The Power of Love...
Compound Fractures of the Heart.
Mamoru took another glance at his fiancee as she dutifully busied
herself in the sink. She took her 'duties' so seriously, despite the
fact that he had told her, on many occasions, that she didn't need to
worry about being traditional in such a way. When she had first moved
in with him it had annoyed him no end - she had not been the most
able around the house - but she had honestly tried her best.
Gradually, as the year had worn on, her practice and tutelage under
both Michiru and her mother had started to pay off. She was now more
than capable in the kitchen most of the time, and he no longer felt
the urge to assist - at least, not to avert any inevitable disasters.
Now he felt that he wasn't doing enough though. Granted, he was
earning their money, but Usagi had her studies to do as well, and she
did put herself out to make sure she was playing the role of the
'dutiful wife' to the best of her ability. Mamoru was a modern man
after all, and he did actually enjoy cooking for the two of them, so
he had almost needed to fight to be able to do so every few days. He
was flattered that she was so eager, and he hoped she realised how
much he appreciated it, even if it didn't seem quite so necessary to
him.
But, that evening, Usagi hadn't put up as much of a fight when he
had insisted that he cook for them. He hadn't thought much of it at
first, he had been too tired after his commute to the research
institute, but as she had eaten, and indeed as she now washed the
dishes, she did not seem to have her usual bounce to her.
"Usako," he said, wrapping his arms around her as she slowly
wiped the plates.
Usagi closed her eyes and smiled, leaning back into his chest.
She let the plate slip from her fingers and back into the soapy
water. "Mamoru..."
Mamoru smiled and kissed the crown of her hair, neatly between
her dumpling-tails. "Anything on your mind?"
Usagi 'hmm'ed, and picked the plate back up, allowing Mamoru to
support her. "Maybe just a few things," she admitted. "I'm glad the
exams are over, but I don't think I did very well."
Mamoru chuckled a little. "That's not what I heard from Rei-chan.
She said you all seemed to have done pretty well, considering."
"I hope so," Usagi agreed, "but we won't know for a while."
"And?" Mamoru prodded. "I know the exam-anxious you Usako, and
that's not it"
"Ohhh, you do?" Usagi lilted, wiggling in his arms. Then she
sighed. "I guess. You remember those youma?"
Mamoru nodded in realisation. "Ah, I see."
"I was just thinking," Usagi went on. "What really happened to
the Dark Kingdom? I don't even remember what I did. I just know that
I wanted them to be gone, and I wanted everything back the way it
was. And it happened. We all forgot each other, forgot abut being the
Sailor Senshi, everything. So what did I do to them? Are they here
for revenge? Are Queen Beryl and Metallia back, like nothing
happened?"
"I don't think so," Mamoru said, stroking at Usagi's stomach to
comfort her. "That youma said that we killed her Queen, and her
Goddess. I don't think that Beryl or Metallia will be coming back."
Usagi nodded. "I was kind of hoping they were alive, just not
hurting anyone anymore. Maybe the Silver Crystal could have helped
them like that."
"Who can say?" Mamoru replied. Maybe a little pragmatism might
help as well. "I think it is probably better this way though. They
can't hurt anyone, not even their own people."
Usagi didn't like it, but it was true. "So what about that new
youma? I was hoping we could catch her, but it's been two weeks. She
could have done a lot already. I don't like to think what she might
be preparing for Tokyo. And there were two of them. What if there are
more?"
"Then there are more," Mamoru answered. "We can only do so much
Usako. When the time comes, we just have to be ready."
Usagi nodded, and placed the last of the plates on the draining
board. Then, with a gentle smile on her face, she turned around and
buried her head against Mamoru's chest, her wet hands making his
shirt damp as she held him. "Mamo-chan," she said quietly, "I am
trustworthy, aren't I?"
That had come from nowhere, but Mamoru could see why. The other
girls had all had their strange little moments recently. If he had
noticed, then surely Usagi was finding herself lost in the thick of
it. "I trust you with my life. You've saved it often enough!" he
joked, before becoming more serious. "The others do too. All of them.
I'm sure it has all just been a lot to take in for them. Being
banished by that harpy witch, fighting through in that feudal world,
and now the exams and the news people."
He broke their embrace and smiled down into Usagi's grateful
eyes. "Now that the holidays are here I'm sure they can settle in
properly."
Usagi nodded, feeling much better than she had. It was times like
that which left her yearning for more than just an engagement ring on
her finger.
"Mamoru," she said with a contented hope in her voice, laying a
light kiss on his lips, "maybe we could go to bed early tonight?"
***
Haruka slipped her key into the lock as carefully as she could,
and turned it with barely a click. A ghost of a smile lingered on her
lips as she slipped into the house. She took great care not to
disturb her family, but her happy fuzz let the door close a little
more loudly than she had hoped. Still, there was no harm done.
And maybe she had averted some as well. It had been so nice to
see Ami laugh again. Two weeks ago, calling in the middle of the
night, she had become an absolute wreck when Haruka had finally met
with her in the lamp-lit park. How it had happened Haruka did not
know, but Ami had needed someone to be there for her, and she had
chosen Haruka. It had felt so good, to be trusted like that, even if
she knew that she had not been Ami's first choice. But still, she had
done what she could. She had listened, she had learned, and had
comforted and commiserated, and slowly Ami had come out of the shell
that Haruka had not even known the girl had built. So yes, no harm at
all.
No harm apart from Michiru as she stood in the hallway. Suddenly
Haruka felt guilty for it. Worse, Michiru had a darkly blank look on
her face, and she held a pair of scissors tightly in her right hand.
"Another late night rendezvous, Haruka?" Michiru asked. Normally she
would have sounded amused and teasing, but this once there was little
humour in her voice.
Haruka tried to flash her a disarming smile, but that trace of
guilt caused it to falter slightly. Maybe she should have told
Michiru about it, even if it was harmless. "Michiru, honestly..."
"You didn't just go for a drive, Haruka," Michiru said, matter-
of-fact as she stalked towards her lover. "I can check the milometer,
and it won't nearly have gone far enough, will it?"
Haruka didn't even answer that. Michiru just closed the gap
between them, scissors in hand. "This is the sixth time in a
fortnight."
Haruka almost found herself backing to the door as Michiru
reached her, Michiru slipping one hand around her waist while the
scissors in the other stroked at the bangs that fell across Haruka's
right temple. "I just want the truth. Please." She smiled up at her
lover, and tapped her on the head with the closed instrument. "What
am I supposed to think? Come on, I said I would cut that hair of
yours."
Haruka finally let out the breath she had been holding, a
relieved grin forcing its way onto her lips. What had she been
thinking there? Mind you, Michiru had cut a surprisingly menacing
figure just then. "Whew. I'd forgotten about that," she said, as she
was lead to the bathroom.
It was a minor hobby of Michiru's, keeping Haruka's hair in trim.
When she had returned Michiru had been surprised to find that Haruka
had let it grow out so much. The fact that Minako and Ami had also
come back with new hairstyles might have been the only reason,
because Haruka had complained about it constantly now that she was
home. Michiru had tried to convince her to keep it long, and maybe
even let it grow out properly, but Haruka had stood fast. It looked
surprisingly good, but it did take the edge off Haruka's boyish
appearance, and as usual that was enough for Haruka to want it gone.
Haruka did not have a good body image at the best of times, so
Michiru had relented, but she did at least take a few photos to
remember it by.
And now Haruka had forgotten about it?
"So..." Michiru asked as she sat Haruka down, "will you tell me?"
Haruka felt the comb going through her overly long hair, and the
slicing of the scissors as Michiru started her amateur work. "It was
Ami-chan that called. She's... been having a very hard time."
Michiru hadn't know what to expect, but that had not been it.
"Her mother?"
"Partly," Haruka admitted. "It's lots of things. Having to keep
secrets, having to remember things, trying to forget things. She just
needed a friend."
