At the beginning of December it started to snow and it didn’t stop. Soon nature and even the big city laid under a thick, white blanket. It got very cold and very slippery. “What the hell do you want in the city at a lousy day like this one?” asked Haruka as she slipped over the icy pavement. Michiru next to her had a very concentrated expression on her face as she tried to steer the wheelchair through the snow. More than once she lost control and more than once Haruka held her back so that she couldn’t slip on the street where a lot of cars were passing by. For the young racer they were all too fast for the icy asphalt. “You know that this month’s special.” Declared Michiru and grabbed the wheels as she lost again the control. She wore a thick robe and the scarf hide almost all of her face while a dark cap protected her hairs from the snow that was coming down very quickly now. It barred their views and suddenly Michiru wondered why she’d left the warmth of their apartment. She sweat under her robe but at the same time her legs were almost frozen. She shivered but concentrated again on the wheelchair. The streets weren’t made for people like her and often Haruka had to help her to left the pavement, cross the street and got at the next pavement. “And you know my opinion about Christmas.” Declared Haruka and shook her head. They discussed for several hours without getting a result. Michiru wanted to celebrate the festival of love while Haruka rather wanted to forget about it. The young violinist was intelligent enough to overhear the silent words of her best friend. “Actually I wanted in this department store.” She pointed at a huge building but her smile broke as she saw the three steps that leaded up to the entrance door. “But...” she whispered and wanted to turn the wheelchair around as Haruka held her back. “Hey, don’t run away. You wanted to go shopping? Now we’re here and you even have me as a victim to carry all your bags. Like a real gentleman.” Haruka was relieved as she saw the little smile on her best friend’s pale face as she bowed. Then she went into the department store and came back with a boy that seemed to belong to the service staff. While Haruka carried her Michiru into the warm building the boy pushed the wheelchair into the department store. “Arigato.” Said Haruka and sat the young violinist down again. She became so slim. How much weight did she loose since the accident? “Let’s separate. I want to buy something you shouldn’t see. And otherwise you don’t wanna watch me buying lousy clothes, do you?” Haruka smiled as Michiru disappeared between the people in the department store. Slowly she walked through the shelves and looked at several books. A girl with shoulder long blue hairs hold a very thick one in her hands. She looked up and smiled at her. Haruka automatically smiled back. “This is a very good one.” Said the girl then she headed towards the counter and was gone after she paid. One hour passed away when Haruka started looking after her Michiru. Surely she had already bought what she wanted and now it was time to return. It was already dark outside and the storm even increased. Haruka wanted to be at Mugen Gakkuen before the snow covered the street completely that leaded towards the towers. After ten minutes the young racer got worried and she wanted to go to the information as she saw the figure sitting in the shadows near the entrance door. Michiru had lowered her head and stared with empty eyes into nothing. Her robe was dirty and she hold her head with her trembling hands. “Everything okay?” asked Haruka alarmed and went on her knees next to the wheelchair to take a look into her best friend’s now expressionless pale face. “Sure. One kid called me a cripple and splashed me with his cola. An old woman argued with me that I stood in her way. I didn’t get quickly enough out of it. And a young woman with a baby in her arms almost fell over me but it wasn’t her fault. I am so tiny now that she couldn’t see me!” said Michiru with a quiet, insensible voice. “Actually I have to go to the toilette, but this wonderful chair doesn’t fit through the door and the service woman there couldn’t help me. Maybe they have parking space for handicapped people out there, but they don’t have one single toilette. And after all this department store is a trap! I am not even able to leave it when I want to.” She raised her hand and pointed at the three steps. There were no bags. Michiru obviously didn’t find what she wanted. Or she simply didn’t have the time to. Haruka took a deep breathe then she stroke over the sea green hairs. “Let’s return to Mugen Gakkuen.