Black Rose, Blue Thunder (part 13 of 19)

a Ranma 1/2 fanfiction by Dreiser

Back to Part 12
	"We have to find out the relationship they had."

	At this statement, all gathered in the sitting room gave a 
solemn nod while exchanging serious looks. It was early in the 
morning, far before they had to go to school for the day, and they 
were busy conversing about all the various worries they had about 
Kodachi's past and current relationship with the Kung Fu star, 
Kuonji Ukyo.

	Well, everyone except Ranma.

	"I think you're all nuts," said Ranma with a snort. "Why do 
you even care what sorta relationship Dachi had with Ucchan? It's 
none of our business and whatever it was, it's obviously over with." 
Ranma paused to smirk, "And she's got a new man who's oh so 
much better."

	"That's up for debate," said Tatewaki dryly. "As for why 
we're interested in my sister's romantic past it's very simple. Unlike 
you, Saotome, some of us care for her welfare. Who knows what 
Kuonji might to do Kodachi's delicate sensitivities now that he's 
returned to her life."

	"I don't believe you, Ranma," said Nabiki. "You're telling 
me that you don't care what relationship Kodachi had with Ukyo 
and might end up having again?"

	"That's the past," Ranma scoffed as he wore a face of 
disinterest and looked out at the koi pond. "And I never was very 
interested in learning about ancient history."

	"Whatever you say," Nabiki said in droll tones. "But I'm 
still concerned. Was it just me or did Ukyo look terrified to see 
Dachi?"

	Simultaneously, everyone paused to think about this before 
they said, "He looked terrified."

	Looking satisfied at this, Nabiki turned to Ryoga and said, 
"What about you, Ryoga-kun? What kind of relationship do you 
think they had?"

	Blushing a bit at Nabiki's attention, Ryoga recalled Ukyo's 
smooth and charming behavior around Nabiki and twitched. He 
then said slowly, "I think they both dated and Kuonji still isn't over 
Dachi yet."

	"But didn't Kuonji speak of another girl with whom he was 
in love?" murmured Tatewaki. "It's possible that he broke up with 
my sister to date her and perhaps Kodachi did not take the news 
of this very well..."

	"You know," said Nabiki thoughtfully. "That almost makes 
sense. It certainly explains why he wasn't happy to see her. What 
do you think, Ranma?"

	When Nabiki turned to where Ranma had been sitting she 
was met with an empty space.

	Smiling at this, Nabiki said, "Nice try, Ranma-kun. You 
don't care about Dachi's past at all, huh?"

	It's true that con artists are expert liars amongst other 
things but there is one thing even the most talented of con men can 
never lie about.

	And that's feelings of the heart. Particularly, when that 
feeling just happens to be love.

	Love was something that Ranma found himself deeply 
entrenched in when it came to Kodachi.

	Which is precisely why he just left to find her.

---

	"You," Cologne said as her eyes narrowed by a rather 
dangerous notch. "What are you doing here?"

	"You know," said Siren with an easy smile and a toss of 
her blonde head. "From all these less than ecstatic greetings I'm 
getting I'm starting to think that people aren't happy to see me. It's 
all very troubling."

	"Siren," began Cologne in warning tones. "What are you 
doing here? I demand that you tell me."

	"You demand?" asked Siren as she quirked an eyebrow. 
"You certainly haven't gotten less imperious, Cologne, but you're 
still looking ever the Elder. Tell me," Siren's smile widened. "Why 
do you persist in denying your heritage just to fit in? It's so very 
unlike you."

	Hearing this, Cologne's eyes blazed fire and she said in 
low dangerous tones, "That's none of your--"

	"Grandma Siren!"

	Siren barely had time to take in Shampoo's bubbly frame 
before the lavender haired Amazon pounced on her for a tight hug.

	"What is you doing here, Grandma Siren?" exclaimed 
Shampoo. "Shampoo haven't seen you for two years and now you 
showing up in Nerima? What is for?"

	Smiling at Shampoo's exuberant nature, Siren gave the girl 
a gentle hug back before she pulled away from her and cupped 
Shampoo's cheek tenderly.

	"Well, now," said Siren softly as she pushed some loose 
tendrils of hair out of Shampoo's eyes. "Aren't you the picture of a 
perfect Amazon Champion? You look beautiful as ever, Shampoo. 
And to answer your question I'm here to train Tendo Kasumi as a 
Mage."

