Epic Poem to Sacred Death You could say that my real life began when I formed into my family of adventurers and travelers. That's not exactly the kind of life a noble should be living, but when your real family dies in three different wars over the course of ten years, there aren't many people to tell you what not to do. I put my history behind me, as I would soon do again and again for all my life, and went out in search of who I was and what I wanted. My half-brother Kashell went with me, part because he had nowhere to go, and part to protect me, though half the time I was his guardian. Our fathers were different people, though our mother was the same, and our similar age made us more like friends than siblings. I was not yet a month into my travels when Kashell introduced me to who he called his "blood-brother", Lawfer, wherein I was later introduced to the fighting genius Arngrim. Though Lawfer worked solely for Artolia, he would aide us on many of our missions, and likewise we as friends came to his aide when he needed us. We even became partners with Arngrim every now and then, though the gruff warrior and I never seemed to bond well as friends. During those early days, Kashell had a girlfriend, a pretty and athletic woman named Aelia. I quickly learned, in battle, that Aelia had Dragonian blood in her, and that while she could usually appear human, she could also transform into an enormous reptilian monster and annihilate her foes. I could do nothing so special, but we became friends--possibly because our names were similar, I suppose. She was not content to be with Kashell, though. Even on those early days, when I was just finding a niche with my three friends, I could tell that the enthusiastic man in blue was not really of interest to her. "Just one kiss, for luck!" "Ugh... if you didn't need it so much, I wouldn't..." Aelia grunted, and pressed her mouth against Kashell's cheek, showing absolutely no passion at all. He grinned wildly, shouldered his massive sword, and tackled into his foe before any of his friends could accompany him. The small monster fell down, unable to defend itself as Kashell jumped up into the air and impaled it sharply. "Now die!" he shouted. The creature "obeyed" him, perishing utterly under the killer blow. Kashell snorted and put his sword back in its sheath as he pouted like a toddler who had been taken away from playing too soon. "Aww, over already? I still wanted to fight!" "Too bad," grunted Aelia, crossing her arms. Kashell grinned at her, then at Celia. "Well you saw me, didn't you? I was pretty hot stuff, wasn't I?" Celia gave him a look suggesting that his boasts tired her. "...You defeated the monster, and that's all. Now let's move on." He snorted but agreed. Lawfer, who had observed without action, picked up his spear and followed without a word. Celia lagged behind briefly so she could speak with him. Humbler, more polite, and slightly more attractive than his blood-brother, Celia couldn't help but show more favoritism to the younger man, though he had neither the strength nor the outrageous enthusiasm or optimism that was such a trademark to her half-brother. "Like a child..." "Yes, but all friends need one who shows happiness. Dark times ask for those who strive to please in simple measures. Without Kashell, I'm afraid this party and this very life would be dull and uninviting." "Yeah, I heard that!" roared said journeyman. "You'd all be bored stiff without me! Right, Aelia?!" "I guess," she told him casually, "though we'd certainly have some peace and quiet." "Ha! You'd all go insane!" "That, and pity, are really the only reasons I'm still your girlfriend," she added saucily. Poor Kashell snorted. "Humph. That's what I get for liking an honest redhead. No offense, Celia!" "I'm not eavesdropping," stated his half-sister firmly. She turned her attention to Lawfer again, offering a puny smile. "Well, if that is his job, then he does it well and deserves his spot." "Indeed." We were like that: just four friends traveling the world, each from his or her own background, each one in search of--or running from--something. Everything remained moderately tolerable, even enjoyable, until the day came when Kashell's biological younger sister announced that, at long last, she had found true love, or what she believed as such. At first, Kashell and I were somewhat astonished. Our Lemia, in love? We were so happy. But Kashell didn't trust the man she attached herself too. He was too quiet, too... hidden, and he didn't even seem to realize how foolishly Lemia yearned for him. I kept my eyes on him, but only as a caution and favor for my brother. I didn't trust him either, but at least I would allow my half-sister to have her love. It was actually kind of silly during that point. Aelia teased that I should be with Lawfer to "complete the set", but I told her that he was a mere friend, and that I could not see myself as anything greater, not with him. Lawfer was dear and kind and would make some woman joyful, but t'was not my heart he would take. Aelia smiled when I told her that. "I've been thinking a lot, Celia," said Aelia quietly one night, as everyone slept and her closest female friend sat next to her upon a grassy hill. Stars flickered from above, and Midgard