Kaname sighed, staring out of the window again. Another day, another pointless, boring lesson. More and more, my life is like that now. It alternates extended tedium with frenzied activity. Let’s see… about this time yesterday I was wondering what I should do or say to try and find out what Momomi thought of me, at great length, with painstaking detail, and with a lot of circular strands of thought. Before that I was cleaning a Church, which was a result of the day before, where I’d charged in to protect her from Amiki and got myself badly hurt in the process. And after that I ended up in a weird food game with her in our lunch break, waited for her after school, got wet and cold and miserable, then received her message and Olesa’s, making me wet and cold and miserable and pissed beyond all belief…and we had a big argument which we both probably deserved, but an argument which settled. She cried and I ignored her, because I was that annoyed. And then I spent a whole evening being annoyed with myself and how annoyed I was, and upset as well, and wasted a lot of paper and a lot of time whiling away the hours thinking stupid things and judging that, on the balance of probability, we’d never be friends again. But that all resolved itself the next morning, and now we’re trying to fool her father into believing that this is a wonderful school for Momomi. However you look at it, that’s way too much activity in far too short a time.
She closed her eyes, sighing. That’s more in a week than anything I’d have to talk about of note in any given term of my first year, though. It’s tiring and pretty annoying, but I guess tedium broken up by bursts of activity is better than tedium interspersed by boredom and brief periods of monotony. That’s what Momomi’s done, I suppose, drag me into a troublesome series of situations that require my full attention. But it’s not like she did that at first. It’s a recent development. So, what exactly? Why are we suddenly so busy now, when we had so much luxurious time to lounge around and snipe at each other before? I suppose it all started when we agreed to stop her father from taking her away from this school. Everything else followed with annoying rapidity, the moment we actually decided to do something rather than just drift around. But then again, working with Shion, standing up to Olesa together, not as individuals, the Etoiles, heck, doing things as a pair as opposed to just apart, they’re novel too. When we started doing that, though, things got very chaotic, very fast, and interesting too. Is that a part of our cold war with her father? Or was our cold war with her father caused by that teamwork? It’s impossible to separate cause from effect in situations like that- both might easily be true, in part if not as a whole. And somewhere along the line, we became friends of a kind, which is the weirdest thing of all. I’m not sure how I sleepwalked into enjoying her company, but it happened somehow. I just have to get used to it.
And I need some rest, too. God, I’m so tired. Kaname yawned hugely, continuing to look out the window and down to the yard below. Her maths teacher was resigned to her continual mental absence, so she could do this freely. Suits me just fine. I get excellent results on the tests, anyway, so she can hardly fault me under those conditions. Perhaps not right now, though, this exhaustion is really getting the better of me. I’ll only ever admit it to myself, but I didn’t get enough sleep last night. Up too late chasing myself round in little mental circles like a dog after his tail. Up too early in the morning to brood under the cold air like a dog fetching the morning paper for his master. And always with her in mind…I should probably get more than one friend. As it is, with the novelty of the thing, I spend too much of my time thinking about her for it to be anything like dignified. Not just last night, but trying to work out how to beat her father, helping her against Olesa and Amiki, abetting her slightly suspect dealings and everything else, it doesn’t feel right to put that much into anything. Even if she’s sincere, that doesn’t mean I feel right in my head, and it’s something that’s remained. I’m giving my all, which is considerable, to help her, but I don’t have anything of my own to demand payment in kind. I don’t really have dreams or ambitions right now, and that’s worrying enough in itself. It’s like getting to Astraea took so much out of me that I don’t have anything more to give, and it hasn’t been great here anyway. I guess I was naïve to think that everything would be wonderful if I just got to a specific school.