	"Aiyaah," said Shampoo with wide eyes. "That very big 
and important job for Kasumi." Her gaze then narrowed a bit and 
she said, "Why Perfume not telling Shampoo about such big 
news?"

	"I don't know," said Siren humorously. "Perhaps you 
should go and ask her, Shampoo dear?"

	"Good idea," said Shampoo in grim tones. She then turned 
on her heel and shouted, "Perfume Cousin! You no get away with 
keeping secrets from Shampoo!"

	"Don't waste too much time," Cologne said. "You're going 
back to school today, remember?"

	"Shampoo remember!" called Shampoo as she dashed up 
the stairs and towards the room she shared with Perfume. 
	
	When Shampoo left the room Cologne turned to face 
Siren and said, "How did you manage to convince the tribal Elders 
to allow you to train Kasumi as a Mage?"

	"It was really quite simple," said Siren with a smirk. "All I 
had to do is point out that with Kasumi as my apprentice there 
would be one more Mage in the tribe. One more that actually 
might listen to them."

	"Cleverly played," Cologne murmured. "But as I seem to 
recall, Kasumi had her heart set on being a Healer I don't suppose 
that you talked her out of that decision?"

	"Hardly," Siren replied in dry tones. "I simply explained the 
abilities that she would have as a Mage and she immediately 
accepted my offer. That's all."

	"Right," said Cologne skeptically. "Then why do I find 
myself not believing a word you say?" 

	"I'm sure I don't know," said Siren smoothly. "Force of 
habit, perhaps?" She paused to study Cologne more closely then 
said with a serious expression, "I'm not doing this on a whim, 
Cologne. I need an heir. Someone to continue the tradition of 
magic in both the tribe and in my family. Kasumi is my only option. 
Not only that, the girl has a hidden strength about her. There's a 
fire inside of her that's just waiting to get out. And it would be in 
our best interest if we were the ones to feed that flame."

	"I know," said Cologne with a sigh. "Kasumi holds great 
potential. We must watch her closely."

	Forming a teasing expression, Siren quirked a blonde 
eyebrow then said, "We is it?"

	"Oh, shut up," said Cologne rather grouchily as she turned 
on her staff and hopped out of the room. "I'm not a fool, Siren. I 
know when to fight and when to withdraw. I won't contest you on 
this but I will be watching you."

	"Good," Siren called in sensuous tones. "I've always 
enjoyed being watched by pretty women."

	At this, Cologne snorted before she hopped out of the 
room entirely to leave Siren standing alone.

	Still smiling, Siren's blue eyes narrowed and the smile 
faded as she murmured, "Why you persist in keeping up this 
charade is beyond me, Cologne. But at least while I'm here I can 
have my usual fun irritating you."

	"Oh yes," said Siren with a chuckle as she strolled out of 
the building and onto the busy street. "I'm already starting to like 
the idea of living here. This should prove to be a very interesting 
experience."

	At that moment, Siren didn't know just how much of an 
understatement that would prove to be.

---

	Standing on the far side of the dojo rooftop, Ranma gazed 
at Kodachi's trim figure. She was gazing off into the horizon and 
the way the sun danced off her figure gave her an almost angelic 
glow.

	Despite what many would call a less than innocent past 
and a definite habit of doing things illegal in nature, he still thought 
Kodachi to be an angel in many ways.

	She was so kind to him... kinder than anyone else he 
knew. And she understood him so well, never punishing him for his 
mistakes, and never taking away her love.

	Now Ranma was a confident guy. He had been raised to 
be that way by his mother and his mom helped enforce that 
confidence in him as well. Not to mention his father and brother. In 
fact, Ranma's entire family was a huge boost to his confidence 
levels.

	They helped make him into who he was today.

	But still, more credit should be given to Kodachi because 
before her, Ranma never truly felt understood. He felt loved 
before. Even appreciated and admired but never had he met 
anyone who understood him like Kodachi.

	It was like that word Akane was always using, the one in 
her shojoai mangas, they were soulmates.

	Yeah, soulmates. That's what they were.

	And since he felt they were soulmates Ranma really never 
got jealous when Kodachi would flirt with other guys or girls. 
That's because he knew she would always come back to him. 
Because he was the only one that she loved. Because he was her 
soulmate.

	But that was before.

	That was before he showed up.

	Before Kuonji Ukyo came back into their lives.

