Someone to Believe In
“Coffee?” The question hung in the air awkwardly as Minako carried their coats to the closet.
“No, thank you.”
“Tea?”
“No.” The reply was distracted as Rei’s dark eyes surveyed the singer’s apartment – much like the hotel room the miko had seen in a vision, the apartment was sparsely decorated and looked largely unlived in. But then, she guessed that being an international star, ‘home’ must be hard to define.
“Water?”
Rei glanced at her best friend firmly. “No, Minako. I’m fine.” The curt response carried dual meanings and Rei was relieved to see Minako relax slightly, but then, the shoe was put on the other foot.
The singer crossed the space between them and led Rei to where two oversized easy chairs sat catty corner to each other against sliding glass doors that led to a dark balcony. Rei sat stiffly, her hands in her lap, her legs pressed tightly together as Minako took the seat opposite her, their knees just barely touching.
“I want to know what you remember… about the past.” In her simple statement, Minako couldn’t keep the hopefulness from her wavering voice.
Rei inhaled slowly. Suddenly, her hands became terribly interesting, “I remember the Silver Millennium. I remember the planetary alliance, the moon kingdom, our planets. I remember our princess, our queen, Mercury, and Jupiter. I remember Venus Minako and Mars Reiko.” She hesitated. “I remember… I remember us.”
The miko had always possessed a talent for being hard to read, but Rei’s firm jaw and hard eyes sent the singer the wrong message.
“And are the memories that terrible?” Minako choked.
Minako’s pained voice had made Rei’s stomach twist, but also gave her the confidence she needed to push forward, to quell Minako’s fears, for though it was her seriousness that had scared Minako, it was Minako she was serious about.
“No, the memories aren’t terrible at all.”
The singer’s head shot up and imploring eyes sought Rei’s hopefully. It was just like her best friend; normally vague and avoidant, she could be also blunt and confident when she knew what she wanted. ‘So what does she want?’ Minako asked herself.
“I’ve come to understand and accept Reiko’s memories, but I’m still learning what they mean in relation to my own feelings.” Rei explained.
Examining Minako’s confused expression, Rei understood she’d have to spell things out for the singer. She collected herself; it was all or nothing now. “Minako, I didn’t need Mars Reiko’s memories to become attracted to you. That happened long ago, though I didn’t know what to do about it then, and quite frankly, I don’t know what to do about it now, either.”
That age old hope blossomed within Minako’s chest, but knowing the lines of communication would flow more freely between them in a comfortable argument, she latched onto Rei’s aggressiveness, shooting back with a confession of her own, “And you think I feel any less for you? I may have never verbalized it, but my feelings for you should be obvious, both back then, and now.”
Rei took the bait and shot up from her seat. She errantly tucked a stray lock of dark hair behind an ear as she began to pace to the living room, wearing a track through the crisply vacuumed carpet. “Well, I don’t know where you stand on the division between yourself and Venus Minako, but knowing how blindly you were tied to your past five years ago, I should hope you aren’t simply following your past memories and emotions instead of your own.”
Minako also rose, her body tense, her eyes following her best friend’s movements nervously. “I do believe it was you who taught me how to live as Aino Minako, Rei. I’d think that after that lesson, I’d know that my feelings for you were my own and not merely a reflection of Venus Minako’s feelings.”
All movement ground to a halt. The miko and the singer held a level stare with each other from across the room, and in Minako’s serious gaze, Rei found the truth she’d hoped to find in the other woman’s honest words. And it was then that her mind took her back to a time, five years ago, when, standing on a stage in front of a modest crowd, she had sung a song from her heart, a song that had been made for her;
‘God doesn’t exist, but I want to believe in someone.’
And as Rei examined the hopeful look of her best friend, the once jaded miko thought, ‘Perhaps… I have found someone to believe in. Perhaps I can believe in Minako.’ But when the idol’s melodious laughter broke their silence, Rei felt her hackles rise.
“What’s so funny?” The miko barked.
“I get the feeling that neither one of us wants to believe the other.” Minako said with an air of defeat.
