My hands cupped Natsuki's face as we kissed. I kissed her like I was starving. Hungry for her touch, for the feel of her against me. I kissed her like I was near death. Like she was air, water... like she was life itself. My tongue caressed her lips, explored her mouth, sampled the bounty laid out before me. I was a pirate, ready to plunder and pillage all that she offered - and even that which she didn't offer. I ran my hand down her back, scarcely believing I wasn't in a dream. Something dug into my wrist. It was the necklace, a feverish part of me noted. I pulled back from Natsuki a second. A second away from her was almost too painful to bear. I absent mindedly clasped the necklace about my throat and tucked it into my kimono to get it out of the way. I wasn't thinking straight then. Damn it. I wasn't even thinking at all. I was thinking of nothing except the lovely HiME I finally had in my arms. Natsuki... Natsuki was... She was flushed. Her skin had taken on a pinkish tone and she looked back at me, as if dazed. Her lips were moist and half parted as if in invitation. Can you blame me for not resisting? I returned to lavishing my attentions upon her. But it wasn't enough. More... I seemed to hear a whisper. Was it my own voice? Or was it... something else? I did not know, but I listened to it nevertheless. More. I disentangled myself from her mouth. I kissed my way down her cheek, then I reached her throat. Her arms were wrapped tightly around me now, her hands were grasping my hair. Her breath came raggedly, the same as mine probably was. I licked her throat. There was a hint of salty sweat, but underneath was the distinct mix of scent and taste that was Natsuki. I was instantly addicted. I explored her throat with lips and tongue. Natsuki, Natsuki, Natsuki... I found her pulse point. Her heart was beating so fast. Experimentally, I bit it. Not hard, just a little nip, catching nothing more than skin. Her reaction was gratifying. "Aaah..." Natsuki whimpered weakly. I bit again, higher this time, but still not hard enough to leave a mark. Natsuki's grip around me tightened. One of my hands reached out to support the back of her neck. The other roamed her body, desperately feeling her beneath the cloth of the kimono. It was a heady feeling, having such control over Natsuki. With lips, tongue, and teeth I claimed her neck. I was a vampire sucking out, not blood, but pleasure from my princess. I was musician, eliciting the most wonderful sounds from Natsuki, playing her like a world renowned virtuoso. It was wonderful, but it wasn't enough. Yes... More... Something burned hot against my skin. A distant part of me registered the burning sensation was where the necklace lay nestled between my breasts. My hands were on her shoulders. I pushed her down onto the futon beside us. Natsuki's eyes widened in alarm. "Shizuru! What?! Sto-" She protested weakly, her voice still breathless. I cut her off with a kiss, lowering her down onto the mattress, and kneeling above her. I broke the kiss off to look down at her. She grasped the front of my kimono, her eyes filled with fear and uncertainty. "Shizuru! Stop it! Don't do th-" The necklace fell free from where I tucked it into the front of my kimono. Natsuki's eyes followed it. She took several deep breaths. I didn't suspect any foul play. But whether my mind was clouded by the necklace, or simple by pure lust, I'll never know. I took advantage of her silence to begin removing her kimono. When I had stripped Natsuki of it, she looked back at me, her eyes filled... with desire rather than fear. She smiled at me now, clutching my arms, but making no move to protest. She whispered my name. "Shizuru..." Amazing how much trust could be conveyed with just one word. Trust that... I didn't deserve then, and I still don't deserve now. I ran one finger along the edge where her bra met her skin. I remembered buying it together with her. She shivered at my touch. A predatory part of me felt immense satisfaction that I could make her react so. I reached behind her back and unclasped the bra, leaving her breasts completely exposed to the cool night air. Yes! Yes! Yes... More... -o- "Shizuru..." Natsuki's entire body shuddered and I was hard put to support her. Her body was curled into a tight knot. Then she gasped and lay back down on the mattress. She was panting heavily. Small shivers still ran up and down her body. A pleased smile brightened my face. I could bring Natsuki to the height of pleasure, I was able to touch her and hold her in the manner I'd so desperately wanted. I felt... relaxed. I was like a predator that had finally taken down its prey. I no longer felt feverish. My mind no longer felt like it was in the grip of something unstoppable. I no longer felt that compelling need for more of Natsuki. It was... almost a disappointment. At that time at least. Natsuki must have felt that change in me, because she gently pushed me off of her and down into the bed. She knelt on top of me, mimicking my earlier position with her. She bent her head over me and kissed me, slowly. She moved her lips next to my ear, her breath tickling my skin. I shivered, feeling earlier sensations wash over me again. "Shizuru, what do you want?" She drew out my name, pronouncing every syllable carefully, lovingly. Her voice trembled as if pleading for an answer. She sounded so breathless, as if possessed by a desire barely kept in check. My eyes softened as I looked up at her. I cupped her cheek. "I want Natsuki's love." She smiled. "You have it." Then she kissed me again, and no more words were spoken. -o- We basked in the afterglow, Natsuki and I. We were stretched out on the mattress, our bodies