Kaname put her head in her hands, for reasons that had nothing to do with tiredness. However I look at it, I probably would just have stayed in my room and continued a meaningless existence if she hadn’t transferred here and pricked me out of my apathetic funk. She slapped herself on the cheeks, to wake herself up or to banish the thought, she wasn’t sure which. But, then again…is she any different? What would she have done without me? After a few weeks of struggling with social inertia and Olesa, she ended up just like me, but precisely because of that we at least managed to keep each other on our toes. And now she’s somehow found it in her to fight this big pitched battle of wills with her father. The same girl who said her life was so bland and dull she snuck outside and walked through dangerous parts of town just to get some sense of excitement in her life. She doesn’t really have any life plans or aims, either, and where I came to this school with a sense of purpose that quickly faded, she was sent her as a mitigated punishment, and never had any sense of purpose at all. We were both the same in that respect. So why is she fighting so hard now? It’s not like I’m arrogant enough to claim it’s because of me… for someone like her, exerting herself, finding a friend shouldn’t be too difficult. And even if that was the case, if she was to realise that was her reason, she’d stop and go back home just to be able to say she wasn’t bound by her feelings. She’s like me in that respect… dishonest. She might use prettier words and play around, but in her heart she still has that dignity which keeps her a little apart from me, and me from her. Even now, I don’t think that’s changed. We both have some pride. A relationship where all those barriers are broken… wouldn’t that just be scary? You’d be so completely naked and helpless before them, I can’t imagine that at all.
As it stands, though, she’s fighting, fighting for a cause that was in part thrust upon her, but it’s still a battle she chose for herself. That’s something I can only envy. So why is she going this far? Because she loves Astraea? Yeah, right. There’s no love lost there, she thinks about as much of this place as I do. It’s one of the things we have in common. This place, with that cutesy sense of place and community, to the point of role-play, everyone part of this great play that’s the romance of the Etoiles, the power struggle of the Student Councils, and the interaction of the newest and the oldest students, cutting across the boundaries of age… it must be fun to belong to. But it’s just a fake, set to rules that make no sense. Age is nothing but woe betide you if you’re from different schools; even Etoile pairs can come from different years, but not from different schools, in the exact same way. The many happily worship the few, however well or badly the few do, but they’re accountable to no one. For as long as they’re popular, they’re untouchable. Perhaps even then, tradition will guard them. Most of all, though, it’s a system which has nothing to say to those who don’t buy into the game, those who fall through the cracks. That’s what we both know so well. To their credit, I think the Etoiles know as much as all this, but it’s like a dictatorship, in more ways than one. They’re exceptionally powerful, they have a personality cult, and everything hinges on whether two girls selected for quite different qualities can lead, guide and protect hundreds of students. She doesn’t have any particular love for a system as daft as that, even if it tells a good story.
That’s an aside, though. That’s not it. Perhaps it’s this hate for her father, which she feels so fiercely…that would be typical of her and me alike, to grow so strong from resentment and a sense of necessary freedom. She won’t be controlled, so she’ll control other people instead. That’s Momomi’s logic. All the same, however obnoxious her father’s company is, there’s still her sister, and her mother, too, though supposedly she’s annoying as well. But what’s the competition from Astraea? Shion? Amiki? Olesa? I want to think that they’re still tools to her. That’s a bit hypocritical of me, I know, considering how desperately I wanted to avoid that title. But I want to be able to say that I’m her only friend, even as I say that I want more friends. No, I think it’s closer to the mark to say that I want her to be the same as me. If she had people she could call friends aside from me and I had none, I’d just be dependent on her again, while she’s free of me. And that scenario sometimes feels all too likely. But, as it is, those three aren’t reason enough to stay. Olesa and Amiki are probably some reason to go. She decided to stay long before they became important, too. So I’m the one who’s been by her side ever since she decided to fight, but it’s still hard to say what that means. How much does she need me? I still don’t know that, even if I get the sense that she needs me. What does she require of me? Is it enough for me to silently support her while she plows ahead? Do I merely have to tolerate her by my side? Or does she want me to fight with her and say what I say to encourage her? I should ask, but it’s too embarrassing a question to pose. Well, it’s fine. It’s more a thinking point than a major crisis of my faith, to be honest.
Kaname frowned, her forehead wrinkling slightly. Well, certainly I still have doubts, and not everything’s settled. That’s to be expected of real people and real emotions, things aren’t giftwrapped and tied up in a bow for the happy-ever-after. Even if they were, ours isn’t that simple a story. And I still think about her a lot more than I’d like to. But it’s not like I have anything else to think about, so whatever. The bell rang to mark the end of the lesson. Kaname packed up her books and slid them into her bag, her mind still distant. I suppose it comes down to a matter of interest. Momomi is interesting, and leads to interesting events happening around her. Even if I wish things could be different in small ways, that’s probably better than being completely indifferent to everything. Last night, too, I’m beginning to believe that ties like that don’t have to be weakness, because even if they can cause pain they make you feel alive. But I can’t forget the pain, either, so that’s probably just something I’ll think for as long as I get vaguely happy endings…
“Kaname-chan?”