Rei’s fists clenched. “Well, with how devoted you were to the past-“
“I’ll admit, I was obsessed with the past,” Minako’s seriousness returned with a vengeance, but now her features softened as slightly as her voice, “but… knowing you won’t have a future will do that to you.”
The singer eyed Rei, who looked very much like a child scolded for having forced such an explanation from her, and a small smile touched the idol’s lips. Only a handful of paces brought her in front of her best friend, and allowing the miko barely an inch of personal space between them, she reached up, her soft fingers gently brushing Rei’s long bangs back away from her eyes.
“How’s this for proof,” Minako offered, even as she quelled the shakiness in her hands and in her voice, “I’ll have you know that Aino Minako fell for Hino Rei before she even knew she was Sailor Mars.” The singer smirked at the look of shock that sparkled in Rei’s eyes, at that adorable little ’o’ left by Rei’s trembling lips. “Yes, that day at the church.”
The tables were being turned and the singer knew she was gaining the upper hand by proving herself in an undisputable way. “So there.” She added petulantly, raising her eyebrow when Rei snorted. She stepped away slightly, and was pleased to note that Rei forged forward, as though she yearned to reclaim the space that had grown between them.
“Besides, how am I supposed to believe you when you claimed so vehemently back then that the past meant nothing to you?” The accusatory question, purposely designed to goad Rei on, was tossed over Minako’s shoulder casually.
Rei winced but puffed herself up. “I may not have had my memories of the past life at the time, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t feel for you. If you knew anything about me, you’d have known that I was fighting for the future back then! I’ve spent the majority of my life being raised on the values of Shinto dogma, I was taught to work hard for the present and find happiness within this life, not the past that we couldn’t change. That’s why I wanted you to try the surgery. I didn’t want to lose you in this life!”
The intensity left by the miko’s unusual outburst resulted in a stressed silence that hung heavily in the room. Minako surrendered first. She broke eye contact to look away shyly; her proud stance deflated, and she collapsed onto the couch, defeated. “I… I’m sorry.”
A sigh accompanied the miko as she too gave in, also seeking solace in the couch, sitting shoulder to shoulder with her best friend.
Everything had been laid on the line, from feelings that had been born five years ago to clearing up reasons behind their actions that had remained unspoken for all that time. It was an abridged version, but it was obvious that they both knew they had nearly reached their limit, and by a mutual agreement, they had retreated. Much had been left unsaid, but it was too much to tackle at one time. Maybe even several times.
This time, Rei noticed Minako’s quiet laugh carried an ironic lilt to it. “Now what?”
The singer looked at her hands where she idly steepled them together. “I’m just thinking of what an idiot I was.” She said softly.
The miko couldn’t help but share the sentiment with a snort of her own. “I don’t think I was any better, really.” She admitted.
This time, the silence that fell between them was a comfortable one. And when Minako leaned her head on Rei’s shoulder, the dark eyed woman couldn’t help but smile warmly, finally relieved to have gotten it all out to the one and only person who mattered, and to have finally understood, in no uncertain terms, that they really had felt the same for each other. That they still felt the same for each other. But there were still questions, a nagging foreboding that lingered, and Rei tensed when she remembered the cold eyes of the Sailor Mars of her vision.
Minako raised her head in question, “What is it?”
Rei frowned thoughtfully. “I just want to know; why now, five years after the fact, am I remembering what our past personas shared?”
“Maybe…” the singer looked at her best friend for a few moments, composing the right words, “maybe there was something about your past, beyond our relationship, that you weren’t ready to deal with back then.”
The gears in the miko’s head continued to turn and she nodded slightly. “There is one memory that evades me, one memory that leaves me uneasy that I can never pin down, no matter how hard I try.”
Minako nodded, remembering when she’d found Rei in the fireroom earlier that morning, and she could only guess that whatever vision had disturbed her so greatly then, had been the memory she spoke of. And though she had her suspicion of what that memory might be, she shied away from the mere thought of it.
“Besides,” Minako added quickly, steering the direction of their conversation to marginally safer territory, “maybe we weren’t ready to try for a relationship back then, regardless of how we may have felt for each other. We were young then, Rei. We were going different places in our lives, we had different goals. We were too immature, too stubborn to talk… about how we felt. Even if something between us could have happened, it probably wouldn’t have worked out.”
