Finding Answers
The image of a wounded Venus had plagued her dreams.
The night before, in the precious hour of sleep she’d gotten after fleeing from Minako, Rei had been close to uncovering a piece of the vision that had evaded her ever since it had triggered the memories of her past life almost two weeks prior. But the vision had slipped through the miko’s fingers once more, and after she’d completed her morning duties, she’d found herself in the fireroom trying to track it down again.
‘There must be a link,’ she reasoned, ‘between that past… nightmare and my present life.’
She certainly had enough on her mind, but considering the way she’d left things with her best friend the night before, and especially considering the rampant emotions she’d been dealing with for said woman, this diversion wasn’t entirely unwanted, either. Knowing what she should be thinking about, now that she was equipped with the knowledge that Minako wanted her the same way she’d wanted her best friend all these years, she should be thinking about whether or not she was ready to let Minako into her heart as something other than as her friend…
But a familiar voice snarled at her,
“You should not be here.”
And as Sailor Mars danced at the edge of Rei’s consciousness, she grasped the diversion instead. This time, she would find the vision. Closing her eyes, the miko concentrated, and surrendered herself to the flames.
OOO
With her best friend having been training in the mountains of Kyoto for the past three years, it had been a long time since Aino Minako had climbed the stone stairs of the Hikawa Shrine, but she still remembered each and every step by heart. A mischievous smirk teased her lips as she reached the top. She doubted the miko would expect her impromptu visit, and that made the occasion all that much more enjoyable. She wondered what kind of havoc she might be able to wreak on the shrine maiden’s quiet morning.
Pulling the brim of her baseball hat lower over her eyes, the idol tiptoed around the courtyard. Keeping an eye out for the seemingly ever present novice miko, she slipped onto one of the breezeways and headed down the wooden walkway as quietly as possible. She managed to stumble across Rei quickly, catching a glimpse of the dark haired woman’s kneeling form through a slightly opened shoji screen door.
Minako stood outside that door for some time. She’d never seen her best friend at work before the flames, and from the three quarter view granted her, she stared in awe at Rei’s intense concentration and stiff posture, from her squinted shut eyes to the thin sheen of sweat that beaded across her forehead.
Fearing being caught by a passerby, the singer finally slipped inside and, thankful for her stealthy abilities; for to avoid detection by the extra sensory miko was quite the accomplishment, she quietly slid the paper door fully shut behind her. Resting on her knees at the back of the room, Minako maintained her distance, content to simply observe this never before seen side of the miko.
But when Rei gasped, her eyes squinting shut even tighter, her knuckles turning white, Minako wondered what the psychic was seeing, for she seemed so very frightened.
OOO
Rei gasped. The blood covered ground that was sticky beneath her boots, the rocky outcrop that dug into the exposed skin of her back, the biting stench of sulfur that stole her breath, the howling winds - she knew this place. She knew it in this life, through this elusive memory she’d finally captured, but she knew it in her past life, too. Her wounded commander, hidden from view by the stern and forbidding mirror image of herself, was just beyond her reach. Mars was guarding her leader, but why?
“Venus… is she going to be alright? I have to know-”
Sailor Mars took a step forward. Her hands balled into fists and her words came out short and clipped. “You must leave this place now. It’s for your own good. You should not have seen as much as you have.”
“But-“
Sailor Mars’ brows met. She almost snarled. “Leave! Now!”
The winds howled and the mists that lingered behind Sailor Mars rushed towards Rei. The miko sensed that the frigid blackness that her past self was commanding would sever her link with the memory, but before it could envelop her, Rei lunged forward, grasping the senshi of fire by the wrist.
Sailor Mars was caught off guard. The mists retreated. Those red tinged eyes widened with surprise, but then squinted with anger. “You weak representation of my reincarnated self,” she spat, “what are you doing?”
“Finding answers.” Rei shot back coldly. “Now step aside.”
“You petulant child, don’t you know what’s best for you?” Mars threatened.
In the senshi’s hurtful words, in her cold demeanor, Rei saw herself. ‘No,’ she decided, ‘my younger self.’ She’d matured past this frightened woman. But what had made the Reiko of the past turn like this? The memories that Rei had recovered had shown Mars as having developed into a calm and confident warrior.
Sailor Mars flinched when Rei’s hand came to rest over her heart, and the miko drew in a shuddering breath as she opened a connection between the personas of her past and present.
Never had Rei felt such raw emotion, such intense pain, pain that burned to the touch, pain that burned hotter than the flames of Mars itself. And through it all, as she searched Sailor Mars’ familiar emotions and memories, the only explanation, the single scene that she could see in the woman’s heart, was the image of the wounded Venus, lying broken on the battlefield.
