Shinobu and Miho sat side by side with Shinji at their feet as Kanako looked at herself in the mirror. Miho, with her slightly tanned skin, those beautiful, naturally ruby red lips, those all too feminine fingers and the enigmatic purple hair were probably the only differences between her and Kanako, physically. It never ceased to amaze Miho that Kanako could look so much like her. Kanako sighed with a slight hint of an emotion that even she didn’t know the meaning of. Shinobu had insisted that she stay the night and that she wear some of her clothing for the night as well. Shinobu allowed Kanako to wear one of her favorite shirts, her white ‘cabot’ with black sleeves, as well as some undergarments since Kanako had none. It was unusual for Shinobu, that Kanako would not have any clothing with her whatsoever but she accepted Kanako’s reasoning. As she turned around to thank them, she got a good look at Shinji’s eyes. They were not the eyes of someone who was looking for a dead father; rather, they were the eyes of someone who enjoyed life to the fullest. It somehow made her feel less guilty about what she had done, made her feel that she could at least stay the night with them as long as she didn’t have to stay in the same room as the mother and child. Kanako could still feel the blood on her hands but as she saw Shinobu smile at her, it almost felt as if she could just wash it all away, no matter how much there was. She knew that wasn’t possible though, those deaths would forever weigh down upon her conscience and she was sure that her deception in the Kamakura would not be able to protect her forever. She may well be risking their lives by staying there but she had no choice. If she left now, even with the adverse weather conditions outside, she would have to explain everything and she wasn’t ready to do that now. “You look cute, Kanako-chan.” Miho smiled as she took a good look. “It suits you better than it does Shinobu-chan.” “Thank you but what about sleeping arrangements? It doesn’t look like you have much room here. I’ll just sleep downstairs.” Kanako said. “There will be enough room.” Miho answered in her soft yet confident voice. “Shinji-kun can sleep with me in my room. Though, it’ll still be a tight fit for the two of you.” “That will be fine.” “Well, it’s past your bedtime, Shinji-kun. Let’s get you to bed.” “I’ll take a shower before I go to bed.” Shinobu said as she stood up. “Can you lay out the futons for me, Kanako-san?” “Where are they?” Kanako asked. “Never mind, I found them.” As Kanako lay down their futons on the floor, she looked up at Shinobu, who was walking towards the bathroom. It was obvious that the girl was still shy about taking her clothes off in front of someone else, or probably just in front of Kanako. She could hear Shinobu turn on the shower and it reminded her of the times she had made a kill. She immediately took a shower, bath or anything that she felt would wipe the blood away from her hands. As she listened to Shinobu’s voice as she sang herself a song in the shower, it soothed whatever nerves of Kanako that still felt tense. She stretched her body, straining herself to hear what Shinobu was singing. It was a simple, slow love song but it bought a small tear to Kanako’s eyes. She knew the song well, she loved that song. It was from the soundtrack of some show that she watched frequently in her yakuza years. The show reminded her of the insanity and happiness of life in Hinata Sou while the song had the quality of making her smile. Without knowing, she had begun to sing along already. Manten no SUTAA DASUTO (Stardust scaterred across the sky) BIIZU no BOTORU o chirakashita mitai (Like someone knocked over a bottle of beads) Mikkazuki no HANMOKKU de yume (Upon the hammock of the crescent) “You know the song too, Kanako-san?” Shinobu asked from inside. “Horoscope Rhapsody from the Galaxy Angel season one soundtrack…” Kanako let out a smile as she answered. “You may not believe this but I love that show.” “You don’t seem the type to like something like that.” “It reminded me of Hinata Sou during those years I was away.” Kanako answered as she stood away from the bathroom door. She could hear wet footsteps, indicating that Shinobu was done. “I missed all of it. The insanity, the chaos, the hordes upon hordes of Mecha-Tamas that I would find in my closet, I missed it all.” “Shinji-kun loves that show and he insists I sing Horoscope Rhapsody to him as a lullaby so I had to learn it but I like the show too.” Shinobu said as she stepped out of the bathroom in a large t-shirt, drying her hair off with a towel. Kanako could only look in admiration at Shinobu, who seemed to have everything. She was beautiful, sexy, cute, charming, talented at sketching, had a golden voice, all qualities Kanako didn’t see in herself. She wasn’t jealous though, she sincerely admired Shinobu, who had no idea of this. As the two of them lay down on their futons, which were right next to each other and had nothing to separate them, Kanako stared up at the ceiling. Their lives had been completely different, as they were completely different but she could tell that they were more alike than anyone else. Shinobu didn’t seem to be sleepy either but Kanako didn’t want to start a conversation just yet. She sighed as she stood up and looked out the window, seeing the full red moon and the stars. She smiled, somewhere in the world, Su was transforming again. She felt a gentle, soft had land itself on her shoulder and she turned to see Shinobu, smiling at her. “You can’t sleep either, can you?” Kanako asked first. “Iie, it’s not that.” Shinobu said as she shook her head a little. “I just like looking at the night sky. I remember before, you, me and senpai would watch Su-chan transform on the rooftop when there was a red moon. The night sky is beautiful when there’s a red moon.” “Blood moon…” Kanako whispered. The red reminded her too much of her days in the yakuza. “Did you say something?” Shinobu asked with her eyes full of innocence and unknowing