To This Tragic End
Quistis felt a tug on her shirt and she looked down at the one responsible. It was Ama and she was holding a book.
"Yes?" Quistis asked.
"What this word mean?" Ama said.
"What does this word mean." Quistis corrected. Ama repeated after Quistis. The instructor was surprised by just how fast the young girl learned. She had read cases where children who didn't learn language at an early age would never be able to do so. Perhaps it was because Ama had been exposed, just not a lot. Quistis also made the hard decision of junctioning a GF to Ama. She picked Siren, deciding that she was the most literate of all the GFs. Certainly Ifrit would not have been an equal choice. Before giving her over to Ama, she told her to try to have conversations with Ama in her head, hoping it would speed up the process of having to learn the language by having Ama exposed to it at all times of the day. It was an odd request, normally GFs kept to themselves and didn't interfere with the thoughts of their host but Siren complied.
It seemed to have the effect that Quistis wanted. In a few weeks, despite Ama looking like she wanted to bang her head against the wall until Siren was forcibly removed from her, Ama was speaking in more complete sentences.
"Ok, say it after me, 'alone.' It means you are by yourself and you don't have anyone to keep you company." Quistis said.
"Alone." Ama repeated. "Siren says that lots."
"Really? You're not alone anymore, Ama, you have Fujin and Raijin and all of us." Ama took a second to process the sentence before replying,
"No, about you." Quistis drew back. "Goddamn it, Siren." She thought angrily. "Siren says, you are alone. And...she says you are sad." Quistis patted Ama on the head.
"Don't worry about me, ok? I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself."
"Me too!" Ama replied, pulling out her chakram and grinning. Quistis ruffled her hair.
"Get back to that book, your exam is in a week." She ordered. "And then I'll take you out for a treat." Ama understood the word treat and scrambled off to study. Quistis let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her temples.
"Hyne...just when I thought I could get over it...how long has it been?" She whispered to herself.
Nira limped across the hallway, trying to reach her next class. The pain had mostly subsided but she still felt weak from all the drugs Dr. Kadowaki made her take. She had almost died that night and the event had left a permanent scar on her stomach. She blinked away angry tears when she remembered when she came to.
"She's waking up. Thank Hyne." It was Kadowaki's voice, no doubt. Her assistant stood nearby as they watched her open her eyes slowly. "How do you feel, Nira?"
"What happened?"
"You stabbed yourself with a gunblade, that's what happened." Kadowaki replied.
"Why didn't I die? Why didn't you let me die?" She whispered.
"Because I wasn't going to let you." Seifer said from the corner. Nira's eyes widened.
"Not him, why? Not him!" She gasped. Kadowaki watched her with concerned eyes.
"Calm down, Nira, please, you're still very, very weak." She shook her head as hard as she could.
"Get him out of here! I never want to see him again!" She shouted as loud as she could.
"We'll need some sedative here." Kadowaki said calmly. Her assistant handed her a syringe and she stuck it in the IV. Soon Nira felt her body shutting down despite all the anger building up inside her.
Her friends treated her with some distance, afraid she might snap if they did anything wrong. But again the first thing she saw when she woke up was a flash of gray as Seifer scrambled out of sight. He hadn't left her side all night.
So it wasn't a surprise to see him again, peeking around the corner to make sure she was ok. He felt responsible for what she did. Nira dreamt of crushing him under her foot but his revelation made that impossible.
"Go away." She snapped and the blond tuft of hair vanished. She sighed and sat down in her classroom, knowing he was probably just out the door. The instructor prattled on about common espionage techniques that SeeD had to perform. She hardly paid any attention, thinking more about the pain and ways to destroy Seifer. However, the instructor said something that made her look up and listen.
"Sometimes, SeeD will go so far as to seduce their enemy. After all, the closer you can get to the enemy, the more secrets you're likely to get." Nira stared at the instructor, soaking in his words. Suddenly she knew exactly how to destroy Seifer.
