Love Not Often (part 20 of 22)

a Final Fantasy 7 fanfiction by Bhryn Astaire

Back to Part 19
Heart's Twilight

Love of mine,
Someday you will die
But I'll be close behind,
I'll follow you into the dark.

No blinding light,
Or tunnels to gates of white;
Just our hands clasped so tight,
Waiting for the hint of a spark...

...If Heaven and Hell decide, that they both are satisfied
Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs.
If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark...

- Death Cab for Cutie

-----------------------------------------

"Aerith, Aerith!" she called and threw open the door, "Happy 
V...alentines...day..."

But the room was empty.

The bed, clean from the night as Aerith had slept in her bed, was 
undisturbed. Sat on the bed was Aerith's backpack with the embroidery of 
flowers that she had picked out because she loved the floral designs as 
they reminded her of her own garden back home. A small stock pile of 
brightly glowing materia was heaped by the bag, surmounted by the heavy 
enchanted bangle they'd bought her to try and bolster her weak 
constitution at Cosmo Canyon and the necklace she wore, the amulet to 
help her focus on materia with more clarity and raise her synergy rate 
with the chunks of crystallised mako. There was however, no weapon, no 
food rations and only the pale sunlight coming in from outside, flooding 
into the room that was lonely.

"...Aerith...?" she called softly, stepping into the room. The fragile 
rush of emotions that had boiled into enduring passion last night had 
left her giddy all morning, blushing at everything as though she were a 
girl of fourteen again and just realising her dreams to be loved and to 
love in turn. At the sound of her name, there was only heavy silence.

Tifa dropped her hand, the velvet box still curled tightly into her hand 
when she heard her name being called frantically from the communal room 
where everyone normally retired after a late brunch. Her footsteps were 
hollow as she unwillingly left the empty room behind for the cool 
corridor. Cloud was still out cold in his room and without thinking, she 
closed the door to the room that was Aerith's behind her - old habits 
dying hard.

The walk to the communal room wasn't long, but she dragged her feet, 
tucking the box back into her small side pack along with where she 
stored her usual assortment of battle items, potions and a map of the 
area as their designated tracker alongside Red, who had the best sense 
of natural direction of the group.

As she stepped inside, she swung her gaze from the wildly crying Yuffie, 
to the shocked faces of Barrett, Cid and Red, all clustered in a group 
around the small table. Going closer, a metallic hand closed about her 
bare arm and hauled her to a stop, breath on her shoulder and the tickle 
of hair reminding her that it was Vincent who had grabbed her to halt 
her for some reason.

"Tifa," he grated as gently as possible, "Be strong."

"I am strong," she said in puzzlement. "What's wrong?"

"Tifaaaaa-ha-haaaa..." the ninja girl sobbed, crossing the distance to 
throw herself in a huge, weeping mess upon the fighter. Tifa juggled the 
girl as best she could, whilst looking from Vincent to Barrett, then to 
Cid. It was Cait who spoke finally, his voice quiet despite the terrible 
announcement he made.

"Tifa, Aerith's gone."

---------------------------------------

The connection was hard to establish, despite her magic being strong, 
but finally, after two days she managed it and waited for him. The dream 
was his technically, so his voice echoed into the darkness as she 
projected the imagery about him, leaf by leaf.

He was knelt, holding his head as if afraid all things inside would 
spill out.

"...what did I do?"

Poor little Cloud, stuck in the nightmare that he doesn't know how to 
escape from. She wove the magic deftly, touching his soul, encouraging 
him to wake up and remember.

"I don't remember anything..."

She persevered, long after many would have given up hope, she clung to 
the hope she could still make everything right, she could still save 
people. She would.

"My memory... since when...? If everything's a dream, then don't wake 
me!"

She sighed. Self pity was a really patience trying emotion to indulge 
in, so much so that even her limitless patience felt tested harshly by 
his bitter reprisal of his own character and self worth. She decided to 
speak; her voice always seemed to bring some clarity in the darkness of 
his world.

"Cloud, can you hear me?"

He uncurled and looked around the world she presented to him - a pathway 
dappled with shadows and light, the trees of a mysterious green and 
their trunks eaten with moss that had grown over centuries, leading to a 
slight rise ahead where beyond all he could see was light, all that she 
wanted him to see was the light at the far end of the tunnel. He looked 
about, red rimmed eyes and looking confused, just a lost little boy.

"Yeah, I can hear you... sorry about what happened."