Exactly what some of those secrets had been Haruka didn't try to
think about. She found herself trying to fight back a glow of
gratitude at the words Ami had used. Words that Haruka couldn't let
herself return.
"She couldn't confide in the others?" Michiru asked, not out of
any resentment, but out of simple confusion. What could she have
wanted to talk about that she couldn't say to Usagi or Makoto?
Haruka shook her head, making Michiru hold her steady before she
continued cutting. "They... seem to have their own problems," Haruka
said. "Or she doesn't want to worry them. You know about Rei-chan and
Mako-chan. Don't you?"
Michiru smiled at that. "Usagi-chan told me." With her universal
appeal Haruka might not have needed the ability, but Michiru had been
sure that there had always been a little bisexual curiosity in Rei.
"That's why Ami-chan says she can't tell them. They are happy,
and Makoto is helping Rei-chan with her own problems," Haruka
explained. She knew that Michiru still remembered the incident with
the escaping youma.
"Is it really that bad?" Michiru asked. Rei's actions had worried
her greatly, both for the sake of their mission and for their safety.
"Turn your head."
"I think so," Haruka said, doing as she was told. "I just
promised I wouldn't say what happened to them. It's hard enough on
them as it is."
Michiru nodded as she finished trimming Haruka's fringe. "Poor
Ami-chan. There," she handed Haruka a hand mirror, "what do you
think?"
Haruka smiled as she looked into the mirrors. Her hair was back
in its proper place, cut short into her neck and no longer getting
into her eyes or tickling her cheeks. That was more like the Haruka
she wanted to be. "Better."
"You know, I'm glad you were there to help her," Michiru said,
turning Haruka around to look at her. "Next time, just tell me." She
smiled, her voice softening. "I am trustworthy, aren't I?"
Unbeknownst to both of them, those words that Usagi had spoken
only a few hours before were filled with that girl's same honest,
innocent hope. An innocent hope that Michiru thought sounded very
unlike her.
And one which cut Haruka to the bone. The boyish blonde just
stood there, staring at her lover as tears began to well up in her
eyes. She didn't know what she was doing. Suddenly her emotions were
no longer hers to control. What had she done...
Michiru didn't even have time to voice her sudden concern. In a
fraction of a second Haruka took her in her arms, and locked them
together in a deep, soulful embrace. Haruka's deep and grieving kiss
took Michiru's breath away as Haruka, from nowhere, drowned her with
every drop of passion she could muster.
Even before they could stagger from the room Haruka was burying
her guilt in Michiru's body, her hands roaming beneath her lover's
clothes and across her skin as she desperately tried to show the
depths of the love she felt for her, and atone for what she had done.
Michiru could only be swept along. Where had this Haruka come from?
Here was the strength and the forceful desire that had been missing
from her lover's touch, now suddenly pouring from her in one tearful
burst. Michiru simply melted into that strength, and yet inside her
head she cried as deeply as her wounded partner did. Because, even in
the heat of that sudden, tumultuous sex, she could feel how deep
those wounds were.
'My God Haruka, what happened to you?'
***
Makoto gave a glance towards her boss. The old man was chatting
with their clientele again, filling in the dead time. It was typical
she supposed. He slaved on without her for two months, and now he had
so little to do that he was calling it his vacation time! Still,
Makoto did think that he deserved a holiday, even if all he did was
sit behind the counter and talk to their regular customers.
Matsubashi was a second generation noodle chef, and probably
enjoyed his own cooking a little too much if his heavy build was any
indication. He was also a consummate drinker, and even as he entered
his sixth decade neither his nephews nor Makoto met with any luck in
getting him to moderate that vice. As far as he was concerned it was
no less healthy than anything else, though his doctor would have
disagreed if he ever actually went to see him.
However, Matsubashi was not the jovial type that his habits might
have suggested. Instead he had a mature, quiet confidence that a
person could not help but respect, even if it came from a lowly
noodle shop owner. He made simple, observant conversation, and his
customers went away feeling that, at least for that one meal, their
corner of the world made that little bit more sense.
Makoto thought that he might have made a better priest than
Grandpa Hino at times, not that she would have told Rei that.
And once again she was thinking about Rei. That was happening so
much nowadays. She had to wonder what the beautiful shrine maiden was
doing. With their exams over everyone except Minako and herself would
have nothing but free time until the next semester started, though
Rei would still be helping out at the shrine. Plus the media fuss
over them had died back now, which relieved Makoto no end. She had
been tired of hiding at the back of the small shop with her pans to
avoid the reporters. Granted, it had been good for business, but it
had really put her on edge.
So, she thought guiltily, it was probably about time that she
made good on her promise. She owed Rei a date. The thought made her
flush, and she had to turn her mind back to her pan to make sure she
didn't spill the stir-fried vegetables. She idly dashed in a little
more sauce, just for the tang. This customer liked his food tasty.
Rei. Makoto couldn't help it. The idea of a real, classical date
with her put that veil of romantic stupor over Makoto's eyes. A
sweetly saccharine film, a fancy dinner in an expensive restaurant
somewhere, a strawberry kiss goodnight. Or perhaps even more.
No, Makoto knew she was pushing her luck there. Rei was so cute
and so... girlish, for lack of a better word, but as close and
affectionate as she was it was clear that she still had limits. It
was a little disappointing, Makoto could admit that. For one night in
Seiji Rei had laid with her, bosom to bosom beneath the same blanket.
Even if they had just slept and done nothing more, Makoto's world had
been rocked.
Rei had proved she was willing then, but she had also admitted
that she wasn't ready for anything further yet. Fooling around with
another girl in a drunken college stupor and actually making love to
another woman were two very different things.
On Makoto's part she knew without a shadow of a doubt. She wished
that she still had her virginity, if only so that she could have
given it to Rei. The few relationships in the past that had
progressed that far were the ones that Makoto most wanted to forget.
The ones where she made such a fool of herself, and became so
attached, only to lose it soon after they had supposedly proved their
worth to each other.
Maybe Makoto was still naive, despite her many failures, but she
did want to be with Rei, physically. She was only reserved with her
affections because she didn't want this one to go wrong. She didn't
want to chase Rei away. Makoto had never been intimate with another
girl before, and she didn't want to make any mistakes.
Likewise, she didn't want Rei to be persecuted for her sake.
Makoto had no illusions about that. There were already many people
who would look at the pair of them as though they had contracted some
sort of dread social disease just because they walked hand in hand
down the road. As far as those people seemed to be concerned the idea
of two women passing as a couple was best left to loose, experimental
schoolgirls and only otherwise there to fulfil the fantasies of
unscrupulous men. How Haruka and Michiru coped with that, leading
such relatively high profile lives, Makoto could only guess at. It
made her feel bad as it was, and even worse because it was directed
at Rei as well.
Rei put up a good front though. She was resilient beyond compare,
as if it never once phased her. Makoto found herself admiring that.
Rei's flippant cockiness in the face of adversity just seemed cute,
and beneath it lay a great deal of willpower. Even against an honest
to goodness demon, Rei had not broken. She had fought, in the face of
great pain, grief and doubt, and she had won. Makoto was proud to
have been there to see her girlfriend through that trial, and in
doing so find out a little about who Rei really was. A person, it
turned out, that Makoto had come to cherish deeply.
"Hello cutie, how about an early lunch for a beautiful girl?"
Makoto almost dropped her pan as she was dishing out the food.
"Rei?"
"Heh heh, who were you expecting?" Rei replied, sitting on the
stool behind her, her chin resting on her hands and watching Makoto
work with a quiet air of contentment.
Beside her Usagi giggled at the pair. "That was naughty Rei-chan.
Mmmm, that smells delicious though. I'll have one of those!"
Makoto nodded, smiling from ear to ear. "Coming right up."
"I thought you said you were having trouble," Usagi said as
Makoto served the gentleman a few seats down from her. "You seem to
be busy enough. It's not even lunch-rush time yet.
