Relena is terrified of spiders. I know this because I was present when she spotted one in her limo. It was a fairly good sized one, but it was the same color as the seats and I probably would not have noticed it had she not shrieked loudly upon glimpsing it. She made me kill it because she was too frightened to get close enough to do it herself. "I hate bugs," she told me as she smoothed out her dress. "Especially spiders. Horrible creatures, bulging eyes and so many legs." She shuddered in disgust. I found myself imagining a black widow crawling on her skin and the way she would convulse as its tiny legs inched up her body. I wondered if she could bring herself to brush it away and kill it then. She probably couldn’t. Then I found myself wondering if one could truly be considered a pacifist if she was having spiders and other such creatures killed. It is, after all, an act of violence on a species that is innocent. That spider didn’t do anything besides crawling into the wrong pink limo. The dispute between the two could have been settled peacefully; we could have disposed of the insect without killing it. Isn’t that the basis of pacifism? So Relena is not only foolish but a hypocrite as well. It is dinner now. Relena decided earlier that we would eat outside, to prove something to Duo I’m sure but I can’t fathom what. So the four of us are sitting in a charming little picnic table set up this afternoon near the back door. Relena is talking about something, her right hand waving back and forth to emphasize whatever point she is making. Heero is next to her, listening intently and staring blankly at the sky, his book lying abandoned by his plate after Relena told him politely to put it away so they could converse. Duo is sitting beside me, folding his napkin into origami animals and tapping his foot continually on the ground, causing our seat to shake slightly and my patience to stretch. And I’m watching a spider crawl across the wood table, traveling slowly in the direction of Relena’s left hand that remains sitting still. It is tiny, less that a centimeter in length, and I’m sure that I’m the only one here who is observant enough to spot it amongst the other dots on the table. It’s black with a yellow stripe down the center of its body. Although it could be a light orange. I really can’t tell from this angle. As I said, it’s too small in size for it to be poisonous so I opt not to mention it, only survey it carefully. I so adore insects. They are truly superior to human beings. Even the most harmless of them has the ability to frighten such large numbers of people with its mere presence. I once had a praying mantis as a pet when I was younger. An unusual pet, I know, but I loved it. I named it Mars, the god of war. I kept him in an aquarium, like one would keep a pet tarantula. He was larger than a normal mantis, at least 3 inches, and a much more beautiful green. I particularly enjoyed his eyes, so supernatural. At night when I was alone, I’d open a window and let a fly or two get inside the house. Then I’d let Mars out of the aquarium and watch him catch and eat them, slowly as though savoring every bite. I was fascinated. He died when I was 12. To honor his death, I flooded an ant colony and destroyed four spider webs and one egg. The black spider in an inch away from Relena’s hand now. It’s proceeding at such a low speed. I wish it would hurry up. Duo has stopped playing with his napkin. He and Heero are currently staring at each other, and I can see that they are having a silent conversation with their eyes. If Relena notices, she doesn’t care and keeps talking. She lifts her left hand suddenly to brush her hair out of her eyes, and I wince and inhale as the spider jumps back somewhat. Luckily she returns the hand to the table a second later, this time a little closer than it was before. I stare at the spider, willing it to continue. It takes a hesitant step forward, its front two legs rising to rest on Relena’s skin. With a smirk, I raise my eyes to stare at her. She doesn’t falter; she obviously doesn’t notice. The spider has now advanced up to her thumb and is moving significantly quicker than before, as though it somehow knows exactly what I want and is willing to help me achieve it. Arachnids are such lovely things, almost as good as a praying mantis. Almost. A high-pitched shriek fills the air as Relena swats at her hand, sending the spider sailing through the air. It lands on the table in front of Heero. He blinks at it for a second until Relena begins hissing "Kill it!" loudly. In a swift motion he picks up his book and brings it down on the tiny insect. Duo and I both jump. Heero lifts the book, and I can see the spider on the table, its legs twitching and curling as its life leaves it. I feel odd, guilty, and I look away. Duo begins coughing suddenly, but I can hear the underlying laughter he is concealing. Apparently so does Heero, as he suddenly glares daggers at the other boy. Relena is white and I can see her chest heaving. She smoothes out her skirt, and I grin at the familiar gesture and the memory that it conjures. "Such a dreadful creature, isn’t it, Miss Relena?" I say, hearing the amusement in my voice and not bothering to hide it. She doesn’t respond, only continues to stare at the corpse on the table and idly rub the back of her left hand, to relieve herself of the ghost still creeping and crawling on her skin. If I concentrate hard enough, I find that I can still see it.
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