She appeared then to him, floating down on the air until she paused with 
a slight bump on the path, skirts floating to settle around her. She 
smiled then, a lopsided smile, crooked with feeling and she bent forward 
a little, outstretching a finger as if to waggle it. "Don't worry about 
it."

"I can't help it..."

"Oh?" She straightened up and started walking off, behind a tree, then 
paused and looked back, "...then... why don't you really worry about it? 
...and let me take care of Sephiroth... so you don't have a breakdown, 
okay?"

She vanished behind that tree and then jumped out from behind another 
one, enjoying playing imaginary tag with the physical impossibilities of 
this half dreamed world. She smiled as he looked around, finally taking 
in the strange place that flooded his dream state, his blue eyes wide 
and trying to focus on one thing at a time, until he gave up and looked 
towards her plaintively, "Uh... what is this place?"

She laughed.

Bright like silver, she laughed and tucked her hands behind her back, 
"This forest leads to the City of the Ancients... and is called the 
Sleeping Forest. It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses 
Meteor. That's why I'm going to protect it. Only a survivor of the 
Cetra, like me, can do it. This secret is just up here. At least it 
should be. ...I feel it. It feels like I'm being led by something. Then, 
I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over."

So saying, she turned her back on him and purposefully ran towards the 
light, not pausing, not stopping, not halting even when she heard him 
call out her name, felt him trying to change the dreamscape so he could 
follow. But with a plunge into the water of her natural dreams, the hymn 
of the planet in the dark of deepest sleep, she left him there to figure 
out what to do. Alone.

It was for the best.

-------------------------------------

He woke, to her eternal relief.

For the past two days of horrible, endless waiting she had began to 
formulate the strange idea that perhaps shaking him until his brains 
rattled around inside his skull would be a favourable idea, just 
listening to the empty, hollow sound it would make. Then his eyelids had 
fluttered open and his lips parted in a parched fashion, skin attempting 
to stick unto itself and he whispered something lost below her hearing 
in the white noise that was quickly consuming all rational reason.

She knew she looked a mess. For the past two days, she had been 
completely inconsolable at Aerith's sudden disappearance, clutching the 
small scrap of a note she'd left behind in her neat, perfect handwriting 
that Tifa had come to associate with the diary she scrawled in, then 
smiled up at her cheekily when she tried to see all those secrets; each 
evening filled with tears, no appetite and no will to drink water, just 
staring mutely at the stars and wishing it would all be a dream and she 
would wake up. The words on the note were engraved in fire across her 
soul:

"I'll be back, when it's all over. So just wait for me. Love, Aerith."

Barrett avoided looking at her, both the unofficial organisers for the 
group in a time of panic such as this. Barrett had taken surprising 
command of them in their milling, setting them to practical uses with an 
air of knowledge from his years as a miner in the hills of Corel. Tifa 
had taken it upon herself to try every magic, every phrase, and every 
single bit about natural muscle massage she had learned from Zangan to 
try and rouse Cloud from his dead stupor, so they could finally move.

It had worked well enough, she supposed.

"You look like you was havin' a nightmare," Barrett rumbled, pulling 
back as Cloud sat up slowly in the bed, lifting his hand to cup his 
temple, spikes of blonde hair sticking through his fingers like rays of 
sunshine, brightly formed in the dim dark of the room he'd slept in 
without moving for almost a month. Yet despite this, his sleep had been 
guarded by the magic of the Ancient to keep his body healthy. Aerith had 
called it a Slow Regeneration spell that some old healers used to 
'sleep' through quiet periods in history, but the technique was almost 
gone. The thought of Aerith made her eyes prickle furiously... "How are 
you feeling?"

"I... seem to be okay." Cloud's voice was dry, raspy from lack of water 
to wet his vocal chords upon and lubricate his tongue correctly. But it 
seemed touched with a sense of detachment she thought, self imposed 
detachment.

"That's good... man... I didn't know what was gonna happen."

The blond looked at the mountainous man then Tifa cut across with 
businesslike tones, trying to keep her own voice level, firm and 
unyielding; "You know, Aerith is gone." Did she sound accusatory? Good. 
Might as well make him bleed inside where no one could see for it.

Cloud flinched at her name, guilt rising in his blue eyes and almost 
instantly she felt ashamed of herself. Barrett nodded his agreement, 
gesturing to the windows where the curtains were half drawn, 
"Everybody's out looking for her."

"..." He closed his eyes in pain, and then whispered, "City of the 
Ancients. Aerith is headed there..."

"By herself? Why did she go by herself? Hey, we're goin' too!" He looked 
at Tifa.

