Angel Light, Angel Dark (part 2 of 14)

a Love Hina fanfiction by Kanako Urashima

Back to Part 1
Shinobu’s Diary

Entry Date: August 12
Dear Diary,

I was in for a great shock today. You remember Kanako-san don’t you? 
Senpai’s younger sister? She and I are completely different, right? We 
couldn’t possibly have anything in common, right? I thought that too, 
until today anyway.

You see, Haruka-san and I went out shopping for some groceries earlier 
and along our way out, we bumped into Kanako-san. I tried to smile and 
greet her a good morning but she just frowned at me. It seems like 
she’s always angry at something and I guess I didn’t want to be the 
one that she would take it out on so I just kept my head low and 
walked past her. Oh, where was I? Right, now I remember.

Well, we passed Kanako-san right? It was then that Haruka-san had a 
sudden thought, I think. I can’t really be sure if she had been 
planning to tell me that all along, really. She told me about how 
Kanako’s family used to be close friends with the Urashima family 
until her parents decided to divorce.

It was a really sad story and I think I almost cried. I completely 
forgot just how mean Kanako-san was after hearing that. It turns out 
that her parents both wanted to take her with them but she didn’t want 
to go with either of them for some reason. Haruka-san seems to think 
that Kanako didn’t like either of her parents. In the end, the courts 
decided to just put her up for adoption, “to save her the emotional 
trauma of living with only one parent”, Haruka-san said.

I guess that’s why she seems so sad all the time. Haruka-san says that 
that’s the reason why she looks so angry with everyone all the time. I 
want to help her. Maybe that’s why she seems so intent on winning 
senpai, she just wants to be loved, to feel that someone cares about 
her. Actually, I can relate to her. I felt the same way once.

After my parents planned to get a divorce, I was so sad. I didn’t want 
anything to do with anyone anymore. I just wanted to be left alone, so 
I can be sad all the time without having to listen to anyone try to 
console me. For a long time, I hated everything around me and I didn’t 
want to have friends because I thought that they’d just leave me…like 
my parents did.

But…staying in Hinata Sou…it helped me go through all that. It helped 
me believe in others again. I made many friends here. Naru-senpai, 
Kitsune-san, Motoko-san, Su-chan…Urashima-senpai…I think she just 
needs to make a few friends for her to brighten up a little. But she 
doesn’t look like she wants to be the one to make the first move.

That’s why I’m making this little doll of her. I know it’s weird but 
maybe, if I try real hard, the two of us can at least get along. And 
maybe I should try to change her smile too. Her smile really scares 
me…actually; I think it scares everyone that sees it.

I know it’s probably nothing to her and it’ll probably make her angry 
or something but I’ll give it to her as soon as I finish it. Maybe 
someday, she’ll remember me giving it to her and who knows? It just 
might brighten up her day.

smile

Well, it’s getting late already and I have to wake up early tomorrow. 
Kitsune-san wanted to switch chores, so I cook breakfast tomorrow 
while she baby sits Sara. Now that I think about it, whenever Kanako 
ends up baby sitting Sara, everything seems so…quiet. I wonder why?

End Entry

Chapter 2: Murder

“So much has changed…” Kanako sat as she leaned her upper body on the 
bar, sighing as she closed her eyes in contemplative silence. “…yet 
nothing has really changed, has it?”

“I guess so.”

So many years apart, so much time has passed since these two even 
thought of one another. Have things really changed, Kanako wondered. 
Certainly, their physical appearances have changed, some things 
changed almost dramatically. Shinobu was twice the woman she was, 
physically speaking, than when Kanako last saw her. Kanako herself 
knew she was no longer the stoic, cunning person that she was before. 
She still had the mind of a manipulator; she was still Hinata Sou’s, 
and probably Japan’s, foremost cerebral assassin and spin doctor. Now 
though, the underworld would forever know her by her Kamakura code 
name: Headshot Harriet. So many secrets inside her, weighing down on 
her relentlessly, sometimes they would threaten to drive her mad from 
guilt. Yet, Kanako had learned long ago to live with the guilt, ignore 
it and focus on her next goal. Now though, she had no major goals. 
Inside her, she thought buying Hinata Sou would help her find a 
purpose, a new objective to make her forget. It didn’t but Shinobu’s 
smile did.

“What have you been doing all this time?” Shinobu asked.

Kanako closed her eyes, recalling her years in the Kamakura. She was 
the cause of so much pain and suffering, so many deaths. As she looked 
at her hands, they still had the blood of her victims on them, they 
still bore the scent of the gunpowder from her favored weapon, an 
infrared and night vision scope upgraded, military-class PSG-1 sniper 
rifle. She remembered having it upgraded to her own personal 
specifications and preferences. It fired armor-piercing ammunition, 
had ten times the normal targeting zoom range and could be 
disassembled so it could fit in an average suitcase or be used as a 
handgun. She still had it with her but she wouldn’t willingly remove 
it form it’s case. She smell of the gunpowder reminded her too much of 
the many yakuza she shot with it, the smell of the sweat from her 
palms from her early kills. It was a strange was to admonish and atone 
for her past: living with something she loathed. She could never tell 
anyone of those years. Not a soul can know of them.