	Ranma had always liked Ukyo, or Ucchan as he often 
called him, but he didn't like this relationship that his old friend 
seemed to have with Kodachi.

	It was obvious to see that Ukyo wasn't happy to see 
Kodachi again. That much was clear. But what about Kodachi? 
What was her reaction?

	That was a much tougher thing to answer. It seemed to be 
amusement and a sort of hidden longing in her gaze. Ranma could 
recall watching those violet eyes soften when she looked at Ukyo. 
Soften in a way that he thought had been purely meant for him and 
him alone.

	The sight of it was enough to make Ranma want to resort 
to his baser instincts, like his brother did so often, and go to his 
former friend then beat him within an inch of his life.

	So what was stopping him?

	Ukyo's reaction. Plain and simple.

	Ukyo hadn't seemed happy to see Kodachi. Ukyo seemed 
terrified. That meant he had no interest in her and that meant he 
was no threat to Ranma's relationship.

	Plus there was the fact that Ranma knew deep in his heart 
that Kodachi would never cheat on him.

	He also knew that he was twice as sexy as Ukyo and 
made a far better catch for Kodachi.

	So if he knew all this then why was he standing here? Why 
did he feel so unsure? So... nervous?

	"Ranma darling, I know that you must appreciate the view 
of both my backside and of nature's splendor but how long do you 
intend to stand there?"

	"Heh," Ranma chuckled a bit nervously as he scratched his 
cheek in an embarrassed gesture. Walking forward, he paused to 
stand next to where Kodachi was sitting on the edge of the 
rooftop.

	"Darling," said Kodachi, her violet eyes betraying an 
obvious concern. "Is something troubling you?"

	"Sort of," admitted Ranma. He paused to look at her for a 
moment then making a silent decision, he sat next to her on the 
rooftop. "I was just wondering... what kinda relationship did you 
have with Ucchan? Did you go out?"

	Gaining a look of sudden understanding, Kodachi smiled 
softly before she looked back into the horizon. "We were never a 
romantic couple. Do you recall our shock on finding that we knew 
of each other's first paramours?"

	"Hell yeah," said Ranma with an amused chuckle. "It had 
us laughing about it for days. Especially since they ended up as a 
couple and so did we. It seemed like fate."

	"Indeed," Kodachi said in warm tones as she smiled 
affectionately at Ranma. "Well, before I met you I hadn't quite 
gotten over my first love. That's when I found myself in Kyoto 
where I met Ukyo-kun." She paused to shake her head in humor. 
"I suppose the most accurate way to describe our relationship is 
one-sided. He was my outlet for all my hurt feelings from my fallen 
relationship. I was rebounding when I met him. I fixated on Ukyo-
kun and began pursuing him aggressively. Particularly after he 
continued to turn me down."

	"But why did he turn you down?" asked Ranma in 
puzzlement. "Ucchan seems like a smart enough guy to be able to 
spot a real catch when he sees one."

	Turning to look at Ranma, she formed a slow smile as she 
lightly caressed his hand which she held in her own. "Ranma," said 
Kodachi in the softest of sighs. "You really are terribly sweet, do 
you know that?"

	Blinking in slight confusion, Ranma finally formed an easy 
smile then said, "Only when I'm with you, Dachi."

	"Touche," Kodachi murmured. "But to answer your 
question, the reason Ukyo-kun was not as enamored with me as I 
was with him was because he already had a girl that he loved. 
Some tall Amazon like creature always wearing her hair in a 
ponytail." She frowned then touched her own dark hair that was 
free flowing down her back and looking quite beautiful. "I know I 
sometimes like to wear my hair in that style, but all the time? 
Really, that's quite boring, don't you think? It's so--"

	"Dachi," Ranma interrupted as he coughed. "What about 
Ucchan and the tall Amazon chick?"

	"Ah, yes, them," said Kodachi as she tinged slightly. "I was 
very jealous of her... I saw her as my only obstruction to having 
Ukyo-kun as my own. So I set up a rather... implicating situation 
and allowed her to see it."

	His cobalt eyes growing lidded, Ranma studied the 
suddenly nervous figure of his girlfriend then asked, "What did you 
do, Dachi?"

	"I blindfolded Ukyo-kun, let him think I was his beloved, 
then tried to seduce him in the girls locker room," said Kodachi 
who was blushing by this time.

	"And his girlfriend saw all of this?" asked Ranma.

