---Special Announcement--- A beautiful South Seas island comes into view, complete with large breasted natives and gentle breezes stirring the palm branches on the beach. As the camera pans, a very familiar looking woman is seen sitting on the sand in her fancy toga, a native girl massaging her shoulders as she sips a drink out of a coconut. She looks up, smiling as she notices the camera. "Hello ladies and gentleman, but especially you ladies," she says with a wink, "It's me, your favorite lesbian Greek poet Sappho here, to introduce the new omake. Tonight's entry is..." "Sappho," a rather tall native woman said as she carried a tied-up and gagged Japanese woman over, "I got her for you." Sappho looked at both the island native and her captive in shock, "What?" she asked confusedly, "I didn't ask you to abduct anyone. I asked you to go and get me some food." "Food?" The native asked as the young Japanese girl struggled in her arms, "I'm sorry, I thought you said Fuu. You know, from Samurai Champloo? "Wha... Put her down this minute!" Sappho ordered. As the large native put the captive down on her feet, Sappho quickly came over and began untying her, "I'm terribly sorry about this," she said as she released the woman's hands, "You weren't hurt, were you?" "No," Fuu answered as she removed her gag, "I'm actually getting used to being kidnapped by now. Say, what's with the all the people out there?" "Oh them? They're the audience," Sappho explained. She then turned to the large native and told her to bring Fuu a drink. As the tall woman left, she then turned to her new companion, "I was just about to introduce the new omake, actually. Care to join me?" Fuu nodded, and they both sat back down. Fuu received her drink as Sappho addressed the audience once again, "Anyways folks; sit back, relax, and enjoy tonight's omake. We..." "Umm... Sappho," Fuu interrupted. "Yes Fuu?" "Thanks for the drink and all, but could you please remove your hand from my rear?" Sappho frowned as she moved her hand, "Spoil sport," she grumbled disappointedly, "Anyways, here's the new omake. Enjoy." ------ ---Omake Twenty-Eight: The Merry Adventures of Robin Hino--- Out in the midst of a beautiful forest in the district of Sherwood, England, in the late twelfth century, a deer ran through an emerald green clearing, looking about itself majestically as a bird flew high over the leafy canopy of the trees. At a sound a short distance away, the great buck rushed off into the deep foliage to its left. Soon a woman came into the clearing, dressed in green tights with a green shirt. She had a leather vest over her shirt, and a green cap with a feather in it resting atop her head. On her shoulder she carried her bow and arrows, her dark black hair flowing freely down her back. The young woman smiled broadly as she placed her hands on her hips and breathed in the fresh morning air. "Robin Hino!" a voice cried out, "Hey, wait up." The famous outlaw Robin Hino, once known as Lady Rei of Loxley, turned to see her Merry Women coming up to join her. There was Little Mako, her nickname given her as a good-natured joke because of the fact she was taller than the other outlaws. There was also Ami Scarlett, the smart but hot-tempered member of the merry band who was always quick with the sword. And of course, the outlaw band's traveling minstrel, Mina-a-Dale, who began to dance around the group flashing a near maniacal smile as she began clanging two spoons together on her thigh as she began to sing. ...... O Robin Hino and her Merry Women, Went out in two and threes. They robbed from the rich to give to the poor, And for their trouble ended up with fleas." ...... "This is ridiculous," Little Mako grumbled, "Who ever heard of a minstrel playing the spoons?" "Agreed," Robin added, "And as far as the fleas go, how was I to know ye olde dog catcher was going to repay our generosity like that?" Just then, coming up the opposite side of the forest clearing, Friar Tenoh rode her donkey as fast as she could. "Robin!" she yelled out in her husky deep voice. "Friar Tenoh!" Robin Hino said, noting the alarm in the ecclesiastic's voice, "What's wrong?" "Terrible news!" the good friar exclaimed, the top of the pillow she had tucked underneath her costume just visible at the base of her neck, "The evil Sheriff of Nottingham, Chiba Mamoru, has kidnapped the fair Maid Usagi, locking her in the top of a great stone tower in his castle!" "No!" Hino cried out in anguish as Ami Scarlett rushed over. "Good friar," Ami said, "How did you find out about this tretchery?" "Me and my traveling companion, Sister Michiru, were traveling through the countryside when a message tied to an arrow flew towards us. Sadly, the good nun died, but..." "I'm not quite dead yet!" a stately-looking young nun shouted as she rode up to the group on her own donkey, an arrow with a message attached to it sticking out of her chest. ------ The beautiful blonde with the odangos was thrust unceremoniously into the room by the Sheriff of Nottingham. As the young woman cowered before him, a pair of guards followed them into the room. "You can't keep me here!" Maid Usagi shrieked, "My true love Robin Hino will rescue me!" "Robin Hino?" Mamoru sneered diabolically as he grabbed her wrist and threw her onto the bed in the room, "Ha! She'll never get here in time! Before the sun sets, we'll be married, and it'll be too late for your precious Loxley lesbian to save you! Muwa Ha! Ha! Ha!" Mamoru continued to laugh evilly as he left the heartbroken Maid Usagi on her bed crying. He then walked over to the two guards he was leaving in charge of her, looking from the tall blonde Corsican beauty to the much younger dark-haired Japanese girl. "Right," he sneered over-dramatically as he prepared to give his final instructions, "I want you two to stay here and... Hey, you," he said to the Japanese young woman. "Mmm," the young guard answered as she turned away from the window to look at him. "Stop looking out that window and listen!" the Sheriff ordered. "Her name's Kirika," the blonde said in a heavy French accent, "Not 'hey you.' And she does that all the time. I have yet to find out what she looks at," she added as the younger guard came over. "Whatever," the Sheriff grumbled, "Look, I want you two to stay here, and make sure she doesn't leave this room until I come and get her." "Right," Kirika said, her knowledge of medieval English sorely lacking in comparison to the Japanese of her homeland and the French spoken by her fellow guard, "Make sure she doesn't leave this room even if you come and get her." "No," Mamoru corrected, "Until I come and get her." "You mean," Mireille began as a look of confusion swept over her face, "Until you come to get her, we're not to enter the room?" The Sheriff's face began to turn red, "No," he growled out in a low tone, You two stay in the room, and make sure she doesn't leave." "Who?" Kirika asked in a monotone as she pointed at the blonde next to her, "Mireille?" The Sheriff of Nottingham shook his head, "No, not her," he said exasperatedly, "Usagi. Make sure Maid Usagi doesn't leave." "Who's Usagi?" Mireille asked. Mamoru rolled his eyes in frustration. "Her! The blonde over there crying!" he shouted angrily as he pointed at the youthful maiden weeping on the bed, "Stay here, and make sure she doesn't leave!" "Mmm," Kirika answered. A thought suddenly came to her, "What if we leave the room with her?" she asked. "Wha... No! Keep her in the room..." "Well yes," the blonde broke in, "Obviously we have to keep her in the room, but if she did have to go..." "Mmm," the Japanese guard added. "Look, it's simple..." the Sheriff groaned, "Just keep her here until I..." "Or anyone else?" Kirika asked in the same monotone that had been giving Mamoru the creeps since he'd entered the room. The Sheriff buried his head in his hand for a few seconds. Why in God's name had he decided to pick the Corsican and Japanese assassins to guard Maid Usagi? When it came to killing people, the two were unstoppable. Who knew that on something as simple as guard duty they'd be this incompetent? "No, not anyone else," he finally said, "Just me." Ten aggravating minutes later, having finally made sure they understood his instructions, he left the tearful Maid Usagi in the room with the smiling Mireille and the morbidly aloof Kirika who quickly went back to looking out the tower window. ------ O Robin Hino and her Merry Women, Are off to save Usagi, There will then follow most likely a yuri scene, That will leave all our panties quite soggy. ...... "Hey!" Robin Hino shouted, "What are you trying to do, get us in trouble with the site administrator?" "Enough with the dirty limericks!" Ami Scarlett added as Little Mako came over with a long length of rope with a hook attached to it. She looked up to the tower window and saw a young dark-haired maiden in a guard's uniform looking back at her. As Sister Michiru came over with the arrow still in her chest, followed by Friar Tenoh, Little Mako began to swing the hooked end of the rope faster and faster, finally releasing it to sent it upward toward the window. It missed however, and the heavy hook fell back to earth where it landed on top of Friar