Plus de Compassion (More Than Sympathy) (part 3 of 7)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by April Eagle

Back to Part 2
“I’ve heard you’re the fastest boy in your class?” asked the boy and 
stepped in Haruka’s way. He was one head taller than her and two years 
older. He was the Champion of Mugen Gakkuen and now he felt threaten 
by the younger boy with the short blonde hair who became very known. 
The other members of the athletics club said that he didn’t train that 
much. When they practised the high jump he simply took his Walkman and 
ran through the big hall until it was his turn to jump. He simply 
jumped and beat them all without any effort. Although he was detached 
and hardly spoke to anyone he was very popular with the girls of the 
team and a lot of boys had a high opinion on him.

“I am Itô Tsukasa and I am the fastest boy of whole Mugen Gakkuen.”

The boy just raised on eyebrow and looked silently up at him. Then he 
shrugged his shoulders and wanted to go away. But Tsukasa grabbed his 
right arm and hold him back.

“I am the fastest one of Mugen Gakkuen and you will never break me!” 
he declared so loud that some pupils looked curious at them.

“That’s nice for you:” answered Haruka and pulled herself free. 
“Congratulations to your talent.” She took her bag over her shoulder 
and went away, slightly shaking her head.

She left a very angry Tsukasa behind.

Silently she entered the sport hall. Her lessons took place in the 
afternoon after lunch so she always came in her dark tracksuit to the 
lessons. Not that she had to hide her sex. It was alike to her if the 
others thought of her as a girl or a boy. She simply didn’t want 
anyone seeing the scars that covered her back. Michiru always told her 
that they weren’t visible anymore but Haruka still felt each single 
one.

Haruka winced as the pain returned inside her belly. But she didn’t 
care about it. She took her Walkman tight in her hands and took part 
at another lesson of the sport’s team. They played basket ball and 
everyone wanted her to be in his team. She beat them all, she threw 
the most baskets. But the teacher wasn’t satisfied with her, because 
it was a team’s game and not a single competition only for her own. So 
she finished playing after the second try, took her Walkman again and 
run as she always did when the others didn’t want her.

“You look tired.” Michiru smiled up to her as she picked her up from 
the drawing’s club. Today they drew a rose and the teacher was very 
proud about her pupils, especially Michiru.

“The rose looked so real, I almost wanted to smell at it.” Laughed 
Rumiko and winked goodbye as she run to the door. Since Sylvester she 
had a boyfriend and could hardly wait until the lessons are over to 
see him again.

“Bye.” Replied Michiru and frowned as she felt how Haruka walked 
slower than normal. “Your time of the month?” she asked and saw how 
the young racer got pale.

“Hope not.” She mumbled then her face brightened up. “What do you 
think about a romantic dinner at that Italian restaurant we discovered 
last week?”

Michiru felt that Haruka simply wanted to change the topic but she 
smiled back at her while she rolled into the elevator.

“I’d like to.”

***

Snow covered the branches of the trees, the meadows and the usually 
sandy ways in the park. The Italian restaurant was in the near and 
they decided to go for a walk before. It was peaceful at the park, 
some birds who didn’t escape the bitter cold in autumn sung and the 
appeasing rushes of the sea could be heard.

“I like it here.” Declared Michiru and cursed the wheelchair as one 
wheel split over the icy underground. Haruka was at her side and hold 
it automatically.

“Hai, it’s so calm here.” Replied the young racer and took the sun 
glasses on. The snow could be very bright and she didn’t want to 
stumble blind through the park.

“You baka! Look what you’ve done!” They heard the angry voice before 
they saw the two girls chasing each other.

“You don’t deserve it better!”

“But it was my best jacket. Now it’s wet and surely ruined for all 
times!”

“Baka!”