Kaname blinked and woke from her reverie to find several students standing over her. Her eyes narrowed; it had been a while since the last time that they’d dared to approach her, because she was generally considered weird, violent and scary. Which doesn’t put me in a good mindset for considering their motives now. “Yes?” she asked sharply.
The leader- Yuho Oyo-something… Oyokawa?- leaned forwards without much preamble. “We were just wondering what you were doing with the Etoiles,” she said sweetly.
Kaname gave her a blank look, then remembered. Late for History, and said it was because of the Etoiles- with a note from them, no less. These things are important to some people. “Oh, that.” She considered her next move and decided that obstructionism would be pointless. Honesty might even be more entertaining. “Oh, we were just talking about Momomi’s family, because they’re coming to visit on Friday. Just stuff about that, you know.”
Yuho frowned, looking slightly surprised. “And the Etoiles were speaking to you about this? Surely it only concerns Momomi-chan.”
Don’t call her that. You definitely don’t know her well enough for that. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Kaname said neutrally. “It’s mostly a room-mate thing.”
“Are you a couple?”
“Huh?” Kaname gave her an incredulous look, wishing she hadn’t wasted one on the initial question.
“Well, that’s what all the rumours are saying, and it would make more sense,” Yuho said, shrugging.
“Only in this school could that question be remotely constructed as normal,” Kaname said. “We’re friends, no more, and no less. The concept may be alien to some people here, but that’s the way it is.”
“You stick together very closely for just friends,” Yuho said accusingly.
I could give her the truthful answer to that… nah, that’d be too impolite even for me. “Well, I suppose so. But she’s a good friend, after all.”
Yuho stared at her for a few moments, as if wondering whether to call her bluff. But in the end she just stepped back. “Someone like you should stay away from the Etoiles.”
Kaname chuckled at her retreating back. I wish I could, girl. I wish I could. She checked her watch, her smile fading, and sprang from her seat. Of course, with her being annoying I’m in danger of running late, which is annoying. Not that I’m going to run, that would be undignified. All the same, she walked fast through the corridors of the school, to the canteen where she knew Momomi was waiting. She swept the crowded room with her eyes then picked her friend out of the line, walking there without hesitation.
“You’re late,” Momomi said.
“Sorry, Momo-chan,” Kaname replied, with her best Serané voice.
Momomi giggled then tried to adopt a straight face. “Momo-chan… my, my, that doesn’t work at all. You’re not cute enough to call me something like that, I’m afraid.”
“Huh. And that stuck up lady is cute now?”
“Serané-sama has a kind of grace and formality, so when she uses an intimate term for someone, it really means something. But with you, it comes across like you’re patronising me just before you mug me.”
“Oh, thanks. I really appreciate that sentiment.”
“Well, you’re more like Kariya, really. It can’t be helped.”
Kaname sighed dramatically. “Worse and worse. You know how to insult me, that’s all I know.”
“Why are you late, anyway? Being chewed out by a teacher?”
“Close, but no, so you can’t help me and feel needed this time around.” Kaname yawned pointedly, shrugging her shoulders. “Just some girls. They asked me about the Etoile meeting this morning, and warned me to stay away from them.”
“My, my,” Momomi said, smiling thinly. “I never knew we were so popular.”
“Well, you know how it is. There are too many groupies who’d pay to be in even our mediocre position.”
Momomi nodded. “Which is particularly ironic, really, because our main qualification for that role is being… what is it… problem students?”
“Well, if it’s problems they want, we’re the ones to oblige,” Kaname said. “Oh, and that reminds me… they asked whether we were a couple again. The girls, that is, not the Etoiles. That’d be weird.”
“Really? That’s spread fast.”
“It’s just ridiculous. However you look at it, that couldn’t be a normal question anywhere but here, where being weird like that is what’s expected, not the exception that makes the rule.”
“You’re right,” Momomi agreed. “It’s a statistically improbable environment, I suppose. But… how do I say this?”