The City of the Ancients? Where is that?

She nodded back to Barrett - of course they would be going. If she had 
to drag Cloud there by his groin, then so be it, but they would be going 
there. Of course... assuming someone had any idea where 'there' was...

"Only the Ancients, only Aerith can save us from Meteor."

"Then we must go," She said suddenly; her voice pitched itself between 
downright commanding and pleading, leaning over to try and fix him with 
her dark eyes that appeared reddish tinted more than usual in the dim 
light. "What'll I... um... what'll we do if something happens to Aerith? 
If... If Sephiroth finds her..." She couldn't finish that.

"Sephiroth... already knows."

The blow of ice to her heart was almost too much to bear and she shied 
away, clasping a hand to her chest. She stared at the bent head of Cloud 
in horror. Barrett questioned why he was still sitting about, and all 
she could murmur through stiff lips frozen with fear for the safety of 
her lover, "Let's go, Cloud."

"No!" He shook his head, then grasped it, "What if I lose it again? If 
Sephiroth comes near me I might..."

"Yeah, god-damn it," Barrett folded his arms and reared up almost, to 
his full height so he imposed his shadow down on Cloud, a shadow of 
judgement. "It's cuz' of you that damn Sephiroth got his hands on the 
Black Materia in the first place. It's your damn fault!"

"My... fault?"

"I know you got problems... hell, we all do. But you don't ever 
understand yourself. But you gotta understand that there ain't no 
gettin' offa this train we're on, till we get to the end of the line."

Seeing that this tactic was getting nowhere with the stubborn blond, she 
tried from a different angle despite the pain searing in her heart, 
"Cloud, we came this far... Aren't you going to settle up with 
Sephiroth?"

"No," he almost sobbed, "I'm afraid. If this keeps up I might go crazy. 
I'm afraid..."

Barrett gave a disgusted snort and stomped to the door, flinging it open 
and snapping back in his deep voice, "Just a damn jackass, that's what 
you are... Yo, jes' think about it... How many people in this world do 
ya think really understand themselves? People get depressed in life 
because they don't know what's up. But, they go on living. They don't 
run away... Isn't that how it is?" And so saying, he left, slamming the 
door behind him.

Tifa stared at the door, then at the broken figure of their leader, 
slumped over in the bed and found only pity and fear in her heart 
instead of rage, instead of jealous anger. There was nothing, only a 
terrible coldness in the pit of her stomach to replace everything, and 
beyond hope, she murmured, "...You... will go with us... right Cloud? 
Cause we'll be going... with, or without you."

She turned to follow Barrett and then added, even softer that Cloud had 
to move his head to hear her, "You're not the only one feeling bad, you 
know? She means a lot to us... and it'll be alright, because we're all 
with you. Think on that..." She closed the door after herself and stayed 
there, eyes drifting to the door of Aerith's empty room and her ears 
trying to lock out the confused and torn murmurings of Cloud Strife in 
the room she had vacated, just behind her.

Aerith. With or without them, I'll find you. I'm your hero after all...

----------------------------------

She found the place easily enough, after making her way through the 
dappled forest, hidden below the visible world it presented those not 
chosen, not desired to see the secrets it held. Below was a city of 
crystal and in the centre there rose a monolith, an altar where she knew 
that she should be. Kneeling there, casting off her weapons and materia, 
the red blink of Titan fluttering briefly in her mind to summon a sad 
smile from her, she touched the only other materia she had left on her 
and then settled onto the unyielding marble and crystal altar to pray...

Child, who comes to seek, who travels the Planet, three questions ye 
shall be asked and answer well, for truths you have discovered in the 
world.

I will answer, Planet.

The first question; what would you seek me for?

...Planet, the question is a difficult one, so forgive me if my words 
are clumsy and hard to understand. I myself, am only half Cetra, yet 
even with this knowledge I am aware of the presence of someone called 
Sephiroth travelling the Planet as I am. His existence is a sickness on 
the pulse of life and threatens yet all that I would strive to keep, all 
that is. He seeks Meteor to destroy you. I seek Holy to save you. Holy, 
the counter measure for Meteor. I seek Holy...

-----------------------------------

"The Sleeping Forest is well named..."

The excavator rambled on and she frantically pushed a hand through her 
hair, almost hopping from foot to foot. It had taken them a day of hard 
travel to even reach this point from Gongaga, not to mention the extra 
hour they had taken to persuade Cloud it was in his best interest to 
ensure that Aerith was safe. Then Yuffie had become travel sick so a 
half hour break was approved quickly after she vomited on Red.