intertwined, our heads facing each other on the pillow. My limbs felt languid, my body felt so relaxed. It was like this happy feeling welled up from deep inside me and overflowed. If the world had ended then and there, I would have had no cause for complaints. Our bodies were sticky, with sweat among other things. If it had been anyone another than Natsuki, it would have been disgusting. As it was, it just felt... right. "Natsuki was wonderful." I told her, smiling. "Shizuru was too." She said, echoing my smile. "You know, I've wanted to tell you for a long time." I confided, a bit shyly. "I... I never expected you would feel the same..." "I didn't expect it either." Natsuki told me casually. "But then earlier..." She hesitated a moment. "It was like this warm fuzzy sensation ran through me and I realized I feel the same about Shizuru. I never thought-" My heart skipped a beat. A suspicion began to form in my mind. I sat up. It was like this warm fuzzy sensation ran through me and I realized I feel the same about Shizuru. I never thought... "Natsuki, get up." I said urgently. Natsuki stood up. She continued as if I hadn't interrupted her. "-of Shizuru that way before. I feel like an idiot for not realizing it sooner. I wish-" My throat felt dry. -o- "You," the old crone shook a bony finger at me, "want a certain HiME naked and whimpering in your bed." I refused to dignify that with an answer. I wouldn't... Natsuki wouldn't want... -o- "Natsuki, sit down." Natsuki sat back down on the mattress. She looked at me questioningly. "Shizuru, what are you-" "Natsuki, stop talking a moment." She fell silent obediently. I couldn't breathe. -o- The old fool cackled. "I thought so. You may choose to believe me or not, but if you wear that," she indicated the necklace, "you can get what it is you so desperately want." I ignored her. -o- Is that what the necklace did? I held the necklace up. This... It dangled innocently in front of me. Like a robot, my gaze moved to Natsuki. Natsuki, who looked back at me trustingly. "Shizuru, is something wrong?" She asked me gently, cupping my cheek. "What have I done..." I whispered, pulling away from her touch, and looking at her in horror. "I forced you, I made you..." I looked at her naked form, the inches and inches of skin I had just worshipped with mouth and tongue. She looked at me with an irritated frown. "You didn't force me to do anything. In fact, " she gestured to where our clothes were piled in a heap, " I distinctly recall almost ripping your kimono because I couldn't get it off you fast enough." "Shizuru," Her hand lifted up as if to touch me again, then she brought it back down to her lap. "I love you. Don't be si-" "Tell me." I cut her off harshly. She looked at me in surprise. "Tell me. Tell me what you're really thinking." From one second to the next, Natsuki's face underwent a sudden transformation. Her expression was angry, almost feral in its unbound ferocity. She hugged herself, covering her breasts as best as she could with her arms. She drew away from me, scuttling backwards on the floor, doing her best to preserve her dignity. "I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! How could you do this to me?!" She sobbed. "You forced me, you touched me, you defiled me..." She took a shuddering breath, glaring at me accusingly. "I trusted you. How could you?!" I watched her in shock as she cursed me bitterly. I... made her do this? I wanted this... And the necklace... -o- "Tell me, what is your heart's desire?" The hyena like old woman asked. -o- Natsuki kept screaming at me. It was a lie then? Natsuki didn't love me, Natsuki didn't feel the same way? And I made her... I made her... Oh God... My eyes followed her, horrified. "Go away! Leave me alone! How could you, how could you..." Finally, I could take it no more. "Forget." I commanded. Her head snapped up and she looked at me uncomprehendingly. "Natsuki I want you to forget." I got up and grabbed her shoulders, dragging her to her feet. "You hear me?!?!" I shook her hard. The shadow of fear seemed to enter her eyes. "Shizuru, let go of me! Don't touch me-" I cut her off, squeezing her shoulders tightly. "Natsuki, I want you to forget what just happened!" "Do you understand?!" I gave her a small shove and she stumbled back. For a moment I thought she was about to strike me. Then a strange gleam seemed to enter her eyes. She turned her back to me. She walked across the room to where we'd cast away our clothes. As I watched unmoving, my hands clenched into fists, tears still falling from my eyes, Natsuki put her clothes on. She put them on, one by one, without a word. She straightened the bed, lay down in it, then to all appearances went to sleep. "Natsuki...?" I took a frightened step towards her, half reaching out a hand. "Natsuki..." I knelt beside the mattress. She was asleep. She was asleep so quickly. How... Of course. I laughed bitterly. I told her to forget. I told her to forget, and she forgot. Like an obedient little slave. I ripped the necklace from my neck and threw it out into the night. Natsuki... How could I do this to you? To touch you against your will. To fulfill my desires, even if you didn't feel the same... Then to make you forget about it... But wouldn't it be more cruel to make you remember? To make you remember how I... How I... I spent the rest of that night chasing chaotic thoughts around my mind. I was stupid. I can see now, the depths of my foolishness back then. I swore once that I would never forgive anyone who hurt Natsuki. I would not forgive Nao. I would not forgive the First District. That night, I swore I wouldn't forgive even myself.
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