shuddered as night came and the darkness took over it once again. I saw a shooting star, and believed it to be the Valkyries, come to extinguish the evil in our world. "About what?" "A little bit of everything. Mostly... Kashell and I." I glanced over at her. "You are not getting married, are you?" "Heavens, no!" she blurted. "Kashell, I... I don't even know why... I mean, I like him, but he's like a kid brother to me! He's not a good kisser, and while his capering amuses me and makes me feel better, sometimes he can act so childish and arrogant." "Well," replied Celia in deadpan, "you can be arrogant as well." "A fault I'll admit to," shrugged Aelia. "But I admit to it. He does not. Ye gods, who am I kidding? Come morning, I'm just going to break up with him and be friends again. This thing will not work out well." Celia remained silent for awhile as she considered what her friend had said. "......You are sure of this." "Yes. Most definitely. I like him more as a friend. And don't even think I'm going to go after Lawfer, just because we use the same weapon. I feel the same way you do." "I wasn't going to suggest anything." The two women became quiet. The evening thickened, and a wind picked up behind them. Kashell and Lawfer were both sound asleep, and soon it would be Aelia's and Celia's turn to rest. Weariness evaded them; Aelia noticed, however, that it was less influential upon her than Celia. "Is something troubling you?" she asked, staring hard. Celia nodded. "Lemia..." "Ah, I figured. To tell you the truth, I understand what you're going through. Kashell told me everything. Who is this Grey guy anyway?" Celia sighed. "That is something I don't believe any of us will ever find out." "What's with that armor, and that voice? How old is he? Where is he from? I don't even know what he looks like!" "Lemia said that, when you see him, you will know love and honor. She says that he's very handsome." "That poor girl..." Aelia snorted out a long sigh, and rested on the grass as her hands supported her head. She stuck a piece of grass in her mouth and chewed on it. "She's so young and naïve. She's probably the type to fall for any old guy no matter who they are, what they look like, or how they treat her." Celia said nothing, at least on that matter. "...What's your type? I... well... I think I would like it if the person I love is kind and understanding, and very patient." Aelia squealed in delight and waved her arms in the air. "Hey, you're talking about me! As for my type, well... ah... can I tell you a secret? I'm... really not attracted to men... I mean, not really. A few, perhaps, but..." "You just aren't into that sort of thing?" "Oh, I'm into it," she answered coyly. "I'm a regular romantic. But, ah, it's not... men... that I like, if you know what I mean." Celia blinked, and though she was no genius, she was smart enough to figure out what Aelia was telling her. "...Oh." "It's who I am," shrugged the Dragonian. "Does that bother you?" "No." "Good. Because I like you, a lot." Celia's face flushed. Well, that was sudden. "Y-you do?" "Relax," said Aelia, laughing softly. "Not that way. Well, not yet anyway." Celia turned much redder. "Uh..." "...Sorry. I can tell I'm making you uncomfortable. Anyway, I'm going to go to sleep. You don't stay up too late, all right?" Aelia rose to leave, dusting off the grass from her leggings. Celia stuttered in hopes of amending what offense she might've delivered. "Um... sorry... You kind of took me off guard for a second." "I do that. Sorry." "I... I like you as well, Aelia." She smiled warmly. The confession was meant as an act of friendship, not love, but it was good to hear nonetheless. Aelia waved casually and answered back. "I'm glad of that. But you should still get your rest. Smooth-talking me like that isn't going to work." She laughed softly and left the other woman to stare. Celia scratched her ear in confusion. Aelia, it seemed, was going to take some time to figure out. I wish I could say that Aelia and I bonded well over time, but it took circumstance beyond our control to bring us close, not casual acquaintanceship. She ended her fling with Kashell without any blood, and the four of us remained together as always. Aelia and I had evening conversations every night ever since that first one, and steadily, as Lemia and Grey grew closer, so too did we. We spoke about everything, from our pasts--I from a noble line, she from a race of man-like dragons. It didn't bother me that she wasn't human; nothing about Aelia bothered me at all, not even when she teased me. I liked her. One evening, Lawfer and Kashell were away on a special mission near Artolia, leaving Aelia and I behind. I didn't concern myself with it; Arngrim was with them. We spent the time together, away from "the boys", and I enjoyed it to be honest. Aelia was different, and she treated me different. She was condescending, teasing, and coy, but always loyal and stout, with fierce eyes in battle that turned soft during peace. I don't know why she liked me, aside from my mind. Only Lawfer was smartest out of the group; neither Kashell nor Aelia could read. She just did--least that's what she said. But I did enjoy our time together, even in the midst of the men. Aelia was special to