But time was ticking away too slowly as they lingered, Yuffie trying to 
peek into the chests hidden with finds in them, hands at work - Cloud 
nodding to the man who droned on and on about a harp or something that 
they needed to move through the forest. Then, with the sort of smile 
that peddlers save for total suckers, offered him a slimy sort of deal 
where he'd dig up the harp if he would cough up the cash for explosives 
and people to dig for it. He even suggested an overnight stay, but at 
the black look on her face, Cloud had politely declined the offer, 
saying that as soon as it was unearthed they would have to hurry on.

So they lingered and loitered - Yuffie by now having robbed several 
workers of their cash (when she walked, she jingled like a toy store's 
door) and this gave Tifa time to wear her boots down, furrow in her 
brow. If everything everyone had said was right, and Vincent's old 
Turk's knowledge, even Cait's agreement; that the city would then be 
just beyond one silly forest that put travellers into a restful sleep as 
a means of protecting the wisdom and secrets of the Ancients who lay it 
there.

A city where Aerith was.

A city where she had to get to.

"Don't worry, won't be long," Cait offered helpfully, as she leaned on 
his soft body without much else to say to him.

"Won't it be?"

"..."

"Cait... you said their stars were perfect together." Her eyes crinkled 
with worry at the corners, "She never said once that she loves me. You 
know? I wonder... ...had I not been in the way... am I just a falling 
star in the path of their destiny? What am I?"

"You're the girl with a locked up secret wish," the mog chortled.

She blew at her fringe of dark hair, aggravated at his words but seeing 
some truth in them. Her locked up secret wish. Her hand strayed to the 
pouch at her side and patted the ring; a diamond one, set with two 
emeralds. They reminded her of Aerith's eyes. Pretty eyes for such a 
pretty girl. She could almost hear her laughing and stood upright, but 
as a woman walked past laughing softly, her heart sank back from elation 
into gnawing worry again.

You're far away, Aerith. But don't worry... we'll be there soon. I swear 
it. Just hold on for me!

The cry rose up, "And we have the harp!"

-----------------------------------

A reasonable answer, Child. The danger, I know of it.

He must be prevented. I will do everything I can as the last ancient, 
the last Cetra, even if my blood is mixed.

Cetra, humans, Cousins of a sort.

I am ready for the next question.

Then answer me this, Child; Why would you seek the power of Holy, the 
power of life itself?

That answer is simple, yet perhaps hard to understand too. A difficult 
answer, one clouded by emotion. I have lived in this world, and seen 
many things, good and bad. But for every bad act, there are two 
miracles, two good acts to balance it out. I have grown to love this 
world, beyond doubt. I have come to understand what it is that makes 
people special, and worth saving. I have come to acquire friendship, 
deep companionship, connections strong that tie me to a thousand 
lives... I have come to love, when love was a strange thing. I am no 
longer... alone... and that is why, so others can once have the future 
to experience it. Because Cloud needs time to grow; Because Barrett 
needs time with Marlene; Because Vincent must yet atone for his sins; 
Because Cid needs to see love for what it is; Because Red must yet face 
his own trials; Because Yuffie will be a lovely young lady; Because Cait 
may yet become worth trust... ...because... Tifa Lockhart...

-----------------------------------

She slumped tiredly on the bed.

The City of the Ancients was vast. It was a world built of shell and 
crystal and old driftwood gathered from goodness only knows where. The 
life stream, the life force of the Planet seemed to effuse every bit of 
this sacred place that hummed with a song just beyond her hearing.

Aerith had once told them that humans and Cetra had been one race, 
simply Cetra. Over time, humans elected to stay in a single place and no 
longer migrate - a truth that Sephiroth had also related to Cloud. On 
some distant level, they were genetically related in the smallest sense 
of the word. But humans had lost the ability to hear the Planet and its 
song, had lost the natural talent with magic. But in this place, it 
throbbed with a song that her ears almost strained to pick up. She 
supposed that the song was so strong that even her distant blood knew it 
was calling out something.

The house they were in was a curl of a shell, replete with three beds 
that looked as though they hadn't had anyone sleep in them for half a 
century, yet they remained very much in tact without dust or disturbance 
from creatures. Yuffie was rubbing tiredly at her eyes - they'd tried to 
sleep but no one could summon the ability to do so, least of all Cloud. 
He had walked around in a dream the whole time it had taken them to walk 
from the bone village where the dig was likely still carrying on, to 
this place.