of the darkness that was eating away at her companion’s heart. “About Shinji-kun…how has his life been, without a father?” Kanako asked directly. Perhaps she believed that a positive answer might alleviate her guilt. “Is he sad about it?” “He doesn’t seem to mind. He confides everything to me and he says he’s happy having two mothers rather than a mother and a father.” Shinobu answered. “I don’t think he’s sad about his father being dead. Miho-chan has gotten over it too. He wasn’t really around all that much, now that I think about it.” Kanako felt like a great weight was lifted off her chest. It was, by no means, something that meant she didn’t have to feel guilty anymore but it did make her feel better that the boy was happy even without a father. She remembered her childhood most bitterly. Her biological parents divorcing, fighting over her at the courts when they would barely even pay attention to her before that time, she hated them both with a passion. Her father was a womanizer and a drunk, her mother a worthless gambling addict. While the path she took in life was different from the ones they took, in her eyes, she was just as bad, if not worse, than they were. She hid behind a mask to give everyone and herself the illusion that she was different from those two, from the people that taught her nothing but loathing, bitterness and hatred. Life was a game of appearances, after all but deep inside, when she removes the mask she forces herself to wear, she finds an empty shell of a woman, with no one to love, no one who loves her and no right to exist whatsoever. “That’s good to hear. I don’t want anyone to have gone through the Hellish childhood that I did.” Kanako said as she lowered her head. “No one should have to suffer the way I did.” “Kanako-san…” “Haruka-san told you about how I came to be adopted but what she doesn’t know is how miserable I was before that happened.” Kanako blurted out. Something inside her told her it was time to let someone know what her past was really like. “My parents were good for nothing dregs of society. Not a day passed by that I wasn’t thankful that the courts had me put in an adoption agency.” Kanako felt all that bitterness that had taken root in her heart slowly tighten its grip. Her darkness, her distrust of humanity in general, her insistence on being alone as often as she could, her seemingly perpetual anger, all rooted in her early childhood. She wanted to be strong, to no longer have any need of anyone else and to hide the fragile self inside her from harm. All her life was one big elaborate façade to hide a shy, helpless little girl calling out to be loved and to love back within her. In the end however, she was only really fooling herself. Keitaro saw through that disguise as easily as he saw through her mask on that night in the annex building. Naru must have seen through the façade as well, her mask had become useless. After hiding from herself and hiding herself for so man years, she almost forgot who she was. In the end, she was still that girl who tried to get the attention of her parents by being an over-achiever, hoping it would make them like her, pay attention to her. No more tears to be shed over that though, no more regrets over them. “Kanako-san…I never knew…” “In the end, the only thing I ever really have in life is I and my loneliness. Take good care of yourself and Shinji-kun and Miho-san.” Kanako said to Shinobu as she threw a blast of her ki to the sky. “Because in the end, you don’t want to be like me: alone without anyone to pick you up when you fall, without so much as a shoulder to cry on.” The tears that Kanako was struggling to hold back were far too obvious to Shinobu. As one of them fell along the black-haired one’s cheeks, Shinobu lifted a single finger and wiped it away. As Kanako readjusted her vision, Shinobu was there to offer a comforting hand to her. Shinobu took Kanako’s hand, pressing her warm touch on those cold hands. It was more than a sign of friendship; the two were past that point, stepping into that undefined relationship between friends and family. Shinobu knew how Kanako felt; she could understand what Kanako was saying with crystal clarity. So much pain, so much hurt, so much loneliness. She wanted to relieve that, to help her get through all that pain, to help reach the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. She felt the longing to show Kanako that life wasn’t just a series of hardships, pains and sufferings. That beyond all that was something that she could enjoy, preferably with someone else, someone to share the pain and the joys with. “You’re wrong. You’re not alone, Kanako-san.” Shinobu said, holding Kanako’s hand even tighter. “You had senpai, you had all of us in Hinata Sou. And right now, you have…me.” Kanako broke down in tears, placing her head on Shinobu’s shoulders. Shinobu embraced Kanako, holding her tight and letting Kanako get it all out. It was a strange feeling as Shinobu remembered everything that Kanako had put everyone in Hinata Sou through before she calmed down and began to get along with everyone else and even then she could still frustrating to be around. It was almost like an angel comforting the devil, in a manner of speaking. Kanako just kept on crying and Shinobu kept her silence. Words wouldn’t be able to do much right now, it would be better to just let her work through this in silence. When Kanako slowly lifted her head, her tears slowly drying and she had begun to regain control of her emotions, Shinobu slowly let her go. Shinobu let Kanako’s hand slip away from hers as the dark one moved away to the bed without a word. Kanako just turned to her and showed a small, sincere and thankful smile. That was all the assurance Shinobu needed that Kanako understood what she had told her, that she wasn’t alone. “Shinobu-chan…” Kanako said nervously. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome.” Shinobu faced her with a gentle expression. “Good night.”
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