me, somebody I could relate to and relax around without feeling inferior, or the need to be totally serious and withdrawn. Seeing Midgard's woes was easier with her; the woman was beautiful and deadly, and quiet just when I needed silent companionship and nothing more. I really liked her... so I suppose it came as no surprise to me, one uneventful evening, when I smiled at her gently and gave her my first kiss. "I really like you, Celia," she had said. "I mean, I really, really like you. A lot." "Why?" I had asked her. She shrugged, staying cool as ever. "Because, you're... different. Smart, aware, skilled, practical... and you're very pretty." I just turned my head away and frowned. My life... had not been a life of beauty and delicate grace. War tore me up on the inside, and loss ate away at me. Were it not for my friends, I... "If it weren't for you all... I would have just given up and withered away." Celia's voice was not warbling like one in sorrow, nor even close to it. She spoke quietly, with eerie nonchalance, as if she had accepted the dreaded fate bestowed upon her already. Aelia was silent, as she usually was when her friend breached sensitive areas. She edged closer and placed her hand over Celia's. "Me too," she whispered. "And us girls... we have to stick together." "So you like me just because I'm another woman?" "Partially," she admitted. "But... I can see that you're strong, and kind, yet good to be with, both in war and peace. I really like you, and--" Celia had stopped Aelia then with her kiss, turning around quickly so she could take her friend's face in her palms and draw their mouths together. Aelia was surprised, naturally, but she smiled and accepted the gift eagerly. When they withdrew, she wiped the tears away from her friend's eyes. "Don't cry." "Why not? Can't I express that part of myself? Am I not allowed to..." Aelia smiled sadly, and took Celia in her arms. In spite of her tomboyish roughness, the redhead was in fact a softhearted romantic, as she claimed, and hugged Celia with gentle love. "I'm sorry. I'm such a bully. I shouldn't say things like that. You cry if you want, and I'll still like you." "Thanks." Celia smiled, and went in for a longer, sweeter, more tender kiss. She then rested in Aelia's arms, nestling against her shoulders as sweet sleep took over her. Aelia became flush, and wondered if she was expected to hold her friend all night. She decided that she would, even if it meant not getting any sleep herself, and clutched onto her quiet, lovely Celia until the sun came back and all the nightmares ended. Kashell and Lawfer didn't seem very upset when Aelia and I admitted our newfound relationship, although they were a bit surprised. I can still hear Kashell joking, "So my girlfriend dumps me for my sister?! Jeez! That's just mixed-up! And now my other sister's marrying some ironclad machine! Boy, what's up with this world?!" ...You laugh. I've never seen you laugh, Valkyrie. So is my impression of my half-brother that good? Heh... well, we are family. Oh, I laughed too. It was so little and frail, but that smile was still there. A year passed. I got the news from Aelia, who had gotten it from Kashell--he wasn't able to reach me on account of a special job he had taken. I was shocked, to say the least, when I heard it. Lemia, getting married to Grey? It had all happened so fast. I looked to Aelia for advice, but she knew that sometimes, I had to stand on my own two feet. I could not just let circumstance control me all the time. "She's right," said Kashell, three hours after he returned from his trip. "I understand what you're feeling, and I went straight to Lawfer. I'll tell you what he told me: 'are you just a blade of grass, carried on the wind?!'" "That sounds like Arngrim!" stated Celia. Lawfer frowned. "He didn't use such a mocking voice, Kashell. If that is an impersonation, tis' a poor one." The blue-haired man merely shrugged and adjusted his sword, as he always did out of habit. Aelia smiled coolly and placed her arms behind her head. "I think I'm more like a willow tree," she purred. Kashell snorted. "What? All pliable? You?! Ha! As if!!" "Laugh if you must, ye who knows me very little." He gave her a leer and walked away, but not before advising his half-sister. "Listen... Lemia isn't just our sister, she's our friend. She may be younger than us, but she knows best. This Grey may not have our trust, but if she loves him and if he's good to her, then there's little we can do." "I can't believe you'd say something so mature like that!" exclaimed Lawfer in admiration. "But Kashell... Lemia may love Grey, but do you think he loves her in return?" "To be honest," he murmured indignantly, "I really don't know. When I talked to him, he acted like he was unaware. Gods in heaven, I can't believe how thick-headed this guy is!" Kashell kicked at a rock, sending it flying away into the woods. There was silence within the group--everyone had something on their minds. They dispersed slowly, each to their own task, and did not meet up until morning. Celia went to share a tent with Aelia, and was gladly accepted and comforted the whole night through. It was a week before we learned that Lemia was dead. We discovered her body in Gerabellum, and Grey... he looked