(Misssing) Lyrics: by Everything but the girl I step off the train, I'm walking down your street again, and past your door, but you don't live there anymore. It's years since you've been there. Now you've disappeared somewhere like outer space, you've found some better place, and I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain. Could you be dead? You always were two steps ahead of everyone. We'd walk behind while you would run. I look up at your house, and I can almost hear you shout down to me where I always used to be, and I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain. Back on the train, I ask why did I come again. Can I confess I've been hanging around your old address? And the years have proven to offer nothing since you moved. You're long gone but I can't move on, and I miss you - like the deserts miss the rain Missing Fujin looked out the window, her expression dull and tired. She barely noticed as the train crossed onto the immense bridge stretching across the sea. Her thoughts kept drifting back to Balamb and to her. She longed for something to get her mind off her but she couldn’t help it. "What about that woman has you acting like a complete imbecile?" She wondered. She was not ready to really think about it. She had myriad of unknown emotions flitting about and sorely needed to clear her head. She saw her face in her minds eye and it made her weak, and feeling more alone now than ever. Somehow in one night she had come to mean a lot to her. It was such a simple series of gestures, dinner, the toast, and more than anything understanding. She hadn’t tried to judge her or condemn her for her past sins. She accepted her as she was. She remembered her hands, soft and gently like silk caressing her skin. She shivered at the memory. "Quistis.." She thought as she let the rumble of the train rock her asleep. ********************* Quistis was in shock, she looked about in stark fear. She felt as if she was in some horrid dream, everyone was moving in slow motion. She saw Rinoa talking to her but she didn’t hear her or even care. "You ran her off." She told herself flatly. "You where so desperate to find anyone to cling to. You chased her off." "I did not mean to." "She hates you!" "Forgive me." "Your a failure." "Don’t leave me." "Its to late now!" "Please." "Give up!" "I just wanted..." "Wanted what!?" "No..." "Say it!" "I’m Sorry..." "Do everyone a favor and just end it." "sorry......" "I beg your pardon?" Rinoa said arching a brow. Quistis looked at her in a daze. "I said I’m sorry I didn’t hear you." She replied with an oddly quite tone. "Are you okay?" Rinoa looked worried and the class where whispering and staring. "I was just lost in thought is all" She said with a soulless smile that left Rinoa chilled. "Okay then." She replied and went to sit back down. Quistis went about her class as normal and without a hint of the terrible thing that was destroying her very soul. It was like a relentless beast, savaging her brutally. She stopped fighting it and accepted it. Knowing full well that it would finally take her and leave her rotting and forgotten. After class the Treppies all gathered around telling her inane and pointless gossip as always. She humored them with porcelain smiles and false laughs. How would they feel she wondered if they really knew their so called idol was really only so much offal. Would they scrape and worship over her then. She was tempted to show them all the darkness within and destroy them with it. Anger seethed within her, contempt of their smiling faces. Even Rinoa, doting, ever loyal Rinoa. She hated herself the minute she thought it. She took the dark emotions still swirling in her and turned them inward. "You would hurt your friends with your own anguish? how petty, how weak. But that pretty much sums you up doesn’t it." She thought bitterly, feeding the beast further. With a sad smile she stood, drawing looks from everyone gathered about. She went to each of them one by one and embraced them tightly. Rinoa grinned widely at this even more so when it was her turn. "Thank you everyone." Quistis smiled warmly. Aeka a junior Treppie fainted. "Oh my goodness." Rinoa said in surprise as she looked at the swooning girl. Quistis watched quietly as they shook the young girl awake. "Ahem." She coughed getting everyone’s attention. "How would you all like to go on a field trip." She said flatly. Cheers echoed in the room. Rinoa looked at her with a puzzled grin. She was up to something and she knew it. Quistis went to her desk and pulled out a few forms. She quickly scribbled on them then passed them out. "Where are we going Miss Trepe?" Royce said surprised. "Just call me Quistis when we are not in class hon." The Treppies burst into babbling whispers immediately, some even elbowed their so called leader. Quistis grinned and knelt to get her bag. Rinoa watched her closely trying to read her. "Yeah where we going Quisty?" She said, purposely using her pet name in front of the other students knowing it usually got a rise from her. "Eshtar" Quistis said simply. Not biting at Rinoa’s bait or even acknowledging it. Cheers went up again. She slung her satchel over her shoulder and grinned brightly. "I will talk to Cid and Squall at the meeting this afternoon. Hopefully we will be able to go as soon as we leave Trabia, since we will be in the region.." More cheers, Rinoa stood quiet with only a paper smile. Something scared her something bad. Quistis shepherd everyone out of the room and locked the door. Rinoa and her stood alone in the hall. Rinoa tagged along quietly as she went to the meeting. "Something up Rinoa?" Quistis said with bright smile. Rinoa had to about jog to keep up with the taller woman’s leggy strides. "Um I hate to ask this, but well. Me and Squall got in a big argument and I need some time to cool off. I was wondering if I could stay the night at your place?.." Rinoa hated lying more than anything. "Sure Hon." Quistis responded without a second thought. "Cool thanks." Rinoa said dumbfounded, she had expected a excuse or something. They got in the elevator and waited as it rose to