“ she said and made a mental note never to visit this store again. Michiru didn’t reply anything. She simply nodded and buried her face in Haruka’s shoulder as she carried her downstairs out to the cold, cruel world. *** Haruka opened the door and looked surprised at the man who was wearing a fir. The green branches almost touched the ground and the tree was as high as the young racer. “Michiru?” Haruka turned around to look in the innocent smiling face of her best friend. “What the hell is that?” The taller girl pointed at the man from the delivery service and at the tree. “It’s our Christmas tree.” Answered the young violinist and looked with that pleading expression up to her best friend. She rolled next to her and took the money out of her pockets to pay the man. “I told you, no music, no mistle toes and especially no trees!” Haruka crossed her arms before her chests and her green eyes shone cold as the man put the tree in the middle of the living-room. With a short bow he took the money and left. “Don’t be such a spoilsport!” declared Michiru and rolled over to the cupboard where the tree jewellery laid. It was only white and silver and a lot of real candles. Haruka wondered if she really wanted to burn them. Maybe it looked romantic but it was also very dangerous. “I am not a spoilsport. I simply don’t like this crazy behaviour of people at a time like this. It’s just a method of advertising, nothing more! They just want people to buy more.” Answered Haruka and went over in the kitchen. She didn’t want to look in the oven. Today was Christmas Eve and of course Michiru made a special dinner. It smelled delicious and if Haruka had been honest to herself she would have admitted that she couldn’t wait to taste it. “That’s not your seriousness!” she heard Michiru’s indignant voice and sighed slightly. She opened the fridge but suddenly she had forgotten what she wanted. “It is, Michiru!” she came back and looked critical at the Christmas tree. It wasn’t set up and it was surely too high for the handicapped girl to reach the crown. But Haruka was too angry to care about it. She told Michiru over the last four weeks over and over again that she didn’t want to celebrate Christmas. The smaller girl seemed to understand. And now that silly tree! Why can’t she respect my feelings? Haruka clenched her fists and reached for her jacket that laid on the white couch near the huge windows. “But it would be fun. It was always fun to celebrate Christmas with my parents.” Said the young violinist with a suddenly quiet voice and watched her best friend getting dressed for the snowy day outside. “Your parents are dead! Accept it!” snapped Haruka and looked straight at her boots. As dead as my mother. “Better I’ll go for a walk.” She declared and almost run out of the apartment. She wasn’t in the mood to argue with Michiru. She knew she would loose control when they talked about that topic. And she didn’t want to hurt Michiru more than she already did. “Hai...” The young violinist took a silver shinning ball in her trembling hands and could see her sad face reflected in it. “They’re dead.” She said with a cold voice and rolled over to the huge Christmas tree. It was too heavy for her to set it up. She knew it. And it was too high to decorate it perfectly. “They are dead.” Suddenly she yelled at the closed door and threw the ball at it. The silver cracked and splinters fell upon the carpet. Michiru couldn’t held back a sob. She lowered her head and clenched her fists around the armrest of the wheelchair she was trapped in. Even if she wanted she couldn’t chase Haruka anymore. The young racer had been too fast two years ago but now she couldn’t even reach her if Haruka was only walking in a normal tempo. Cripple. Michiru swallowed hard and didn’t want to think of the gift that laid save and secure under her bed. Maybe she doesn’t want it. “They are dead. But I am still alive...” It was not more than a shaky whisper. *** *We wish you a marry Christmas and a happy new year. We wish...* Haruka rolled her eyes as she heard the music that filled the streets of Tokyo. She slipped over the icy pavement and cursed herself for being so rude to Michiru. She didn’t want to behave so silly but her hot temper controlled too often her words. More than once she said hurting things to the smaller girl at the past few weeks. Things she regretted some minutes later when she thought about it. *Silent night...