“Oh, working in a small real estate firm.” She lied with a straight 
face. She was a born liar, capable of making anyone believe almost 
anything. She would have made a fortune as an actress if she didn’t 
hate the limelight so much. “My job required me to move around a lot, 
so I didn’t keep in contact.”

“What were you doing in Hinata Sou then?” Shinobu fell for it. She 
would never have suspected anything even close to what Kanako had been 
doing. Then, a thought occurred to her that frightened her dreadfully. 
“Don’t tell me your firm is selling it! Kanako-san! That place was 
everyone’s home!”

“No, it’s nothing like that.” Kanako assured, a drop of sweat forming 
on her forehead. “I just bought it.”

“You bought Hinata Sou?!” Shinobu’s face brightened up. The thought of 
a member of the Urashima family owning Hinata Sou again after a little 
over three years of being outside the family made Shinobu smile. Her 
old home was once more in the hands of people who knew what magic it 
held. “That’s wonderful!”

“I plan to have it renovated. Shirai and Haitani assure me it won’t 
take more than a week or two to put our old home back to it’s former 
glory, with a few minor touch-ups here and there.” Kanako smiled, it 
felt good to speak the truth. She really did plan on having it 
renovated. It was just a coincidence that Shirai and Haitani would the 
two foremen for the construction team. “And I’ll be keeping that 
little hole.”

“Urashima-senpai and Naru-senpai would appreciate that.”

Kanako paused. She had not even thought of Keitaro since she left. And 
she never received any word from him but that was understandable. She 
intentionally isolated herself from everyone. Yet, she didn’t intend 
on isolating Keitaro, removing her long beloved older brother from her 
mind almost completely. It occurred to her that she really didn’t 
remember them most of the time. Yet, during those dark years where she 
committed at least fifteen assassinations, there was one person she 
remembered and thought of almost every day, if not every hour: Maehara 
Shinobu. The doll of her that Shinobu had made with her own delicate, 
precious, angelic hands was a keepsake and perhaps, it made Kanako 
feel that she was still somehow connected to Hinata Sou. She would 
never forget the nervousness that Shinobu had when she presented the 
doll. It didn’t seem right to her at the time to do anything to 
Shinobu, it was a gesture of kindness after all and she still knew how 
to recognize that.

“I still have it, you know.” Kanako said in a low, hushed voice. “That 
doll you gave me all those years ago. I’m amazed I managed to keep it 
all this time.”

“It wasn’t really much. It was just a clumsy first attempt. I never 
actually made another one.”

“I see.” Kanako stopped, taking a sip of her coffee as Shinobu took a 
sip of her own drink. “If Shinji is Miho-san’s son, where, may I ask, 
is the father?”

Shinobu stopped speaking and turned away. It was obvious that what 
Kanako was asking was a topic of emotional hurt to her and most 
likely, to Miho as well. Kanako noticed a single tear fall from 
Shinobu’s eyes, her expression transformed from one that was happy to 
see an old friend to one that was remorseful at remembering the death 
of a loved one. Kanako would have apologized for it but she didn’t 
want to do so until she was absolutely certain. Slowly, Shinobu 
cleared her thoughts, or so it appeared and faced Kanako, ready to 
answer. For that moment, there was a still silence that felt as 
awkward as it did sullen and almost heart wrenching. There was 
something in Shinobu’s eyes, a sort of confidence or perhaps the 
feeling of having moved on, that made Kanako stop from taking her 
question back. As Shinobu’s hands, angelic as ever and looked so soft 
to the touch, placed her drink on the bar, she prepared to answer with 
a heavy heart.

“His father…Takenori Yoichi…” Shinobu bowed her head, her face 
sorrowful. “…was shot in the head. It turns out he was in the yakuza 
and a rival group had him killed. The police didn’t even show us the 
body; they said it was too gruesome.”

“Takenori…Yoichi…” Kanako whispered. “…No…”

The name tasted awful to Kanako’s tongue. Its taste was that of blood 
and gunpowder. It was not an ordinary assassin that took Shinji’s 
father out, it was a special, armor-piercing bullet fired from the 
only weapon of its kind in Japan: her sniper rifle. Yoichi never 
really worked for the yakuza, he was just one of the many accountants 
of the Kamakura. His mistake was being greedy and ambitious, 
threatening the organization to reveal their secrets unless he was 
given a substantial amount of money: half of everything the Kamakura 
had. The group’s kaisho sent her to kill the poor man. She remembered 
the way his head almost exploded as the bullet burst his skull. The 
way bits and pieces of his brain flew in all directions, the shattered 
bits of skull and the blood; she would never forget the blood. It was 
her bloodiest kill, a sudden change in the wind made her bullet miss 
by only a fraction and the effect was that the bullet forced its way 
through the skull and shattered it along the way rather than piercing 
the skull and stopping in the brain.