	"Well, yes and no," said Kodachi. "When she entered the 
room, as I planned since I had sent her an anonymous note asking 
her to be on the premises at a certain time, I immediately took off 
the blindfold that Ukyo-kun was wearing. This made it look like 
we were both participating in a very mutual form of affection."

	There was a long moment of pause as Kodachi looked at 
Ranma and said, "It was one of the few things that I truly regret 
doing now that I look back on it."

	Contemplating all this, Ranma said, "So that broke up 
Ukyo and his girlfriend but he still didn't like you. Then you 
skipped town and ended up meeting me." He paused to look at 
Kodachi then asked, "But how in the heck did you help Ucchan to 
become a Kung Fu star then?"

	"Quite easily, actually," said Kodachi. "I made a large 
profit by selling photos of Ukyo-kun to the many girls at the school 
who had crushes on him. On one such occasion the mob of girls 
was chasing him down the street, myself following at a safe 
distance, and when they did so they happened to run past a rather 
influential movie agent. He stopped me when I ran past and asked 
who Ukyo-kun was. I gave him all of the necessary information 
before I left town. The rest is history."

	"Huh," said Ranma slowly as he looked into the horizon. 
After a long moment of silence, he met Kodachi's gaze then said, 
"No offense or anything, Dachi, but I think I have a pretty good 
idea why Ucchan doesn't like you."

	"Yes," Kodachi said with a sigh. "I do admit to being a 
pain in his backside for most of our acquaintance."

	"And you're planning on being a pain again by representing 
Nabchan," said Ranma. "How come?"

	"Because," said Kodachi as she smiled. "Whether he likes 
it or not, Ukyo-kun is meant to deal with me. And what's so 
wrong with me being able to profit from that?"

	Chuckling at this, Ranma cupped Kodachi's chin lightly in 
his hand and murmured, "You're a sly one, aren't you?"

	"Naturally," Kodachi purred. "That's why you love me."

	Instead of replying, Ranma moved forward to meet their 
lips for yet another one of their passionate kisses.

	Some people are simply meant to be together.

---

	"Honestly, Ucchan. Why can't you just beat him up and 
get it over with? What's the point in dragging it out?"

	On hearing this, Ukyo drew his gaze away from the 
window of the limousine they were traveling in, to look at Tsubasa 
who wore a curious expression on his features.

	Flashing his patented lady killer smile, Ukyo said, "For one 
very simple reason, Basa. It's too damn easy. I want to make 
Ryoga suffer just like I have for the past ten years."

	"This is bad for your karma," Tsubasa said. "It's going to 
come back and bite you in--"

	"The ass, yeah, yeah, I know," said Ukyo in dismissive 
tones as he waved his hand. "You already gave me this speech a 
million times before, Basa."

	"Fine," said Tsubasa huffily. He studied Ukyo for a 
moment then sighed and said, "No offense, but I still don't get it, 
Ucchan. Wouldn't beating him up be more fun? It would be a lot 
better for your karma too, you know."

	"Maybe," Ukyo admitted. He paused to meet Tsubasa's 
blue eyes then asked quietly, "Didn't you see how he looked at 
her?"

	"How who looked at who?" asked Tsubasa in honest 
confusion. "What are you talking about now?"

	Rolling his eyes, Ukyo shook his head then said, "I'm 
talking about Ryoga and this so called iinazuke of his. I saw how 
he looked at her. He likes her, he likes her a lot, part of me thinks 
that he might even love her."

	"And this is important why?" prompted Tsubasa.

	"It's important because of how she acted around me," 
supplied Ukyo as he smiled at the thought. "I can find a fan at a 
mile away and she's definitely a fan. Because of that I've found the 
key element for my revenge on Ryoga."

	His blue eyes widening in sudden realization, Tsubasa said, 
"You don't mean that you're going to--"

	"Seduce Tendo Nabiki," Ukyo finished as he formed a 
slow and dangerous smile. "I'm going to steal away the woman that 
he loves and show him the true meaning of having your heart 
broken and your world destroyed."

	After saying this, the limousine stopped in front of Furinkan 
High school and Ukyo exited it with his usual ease to leave 
Tsubasa sitting alone in stunned silence.

	"Well," said Tsubasa to himself as he stepped out of the 
limousine and into the daylight. "This should prove to be an 
interesting first day of school."

