself to pretend I like you that way.”
“I’m the same way. Doing that just to gain a little ground, isn’t that far too pathetic, even for you?”
“You’re right.” Momomi’s shoulders relaxed slightly at the thought. “You’re really right. There’s no point in making ourselves sink to that level, is there?”
“Exactly. I don’t know… with that kind of thing, it’s just way too creepy.” Kaname shrugged. “Too much like the arranged marriage thing you’re running away from.”
“I wouldn’t call rushing into an inevitable conflict running away,” Momomi said.
“You’re still using deceptive and indirect methods. It’s inevitable, you can’t do anything else. But nothing changes.”
A flicker of annoyance crossed Momomi’s face before it smoothed into a blank smile again. She looked sideways innocently. “But, you know, I’m surprised.”
“How so?”
“Kaname has very nice eyes.”
Kaname blushed and looked away. “What are you talking about…”
Momomi giggled. “Oh, that was so worth it.”
“You have a really fricking weird sense of humour,” Kaname said. Her lips twisted into a frown and she stuck her hands into her pockets, looking out over the forest.
Momomi laughed again, tapping Kaname on the cheek. “You’re cute when you’re defensive.”
“It’s not funny!”
“Alright, alright.” Momomi schooled her features. “I’m sure I haven’t traumatised them too badly.”
“We should agree on this. We shouldn’t joke about things like that. It’s just annoying, especially after everyone else does the same thing and draws all the wrong conclusions anyway.”
“Oh, really?” Momomi sighed. “But it’s fun to tease you…”
“I told you, it isn’t a joke!”
“Okay, okay.” Momomi pouted at her friend, who was still facing away. “I get it already.”
“Anyway. I’m off,” Kaname said. “I don’t have anything to do in the library, I’m better organised than you.”
“Okay. Off to sulk?”
Kaname just snorted and made no reply, walking back the way she came. Momomi smiled at her retreating back then walked the other way, feeling a little better. It’s parasitic of me, Kaname, but you really do always cheer me up.
“Wait.”
She stopped and blinked, looking over her shoulder again. “Yes?”
Kaname was touching a tree with one casual hand, looking at her directly. There was a tension there, running through her whole body. Momomi didn’t understand it, but she could see it, all the same. “Listen,” Kaname began. “After school… before we begin work on the Church again. Meet me by the lake, okay?”
“The lake? Why?”
“I have something important to ask,” Kaname said, shifting her weight slightly awkwardly from one foot to the other.
“What?” Momomi demanded suspiciously. “Can’t you ask me now?”
“It has to be then…” Kaname looked away. “Just turn up, okay? Is that too hard for you?”
Momomi shrugged, reverting to a neutral expression. “Don’t worry, I’ll be there.” Then she relaxed slightly, smiling again. “This had better be entertaining, Kaname. You’ve got me all excited, now.”
“I’m sure,” Kaname said sarcastically, walking away.
Momomi watched her go, her expression thoughtful. As if I didn’t have enough to worry about. Behaviour like that, words like that, something like that, they’re not Kaname. She’d definitely building up to something. If…I have to consider it… if she confesses, what am I going to say? Momomi blushed at the mere thought. It can’t be anything like that, right? This is Kaname, the girl who doesn’t like me very much, except to argue with me. She’s strong and independent and she wouldn’t easily fall in love, least of all with someone like me, her polar opposite. She was going on about how she hated the thought of us bein seen as a couple not five minutes ago! On the other hand, I can’t think of anything else it could be, and I’m not so naive as to discount the possibility. She’s dishonest, with herself and me alike, so it wouldn’t be too inconcievable. She put her face in her hands for a moment, trying to choke her flush out. I shouldn’t have lead her on so much…it’d just be too embarrassing if that was what this was about. But I can’t help myself around Kaname, one way or the other, I end up doing stupid things. She has this presence that’s almost relaxing…so I got carried away in that, I suppose. But I need to be more careful, for her sake and mine.
The fact remains, though. It’s something I hate to admit, but it’s true, too. I’ve no desire to lose Kaname. She sighed. That doesn’t speak much for my self-imposed psycological isolation, but somehow, I don’t care. I just don’t want to be alone again.
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