so... oh, gods, it sends a shiver down my spine every time I think about it! "Grey! YOU did this?!" "Wait, everyone! I know it wasn't..." "Grey... who did this?" "...It was I." That can't be true! But it was true. Lemia was dead, and Grey vanished before we could even understand what had happened... "When we find out where he is, we'll meet up back here!" The night I found out, I wept bitterly--so much that I could not sleep. Kashell had went off to be alone, and I could tell that he had cried as well. He swore revenge, as did Aelia, but I... Even with my distrust, I couldn't believe that Grey would actually kill the woman that loved him. He could never kill... my own half-sister. That night, Aelia and I held each other without words, and embraced desperately as we tried to sort things out. Her greatest regret, she said, was that she could never cry as much as I could. She said she could not love me so deeply as to be as moved as I was over the loss, but... her devotion and oath of vengeance was enough for me. I gave myself to Aelia the next night. It is true, Valkyrie, that even in Midgard, two souls can find love and happiness, even for a brief time. The next night, I couldn't sleep. Aelia came to me, whispering words of comfort to an uncomfortable soul, and then awoke brief flames within by using all her secret love for me. It was not perfect, and not passionate, but it was what I needed and for that I loved her in return until I became exhausted and weary. Then... "You can't sleep?" "No..." "Is it too warm?" "A little. Maybe we don't need all these blankets." "I guess. And... being so close to me..." "You're cooler when you're in human form. You're softer, too." "Mm-hmm. But I don't fight best unless... Oh, gee, sorry. You got me off track! Heheh..." "...Sorry." "Hey, smile a little, Celia!" "I'm sorry. Even being here with you like this doesn't seem to affect me. It's not like I don't love you anymore... there's just a lot going on. The whole matter with Lemia..." "Yes, I know. I'm sorry for that. You know I would do anything to make you feel better. Why else do you think I got out of bed like that to 'check up' on you? Then one thing led to another, and... are you still unhappy?" "No... I'm just very worried, and concerned, and... confused. I don't even know what's happening now." "...I can imagine how you're feeling. It makes me a bit angry, personally, to be reduced to a mere crutch for you. I wish I could do more than hold you and tell you things will get better, even though sometimes they don't." "Thank you. That's good enough. Say, I have a question. Why aren't you doing this to Kashell?" "Ha! Are you serious? ......Oh, you are. Well, it's not like he's not enjoyable, and he's certainly attractive, but... he can seem happy no matter what. He's a little dense, sure, but perhaps ignorance is bliss. And you got the brains of the operation. ......Celia? I'm sorry, did I say something that offended you?" "Ah, uh... it's nothing. Sometimes I reflect when I should be listening." "Hmm, perhaps you're right. Maybe... you should just believe that things will be better than you dread. Just once, have some hope at least. Even when people tell you to consider all options, I think it would be better if you tried to find the good in any situation. Come on, now, you're almost too dour for me. Smile a little, at least for me." ".........How's this?" "Haha, perfect. You're very pretty when you smile. Now keep that for the next few hours, and I promise you'll feel better." "I'll try. Thank you. I don't know what I would do without you..." I would have to cope, that's for certain. Aelia left on a solo journey to Vilnore the following day, and I never heard from her again, save once. News got around to Kashell and I that Commander Gandar had captured a Dragonian spy, and was going to torture her for information about the Dragon Gem. I became catatonic with fear after hearing that, and only the strong words of Kashell woke me out of it. Soon after, I learned of her agonizing death, and wept bitterly once again, for what seemed like the thousandth time in my life. Lemia... Lawfer... Aelia... then Kashell, and even Grey! Kashell died suddenly while we were on a mission to Camille Village. We had gotten word that Grey was in the area, and ended up finding a town ravaged by Medusa. I left Camille alone, bleary-eyed by tears and soiled from dirt after burying my brother. I couldn't find the strength to go on very long, but a vision I had received several days earlier gave me the strength. By the powers of the gods, Aelia came to me in a dream. Saying her time was short, she informed me that Grey was heading to the Arkdain Ruins in search of the power crystal hidden there, and wished me good fortune--then, told me she loved me before leaving. I did not mourn her second departure. I merely got dressed and prepared for my journey. I made it to Arkdain alone... and left alone. Grey was dead, gone from my life. Everyone had left me alone. I was all alone; no family, no friends, no lover, nothing at all. I was utterly destroyed, nearly ready to crumble under my own sorrow. How fitting, then, to fid the greatest source of light in the black armor of a battle-maiden...
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