	When Ukyo told him of his intentions to go back to 
school, Tsubasa volunteered to register with him so his friend 
wouldn't be alone. Tsubasa did this out of loyalty to his friend and 
a desire to want to help Ukyo in any way.

	But when he agreed to attend school with Ukyo, he didn't 
know what his friend was planning.

	Tsubasa was a big believer in karma, and he saw the bad 
things people did come back to bite them in the ass more than 
once in his lifetime. Hence his tendency to often say this statement 
and remind people of karma's power.

	And his belief in karma was precisely why he was so 
determined to keep an eye on Ukyo. Who knows what sort of 
karmic damage Ukyo might do if Tsubasa wasn't around to wean 
him away from his more harsh plans?

	So in agreeing to attend high school again, Tsubasa had 
thought about a good many things but the one thing he hadn't 
thought about was the one thing that would serve in distracting him 
from his original mission.

	He didn't think about the fact that Furinkan High, like 
many other schools, had a large population of pretty girls. All of 
which knew of him and found him more than a little bit attractive.

	Since Tsubasa's dating habits were worse than Ukyo's 
flirting habits, it's safe to say that this development made him an 
extremely happy guy.

	This meant all that Ukyo didn't find himself confronted by 
another one of Tsubasa's infamous speeches on karma.

	Lucky him, huh?

---	

	The impossible had happened.

	Akane, for the first time in years, didn't find herself 
enjoying the morning run with all of her teammates for the girls 
basketball, soccer, and volleyball teams.

	Normally the morning run was one of Akane's favorite 
things to do with her teammates because of how it helped to clear 
her mind and be at ease.

	When she ran with all of them they became of one clear 
mind and body and she could feel the synchronization they needed 
on the court and the field to play their sports growing as they 
continued on.

	But today Akane simply couldn't clear her mind.

	A truly baffling problem, isn't it?

	Then again, Akane had a very good reason for not being 
able to clear her mind.

	And what was this very good reason?

	Chocolate, plain and simple.

	Or as the Chocoholics liked to say, "Sweet and tasty."

	Either way, she was the reason why Akane couldn't clear 
her mind of thoughts.

	She didn't know why, but Akane couldn't stop herself 
from thinking about Chocolate. Every waking instant of the day 
she found herself occupied by thoughts of the girl who had 
completely stolen away her heart.

	One of the things that Akane couldn't stop thinking about 
was how Chocolate had the bad habit of disappearing on her for 
no apparent reason. Yesterday she had tried several times to 
introduce her to Shampoo and Tatewaki amongst other people 
and whenever she did, the girl would just up and vanish leaving 
Akane alone.

	Alone and feeling quite frustrated.

	What made it worse was the fact that since yesterday 
afternoon and their session with the Doctor, Akane hadn't seen 
hide nor hair of Chocolate. It almost felt like the other girl was 
avoiding her.

	Was that it? Was Chocolate avoiding her? Was it possible 
that maybe, just maybe, Chocolate didn't like Akane as much as 
Akane liked her? That it was all a game?

	This thought made Akane's eyes tear up a bit and pausing 
in her run, she called to her teammates, "I need to take a cool 
down. Go on ahead, I'll join you later!"

	Her fellow athletes shouted their agreement then moved on 
in their run to leave Akane with the rare privacy she sometimes felt 
that she needed.

	Leaning up against the high brick wall next to her, Akane 
tilted her head back and murmured, "Chocolate."

	"Yes, Akane?"

	Jumping at least five feet into the air with fright, when 
Akane fell to the Earth she found herself once again being held in 
the arms of the most beautiful girl she had ever seen.

	"Chocolate!" exclaimed Akane happily as she wrapped 
her arms around the neck of the other girl. "I've missed you so 
much! Where have you been?!"

	Smiling and wheezing a bit from the strength of Akane's 
hug, Chocolate moved to set the athlete down on the ground but 
was surprised when Akane didn't release her from the hug. With a 
happy sigh, Chocolate relaxed into the embrace and returned it 
with a gentle squeeze.

	"I've been at my hotel," replied Chocolate who was 
looking at Akane with earnest teal eyes. "I needed to sort some 
things out with the management. Apparently they've had to add 
extra security to keep my more exuberant admirers away."

	"Oh wow," said Akane with wide eyes. "Did you make 
sure they hire from Junko's Bodyguards Etc and not Linlan's 
Protect You Tough? Junko is a much better guy to work with and 
his bodyguards are so nice."