“So I put her right about that, anyway,” Kaname continued. “Well, this is why we should be careful before playing your silly games again. Sorry, carry on.”
“No, it was nothing,” Momomi said. “But it’s not like what they say matters much, Kaname. Surely we shouldn’t mind what they say, whether or not the rumours our true?”
“You just want an excuse to steal all my egg again,” Kaname tutted, shaking her head.
Momomi sighed. “Well, it doesn’t bother me too much, anyway.”
“It’s not like I’m bothered as such,” Kaname said. “But still, some things are too weird even for people to talk about, don’t you think? You were the same when all those people were watching, right?”
“I was,” Momomi admitted. “All the same, that doesn’t mean that I’m proud of it, nor does it make it mature.”
“Oh, come on. There’s nothing immature about wanting to distinguish between friend and lover. That’s important.”
“How about friends with benefits?” Momomi suggested. She giggled at Kaname’s expression.
“I don’t like the things you get from those romance books of yours,” Kaname said seriously. “And I certainly don’t like the whole cult built up around the Etoiles.”
“Now that, I can agree with,” Momomi said. “Though I don’t think the Etoiles like it either. The way I see it, if they weren’t in the spotlight so much they could just be a normal couple.”
“They seem to get by just fine,” Kaname noted, selecting her habitual lunch.
“Well, of course, but you know how Serané is. Everything has to be proper, with her.”
“I think that’s just Serané,” Kaname replied. “She’d probably be like that anyway, Etoile or not.”
“You’re probably right.”
Kaname followed Momomi as she headed to the elm, a step behind her friend. I suppose we’re through with the canteen for now, under the circumstances. There are way too many bothersome people there, and I’m not afraid to say that.
“We’ll be meeting with Olesa and Amiki, remember,” Momomi said.
“I got it, already. Have you worked out what we’re going to get them to do?”
“Don’t worry about that. I’ll be keeping them very busy.”
“I should think so, too.” Kaname sighed. “We still have to do the Church thing, don’t we?”
“I’d almost forgotten about that,” Momomi sighed. “Don’t remind me. I need to talk to the Etoiles about that. Preferably Serané-sama. But none of us can afford that time while my family is here. Hopefully we can delay it.”
“For once, they have a useful ulterior motive,” Kaname said. “Though that’s a little freaky in itself. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, she’s taking this way too seriously. If my mother told me she was going to start matching me up to a partner, I’d laugh her out of the room.”
“Well, Serané-sama is like that. Besides, it’s only an arranged marriage, so she can always refuse her consent at the worst. I guess that’s what you’d do, though, where she’s using this indirect method.”
“I don’t like the way she tries to please everyone. That kind of thing will never work in the long run.”
“This from the advocate of total victory?” Momomi asked. “No, even if it’s hard I think I can understand. We’re not from happy families but for someone who is, it must be difficult. I don’t blame her for wanting everything.”
“I guess so,” Kaname agreed. “But means she has to risk the most important thing.”
Momomi frowned at that, and they walked on in silence.
“You’re late,” Olesa noted coolly.
“Sorry, Ole-chan,” Kaname smirked.
Olesa just gave her a baffled look, then turned to Momomi. “So, do you have our tasks?”
“Okay. Hang on a second.” Momomi sat down and stuck her back to the tree, gesturing for the others to join her. “So my family will be here from Friday to Monday. During that time I must secure my future here and Serané must break off her engagement.”
“Understood,” Olesa said. “I confirmed the details with Tomori-senpai.”
“That girl gets everywhere…” Momomi sighed. “Sometimes I wonder whether she knows more about these things than the actual parties involved. In any case, you two, unlike me, have some degree of popularity. So to begin with, I want you to make sure my family’s well-treated.”
“And their motivation? Not even we can just give orders, you know,” Amiki said, folding her arms.
“Say it’s for Serané, which is sort of true. I’d try and find someone to seduce my cousin, but that’s probably impossible around here. So, the next part of the agenda… Amiki, Kaname, try not to break anyone that week. Especially not each other.”
“I’ll bear that in mind,” Kaname said. “But I made a promise which I intend to keep.”
“Promise?”
“You mean you don’t remember?”
“Unlike her, I’m not psychotic enough to go through violence withdrawal syndromes,” Amiki said. “So that’s not a problem.”
