---Prologue--- In 1996, a group of Senshi was sent to prison and their show was cancelled by a Japanese court for a crime they didn't commit. They promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Tokyo underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no-one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... ---Omake Twenty-Seven: The S-Team--- Out in a secluded area in the woods, Minako and Usagi had just finished gathering the sticks and twigs for the campfire. Usagi took two sticks and began to rub then together, trying to get a fire going, when Minako reached into her pocket and pulled out a lighter. "Whoa," Usagi said, "Where did you get that?" "What, are you serious?" the fellow blonde asked as she waved the lighter in the air, "You'd be surprised what I can get with this face. Men can't say no to me." Just then a groan was heard coming out of the black van they always traveled in. Slowly, a raven-haired figure emerged, her knees buckling underneath her and her back stooped over as she struggled to make her way over to her companions. "Rei-chan?" Usagi asked, "What's wrong? You look terrible." "It's all these damn gold chains, you crazy fool!" Rei said angrily as she fought to keep her balance, almost the entire top half of her body obscured by a plethora of large gold necklaces, "I pity the fool who wrote this stupid thing; I can barely walk!" "Hey, wait a sec," Minako broke in, "If you're supposed to be B.A. in this omake, shouldn't you be sporting a Mohawk?" Usagi quickly fished into her pocket, and came out with a sock on her hand, "If you'd like, me and my friend sock can cut your hair," she offered with a smile. "Shut up you crazy fool!" Rei answered, "Nobody gonna cut my trademark dark locks, I... I..." it was at that point that the raven-haired beauty fell backwards under the weight of all her gold jewelry. Usagi made a face and addressed the sock on her hand, "I think that big angry girl is getting worse," she said. Just then they were all joined by their cigar-smoking leader, Chiba Mamoru. He stepped over the prostrate form of Rei as he pulled out the cash from their last job, "I love when a plan comes together," he said as he passed the loot out. Minako made a face. "This is it?" she asked incredulously. "Well what do you expect?" Mamoru asked, "We were paid in used cans and bottles. That's the most I could get for them." "I pity the fool that only gives back five cents a can!" Rei shouted from where she was lying. "So," Usagi asked, "Any new jobs?" Mamoru's lips curled up into a smile, "I thought you'd never ask," he quipped, "As a matter of fact, there are some old friends of ours in trouble..." ---Later--- "So, you see," Haruka continued, her countenance downcast, "When we Outers signed our contracts, we didn't know anything about having an agent or lawyer present, nor had we any idea about residuals." "We've been translated into multiple languages," Michiru said tearfully as Haruka held her hand comfortingly, "The old episodes have made us all famous worldwide, and we've... We've never received pay for any of the reruns." "I see," Mamoru said as Usagi and Minako helped Rei into the room, a hand under each of her arms to help support the weight of her gold chains, "Does Setsuna or Hotaru know about the financial straights you all are now in?" "No," Haruka answered, "We've been able to shelter them from the truth, but now..." "Now they're going to repossess Haruka's convertible," Michiru said as Haruka made a face like somebody was killing her closest family member. "And you want us to stop the repo man?" Minako asked. "Don't worry," Usagi said enthusiastically as she took her hand out from under Rei's arm to strike a dramatic pose, "Because as the S-Team we are sworn to protect and..." Thump! Usagi and the others in the Outers mansion looked down to see the increasingly cranky Rei once again lying on the floor under the weight of her gold chains. "Don't just stand there gaping you crazy fools!" the raven haired woman shouted as she flopped around on the floor like a fish, "Help me up already!" As Haruka joined Minako and Usagi in helping Rei back up, Mamoru turned to Michiru. "Don't worry," he said, flashing a smile as he took another puff on his cigar, "I have a plan..." ---One Montage Scene Where The S-Team Turns Their Black Van Into A Tank Later--- "This really bites," the brunette behind the wheel of the repo truck groused, "I mean, it's bad enough you and I had to get this gig when the show was cancelled, but repossessing Haruka's convertible?" "I know what you mean Mako-chan," Ami said, "But hey, look on the bright side; five hundred years from now in Crystal Tokyo we'll all look back on this and... What in the hell... Mako..." "I see it Ami-chan, but I don't believe it." ------ As Ami and Makoto were coming around the block onto the street where the Outers mansion was, on the other end of the street was the black S-Team van which was now sporting a rocket launcher up on its roof. "Listen," Mamoru said as he stood on the roof with Rei (who was now using a walker for support), Rei and I are going to aim this ACME rocket at the repo truck, blowing it to Kingdom Come. Usagi, you've got the launch controls. When I say 'okay,' you launch the rocket and..." before Mamoru could finish giving his instructions, the walker Rei was leaning on collapsed under the weight of her gold chains, and she bumped into the leader of the S-Team on the way down. Mamoru stumbled forward and fell hard, straddling the large rocket. "Cheap-ass walker!" Rei shouted angrily, "I pity the fool that manufactured it!" "Mamoru!" Minako cried out as the young man slowly sat up on the rocket, "Are you alright?" The S-Team leader nodded as he took a puff on his cigar, "I'm okay I guess, I..." Usagi, hearing her leader say "okay," immediately pressed the launch button. "Wha... No, I didn't mean... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Mamoru screamed as he was launched into the air atop the ACME missile. Not having had time to actually aim it properly it did not, in fact, hit the repo truck. It did, however, hit Haruka's convertible. -KA-THOOM!- A stunned Haruka and Michiru came out of their house to look on in horror at the burning, twisted metal remains of the sandy-blonde's '94 convertible. The two were soon joined by Makoto and Ami who'd parked their repo truck nearby, and Minako and Usagi, who were helping Rei over. "My... My car..." Haruka whimpered as the normally tough and self-assured tomboy's lower lip began to quiver. "Um..." Usagi said sheepishly, "We successfully kept them from repossessing your car, so if you're ready to pay now, we'll..." "Pay you?" Haruka asked in disbelief, "You blew up my fucking convertible you stupid..." Just then Setsuna and Hotaru pulled up in the Time Senshi's car. "Great news!" Setsuna said as she and Hotaru ran out of the car, "Due to new DNA evidence Usagi and the others have been cleared of the false charges lodged against them, and we're all going to be staring in new episodes of Sailor Moon. We'll be getting residuals this time too, and... Haruka, what the fuck happened to your car?" "N... New episodes?" Haruka asked, her voice sounding distant and disconnected. "Dear," Michiru said soothingly, "We've got a show again. Our financial problems are over." "Yeah," Minako quickly added, "And now, you can buy yourself a brand new convertible." Haruka looked at the blonde who'd just spoken, and then turned back to the smoldering wreck in her driveway. "Well," she finally said, "I suppose it was time to get a new one. The thing was a gas guzzler," she said as she shrugged her shoulders. Usagi meanwhile had turned to Rei and frowned, "Here," she said as she began undoing the dark-haired woman's gold chains, causing a small pile to gather at her feet. Finally, she stopped when there was only three chains around her neck, "There. This way, you can have your gold chains and still walk around on your own." Rei's face lit up into a smile, "Wow," she said, "How can I ever thank you?" Usagi smiled as she reached over and stroked Rei's cheek, "I think I know a way," she purred seductively. Rei smiled back as she took the blonde into her arms, "Shut up and kiss me you crazy fool!" she ordered as she pressed her lips to Usagi's.
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