“I killed him…” she thought to herself, she was visibly shaking.

She froze that moment. It had never occurred to her that her victims 
could have families, children, loved ones. To her, they were just 
targets to be eliminated quickly so that her kaisho would not suspect 
her of plotting against him. Now, as she looked at Shinobu’s eyes so 
full of hurt, sadness over their loss, maybe even hatred for the one 
that killed Yoichi, Kanako’s heart began to break. She had never cared 
if she had hurt anyone, probably least of all Shinobu, but now the 
weight of her past sins was coming down on her like a relentless 
avalanche. The blood on her hands seemed more present than ever, the 
sounds of her bullets crushing the skulls of her targets repeated 
itself over and over again in her head. She couldn’t bare it anymore. 
She had to leave that place. She would lose her sanity if she stayed 
there with Shinobu. She felt like running away from the weight of 
guilt but as Shinobu’s concerned eyes looked at her, she found herself 
almost magnetically bound to her seat. It seemed that her victims 
would finally find their vengeance.

“Is anything the matter, Kanako-san?”

Kanako could almost feel it. She could almost feel those bullets 
hammer their way into her skull; she could feel those dead souls 
circling her, ready to choke her. Her hands trembled and she almost 
dropped the cup of coffee in her hands. She had to leave that place or 
go mad with guilt. Those were her only options, aside from one other 
option that was unacceptable, no matter what she felt. To run away 
now, at such an inopportune time, would alarm Shinobu; to stay was to 
risk her sanity and her last option, to tell her the truth, would be 
suicidal. Once there was a time when she didn’t care if everyone knew 
what sorts of dark, underhanded things she had been doing but in this 
case, she didn’t want to take the risk. Shinobu may well be the only 
friend she has left; strangely, she didn’t want to risk losing her. 
She knew she had to tell her sometime though, but it didn’t have to be 
now. She had to leave.

“It’s starting to get dark, I had better leave now.” Kanako said as 
she got up, she was trying her best to keep her calm and composure to 
alleviate suspicion.

“What? Why?”

“I don’t have a place to stay yet. And since my old room in Hinata Sou 
is still in disrepair…” Kanako let out a less than sincere smile. She 
had already walked out to get her black suit. “I really must find a 
hotel to stay in. now.”

Kanako didn’t give Shinobu any time to answer. She picked up her 
glasses, put on her suit, picked up her suitcase and walked out the 
door. Then, without warning, it started to rain heavily. Kanako 
noticed three old men on the street across her as she dropped her 
suitcase on the sidewalk. She wasn’t close enough to hear what they 
were saying but she had picked up the skill of reading lips long ago 
and she could make out only three words: ‘confession’, ‘penance’ and 
‘redemption’. The old men vanished into a thick fog as she pondered 
what the words meant, certain they were directed at her. Staying 
still, she looked up to the sky, letting the rainwater drip over her 
glasses, face and everything else. She positioned her hands next to 
her abdomen, the lower arms and palms stretched out, as if to receive 
the rain. The rain only got stronger and within moments, she was 
soaking wet already but she didn’t seem to care.

“God saves no one…” she whispered to herself as her eyes slowly 
closed. “…you can only save yourself.”

“Ah! Kanako-san! What are you doing?!” Shinobu cried out as she saw 
Kanako standing still, getting drenched. Immediately, Shinobu dragged 
her inside. “The rain is too strong for you to go looking for a hotel 
now. You’re staying with us for the night.”

“Th-there’s no need for that and besides…” Kanako was alarmed. She 
might slip and let the secret out if she was around them in her 
condition. “…I’m sure you have barely enough room for the three of 
you.”

“No, it’ll be fine. Besides, wasn’t it even more cramped in Seta-san’s 
van a few years ago? Do you remember that?”

“How could I forget? It felt like you, Motoko-san and me were doing 
nothing but staring at each other for almost seven hours.” Kanako let 
out a little laugh. She needed that, to laugh right now. “Alright, 
I’ll stay if you insist.”

“That’ll be wonderful.” Shinobu smiled as she helped Kanako upstairs. 
“Do you have any clothes in your suitcase?”

“No, they’re mostly legal and financial papers and some…private 
things. The rest of my things are arriving tomorrow afternoon at 
Hinata Sou.” Kanako lied since her rifle was in her suitcase.

“Well, you are probably just my size…”

Onwards to Part 3


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