"True," Makoto admitted, "but you two will be carrying us through
until then." She motioned to the mobile food stand just opposite
them, sitting at the corner of the road that led away into central
Tokyo. It had several people lined up for food already. "That wench
over there," she said with a moderated distaste, "seems intent on
stealing all the casual customers."
"And with American food to boot," Matsubashi said from down the
counter, with the same disgruntled note. He sighed, "As if we need
more hot dogs and burgers around here..."
Rei smiled as the two regulars made their noises of agreement, "I
guess you find out who your real patrons are."
Usagi just shrugged. "I don't know, I like burgers. Not that I'd
ever choose them over Mako-chan's food, unless she was the one making
them."
Makoto chuckled as she threw some more vegetables into her pan
for her friends. "Thanks Usagi-chan."
***
Michiru stared up at the ceiling above her bed. Their bed. That
last night had been amazing, but she wanted to scream. She couldn't
wait for the answers any more, certainly not after what she had just
seen and experienced, but still she lay there, listening to the feet
that paced in the living room or the muffled sobs as her girlfriend
sat down on one of the settees again. Michiru wanted to go, but she
was afraid. Terrified even. This was no longer a simple shadow of
Haruka's time away. It had travelled with her, lying dormant in
Haruka's mind until it could no longer be contained. Michiru dared
not ask, because whatever it was, she knew now that it would hurt
them both.
But Haruka was already hurting. It was almost mechanical as
Michiru swung her legs out from beneath the covers, and staggered to
her feet. Even this late into the morning, the exertions of the night
before glowed throughout her body. That only made it more difficult
as she pulled on a robe.
She padded out quietly, one hand tracing the wall beside her. It
was only a psychological support, but that touch of paper and paint
beneath her fingers was the proof she needed that she was still
moving, and not simply looking on. Haruka sat on the settee with her
back to the hallway. She sat hunched, her mouth hidden in her hands
and her elbows resting unsteadily on her knees. Michiru barely
recognised her. Her Haruka had become so confident and self-
possessed. Where was all that now?
"Haruka?"
Haruka almost fell off the chair, and instead used that stumble
to push herself to her feet. "M-Michiru..." As soon as their eyes met
Haruka's tears began to roll down her cheeks again. Michiru didn't
even get a chance to speak as Haruka grabbed her, enveloping the
fearful artist in her long arms.
"I love you Michiru. I love you so much. You know that. I... Tell
me you know that."
Michiru shivered in Haruka's arms. Yes, that was terror, she
realised. Haruka said it so rarely, and with such deep sincerity,
that when she did it meant so very much. "I know, Haruka. Of course I
know. Just please, tell me what it is." She took Haruka's head in
her hands, guiding it to her shoulder. Haruka was taller than her,
but she just melted into Michiru's touch.
"I'm sorry," Haruka sobbed. "I was all my fault. I couldn't take
it every night, missing you. I couldn't... I wasn't faithful to you."
Michiru's fingers froze. "W-what?" Haruka couldn't have said
that. How? It was a logical impossibility. Michiru hadn't had any
idea what might have been torturing her lover, but that thought
hadn't even entered into her mind. They had each other. That was the
way it was. No past girlfriends had ever even approached what she had
found in Haruka. And for Haruka there had only ever been Michiru.
Until now? 'Oh God...'
Haruka was holding her tightly, but Michiru forced them apart.
She held her lover's arms and looked deeply into those sorrowful
eyes. "That... That doesn't..."
It didn't make any sense.
"I was all alone there," Haruka said. For some inexplicable
reason a small smile blossomed on her lips as she finally admitted
it. "I missed you every night. Every day. Then I found the warlocks,
and suddenly I didn't have any secrets left. They knew me. They saw
into me. They saw everything I only ever told you, even if they
didn't know what it meant. And the power they gave me, it just made
me sick, because I was foolish. I've always been so stupid, and I
never knew. I had to protect them, and I felt so powerless."
Michiru heard her, but it wasn't what she wanted to know.
Actually, she didn't want to know, but it was the only thing that
seemed important inside her numb mind. "... Who was it?"
Haruka felt herself swallowing hard. "She... As soon as we got
back together, she was trying to help me. I don't think she knew it,
but she was. Those little 'thank you's, and smiles - and she tried to
make me feel welcome, even after everything we had done to them."
Michiru could understand that sentiment. Usagi had done the same
for her in forgiving her for their wasted and heartless efforts
against Galaxia. But, "I waited... I thought you were dead, but I
couldn't give up. I couldn't leave you, even then. I would rather
have been alone..."
Those words hurt for Haruka. "I knew you were alive," she said.
"You had to be. You were all that kept me going for so long."
"But I wasn't enough." It wasn't a question, or even an
accusation. It was just a fact.
"I wanted her," Haruka finally said. "After everything, I didn't
know how much more I could take. I found myself wanting her so badly,
but I knew it was impossible. Then she came to me. Ami-chan did."
The pair of them stood rigid in the wake of that name. Michiru
could barely believe it, but the look in Haruka's eyes proved it. She
felt a slow squeezing in her chest. Michiru had always got on well
with Ami. During all the awkwardness after Galaxia they had been
among the first to start bridging the gap towards friendship. How
could that nice girl have seduced Haruka away from her? How could
Haruka have seduced quiet and considerate Ami? Why hadn't Michiru
been enough?
She felt a stinging in her hand, and she opened her eyes to see
Haruka's reddened cheek. It hadn't brought her any catharsis though,
as Haruka stood with her eyes closed and her head bowed in remorse.
Michiru slapped her again. And again, and again. With each hit
she hoped that somehow it would reset the world, and turn this
painful knowledge into nothing more than a dream. But Haruka still
stood there, looking so apologetic. Why couldn't she look smug, or
callous or angry, or anything that would justify the hurt in
Michiru's breast.
"I-It was just the one time," Haruka continued, expecting another
hit at any time as she admitted the worst of it. "She... she didn't
want to take me away from you, and I would never go. But it all got
messed up..."
"So you went back to her," Michiru cut in, remembering what
Haruka had said the night before. "You've been going out to see her,
even while you're with me."
The look of betrayal on Michiru's face was more than Haruka could
bear. "No! That's not it. I... I wouldn't do that. You know I
wouldn't!"
Michiru just looked at her, her eyes burning but too exhausted to
scream. "I thought I knew."
"I was telling the truth Michiru! She needs someone to help her.
She had to remember all the painful things that she's lived through,
and it's so hard for her to put them all back now. And somehow, she
couldn't put her feeling back either. We both needed it then, but she
doesn't have anyone to come back to."
Michiru knew what Haruka meant by that. Ami loved her. "Lots of
girls fall for you. Boys too, not that you try with them."
But Haruka shook her head. "Not her. She means it."
"And what about you?"
Haruka looked at her in disbelief. "She... she knows it won't
change anything. She knew that when we..." Haruka left that sentence
unfinished, but Michiru just stared back dispassionately.
"What about *you*, Haruka?"
Haruka couldn't help her tears. It seemed to take an age for her
to find the courage to answer. "She means a lot to me."
Michiru just let her head fall forward onto Haruka's breast as
her dam burst the tears flowed out in torrent down her cheeks. "Damn
you!"
Haruka wanted to hold her so badly, but she was afraid to even
move. "It... it doesn't..."
"Don't say it!" Michiru cried. "Just go! Get out! I can't... I
can't cope with this!"
When Haruka stepped back Michiru wanted to grab hold of her, and
wanted her to say it was all alright. But even that would just have
made her angrier. She didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to hear
anything.
It seemed like no time at all before the front door clicked shut,
and Michiru's head jerked up to see Haruka's silhouette walking
slowly to the garage. "I didn't even get a chance to fight for you,"
she whispered.
Then, from behind her, a small, quivering voice broke the quiet.
"Mama?"