Before they could react the two girls crashed into them. Haruka let go 
of the wheelchair and fell into the snow as a girl with long black 
hair pushed her with her. The other girl wasn’t so lucky. She stumbled 
over a hidden stone and landed hard on the wheelchair. Michiru gasped 
and automatically grabbed the arms of the girl so that she couldn’t 
hurt herself anymore as she almost split from her lap and crashed on 
the icy way.

“What...” whispered the young violinist and looked in a innocently 
smiling face that was surrounded by long blonde hairs. Two plaits 
jumped between a red cap as the girl came slowly on her feet again.

“Gomen...” She stammered an bowed.

“That’s typically for you!” declared the other girl and stood up. She 
didn’t even care about the surprised Haruka. She made a snowball and 
came over to the younger girl and tried to cover her face with the 
snow. The blonde girl screamed and tried to defend herself. They both 
lost balance and landed in the snow where they kept fighting.

“Baka!”

“Jerk!”

“Baby!”

“Monster!”

Another girl with long brown hairs came running. She was very tall and 
looked very strong. Her brown eyes shone angry down at the two and she 
took a deep breathe.

“Usako! Rei-chan!” she screamed and crossed her arms before her chest. 
“Don’t you feel ashamed at all?” She turned around and rolled her 
eyes. “And you Ami-chan! Can’t you be a little bit faster? You’re as 
lazy as a turtle!” Another girl with shoulder long blue hairs shook 
her head and gasped hard for breathe as she stopped. She hold a thick 
book in her right hand and Haruka frowned. She knew that girl but she 
didn’t know where from.

“Gomen. Hope they didn’t kill you. But they simply can’t behave!” said 
the tall girl and shrugged her shoulders. Then she tried to get the 
two fighting girls apart and got involved in the snow battle, as well. 
Her red face got angrier as the blonde girl put snow in her collar and 
soon the three rolled in the now messed snow next to the wheelchair.

“Gomen.” The girl with the book blushed ashamed and bowed. Then she 
stretched her hand out to the girl who was sitting in the wheelchair. 
“I am Mizuno Ami. I am glad to met you.” Uncertain she looked back at 
the still fighting friends. “Hope you are glad to met us, too. Don’t 
be afraid. They aren’t always so. Well, at least not the whole time.”

At that moment Michiru burst out into laughter.

Haruka came to her feet again and tried to clean her jacket and her 
trousers. Surprised she looked up as she heard the happy noise she 
hadn’t heard for over two years.

That’s the first time that I see her laugh after that terrible 
accident.

The other three girls stopped their fight and looked up, too, as 
Michiru simply couldn’t stop. Tears were running down her now redden 
cheeks and she shook helpless her head.

“That’s all your fault!” declared the tall girl angry at the other 
two. “Now she’s laughing over you!”

“You’ve deserved it! Look at yourselves. You’re over and over covered 
with snow and Rei looks like a fallen angel with her dark hair.” 
Giggled the girl named Ami. “You’re still children and you look so 
funny.”

“Children?” Three angry girls attacked Ami with snowballs and one ball 
hit the still laughing Michiru. She reached for the high snow beside 
the way and joined the snowball battle. She lost her cap and her long 
sea green hairs surrounded a happy grinning smile. She threw one ball 
after another and fast became a team with Ami against the other three. 
Suddenly she forgot about her handicapped body and she and Ami seemed 
to win the battle.

I can’t remember seeing her so happy during the past months. It’s been 
such a long time that she was so happy. So free. So careless.

Haruka stood aside and watched the scene, heard the laughing and 
screaming of five exited girls. Automatically Ami grabbed the 
handlebars of the wheelchair and the two girls chased after the other 
three girls in a wide circle. No one seemed to be affected that the 
young violinist was handicapped. For them it seemed to be normal.

She looks so beautiful when she laughs.

Haruka sighed and kept that picture deep in her heart.

I love you so much, Michi-chan.

At that moment a snow ball hit her head and her dark cap landed in the 
snow. Haruka blinked and looked into a wolfish grinning face of the 
dark haired girl. Haruka grinned back and formed herself a snow ball.

“You’ll regret this.” She declared and joined the others in the funny 
battle.

***

“You’ll miss your breakfast when you don’t hurry up!” Michiru drank 
the rest of her milk and rolled over to the bathroom door. Not very 
patient she knocked. “And then you’ll miss our first lesson. I know 
you hate French, but it is the future to talk more than one language." 
Michiru knocked again against the door. “And I have to fix up my 
hairs! I don’t want to give...” her voice died away as Haruka finally 
opened the door. The taller girl was very pale and looked confused.

“What’s wrong?” asked the young violinist alarmed and rolled into the 
huge bathroom. She saw the yellow pyjama Haruka wore the past nights. 
And she saw that it was covered with blood.

“Do you have some sanitary towels?”

Startled blue eyes looked up into undefinable green ones.

“How old are you?” asked Michiru as she opened the wardrobe and took a 
plastic bag out of it. Haruka blushed and grabbed it. Then she turned 
around and Michiru could hear her angry whisper before she left the 
bathroom.

“Certainly not old enough!”

***

“You are a bloody witch!”

Michiru looked up from her drawing as she heard the exited voices 
outside. Haruka was still at her sport’s club and the young violinist 
decided to begin the picture she had in mind since Christmas. Her 
drawing teacher got ill and so she had the whole afternoon time.

“You always wear those dark clothes and with your messed hairs you 
look so ugly like a witch!”

Michiru frowned and put the paintbrush aside. She cleaned her hands 
with a towel and rolled over to the living-room, but the TV set was 
out. So was the radio.

“Where do you hide your warts? Come on, talk to me when I am talking 
to you!”

Now the voices where right in front of their apartment. Michiru rolled 
over to the door and opened it. Three girls were jumping around a 
smaller one. Michiru recognized Ayako and she pressed her lips 
together.

“Hey! D’ya listen to me?” Ayako pushed the small girl and she 
stumbled. The books escaped her arms and fell upon the ground. The 
girl didn’t look up as she went on her knees and tried to collect 
them. But another girl from Ayako’s club took the book away and danced 
around the still kneeling girl. Shoulder long dark hair surrounded a 
pale face. The thin body was covered with a black dress and the girl 
looked really sad and alone.

Like me...

“Stop it!” Michiru rolled out of their apartment and over to the girl. 
She tried to catch the book but she wasn’t fast enough. Suddenly she 
hold her fists up to her chest and went on her knees again. She gasped 
hard for breath and blood run out of her mouth and dirt her dress.

“My goddess...” whispered the young violinist and rolled protective 
before the small girl. She was about seven or eight years old and her 
whole body started to tremble. She whimpered and her hair covered her 
face as she looked down at the ground. But Michiru felt that the girl 
was crying silently.

“Stop it! Immediately!” she demanded and looked determined into 
Ayako’s light eyes. “Can’t you see that she’s bleeding?”

“Oh, that’s Dr. Tomoe’s daughter. She’s such a bloody cripple like 
you, too. She’s always bleeding when she’s exited. That doesn’t 
matter. It will stop when she calms down.” Declared Ayako and shrugged 
her shoulders.

“And she’s a witch. She has secret powers, I know it. And how she 
looks at other girls. Her look isn’t normal. It’s so cold as if she 
was from another world.” Said another girl and threw the book down on 
the ground next to the still bleeding girl. She still gasped hard for 
breathe and winced back as she heard the loud sound.

“Everyone who knows you better must be a witch for you. Cause who will 
ever look at you with a warm look? Guess even your parents don’t love 
you!” Michiru spread her arms protectively as the girl came nearer.

They won’t hurt her again!

“Don’t you dare to talk about my parents, you bitch!” the girl came 
nearer and before Michiru could react slapped her right into the face. 
It hurt but the young violinist didn’t even mention it. She just 
grabbed the wheels of her wheelchair and rammed the vehicle right into 
the girl. Her eyes grew wide in surprise and she went on her knees 
with a groan.

