I tried a different dialouge style for this chapter, in deference to review advice. Tell me how I did.
Momomi’s breathing was very regular. She was definitely slumbering lightly, without snoring. If she did snore, it would no doubt be a genteel mockery of a snore. It’s pretty ironic. She’s the one going through a major crisis, one that will probably determine the course of her life from now and forever. But I’m the one who can’t sleep. Kaname glanced across the room, just about picking out Momomi’s features in the half-dark. Her hair fell in thick, untidy locks around her, spread across the pillow. Her baby-like face moved gently as she breathed, making her seem far too young for her true years. It was a childish, sweet face, that made her cutely petulant when she was frowning and radiant when she smiled. In short, a face that bears no relation to her personality. In a very weird way, that entirely suits her personality… she’s the one who deceives people. Even now, though, I find it hard to work out why she doesn’t play on that prettiness and innocence more. She could take the whole school in, but she doesn’t. Does she really trust no one, not even to draw them close with lies? Oh, I’m exactly the same, but I was born to be like that. On her, it feels like something’s actually wasted… what exactly am I meaning, anyway? My head hurts.
Kaname sighed and looked at the ceiling, closing her eyes for a moment. I feel stupid. Even so, there’s too much to think about. Why did all that have to happen in one day? It feels… unfair. Somehow. That’s a stupid, childish expression of frustration when the world throws something unexpected your way. In a way, this should be fun. Showing up a bunch of aristocrats is always good. Plus this way, Momomi will need me, just a little, I know that. It’d be very easy to call this a game I’m playing, to kill time. I may even have told her that. But I’m up this late and thinking, because I’m afraid. That’s right. This sense of unease, discomfort with the future, that’s definitely what you’d call a kind of fear. It’s playing on my mind and nerves. Because I don’t want to lose. Really, genuinely, and totally. At the same time, I’m afraid of that fact that I’m afraid to lose. Even when I lost to Amane, it didn’t matter really, when I never cared. Now I’ve started to care and that means it’s far easier to hurt me, and I live a life like this because I don’t want to be hurt. Isn’t Momomi the same? Exactly the same. But she can sleep, and I can’t. That’s one of the things that worry me most… at the same time, why is it important?
Kaname scowled, rolling over and pressing her head into the pillow, trying to block out her thoughts. But they continued to spiral, dozens of electrically spreading thought, contradicting each other moment by moment, and thoughts about thoughts that was sensation. I feel like my life was, perhaps, one of Momomi’s mirrors. A very smooth, reflective surface, that took in nothing at all, but turned it all back flawlessly. Only she broke it, and now there are shards of glass everywhere, and light reflecting off a thousand different facets and scattering that simple invulnerable purpose everywhere. I’ve always walked in a straight line, but now it’s fading, breaking and diffracting. She smiled despite herself. Momomi’s right, she thought wryly. I can’t do figurative language at all. Even so, though, I’m surprised. I’ve grown used to being alone, and even when I’m not alone, I keep my mind apart. I thought even if I had to tolerate Momomi just a little, I’d be able to do that. It seems that friendship is more dangerous than that, to someone weak like me. But, can you even call it that? Friendship? We love to hate each other, and that’s hardly friendship, but neither of us are as simple as the caricature we project to each other and the world. Before, perhaps, I was that. But now it feels like I’m playing a role because I myself don’t understand the more complex truth and so I stick to the simpler me because that’s all I know… but that’s not it, as I say things the simple me would never say, and they seem right even though they sound wrong. All I can do is go with it. I’m not complex like Momomi, or strong like her. I’ve never been anything but myself, and I’ve always been simple, until now. I can’t do anything but trust my instincts, but I can’t know that those instincts can keep me safe any longer. So I don’t know what to do at all. I’m useless and weak like that.
Kaname decided to stop thinking before she went any further. That kind of idiot self-doubt could go on all night. My life was a lot easier when I had no doubts at all. Only I did have doubts, and I still do… no. That’s enough. It’s simple, isn’t it? If we win, I can think on it. Just like Momomi won’t have a reason to not be popular after that, I’ll have a chance to think and act. If we lose, I won’t regret keeping this kind of idiot doubt locked inside. Only I might, after all… she laughed again, softly, then muffled it.
