All With Good Intentions (part 9 of 11)
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Ripples of Shifting Sand
Frosty winter winds whipped Shizuru’s hair like spiteful fairies as she stood beside one of the trees near the dormitory where Natsuki lived with Mai and Mikoto. The pilot had been rather puzzled at her request for a stopover at Fuuka Gakuen but he was smart enough to keep his thoughts to himself.
The former student council president found herself being carried down memory lane as she strolled through the campus towards her ultimate destination. She lingered especially long in the garden where she first met the woman who would capture her heart. Shizuru never thought that she would be capable of loving someone so completely; she had never known such a thing could exist. She knew that her work would take her far away from Natsuki. It would be virtually impossible for them to see each other on a regular basis and the erstwhile bad-girl would never be satisfied with that.
Shizuru told herself that this was best, that she had to let Natsuki go. Though her mind was all logic and rationality, her heart was still breaking into a thousand pieces. When she finally reached her destination, she paused to lean against one of the Japanese maples that ringed the inner quad near the dormitories. It would be so easy, so easy, to just sit here and lose herself in the warm steam of a nice cup of tea in the midst of all that was familiar to her, a place more home than the Fujino family compound had ever been; but her fate had already been decided long ago. She closed her eyes, her heavy lids sliding into half-darkness as the gentle rays of sunlight filtered through them.
The sun’s warmth felt almost foreign to her as most of her days were now spent either in her office or traveling from one destination to another in the luxury of private transportation. Oddly enough, she found it quite simple to methodically live according to a schedule; everything planned, everything in order. There was no thinking, no surprises, no pain. She found that she preferred it that way, to be productive and useful, in order to keep her thoughts occupied. It kept those moments of solitude at bay; those rare instants of lucidity, like the one she was in right now, when the reality of it all would come crashing through her carefully maintained façade.
She reached her hand up to massage the dull ache of nostalgia that throbbed in her chest.
“Natsuki,” Shizuru moaned, half to herself.
“Shizuru?”
The brunette gasped in surprise as she was nearly bowled over from behind. She turned her head slightly to see the object of her affections with a firm grasp about her midsection. She stood in stunned silence for a few seconds, trying to recover from the effusive reception. “Well that was quite the greeting,” Shizuru smirked, her eyes filled with mischief.
Natsuki quickly released her and she stood staring at her friend, totally speechless. She hadn’t even realised how much she had missed Shizuru until that moment. “What are you doing here?” Natsuki asked hesitantly, still shocked at this spontaneous visit.
“Ara, always with questions, always so suspicious,” Shizuru joked.
The dark-haired girl blushed deeply at the comment. “Very funny. But seriously, why are you here? If it’s about not calling, I...I am sorry about that…—“ she broke off as Shizuru placed a finger on her lips to silence Natsuki’s babble.
“It is all right. I understand. However, that is not why I am here.”
“No?”
“No.” The former kaichou paused, took Natsuki’s hand and led her to a nearby bench. “I have something important to tell you.”
Natsuki’s expression changed from curiousity to mild alarm. “What is it? Are you hurt? Did something happen to you?”
“Natsuki,” Shizuru admonished.
“Don’t take all day! Tell me!”
Shizuru stared into Natsuki’s face, her eyes deadly serious. “My father died yesterday.”
Concern and sadness filled Natsuki’s eyes; she gave her friend’s hand a gentle squeeze in sympathy.
“I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
Please don’t ask me that question, Natsuki, Shizuru thought silently. The answers would be more than you might wish for.
“No, I will be fine. But, I have to go away for a while.”
Natsuki’s eyes narrowed. “How long is ‘a while’?” she grumbled.
“Several months,” Shizuru replied with a resigned sigh.
“What?” The biker girl’s voice went up a few notches. “Why so long?”
“With my father gone, I am now the head of Fujino Industries. I am responsible for all of its operations, thus I must visit the overseas facilities in order to have them formally acknowledge my authority.”
All of Touro’s words and the meanings behind them came flooding into Natsuki’s mind. She finally understood what the young girl was trying to say and she didn’t like it one bit.
“But…but…why must it be you? Can’t someone else go for you? What good is being powerful if you can’t use your power for yourself?” she said through clenched teeth. Hot tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and, for once, she was not concerned about anyone seeing her cry.
Shizuru shook her head sadly. “If only I could, but I have no choice. Please try to understand, Natsuki.” Yes, please try. I could not bear it if you were to hate me now. I must do this, for the both of us. We both know too well the consequences of my use of power. Please, please forgive me.
Angry green eyes bored into calm, bronze ones, each trying to win the battle of wills in their own way. Shizuru pulled Natsuki in her arms and hugged her fiercely. “Do not worry. It is not like I will be gone forever. I will see you again in a while, I promise.” Natsuki clung Shizuru like a lifeline, cursing her for leaving and damning her own self for not having the courage to speak her heart.
Before she even knew what she was doing, Natsuki’s lips had found the older girl’s. It was a desperate, heartbreaking kiss, mixed with tears and missed chances. Even though it was brief, to them it felt like forever. They sat holding each other for a while longer before the older woman broke the embrace. Shizuru stood, straightening her skirt and her now tear-stained blouse. She placed a finger under Natsuki’s chin, tipping her head until their eyes met again.
“I have to go now.”
“I know,” Natsuki croaked, her voice hoarse and raw.
Shizuru gently kissed her forehead and just as she was about to walk away, Natsuki grabbed her by the arm. “I just want you to know,” she whispered. “I do love you.”
“I know,” Shizuru replied softly. With more strength than she felt, she strode through a storm of falling leaves down past the garden and out of sight.
Onwards to Part 10
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