It is almost like a war. A war between Duo and Relena over Heero. At least, that’s how it started. Now Relena believes that she lost Heero long ago. She still can’t comprehend that she never had him in the first place. And Duo - being the compassionate person that he is - is rubbing it in her face. He hangs all over Heero, always maintaining physical contact and choosing the ideal moments to engage the Perfect Soldier in a deep, soul searching kiss. I used to believe that Heero was oblivious to the war raging around him. I realize now that it’s quite the opposite. He’s igniting it, keeping it sustained. He runs his hand along Duo’s thigh. He plays with Duo’s braid only when he’s sure that she can see it. Yet he allows her to pull him on the little leash she pretends that she has attached to his neck. I don’t know his exact reasons. I suspect that he’s like me; he infinitely enjoys seeing Relena suffer. But I can’t be sure. He’s so hard to read sometimes. I can hear them at night - Duo and Heero, that is. And I know that she can hear them as well. I’ve never heard more screaming - orgasmic or other - in my life. I sometimes think that Duo has to be faking it, forcing it. But he’s not. I can tell that it’s entirely real. They’re just not holding anything back. There’s a genuine ring when they both scream, “I love you” within seconds of each other. And I think it’s the genuineness of it that breaks Miss Relena’s heart. And sends her into my room, to prove to Duo - and maybe even herself - that she really doesn’t need Heero. So she slips into my room after the session down the hall is over and all is relatively quiet. She is crying and shaking, although trying to pretend as though she isn’t. She throws her legs around me, entangles her fingers in my hair, kisses me deeply, and tells me that she needs me. I normally tell her that I know and welcome her persistent hands. Then it’s quick and fast, just as I like it, and I wish that Duo would never leave. Relena screams extremely loudly, but that’s no change from usual. Except now there is someone else to hear her. Things are different tonight, however. She’s not so impatient. Her hands aren’t so hurried. She isn’t bawling as she normally is, but her eyes are red and puffy so I know that she has been. I wish that she would have waited until she was with me. I wonder if maybe that was why she stopped so early tonight, because she realized that her tears thrill me. I wonder if maybe she has finally figured it all out, this game we play. “You taste like blood,” she tells me. “You always taste like blood. Why is that?” She kisses my thigh so tenderly that I want to push her away. She’s not supposed to be this gentle. Our nights weren’t supposed to change. “I don’t know.” I scrape my nails across her arm and relish the red marks I make on her pretty white skin. “Hm.” She kisses me and digs her own nails into my hip. She’s learned to fight back. I admit that I’m impressed. And a little excited. “We’re going to kill each other,” I murmur as she begins to move against me. I know that this means she longs for intimacy, when she doesn’t want to bother with fingers or tongues. She wants to be as close as possible so that she can delude herself into believing we have something that even remotely resembles a loving relationship. She builds her life around those delusions sometimes. I adore watching them shatter. “Perhaps.” A strangled moan escapes her throat as she moves faster. “But I don’t mind.” Our gazes meet, and I can see that she’s close. Her skin is flushed and her eyes are clouded and faraway. Blood drips from our entwined hands from nails sinking into skin, although I don’t know which of us is bleeding. “At least I’ll die with you,” she continues, throwing her head back. “And not Heero.” Her body begins to shudder, and I follow moments after, holding her close, feeling everything around me crash and burn. Her words echo in my mind. Not Heero. It is almost like a war. Wars are beautiful. And so utterly complicated.
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