You said, she did If the feeling is gone, words won't stop you anyway. If being free is worth what you leave behind and if it's too late for love to change your mind then it's goodbye time Haruka sat up upon hearing those words. Quickly she gazed around the room. Setsuna was still lying next to her. She seemed to be fast asleep though there had to be someone who had turned on the radio. The tomboy soflty grunted as she stood up and headed downstairs. She was aware of the fact someone could be breaking into her house but something inside of her told her it was nothing to worry about. Atleast she thought. When she came downstairs she was greeted by two empty looking eyes. On the couch sat hotaru. She was holding a small radio which was playing a song which obviously was called 'goodbye time'. "Hime-chan, what are you doing here?" Haruka asked as she walked over to the small child."Does your father know that you are here?" "You left Michiru-mama." Hotaru whispered as more tears fell down her face."You left her for Setsuna-mama and now everything got lost." "Hime-chan, what are you talking about? Come here." The tomboy whispered, trying to ignore the stinging feeling in her heart. When she tried to pick the child up from the couch Hotaru jumped away and run over to the door. When she couldn't run any further because she'd be running into the wall she turned back to face the blonde. "First you promised me that everything would be fine, that I could visit you and Michiru-mama whenever I want." Hotaru whispered with a pained looking on her face."But now I lost Michiru-mama because you're too proud to admit you love her. You truly love her, Serenity-sama told me." "W-what?" Haruka didn't understand the child's ramblings at all. "She came down from the sky and talked to me when I was asleep." Hotaru whispered. She made it sound like a scary scence out of a horror movie."She does that a lot since Galaxia got freed from that evil spell. She cries because she lost Chibi-Usa. She cries because she is happy as well. She found someone who loves her the way she always dreamed of to be loved. Then she cries for you Haruka-papa. She cries for you because you made a mistake." "I s-still don't understand." Haruka grunted, shaking her head. Hotaru was just messing with her. She had to be. What Hotaru was telling her now was impossible. "You got so afraid of being so happy that you made up a thousand reasons. You say it is different now Haruka-papa but it isn't. How can you just walk away, doesn't Michiru-mama matter anymore? Be honest with me...Are you with Setsuna-mama because you love her more than Michiru-mama or are you with her because you are too afraid to love Michiru becuase you're not used to being happy?" "Hotaru you're too young to be talking like this, I am calling your fa..." "Haruka-papa this time you can not run away. Please answer my question." Hotaru pleaded. For a moment it stayed silent. The only thing that you could hear was the soft breathing of the two in the livingroom and the song that was still playing. If being free is worth what you leave behind and if it's too late for love to change your mind well then it's goodbye time goodbye baby "Because I love Setsuna-mama." Haruka finally replied. "I know Haruka-papa. Serenity-sama told me. But do you love her more than you love Michiru-mama?" "Ofcourse I do." The tomboy stated but although it sounded really convincing you could tell she was having serious doubts about it herself at this point. "And if you forget for a moment that I am just a little girl..." The black haired child started."Would you have answered me with that same answer?" Haruka looked up in shock upon hearing that question. "I am calling your father." Haruka finally said as she turned around and walked over to the phone that hung on the wall behind her. "Can I stay here tonight?" Hotaru asked her 'father' when she saw Haruka pick up the phone."I may not like you so much right now but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you Haruka-papa." Haruka smiled at that. She just loved it how honest and sincere childeren could be sometimes. "Sure Hime-chan." She then said causing the black haired child to smile and hug her 'father's' leg. --- Usagi slowly opened her eyes upon feeling something or someone move next to her. When she saw a mass of aqua colored hair she was wide awake and sat up in shock. At first she had no idea what had happened but when she noticed that she had pulled the covers away from the sleeping beauty, who was naked, next to her she remembered everything. How she had gone to Michiru and told the older woman about her feelings for Rei. It was absurd that Michiru had agreed to doing this. Quickly the blonde covered the sleeping girl with the blankets again before covering herself. "You said you'd love me forever..." Suddenly the sleeping girl started to mumble."You're still alive..." With that Michiru started turning in her sleep. Usagi hung her head down. Something in the other's words made her feel like a complete mess. Could it be that she was disappointed to see that Michiru was still madly in love with Haruka or could it be the thought of Mamoru lying in hospital while she was here that made her feel like this? 'I should tell Rei about my feelings but before I mess up even more...' She took a deep breath before standing up, letting go of the covers. Here she was standing, next to the bed she had slept in with someone who wasn't her lover, completely naked and deep in thoughts. Being together with Michiru had felt so natural but wrong at the same time. At some point while they were having sex Usagi had felt like she belonged there, right in Michiru's arms. On the other hand she had felt so out of place whenever she remembered why they did this in the first place. Sleeping together in order to teach someone how to love the same gender.'She'll hate me after she wakes up.' This was the right time. Usagi didn't know why but something inside of her was telling her that she had to tell the truth to Mamoru now or she'd never do it. She took another deep breath before she started picking up her clothes that lay on the ground from last night. She had be be quick now, she didn't want to wake Michiru up and go through any more arguments. --- Usagi had decided to take the longest way to reach the hospital. She needed some extra time to think about how she'd confess to Mamoru about what had been going on lately. When she saw Haruka sitting on a bench with her head in her hands she suddenly regretted taking this way. Seeing Haruka after sleeping with Michiru wasn't exactly planned. She was happy to see that Haruka hadn't noticed her. She could just continue walking on. She didn't owe Haruka a explaination or anything anyway. All she had to do was just walk on but something inside of her stopped her causing her to change directions as she walked up to the obviously depressed and confused tomboy."Haruka, is everything ok?" Usagi asked. Haruka looked up in shock of seeing the other here."Good morning Usagi, what are you doing up this early?" "I wanted to visit Mamoru." Usagi lied. Ok, half of it was a lie."How about you? You don't look so good." Haruka smiled a bit."It's nothing, you should be going to Mamoru. Don't be bothered with me, he's probably already waiting for you to finally show up." Usagi shook her head as she sat down on the bench next to the senshi of the wind. "I am not in a hurry to see him." She finally said, her blue eyes never leaving Haruka's green ones. "And yet you wake up 6am in the morning to visit him." Haruka commented, knowing that the truth was that Usagi didn't really want to see him."If you tell me your story I'll tell you mine too." "You first." Usagi said as a small smile appeared on her lips. "Hotaru came home earlier this morning. Or evening, I don't remember. All I know is that I was asleep when I heard some music coming from downstairs. I decided to check it out and I found her there. Can you believe that? A nice year old managed to find her way into my appartment after hearing about me breaking up with Michiru." Haruka started with a bitter smile. Usagi just sat there and listened. This was the first time Haruka had ever been this honest with her. The tomboy usually wasn't the type to talk about her problems. "Anyway she was playing this song 'If the feeling's gone, words won't stop you anyway' that was a part of the lyrics. Then she started asking me if I loved Setsuna more than Michiru..." The smaller blonde swallowed hard. If this was going where she thought this was going then she'd have a big problem giving Haruka advice about this.'Great job Usagi, sleep with someone like Michiru a day before...this.' She scolded herself but decided to stay silent and listen to what the other had to say. "And to be honest." Haruka went on."I couldn't even properly answer that question. I love Setsuna but I love Michiru as well. Believe me Hotaru had some good arguments for me leaving Michiru but..." The blonde sighed in frustration."I don't even know. I can't even tell how I truly feel anymore. I was so sure until last night." She blonde tomboy stopped talking when she felt Usagi's hand on her shoulder."Pretty stupid ah?" The princess shook her head."Not stupid at all Haruka. Believe it or not I know how you feel." This comment ofcourse didn't go unnoticed. "Anyway enough of my ramblings, I believe it's your turn to tell your story now." Haruka stated, looking at Usagi with an intense look on her face. Usagi blushed as she gazed down at the ground beneath her feet. This was getting a bad habit, looking at the ground all the time while someone was talking to her yet she seemed to do it again and again and again."Mamoru..." She whispered as she sighed. She had to tell Haruka eventually, who not do it now? "You don't love him." Haruka interrupted the other when she saw that Usagi wanted to continue."Don't worry, after seeing you act so out of character in front of him it wasn't hard to guess. But I figure that's not the only thing bothering you. Telling someone you care for that you don't love them is hard, i've been there but I just know Usagi just by looking at you that it's not the only thing bothering you." "Now I understand why you are my guardians." Usagi said with a smile as she finally dared to look