‘It hurts!’
OOO
Keeping an eye on the distressed miko, Minako frowned. Rising from her knees, she crouched on her feet, at the ready to dash to her best friend at a moment’s notice.
But what would she do? What could she do? Rei was obviously in the throes of some kind of vision.
‘What if it’s a vision from our past?’ Minako asked herself, and then wondered what could have produced such a troubling response. She worried her lower lip restlessly. ‘Maybe she hasn’t remembered everything yet.’
But when the miko’s body began trembling uncontrollably, and tears began to course down the smooth skin of Rei’s cheeks, the singer couldn’t hold herself back anymore.
Minako was across the room in two seconds, wrapping her arms around Rei, and pulling her back towards her body.
OOO
A soothing torrent doused the flames of pain that coursed through the link between Sailor Mars and Rei, but still, the miko did not release her hold on her mirror image. Though she felt weak and confused, wondering at the source that had tamed the unbridled fear Mars had shown her, she felt a need to keep the connection open even as the last trace of fear and hopelessness vanished from the long haired warrior.
Finally, the senshi of fire’s eyes slid closed, and to Rei’s amazement, the smallest of smiles found her parched lips.
“It’s been so long since I’ve felt this.” The quiet whisper barely reached Rei’s ears.
The miko tilted her head slightly. “Felt what?”
“You mean you really don’t know?” The cold frown returned to Mars’ face. “You really are still a child.”
Rei frowned in confusion, but then, the warmth was too much, enveloping her fully. She shut her eyes, and surrendered to it.
OOO
She was surrounded by warmth. It was behind her, around her. A soothing, rhythmic beat that originated from behind her slowed her own heart rate and before she realized it, her heartbeat fell into synch with it. The beat seemed tied to gentle puff of warm air, almost a breath that hers soon joined. A subtle scent of jasmine teased her sense of smell. It was a familiar scent, but in that space between dreams and wakefulness, between her vision and consciousness, she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Finally opening her eyes, Rei found herself looking sideways at the familiar caramel gaze of her best friend, and that’s when she realized she was surrounded by Minako; held in an embrace from behind, and sitting on the floor of the fireroom.
She could have reacted; freaked out, yelled, or pushed Minako away, but Rei had been pulled into those caramel pools, and for just a second, she tried to comprehend what she saw in them, what she felt in them. Had it really been Minako who has eased herself and Sailor Mars? Had those emotions that had neutralized those of the fearful senshi of fire really been hers?
Rei was met with her mirror image’s testy voice as a reply, “You really are still a child.”
Minako granted Rei a gentle smile and the long haired woman blinked her eyes repeatedly. The miko found that she didn’t know if she was coming out of a dream or falling into one, but the last thing she realized was that she wasn’t at all alarmed by having found herself in such a position as she may have expected herself to be. And with that realization, the immediacy of the vision she’d chased, even Mars’ words, seemed entirely less important.
“I think we need to talk.” Minako’s words were a reverent whisper in the small room, but given the closeness of their bodies, they were felt as much as heard by the other woman.
Rei nodded slowly, her gaze still stuck on her best friend’s, safe in knowing that Minako must be referring to their present, to the awkwardness of the night before, and not the past memory she had been chasing. Though she would have been content to sit there forever, content in Minako’s warm embrace, she owed the singer answers, answers she’d have to reveal sooner or later.
But beyond the occasional pop and crackle of the sacred flame, Rei could hear the chattering voices of the junior miko, and this set her on edge. “This probably isn’t the best place,” she hazarded, acutely aware of the small shiver that ran through Minako’s body as her warm breath hit the other woman’s neck.
“I have a car waiting on the street,” Minako offered flatly.
Rei lifted an amused eyebrow. “A little confident, are we?” Her verbal barb was subdued, half hearted; she wasn’t looking for a fight.
The singer smirked. She had come prepared, and through a pregnant pause, she looked into Rei’s dark eyes hopefully, “Will you come with me?”
Their eyes implored each other at Minako’s gentle question; unassuming, undemanding, she was leaving the decision in Rei’s hands. Finally, the woman in question nodded, her head still resting against the singer’s collarbone.
“Just let me change.” She agreed, motioning to her miko garb.
Minako was elated at having achieved the precise response she’d hoped for, and Rei was torn between the fear of opening up to her best friend and the sudden need she felt to be as physically and as mentally close to the confusing woman as possible. But still, neither woman made an effort to get up, neither wanting to end their seemingly perfect moment.