* Haruka stopped in front of a huge shop window and looked at the little angels and the small Santa Clauses. Of course she brought a gift and secretly she was happy to see Michiru being interested in more than her English, French or maths books. All that seemed to be left for the young violinist was the school. She learned hard and got good marks. But hardly she left the towers. After the short trip to the inner city of Tokyo Michiru didn’t want to go out anymore. Rumiko once told Haruka that the smaller girl was very good in drawing but she only did it in the lessons. And the pictures looked different from the ones she used to draw two years ago when they first met. After school Michiru only left the apartment for her weekly appointments at the doctor. The rest of the time she sat in her wheelchair on her bedroom and learned. Or she simply looked out of the window with her headphones over her ears. She only listened to one song. Only one sad song over six weeks now! Haruka clenched her fists and shook her head. Slowly Michiru’s behaviour changed when Christmas came. She took part in different courses at school where they made cookies and tree jewellery. Rumiko said that she smiled more and looked happier in those lessons and suddenly her drawing changed a little bit. She draw white forests and a picture of one Santa Clause was even chosen for the school calendar next year because he looked so real. Michiru took away the CD with the sad song and brought last week when she went into a job after her visit in the hospital a CD with Christmas music. And I fool switched off the CD player each time she wanted to listen to it. Haruka took a deep breathe and stepped back. Snow fell down on her and soon her cap and her thick black robe were white. *I am dreaming of a white Christmas...* Hai, Michiru was dreaming of such a Christmas. It was the first Christmas without her parents. And you remembered her that they’re dead. You baka! But I hate this festival! It took me so much! It changed my life forever. It made it to a hell I couldn’t escape for almost ten years... Haruka laid her head in the neck and looked up to the cloudy sky. People hurried by but she didn’t really mention them. Today was Christmas Eve and the last people were searching for the perfect or simply for the cheapest gift that looked a lot more expensive. *Hark! The Herald angels sing. Glory to...* Today’s festival of love. And Michi-chan wanted to celebrate it with me. .. Haruka watched her breathe in the air. Soon it got darker and although it was just late afternoon dawn came. It was a dark, cool season and she started to hate it when she was five years old. But for Michi-chan I can try to forget this hate. The young racer looked back into the shop window and automatically started to grin as something caught her eyes. Something really cute she simply couldn’t leave there. Michi-chan went through so much pain. It’s not fair from me hurting her with my silly behaviour. It isn’t her fault that my mother died at Christmas Eve ten years ago. The girl opened her fists and took the cape from her slightly wet blonde hairs as she entered the shop. *I am just a poor boy, too....* *** The bag was very big and she almost stumbled over the gift that laid in front of their apartment’s door. Haruka swore quietly and bowed to pick it up. She heard giggle and turned around. She saw the shadows of several girls turning around the corner towards the elevator. Silly brats! Haruka looked at the gift for some seconds and opened the letter under the loop. “Merry Christmas, Haruka. Your Ayako.” She read aloud and frowned. This gift whatever it was, it was just for her. Not for her and Michiru. But that didn’t surprise the young racer. Ayako had a crash on her although Haruka simply ignored her. It looks as if she won’t give up that fast. Haruka sighed and shook her head. Ayako didn’t dare to laugh over Michiru in her presence but some gestures could hurt more than every rude word. Ayako behaved as if Michiru was only air or a burden for the whole class. She didn’t care about the wheelchair and more than once the young violinist had to ask for help when Ayako stood her school bag in the way. Some girls joined her club, as Haruka called the silly brats, but there were other girls who liked Michiru. Rumiko for example. Soon she became a very good friend and she tried to defend Michiru when Haruka wasn’t around. Some day Ayako will pay for her behaviour! Haruka sighed then she opened the door. Today was Christmas Eve and she didn’t want to ruin it because of some stupid girls. If I didn’t already ruin it by myself! It cracked as Haruka walked over the broken silver ball. The young racer frowned and took the bag into her bedroom. She hung her wet jacket in the bathroom and threw the still wrapped present into the dustbin without looking at it again. “Michi-chan?” she hesitated but then she entered the living-room. The tree leaned at the armchair where the man from the delivery service had left it. More silver splinters laid around it on the soft carpet. The roast was still in the oven and it smelled even more delicious as Haruka could remember. Suddenly the young racer felt guilty. She did so much for this festival and I was just shouting at her. “Michi-chan?” she entered the bedroom and could see the figure sitting in her wheelchair looking out of the window. She had her headphone on but it was Christmas music she listened to, not the sad song as Haruka recognized relieved. The young violinist moved her lips to the music and her look was sad as she stared out to the sea. Sad and yearning. Haruka put her arms around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She leaned over the smaller girl and looked directly into those blue eyes she loved so much. Michiru winced surprised then a smile appeared on her pale face as she saw the guilty expression on her best friend’s face. “You’re right in time, Ruka. Dinner’s almost ready.” She declared and put the headphones from her ears. Silent music filled the air. *One small child in a land of a thousand, one small dream of a Saviour tonight, one small hand reaching out to the star light...