“You’re noisy,” Momomi whispered.
Kaname almost tripped over herself as she twisted to look at Momomi. “Did I wake you?”
“I wasn’t asleep.”
“You what?”
Momomi put a finger on her lips, a gesture that somehow carried across the dark room. “I’m the deceptive one, right? I couldn’t sleep at all…”
“You too,” Kaname winced. “I thought you were deep asleep!”
“I didn’t want you to think I was afraid,” Momomi said.
That stilled Kaname’s voice in an instant. Then she sighed. “So you couldn’t sleep either.”
Momomi looked at the ceiling. “Yeah. I guess it isn’t as easy as we pretend it to be.”
“It’s easy!” Kaname exploded. “We’re just afraid to lose. But we’ll win!”
“Not so loud. The sisters will hear.”
Kaname snorted quietly. “I think we both know that the sisters let others get away with more than that.”
“I guess so,” Momomi murmured. “And you’re afraid to lose, too.”
Kaname turned her head, looking annoyed. “It’s just to win. I don’t like to lose, and I won’t lose, not to someone like your father.” Even she had to admit that her words sounded hollow. It was always like this.
Momomi smiled slightly. “I’m glad. It reminds me that I have a chance, with someone like you on my side.”
“Well, of course,” Kaname said, closing her eyes for a moment. “It’s not that I’m doubting myself. But…”
“Perhaps Kaname is worried because she has to look after me as well, and I’m a weak little girl?” Momomi suggested.
“Something like that.” Kaname looked guarded. “You’re not completely useless. But having objective aside from oneself is a novel experience.”
“I think I know what you mean.” Momomi chuckled softly. “In fact, I know I know what you mean.”
“If we make mistakes together, it cancels out. Didn’t you say something along those lines?”
“Not that exact phrase, but that was the spirit,” Momomi agreed.
There was a moment’s silence. Kaname suppressed a sigh. First one then the other, we mess with each other, or maybe both at once. “So we’ll get by.”
“Yeah.” Momomi was silent for a moment. “I guess you’ve done this before, really.”
“What?”
“When you came here, that was your freedom,” Momomi said. “So it’s possible.”
“Well, I suppose so. But that was breaking away from a mother who was happy to be shot of me, and a father who had been shot.”
“My situation’s a little less convenient in that respect,” Momomi said thoughtfully, looking up at the ceiling.
“Don’t be too jealous,” Kaname said. “You do have a family to go back to. Your sister, at least.”
“I know,” Momomi whispered. “But really, I don’t know…” she sighed. “It’s a hard feeling to place, but home was never somewhere where I could be safe or happy. I’m sure you know that feeling. If you don’t have that, it seems to me it doesn’t matter how many family members you have. It’s all the same.”
Kaname thought for a moment, then shrugged. “That’s right. But it’s not like I’ve ever been secure or happy anywhere else. Except this room, perhaps, just a little. But it’s a tiny little boxy space and the outside of the school is definitely not the place to feel safe.”
Momomi turned to face her for a moment. “Funny how alike we are in that. But you’re right, in a way. Its not like I want to be away from home forever… but I don’t want to go home. Does that make sense?”
“A little.”
“It’s just…” Momomi sighed. “When you came here, it felt good, right? To do something on your own?”
“I felt happy,” Kaname said. “But it also brought home to me how little I had, except everything I could seize for myself. You have something, so you should think more on it.”
“I think about sis, sometimes. I wonder what she’d want.”
“You have to look after yourself.” Kaname stretched, pretending disinterest. “If your sister’s anything like you, she’d recognise that. But you’re not me. You have to think.”
“I know,” Momomi said. “But I can’t live like that. I don’t want this. I want to be… like you. To know that everything I have is everything I could take- it’s my dream. Ever since I met you, I knew that. Before, I just knew I hated my life without ever knowing why…”
Kaname smiled. We’re both so stupid. “Never let yourself regret that. But if you can hold onto that, then we can win.”
“We won’t lose,” Momomi said softly.
“I know.”
“And after we win, things will be different.”
Such a sweet, mysterious voice. A promise rich with promise. Kaname was awake long after the brown-haired girl had fallen into genuine slumber. Just a test… just a test. Always a test. Right?