Hotaru stood there in her adorable red and white dress, confusion
written across her face. Who knew how much she had heard, or what she
thought it meant? She was such a sensitive teenager, and yet it was
her who took Michiru in her arms and sat her down, the pair of them
crying as they held each other. Hotaru didn't even know why she was
crying so hard. She had seen her parents fight before, but this had
been different. She wanted her surrogate father there with them, if
only to be a full family in their tears.
It just wasn't fair.
***
Ami cleaned up her dishes with a small smile tugging at the edges
of her lips. The last week had been good. Putting her head back
together was hard, and in particular the memories of her parents'
divorce still haunted her. Her stupid father, just leaving them out
of the blue one day; at least that was how it had seemed to her as a
child. That had been a useful memory, back when anger and pain had
been the fuel that kept her safe, but little by little the old hurts
were being filed away where they belonged. She knew she would never
truly be rid of those memories, but why would she want to be? They
had made her who she was, and once again she could honestly say that
she liked that person that she saw in the mirror. Mostly.
It had taken time, but she had told Haruka everything. She
doubted that she had ever felt more embarrassed or guilty in her
life, pouring out all her troubles onto the young woman who was, when
it came down to it, the source of some of them. That had been hard.
Telling Haruka that, despite her best efforts, Ami had in fact fallen
in love with her, and knowing full well that there was nothing Haruka
could do about it. But that didn't matter. Ami just needed to say it.
The fact that it was to Haruka herself actually made it easier now.
She had felt horrible about it, as thought she was guilt tripping the
young woman she cared for, but now that it was out they could just
get on with talking.
They had talked about everything. From the ghosts of Ami's
childhood to the latest fashions in art and music - it didn't matter
what it was, as long as Ami could let her thoughts tumble out freely.
She had even ended up giggling like a schoolgirl again, just talking
about their time in Seiji. How she could laugh at it now she did not
know, but somehow, in hindsight, some of those stories had seemed
funny.
A knock roused Ami from her thoughts, and she realised that she
had been standing just watching her dinner things drain. She put her
comfortable musings aside and let her rational mind take control,
where it belonged. Idly she wondered whether it was Haruka at the
door, and she shook her head. How silly that seemed.
The trouble was, she had been right. Haruka looked terrible. She
stood on the apartment walkway with her hair sitting like some kind
of messy thatch on her head. Her eyes looked tired and red, but most
obvious to Ami was the lack of humour on her lips. Even in her worst
moments Haruka tried to pull a smile, and made some kind of flippant
remark, even if she was her own target. This time, however, those
lips lay flat.
"H-Haruka-san?" Ami said, instantly worried. "What's wrong? You
didn't drive here like that did you? Please, come in."
Haruka nodded in thanks and stepped inside, then closed the door
behind herself. Then, as Ami turned to lead Haruka inside, she felt
the older girl's touch rough against her arm, and she was pulled into
a kiss that tore her senses from her. What was Haruka doing? Oh, this
was a dream, she thought, as she felt herself returning that raging
passion. Her back hit the wall and she felt Haruka press her hands
back up, their fingers lacing themselves together.
But Haruka had never been so forceful in her dreams. Never so
despairing. Ami's eyes flew open, moist with the realisation of what
was happening. She turned her head away, breaking their lips apart in
spite of her inner selfishness. It was what she wanted, and she was
being given it freely. But how could she ever accept it?
"Haruka, please, don't do this!"
And Haruka stopped. She just stood there like a statue, their
bodies pressed together, and she let her head hit the wall, tears
coursing down her face.
"Don't let me have this," Ami repeated gently, easing her hands
away from Haruka's touch against the paper.
"She knows." Haruka's voice sounded so empty.
Ami swallowed hard as she heard that. "What happened?"
Haruka just sighed, her eyes clamped shut. "She looked so... I
never wanted to do that to her. I had to tell her everything. She
deserved that much. I told her about what we did... and about what
you told me, and that you mean something to me."
Ami took Haruka's head in her hands, and guided her from the
wall. "Thank you," she said. What else could she say? Hearing that
she had felt her heart flutter, and even knowing that nothing could
come of it, it had felt good. "You can go back, can't you?"
Haruka just stood for a moment before she nodded. "I think so."
She let out a dry laugh. A laugh directed at herself. "I'm going
back, if only for Hotaru's sake. But I love her. I know she loves me.
It's my fault, after all. I just have to hope she can forgive me."
Ami nodded, taking them both to the living room and sitting down
on the couch. "She will. It might take time, but I know how much she
loves you too. She's very lucky."
Haruka nodded, but didn't say a word. She knew it. She just hoped
that their luck would hold out. "I'm sorry, Ami. About that."
Ami shook her head. "Don't be. At least I could kiss you one more
time. I hope we can still talk after this."
"I hope so too."
But they both knew that Michiru's wishes would have to come first
there. She had a very good reason not to want them to see each other,
and neither Ami nor Haruka could go against that. Not with a clean
conscience.
"Well," Ami said, "just in case, I want to say thank you. For
everything. You were there when I needed you. I needed that a lot, on
both occasions."
Haruka nodded, giving her a weak smile. "Likewise."
So they talked, making the most of that evening. They talked
about everything, once again, until tiredness overtook them, and they
lay sleeping in their clothes, resting against each other on the
leather couch. At least Haruka didn't have to drive home.
***
"Ami-chan!" Usagi called, standing outside the girl's apartment.
She pressed the doorbell again. It wasn't like Ami to be late, she
thought. The rest of them, sure, but not Ami.
Minako shrugged. "Maybe she's not feeling well," she ventured.
Usagi looked pensive at the thought. "But she's seemed to feel
better recently," she said. "And she would have told us if she was,
wouldn't she?"
Minako nodded. It was true. It hadn't taken the pair of them long
to convince their long time friend to go out shopping with them. Ami
had been feeling more like company, and even she enjoyed a little
retail therapy every now and gain.
When she did finally open the door the pair were surprised to see
just how dishevelled she looked. Had she only just got out of bed?
Ami smiled at them and ushered them inside, before she excused
herself so that she could make herself look more presentable.
To Usagi it was obvious that Ami was putting up a front, but
despite her best intentions she chose not to pry. That was her policy
now, she had to tell herself. She was concerned of course, but these
days she tried to give her friends a little more credit when it came
to their personal lives. No more sneaking around in disguise on their
dates for example, no matter how much fun it was. She would get the
gossip eventually, when they chose to share it, and she wouldn't have
to get shouted at for butting in when she was inevitably found out.
The same was true here. Ami was the most private of them all, and
even Usagi had, in the past, said the wrong thing at the wrong time,
not realising that she didn't have the whole story.
When Ami did appear again she looked much more like herself. "I'm
sorry, I just had a difficult night. Come on, let's go shopping!"
That was what Usagi and Minako had wanted to hear. "Right!"
Minako agreed as they left. "Let's blow some money, superstar style!"
"Ahh, maybe not that much Minako-chan," Usagi said, apprehensive
at her sudden enthusiasm. "I can't spend all of Mamo-chan's money
this time!"
That was another facet of the story that Usagi was a little hazy
on. Both Makoto and Minako knew more than they were letting on, and
while she could understand Makoto's more reserved nature Minako had
never been one to keep gossip to herself. She thrived on it. The pair
of them had been partners in crime on many a date, watching from the
shadows or wondering about their friends until they had wrapped
themselves up in their own intricate little fantasy world. She knew
Minako was mature beyond her appearance, but that had never stopped
her being free with her information.
Minako had filled her in on a lot of little secrets about their
time away. How she had wanted to give up for example. How Makoto had
taken to wandering around with too few clothes, and how Ami had
become a samurai of sorts. Even how she had approached Haruka.
But there were a few gaps. A few little bits of story that didn't
quite slot together, and not just because of Minako's flighty
narratives.