* “Gomen, Michi-chan. I didn’t want to yell at you.” Whispered Haruka and pressed her cheek against Michiru’s one and squeezed the smaller girl gently in her arms. “No problem, my wild racer.” Replied Michiru in the same quiet voice and raised her hand to stroke the short blonde hairs. She liked that feeling having her Ruka near. She knew that she was the only one Haruka had ever asked for excuse. And she knew that she was the only one who saw the young racer the way she actually was. At school she was detached, cold and unreachable. But with her she was a complete different person. She could be understanding, comforting. Loving. She listened to her problems, dispelled her fears. She’s with me in my darkest hours. Michiru closed her eyes and enjoyed the embrace of the other girl. Please, don’t ever let me go! “Michi-chan?” she heard the giggle in the low voice and as she opened her eyes again she saw the grinning face above. “Hai?” she simply returned the smile and leaned her head against Haruka’s chest. “Where do you want the Christmas tree to stand?” *** “Don’t make it so exciting!” Michiru rolled next to the sparkling Christmas tree. Haruka helped her to decorate it and the candles burned now and dove the room in a dimmed light. In a romantic atmosphere. They enjoyed the dinner Michiru made and Haruka said more than once that it was the best Christmas roast she’d ever eaten. Normally the gifts were given on Christmas Day and not now but they simply couldn’t wait. “Close your eyes!” shouted Haruka from her bedroom and Michiru could hear her swearing as anything crashed the ground loudly. “Do you need any help?” asked the young violinist and wanted to roll over to the door as Haruka’s head appeared in the frame. “Are your eyes closed?” “Hai!” Michiru took a deep breathe and did as she was told. But a happy smile laid on her now redden face. For the first time after her accident she looked healthy again. And happy... Haruka stayed for some moments motionless in front of the smaller girl. Her sea green hair fell over her shoulders and she looked beautiful in the blue dress she was wearing. The candlelight surrounded her and suddenly she looked like an angel. My angel... Haruka leaned forward and gave Michiru a light kiss on the nose. “You can open your eyes again, Michi-chan.” She whispered and went on her knees next to the wheelchair. Michiru blinked and looked surprised at the huge easel that stood now in the middle of the living-room. It was not so high so that she could reach the top while sitting in the wheelchair. But it was very wide. Perfect for a drawing of a landscape. Several paintbrushes and colours stood around on the ground. The young violinist rolled toward the easel and touched quietly the linen. “I thought you’d like to draw a real picture again. You always complain that the papers are too small in your club and...” Haruka’s voice died away and uncertain she came to her feet. Maybe it hadn’t been such a great idea. Maybe Michiru didn’t want to draw such complicate pictures again. She had been known in the art’s world as a young talent with a shinning future. The old artists liked her style and she already had her first exhibition when she was eleven years old. When her parents had been alive... Michiru closed her eyes still touching the easel. She heard the soft violin music the CD player played and slowly a picture evolved in her head. Her lips curved in a smile as she felt the old feeling. The excitement she had always felt whenever she started a new work of art. This one is going to be better than all the others before. Because this one will be a part of me. It’ll be true. She opened her eyes again and looked into the asking face of Haruka. She rolled over to her best friend and touched her suddenly icy hands. “Arigato, Ruka.” She whispered and could see the relieved expression on the young racer’s pale face. “But that’s not all.” Haruka took a large bag from under the Christmas tree and blushed as she took the gift out of it. “Call me a fool, but I couldn’t let it stay alone in the huge shop window.” She mumbled and ran a uncertain hand through her short blonde hair while she watched her best friend unwrapping the gift. Michiru giggled as she saw the big blue toy elephant in her lap. Two big dark eyes looked pleading up to her and it seemed to grin at her with his long nose. It felt soft in her hands and the big ears moved as she touched them. Michiru looked from the toy to the young racer and back. Then she giggled even more. “Perfectly, Ruka. It looks like you. It is as if you gave me a picture of you. Guess I’ll call it Ruka-chan. What do you think?” Haruka blushed even more then she went on her knees and laid her head in Michiru’s lap beside the elephant and looked up with that innocent expression that made her always giggle. “Then I want to be caressed, too.” She demanded and started to purr as Michiru stroke her short blonde hair that soon looked messed. Haruka closed her green eyes and they both enjoyed for the next moments the presence of each other. “My little kitten.” Whispered Michiru and giggled as the purring increased. “Don’t you want your gift, too?” “It can’t be better than this.” Answered Haruka and looked dreamy up to her. Then she smiled and nodded. “What is it?” she asked curiously and crept back. Michiru gave the elephant in her arms and rolled over the Christmas tree. “It’s nothing special. But I made it during...” she reached under the tree and frowned as she didn’t reach it. “I...” she leaned forward but her fingers couldn’t touch it. She stretched her arm a little bit more and with a scream she lost balance. She seized on the wheelchair but it tipped over. Michiru landed hard on the carpet and the wheelchair hit her weak, useless legs. The young violinist wanted to stand up, wanted to kick at that bloody vehicle and then run away. But she simply couldn’t move. Her bloody legs didn’t obey and so she laid helpless under the tree. The gift was grabbed in her trembling right hand while she beat the carpet with the left one. “Shit!” she swore and suddenly tears were filling her eyes. Haruka was by her side at the next moment and put the heavy wheelchair aside. “Everything okay?” she asked and took her into her strong arms. Michiru nodded but tears shimmered in her deep blue eyes. She hold up the gift and the paper was now ripped. Haruka could see black cloth with a dark blue picture on it. “A pullover?” she asked surprised but Michiru just put the gift under the tree again. “That’s all I am able to do now. To knit a lousy pullover.” She whispered and wanted to escape from Haruka’s embrace but the taller girl just hold her tight. “You’re to so much able, Michi-chan. I hated Christmas since my mother died at Christmas Eve ten years ago. She simply went away and left me behind. Alone with my strict father who never wanted me the way I am.” Declared Haruka and saw her pale face reflected into the sparkling tears. “But with you it’s the best festival I ever celebrated. You taught me again what Christmas means. It’s the festival of love and for the first time after ten years I am not alone anymore. ‘Cause I’ve got you.” Haruka leaned forward and their lips met for a few seconds. It was a light, but very tender touch. Michiru’s eyes grew wide. Then she put her arms around the taller girl’s neck and pulled her closer. “Ruka...” whispered the young violinist and saw the love that shone in dark green eyes. It was such an intensive look she had never seen on that normally tomboy face before. “Michi-chan...” was all Haruka could reply before her voice broke. Then they kissed again. The kiss expressed all their feelings to each other. All their longing, all their love. It lasted for a long time. They had kissed before. Two years ago they shared a light kiss. But it had been a complete different feeling. They both had been very young. Thirteen and twelve years old, almost children. It had been more a curious, friendly kiss between two girls who liked each other a lot. Now it was something different. Now they were older. They faced hell, went through it together. Now that kiss felt no longer like a child’s kiss. Now it felt like a lover’s kiss. Deep and full of love. After the kiss ended slowly they looked each other deep into the eyes. Michiru leaned her head against Haruka’s shoulder and Haruka buried her face in the velvet sea green hairs. They hold each other tight for the rest of the evening and didn’t want the other ever to let go. Soft twilight filled the room and the candlelight created a romantic atmosphere. Sweet music hung in the air and it didn’t stop the whole evening. *I wish it could be Christmas every day...* A blue toy elephant laid on the soft carpet. His big dark eyes watched the couple under the Christmas tree. Holding each other tight. In loving silence. The long nose of the toy elephant looked as if he grinned happily.
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