They dressed in silence, that comfortable silence that was entirely theirs. This time Kaname was a little more careful with her hair and necktie. Then they left together, eating swiftly and silently. When everything had been planned and said, there was nothing that needed to be articulated. In a way, those moments were relaxing. A sense of purpose was as good as routine, after all. Kaname watched Momomi, and waited. This was Momomi’s battle, after all. The girl’s eyes darted across the canteen, picking out Shion, a reserved figure at the edge of a group of chatty third-years. “Let’s go,” she said.
“Right now?” Kaname asked.
“Right now.” Momomi stood and dragged Kaname up by the shoulder.
“You’re feisty today.” Kaname followed her, still slightly sleepy. So much excitement this early in the morning.
“Things to do, and little time.” Momomi tapped Shion on the shoulder, ignoring the girls who had turned to stare at them. “We need to talk to you.”
The third-years gave her hostile looks, but Shion just closed her eyes and smiled. “10:45, by the large elm by the lake. Is that alright?”
“That’s fine,” Momomi said tensely. “Don’t be late.”
“Remember to go to your lessons.” Shion smiled even more luxuriously, cocking her head. “There’s no excuse not to do that.”
“Yes, yes.” Momomi turned and walked away without another word.
Kaname looked back to see Shion glance back at her, running a hand through her blonde hair and smiling ironically. Then she walked after Momomi, catching up. “We’re really going to lessons?” she asked.
“She’s right,” Momomi sighed. “We have no choice. What can we achieve right now by skipping them? The Etoiles sure as hell won’t be doing that.”
Kaname nodded in agreement.
“Remember. 10:45, the elm. We’ll both need to be there; I intend to promise you as well.”
“Okay.” Kaname paused by the door and looked round. Yep. Everyone’s looking at us. I hate that. They’ve probably heard about Momomi, haven’t they? What’s it to you, you aristocratic twerps? She glared, feeling her body stiffen, then stepped quickly through the door.
They parted ways, heading to their morning lessons. I hate to admit it to myself, but today of all days I can only despise the facts that they were in different classes. As it was, I can’t concentrate at all. No, I’d probably be even more distracted if Momomi was near her. How is the girl taking it? What is she feeling? Was she fretting nervously, drifting through the droning of the sister with her mind on these stupid, introspective thoughts? More and more, I compare myself to Momomi and wonder. More and more, Momomi is becoming my frame of reference. If Momomi is feeling the same fears, facing the same uncertainty, it’s okay. Other people don’t matter. It isn’t like anyone cares about me. If they noticed the way she was, they didn’t show it. I’m alone. I’ve always found that comforting. But Momomi would care. I… care about Momomi. That was why it’s okay just so long as she is the same. As long as Momomi doesn’t think I am stupid, it’s fine. And, more and more… Momomi is eclipsing Amane as the one person I care to measure myself against. Am I lowering my standards now?
Kaname smirked. No, Momomi is worth far more than Amane. Maybe she doesn’t have that girl’s absolute edge, in studies and in sports, maybe she’s not as popular, perhaps she can’t call herself my absolute rival, perhaps she isn’t as perfect, but… Momomi has a battle to fight, and people important to her. Do you even understand, Amane? What it is to struggle? Do you know what it means to work and suffer for your ideals against the world? Or are you just too sheltered to ever know? You’ve never wanted anything, because you’ve always had everything. That’s why you’re so indifferent. Perhaps I can’t beat you, you snooty little bitch, but Momomi’s stronger than you’ll ever be. From her background, she had to fight. From the same background, you’ve never done anything but graciously accept everything offered you, and a lot of the time, you don’t even do that. Is that what it means to a be chosen one? Society likes fixing the card games of life…
“Kenjou! Pay attention!”
“Yes, Sister,” Kaname muttered, bowing her head and returning to work.