“What? Are you proposing we try for a relationship now, Aino Minako?” Despite Rei’s attempt at casual indifference, her voice had betrayed her hopefulness. She could feel the color rising to her cheeks and she fidgeted nervously under Minako’s unreadable gaze.
When Minako’s hand rested reassuringly on Rei’s own, the miko once again looked at her. For all the assertiveness Rei had displayed, now that the initial rush of raw emotions had worn off, Minako knew not to push her.
The singer smiled warmly and squeezed her best friend’s hand, “I’m not suggesting anything other than that you take your time and figure out what you want, Rei. But know this; I’ve felt this way for you for a long time, and I can keep on waiting, if that’s what you need.”
At a loss for words, Rei could only nod thankfully and match Minako’s strength. Turning her palm upwards, she squeezed the singer’s hand back and laced their fingers together.
It was a clock that eventually disrupted them; it’s not so subtle chime reminding the women that it was midnight. The miko moaned her displeasure. “It’s going to be a rough morning.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Minako responded with a slight smirk. When Rei frowned at her, she continued playfully, “you could just stay the night here you know.”
Rei opened her mouth to protest, but then realized she didn’t really want to. However, still having an image to uphold, she looked away haughtily, stole her hand from Minako’s own, and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know. I’ll have to get up pretty early. As a miko, I do have responsibilities to the shrine.”
Playing along, Minako snorted and stuck her nose in the air. “Well then, I’ll just call my driver to bring you back to the shrine. I certainly don’t want the world’s best miko to disrupt her duties.”
The two women chuckled, looked at each other, and broke into a sudden fit of laughter. Finally, Rei acquiesced. “I’ll stay.” She said, her lilting voice laced with laughter.
Minako smirked at her best friend. “Okay. I’ll be sure not to defile the shrine maiden tonight then.” She said offhandedly.
The miko had the decency to feign offence at the singer’s jest.
O O O
A few hours, a few ‘what if’s’, and entirely too many ‘do you remember when’s’ later, Minako and Rei were huddled next to each other at the kitchen table. Fatigue was written across both their faces; the miko’s eyes kept shutting on themselves and the singer’s chin continually slipped off her palm. A pot of tea that had long gone cold sat between them. Their voices and their brains too tired to continue, the two women finally settled into silence.
“Shall we go to… bed?” Minako’s suggestion hung in the air awkwardly. She was pleased to note Rei nod her affirmation, perhaps too tired at this point to argue or even to be shy. It had been a long day for both of them, after all.
As one couldn’t sleep in outerwear, a change of costume had been previously arranged, and donning matching grey sweats - obviously made for Minako, as Rei seemed almost to be waiting for the next tide in hers - the two women padded back to the main bedroom in single file order.
The apartment was large, Minako had explained, but the only room besides the living area and the kitchen she’d bothered furnishing was the master bedroom, and so the two women found themselves sitting on opposite sides of the lavishly decorated king sized bed, distinctly avoiding each other’s drooping gazes.
‘It isn’t like we haven’t been to Usagi’s slumber parties. We’ve even shared the same futon before!’ Minako chided herself, unable to forget those few sleepless nights laying next to what had then been her unrequited crush. Forcing the butterflies in her stomach to slow the rapid beating of their wings, she lifted the covers and slid between the sheets.
Rei quickly followed suit. A far cry from her accustomed futon atop a wooden floor, and smelling wonderfully of the jasmine scent she’d come to associate with Minako, the miko turned her body towards the warmth of her best friend and surrendered herself to the bed’s comforts without even putting up a fight.
“Ne, Rei?” Minako asked quietly after a moment.
The singer rolled on her side, the miko’s name dying on her tongue as she found the woman in question already fast asleep. Minako smiled gently and snaked one hand outside the covers to brush Rei’s long bangs away from her forehead. Leaning over ever so slightly, she laid the smallest of kisses on Rei’s forehead.
Then, she turned out the light, pulled the covers up to her chin, wrapped one arm lightly around Rei’s waist, and immediately fell asleep.