“You shouldn’t have done this!” screamed Ayako and raised her right 
hand. She hold a knife in it. But Michiru wasn’t very cowed. “You’ll 
regret this!”

“Hell, now I am afraid! Do you think I am scared of this bloody knife 
or of pain? I had more hoses and needles in my body as you can count. 
I went through hell and you can’t even reach the smallest devil I met 
there.” Michiru turned away and rolled over to the still kneeling 
daughter of Mugen Gakkuen’s founder.

“Everything okay?” she asked and leaned forward.

“Hai, the attack will soon be over. As always.” Answered the girl 
breathless and kept staring on the ground. A thin smile appeared on 
the white face and Michiru was suddenly sure that she was the first 
one of this lousy school who had ever been concerned about her. Who 
had ever protected her. Who had ever cared about her at all.

“Maybe you aren’t afraid of body pain, anymore. But mental pain is 
worse.” Declared Ayako and helped the still groaning girl up.

“Her bloody wheelchair broke my feet.” She lamented and groaned again.

“You’re nothing but a cripple, Kaioh Michiru. You can’t run and you 
can’t swim anymore. And your boyfriend likes to run a lot. He’s the 
fastest boy in his club. At the moment he feels responsible for you. 
But he doesn’t love you anymore. It’s just sympathy he feels but he 
isn’t aware of it.” Ayako yelled angry at her. Angry that the girl 
down in the wheelchair didn’t respond anything. Angry that the girl 
didn’t react. Angry that she couldn’t see her shocked face.

“My revenge won’t be the knife, cripple. My revenge will be that I’ll 
steal your boyfriend. I’ll be the one who shows him that he doesn’t 
need you anymore. That he doesn’t deserve a handicapped girlfriend 
like me. Surely he will understand it after I’ll convinced him. And 
then he’ll be my boyfriend and you’ll be alone for the rest of your 
life!” Ayako laid her head in her neck and laughed a rude, loud laugh. 

Michiru closed her eyes for some seconds but she couldn’t ignore the 
brutal noise. Then the group of girls turned away and left the tower. 
Left Michiru alone with her thoughts and her fears.

“Arigato...” whispered the small girl and came very slowly on her 
feet. She fluctuated and had to seize on the wall. The books still 
laid messed on the ground. She wiped away the blood from her face but 
some rests remained and she looked horrible with that pale face and 
those dark, deep eyes.

Michiru swallowed then she collected the books and opened the door to 
her apartment again.

“Come in. You can’t walk through Mugen Gakkuen like that. What shall 
your father think?” she reached for the hand of the girl and was 
surprised how cold it was.

“Hai, my father...” the girl coughed again and her body trembled 
again.

“I am Kaioh Michiru.” Introduced the young violinist herself while she 
guided the girl into the bathroom and wetted a towel. Carefully she 
washed away the blood and the traces of the tears. The girl sat on the 
rim of the tube and didn’t move until she was ready.

“I am Tomoe Hotaru. Nice to meet you.” She bowed and almost lost 
balance.

She doesn’t look like a child at her age. She looks a lot older. And a 
lot more serious.

“Do you want a warm tea, Hotaru?” Michiru rolled over to the kitchen 
as the girl nodded. Silently Hotaru followed her and watched her how 
she took water into a pot and put it on the cooker.

“It takes some more minutes.” Said the young violinist and watched how 
Hotaru rose from her chair and came over to her. When she stood she 
wasn’t taller than her sitting in the wheelchair. Critically Hotaru 
looked at her still burning cheek and her ice cold fingers touched the 
hot skin.

“She slapped you very hard.” She declared with an almost insensible 
voice and laid the whole hand on the cheek. The burning increased then 
it stopped with a sudden. As the small girl took her hand away Michiru 
recognized that her face didn’t hurt anymore. She raised her hand and 
felt that the skin wasn’t swollen anymore.

“How did you do that?” asked the young violinist and saw how Hotaru 
winced away automatically. Her dark eyes looked very sad at her and a 
terrified expression laid on her pale face.

“I am not a witch. I just have those powers to heal people.” She 
frowned and stepped nearer. Michiru didn’t move as she put her hands 
upon her shoulders. Wind seemed to fill the room and a bright light 
surrounded them for some seconds. As Hotaru stepped back she looked 
very exhausted. “But also my powers are limited.” She declared 
silently and lowered her head. “Otherwise I wouldn’t be so weak 
myself.” Michiru almost missed the desperate whisper. She rolled over 
to the girl who sat down on her chair again and raised her hand to 
stroke the dark hairs.

“Don’t believe what other people say, Hotaru. They’re just ignorant 
and afraid of what they don’t know. That’s normal.” She pointed at the 
wheelchair she was sitting in. “You’re a beautiful young girl and your 
powers aren’t a curse. They’re a blessing for the people you can help. 
And believe me, not all people are as mean as Ayako. There are people 
who love you, Hotaru. Believe me.” She whispered and could see the 
tears burning in those dark eyes. Desperate eyes. Michiru knew the 
feelings the small girl felt just now too well.

Hotaru raised her hands and touched the one that stroke her hairs and 
brought it to her suddenly wet cheeks. The small girl suddenly started 
to sob as if the world was going to end. Tears were running down her 
pale cheeks and her body trembled uncontrollable as she lowered her 
head.

Michiru swallowed hard.

I know her feelings too well. I know how it is to be hated by other 
people just for what I am.

A bloody cripple.

I know how hard it is to find any luck on this lousy world. But I also 
know how it is to be loved by a person without any doubts.

“Come here, princess.” Whispered Michiru and embraced Hotaru as she 
climbed on her lap and pulled her small arms around her neck. She 
buried her burning face in the older one’s shoulder and cried all the 
sorrows out she had collected during the past years. After the 
accident when her mother died. When her father didn’t have the time 
for her and no one loved her. When her body became weaker with every 
day and the attacks worse.

Suddenly the young violinist knew that it was a long time ago that the 
little girl cried about her sorrows with all her heart. Maybe it was a 
long time ago that someone held her tight in that loving, comforting 
way. Michiru looked into the desperate face of the small girl.

Surely it’s a long time ago that someone understood her fears.

“Hush, princess. Everything will be fine.” Michiru hold her tight and 
rocked her gently. Slightly she frowned because it felt so used to 
have this small body in her arms. For some moments she thought that 
she had often hold Hotaru in that way. To comfort her. To take part at 
her anger or her joy. But then the memory was gone and Michiru 
concentrated again on the crying girl.

Slowly Hotaru calmed down but she didn’t want to let go of the older 
girl. She was so warm. Here she felt save and secure. This girl 
obviously liked her. She wasn’t afraid of her being different than the 
other people. She didn’t call her a witch and throwing things at her. 
Obviously she took care of her and was concerned about her.

She’s so good.

Hotaru closed her eyes as the last tears fell down her cheeks and 
sighed. An almost happy smile appeared on her normally serious and 
very sad looking face.

“You feel like my mother.” Whispered the small girl and suddenly felt 
like the eight year old girl she actually was. She closed her eyes and 
slowly settled into sleep. She didn’t sleep a lot the last days 
because pain was keeping her awake. But here in those tender arms she 
didn’t feel any pain it all. It seemed as if her illness disappeared 
into nothing. As if the older girl destroyed it with her embrace.

Michiru smiled sadly and squeezed the girl in her arms softly.

“Don’t worry, princess. There’s always someone who loves you.” She 
whispered and looked into the now relaxed face of the sleeping girl.

***

“Maybe he isn’t at home.” Suspected Michiru, leaned forward in her 
wheelchair and knocked again at the door. The bell seemed to be broken 
and she didn’t hear any noises behind it.

“Then leave a note. She can sleep with us.” Declared Haruka with a 
strange low voice the young violinist heard seldom from her. She 
raised her head and looked at the sleeping Hotaru in the young racer’s 
strong arms. There was a sparkle in her dark green eyes as Haruka 
stared down at the still sleeping girl. She found her together with 
Michiru in the kitchen when she came home from her training down the 
beach as she usually called her long walks. There were just times when 
she had to think.

Haruka winced as the pain returned in her belly while she stepped 
back. 

Now I am able to get my own child, too.

The girl in her arms was warm and so light. Haruka frowned but she 
couldn’t ignore her own feelings any longer.

Strange, it feels as if I’ve always hold her that way. As if I’d known 
her for a very long time.

“Do you want to have children some day?” asked Michiru with a sudden 
and two green eyes looked startled down at her. With a sudden Haruka 
was very pale and automatically she stepped back for another meter 
while she shook her head thoughtfully.

“I don’t know...” she whispered and swallowed hard. Again she looked 
into the relaxed face of the small girl in her arms and blonde strands 
hang in her face now hiding her expressions in shadows.

Maybe, if my daughter would be like Hotaru...

Haruka shook her head again and automatically squeezed the little girl 
tighter.

Never, if I’ll ever become like my father...

She winced and looked up as Michiru gently touched her right arm and 
smiled sadly up to her.

“And you?” whispered Haruka as she saw the tears shinning in those 
blue eyes she loved so much.

“The doctors aren’t sure about it.” Declared the young violinist 
hesitantly and her smile broke slightly. Haruka wanted to reply 
anything as the door was opened.

“Goddess, Hotaru-chan!” The man was about forty years old. His hairs 
were already white and he wore a lab overall. His glasses shimmered in 
the light of the corridor as he stepped out of the door and took his 
daughter away from Haruka.

The young racer stepped once more back and hide her suddenly 
disappoint expression in the shadows as she turned away.

“She had an attack and I took her into our apartment. There she fell 
asleep.” Said Michiru and wondered why she felt so miserable for a 
sudden.

“Hai, she often sleeps after that.” Dr. Tomoe looked with a loving 
smile at his daughter. “Arigato, you two. I searched the whole evening 
for her and was very concerned about her. She isn’t so strong as she 
wants to be. But that’s my daughter: always the will to defeat her 
illness. And one day she’ll be able to.” He bowed slightly with the 
little girl in his arms. “Arigato.” He said. Then the door was closed 
and Haruka and Michiru stood there in darkness as the light went off.

“Let’s go.” Whispered Michiru and rolled over to her young racer. 
Carefully she took the icy hand in her own cold one and hold it tight. 
Haruka didn’t say anything. She simply nodded. Her face still hidden 
in deep shadows.

***

She flew against the school lockers as the boy slapped hard in her 
face. Her books fell on the ground and she went on her knees.

“I challenge you to a fair competition and you don’t even talk to me!” 
Tsukasa looked angry at the young boy on the ground. His fists were 
still clenched. “I want to defeat you and you’re running away like a 
chicken!” he shouted angry at her and stepped closer.

Haruka didn’t look up as she collected her books. She winced oppressed 
as she came to her feet again. Her belly ached a lot and after she 
crashed into the school lockers it didn’t get any better.

Stop it!

But she knew that the pain would never really stop. Not for the next 
thirty years.

If I am not going to die before.

“Talk to me!” shouted Tsukasa and kicked her right arm. But she didn’t 
react. She simply lowered her head and wanted to go away. Some people 
stood around them and she could hear some girls shouting at her. That 
she should defend herself. That Tsukasa was a stupid boy. That she was 
so much cuter than him.

“Look at me!” he screamed and pushed her from behind. She stumbled and 
almost fell on the ground again. A pen escaped her fingers but she 
didn’t care about it. She had enough pens, she didn’t need that 
special one.

Maybe he gives up when I don’t mention him.

It would have been easy for her to beat him down. To yell at him and 
to defeat him in his silly race he was demanding. But she simply 
didn’t want to. There were more important things in her life than to 
show that silly boy who was the master and who the apprentice.