	"We hired Junko," said Chocolate as she rubbed the back 
of her head. "In fact, he tried to get me to let one of his guys trail 
me around today for extra protection. I told him no but I keep 
finding people following me anyway."

	Smiling at this, Akane tapped Chocolate on the nose and 
said, "Not just bodyguards would follow you. I know that I would 
follow you to the ends of the Earth."

	Blushing furiously, Chocolate hesitantly reached out to cup 
Akane's face in her hands and said, "Thank you for saying that and 
for being who you are." She paused to release a wavering sigh 
then said, "Akane. I think I'm in--"

	It was then that several dozen horrified screams that 
seemed to break the sound barrier were heard.

	Meeting each other's eyes with alarm, both Akane and 
Chocolate took off like a shot for the direction of the screams only 
to find something that horrified them more.

	Or at least would have horrified Chocolate if she had been 
the one to reach the athletes first but since it was Akane that was 
hardly the case.

	Instead, Akane stopped to look at the strange creature 
glomping onto her fellow athletes in puzzlement.

	"Uhm, you guys," Akane said slowly. "What's going on 
and what is that weird thing hugging you?"

	"Captain!" shrieked one of her teammates. "Get this thing 
away from us! It's perverted!"

	"Yeah, Captain Akane! Get rid of it!"

	"Help us, Akane!"

	"Please, Akane-chan, for the love of the Kami!"

	The creature ceased in its assault to turn towards Akane 
with glazed eyes and inspecting her head to toe and on finding her 
acceptable it cried out, "Sweeeet!!"

	There was a very long pause as the creature glomped onto 
Akane's chest and all of the athletes were frozen in anticipation and 
terror as they waited for her reaction.

	That was when Chocolate rounded the corner and on 
seeing her, Akane looked up from studying the strange thing 
attached to her chest to the girl that she loved.

	"Look Chocolate," began Akane. "It's a barnacle."

	After hearing this, there was a huge moment of dead 
silence as everyone, including the barnacle creature, sweatdropped 
at Akane's words.

	Everyone except Chocolate. Because Chocolate was 
occupied with fuming in rage at what she saw.

	"Hey you!" Chocolate shouted as she rushed forward and 
tried to pry the barnacle creature off of Akane's chest. "Let go of 
Akane you pervert!"

	The creature refused to let go of Akane and scowling at 
this, Chocolate produced a big mallet out of nowhere and raised it 
into the air.

	"I'll make you let go!" Chocolate declared.

	"Chocolate?" asked Akane in confusion. "Why do you 
want to mallet, Barnacle-chan? It's really harmless."

	These words were accompanied by a much shorter 
sweatdrop as Chocolate looked to all of the athletes for support 
but they merely shrugged in easy acceptance.

	Shaking her head, Chocolate thought about attempting to 
reason with Akane but thought better of it. Then she came to a 
sudden inspiration.

	Chocolate slid closer to Akane and wore her best 
sensuous smile then started to leave a trail of kisses on her neck 
and when Akane closed her eyes as she enjoyed the feeling of this, 
Chocolate whacked the creature on the top of the head with her 
mallet, causing it to fall to the ground.

	Seconds after she did this, the barnacle creature rose to its 
feet and the athletes were stunned to see that it wasn't really a 
barnacle but rather a dirty old man.

	Well, okay, so maybe they weren't so stunned. But Akane 
would have been if she hadn't been busy making out with 
Chocolate in the middle of the street.

	"How dare you remove me from sweet Akane's chest!" 
the creature proclaimed. "I'll have you know..."

	It trailed off in frustration as it watched Chocolate 
completely ignore it, because of her far more interesting pursuits 
with Akane.

	"You can't ignore me!" the creature shouted rather 
indignantly. "I'm Master Happosai of the--"

	The creature, who was apparently named Happosai, was 
cut off as Chocolate abruptly dropped her heavy mallet on his 
head so she could place her hands on much more desirable places 
on Akane's body.

	Dusting himself off, Happosai frowned a bit then jumped 
up on the high wall where he could get a good look at the two girls 
who were so involved in their make out session.

	Forming a slow and definitely wicked smile, Happosai 
launched himself at them and cried out, "Sweet!"

	That was when Akane and Chocolate found their making 
out rudely interrupted by a dirty old man glomping onto both of 
their chests simultaneously.

	"Sweet!" Happosai cried again. "I'm in heaven being 
squished between two such lovely ladies!"