O O O
Backed up against the wall, her forehead resting against the slightly taller woman’s shoulder, Minako’s dark hair formed a curtain around her face. Her breath came in labored pants as her thighs clenched the familiar hand between her legs.
“Harder,” Minako pleaded, her voice a hoarse whisper.
The dark eyed woman smiled and eagerly complied, and when her best friend’s head tipped back, lolling against the wall, her lips and teeth found the tender skin of Minako’s neck.
“Rei-“ Minako’s hot voice was a puff of breath in her lover’s ear as she crested the wave of her climax, her body tensing, depending on the other woman’s strength for stability as the long haired woman finished giving Minako her greatest gift…
Rei woke with a gasp, her heart pounding loudly in her ears. The strange ceiling, the foreign surroundings, and the pressure that seemed to be holding her body down to an all too soft surface spiraled around in her confused head.
She caught herself right before she jumped out the bed and assaulted her would be attacker, for when she was met with Minako’s sleeping face, the other woman’s head buried against her shoulder and the reassuring warmth of her arm around her waist, Rei’s anxiety vanished in a heart beat and she breathed a quiet sigh of relief. However, the rush of adrenaline having passed, this left Rei all too aware of the arousal she’d felt after the disturbingly vivid dream she’d had.
‘Was it a dream?’ She asked herself, ‘A vision of the past? Or was it …a premonition of the future?’ The miko blushed hotly at where her thoughts had taken her.
Rather unwillingly, Rei glanced at the clock that lay on the bedside table and cursed. She’d suspected she was already late, but she hadn’t anticipated that she’d wasted half the morning asleep next to Minako. Although she knew that her absence at the shrine would raise questions, she couldn’t help but admit that she’d rather spend the entire day in bed with the woman.
‘Not like that!’ The blush returned to Rei’s face full force as she tried to convince herself of her innocent intentions, ‘Just… being with her. First.’ She added the last part shyly.
The miko smiled at her best friend, and allowing herself a few more moments, she marveled at the beautiful innocence she saw in Minako’s relaxed features. She couldn’t help herself from brushing the singer’s slightly curled bangs away from her face in order to lay a gentle kiss on her forehead before she stealthily slid out from underneath Minako’s light embrace.
O O O
Minako had the decency to wait through the sounds of Rei fumbling around in the hall bathroom, assumingly changing back into her clothes from the night before, and then waiting for the sound of the front door to click shut before she cracked an eye open lazily.
Though she mourned the empty spot beside her, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she’d see Rei again. In fact, seeing as how Usagi and the girls had already planned a party that very night to celebrate the success of Minako’s encore finale concert, it would be only half a day before she and Rei were together again.
An easy smile spread across Minako’s face as she sighed and stretched out across the space where her best friend had slept. ‘Maybe I won’t even wait that long.’ She considered.
Pulling the miko’s pillow close to her body, she indulged in the lavender tinged essence of her best friend. A half a heartbeat later, Minako had fallen back asleep, and in her dreams, Rei’s lips were on her skin once more.
O O O
Author’s Notes:
Finally, ne? . But… it’s not over yet. There are another six chapters to Rei and Minako’s story, and its not all sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. So, was it realistic? Plausible? Worth the wait to get them together?
OOO
Preview, Chapter 9:
Three heads turned when the door to their secret meeting room opened to produce not just one of their two late friends, but both at the same time. Completely entranced with each other, Rei and Minako could have been in their own world; standing practically on top of each other, it was a wonder they didn’t tumble down the steps in a tangle of limbs. Three blank expressions slipped into furrowed brows and open mouths as Aino Minako, clinging tightly to Hino Rei’s elbow, slung a comeback to a previously unheard barb,
“Well if you weren’t such a hentai, maybe we would have gotten here sooner.”
Bristling, Rei snapped her head back to glare up at Minako. “Would you stop taking that out of context? I told you, you got that all wrong!”
Usagi set her soda down with a clatter, Makoto stuck the end of her pen in her mouth in wonder, and the slightest of blushes warmed Ami’s cheeks. The three women examined their other two friends as though they were complete strangers.
It would be the beginning of an interesting night.
Back to I Want to Believe in Someone Index - Back to Sailor Moon Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction