It was over seven years ago now, nevertheless Kris remembered it clearly as if it were yesterday. She lay atop a small grassy hill. The sun shone down on her sleeping form. Dark jacket, long sleeved shirt and pants covered her entire body making her pale skin, strawberry blonde hair and freckles stand out even more. Below her other children could be heard playing tag and climbing on the jungle gym. She would continue to lay perfectly still and just listen to her surroundings. First, she blocked out the sounds of laughter, because she hated it so much. Hate is too harsh a word. It was more like she felt as if there was no reason for laughter so promptly blocked it from her mind. It was sort of a game for her. One by one she would pick out a voice and shut it off. Then, when all the laughter was gone she would listen to the wind rustling through the small wood behind the hill. Adults told her to stay away from the wood, but she wasn't scared. There was a peaceful quality to the wood that calmed her soul. When she felt she could see the trees in her mind she would begin to count the leaves. Listening hard as the cool autumn breeze played music with the dying leaves. A shadow fell over Kris. She hoped it was only a passing cloud, but could sense that wasn't true. A soft voice gently interrupted the girl's thoughts. "Kristen... Kristen, Recess is over. It is time for class." The voice said. Was that her name? She wasn't sure. With a deep breath she slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the large form that stood before her. It was a tall, thin woman in a long plain brown dress that hung down to her ankles. Kris realized right away that this must be one of the teachers from the school on the other side of the playground. The teacher spoke again. "Did you not hear the bell, dear?" The girl just stared for a moment blinking at the teacher with her sad blue eyes. She looked as if any moment now she would begin to cry. "Are you alright, dear?" The teacher started to reach out for the child to help her up when suddenly the child moved out of the teacher's reach, brushing off the grass from her jeans. Then without a word, turned and slowly walked towards the school. Each step felt like her shoes were filling with lead. Kris didn't like school. It wasn't that she wasn't smart, far from it, the only class she wasn't doing well in was reading and that was only because she didn't like to read out loud. She just found it hard to speak in the first place, so reading out loud was hard on her, however that wasn't the real reason she didn't like school. The real reason was because of all the other kids. All the laughter and smiles made her feel uneasy. She was always told she should smile more, however in spite of everything she couldn't think of any reason to smile. To her, the future was filled with nothing but darkness and pain. All she could think of was, that when the final bell rang, she would be sent back to the nightmare called home. As Kris walked down the long hall to her classroom she looked down at her tiny hands. There was a long cut down the middle of her left palm. She traced a finger along the center of the freshly healing wound. She could feel a few tingles, but not much more. It had been a long time since she remembered what pain felt like. She used to not be able to handle any amount of pain, however over time she found that, just like the laughter, she could shut off the pain. The cut was caused by herself. The other day she got a splinter of wood in her palm. Not wanting to bother her parents, she dug the sliver out herself. However it broke off in the middle of her hand and she was having trouble pulling the piece of wood free. For a Christmas present she was given a science kit with tweezers, scalpel and more. There was no pain at all as she sliced the scalpel deep into the palm of her hand until she found the splinter and dug it out. Her parents didn't even seem to notice the bandage when they saw her briefly for dinner. The teachers were so used to her showing up with wounds that they stopped asking how it happened and just let her be. Kris looked up from her palm to find herself standing at the entrance to her class. None of the classrooms had any doors and were only divided by thin wooden walls encircling a small library. Outside of the class was a wall of hooks with a child's name over each one. She found the hook with the name she was given and hung up her jacket before going back to the door of the class. At first she just stood in the doorway looking upon the world inside. Class had not started just yet so most of the children were not at their seats. They were chatting with friends about the things they did during lunch break and what they planned to do after school let out. The desks were arranged in a "c" shape facing in and around a grand desk that sat in front of a large chalk board. The door that Kris stood in was located in the back corner. There was only one long narrow window in the room located in the far opposite corner next to the chalkboard. Clouds could be seen building up in the sky through the window. Kris wished she could be outside with the autumn air lapping at her skin. No one approached her or tried to talk to her. For the most part they just ignored her presence. They discovered that it wasn't worth their while to try to talk to such a weird girl. She didn't talk much and when she did she was very quiet and sounded like she would break into tears at any moment, which she was known to do daily, so they'd just rather not get involved. She continued to stand motionless. She was very good at this and found that if she stood perfectly still that no one would notice her. Well, almost no one. "Afternoon Kris." Came a soft strong voice from behind her. The little girl turned around to see a tall man with short dark hair and black rimmed glasses. This was Mr. Gish, probably one of the kindest teachers in the entire school. Mr. Gish ran into Kris a year ago in the halls. She was curled up in a tight ball against a wall, crying. The teacher stopped and asked her to come with him to the teachers office. She was scared of him, however found she could not refuse the request so slowly followed the man. There he gave her some hot chocolate and helped her calm down. Every week since, she would meet him at the teacher's lounge. He promised her that the next year he would make sure she was in his class and he did as he promised. This was the only adult that Kris trusted, "You going to join us for class today?" He said with a smile, "I have a surprise that I think you may like, but I need everyone to be in their seat before we can begin." The girl slowly nodded, then turned to go to her seat, but noticed a group of boys sitting around her desk. She looks up at her teacher and almost as if he read her mind he clapped his hands and spoke. "Alright everyone to your seats. I have an announcement to make." Everyone suddenly scampered around and got into their proper seats, whispering to each other wondering what news their teacher had for them. Mr. Gish slowly walked around the outside of the class giving Kris enough time to get to her seat before he reached his own. When