Dear Red, I've got a problem. It's kind of hard to explain, but... Well, there's this guy, you see... gods, I didn't think anyone was allowed to be so damned gorgeous. He's smart, handsome and totally and utterly crazy about me, plus... ooh, I get goosebumps just thinking about him. You might almost say we were destined to be together. That's not the problem, though. The thing is, there's this girl... I know what you must think of me, but... I just can't help it. I can't explain it, but she just does something to me. If you saw her, though, you'd understand - there's something about her that makes me go weak at the knees every time I look at her. Just sitting and writing this is making me shiver all over... But that's not quite the problem either. Ever since we met we've always been at each others' throats. Maybe we just rubbed each other up the wrong way, or something. I never quite worked out why, and I don't think she did either. Leastways, not until a couple of days ago... But I'm getting ahead of myself. I guess this won't make much sense unless I start at the beginning, will it? ------------------------------------------------------------------ It was about a week ago that it all started. I'd managed to persuade Mamo-chan to take me on a little shopping trip, the sun was shining, his arms were full of bags, and everything seemed right with the world. We were walking slowly back towards his apartment, and I was taking the time to put my arms around his waist and think a little. (It'd probably surprise my friends to know that I can manage to walk and think at the same time, but I've got no intention of telling them.) Anyway, I was thinking about "us" - we'd just... well, let's just say that we'd been through a lot together. A lot. Things had finally calmed down, and for the first time I was wondering what it was going to be like to live together for the rest of our lives. Much to my father's disbelief, I'm sure, Mamoru had always been the perfect gentleman towards me, but after all that had happened, I'd finally decided that I wanted to take things further with him. That and the thought of it had been keeping me awake at nights for weeks... ------------------------------------------------------------------ Much later, back in my own room, I wondered why I hadn't just told him earlier. The thought of spending the night with him had had me shivering the whole time I was with him... but... when I kissed him goodbye, I'd thought of her. Gods, I don't think kissing anyone had ever felt as incredible as that. I'm just glad I managed to stay on my feet and get out of the door. So there I was, totally stuck. I wanted him, but I... I wanted her as well. How on earth was I meant to choose between them? I'm glad nobody was around to see me just then, because I'm sure my smile would have sent them running for the hills. You see, I had a plan...
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