But she didn't let it worry her too much. The three of them were
having too much fun, and Ami had seemed to leave her cares behind
her, at least for the moment, as they wandered through the shopping
districts, slowly collecting bags. Ami had been persuaded to buy a
new, more daring swimming suit, even it was still more conservative
that most of Minako's collection! They all had at least one new dress
or blouse each, and Minako seemed to be slowing down under the weight
of all her clothes as their stomachs began to rumble.
"Wha..?" Usagi exclaimed as her tummy joined in the choir. "We
missed lunch time! This is an emergency!"
The cafe they found was small, but they had cake available for
dessert, so as far as the girls were concerned it was perfect. "Don't
blush Ami-chan," Minako ribbed as they talked over their meal.
"You'll turn everyone's heads with that thing!" She of course meant
the bikini that she and Usagi had almost bullied Ami into getting.
"That's what I mean!" Ami defended. In truth even she had to
admit that she liked it, but it showed off a lot more of herself than
she was used to.
On the other hand both Ami and Minako were more than eager to see
Usagi again in her new dinner dress. That had been stunning as the
girl had showed it off to them in the changing rooms, and given the
price it had been the only real piece of clothing Usagi had allowed
herself. It was a burgundy strapless one which billowed elegantly
from the girl's hips, slightly old fashioned, but which would be
saved for the most posh of occasions. She hadn't had the courage to
buy something classy like that since their high school dance. With a
few decorations pinned around the bust, and some nice jewellery to
finish the look, it would be worn to every wedding she could get
herself invited to!
Then, out of the corner of her eyes, Usagi saw her. She got to
her feet and waved. "Michiru-san!"
Usagi was too busy calling her older friend over, but Minako
could see the sudden stiffness in Ami as the girl got to her feet.
Likewise, as Michiru came over Usagi's smile slipped a little as she
saw how tense and tired Michiru seemed to be. "Michiru-san, are you
okay?"
Michiru didn't answer. Instead she didn't even stop before she
lashed out, and slapped Ami so hard that the girl staggered back
against her chair.
"Michiru-san!" Usagi and Minako exclaimed, but Michiru just stood
there as somewhere off to her left she heard the click of a camera.
She turned her gaze towards the amateur photographer, and her glare
bore into him so hard that that man bolted, not even thinking to stay
for the rest of the scene.
Ami, however, just stood against her chair, her cheek burning and
her eyes watering as she stared at her half-finished plate. This had
been the last thing she had wanted. Michiru was her friend.
Michiru turned back to her to see the girl genius standing in
shock, just as her slap had left her. She felt a pang of guilt, but
against the sudden boiling in her veins all it did was to stay her
hand, her self restraint slowly returning to her after that vengeful
impulse. "Why?"
Ami just stood there, afraid to look Michiru in the eyes. "I...
needed her."
"I didn't think you were capable of something like this," Michiru
accused. Her words seemed tired though. She had thought too long, and
her conclusions had long been made now. She shouldn't have hit the
girl, although she had more than deserved it.
"I didn't think so either," Ami replied. She looked up to see
Michiru's hurt gaze. "I'm sorry. I couldn't help it."
Michiru shook he head. "I won't let her go Ami-san. Not even for
you."
And with that Michiru turned and left, leaving Usagi staring
dumbly after her. Minako tried to reach out for Ami's hand, but Ami
didn't want to be there. She didn't want to answer Usagi's questions.
She didn't want to be seen by her most innocently trusting friend as
someone like that. Even if it was true. She just walked away, leaving
everything at the table, and as Minako and Usagi called after her
that walk became a tearful run.
"W-what happened?" Usagi stammered, watching as Ami left, Michiru
now long gone. Her eyes felt the itch of sympathetic tears for both
of her friends. "What did Ami-chan do?"
She thought she knew already of course. There was only so much
interpretation that could be made after hearing what they had said to
each other. Usagi just couldn't believe it. She didn't want to. None
of it made any sense to her.
Minako just sighed, and picked up a few of Ami's bags, leaving
the rest for Usagi to carry. The two of them had practically finished
eating after all, and this had gone on for too long, and gone too
far. So, once they were alone at Usagi's apartment, Minako told her.
Even if just confirmed her unwanted suspicions, it still took
quite a while for Usagi to accept it as true. Even from Minako.
***
Mizuno Katsura looked at her map again. She rarely admitted it to
people, but she had a very poor sense of direction. So much so that
she had been fashionably late for her own wedding, at a time when
fashionably late was more than looked down upon in Japan. As such she
had become rather proficient at reading maps, and had even turned her
hand to a little amateur cartography during her meagre spare time as
she had studied for her doctorate.
It had taken her a long time to find the address she had needed,
so she could mark it on her map print-out. One of several addresses
in fact, but any one would do. She didn't put it past herself to
repeat the same thing as soon as she got home from work the following
day, depending on what she heard tonight. It occurred to her that she
should have called ahead, but she was too conscientious to try and
find her mobile phone while she was driving.
Reaching the right road she started looking for the house number,
but she needn't have bothered. There, skipping away from her front
door, Minako gave her parents a wave. Thankfully both she and Katsura
had good brakes, or else the good doctor might have ended up treating
one of her own victims that night.
Minako wobbled at the curb-side and lifted her hand in apology
before she recognised who was inside. "Mizuno-sensei?"
Katsura gave her a small wave and pulled up. "Minako-chan, you
are heading out late tonight." Late being relative, she added to
herself. It had not been dark for very long.
"Not *that* late," Minako confirmed. "We're going out for some
research!"
"Oh?" That sounded like quite the excuse, coming from a young
woman rather than a little girl. "Just don't cause too much trouble.
I know what you and Usagi-chan used to get up to!"
Minako flushed a little in embarrassment. "Yes Ma'am." Then,
before she went on her way she turned back to Katsura. "Umm, I'm
sorry about today. Could you tell Ami-chan we love her?"
Katsura nodded. That girl had hit the problem right on the head.
"Thank you, Minako-chan. I will."
Minako nodded, glad to hear that, before she went to meet up with
the rest of her friends. Katsura just watched the girl jog off before
she walked her way up the short front path and rang on the Ainos'
doorbell.
"Good evening," Kikon greeted as she answered the door. "Can I
help you?"
"Hello Aino-san," Katsura said, bowing slightly. "I believe we
met at Minako-chan's eighteenth birthday celebrations. I am Ami's
mother."
The little lights clicked on in Kikon's eyes and she returned
Kamtsura's bow. "Oh, my apologies Mizuno-sensei. Please come in."
"I didn't recognise you, it has been such a long time," Kikon
said as she led her guest through to the living room. "Would you like
anything to drink?"
Katsura shook her head. "No thank you." Then, on second thoughts,
"Actually, I'm sorry, could I have a coffee?"
"Certainly." Then she turned into the house proper. "Yokozuki, we
have a guest!"
Minako's father soon emerged from his study. "Ah," he said,
trying to place her face, and having better success than his wife,
"Ami-chan's mother, yes? The doctor?"
Katsura nodded. "It is a pleasure to meet you again, Aino-san,"
she said as they bowed to each other. "I apologise for coming around
uninvited, but given our daughters' shared incident I needed to speak
with you."
Yokozuki looked concerned at that. "Has Minako done something?"
Katsura shook her head as she accepted her drink from her
hostess. "No. At least, I hope not. This is... about Ami. Can I speak
in confidence, Aino-san?"
"Certainly," Yokozuki replied, looking serious. "Ami-chan and our
Minako have been close friends for more than long enough."
"Is Ami-chan okay?" Kikon asked, mirroring her husband's
sentiments.
"She is unwell at present," Katsura answered, her voice soft and
worried. "She had seemed to be recovering, but today... I came home
to find her in tears again. Please, if Minako has given any
indication of anything that might have happened while she was...
away, that might have caused this. I hate to say it, but I am fearing
for her state of mind now."
That was quite an admission for anyone to make, especially to
people that Katsura had not spoken with in several years. Both the
Ainos knew it, and that weight came across in their replies.