	"Oh wow!" exclaimed Akane as she smiled at Chocolate 
who was turned red with anger. "Barnacle-chan can talk! Isn't that 
neat of him? He must be really special!"

	Instead of replying, Chocolate pulled out a mallet even 
larger than her last one and swung at Happosai who merely lifted 
his finger to send the mallet flying into the air.

	Blinking at this, Chocolate formed a scowl then 
demanded, "How did you do that?! Who are you?!"

	"I told you," said Happosai with an easy smile. "I'm 
Happosai of the Anything Goes School of Martial Arts."

	"Anything Goes?" echoed Akane and Chocolate.

	A moment of silence passed then Akane clapped her 
hands together and exclaimed, "You must know my dad! My 
name is Tendo Akane and he's Tendo Soun."

	"I know," Happosai said. "I guessed that when all of the 
lovely ladies shouted out your name, Akane."

	"Really? Neat!" said Akane happily. She hooked her arm 
in Chocolate's then leaned on her as she said, "So are you here to 
visit with my dad and Ojisama Saotome?"

	"Eh? So Genma is here as well?" asked Happosai in 
certain surprise.

	"You bet!" said Akane with a nod. "He's been here for 
awhile with his sons, Ranma and Ryoga."

	"And his pretty wives too?" asked Happosai as his eyes 
gained an eager gleam. "I have missed those two little spitfires. 
Even if they did make mischief for me."

	"No," Akane said slowly. "I don't remember meeting any 
wives of Ojisama Saotome's so far."

	"A shame," said Happosai with a sigh. He then looked at 
Chocolate's ample frame and formed a very lecherous expression 
as he said, "But at least I have worthy replacements with you two 
around. Swe--!"

	Happosai got cut off from trying to glomp onto Chocolate 
when she produced gigantic metal mallet out of nowhere and 
whacked him hard on the head with it.

	It was just the start in a long series of assaults that 
Happosai would have to deal with when it came to her.

	Too bad for Chocolate that when it came to a lady as 
pretty as she was, Happosai would endure any assault for just a 
chance of being able to steal a quick feel from her.

	So began the continuous assault of Chocolate and various 
other pretty girls in the Nerima distract.

	And all who knew of Happosai could only shudder in 
sympathy at their plight.

---

	Ryoga was angry.

	He glared at the figure of Kuonji Ukyo who was wearing 
his usual charming smile and felt himself seething inwardly at it.

	This was because Ukyo was currently holding Nabiki's 
hand in his own and lightly kissing the top of it.

	Stomping over to Nabiki's side, Ryoga tried to touch her 
waist to pull her closer to him and away from Ukyo but he found 
himself too nervous to move. What if Nabiki yelled at him for 
touching her? Or even worse, what if she got disgusted at his 
touch? He didn't think he could deal with that sort of rejection 
from her.

	As if sensing his dilemma, Ukyo lifted his head and met 
Ryoga's eyes as he formed another smile. "Ryoga," he said in his 
smooth drawl. "What are you doing there, hm?"

	Narrowing his eyes, Ryoga said tightly, "Nothing. I just 
wanted to remind Nabiki that school's about to start and we don't 
want to be late for our first class."

	"What an incredible coincidence," said Ukyo with a smile. 
"I was just about to tell Nabiki that I've decided to enroll in school 
here so we might become closer. Because after all," Ukyo paused 
to wink at Nabiki who blushed at this. "Co-stars, especially of the 
romantic kind, should always be good friends before they start 
filming."

	"You're going to school here?" asked Ryoga as his eyes 
went wide in certain horror.

	"Yup," said Ukyo as he tilted his head to one side and 
eyed Ryoga's discomfort with some amusement. "Me and Basa 
decided it would be a good idea. Plus, it'll be a nice change to be 
somewhere more normal than a movie set."

	Before Ryoga or Nabiki could reply to this, a huge crowd 
of athletes that was led by Akane and a drop dead gorgeous girl 
who was holding her in her arms, ran across the campus screaming 
as a small creature pursued them while it continuously shouted, 
"Come back pretty ladies! Come back and let me glomp onto 
you!"

	Sweatdropping at this, Ryoga looked at the shocked 
Ukyo and said rather drolly, "You were saying?"

	"Oh, well," said Ukyo who recovered from his shock very 
quickly. "This school still has things that makes me drawn to it. 
Very charming and pretty things."

