The Journey (Part One) -------------------------------------------------- The train was empty, almost deserted. The sun had already gone down and it felt eerie driving through the night. Noises from the train were mixing with the howling of the wind and it sounded and looked like dark creatures were screaming at the train, screaming about their pains, about their fears, releasing them. It seemed as if all the fears and pains were being sucked into Anthy, as if she had a natural ability to absorb those kinds of emotions. All she could do was hold close her picture, her talisman that would protect her. Utena was smiling at her from the picture and Anthy found relief in those eyes. The trip seemed to last forever and she felt as if she had entered another world then had to get used to the old one she came back to as she stepped off the train. She spent a long time looking at the picture of her and Utena. Lately there were so many things she wanted to know about her, questions that she never asked... And probably never will because they seemed insignificant. Like how she lived before they met... Like why she wanted to be Anthy's friend... Anthy's purple hair hang loose and she missed the feeling of a pair of blue eyes looking at her. Utena used to offer brushing her hair and when she did she often smelled it and caressed the skin on the back of her neck. And every time she caught herself doing it she stopped immediately. Anthy had enjoyed it. Nevertheless she never told her so. Standing at the window in her nightgown in the unfamiliar dark room she wished she had done so, wished she had caressed Utena's skin, just once, so she'd know how it feels, so she'd know if it made a difference. She wished she'd have told her she liked her. Now just the lonesome empty bed was waiting for her and somewhere in this town was Utena maybe. As Anthy closed her eyes her thoughts went out to Utena. Tomorrow she'd search for her. If she was here she will find her. Because she didn't want to live on without her. She could but she didn't want to. It felt like being crippled.
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