Hope you like the story, I put much effort into it. If you haven't watched the TV Series this isn't gonna make much sense. Even though it's based on the TV series Utena turned out a bit more like in the movie - character wise. I'd love some feedback, any kind of it. -------------------------------------------------- The one left behind -------------------------------------------------- She held the letter in her hand, afraid to open it. Afraid that after it's open, after it's read everything will come to an end, to a closure, nothing will be left of her anymore and that she'd truly disappear. She was afraid that it was all a dream, that what had been would fade and disappear forever. After all - she wasn't here. Anthy felt lost, alone and broken - worse that ever before. She tried to ignore those feelings for the last few days, tried to lock them away like she was used to but somehow she couldn't. Nothing was like it was anymore. She felt as if the whole world has changed, like it broke to pieces and all parts were put back together by a madman. But apparently the only thing that changed was her. Did it even matter what was in the letter? No, because Utena left. Even though she tried to reach out to Anthy it was of no use. Nobody will ever be able to open that coffin. It won't budge, not from the outside... Maybe it wasn't so much Anthy that changed, maybe it was the perspective that changed. Maybe somehow it did open just a bit... She sat down on her old bed in the room of the abandoned dormitory. Why did Utena leave the letter here in this room? Probably because of her brother. That was the most logical explanation. Anthy liked logic, logic she could understand. Feelings, oh, she was a master at reading people's hearts. Her own feelings, that was the harder part. And she didn't have a particularly good feeling about the letter. She didn't have a particularly good feeling about anything lately. And she hated this feeling. Why did Utena even leave a letter? Anthy had utterly betrayed her. Surely Utena went on, to find someone who'll believe in her. But that was natural, how it ended. Anthy had brought it on herself. In the little world Anthy had constructed for herself there was no place for her feelings. And no place for hope. That's how she distanced herself. While she managed to keep the feelings out, Utena secretly slipped a bit of hope inside. Hope that messed her up completely. Utena was always so open with her feelings. She was wearing her heart so open everyone could see it. It irritated Anthy. How was she able to do it? She tried to be Anthy's friend even though she knew nothing about her. Why did she even fight? She was so stupid, not noticing how she and her brother set her up. She fought so hard for Anthy's sake that she burned out, inside and out, becoming an easy pray for Akio. For Anthy's sake... For her... Anthy's hands became sweaty as she finally began opening the letter with her name on. "Himemiya," it began in shaky handwriting. "I am sorry for what happened. For everything that happened. I really thought I could help you. Now I don't know if you wanted or even needed to be helped. I still have a strong feeling of helping you. In the end, I guess even I considered you my property. I think I didn't want to see what was going on, all around me. Maybe sensing my feelings for you I tried to deny myself and pushed myself into something I wasn't. I still can't think clearly. I'm traveling south, along the coast, there's a little town at the sea there, something like the town down below." There was a pause in the writing, then it continued, shaky once again. "I hope we can meet again someday, maybe it will be different from this time. But, I don't want it to be any different from what it was... I didn't want this to sound like a goodbye note, but I guess it does. I really want to see you again - I miss you. I'm so sorry. Utena." This was something Anthy didn't expect at all. What was Utena saying? Why did she sound so depressed? She wanted her with her? She wanted things to be like they were? Suddenly Anthy realized something. Something that made all the closed doors inside her swing open and realize there wasn't any coffin any more. Because Utena did it. Utena changed something! She had revolutionized the world. Anthy's world! She changed her. Utena changed her, and none of them even realized it. Utena accomplished something. No one can change the whole world. No one can revolutionize the world completely. All someone can do is change people's hearts! And Utena did it. She changed Anthy's heart. And not just hers. It all became clear... Jury, Miki, even Touga. Now it became clear to her, what she should've done. Anthy was overcome with a rush of emotions, something she was slowly getting used to. She lay down on her old bed, looking up at Utena's top bed. She could feel her heartbeat up in her throat, she could feel a smile forcing itself on her face and hot tears into her eyes. There was still time. The letter was written some more that two weeks ago, just after it all finished. Maybe Utena was still there, in that town. Maybe Anthy can also change something. At least she could try to make Utena smile again. Getting up she took the room in, trying to imprint it in her memory. She won't be seeing it again. She went home, trying to calm down some on the way. Everything seemed so trivial now. When she got to the tower she noticed her brother at the computer, probably plotting something revolutionary. She walked up to him, a smile playing on her lips. "It hasn't been that long since then, but everyone's completely forgotten about her," he said without looking at her. He seemed different too. He had such a boyish face when he was off guard. That was what had made her want to protect him, like a good big sister should. "She didn't cause a revolution after all. She was just a passerby to this world." Of course she was just a passerby. She didn't belong here, in this illusionary world. Now that the whole ordeal was over yet again he seemed to relax a bit. But here he was at his computer again printing the infamous 'Letters from The Ends of the World'. He loved to walk on the edge, to risk it all. But now after a long time she felt something towards him. She pitied him. She pitied him for being what he is. And she was angry. How dare he judge Utena's actions. He, the Prince who forgot what it means to be a prince. He never did anything the like that for Anthy. He never actually really tried to save her from her suffering. Of course not, since she was taking the burden of his suffering. But it had been her own mistake and now it was up to her to end it. He made her believe it was her fault what he had become. Of course not directly but because of the whole show he had put up made her believe that. It was her own fault that she fell for it. "Time to start from scratch with the Rose Signets. I'm Counting on you, Anthy." "You don't know what happened, do you?" she said calmly smiling. The pity for him was so much stronger that her anger. Chu-Chu looked at her sadly as she took off her glasses, behind which she had been hiding for a long time now. He too will have to say goodbye. "What?" the confused boy asked, not even understanding what she said but instead surprised at seeing her mockingly smiling face. "It's all right. Please continue playing 'Prince' inside your coffin forever. But," she went on, taking off the ring and watching Chu-Chu take off his tie. It looked like a small shield, now that she looked at it. Was this everything he ever gave her to protect herself from the countless knives of hate aimed at her instead of him? "I have to go!" "Go? To where?" "She hasn't vanished. She merely departed from your world." Something Anthy was also about to do. "What are you talking about? W- Wait a minute! Anthy! Anthy!!" He kept calling after her but she was beyond his reach already. "Farewell," she said to the one that didn't understand. In her room she quickly packed, taking some clothes, the picture of her and Utena, the letter from Utena and whole stacks of her brother's money. Not that she really needed it, but it was convenient. And it felt so good taking it from him. She quickly left the tower stopping at the entrance gate to wait for Chu-Chu. Taking the final step outside she looked back to see an ancient gate leading into a deep and dark forest. All the glorious buildings and towers of Ohtori, which were in reality just trees and hollow trunks. She felt a bit sad for all still in their self-imposed prisons, but everyone had the power to leave this place inside themselves. On her shoulder, her companion, the personification of her joys and desires, her inner self Chu-Chu was also gone.
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