Xu twisted and turned in her sleep. She couldn't close her eyes without picturing either Quistis or Becca's face and both of them hurt. She didn't know what to do. Quistis had always been there for her. She was the one Xu fell in love with most recently but Becca brought back a flood of memories and emotions she thought she had buried.
She stood up and decided to wander around, giving up on her nap. She knew it was unfair to lead them both on. Quistis was probably waiting for her back home, waiting until she came back and probably worrying everyday. But this was Becca and as much as Xu wanted to admit otherwise, she had always been in love with her.
"Damn it, why is this so hard?" Xu thought to herself, kicking a rock as hard as she could.
"You're going to hurt yourself." Xu jumped and readied herself for an attack. As soon as she recognized the voice, though, she relaxed.
"Don't do that." She sighed. Becca laughed a little and joined her on the rocky beach near the house.
"Xu...Xu I really want to talk to you about last night."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Well, I mean I did but not like that." Xu stammered. Becca smiled softly.
"It's not that, Xu. You have to understand that I'm in no position to...to do as my heart desires." Xu's head snapped towards Becca. In all the time that she knew her, she had never seen the older girl blush as she was doing.
"As what?" Xu asked
"I have a project to lead. I have a Third Weapon to find and destroy. I have Dr. Cradus's last wishes and wills and people who depend on the success of this mission. You're a SeeD, Xu. If it were up to you, would you risk everything for one person?" Becca replied. Xu bit her lip. She wasn't sure what she would do in that scenario.
"I don't know." She answered. "I mean...I'd like to think that I could do all of that."
"Xu, the Third Weapon is the most deadly of all the Weapons. Millions of people could die because I botched something."
"Why would you
botch it?" Xu demanded. "Why would you botch it?"
"Because you throw me out of focus!"
Becca yelled. Xu went silent with surprise. Becca inhaled deeply and went on. "Xu, I didn't
know what to do when I saw you alive and well. On the one hand, I wanted to take you, to be
with you. On the other hand I wanted to let you live your life without ever knowing that I
was still alive. My brain lost that one, that's why you're here. But now that you're here
every non-logical part of me wants you."
"I'm in love with you, Becca." Xu whispered.
"I know. And I love you too." Becca replied. "But I can't. I just...I can't." Xu didn't listen. She walked over to Becca and cupped her face and kissed her deeply. She felt Becca try to pull away at first but slowly she too melted into the kiss. When they pulled away, Becca looked at the ground.
"I can't, Xu." She hissed. Xu kissed her again and Becca kept repeating, "I can't." But soon, Becca found herself pulling the younger woman up the stairs, crashing into the walls. If everyone wasn't already in the lab, they surely would've poked a head out to see what was going on. Becca pulled Xu down onto her bed, still whispering "I can't" until she couldn't whisper anything anymore.
The sun was setting just as the two rested. Xu had her head on Becca's chest while Becca held her close.
"You still can't?" Xu teased. Becca smiled. It had been worth it. Bringing Xu to the island had been thoroughly worth it but she knew it had to end sometime.
"I won't regret it." Becca promised.
"I'll make sure you won't." The younger woman replied. Someone knocked softly on the door.
"Miss Becca? It's time." The voice said.
"Time? Time for what? Dinner?" Xu asked. Becca sighed and sat up, leaving Xu still lying on the bed.
"I have to go now." Becca said.
"Where are you going?" Xu demanded. "Why so suddenly?" Becca sighed and wouldn't meet Xu's eyes. The younger brunette suddenly remembered the conversation she had with Celia. "Becca, what are you hiding from me? I get the feeling there's something huge you're not telling me." Becca sat down next to her.
"I'm so sorry." She whispered, kissing Xu. Xu pulled away and was about to ask why when Becca hit her as hard as she could in the head. Blackness inked its way across Xu's vision and she fell sideways into oblivion.
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