"I'm afraid not," Kikon said after that moment of silence. "I am
sorry for Ami-chan's condition, but if there is anything more than
she said on the television, she has not told us."
"Not told us," Yokozuki interrupted, "but I have my own worries."
Kikon looked at her husband in shock. "Dear, no, not this again."
Katsura looked between them. "Please," she insisted. "Anything at
all she might have said."
Yokozuki shook his head. "She does not tell us, but there are
things. Small things. So many, that I cannot help but wonder."
Kikon looked down at her hands. "Yokozuki, this is ridiculous.
Please, don't trouble her further..."
Her husband didn't let her finish. "I know I am not much of a
father," he said, "you tell Minako as much often enough, but you know
I am right."
"Then why can't you be more supportive of her!" Kikon countered.
"You have not given her a single word of encouragement since she was
in middle school!"
Yokozuki closed his eyes when he heard that. The worst part was
it was true. "She needs to leave her fantasies behind. She needs to
see the truth. She has to want it enough to fight for it!"
Katsura sat uncomfortably as her hosts argued, but she did not
excuse herself.
Yokozuki finally made his point. "Lots of little things, Mizuno-
sensei, that put together, make something very large. I know you will
not believe me, because I do not believe the conclusion myself, no
matter how I try. Take tonight for example. You saw our daughter
leave?"
Katsura nodded.
"She has done that on and off for the last six years. Even when
she had nowhere to go. She will make her excuses to leave at the
strangest times. We know that Usagi-chan used to do the same," he
said with a smile. "We used to speak with the Tsukinos often, back
when she was living at home." He sighed. "I do wonder when Minako
will decide to move out, but I am glad to have her here. At least
that way we know she is safe when she comes back from these
'researches' they all go on.
"When Ami-chan came back, she brought things, didn't she? Things
that worried you?"
Katsura forced herself to think about that as she tried to follow
the Aino patriarch's thread. "She had some armour, in her bag. They
had to fight there."
Yokozuki nodded. "They were warriors. Minako brought home a pair
of swords. She also brought home memories that keep her up at night.
I would not be surprised if they had to fight harder than she
admitted to those damnable reporters. Perhaps for their lives, and
with lethal force."
Katsura blanched at that. She had known it had been a
possibility, but to have someone else share the idea that her
daughter had been attacked with intent, and even forced to reply in
kind, was something else entirely.
"But it would not surprise me if she had managed capably,"
Yokozuki continued. "Minako would most often disappear when stories
of monsters and the unexplained were prevalent in the news. And when
we came back to Japan from England, Sailor V seemed to have the same
itinerary as we did."
Katsura looked at him aghast. "You don't mean..."
"I didn't make the connection for several years," Yokozuki
explained, while her wife put her head in her hands.
"Yokozuki, don't!"
"You can see it too dear," he said, as if he thought it would
comfort her. He turned back to Katsura. "I don't believe it. The idea
that Minako could be one of those ridiculous heroines is
preposterous, and yet all the leads should make it seem so obvious. I
know Minako is not a... normal girl. Hell, she has midnight
conversations with her cat, and that animal even seems to speak
back."
He gave a somewhat haunted chuckle. "I have even gone so far as
to try and coax words from it myself. But maybe the reason I cannot
believe it is true, in spite of all the coincidence, is because I am
not meant to. Perhaps not all the magic the Sailor Senshi wield is
for combat. Can you imagine what it might mean if a superhero's
parents knew of their children's power? It is better that we cannot
believe, I think."
"So yes, Mizuno-sensei," he said as he finished his fantastical
narrative, "I think there may be any number of reasons for your
daughter's condition, and just as many as to why she cannot, or must
not, confide in you. Of course, I am not even able to believe any of
this as true, and I would bet every yen I own that you feel the same.
It is better that way. There is no harm in a father having wishful
fantasies about what his daughter might be after all, when he knows
in his head that they cannot be true."
He gave Katsura a surprisingly comforting look. "As long as you
do what you are able, the Senshi will attend to themselves. We may
not know much about them, but even we can see them progress in the
news reports and gossip columns."
Katsura couldn't believe it. It was the idealistic ramblings of a
lunatic, obsessed with his daughter's position and status. Even the
very concept was laughable. But then, as he said, surely that was the
point? And if so, what could she do to comfort Ami now?
And from beneath the settee Artemis lay, his tail thrashing
worriedly. Minako's father had it dead to rights. 'This is bad.'
***
That night's hunting had once again proved fruitless for the
Senshi. Either the youma were simply sitting on their hands in the
depths of the Tokyo sewer systems, or some place equally unpleasant
and labyrinthine, or they were able to cloak their activities beyond
the Senshi's powers to detect. Setsuna had only stumbled onto the
activities of the super-jointed shiva demon and the fox girl after
all.
"That seems to be the way it happens too often," Usagi lamented,
sitting at Makoto's living room table the following morning. The
girl's flat was back to rights after several spates of cleaning, but
it had taken her a while to invite them all over. "Until they start
trying to get us out of the way," Usagi added.
"Coincidence is a powerful tool of fate," Rei agreed, "but it's a
bit too fickle to count on."
Makoto shrugged as she tucked into her breakfast bowl of cereal.
"There's nothing wrong with getting lucky. We shouldn't look gift
horses in the mouth."
"I was going to say that!" Minako said, grumping that her proverb
had been stolen out from under her. "It's all that bad horse-breath.
Anyway, that's just the way it works. Power attracts power, and we're
pretty powerful!"
"Well, worrying isn't going to make it any better," Makoto said,
saying what the rest of them wanted to think. "We can't track them
down if we don't have anything to go on. Something will turn up. We
can fight at the last minute if we have to. We've done that before,
and these ones didn't seem too strong."
"They got away from all ten of us," Minako reminded. "And stop
looking like that Rei-chan," she added, seeing her friend's face
fall, "No-one is blaming you."
Makoto nodded and gave Rei's hand a quick squeeze. Usagi smiled
at them, but it wasn't nearly her usual, carefree sort of smile.
"Yeah, it doesn't matter Rei-chan. I'm proud that you protected
everyone. I know you wouldn't have done it if you had a choice."
Rei had to sniff, knowing she was far too old to get so emotional
over that reassurance. "Thanks, dumpling-head."
"Hey, I'm being nice here!" Usagi said, taking her turn to grump
as Rei made fun of her. She sighed, her mind turning back to other
things, "It would be better if Ami was here. She'd be able to find
them in no time, I bet."
The other three looked down at the table, and Makoto spooned the
last of her breakfast into her mouth, just to stop herself saying
anything. Of course, she had to say it anyway. "Like I said, worrying
isn't going to make it any better, Usagi-chan. She made her decision,
and now this is the consequence."
"Mako-chan!" Usagi all but cried, "You're her best friend!" Her
voice soften as she realised she was shouting. "How can you say it
like that?"
Makoto looked shamefaced at that, but she wasn't going to take
those words back. She was speaking her mind, and she felt that she
had it right. "She is, but she knew what she was doing. She's smart.
Maybe that means she wanted someone more, or maybe it was because of
that wine, but she didn't regret it. I hope she still doesn't, even
if it means loving someone who can't love her back."
Usagi looked to Makoto with tears glistening in her eyes,
eternally sympathetic for the plights of her friends. "She really
loves Haruka-san?"
Both Rei and Makoto nodded. "I think so," Rei said. "She hasn't
said so since we got back, but the way you said she was looking
yesterday..."
"I know unrequited love," Makoto agreed. "Maybe Ami-chan doesn't
react like me, but that sounds like it."
"I guess I can see why Michiru-san was so angry," Usagi said,
fiddling with her thumbs. "Hotaru-chan said that Haruka-san and Ami-
chan were meeting up so that Ami-chan would feel better."
"You don't think they..." Rei said, coming to an obvious if
unwanted conclusion.