Tenoh's head. "Tenoh?" Sister Michiru asked tearfully as she knelt down by the sandy-blonde who was lying motionless on the ground, "Oh no..." Amy Scarlett knelt down beside the nun to check on the friar, and frowned. "Poor, brave friar." Ami muttered, "To have died like this, you..." "I... I'm not quite dead yet." The friar groaned as she sat up, rubbing the top of her head. Mina-a-Dale smiled happily as she pulled out her spoons again. ...... Oh Little Mako missed with the iron hook, And clocked Friar Tenoh on the head. We thought her a goner, but as it turned out, She is not quite dead. ...... "Mina, you blithering idiot!" Little Mako shouted, "Put those blasted spoons away!" Robin Hino rolled her eyes as she took the rope from Little Mako and, swinging it rapidly, let it fly. The hook grabbed onto the stone window sill with a "clank" sound. ------ "Mireille," Kirika muttered softly as she turned away from her window to her blonde companion, "Someone's climbing up to this room by rope." "Really?" the Corsican assassin turned guard asked as she came over the window and looked down. She saw Robin Hino climbing up a rope to the tower prison, followed closely behind by her band of Merry Women, "Good grief, it's a small army." "Mmm." Mireille looked down thoughtfully for a second or two, then turned back to Kirika, "Well... He didn't say anything about her not having visitors, right?" "Mmm," the Japanese guard muttered as Robin Hino now clamored into the room and rushed past the two guards to sweep the lovely Maid Usagi into her arms. "Okay," the blonde guard said as she addressed the rest of the Merry Women who were now entering the room, "You can come in and visit, but Maid Usagi has to stay here until..." she was broke off by Mina-a-Dale and her musical spoons. ...... Oh tonight at ye olde tavern we'll celebrate Usagi's rescue, Drinking the ale straight from the kegs. And later tonight, within the bedroom, Rei will part Usagi's legs. ...... "That's it!" Little Mako shouted as she grabbed the spoons away from Mina. "Hey!" the minstrel shouted, "Give those back!" "You," Friar Tenoh's voice boomed, "Go stand in that corner and say ten 'Hail Marys' for your lewd songs. And if you get this series bumped up to the mature section, I'll add five 'Our Fathers' onto your penance!" Mina slinked off into the corner of the room as Robin Hino continued to hold the tearful Maid Usagi in her arms. She placed her index finger under the blonde's chin, tilting her face up so they were looking into each other's loving eyes. Their lips touched tenderly as a heavy set of footsteps were heard coming up the stairs. "What is all that racket?" Mamoru's voice yelled out, "It sounded like someone was playing the spoons up here, I..." his voice died out as he saw the group in the room. Spotting his hated rival Robin Hino, he whipped out his broadsword from its scabbard. Rei did the same, and soon the two were engaged in a battle to the death. As Maid Usagi and the others looked on, the tyrannical Sheriff of Nottingham forced Robin Hino back against the open stone window. He lunged forward, and the gallant outlaw ducked just in time for him to miss. Sadly, his momentum caused him to fall out the window to his death. The two guards, who were watching silently from the sidelines, now came forward. "You just killed our boss," Mireille said. "Mmm," Kirika added. "Sorry about that," Ami Scarlett muttered. "Look," Friar Tenoh said, "Tell you two what; we'll just leave now with Maid Usagi, and you two can..." "Not so fast," the blonde guard said as she and her partner pulled their swords out, "We're not supposed to let her leave until the Sheriff comes for her." "Well, he did just come for her," Sister Michiru pointed out, the arrow in her chest still sticking out with Maid Usagi's note attached to it. "Oh..." the Corsican said, "Okay, go ahead then." "No, wait," the Japanese guard broke in, "Did he come in to get her, or did he come in to fight Robin Hino?" "I've an idea." Little Mako chimed in, "Why don't the two of you go outside and ask him?" Both guards seemed to like the idea, and promptly left the room in search of their boss who was currently lying dead in the front yard of the castle. In the meantime, Robin Hino and her Merry Women left with Maid Usagi, and all lived happily ever after. ---To Be Continued--- Dedicated to writer-jm, who suggested having Sappho return again. And for those who don't know, Mireille and Kirika are the two main characters in the show Noir.
Back to Mamorue Must Die! Index - Back to Sailor Moon Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction