"Hikari?"
Himeko flinched in surprise and bonked her forehead against the window glass; she'd been staring so intently out it that she hadn't heard Marika coming up behind her.
"Ow," she said, rubbing the sore spot.
"Hikari, are you all right?"
"Um, yeah. It's just a little bump."
"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to startle you like that."
"No, no, it's my fault for being such a klutz."
The girls looked at each other, stammered apologies broken off, and ended up giggling. For Himeko, at least, it was a momentary release of pent-up tension, but the worry settled back into place almost at once.
"How long have you been standing here, anyway?" Marika asked, seeing her expression.
"Um..." Himeko glanced at her watch. "About an hour and fifteen minutes, maybe?" At the end of the residence, the window offered a view of the road outside the shrine. Every so often a blaze of lightning would show the scenery in stark contrast, but there had been no gleam of headlights piercing the rain.
"She's going to be all right," Marika said. "I mean, hey, the whole reason Ame no Murakumo keeps bringing her back is so she can kick Orochi ass, right?"
Himeko smiled at that.
"Yeah, I guess that's right. I mean, I'm not really much of a fighter. I wonder if I was, sometime way back in lives that I don't remember, or if there's another reason why I was chosen."
She turned back, resuming her post at the window, and Marika came up to stand beside her.
"If you ask me, it's because the god couldn't find anyone else who was willing to put up with it all, let alone do it with a smile." Himeko knew her friend well enough to know that she was only half joking.
"Hikari, what's it like?" Marika asked after a few minutes' silence.
"Um, what?"
"Being you. Being reborn like this, through a series of lives. Living in different ages, different times, with nothing the same but Tsukuyo and the fight against Orochi."
"Well, I don't really remember most of it. The only lifetime I have clear memories of is the last one."
"Oh? How come?"
"I guess...when we're reborn it's like any other reincarnated soul. People don't remember their past lives, right?"
"So it's this time that's different?"
Himeko nodded.
"What makes it special?" Marika asked.
"I wished for it," was the answer.
"Hikari?"
"I chose the world that would be remade."
"Oh, yeah, you were saying something about this world being a different one than in your last life."
"I wanted a world where we could be together without having to find one another, where we'd remember all that we'd gone through and how we came to accept each other's feelings. So we remembered our past lives right from the start, who we are and what we're meant to do. I guess that's why we're twins, too, because my wish got turned to give us not only mental closeness but physical closeness. And I'm glad, too!" She could feel herself blushing again. "I know you like to tease us because Chikane and I are lovers, and it bothers Chikane, too, because we have to keep it a secret from everybody, but..." She sighed happily, then continued, "But I got to be with her in this life starting from even before we were born! We grew up together, always got to be there for each other, never even had to spend a single day apart! I...I love her so much, Marika. I don't really care about destiny or past lives or being the Solar Priestess. So long as I can make her happy, that's...that's enough..."
"Hikari..." murmured her friend.
Himeko wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve.
"I'm sorry I'm sniffling."
"It's okay. She's out there fighting for your sake, right? It's natural to be worried."
"Yeah, but...it's just that it's my fault. She didn't tell me about going to fight Reiko, so I made her promise to tell me when she was doing something like that, so I could share in it, even if only that much. So I can't complain about being worried, because I asked to be." She paused for a second, then added, "Marika, do you know why your dad looked angry when Chikane was telling me about what was happening? He looked as dark as the clouds do!"
Marika thought it over.
"I think Dad gets tricked by appearances with you two. He thinks Tsukuyo's the strong one."
"Chikane is strong!" Himeko leapt to her lover's defense.
"No, she's smart, skilled, and powerful. You're strong. Dad figures that she's dragging you into things you're not able to keep up with, when the truth is, she's the one who's clinging to you out of need." She stopped as a thought hit her. "That's why you wanted to be told, right? So Tsukuyo wouldn't be alone?"
Himeko nodded.
"Uh-huh. I can't help her fight, but at least I can let her know that she has someone cheering her on." Another bolt of lightning startled her; she'd kind of forgotten about the storm while they talked. "How do you know so much about us?"
"Hey, I haven't been your best friend since we met for nothing. You probably pick up on all kinds of stuff about me that nobody else knows. Well, maybe not, but that's just 'cause you're a ditz."
Himeko giggled.
"Imp!"
"Yeah, probably, but--"
"Chikane!"