“And on that note, Olesa, I know you have an axe to grind with my father, and I sympathise- I hate him too- but only raise that subject when I give the order.”
“Yes,” the girl said briefly.
“Give the order? How will mentioning that kind of thing ever help?” Kaname frowned. “Emotional blackmail?”
“It won’t help it all, rather it would cause problems. But it would be funny, at least, if it’s all over anyway.”
“Ha,” Kaname said. “Well, I’ll give my warning, too. You hate your father a lot, Momomi, but be civil and polite. That’s important.”
“I know, already,” Momomi frowned. “I’ll just have to live with him.”
Olesa looked up briefly and frowned. “Something wicked this way comes,” she said, in perfect English.
“Huh?” Kaname blinked, then looked over her shoulder.
“Heya,” Shion said, waving. “I thought you’d be hiding here.”
“You’re late,” Kaname said.
“Sorry, but I had to deal with some of my little friends in first year again,” Shion said. “They’re sweet, but I hardly know them.”
“Wrong answer,” Kaname muttered.
“Do you have another picnic?” Amiki asked enthusiastically.
Shion shook her head, sitting down. “Just my own lunch. If I let them do too much, I become more obligated to them, which makes me feel guilty. So I try not to abuse them.”
“I think you already have, talking about them like that,” Momomi noted, looking annoyed.
Kaname smirked. Probably just at being interrupted, though. But Shion’s always a little surprising. I suppose paying attention really does win you friends and admirers. I just don’t have her energy about people. Damned if I’ll admit as much, though. “So you’re here to scrounge food off your second year friends instead, then?”
“Something like that,” Shion said, smiling. “Though I’m also here to support you. There’s a lot of important things underway right now, no?”
“You’re completely right. And I was talking about them before you turned up and interrupted me.”
“Forgive me, General Kiyashiki.” Shion kept a straight face. “Please carry on with your briefing.”
“Ugh. Humour doesn’t suit you,” Momomi said in a low voice.
“Such an offensive girl,” Shion replied amicably, balancing her bento on her knees and opening it up. “Oh, and congratulations on not being too pig-headed, you two.”
“Now you have to go and find your Isae,” Momomi reminded her.
“This time next year, perhaps. You’re not finished yet, Kiyashiki-san, far from it.”
“In any case, the most difficult of tasks I’m assigning you two isn’t exactly one you’ll relish,” Momomi warned. “But I hate it too and so will Kaname. That’s to say, it’s necessary for me to have friends if I’m to fulfil the stereotype of the happy student.”
“You should really vary your diet a little more, you two,” Shion chided through a mouthful of rice. “It can’t be good for you to eat the same thing day after day. Perhaps I’ll treat you all to something better at some point.”
“So we are to pass ourselves off as your friends,” Olesa said. “What will that entail?”
“Well, the usual stuff,” Momomi said, shrugging. “I will introduce you to my parents. Be serious, my father can’t stand flippant people. So he should love you for just as long as he doesn’t realise that you’re your mother’s daughter.”
“That much shouldn’t be difficult.” Olesa narrowed her eyes. “I can deal with idiots like your father, provided I can keep my temper in check.”
“Quite… and we’ll need to keep up a façade, too. So it will probably be necessary to meet up in the mornings and in breaktime and lunchtime.”
“So, you mean, you’ll have to go to a predetermined location and eat your lunches together,” Shion said. “Fancy anything, Kenjou-san?”
“Not particularly, thanks,” Kaname said, eating her own lunch in swift mouthfuls in between glaring at Olesa and Amiki.
“And we’ll need to attend club activities, too,” Momomi mused. “What do you do, Olesa?”
“I attend the computer club regularly. Though I also go horse riding from time to time.”
“Playing computer games in school time, eh?”
“No, actually,” Olesa said flatly. “But I wouldn’t recommend it for you. I doubt you’d be able to keep up.”
Momomi flushed as if she was going to take the challenge, then shook her head. “Well, I’m not interested in such a dreary thing… how about the literature club? We will both join that for these five days. I expect you to be useful, too.”
“Is that an order?”
“That’s an order.” Momomi folded her arms. “I thought you’d be less confident about anything that isn’t hard numbers.”
“I may not be especially gifted, but my talents in this field can match your own,” Olesa replied. They glared coldly at each other.
“You still doing the karate thing, Amiki?” Kaname asked.
“That’s right, but I doubt you’ll be very welcome there,” Amiki warned. “I do kendo as well, though. Do you think you can do that? We’re pretty exclusive, and lead by Kariya-sama herself.”
“No problem,” Kaname replied. “It’s just a matter of reflexes and fitness, so I’ll be more than fine.”
“Don’t take that sport likely,” Amiki warned. “You’ll get hurt if you do.”
“And the same to you, if you take me lightly.”
Shion sighed. “You’re all as frisky as ever. Just to warn you, even if you’re just faking an activity it’s not easy. I suggest you practise with the few days you have left to prepare.”
“That’s best,” Momomi agreed. “Oh, and try and stay in the kendo club until Friday, okay, Kaname?”
“Yeah, yeah.”
“You’re all hopeless, talking like this,” Shion sighed. “Why can’t you all be friends anyway?” She opened one of her eyes a little and grinned. “Too much to ask?”
“Definitely too much to ask,” Momomi said, speaking for the group.
“It’s funny, because you’re all so alike… no, perhaps you dislike each other precisely because you’re all similar.”
“We’re not alike, either! Definitely not!”
“Totally,” Kaname agreed. “Don’t compare me with these guys.”
“This is one of those rare moments when I actually agree with Kaname,” Amiki said. “So we can both fight, that’s it. I’m nowhere near as deceptive and insecure as her.”
“Oh, really? Well, I’m no lackey with a dog’s loyalty and no free will, either!”
“At least I have some friends and a purpose in life, where you lack both,” Amiki said. “You just spend a long time doing nothing, and now you’re dependent on Momomi just to have something to do.”
“Yes, yes,” Shion said, shaking her head. “I understand, already. Shall we just eat our lunch in a vaguely amicable silence?”
“Smartest thing you’ve said all day,” Kaname remarked. She prodded her umeboshi philosophically.
“Ah, and Kaname’s next move?” Momomi teased.
“That’s easy. Close your eyes and open wide.”
“My, my. Ahhh…”
Kaname fed her a piece of fish, watching with a straight face as Momomi choked in surprise.
“Hey! That’s cheating!” Momomi protested, coughing. “Ugh.”
“Don’t be too surprised.”
“I’m getting you back for that,” the brown-haired girl warned, massaging her throat. “Round two starts here!”
Shion looked between them and the other pair, who were methodically and silently exchanging food. “Hmm,” she said. “Well, here we have exhibit A.” She pointed at Kaname and Momomi. “That’s to say the newlyweds, who have the excitement of novelty but are still a little inexperienced. Whereas exhibit B, Perez-san and Rivera-san, are the longer-term partners. They’ve got it better organised but there’s a sense of routine, too, which blunts the spontaneity.” Shion leaned back, sighing dramatically. “I guess that makes me the lonely, ageing bachelor figure. Poor me.”
“Here you go with your weird observations,” Kaname said. “It’s very annoying.”
“That’s pretty hypocritical of you, who says the weirdest things at inappropriate moments,” Amiki said.
Shion shrugged. “I just say what I see. You can’t blame me for that.”
“That’s my line,” Kaname said.
“In any case,” Olesa said, breaking out her chopsticks. “Once we’ve done this, we’re through, right?”
“That’s right,” Momomi said. “That was our agreement, and I intend to keep it. You can delete anything compromising for you on my phone.”
“Good.”
“And I’ll want to have yours, too, for that. If I know, you’ll have recorded our original conversation on this subject.”
Olesa shrugged and nodded. “You’re just the same.”
“You’re both such bad girls,” Shion said, amused. “Conspiracy everywhere.”
“And I still owe you one for Kaname,” Momomi said. “Bear that in mind.”
“Your words were your own, so you owe me nothing. It is up to you to take responsibility for them, not lay it on me.”
“Ha. You can say that, but I’ll still do what I like, you know.”
Olesa smiled thinly. “Then give me your best shot, Kiyashiki-san. I’ll be waiting.”
Momomi was about to reply, but she was cut off when Kaname stuck the umeboshi into her mouth. “It’s annoying,” the blue-haired girl said. “Just eat your lunch.”
“Alright, alright.”
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