Makoto shook her head. "Ami-chan is smarter than that. She knew
the limits of what she could have. I'm sure."
Rei gave her an unhappy look after that. "I guess I was too
wrapped up to listen to her after all," she said glumly. Some friend
she was, she thought.
"Tell me about it," Makoto agreed. "I had an empty message on my
machine from her number. But you need a shoulder too Rei."
Rei looked at her, appreciating the thought, but it didn't make
her feel much better about it.
"But why didn't she tell me?" Usagi asked, feeling forlorn that
she hadn't been trusted to know. "You could have told me. I wouldn't
have said anything."
"That's why," Minako replied seriously. "It was supposed to stay
secret, once we were back. They both wanted it that way. We promised.
I guess Haruka-san just felt too bad about it or something."
Usagi nodded, understanding that. "Actually, I think I know how
Ami felt, just a little bit."
The other three were surprised at that, and Usagi found three
pairs of eyes looking at her strangely. "It's kind of embarrassing."
However, none of them pushed her. Thinking back at least one of them
could imagine what Usagi meant, and it was behind them now anyway.
Their princess was living with her destined prince, and they were
both happy.
"Does Ami-chan know that?" Makoto asked eventually. "She didn't
want you to look down on her. Maybe, if she knew that you know how
she feels, it would help."
Usagi didn't meet Makoto's eyes. "It wasn't exactly the same. I
didn't..."
"I don't think the specifics matter. She thinks a lot of you, as
a friend, and she values your trust."
Usagi took a moment, before she gave a hesitant nod. "Maybe after
we leave Rei-chan's tonight." She turned to the girl in question.
"Are you going to be okay, doing the reading for us?"
Rei nodded. "We need to find those youma, so I'll do it. I'm the
one that let them get away. It's not nearly as specific as Ami's
computer or Michiru-san's mirror, but it's worth a try. As long as
everyone is there we should get something at least."
Usagi nodded in thanks. "I'll tell Michiru-san and the others
when I see her this afternoon. And I'll talk to her about Ami-chan as
well. And see if Haruka-san is okay."
She sighed. "I hope Hotaru-chan is okay too."
***
Michiru looked better now, Usagi thought. Still not right, but at
least she had smiled genuinely when the girl had turned up on the
doorstep, her practice muffins in hand.
"I'm sorry you had to see that, Usagi-chan," Michiru said, taking
one of the cakelettes and ushering her guest in. "I should have
handled it better than I did."
Usagi shook her head. "I guess I can understand. But it did hurt.
I don't want two of my best friends fighting."
Michiru sighed as they entered the kitchen, and took a chair for
herself. "We won't fight," she reassured. "I don't think Ami-san
wants to, and I'm too tired for it now. I just... I want it to go
away."
"You still love her, don't you?" Usagi asked, but it wasn't much
of a question. More of a prompt.
"Yes," Michiru replied, the muffin encircled in her hands. "But
love isn't the issue."
Of course not, Usagi thought. There was no way that those two
could fail to love each other, but trust was something far more
fragile. Usagi felt bad for her. Michiru didn't deserve this. But
then, neither did Haruka. Or Ami. But Michiru most of all. She hadn't
even had a say in it. She just had to suffer the consequences, while
the pair in question hoped that she would forgive them. Under the
circumstances, that was a difficult thing to do.
Michiru took a bite out of the muffin, and chewed slowly. "Hmm,
it is still a little floury Usagi-chan. You shouldn't be so timid
with the flavourings, just because you used to over-spice
everything."
Usagi nodded. She knew it, but she wanted Michiru's help with
them, so she wasn't about to try and cover up her mistakes.
Which was, strangely, exactly what Michiru advised. "It's nothing
terminal though. A little flavoured icing would fix it easily."
Usagi smiled at the roundabout praise. It was a far cry from the
stern admonishments Michiru had dolled out when they had started.
Michiru's mind wasn't really on the cake though. "I'm sorry
Usagi-chan, but I would like to cancel our lesson today."
The blonde nodded, the sadness creeping back into her eyes as the
blue cloud over Michiru reappeared. "Okay. But we're having a fire
reading tonight, at Rei-chan's shrine. She says we should all be
there."
Michiru nodded. She did not relish the thought of seeing Ami
again so soon, but this was work. She could be professional. "We will
be there, and I'll tell Setsuna as well."
Usagi nodded. "Thank you." Then she paused, biting her lip just a
little. "Umm, is Haruka-san here?"
Michiru nodded. It annoyed her that Usagi wanted Haruka's
company, no doubt to try and make her feel better, but the pair of
them had always been good friends. As long as they hadn't been
enemies in their sailor outfits. She shook her head a little to clear
away those thoughts. That had been a long time ago, and of course
Usagi was worried about her. She had come to comfort Michiru herself
after all, and such a sweet girl wouldn't be able to bear playing
favourites.
"She's in the garage."
"Thank you Michiru-san," Usagi said, with a reassuring smile. "Be
strong. It'll all work out, you'll see."
***
In the garage Haruka sat crouched in front of her motorbike. She
worked on it mechanically, not really noticing what she was doing as
she cleaned it and kept it in good, tight shape. Until Usagi called
her name, that was.
"Haruka-san?"
Haruka wobbled a little in surprise, before plopping backwards to
actually sit on the floor. She hadn't been expecting any company for
a while yet. "Dumpling," she said in an affectionate but unusually
listless voice, "to what do I owe the pleasure?"
Usagi just shook her head. Haruka was still Haruka, even now. "I
wanted to see how you were doing? Are you okay?"
So Usagi knew, Haruka thought. She dropped that playful air. It
was too hard right now anyway. "I'm okay, I think. I guess we'll just
have to wait and see." She gave Usagi a smile, but it was full of
longing. "I screwed up."
But that wasn't right either. "We did what we needed. I can live
with the consequences. I just wish they didn't hurt so much."
Usagi didn't know what to make of that. Was Haruka making excuses
to her? To herself? She didn't want to think about that, because it
just reminded her how much she hurt seeing Michiru so depressed.
"How is Hotaru-chan?"
Haruka looked back to her bike, but didn't really see it. "I
don't know," she said honestly. "I haven't seen her."
"Oh." That must have hurt so much, for both of them, but Usagi
couldn't find anything else to say.
***
It had been awkwardly quiet at the shrine as the younger girls
had waited for their older counterparts. Despite Minako and Usagi's
best efforts, conversation had been short and abrupt. Ami wasn't
being talkative - who could blame her? - and the other four seemed
cautious of saying anything that might offend her, even though they
wanted her to talk about her feelings with them. At least then they
would have been out in the open, and they could have tried to comfort
her. As it was even the cats seemed uncomfortable, and Artemis lay on
Minako's lap, his tail involuntarily restless, while Luna simply sat
with a wary gaze in her eyes.
But, as it was, Ami broke the quiet herself by dragging Makoto
away for a moment, under a natural pretext: everyone was grateful for
the offer of drinks, just to break the silence.
Of course they had all seen through it easily, Makoto most of
all. "Ami-chan, what is it?"
Ami gave her a ghost of a smile as she got the glasses from Rei's
kitchen cupboard. "Don't worry Mako-chan, I won't break. I just
wanted to say something. We have been good friends for a long time.
You keep saying that I can talk to you if I need to, but you do know
that you can do the same, come to me if you ever need help, I mean.
If you need money, for example."
Makoto looked at her in surprise, before her face hardened a
little. Where had that come from all of a sudden? "Rei..."
"Don't think of blaming her," Ami said, pre-empting Makoto's
thoughts. "School is important Mako-chan, not like all our other
silly problems. If you ever needed money, then Mother would be more
than willing to help you."
Ami's smile grew strangely amused, halting Makoto's comeback.
"She likes you, you know. She thinks that you are a very strong
person, growing up alone and making a success of yourself. She
respects you a great deal, as we all do. Please remember that."