up."You all know me so well. I don't need words to portray my feelings." Haruka smiled as well. "I guess so...Now why don't you tell me what else is bothering you?" The tomboy asked, taking Usagi's hand in hers. Usagi swallowed."I fell in love with someone else. Atleast I thought I did but just like you, I don't know anymore. I thought I was in love with Rei but now I slept with..." SHe stopped talking when she realised what she had just said. When she looked up at Haruka she could see that the blonde was just as shocked as any other person would be. Usagi always had been the innocent type in everyone's eyes, not the type to do this. "You're in love with Rei?" The other wondered out loud before she let go of Usagi's hand and stared at her with a questioning look on her face."And you slept with someone? Are you completely out of your mind?!" The other yelled. After taking a few deep breaths she calmed down again."Sorry. It's just that it feels like you're doing all the things I did. I don't want you to make the same mistakes as I did and end up regretting your actions." "You regret breaking up with Michiru?" Usagi asked with an empty look in her eyes. She had to get away from her quickly before she would end up ruining all Michiru's chances with Haruka again. The tomboy shook her head."No, I love Setsuna and I want to be with her. Atleast for now. Until I truly know what I want. Anyway it's too late now anyway. I can't just trade Michiru like some stupid trading card. Now why don't you tell me who it exactly was you slept with?" "No one..." Usagi stated as she jumped up from the place she was sitting."I have to go now. Mamoru is waiting for me..." With that she turned around and started running into the direction of the hospital until she heard Haruka yell something. "She knows!" These words were enough to make Usagi turn around again to face the other blonde. "What?" She asked."Who knows what?" "Setsuna...She overheard my conversation with Hotaru..." Haruka replied as she stood up from the bench as well and started walking up to the smaller girl. (Flashback, earlier that day) After Haruka had put Hotaru to bed she had sneeked into her own bedroom again. Setsuna was still lying on the same spot as she had left her. The blonde was relieved to see that the other was still asleep. With that she crawled back into bed, covering herself with the warm blankets. She was just about to close her eyes again when suddenly she heard Setsuna's voice. So she hadn't been sleeping after all, why fake it? "You never answered her question." Setsuna's voice came. Haruka scolded herself for believing that the green haired woman had been sleeping all the time. She decided to acknowledge though."Which question?" "Why yoou left Michiru." The other's voice came. It sounded like a harsh thing to just ask from Haruka but Setsuna had to know. The tomboy sat up again, staring down at her lover who didn't move at all and still wasn't facing her. "That's absurd Setsuna. I am here with you because I love you, not because of any other reason." "That wasn't Hotaru's question." Setsuna pressed."I know you love me but..." "No I don't love Michiru more than you. In my eyes you're the only person I truly love." Haruka interrupted the other. She was slightly getting annoyed with people bringing this subject up all the time. Setsuna finally sat up as well, turning her head to Haruka. It was now that the blonde noticed the tears that were streamining down the other's face."I love you too." Setsuna whispered as she hugged her lover tightly as if she feared that if she would let go of Haruka she would lose her forever. "Shh don't cry." The taller woman said while stroking her lover's back."It's ok..." End flashback "That's not good." Usagi stated when Haruka was done talking."Do you think she knows about your true feelings?" "She can't know about that." Haruka replied."After all, I don't know either. She can't know what isn't there yet. Unless she decides to look into the future for this. Even then I'd have serious doubts about her knowing." She paused again before looking down at the princess."You never answered my question..." "Which one?" "Who did you sleep with?" Usagi blushed at that as she stepped back."I c-can't tell you. It's too..." "Michiru?" Haruka guessed. The look on her face didn't seem to change. She still had that confident smile on her lips and a caring look in her eyes. For a moment Usagi managed to forget about her fears until she remembered Michiru's words of earlier that morning.'You promised to love me until you would die, you're still alive.' This was when the blonde girl decided it was for the best not to tell Haruka. Michiru was still madly in love with the taller woman in front of her. "Your silence says enough." Haruka finally said after a few minutes. Usagi wanted to say something but stopped when she noticed that Haruka was staring at someone behind her. Usagi also turned around to see what was going on. But when she saw the black haired man in front of her she had wished she had never turned around in the first place. Mamoru... To be Continued...
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