he got to his desk he waited until all the children settled down and then gave everyone his trademark smile which even warmed part of Kris's soul. Only when he had everyone's attention did he finally speak, "We have a new student in our class." He said to the class, "She should be here any moment, but I wanted to tell you all before she gets here. She is kind of shy so I want you all to be nice." The class suddenly burst into murmurs as the children excitedly talked amongst themselves about who this new girl could be. Kris quietly looked from one classmate to another watching them already making plans as to who will be friends with this new girl before they even had even met her. Then Kris felt something she couldn't explain, almost as if someone was watching her. She turned to see a pair of eyes peering into the room. When Kris's eyes met with the mystery pair they suddenly disappeared around the corner. The strange feeling started to get stronger and Kris started finding it hard to breath. She felt dizzy and her head started to hurt. She grabbed the side of her desk to steady herself when she heard the girl sitting next to her speak. "Teacher, I think there is something wrong with Kristen again." The room filled with laughter which was quickly silenced by Mr. Gish given the class a quick glare. He quickly went to Kris's side. "Kris, are you going to be alright?" She looked up at him with glassy eyes. She wasn't there and Mr. Gish could see it. This happened every week and some times were worse then others. No one could explain what was happening to the girl and the other teachers didn't want to deal with such a strange child. Mr. Gish, however felt there was hope for this girl if he could only reach her. In the past few months, he learned that, for one thing, this girl is a lot stronger then others take her for. She was fighting something alone that few have to face in their entire lives, however there was little he could do about it except try to be there for her, "Kris, Listen to me. Can you hear me?" He said softly not wanting to frighten the child. Kris whispered "Water..." Her hands were clenched on the side of her desk, her knuckles turning bone white. Mr. Gish noticed there was blood under the girl's hand. He knew he shouldn't touch the girl because he could lose what ever is left of her right there. "Go get water, You can go." He whispered. Everyone watched as Kris almost fell out of her chair backwards as if Mr. Gish's very words suddenly cut the mysterious strings that held the girl in place. Using the wall to help guide her out of the class and down the hall she found her way to the girl's washroom. These "things" happened so often that she could walk the route blindfolded. Actually, in her current state of mind she was almost blind. It felt like she was walking through water. Everything sounded muffled and looked blurry. She was not willing to let whatever this was take hold of her here, not now. She found the girl's rest room and stumbled inside towards the sink and started to splash water on her face. She didn't even notice that her hand was bleeding and didn't really care. The cold water cut through her like a knife. It was one of the few feelings that she remembers . She found out long ago that it helped cut through the fog of her mind and shock herself back to reality. When she was sure she had both feet in reality she turned off the water and prepared to head back to class. It was then that she heard it. At first she wasn't sure what it was. Then the sound came again. The sound of someone trying to struggle with a bout of tears. How could she not have noticed it before. She turned around to see a young girl, about the same age as herself, curled up in the corner staring at her. The girl's eyes were filled with tears and she looked pale. Her long blonde hair was neatly brushed except for the part where the girl had run her fingers through it. She was dressed in a little blue dress with long sleeves that covered her hands. Kris looked at the girl bewildered, something in her eyes struck Kris and she couldn't look away. Finally she found the will to look away at the mirror. Kris's short curly hair, that surrounded a boyish face, was a disaster. Water dripped from curly bangs that hung in her eyes. She hated the way she looked. Her baggy black clothes made her look even more like a boy and her eyes were red from tears. Usually she didn't care what she looked like, but for some odd reason she felt embarrassed with her looks at that moment, however there was little she could do about it now. Using the sinks for balance she walked over to the same wall as the girl. She sloped into the opposite corner letting out a deep sigh and slid down the wall. The other girl wiped her tears away and looked at Kris out of curiosity and confusion. She then noticed the blood and began to stammer. "Yo.. You're.. You're bleeding..." She pointed at Kris's hand. Kris lifted her hand up to her face to see that the cut had reopened and fresh blood was running down her arm. She was too tired to do anything about it, so she watched the blood slowly run down her arm under the sleeve of her shirt. The other girl got up and grabbed a handful of paper towels, soaked them in the sink, then grabbed Kris's hand and started dabbing at the wound. Kris didn't know what to do. Usually when someone touched her she feels the need to pull away and hide. But this time it was different. The girl continued to hold pressure on Kris's hand while Kris tried hard to figure out if she was dreaming or not. Was she lost in one of her fake worlds? She decided to take a test to see and reached up with her other hand to touch the girl's golden hair. The girl pulled her head back, but didn't let go of Kris's hand. Their eyes met and Kris realized that these were the same eyes that were peering into the classroom before she had her "episode." "You new?" Kris's voice scared herself as it echoed against the tile walls. The girl nodded. "What is your name?" Kris was shocked to hear herself. She was never this talkative with anyone. She took her hand from the girl and held the paper towel in place herself. The girl nervously brushed her hair over her ear then moved against the wall next to Kris, "Jennifer, you?" She asked softly, her voice merely a whisper. Kris thought for a moment "I don't have a name." The blonde gave Kris an odd look, "How can you not have a name?" Kris let out a sigh "People say my name is Kristen, but I'm not sure." Jennifer looked even more confused "How can't you be sure? I mean isn't that the name your parents gave you?" Kris started to stand "If they are my parents." She tossed the paper towel in the garbage and grabbed a clean sheet. Jennifer watched Kris carefully fold the paper towel, then place in against the wound "huh?" was all the blonde could say. "Never mind, it was nothing. You can call me Kris." Kris slowly turned towards the door and started to leave, then stopped and turned back to Jennifer, "You coming?" She asked with a nod towards the door. Jennifer quickly stood up and followed closely behind her new found friend. ******* To be Continued....
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