Kris opened her eyes and looked up at the sky. The memories of her elementary school days fresh in her mind. Clouds could be seen slowly moving across a perfectly blue sky. The kind of weather that she enjoyed curling up under a tree with Jenn. Kris looked down at the flower on her lap and remembered where she was. It was no longer the past and Jenn would no longer be at her side. Kris's heart felt weak and she needed to use the corner of the bench to help herself stand. Only when she was certain her legs were not going to give out on her, did she continue her journey down the road. It did not take her long to reach her destination. Kris found herself walking alongside a large cemetery. As the entrance appeared in the distance Kris could feel herself begin to tremble. It had been such a long time since she had visited this place. Something about cemeteries held a calming feeling to them. She felt at peace amongst the headstones and would go for long walks with Jenn on cool autumns nights. Kris entered through the grand gateway and started down the many paths. There was a time when she and Jenn would get lost in the winding paths. They would walk around the graves until the sun went down. Kris smiled as she remembered the many autumns that were spent here. She wove her way through the cemetery until she came to a stop at a small gravestone. She knelt and brushed some of the dirt off the stone. Upon the headstone was a inscription. ‘Jennifer Halley - 1974 ~ 1990. She will always be remembered as our beloved daughter.' Kris reached out and traced the letters with her finger, "Hello there. Been a while hasn't it?" She mumbled, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I have been away so long. I really didn't mean to... I...." Tears filled her eyes as she clenched onto the flower tighter, "I'm so sorry." She let out a short sob. She could no longer keep herself from crying. She clenched her stomach as a wave of tears overflowed and splashed against the inside of her sunglasses, before rolling to the earth. She sat with her back against the headstone, pulled out a small notebook and began to write. She was told it would be best for her to start writing her feelings down instead of letting them build up inside of her. At first she found this a stupid idea, however over time she found herself turning more and more to her little notebook whenever she was upset and alone. Kris wrote quickly and without any concern for who would read it. Words spilled out over the pages in a jumble of unconscious thought. "Death, a world of silence and tranquillity. No worries to think of or problems to ponder. I think of these things here amongst the headstones. Time slowly passing by as I sit among the dead in their trouble less slumber, I consider joining them. Before me lies my lost love, Blanketed by mother earth. I feel the cold steel press hard upon my wrist, the pain must be stopped, the sorrow must no longer be, Death seems the only way, I shall soon sleep an endless slumber. But the evil within fights me, rips at my mind and soul, Killing the sanity That hides deep inside, smashing my head hard to regain some control, I've already lost some time ago, When I Lost Her..." ***** They were out celebrating Jennifer's 16th birthday. The air was cool and the wind played with the girls' hair. The two had just left the evening matinee and decided to enjoy the fresh air before calling it a night. Jennifer wore a long flowing white summer dress that danced in the wind. Kris was always mesmerized by Jennifer's sheer grace and beauty. Jennifer smiled at the way Kris would watch her move. She always found it amusing the way Kris would silently take in every detail of her. Kris could never understand what this girl saw in her. Her looks paled in comparison to Jenn's. Dressed in black slacks and a white silk top that were to big for her and covered up any form of feminine body that Kris might have. Jennifer laced her hands behind her back, leaned over, and kissed Kris softly on the lips. Kris felt her arms move uncontrollably as they encircled the girl and pulled her tight into her embrace, deepening the kiss. "It's getting late," Jenn said as she pulled away from the kiss, "I should get home before mom gets upset. You know how much she worries." She fixed Kris's collar as she spoke. "Yeah," Kris was saddened by the thought of the evening ending so early, all the same it was a school night after all, "We don't want to worry mom, now do we?" Kris felt closer to Jenn's mother than her own. While she didn't really care what her own mother was thinking she would never go against Jenn's mom. Jenn looked around and pointed at a small park across the road, "Why don't we cut through the park. We can catch the bus faster on the other side." Jenn started to pull Kris towards the park. Kris looked up at the sky. It was getting really dark and something about the park frightened her, "I don't know." She ventured pulling on Jenn's hand, "Maybe we should just catch the bus at the mall." "You always worry to much." Jenn answered, "and you did say you would do whatever I wanted to today." She continued with a grin. She loved to walk hand in hand through the park and felt it would be a perfect end to the day. "Well..." Kris tried to think of a way to protest, however one look into those eyes and she was lost. She was never very good at arguing with the girl she had given her heart to at such a young age, "If you insist." Kris let herself be pulled along the park path, only pretending to protest. The two girls laughed as they playfully teased each other. They didn't get very deep into the park when a group of boys stepped out of the shadows. One of them grabbed for Jennifer. Kris was quick to pull her out of his reach. Everything became a blur as one of the boys landed a blow to Kris's side. She heard her lover scream out as another blow struck Kris again, this time with a bat. The pain didn't matter. All she cared about was getting to Jennifer, when again she was struck in the back of the neck and she fell to the ground as darkness washed over her. Kris was awakened by raindrops pelting her face. She slowly rose to find that most of her clothes had been torn and only one sleeve of her blouse still remained intact. Nevertheless she didn't care about that. The first thing that came to her mind was Jenn; she prayed that her love was unharmed. They could beat Kris until there was nothing left, but there would be no reason left to live for if her love was no longer standing at her side. Kris got to her feet with the aid of a nearby tree (which was odd in itself because she remembered being knocked down on the pavement, but she didn't bother with that.); she stumbled around the park, ignoring the pain in her ribs and the blood that was trickling down the side of her now swollen right eye. "Just let her be all right, let her have escaped unharmed, that is all I ask," However Kris's wish fell on deaf ears as she soon stumbled upon the limp form of her love lying broken near the roots of an old willow tree. Kris knew right away that there was no hope, but couldn't, wouldn't, let go of the faint chance she was wrong, and Jennifer was just peacefully sleeping under the stars. Kris dropped to her knees upon reaching the other girl's side. Shakily she reached out and touched Jennifer's soft cheek. It was cold. "Jenny, Hey Princess it is time to wake up." But there came no answer. "No no no no," Kris began to say over and over again. She pulled the limp lifeless figure that was once her lover's body into her arms and began to rock back and forth. All the physical pain she had felt before was replaced by a sorrow that she couldn't control and finally Kris let out an anguished scream. ******* To be Continued....
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