Cid’s office. "Rinoa." Quistis said as she toyed with her hairpin. "Yeah?" "Did you and Squall really get in a fight?" "No." Rinoa looked down at her feet ashamed. "Silly." Quistis grinned and hugged her. "I know your worried about me, but I will be fine. Trust me I feel better than I have in a long time." "Really?" Rinoa wasn’t to sure, something still frightened her terribly. "I’m sure. But by all means feel free to swing by I could use the company." "Okay I will do that can, I bring Selphie or Nicole?" "Sure invite em both, it will be just us gals." Quistis grinned wolfishly, making Rinoa crack up. The Elevator dinged and the doors opened. Quistis stepped out into the hall and waved goodbye to Rinoa. Rinoa waved back brightly, feeling much better. The door shut and Quistis’s grin suddenly melted into a sullen scowl. Somewhere in the darkness of her soul the beast howled in pleasure. ****************************** The man sitting next to me smells of sex and cigarettes. He is a lecherous one, who lets himself "accidentally" graze my breasts as she he shuffles past me on the way to the lavatory. He has done so six times since the trip started. Every time he returns I smell the heavy scent of his maleness on his hands and it sickens me to be near him. I have the urge to pummel him senseless but a security officer is conveniently nearby and I have no desire to be set off the train. I lay my head back and try to relax. I am tired but dare not sleep again, The first time it tried, I awoke to the ogre next to me breathing down my neck. I count the hours till my destination and hope I am doing the right thing. My thoughts run to you again. Perhaps I should have said something, but no I was to shy to tell you. Yes I can be shy, absurd I know but I am only human and have human frailties. I fear being social, I am ill equipped for it. I’m crude, I look different, I talk different, and I’m not pretty. You on the other hand are, polite, eloquent, sophisticated, and beautiful. You are strong my friend, yes I call you friend perhaps my only real one. I hope you will be safe in my absence. "SHOULD HAVE SAID." I murmur annoyed at my own stupidity for just leaving. "Should have said what my precious." The beast next to me grunts as he puts a hand on my thigh. Moments later I find myself in a holding cell in the back of the train, smiling like a well fed cat. ******************************** Later that night Quistis answered the door wearing her new black nightgown and a holding bag of popcorn. Rinoa, Nicole and Selphie also dressed in their gowns and pajamas, applauded and fawned over her as they entered. "Oh who’s the lucky guy?" Rinoa whistled. Quistis looked at her like that was an absurd question. "Selphie talked me into buying it the other day." "Yup and can I call em or what, you look lovely." Selphie clapped merrily. "Well girls what did you bring." Quistis asked poking around in the bag Selphie had in her hand. "Well the library still has a bunk collection." Selphie said in dismay. "But I think you’ll like em." "No more, Romancing the bone. Or Highway men. I hope." Rinoa blushed with a disgusted face. "No. No more romancing the wah! Or Highway wah! I poop!" Selphie whined back at her mockingly. Rinoa stuck her tongue out and threw a handful of Quistis’s popcorn at her. "Girls, Girls. Lets be adults her shall we." Quistis tried thinly. "Okay Miss Trepe." Rinoa said pouting, only to stick her tongue out at her when she turned around. "Ohhh I’m telling." Selphie grinned and pushed her playfully." "Why you brat!" Rinoa grabbed her in a headlock. "Hey watch it you oaf!" Selphie whined as she tried to stomp her foot. Quistis ignored them with a grin and rummaged through the movies looking for something she liked. Nicole tip toed around the roiling pile of arms and legs to join her on the couch. "Gonna be a long night I think" She said peaceably. "Nah." Quistis said kicking her feet on the table as the movie started. ************************************** Irvine could eat his hat. He looked at the clock, it was damn near ten. He and Squall sat on the garishly colored sofa in the middle of the apartment. Squall sat obviously bored out of his skull. He would rather swallow his gunblade than be here. "Think he will figure it out." Irvine said. "WHY THE HELL IS IT BLINKING!" Zell roared from behind the massive projection television that sat in front of the Duo. Sqaull shook his head and slumped further in his chair and looked up at the ceiling. "What hell kind of movies does he even have. Something will girls in it I hope." Irvine said getting flustered. Squall reached down and grabbed a handful of cassettes and tossed them in Irvine’s lap. "Huh?" He looked down at the tapes and studied them. "Love is a yellow bus?, Roses and magnolias?, The rain dancer swoons???? What the hell??" Irvine hung his head. "This is hell." He finally said weakly. Squall nodded in agreement as, he marveled at the symmetrical patterns of the ceiling tiles. A loud pop and a flash startled them. Smoke was rising from the TV causing Zell to spew a string of obscenities that could kill a dragon. Then the lights went out, more cursing from Zell and they could hear angry and startled cries echoing up the hall. After a brief moment the lights came back on. "Some mechanical wiz kid." Irvine mumbled. "Hey up yours you cow poker." Zell yelled flipping him off. "Kiss your mother with that mouth boy." "No but I do something to yours with it." Zell spat back with venom. "Why you little punk." Kinneas stood, Squall grabbed him by the coat and yanked him back in his seat. With a sigh he got up and shoved Zell out from behind the TV. Zell protested acutely and glared at Kinneas. Squall fiddled around with the knot of cables and wires for a few moment before hitting the power. The screen blinked and came to life, Squall then grabbed a tape shoved it in the player and plopped back down on the couch without so much of a huff. "Dirty little." Zell said annoyed. "Oh look its Pam Pam pandas big day." Irvine said disgusted. Squall resumed his tile counting.
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