“I’m glad I’m worthy of your valuable attention,” the Sister said, to general amusement that had nothing to do with wit and everything to do with Kaname’s unpopularity. Well, she was used to that. “Now, where was I… the critical moment of the campaign was when Napoleon split the allied armies. They had anticipated an attack on Mons, which would have allowed for a lightning attack on Brussels, splitting the British and the Prussian forces apart and driving them to the sea. Instead, he aimed to seize a crossroads known as Quatre Bras and split the allies apart, by cutting off their routes of communication. He was partially successful in this, splitting the allied armies apart. It appears that the initial intelligence reports of the march on Quatre Bras were disregarded by cavalry officers due to the anticipation of an attack on Mons, and never reached the British High Command.”
Misdirection, poor communication, and a little boldness. Kaname sighed. I’ve heard about so many battles. They’re all the same, though, just the same human strengths and flaws being exploited and exaggerated until they determine the fate of nations. It feels almost stupid.
“However, Quatre Bras was barely held on the first day. This was despite the unreliability of the Dutch allies present, many of whom considered themselves French. Outflanked with the retreat of the Prussians, however, who had faced the majority of Napoleon’s army, the Anglo-Dutch forces were obliged to retreat to the village of Waterloo. On the following morning, they made a stand in the face of Napoleon’s main army…”
Kaname drifted away again. She’d heard it all before. She’d always reckoned she’d make a good general. She could think straight and see her object clearly at all times, it was what she did. Maybe Momomi could do the trickery and stuff… but that was something to do. She looked down and picked up her pen, switching to a fresh page. This was a war, after all. It was time for General Kenjou to plan her campaign. She started by listing words across the page, their allies and enemies. That made sense to start.
Me. Handsome, incredibly intelligent, strong, uninhibited, experienced with the scholarship exam…has no friends, social skills or money. Kaname sighed. More willing than useful, truthfully.
Momomi. Beautiful, intelligent, weak, uninhibited, a great liar… has no friends or money and uncertain social skills. Not so different from me, despite the leagues of distance that separate our pasts.
She looked up surreptitiously. The best thing about this was that it looked like she was studiously writing notes. Shion, who’ll be of uncertain use. The Etoiles, who are very important. Serané who loves family and is reasonable and sympathetic. Kariya who is fierce, independent and doesn’t like me at all. The Sisters, especially the Superior, who mostly dislike us. Momomi’s family, who are the main foes. Her sister, who might come around. Her mother, who might also agree while remaining useless. And… her father. The belligerent and stubborn final boss. Oh, and list that horrible enemy “term fees” along with all the others. It’s a long list and I don’t like anything on it.
Kaname looked down at her scattered list, feeling vaguely pleased with herself. Now, think like Napoleon. No, Napoleon lost, think like Napoleon’s love child with a female Wellington from a parallel universe. Now that’d make one heck of a story. Napoleon and Amy Wellesly, a tale of tragic love. But that’s off the point…misdirect, indeed. Divide and rule. But allies make you strong, that’s how the British and Prussians won. Weaken the enemies and their will to fight. Set them against each other. Don’t just recruit allies; make their battle your battle. That’s what war is. I won’t lose.
She worked out her plans in her head and on paper until break time, trying to work out how Momomi would react to each suggestion, and how practical they would be with the resources at their disposal. She tried to work out their priorities, too, what came first and what came later. It was difficult to work with so little information, but this was only a preliminary. Momomi had more information on her family. Shion was an enigma but, all things being well, would eventually show her hand. It wasn’t going to be easy or complete. Even if everything went flawlessly, they’d need luck and improvisation. This would merely be the best way to maximise their chances. In Kaname’s experience, all plans came down to that, in the end. But the process reminded her of that day, almost two years ago now. She’d realised that primary school was ending. She’d realised the dreary future that lay ahead of her, in an under-funded school stuffed with drug addicts, nymphomaniacs and vandals. And that was just the teachers. So she’d done research and thought things through and planned something, for the first time in her life. It didn’t come very naturally to her, and she was acutely aware that her plans tended to have rough edges. But it still felt good. It made her feel in control again. I wonder whether Momomi has something similar. We can compare notes.