Reluctantly, the idol finally released her arms from around the miko, but when Rei didn’t jump away from her as she’d half expected, and only continued to sit there, still leaning into her chest, still maintaining eye contact with her, Minako smiled, and when Rei returned that smile, the singer slipped her arms around the miko once more.
‘Just a couple more minutes.’
OOO
Rei fought to keep a blush and a goofy grin from her face as Minako energetically bounced down the shrine stairs. Occasionally looking back at the miko over her shoulder, a wide grin tugged at Minako’s lips as she eyed the spot where they were physically connected - the singer having a playful grip on the cuff of the miko’s wool jacket.
But when they made it to the street, that energetic bounce, that carefree smile disappeared; for standing in front of Minako’s black sedan was the obviously impatient Saitou Sugao.
“Shacho?” Minako asked.
“Minako-chan!” He wailed, rushing towards his protégé, but at the recognition of the woman she clung to, he awkwardly halted his approach.
Rei smirked. Minako’s manager had remembered the time they had last met, when she had drummed him out of Makoto’s engagement party, insistent that he not infringe on the small amount of time the pop star could spare away from work. The man wavered a moment, but then deciding his purpose was greater than Rei’s, ushered both women into the waiting car, hopped in behind them, and slammed the door shut.
The car pulled away from the curb before Minako could even protest. She sent an apologetic, helpless look to Rei, who simply shrugged it off. This time, the least she could do was wait to see what was so important as to interrupt their date.
‘Outing.’ Rei reminded herself sharply.
“Mou, Mi-na-ko! You should be in the studio cutting your new record right now!” Saitou whined, carefully avoiding eye contact with the unreadable miko for fear that she’d grow two heads and bite him in half. Rei, for her part, did her best not to frighten him further. Still unsure of continuing the conversation with Minako that she’d run away from the night before, and simply content to be in her best friend’s presence, she could be patient with the effeminate man. If just this once.
The nasally voice of Saitou faded as Rei examined Minako in a critical sideways glance. In those caramel eyes, the miko saw a well hidden exhaustion that had surfaced as soon as her manager had pulled out a stack of paper for her to examine. She noticed the subtle slump of the singer’s shoulders and the tight line her lips made. And as she had suspected the night before at the concert, she could see once more that Minako was taking on more than she could handle, that the years of performing and being in the public eye were finally getting to her.
And Rei was unhappy with what she saw.
OOO
Minako’s run in with work ended up lasting most of the day. The miko had been dragged to the singer’s office in downtown Tokyo where she’d bared witness to Minako’s hectic work life. But now they found themselves sitting across from each other in two large easy chairs, unwinding in a small coffee shop along the Juuban strip as the last rays of the setting sun cast a warm orange glow through the smoked windows.
‘She’d have to have ordered hot chocolate.’ Rei mused, trying to shelve Reiko’s memories of a similar event as she palmed her cup of tea. Resorting to only stolen glances, it took a great amount of effort not to stare as the former senshi of love slowly lifted her oversized mug to her lips.
“I’m sorry about today. You must have been bored.” The singer said offhandedly.
“I can’t say it was exciting. For either of us.” Rei looked at Minako meaningfully. “Why is Saitou-san hounding you about your new album so much? Your encore concert was only yesterday, and it’s not like it wasn’t a big hit; the media won’t stop talking about it. Do you really need to start recording a new album so soon?”
The singer sighed. She could put on a show for the entire world, but her best friend had seen right through her, as always. “It wasn’t always like this. I used to love my job. But with each new album you release, each tour you wrap up, the public is always looking for the next best thing. It’s… increasingly stressful.”
“Sounds like hell.” The miko commented between shallow sips of tea.
The singer smacked her lips at her best friend until she realized that the miko hadn’t spoken out of sarcasm, but Minako still felt the need to defend herself. “I guess this all sounds pretty silly to you, huh? I mean, I have this total dream job, but it can be such a drag.”
Rei shrugged almost noncommittally. “I think we all question our career choices at times.”
Minako arched an eyebrow. “Even the great Rei?”
“Especially the great Rei.” The miko returned evenly before sipping her tea. How could she explain to Minako the reasons behind the decision about her career that she’d yet to present to her elders? She couldn’t, not yet.
Finally, she found something she could settle on. “Let’s just say that my career isn’t turning out quite the way I thought it would myself.” Minako looked to her questioningly, and Rei felt the need to shift the topic of conversation back where it belonged, “So, tell me more about the trouble with your career.”
The singer read Rei’s feint but decided to roll with it for the time being. Conversations with Rei were generally a game of picking and choosing battles, and she knew she could come back to that topic later.
“The only thing that keeps me interested at all anymore is my charity division. Well, I mean, it’s under my name, and I barely get to do anything to help with it, but when I do, it makes all the hard work I do seem worth it.”