"What? Oh," Marika realized belatedly that the beams of two headlights could be seen--barely--forging their way up the road. By the time she comprehended what was happening, she was a good four or five steps behind Himeko. The blonde ran back up the hall and out onto the veranda. The driving rain rattled off the roof above her and hissed on the courtyard flagstones, but she barely noticed it, instead watching the headlights pull aside into the garage. The storm drowned out the engine, so she couldn't tell when it was turned off, nor could she hear the garage door closing, but she saw the flicker of white that was Chikane's kimono jacket and heedless of the rain she dashed off the porch and ran down to meet her.
They reached each other just about the time when Chikane passed beneath the torii marking the shrine's boundary.
"Chikane? Chikane, are you all right?" Himeko asked nervously, because it was clear that her lover was not all right. Her head hung, her steps were slow, and her vestments bore several tears and dark stains. "Here, let me help you!"
She put an arm around Chikane's waist while her sister draped hers over Himeko's shoulder. This close, it was clear that Chikane was soaked to the skin and that the car's heater had done very little if anything to dry her. Chilled, she was shivering against Himeko's side.
"I'm all right," she managed to say. "It was only a few nicks and cuts, nothing more. I'm just...tired. I killed the Fifth Neck before he could do anything."
"That's great!"
A faint smile graced Chikane's lips.
"So bloodthirsty..."
"Geez!" Then Himeko smiled, too, because if Chikane was able to make jokes, even such a little one, it meant that she was mostly all right.
Marika came running up to them as they entered the courtyard.
"Is she--"
"Mostly, but she's really cold. Can you get a hot bath ready for her?"
"Yeah, I'll get it started right away, and get out some dry clothes for her. You can take care of her?"
"Mmn-hm," Himeko answered, nodding.
"Okay."
Marika scampered off. Himeko and Chikane made their way across the courtyard to the residence, removed their footwear, and dripped down the hall to the bathroom. Marika had started filling the tub with steaming hot water and had set out a stack of fluffy towels as well as the washbasin, soap, and shampoo.
"That should do it," she said. "My robe is hanging up on the hook behind the door; I know it's too short for Tsukuyo but it should get you decently down the hall. Your clothes from yesterday, the ones you left behind when you changed for the ritual, have been washed and they're laid out for you in my bedroom. I'd bring them here after you've had a chance to get warmed up, but I've learned my lesson about walking in on the two of you in the bath," she added with a wink.
Himeko blushed at the memory, but still thanked Marika for her help.
"No prob. I'm just glad you got home safe, Tsukuyo." She slid the door shut behind her, leaving the sisters alone.
"Okay!" Himeko said. "Let's get you out of those wet things." She stripped the soaked vestments off Chikane, then made the other girl sit on the bath stool while briskly toweling her dry. She was glad to see that Chikane had told the truth; she had a few nicks and slashes, one on her cheek, one on her left shoulder, and one each on her right side and thigh, but each one was both shallow and clean. As a priestess she wouldn't have an Orochi's regeneration power, but it would still speed up her natural healing and slow the effects of more serious injuries. There were also a couple of bruises forming, which Himeko gingerly brushed her fingertips against, but all in all she decided that Chikane had been truthful in saying that she was basically all right. Wetness, cold, emotion, the exertion of battle, and the fading of her adrenalin rush had combined to leave her drained and tired, but that was all. The relief that swelled within Himeko at the thought was more warming than the steam filling the room.
While they waited for the tub to fill, Himeko sluiced hot water over Chikane, then worked up a lather of rose-scented bath gel in a mesh puff and started to wash the dark-haired girl. She'd always thought that it was fun to wait on Chikane like this; there was just something nice about taking care of her lover and making her feel better. Chikane let out a long, satisfied sigh as Himeko massaged sweat and oil, dried mud, grass, and crusted blood from her body.
"That feels really good, Himeko."
I'm glad I could at least do this much," she said happily. She rinsed the soap off, then went over and turned off the taps, since the tub was full. "Are you feeling a little warmer now?"
"Yes, thank you."
Himeko tested Chikane's skin with her hand in a couple of places; she was definitely warmer than she had been when soaked from the rain.
"I'd wash your hair, too, but I think it's more important to get you into the tub," the blonde decided. She piled the blue-black glory of her beloved's hair up in a simple bun and used a washcloth to tie it in place so it wouldn't get into the bath water, then helped the other girl into the tub. Chikane sank down deeply into the steaming water with a blissful sigh.
"Would you join me?" she asked.
"Um, but wouldn't Marika get mad?" Himeko murmured, and Chikane laughed.
"Not for that, Himeko!" she said, giggling. "You're so single-minded."
Himeko might have been horribly embarrassed at being caught out that way, but seeing Chikane laugh and smile made her so happy that she forgot all about it.
"You love a good round of princess-and-handmaiden as much as I do, Chikane," she teased back, and got to see her lover squirm. "But I'll be glad to get in."
She took off her own clothes and began to wash herself while Chikane leaned back in the tub and let the warmth seep into her tired body. While Himeko hadn't been out fighting, staying the night at the hospital had prevented her from taking a shower, so it felt good to get clean. Since unlike her twin she didn't bother with separate shampoo and conditioner she took the chance to wash her hair, too, removing her ribbon and working up a good lather. She wished she'd had the chance to do the same for Chikane; she loved the feel of her lover's hair, the silken weight of it in her hands.
When she was done, she rinsed off, then wrapped up her own hair and walked over to the tub. Chikane watched her the whole way, not with desire but a tenderness in her gaze. Himeko stepped in, letting her body sink into the warmth, and leaned back against Chikane as her beloved's arms came up around her.
"Thank you," Chikane said.
"Don't be silly! It feels really good! And besides, I don't ever need an excuse to let you hold me." Her head rested against Chikane's shoulder so that their faces touched cheek to cheek. "I love you."
"I love you, too."
Himeko covered Chikane's hands with her own and savored the closeness. She always felt so safe and secure when Chikane held her, like there was nothing on earth that could hurt her. She hoped that it worked the other way, too, though she supposed that a warrior as fierce as Chikane wouldn't see "protected" as meaning the same thing.
"Say, Himeko," Chikane said lazily, "do you remember the first time we did this, took a bath together?"
"In our previous lives, you mean?"
"That's right."
"Oh, wow, that was such an incredible bath! You can't even call it a bath; it was like an indoor hot spring, with the rocks and all the tropical plants everywhere." Himeko sailed off into memory, then suddenly stiffened.
"Himeko?"
"Aw, I can't believe that I was so stupid. You even did the 'we're both women; there's nothing to be embarrassed about' bit just like in one of my yuri manga! I missed a really good chance! Though maybe I did notice a little bit; I thought that you were reaching...well, for me...when you touched my sun mark. I was even gathering my courage, thinking 'but if it's Chikane, it's okay...' and things like that. Did you get nervous and stop at the last second?"
Pink flushed Chikane's cheeks.
"Um...yes, I did. I was flirting a little, though I didn't really expect a response."
"I wish I could go back to then." Himeko giggled and explained, "I bet your eyes would go as wide as saucers!"
"I definitely would have panicked."
"You'd have totally freaked out! It would have been so cute!"
"If people could hear you now, it would completely destroy your 'sweet and innocent' image."
"You know I don't care about that. I just want to make you happy, and the best way I've found to do that is to be completely honest about my feelings for you, even the embarrassing ones."
She swallowed nervously, then, because 'complete honesty' meant something else, too. The promise she'd made to herself in the hospital yesterday had been pushed aside more than once by the ordinary course of events, by things it hadn't been easy to predict, but it had to be faced.
"Chikane..." she said hesitantly.
"What is it?" her twin replied, the laughter gone from her voice. She could tell at once that Himeko had grown serious.
"We haven't really talked about it...what it means that I'm no longer the Solar Priestess."
"There's nothing to talk about," Chikane said at once. "We still have no idea why it happened, or who the new priestess is--or even if there is a new priestess. All we'd be doing is guessing, so there's no point in saying any more about it."
"No!" Himeko all but cried. "That's not what I'm talking about!" Chikane flinched at her sudden vehemence. "I mean about us. About what's going to happen with the ritual of revival."
Chikane went stiff.
"Himeko, this isn't--"
Himeko half-turned onto her side so she could look at Chikane directly.
"No," she said again, "this is too important to leave unsaid."
"Do you think I want to say it? Do you think that I want to talk about how we're going to be parted forever? That these few days may be all we have together, and that when they're through you might not even remember me? I could... I could barely make myself face it at all, Himeko, let alone waste what little is left to us..." Unable to restrain herself any longer, she lashed out, cracking her fist against the side of the tub.
"Chikane!" She was thinking that? No wonder she's been so moody! The reason she'd been so insistent on Himeko joining her for the unsealing rite, why she'd acted as she did at the hospital and in fighting Reiko, it was all because of this. Himeko felt her eyes begin to brim over with tears and she flung her arms around her beloved, holding her tight. "Oh, Chikane, no, that can't be right!"
"How can it be anything else? The priestesses are reborn together, two miko sharing one lifetime for the purpose of defeating Yamata no Orochi."
"But the one who performs the sacrifice is restored to life along with the world, which means that you would come back to me. We could...we could finally live out our lives together in this world, without having to lose each other!"
Chikane's eyes lit with hope for a brief instant, but that promise died out almost at once.
"And then what?"
"Eh?"
"And when that life is done, then what? Not even the chance to live together with you, to grow old and have happy lives is worth losing you after that, stepping into an eternity apart from you!" Convulsively, her arms wrapped around Himeko, clinging fiercely to her. Chikane buried her face in the crook between Himeko's neck and shoulder and sobbed out, "If it's for you, I can bear anything, can do anything, but if I lose you..." Himeko's skin was wet from the bath water, but she could still feel the hot moisture of Chikane's tears trickling out over it. Chikane's sobs poured from her, long and loud and positively terrifying. Himeko clung to her sister desperately, wanting to do something and unable to imagine what might possibly help under these circumstances.
"Chikane..." She stroked her sister's back gently, trying to soothe her. There was only so much she could do, though, when she hadn't even started to think of all the bad things their circumstances might mean. She'd only thought of what it meant in this life! As usual, Chikane's mind had proceeded further, exploring possibilities and consequences--and again had tried to bear the burden of that knowledge alone.
"No! I won't believe it!" Himeko cried out. "Even if destiny doesn't force us together, it doesn't matter! I love you because you're Chikane, not because I am or am not Solar Priestess. That isn't meaningless! I don't care what kind of battles you have to fight or what kind of world takes shape, I'll always find you there. I don't care if we lose our memories or what kind of lives will lead, I'll always, always, always be your very own Himeko." She managed a game smile. "I'll just have to work a little harder to find you, that's all. But I will, I know I will. It's a promise!"
"Himeko!"
Himeko pushed Chikane back a bit so she could look at her, immediately cradling her twin's face in her hands both so that she could hold her still and to reassure her that the broken embrace wasn't some kind of rejection.
"How...how can you promise something like that?" Chikane half-sobbed, half-wailed. Tears streamed down her face.
"Because I love you!" Oh, why couldn't she find the words? "I do! Worlds and lifetimes don't matter; our souls are drawn together and nothing can ever keep us apart!"
"You really...believe that?"
"Yes, yes!" She pressed urgent kisses against Chikane's cheeks, blotting out the tears. "I don't want to live without you, either. I won't accept a world without you, no matter what. So let me be a little selfish, okay?" She kissed Chikane again, on her lips this time. "Please?"
A massive shudder ran through Chikane's body and her eyelids drooped.
"Himeko...You almost make me believe it," she said softly, her voice choked. She covered Himeko's hands with her own, squeezing. "Your love is so relentless; you make it a force that can break down any obstacle or barrier. Even if it means being cursed by the gods, I'll go on believing in you to the depths of my soul."
"Good! Because I know I can stand anything, endure any suffering if it's a path that brings me back to you."
"Himeko!"
"Chikane..."
Then Chikane kissed her, clinging to her again, and for a long time there were no more words.
-X X X-
The dark sun was wild and seething, pulsing with emotion. Lightning surged in the clouds above the shrine, thunder a throbbing drumbeat to match the emotion of the eye of Orochi. The skies over Mahoroba had cleared with the coming of dawn, but the disciples of eternal night were still shrouded in storm.
"I would be angry, too," Saori reflected aloud, looking up. "What have we managed to do in Orochi's name? Our only productive act was to identify just how badly we've been screwed. Against that the Lunar Priestess is still running loose despite three attempts on her life, the Solar Priestess remains nowhere to be found, our leader is a shell of herself, and we're so given to squabbling that nearly half of us can't be bothered to show up."
Her point was even more valid than she knew, Ozawa thought. Only five of the gates were occupied if one counted Reiko, which the former soldier did not. The catatonic wreckage of a woman that had been the First Neck was as useless to Orochi's goals as were the dead.
"We are losing this war," he stated.
"Y'know, I can see that weasel Fifth backing out," Kei said. "I mean, he pretty much told us all to shove it the last time he was here. But the holy roller? That's way out of character. He ought to be here, screaming at us for how badly we've failed the 'Will of Yamata no Orochi' or however he put it. It's been nearly two days since we've seen his pitiful mug."
"Dead."
Everyone flinched at the unnatural voice, as loud as normal speech but with the hollow, rasping tones of a whisper. Four heads turned towards Reiko's torii to see that the slumped figure had raised her head. With wide, unfocused eyes, pupils so dilated that they nearly swallowed the irises wholly, set in a blood-streaked face she looked more like a ghostly horror than a girl. Even Ozawa found himself unnerved by the spectacle.
"W-what do you mean?" Saori stammered.
There was a long pause, as if the girl wasn't quite capable of understanding her without a delay to process the words. Then Reiko's mouth opened and an answer came, not so much spoken as breathed forth.
"The Third Neck has fallen."
"My God!"
"No way," Kei snapped.
"It's true," Ozawa said. "It was on, of all places, the television news. His body was found by the police."
"How did she know?" Akemi asked, indicating Reiko. She then glanced at Ozawa, who nodded.
"She'd know if she was the one who killed him."
"Wait one damn minute, Seventh. She was with me when the Third did his disappearing act!"
"Treachery!" Reiko cried out as if injured.
"As she says," Ozawa stated.
"There's no way you're pinning this on me, you stiff-necked bastard!" Kei roared. "What about the Fifth? He's playing least-in-sight."
"The Fifth Neck has fallen." Reiko's strange, keening voice echoed out above them all. Even Kei's head snapped back around towards her.
"What, him too?"
No more answers were forthcoming from her; she crumpled back to her gate.
"It isn't knowledge," Akemi suddenly realized. "At least, it isn't her knowledge. When that...that monster did this to her, it broke her will. She couldn't accept the trauma, so she retreated inside herself."
"Ah!" Saori exclaimed, understanding. "It left her open to the will of Orochi. Our connection to it is weak, since we bear only Shadows of its power, but Take no Sukunazuchi doesn't have to bypass a human will. Orochi's voice is speaking to her subconscious the way it could commune with Abe."
Ozawa tugged at his earlobe, thinking. It was a plausible suggestion, and a reasonable alternative for Reiko's being responsible for Abe's death--which as Kei had been quick to recognize, would implicate the Second Neck in addition to the First.
"Yo, you want to point fingers, how about the Eighth Neck? I don't know about you, but if I'm going to suspect any one of us of being a backstabbing traitor it's going to be the guy who never showed up in the first place."
"You have a point," Ozawa granted.
"Two dead, one missing, and one like...that," Saori enumerated their losses, waving a hand towards Reiko.
"This is what comes of not acting in concert," Ozawa said.
"I didn't hear you objecting to a lot of those failures you're whining about now, old man."
"I made foolish assumptions about the way things would work as Orochi. It is painfully clear now, however, that being avatars of the gods of destruction does not change the need for organization, planning, and concerted effort. I believed that Reiko had begun to understand that, but then she went off on her own once more and you see the result."
He clenched a hand into a fist, the anger mounting within him.
"We have a real chance to accomplish something, to wipe this blight-ridden world off the map forever. Whatever enemies gather against us, one thing is clear: it is our first duty to destroy the priestesses! This task was given to us when the voice of Orochi called us, at the very beginning. We have tried fighting her one-on-one and failed. We have tried increasing our power so that we could defeat her one-on-one and also failed."
"And you think you have a better idea, soldier-boy?"
Ozawa's Shadow manifested in that instant, darkness sheathing his entire body like a samurai's armor, called forth by his mounting emotions. Blue-green fire played along his fists, and even Kei flinched in response.
"Basic military strategy. This is no tournament, not some kind of competition. This is a war to impose the will of Orochi, our will, on this world. The Lunar Priestess may well be a match for any one of us. Her new power may make her invincible in single combat. What of it? We shall all descend on her and crush her with our full force as we should have done from the start. When she is dead, we can worry about other matters."
His gaze ripped over the three of them, even Akemi.
"And if there is any attempted betrayal, I swear that it will end very badly for you."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
A/N: The "first bath together" that they discuss is the scene from the manga, Vol. 1, starting on page 78. Himeko liking yuri manga comes from the Drama CD, which technically takes place in the anime continuity rather than the manga, but I figured that manga-Himeko wouldn't be any less of a yuri fan than anime-Himeko...and Hikari-Himeko definitely would like yuri!
Some of you might be wondering at how easily Himeko consigned the hypothetical Solar Priestess who we haven't yet met to the "gets killed" role--a more selfish thought than one would necessarily associate with her. On the other hand, she's really the only person who's actually capable of saying whether getting consigned to the Lunar Shrine for the interval between cycles is truly an Awful Fate. Frankly, she takes it a lot better than Chikane takes to not getting stuck there, so...
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