But Tsukasa didn’t give up. He grabbed her right arm and hold her 
tight. She still stared at her books and he got even more angry with 
her detached behaviour.

“Look at me!” he screamed and slowly she raised her head. Her lower 
lip was bloody and her chin red. He shivered as he saw her dark green 
eyes looking empty up at him.

“Are you ready now?” she asked with a low, cold voice and pulled her 
arm free. Then she turned around and walked away.

“Give up, he’s over you.” Declared Rumiko and picked up the pen. 
Tsukasa only grunted and went away. For him nothing was over. It had 
just begun.

Haruka sighed oppressed as she took place in the class. Her belly 
still ached and she didn’t know if she would take part at the sports 
lessons this afternoon.

“Everything alright?” asked Michiru and frowned as she saw the pale 
face and the fresh blood. She took a handkerchief out of her school 
bag and softly wiped the blood away. Haruka didn’t wince away, she 
just closed her eyes and let her Michi-chan heal her.

“It was this Tsukasa boy again, wasn’t he?” Michiru finished her 
cleaning but stayed near her Ruka. The young racer simply nodded and 
looked suddenly very tired.

“Why don’t you give him the competition he wants?” Michiru laid the 
handkerchief on the table and took Haruka’s pale face in her warm 
hands. The taller girl smiled at the tender touch and sighed again.

“I don’t want to.” She declared silently and suddenly both of them 
forgot that they weren’t the only persons in the class as Michiru 
leaned forward and gave her Ruka a light comforting kiss.

“Bitch!” Someone grabbed Michiru’s right arm and pulled her away from 
Haruka. The young violinist looked up in surprise and stared into the 
angry face of Ayako. Haruka rose from her chair and looked very angry, 
too, as the teacher entered the room. The young racer took a deep 
breathe and after a cold warning look at the red haired girl she sat 
back on her chair.

“Hope the test isn’t so hard.” Whispered Michiru and took her pen. 
Haruka only shrugged her shoulders. She wasn’t very keen on French and 
didn’t care a lot about her marks. Without her young violinist she 
would have never been able to pass any tests. 

“Don’t look so disinterested. We learned the whole evening!” Whispered 
Michiru as the teacher distributed the papers. But they both knew that 
none of them was very keen on the marks anymore. But without a neat 
education they wouldn’t be able to live a normal life afterwards.

Haruka and Michiru sighed as they saw the questions on the white 
paper.

At least those tests took away some hours from them. Hours they 
normally would have spend thinking. And both of them knew that they 
thought too much during the past months.

***

She heard the noise evolving in the living-room. As she sat up she saw 
the light flicker through the corridor. Michiru sighed and crept over 
to the edge of her bed. She rolled her eyes as her wheelchair rolled 
away and she almost fell out of the bed. With a determined, almost 
angry expression on her face she climbed over to the hated vehicle. 
With a loud sigh she sat down and corrected the position of her weak 
useless legs with her arms. Sweat ran down her back under her blue 
night-shirt but she didn’t want to take a bath. She shivered as she 
thought of the horrible chair in the tube. It was always so wet and 
slippery when she wanted to leave the tube and more than once Haruka 
had to help her. She didn’t feel ashamed of being naked. But she felt 
very much ashamed of being so helpless. So weak!

Ruka’s always so nice to me. So loving...

Michiru covered her legs with a blanket. She didn’t want to see that 
dead part of her still living body anymore. Silently she rolled into 
the kitchen and a short time later into the living-room. Haruka laid 
on the huge couch. She wore a wide white shirt and her bed blanket 
covered her left leg while her naked right one laid on the small 
table. The young racer hold the remote control tight in her hands. Pop 
musicians danced over the screen but the taller girl didn’t watch at 
them. Her eyes where shut and she seemed to sleep. Her blonde hairs 
were messed but her face was very pale in the light of the TV set. A 
painful expression laid on it.