Rei sat her cup down, her fingers splayed around its rim as she leaned across the coffee table that separated them. “I remember hearing about that. After we…” she stumbled for a moment, looking for an appropriate word so as not to stir up any other uncomfortable conversation, “after we came back, after Usagi righted the world, you set up a charity for children with brain tumors, right?”
Minako crossed her legs and also leaned forward, mimicking Rei’s action and leaving very little space between them. “Yeah. People were a little surprised, seeing as how I wasn’t even suffering with the disease when we all… came back, but the organization was well received and its done a lot of good raising money for research and rehabilitation, not to mention how fulfilling it feels to visit patients in the hospital who are sick with the disease.”
The miko had recognized that spark of excitement that had returned to the singer’s eyes. Charity works were definitely something she could relate to. “So why don’t you just focus on your charity division and put your singing career on hold for a while, indefinitely, if that’s what you want.”
Pausing blankly, Minako looked at Rei as if her best friend really had grown two heads. Could life really be so simple as to follow her own heart? She chuckled a little. And when Rei looked to her in question, the singer set her cup down, stood, and put her jacket on.
“Let’s go for a walk.” The willful idol tossed the instruction over her shoulder and slipped towards the door, thoroughly expecting her former second in command to follow.
The miko had to fumble to catch up, but with Rei on Minako’s heels, the two friends exited the coffee shop onto the busy Juuban sidewalk. The sun having set, the neon light of the city night illuminated their crystallized puffs of breath that hung in the air expectantly.
The rush of salarymen filing from their jobs in a race to the railways crushed around the two, stifling Rei as she fought to keep up with the singer in the bustle. But when Minako’s hand once again found the sleeve of her heavy jacket and pulled her next to her, the normally standoffish miko breathed a sigh of relief. Suddenly, being next to the other woman again, the world seemed to slow down to a more tolerable pace.
And that was when Rei noticed the slight smirk on Minako’s lips. “Just what’s so funny?” She demanded,
“and where are we going, anyway?”
The singer grinned evilly. “While ‘A Day in the Life of Minako’ may have been an interesting diversion, don’t think I’ve forgotten our purpose here. Just because my work interrupted our day doesn’t mean you’ve gotten off the hook for last night. You still have some explaining to do.”
Rei snapped her mouth shut, suddenly finding the sidewalk much more interesting to look at. But she managed to quell the butterflies in her stomach. She was ready for this. Being like this all day; being with Minako, sharing, learning, she felt she’d been given what she needed to feel comfortable with taking the chance of letting Minako get closer to her. She finally knew it would be okay to let this one woman, who meant so much to her, close to her heart.
And when she’d gathered the courage to look back into Minako’s eyes, she realized something else, first. ‘When did we start holding hands?’ She wondered; for the singer’s fingers no longer gripped her jacket sleeve, but were laced between her own fingers snugly.
The singer stopped, causing the distracted miko to press against her. Rei looked up at the upscale apartment building they’d stopped in front of in question.
“My apartment…” Minako said quietly, afraid her voice alone would cause Rei to flee, “will you… come up?”
A slight blush on her cheeks, Rei met Minako’s questioning, hopeful gaze, and with a squeeze of her hand around Minako’s, she led them into the building.
OOO
Author’s notes:
I promise, in the next chapter, they’ll finally talk things through! This chapter was largely set up, but also important for Rei to feel more comfortable with her emotions. Trust me when I say it’ll make the next chapter all that much more… rewarding.
OOO
Preview, Chapter 8:
It was a clock that eventually disrupted them; it’s not so subtle chime reminding the women that it was midnight. The miko moaned her displeasure. “It’s going to be a rough morning.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Minako responded with a slight smirk. When Rei frowned at her, she continued playfully, “you could just stay the night here you know.”
Rei opened her mouth to protest, but then realized she didn’t really want to. However, still having an image to uphold, she looked away haughtily, stole her hand from Minako’s own, and crossed her arms over her chest. “I don’t know. I’ll have to get up pretty early. As a miko, I do have responsibilities to the shrine.”
Playing along, Minako snorted and stuck her nose in the air. “Well then, I’ll just call my driver to bring you back to the shrine. I certainly don’t want the world’s best miko to disrupt her duties.”
The two women chuckled, looked at each other, and broke into a sudden fit of laughter. Finally, Rei acquiesced. “I’ll stay.” She said, her lilting voice laced with laughter.
Minako smirked at her best friend. “Okay. I’ll be sure not to defile the shrine maiden tonight then.” She said offhandedly.
The miko had the decency to feign offence at the singer’s jest.
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