She threw her books into her bag the moment the bell rang, shouldering it and racing out of the classroom. Not for the first time she cursed the excessively long corridors they had at Astraea, carrying on down the stairs. She thought she heard a Sister shout, but pretended not to hear, shoving past an alarmed first-year. Break was way too short. They had far too much to talk about. She ran out the door of the main building and charged up the path, dodging out of the way of anyone too inconvenient. Then she reached the verge of the forest, ducking inside and sprinting between the tightly spaced trees. She was an excellent runner, and the experience exhilarated her enormously. The track club had actually solicited her a few times, usually by senpais who hadn’t heard of her fearsome reputation. She’d never accepted, of course. It was too much like hard work. But just occasionally she wondered how good she’d be if she actually applied herself to something outside her studies. Yeah, right. As if I have the time with my studies. If you pay stupendous sums of money to be here, you have time for extracurricular activities, but honour students can’t afford to be that casual. She jumped past another tree and almost crashed into someone.
“Kenjou-san?” Serané said, her eyes widening slightly.
Kaname slid to a halt. “What are you doing here at this time?”
Serané cocked her head, resting a hand on her cheek. “You shouldn’t run so fast, you know. You almost ran me over.”
“Sorry,” Kaname said. “Gotta go.” She turned and moved on.
Serané fluttered her eyelids slightly, watching the girl run. “Such a strange girl,” she murmured, stepping on.
Kaname heard that, gritting her teeth, but bore with it. What the hell was she doing? Whatever. No time. I’m there. She slid to a halt in front of the elm, a single lonely tree in the middle of a slight clearing in the forest. It was a popular spot whenever people wanted to be alone, or more generally, alone with someone else. Which was one of the reasons why she’d run there. Hopefully Serané wouldn’t spot where she was going and think something strange.
Of course, she was the first one there. When she actually stopped to think, she wasn’t sure why she’d run so fast in the first place. Now she was out of breath. It was probably something to do with being cooped up so long in a classroom, when she wanted to get out and do things. Even so, it was pretty embarrassing. She stuck her back against the tree and tried to get her breath back.
Shion turned up a few minutes later, rather more composed. “Kenjou-san,” she said politely, nodding. “Kiyashiki-san isn’t here yet, I take it?”
“That’s right.” Kaname folded her arms. “You know, you’re a lot more polite when you’re not calling us sad losers.”
“You’re never polite,” Shion replied. “But it’s moot. I hope Kiyashiki-san has something interesting to say. This is to do with the rumours of her being taken out of Astraea, right?”
“That’s already a rumour?”
“Of course,” Shion said, closing her eyes. “For those who know where to listen, there’s nothing that can be hidden. It’s true, then?”
“That’s right,” Kaname admitted. “Honestly, how did this happen? It was only yesterday we heard about it.”
“My guess is that Kariya talked. Serané is the conscientious ones who would deal with these things, but Kariya is talkative. Besides, we knew something was up.”
Kaname scowled. “Christ, why did she even tell that bag of hot air? It makes things so difficult for us. The stupid bitch.”
“Bed talk, possibly,” Shion said.
“That was speculation I wasn’t ready for, thanks a lot.” Kaname closed her eyes and trying to scrub her mental retina.
“Speaking of that, you and Kiyashiki-san have been getting on better recently,” Shion said. “I heard someone saw you together by the lake.”
“That was just a trip outside for me and my roommate. Nothing more. So don’t think disgusting things.”
“Yes, yes.”
Annoyed, Kaname fell into the silence that she was most comfortable with, closing her eyes and pretending that the other girl present didn’t exist. The third-year already felt like an annoying intrusion, someone that spoke far too readily of the society of Astraea. Something she was all too willing to shun, personally. So it was definitely annoying. Who the hell cares what she thinks, anyway? Stupid loner girl.
Shion herself looked equally comfortable with the silence, leaning against the tree a few feet from Kaname and closing her eyes.
Suits me just fine. Useless blonde bitch. I don’t know why Momomi thinks she’ll be any help, a girl like this. What talent does she have? Kaname frowned. Well, fine. Even I have to admit it sounds like she has a knack for information gathering. But is that worth making a pact with this devil? She’ll want something in return, and however I look at it, it’s going to be a bother. Something for Spica, whatever the hell that means. I just want to go through life without having to fight battles that don’t involve me. Why should I care about something as intangible as a mere school?
“No Kiyashiki,” Shion noted. “She’s taking her time.”But I’ve already betrayed all that, haven’t I? For Momomi, that’s either for her sake or my sake. It would be even more painful to believe that I’m doing that for my sake. Either way, this is a battle I’ve chosen to fight. To win, I’ll do whatever becomes necessary. She didn’t tell Shion that, though. She’d definitely be sure to discourage the girl if the topic was ever broached. Perhaps she could wriggle out of it somehow. In the meantime, she wouldn’t dignify Shion was a reply.
After five minutes, however, it became impossible to ignore, especially as Shion was starting to check her watch in a very pointed fashion. “I’m sure she’s just held up by something,” Kaname said irritably.
“I didn’t say a word,” Shion replied serenely. “But now you’ve broached the subject, she is very late under the circumstances. Did she get lost or something?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Well, it’s not my problem, I suppose.” Shion flicked a stray strand of hair over her shoulder. “It’s not my problem.”
“You aloof bitch,” Kaname growled.
“Are you any different?”
Kaname gritted her teeth, restraining herself. So annoying. It would be way too easy to punch some sense into this girl, but she couldn’t do that. She had to consider Momomi now. That was pretty inconvenient at times.
“In any case, this isn’t an impressive-”
“I’m going,” Kaname said, pushing herself off the tree.
“What?”
“I’m going to find her.” Kaname spoke as if it was obvious. “And I’ll drag her back here by the ear if need be. Happy?”
“So you are worried about her.”
“Worry has nothing to do with it. I’m just annoyed that she made me wait.”
She left the glade at a slow walk, not looking back at the blonde girl. She gave herself ten seconds, stopped when they passed too fast, and repeated the process, making herself count slower. Then she broke into a run.
“So, you’re going somewhere,” Akimi said.
“Well, yes.” Momomi leaned back, trying to look unconcerned. “That’s why I’m walking.”
“Smartarse. You’re leaving the school, though, I hear? Finally worked out you don’t belong?”
“You’re mistaken. I’m not leaving. Sorry to disappoint you in that respect.”
“Oh, what a shame.” Akimi narrowed her eyes.
Momomi tried to walk on but the girl stepped in front of her, expertly shoving her against a tree. “Was that strictly necessary?” she said as lightly as she could manage. Her eyes flickered but the other girls cut her off from any possible retreat.
“You’re a mouthy one. But that’s all you are. Talk. You don’t have anything else.”
Momomi put on her best mocking smile. “I’m satisfied that I’m not like you. At least I have a talent. I’d hate to be a completely plain girl.”
Akimi slapped her, almost lovingly. “What right has a freak like you have to condescend to me?”
“Well, I’m not the one harassing an innocent girl five to one,” Momomi riposted, ignoring the stinging pain on her cheek. She earned another slap for her trouble.
“You really shouldn’t go to the forest all alone, you know. Trees are very dangerous things.”
Momomi’s eyes flickered between the girls, resting on Olesa for a moment. She stood slightly apart from the others on several levels. Another half-European. Quiet, cunning, ostensibly innocent. As a master of the false image to another, she had to recognise the girl’s skill. Olesa was the real enemy here. She managed to slip one hand into her pocket, closing it around her camera phone. “Why are you doing this?” she asked.
Akimi laughed at her. “Do you really want to know? This is revenge for what your fucked up girlfriend did to us. Besides, a freak like you should be punished.”
“But why do you bother to come back again and again?” Momomi laughed. “Kaname hurts you every time, you’ve never beaten her outright. And it’s only a matter of time before you’re caught.”
“The Sisters are way too complacent. Besides, no one’s going to stick their neck out for someone like you.”
“You’re the ones sticking your necks out, though,” Momomi said thoughtfully. “What’s the point?”
“Because we enjoy it? Isn’t that obvious?”
“You enjoy having your nose broken?” Momomi said, raising her eyebrows.
This time, Amiki punched her in the stomach, making her double over. “You sure are noisy,” she muttered.
“But really, you’re just being used, because you’re pathetic. You’re just used by someone who doesn’t care to get her own hands dirty.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Momomi ignored her. “And I do wonder why I’m targeted. What value is there in attacking a loser like me?” She looked at Olesa with challenging eyes. “I suppose that’s a way of acknowledging me as a dangerous rival. I’m flattered.”