She glanced across the faces of her companions, stoic and excited alike. 
When her eyes met those of Cloud, she tried to smile but he grimaced 
back. She shook her head, trying to block out that strange humming that 
was producing a strange headache. And then she heard it, almost like a 
hot lancet to her brain:

"...Because... Tifa Lockhart..."

Aerith!

It was without a doubt the voice of her beloved Ancient, cutting with 
clarity. It was then that everyone else sort of straightened, as if each 
had heard something different to the other and where looking around 
them. Cloud however, thundered down the stairs, leaving them all 
standing in bewilderment.

She trained her dark eyes on Vincent, "Did you hear it too?"

"Aerith's voice," he affirmed with a rasp.

"She's close by. I wonder how come we all heard her speaking." She 
rubbed her temple.

The cloaked man gestured to one of the chunks of crystal that was 
present in every house - this one was glowing and pulsing as if with a 
heartbeat, full of life. "These stones seem to transmit and amplify the 
voice of the Planet. I think we heard what she was thinking to the 
Planet."

"Is that possible?"

"Who knows?" He shrugged.

"Not to break into the party, but Cloud is standing at the crossroads," 
Red advised and she clapped a hand to her fist.

"Why can't he ever stay still," she hissed in frustration, "Let's go 
gang."

Together they filed from the house and into the dark outside, the heavy 
sky overhead hung tremulous with stars and the faint skyline bled with 
the light of far distant civilisation, far away from this fairy world. 
Cloud turned, at a crossroad of the shell pathways and pointed to the 
large shell in the centre, "I heard her, she's in there."

Tifa nodded, "...alright then. Let's get her."

-------------------------------------

A suitable answer.

Thank you, Planet.

Now, my final question... what would you give up to achieve your goal, 
and why?

I...

--------------------------------------

The city underneath the world above was beautiful, breathtaking and 
strange. It was like a whole other world where magic reigned supreme and 
finally, each person could hear the song of the Planet (but Yuffie 
claimed she could hear it just fine when in the village itself). They 
stopped at the bottom of the last set of stairs, eyes training to the 
figure on the altar and its bent head.

"Aerith!" Tifa called out happily and made to jump the steps up to her, 
but Cloud was there first. She subsided in her eagerness and paused, one 
foot on the bottom step as she looked up to the altar and watched.

Cloud jumped to the last step and came to a rest by where the Ancient 
was still deep in prayer, hands clasped and her eyes closed with a 
suspicious glint on her smooth cheeks. He circled her and looked down to 
where she and Yuffie were stood by the bottom step, the others at a 
higher ledge, watching them from a safe distance.

Then he was drawing his sword, raising it above his head...

"Cloud, stop!" screamed the Wutai ninja.

"What are you doing?" Tifa shouted with sudden anger.

He shook his head and dropped the blade, stepping back, "Ugh... what are 
you making me do?"

It was as if reality suspended itself. There was a moment of strange 
clarity as the Cetra girl unfolded her hands, lifting her head up to 
stare at Cloud and he, self-revulsion filling his eyes, stared back 
helplessly, hands slowly reaching out.

She moved her lips, "...I have done it."

Then those eyes of bright green shifted and pierced Tifa as she stood 
watching. A sharp blow to the heart as she simply looked at her, eyes 
filled with emotion and tears that trickled down her cheeks. A sixth 
sense made her want to scream 'look out' or possibly leap up there and 
do something, move her... but as the flower girl smiled, there was a 
rush of blackness, a rustle of leather and...

...and then there was the end of a six foot sword, slender and deadly, 
glittering silver, piercing her middle.

Aerith's eyes widened and her hands lifted in shock, then she winced. 
The blood could audibly be heard, spattering on the stone and dripping 
with repetitive noise. A stain covered the front and back of the pink 
dress rapidly, so rapidly that Tifa tried her hardest not to focus on 
it. Tried to pretend it was just a dream. Pinching her thigh seemed to 
do no good...

Sephiroth, the dark demon of her nightmares tugged his sword free whilst 
smirking.

The Ancient lurched, hair ribbon suddenly flying free with the shock and 
a small materia which emitted a glow which was a delicate shade of green 
escaped, chinking down the steps towards the water. Even as she fell 
down, the flower girl reached as if to stop the materia, then she smiled 
again. But her eyes never once left Tifa as she breathed in painfully, 
then out, then...

...then...

...then she breathed no more.

And Tifa's locked heart shattered.

---------------------------------------

Child?

...I would give up everything. And I would do it for her... always, for 
my hero...

Onwards to Part 21


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