Michiru rolled nearer and watched her Ruka for some seconds in 
silence. Her lips curved in a tender smile. Then she leaned forward 
and opened slowly the buttons of the white shirt. She knew that Haruka 
didn’t wear underwear when she went to bed but that didn’t disturb 
her.

It’s amazing how much shame you loose when you can’t use your body 
probably anymore.

Michiru couldn’t count how many times Haruka had seen her naked when 
she wasn’t able to come out of the tube. Or when she simply couldn’t 
get into her dress or her clothes fell under the bed and she couldn’t 
reach them sitting in the wheelchair. How many times helped Haruka her 
when she had to go to toilette quickly and couldn’t get out of the 
hated vehicle? The first weeks after she left hospital had been the 
worst. It got better during the past months but Michiru wasn’t sure if 
she would ever get used to it.

To be a burden. A cripple...

Carefully she placed the warm object on Haruka’s belly and begun 
tenderly to caress the skin around. Slowly the young racer turned her 
head towards her and green eyes looked asking up to her.

Didn’t she even sleep?

“It’s a hot-water bottle. I know that it hurts.” Whispered Michiru and 
her caressing hand wandered upwards on Haruka’s body. The taller girl 
gasped and her eyes grew wide. “But you’ll get used to it and the pain 
will decrease.” The young violinist stroke over the soft skin and felt 
how the other one winced.

“But I don’t wanna get used to it.” Answered Haruka quietly and took 
Michiru’s hand in her suddenly trembling ones. “I’ll never have a baby 
and so I don’t need this silly nature thing.” She took Michiru’s hand 
to her right cheek and leaned her head against it. She closed her eyes 
and didn’t care about her shirt that didn’t cover her slim body 
anymore.

“But it’s part of you, too.” Answered Michiru and leaned forward in 
her wheelchair. Before Haruka could reply anything she kissed her 
tenderly. “And I like you very much, Ruka. With everything that 
belongs to you.” She whispered near those warm lips she loved so much 
to touch. The young racer sat up and reached for her. Haruka’s eyes 
shone treacherous as she wrapped her arms around Michiru’s waist and 
pulled her out of the wheelchair to her lap.

“The couch is too small for both of us.” Tried Michiru to protest but 
then she sighed and embraced her young racer too as Haruka buried her 
hot face in her girlfriend’s shoulder. For a long time they simply 
hold each other tight. In a warm, understanding silence. After a while 
Haruka raised her head and kissed her Michi-chan again. It begun as a 
sweet kiss but fast it became very passionately and slowly turned into 
a loving touch again.

“I need you.” Whispered Haruka with a suddenly shaky voice between two 
kisses. Michiru smiled at her Ruka’s lips. She knew Haruka didn’t mean 
sex. They had enough time for this chapter in their lives. This night 
Haruka just wanted to be near her Michi-chan. To hold her tight. To 
feel that she wasn’t alone in this cruel world. That there was someone 
who still loved her. The way she was...

“I am always here, Ruka.” Answered the young violinist silently. “I’ll 
never leave you.”

“I’ll never leave you, too, Michi-chan.” Haruka rose from the couch 
still holding her Michiru in her strong arms. Slowly she went over to 
her sleeping room and laid the sea green haired girl down. Then she 
covered her with the soft blanket and crept beside her under it. She 
took her again in her arms and hold her tight as if her life depended 
on it. As if the young violinist was her only life line.

Michiru gave her Ruka another loving kiss and started again to stroke 
over the certainly still hurting belly. Haruka relaxed slowly and 
settled into a light but dreamless sleep. Free of fears. Free of 
nightmares.

Michiru hold her tight and knew that she would never be able to ever 
let her go. As she had to do two years ago when they didn’t have 
another chance.

The young violinist thought at the wheelchair which still stood in the 
living-room and oppressed a sad sigh.

Do we have a chance this time?

She didn’t know.

Onwards to Part 4


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