Makoto was knocked reeling by that admission. Someone like
Mizuno-sensei respected an awkward orphan who got kicked out of
middle school for fighting? For that moment her worries were turned
completely on their head. "Uhh, thank you, Ami-chan. But... I can't
take money from you..."
Ami thrust a drink into the girl's hands and shushed her. "Yes
you can, if you need to. Even if it's just a loan. If you wanted to,
you could pay us back at any time."
Makoto blinked, feeling very stupid in comparison to her long-
time friend. Ami on the other hand just poured the other drinks. "I
should have said it ages ago," Ami finished. "But I've been rather
selfish lately."
"Don't talk like that," Makoto replied, taking a share of the
drinks, but as they headed back any further conversation was
curtailed as they heard the main door slide open, and shut.
The 'Outers' were there. Ami paused and took a breath before she
returned, and she was careful to hand out her friends' drinks before
she turned to see the others. Michiru and Haruka looked very self
possessed, as she had expected. They above any of them, except
perhaps Setsuna, could set their own emotions aside when it came to
their work, even without their sailor suits. Setsuna herself on the
other hand carried an air of compassion in her eyes. As usual it
seemed that she knew more than the rest of them, although how much
was always debatable. It actually made Ami feel a little better,
knowing that someone could see something she could not, from such a
far removed perspective as Setsuna had. It did at least give her hope
that this was simply a moment in the passing of their lives, and not
the terminus that it sometimes felt like.
And then she saw Hotaru. There was fire in her eyes, eyes which
usually held such a calm and wise smile, be it one of genuine
happiness or one of sad understanding. Ami knew what was coming, but
she didn't try to move. If anyone deserved to hit her, it was Hotaru.
Ami remembered what it was like being a teenager like her, and under
surprisingly similar circumstances. They were both disliked at times
for their talents.
It was only a weak slap, almost hesitant, but if anything it hurt
more than Michiru nearly knocking her off her feet. Ami had seen it
coming, and had felt it from the girl's eyes rather than her hand.
Hotaru recoiled instinctively as soon as she had done it, still
angry, but now fearful and apologetic as well. "I'm sorry!" she
blurted, "but... How could you!" She threw down a magazine, the page
open to show a photo of her mother and Ami in the aftermath of the
hit she had received at the cafe.
So it had been published after all, Ami thought. And with a
similarly dramatic article no doubt, entirely made up of supposition
and gossip. She had an irrational urge to read it, but she knew that
whatever it said it would only upset her. Goodness only knew what
stories they had created to give the image some sort of meaning.
"Hotaru! Stop it."
Hotaru whirled around on her heels, suddenly confused as she was
scolded. "But Michiru-mama!"
Both Michiru and Setsuna shook their heads. "That's enough,"
Michiru said, her aura of collected competence slipping for a moment
to show just how emotionally drained she was.
As it happened Makoto found herself looked at Haruka. She just
stood there, almost dispassionately. What was going on inside her
head? Why didn't she stand up for herself, or at least for one of the
girls, no matter whose side it was!
But the moment passed, and a stern voice turned every head in the
room. "We aren't here to quarrel, and certainly not to fight each
other!" Luna castigated. This wasn't just the voice of Usagi's long
suffering cat now, this was the voice of a royal advisor, who had had
more than enough of their foolishness. "Just because you are not in
uniform does not mean your mission is your second priority now! If
you must bicker and squabble then do so when we are not assembled for
important business, and you can be sure that I will have words to say
on this matter when you do!"
Then, satisfied that her girls had been properly spoken to by
their dumbstruck faces or downcast eyes, she took a deep breath to
calm herself. "Rei-chan, if you would please."
Rei stood as one of the dumbstruck for a moment longer, before
she nodded and led them all through to the fire room. 'Here goes
nothing,' she thought as she took her seat in front of the huge
contained blaze, and closed her eyes, reaching out for the spirit of
the fire. She tried to put what she had just seen out of her mind.
A first there was nothing. That was always the way. She was
slowly clearing her mind, focusing her consciousness into the flames.
Sometimes it would be minutes before she saw the first snatch of an
image, other times it could be hours. She never knew at the time. One
minute it would just be the roar of them flames, the next she was
there. She saw herself running, with the rest of the Senshi. It was
the same as her nightmare had been, running through the blackness,
and somehow, along the way, they disappeared, one by one. But there
was more this time. There were flashes of presence. One black and
bitter, another angry and flailing bluely. 'That shiva demon,' Rei
thought, before another flash, this one of muscles and determination.
A few feathers fell into the blackness, only to catch the wind and
soar.
Then Rei remembered what happened next, and it did. The hand
touched her shoulder, from in front this time, and Rei no longer
controlled the flames. They controlled her. She was burning. She
screamed, and jerked out from the trance, scrambling back away from
her fire. She knew that touch. "No!"
Only Usagi's arms were there to bring her back as she tried to
shake off that nightmarish feeling. She looked up to see the others
just staring at the fire, and Makoto standing in front of her, only
inches from the licking flames, with her arms spread wide.
It was Desir. She grinned from the fire, her own flaming hair
flowing down her neck as the spiritual fire licked across her orange
skin. She sat there with gleeful red eyes and a blade-fanged smirk
that was painted across her orange lips. "Aw, is that any way to
treat an old friend?" she asked, feigning hurt and grinning all the
wider. "And little Rei has done so well! Her knight in technicolor
armour is ready to get incinerated for her! Aren't you the noble
one!"
"Leave!" Makoto and Haruka barked in unison, Haruka already
raising her transformation pen. "You won't have her again!" Makoto
said, her voice deadly serious.
"Oh, calm down dear," Desir said with a careless wave. "I'm not
here to 'get' her. I have a present!"
From a non-existent pocket in the clothes she was not wearing she
pulled out a small, purple ball. It looked smooth, and shimmered as
Desir rolled it around in her hand. "Here, catch!" She tossed it
lightly to Haruka, who reached out to catch it reflexively.
The second she did she regretted it. Who in their right mind
would have taken gift from a demonette without at least seeing what
it was first? But her body, trained by years of sports practice, had
decided for her. The second the ball touched her skin the glass-like
surface folded and broke, dissolving away as Haruka's hand was bathed
in wisps of light purple smoke.
Her heart sank as she felt a familiar chill, but this time it
ravaged her body like a snowstorm. She felt that essence of somebody
else permeating her body, but on a level she had never known existed
when she had been apprentice to the Warlocks of Seiji. This was so
far beyond her that it made her head hurt just to think about what it
might mean.
And so much of that essence felt familiar. It was Master Daltass,
mixed with something uneven, like a wind-whipped thread woven into
the calm cloth, which she could only guess was Desir herself. And
someone else she didn't recognise; human, but who hadn't communed
with her in the Art. Her hands went to her stomach and chest in
worry. "What did you do? What did you do to me?! Why did it feel like
Master Daltass?!"
Desir just smiled. " Oh, that bastard gave me a little parting
gift, to keep me occupied I suppose, in case I ever found my little
Rei again. It took me ages to work out what he'd done too. I think I
was actually supposed to give it to Ami, but I don't think it matters
too much in your case!"
Haruka swallowed hard, remembering, and her left hand went to
join her right on her stomach. "You didn't... He wouldn't..."
Desir's smile was positively glowing, but the trace of malicious
mischief there was undeniable. "Wish granted, Haruka-kun!"
***
To Be Continued...
***
Author's Notes: Yes, I'm evil, putting in a cliff-hanger like that! I
would say not to write to me about it, but anyone giving feedback
probably will anyway!
Also, my apologies to whoever came up with the second
half of the chapter title this time around. I know I've read it
somewhere before, and I'm sure it's been used many times since, but
it just wouldn't stay deleted. And imitation is the most sincere for
of flattery after all!
Please send any comments and constructive criticism to me.
They are always greatly appreciated, and there is no better reward
for a writer than to hear back from the readers.
Many thanks to Richard King for his proofreading assistance.
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