Reminisce Kanako stepped into the small Maehara café, which seemed like a small scale jazz club to her. There was a small stage where a band could play; the lights were just barely bright enough for a jazz club. She removed the white necktie around her neck completely, removing her black suit and placing it on the coat hanger just beside the doors that opened outwards, a precaution in case of fire. She almost perfectly blended in with the area surrounding her, with her entirely black attire. As if to reminisce about old times, she pulled out a long, red lace from her pocket and tied her hair back the way she used to, with two long protrusions just in front of her ears and one single strand sticking out like a horn. She and Shinobu sat down by the small bar, which almost seemed out of place. Miho smiled as she walked past them, taking Shinji with her to the upstairs, where their living quarters were. “What’ll it be boss?” the young brunette asked as she approached Shinobu. “I’ll just have the usual, thank you.” Shinobu smiled as she faced Kanako. Kanako couldn’t help but look beautiful in the dim light of the café, in the way that some women look impossibly beautiful in the right light Kanako looked impossibly beautiful in the right lack of light. It wasn’t because she was ugly or unsightly but rather because the darkness served to enhance the innate elegance of her face, her modest figure and that cunning smile that never ceased to make anyone who saw it twitch. Shinobu had always noticed that peculiar trait of Kanako’s, darkness seemed to mold itself to serve her will, to take away the imperfections and leave only what Kanako wanted everyone to see. As the girl arrived with a large mocha latte, Shinobu directed the girl’s attention to Kanako, who didn’t really seem to be concentrating on anything in particular. Shinobu had become used to seeing that side of Kanako more than anyone else, the contemplative, serene and almost artistic side of her. Whenever Kanako would be in such a mood, Shinobu had to bring a tray of food up to her room, where she would observe for a while before leaving the shadowy one alone. “What’ll it be, miss?” the girl asked with a bright cheeriness. “A cup of coffee would be nice. Black, preferably.” Kanako answered with her eyes on Shinobu. To Kanako, Shinobu was still that cute, innocent girl that she had encountered so long ago. She still had those blue eyes that could almost melt the ice of Kanako’s stoic heart. Kanako never really had any special feelings for the girl; she initially treated her as a stranger until Shinobu made the first step to breach the gap. It was that doll of made in her image, a doll that Kanako still had, that was the first of many stepping stones to bridging the gap between them. The figure was certainly far, far more attractive now, far beyond anything Kanako’s development. Those long talks they shared on those rare moments alone that they found themselves in were precious to Kanako, who would have traded them for nothing. Shinobu helped her get through losing Keitaro, helped her find the strength to move on. Aside from that, and probably more importantly, Shinobu was the only one aside from Keitaro to treat her as a person. In the long run, that may prove to be even more valuable. “We were so different from one another.” Shinobu broke their silence as Kanako stared into her coffee. Even after all these years, she was surprised to find that they still felt awkward around one another during moments like this: moments when true, emotional bonding was possible. “We had nothing in common and you didn’t really want any friends.” “I remember.” Kanako smiled at the memory before taking a sip of her coffee. “Do you remember what Motoko-san said when she found out we went to a karaoke bar together? We went with Kitsune, at that.” “I remember it perfectly. She said that ‘you should avoid being around Kanako-san. She is a despicable and dishonorable person. She is an even more corrupting influence than her brother.’ Yes, that’s what she said.” Shinobu’s smile seemed to wane a little, which Kanako didn’t really pick up on. “She was right you know.” Kanako nodded her head as she looked on at nothing once more. Once, the admittance of anything other than unconditional and hopelessly devoted love for Keitaro was considered a taboo for her. Now, years in the yakuza have made her develop a hint of a guilty conscience. Perhaps, it may well be the reason why she betrayed the Kamakura. “I’m not really what one would call a wholesome friend. Some might say I don’t have a kind bone in my body.” Both of them fell silent for a while, contemplating how to move their pieces next. Their relationship was, in the purest sense of the words, a chess game. At least, that was how Kanako saw it. She remembered what she saw in those innocent blue eyes the first time she saw her. It wasn’t the little angel that everyone else had seen; it was something different since Kanako always saw things differently. It was a reflection of her from many years ago. Her parents had abandoned her and she knew that was how Shinobu must have felt when her parents divorced: abandoned. Kanako managed to view it all in the blink of an eye, how the girl could easily have stepped and fallen into the same downward spiral that she did so long ago. However, the girl before her know was different from her in every aspect. No, this girl had not gone through the same path that Kanako did. This girl did not fall from grace and it made Kanako let out a sincere smile. “It’s amazing, how different the two of us are despite…” Kanako stopped. Kanako was certain that her companion knew nothing of her past. How the courts assigned her to an orphanage since neither parent was capable of raising her properly alone. “How different we are despite having lived through the same situation as a child?” Shinobu answered with a smile. She knew of Kanako’s past, Haruka had informed her some time ago. Perhaps that knowledge was why she struggled so much to befriend Kanako. “Haruka-san told me about what happened. The divorce, the court’s decisions, how you were adopted, everything.” “So you know.” Kanako lowered her head and removed her rectangular framed glasses and put them on the bar. “Then, you must have understood that, in some way, had you not met me, you might have easily become me.” “Yes, I do” Shinobu bowed her head as well but turned her head to look at Kanako’s downtrodden expression. “I know how it feels.” Shinobu closed her eyes. Not a day passed by in those early years after moving to Hinata Sou without her thinking of taking some measure of revenge. For many years, she could feel the bitterness, the anger, the hurt of betrayal that was deep in her heart. Not even Keitaro, or anyone else for that matter, could have removed that. They helped he through it, overcome it but as the days passed and Keitaro’s attention was slowly directed to Naru more than her, she could feel it again. Slowly rising, like a coiled viper, it was ready to strike again and it threatened to devour her. In a sense, she felt Keitaro had betrayed her. She would never have admitted it though, the fact that her conscience was just a few days from slipping into the void. She could hide it from everyone else but she could not hide from her own thoughts and dreams. The thought of poisoning Naru’s food had occurred to her in a dream at least once. Then, when Haruka told her Kanako’s story, she saw jus what she could become if she had allowed her darker thoughts to take shape. “A life dictated by bitterness, misplaced passions, hatred and the fear of being betrayed that drives one into isolation.” Kanako said to no one in particular. Or was she saying it to Shinobu? It really wasn’t possible to tell. “People like me don’t really change. We only become more what we were from the start.” “No, I don’t believe that, Kanako-san.” Shinobu said with some alarm in her voice. Kanako smiled inwardly, if the girl was trying to save her, she was many years too late. “It’s true; we can’t change what we are. But, I believe, what I do think we can change is…what we become.” “I never would have thought you the philosophical type.” Kanako said as she lifted the cup to her pale lips. In that light, she looked more like what she was years ago, before she had completely given up on herself, when a human heart still beat inside her, as she once put it. “I guess I underestimated you.”
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