“Don’t get too up yourself, you bitch,” Amiki slammed her hard against the tree and slapped her repeatedly. The other girls merely watched. Momomi had no idea whether they found the spectacle distasteful or entertaining. As it was, she tried not to react too much, but couldn’t help a gasp from escaping her lips as the pain continued. Amiki was good at what she did.
She fell to her knees, choking back tears. Come on. Come on now, damnit! Amiki slapped her in the face, knocking her over. She pushed herself, looking up at Olesa again. “And when I’m going, too,” she managed. “Are you this afraid of me?”
“What the hell is she talking about?” Amiki said, turning to her friend. “Anything important, Perez-san?”
Momomi pressed the buttons blind, praying silently that she was getting it right. “She knows,” she gasped. “She knows what I mean.”
“It’s nothing,” Olesa said quietly. “Just nonsense. She’s trying to distract you, that’s all.”
“It isn’t nonsense,” Momomi said. That should be it. She’d catch “distracted”, hopefully. “I’m not a target that’s been selected at random.” Acknowledge me, you bitch.
“You shouldn’t be talking,” Amiki said. But it looked like she thought that further effort was unnecessary.
“What is it you want? Why do you see me as a rival? Exams? Popularity? The student council? Etoile?” Momomi managed a cracked smile. “I must say I’m flattered.”
Olesa said nothing, looking at her in an odd way, as if she was mad. Sometimes Momomi wouldn’t whether she was. Perhaps she was totally misjudging the situation.
But she didn’t think so. “But, all the same, it’s pathetic that you pick on a target like me,” Momomi said. “That just shows you don’t have the strength to assert yourself after real threats. But I’ll give you credit for seeing that I could be so much more than I am. Shall I oblige you? Shall I rise to your challenge?”
“There’s no challenge,” Olesa said. “Only your delusions.”
This girl, this girl, this girl! “And Kaname? How does she fit into your world? Is she your main rival? You’ve been after her a lot longer than you chased me.”
Olesa said nothing. The others weren’t doing anything, simply because Momomi’s apparently mad ravings were entertaining.
“Well, I can guess,” Momomi continued. “Etoile is a position for two, after all. A pair, joined by love and perfection. Kaname shines a lot brighter than either of us, so it would be fine to bathe in her glow. Except she has such a troublesome attitude… wouldn’t it be so much easier if she feared you?”
Olesa frowned, looking bemused.“You’re still nonsensical. You shouldn’t strain yourself.”
“Oh, really? I think that’s it. Or something else. It could be Amane, couldn’t it? She’s even more perfect to most people, and you can’t deny Kaname’s obsession. Eliminating your rivals might be sensible, but…”
Olesa quirked an eyebrow.
“She’ll never acknowledge you.” Momomi savoured the words. “Never ever. Amane is an untouchable star, a star alone. She’s way beyond your reach. Amane’s a better match for her, and even that will never work. It’s hopeless, Olesa, you’re the one who’s delusional. There’s no way anyone will touch Amane’s heart. Least of all a minor, scheming two-faced liar like you. Didn’t you know? The truth is something you find in the light.”
Silence, then Olesa turned away.
“Riding on Amane’s horse,” Momomi whispered. “Standing by her. Holding her hand. Using her power, her radiance, reflected on yourself, because you aren’t that great alone. Or perhaps you really have fallen in love with her. You want to be with her and steal her glory. Because of that, you hate us both. Kaname’s who’s closer to being Amane than you can ever be. And me. Smarter, more beautiful and a better liar, someone who knows what you are. Perhaps that. Or with Kaname or me or anyone else, because it has to be with someone and it can’t be you alone, you’re not that popular… I’m smart enough to know it’s just a dream. You’ll never be Etoile.”
“She’s being annoying,” Olesa said quietly. “Hurt her.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Amiki said, turning back to Momomi and cracking her knuckles. “You do talk some crap. Done embarrassing yourself now?”
“I’m done.” She tried to stop her body from shaking as euphoria flashed through her. Yes! I got you. I got you, you little bitch. Checkmate. Checkmate!
Momomi looked up, the triumph in her eyes fading slightly. Unfortunately, that victory wouldn’t stop the pain that was to come.
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