	As he said this, Ukyo looked at Nabiki meaningfully and 
flashed her another heartbreaker smile that caused her to blush 
from head to toe on seeing it.

	"Well, now. If this isn't the oddest threesome that I've ever 
witnessed I'm not sure what would be."

	Turning his head, Ukyo screamed when he saw the figure 
of Kodachi standing in front of them with Ranma.

	"Jeez, Ucchan," said Ranma as he winced. "I know you 
and Dachi don't get along but do you gotta do that each time you 
see her? It's sorta extreme, dontcha think?"

	"He merely wants attention, darling," Kodachi purred as 
she leaned against Ranma who smiled at her. "But fear not, my 
dear Ukyo-kun, I'm here for Nabiki dearest and not for your far 
too handsome figure."

	"Dachi?" asked Nabiki in confusion as she quickly found 
herself escorted away from Ryoga and Ukyo by the couple as they 
walked across the campus.

	This left Ryoga and Ukyo alone.

	Not a very safe situation for either one of them.

	"Kuonji," said Ryoga in a growl after a moment. "What do 
you think you're doing flirting with Nabiki-chan? She's my 
iinazuke. You shouldn't do things like that!"

	"Iinazuke does not a wife make," replied Ukyo with an 
easy drawl and a smirk. "I think Nabiki is quite the catch and as 
such I won't let a clod like you have her just because she was 
unfortunate enough to be engaged to you."

	Scowling at this, Ryoga looked at Ukyo with honest 
confusion and asked, "Why are you doing this? I thought that we 
were friends, Ukyo."

	At this statement, Ukyo's eyes darkened and he seemed to 
grow very tense before he said, "If you don't know why I'm doing 
this then I'm not about to tell you, Ryoga. But it's like my Poppa 
once said, 'There's nothing dishonorable about taking a honorable 
lady away from a dishonorable man.'"

	"Who's dishonorable?!" Ryoga growled in low and 
dangerous tones. "And you'll take Nabiki-chan away from me 
when pigs fly, Kuonji! She's the girl that I--"

	Ryoga suddenly paused in his speech to look up with wide 
eyes and following his gaze, Ukyo could only stare in shock at the 
form of a big fat flying pig floating over them holding a lunch bag in 
its mouth.

	Then after a moment, Ukyo's shock was replaced with a 
smirk. Because it seemed that even the Kami were on his side 
when it came to this particular mission.

	"Dad!" Ryoga wailed as he angrily waved his fists around 
at the flying pig. "What are you doing?! Don't you know that you 
just jinxed me now?!"

	The flying pig flew to meet Ryoga's eye level and then 
dropped the lunch bag at his feet. After it did this, the pig squealed 
indignantly at Ryoga.

	"You don't understand, Dad!" Ryoga cried. "You just 
totally screwed up my speech! Why couldn't you have come to 
school in your human form, huh?!"

	For a response the flying pig merely squealed again and 
caused Ryoga to grow even more frustrated.

	While Ukyo watched this in certain amusement, he found 
his eyes drawn elsewhere when out nowhere the girl with purple 
hair he met yesterday appeared chasing a small bulbous ball of 
light that was making bell like sounds at her.

	And behind them was Tatewaki, whom Ukyo still felt a tad 
nervous around due to the uneasy ending of their duel. An ending 
which had come about because of a mass mobbing of all Ukyo's 
fans once they recognized just who was dueling on the street and 
in various restaurants across Nerima.

	But as Ukyo watched Ryoga shout at the flying pig, 
Shampoo and Tatewaki chase the tinkling ball of light, and 
Akane's crowd of athletes flee from the dirty old man, he felt 
strangely at home.

	Because this was just as crazy as any movie set.


To be continued...

------------------------------------------------

I'd like to thank Jim Robert Bader, 
Red Death, and my brother Patrick for listening to my goofy ideas. 
Also special thanks to Wade Tritschler for allowing me to be a 
part of his Altered Destinies project.

Chat with me on ICQ! My ICQ # is: 37674780 

Thanks to Red Death all of my fanfics are archived at:
http://www.lvdi.net/~reddeath/dreiser.htm

Next up: Happy is introduced to the entire gang and as this 
happens, one of the many that he's wronged makes his way 
towards Nerima for revenge on the Demon Master.

"She can violate my rights!"
-Brock; Pokemon- 

Onwards to Part 14


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