However, resting presented a problem Asuka hadn't counted on. Her apartment was a single bedroom affair and she had no sofa. She'd never really expected guests, so she didn't even have spare bedding. When this was pointed out, the response she received was typical Rei.
"I can sleep on the floor."
"No you bloody can't," said Asuka, "you'll freeze to death with only those clothes to keep you warm!"
And she probably wasn't exaggerating all that much. Winter hadn't quite crept up on Kaibyaku, but it was unseasonably cold for the time of year and the apartment's heating system wasn't all that reliable. Asuka chewed on her lip as she looked around for a solution.
"Fine," she said, at last, "It'll be a bit cramped, but we can both sleep in my bed for tonight."
Rei looked a little concerned by this.
"I've only ever slept alone before," she said.
"It'll be fine," assured Asuka, "as long as you don't kick me out of bed. We're both girls after all."
Rei still looked worried, but she nodded anyway.
Pyjamas were the next order of the day. Asuka rummaged through her drawers again and then handed Rei her spare set. They were a cool blue colour that matched Ayanami's hair, while the pair Asuka wore were pale pink. Then they each sat on opposite sides of the bed while they changed.
"No peeking," growled Asuka as they did so, and she smiled to herself a little. When she had changed, she jumped under the covers to get away from the chill air that was getting colder by the minute. The heating still hadn't come on, and perhaps wouldn't now. Still, there was nothing to be done about it.
Rei turned off the light and got into the bed much more carefully than Asuka had. Then they both lay on their backs, side by side, their shoulders touching. For a while the quiet was a little uncomfortable as Asuka stared up at the ceiling, tired and yet wide awake. She glanced across at Rei and saw she was doing the same.
"Hey," she said, returning her eyes to the ceiling, "talk to me?"
"About what, Asuka?" asked Rei.
"Tell me how Shinji is doing," said Asuka, "where is he? What is he doing?"
"He seems to be doing much the same as you are. He has a small house, he does jobs, he helps people. Major Katsuragi lives nearby. She helps him."
Asuka looked at her again.
"She loves him, doesn't she?"
"I don't know," replied Rei, "if you think she does, then probably."
"I do," said Asuka, then after a pause: "You have feelings for him as well, don't you."
Rei looked at her, mildly.
"Of course," she said, "we are biologically related, after all."
"Oh!" exclaimed Asuka, "Well, yes, I'd forgotten about that..."
"You have feelings for Shinji too, I think," said Rei, taking her by surprise. Then the surprise subsided and Asuka sighed. It wasn't that much of a revelation anyway, even if Rei was the one saying it.
"I did," she replied, "I made a mess of it though... we both did. Now, I don't know..."
They stared into each others eyes for a little while, not needing to speak, feeling almost as though their minds were touching in the dark.
"Rei," said Asuka after a while, turning her body towards Rei, "your eyes are amazing."
The blue haired girl looked away.
"I never liked my eyes... I always hated the colour red."
"But I wore red all the time..." said Asuka, then her eyes widened. "Oh..." she finished, lamely.
"It wasn't because of you," said Rei. "Red was a bad colour. It was the colour of the tank in which I was grown. It was the colour of the dying sun. It was the colour of blood..."
"It still is as far as I'm aware," said Asuka, then immediately regretted it. To her own ears, she sounded as if she was mocking Rei's pain. To try to cover this up, she went on. "Hey, do you still hate red?"
Rei turned her head towards Asuka, looking at her with wide eyes.
"I don't know," she said, "I think, partly, it was because I hated myself."
"I think we all did that," replied Asuka, then her eyes widened again, "hated ourselves I mean, not..."
Rei looked at her as she trailed off and Asuka saw nothing in her face that suggested she had offended her. Asuka felt relieved. Probably it would be impossible to hurt Rei with words, even if they were intended maliciously. She sighed again and closed her eyes.
"Gaah, I think everyone at Nerv was screwed up – me especially. It was a screwed up place at a screwed up time."
Asuka felt Rei shift next to her then there was silence and stillness, save for the motions of their breathing.
Perhaps she wants to go to sleep, thought Asuka and decided to keep her eyes closed in case slumber would come to her also. In fact, she was just drifting when she felt a light touch on her cheek, as fingertips brushed her skin.
Her eyes snapped open and she saw Rei watching her intently. Her hand withdrew as they stared at one another. Asuka was suddenly wide awake once again, her heart beating significantly faster than it had been moments before.
"What are you doing?" asked the young German, breaking the silence between them.
"You looked peaceful," said Rei, her expression and tone neutral.
"Of course I did, I was almost asleep!" replied Asuka.
"I've never seen someone sleep peacefully before. I wonder, do I look the same when I sleep?"
Okay, okay, she was just investigating, that's all, thought Asuka, nothing to worry about.
And why should she be worried? She'd already said that they were both girls, what could possibly happen? She tried not to think about how flushed she had suddenly become.
"H-How should I know?" she replied, "I've never slept with you before, you could kick and scream for all I know!"
And now she was trying not to think of the words 'slept with you' in such close proximity to the word 'scream'.
This is stupid! she thought, She's a girl, you're a girl, neither of you swing that way.
Well, maybe, but even if that was true of herself, how could she be sure of Rei? Wait, no, the Rei she had known wouldn't ever think about those kinds of things, surely? Besides, she probably didn't even know about those kinds of things. Sheltered was an understatement when applied to the former pilot of Eva Unit 00. But then –
Stop thinking about it! her mind screamed, Or you'll never be able to sleep!
"Perhaps you could tell me sometime," said Rei. And with that, she closed her own eyes and settled against her pillow.
"Yeah..." said Asuka, in an uncertain voice, staring at Rei a little warily. She found herself still watching Rei rather too many moments later and forcibly shut her eyes.
"Asuka?" said Rei, making her eyes snap open again. The girl next to her still had hers closed, however.
"Yes...?" Asuka replied slowly.
"You have soft skin," said Rei in a faint voice.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! said her mind, helpfully.
But then she found that she was smiling, in spite of herself. Smiling at the way she was behaving.
I really am stupid, she thought, Rei is Rei, and I am me. Something like that could never happen.
And with that, she closed her eyes one final time.
"Goodnight Rei," she murmured, as sleep stole over her.
No
answer came.
Back to The End and After - New Beginnings Index - Back to Neon Genesis Evangelion Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction