Chapter Six: Dealing (Minako) The door caved in and finally was flung out of the frame under the powerful kick I had delivered. Carefully we slipped into the room and looked around. There was not much to look at. The interior was thoroughly cleaned out, the kitchen looked like it hadn't been used in days and the bedroom wasn't any different. No human soul occupied the shady apartment in the poorer districts of Tokyo. My dark-haired partner came from investing the balcony and shook her head. Completely clad in black and with similar sunglasses nobody would have recognized her, let alone see her in the dark. "Nothing?" I asked, hoping against hope that there was at least the tiniest bit of a trail. Hotaru repeated the headshake and I sighed heavily. Taking away the red mask I cleaned the glasses in frustration - not that they needed it, mind you. "That was the last one?" Hotaru briefly touched my arm before answering. "Hai. I can track a few sources out of town but... I doubt we have the time and capacity. They never stay long in one place." They being Hamutsei Kobin and Mamata Tsuta, in the "scene" only known as Black and Ivy. It had come to somewhat of a shock to me that Hotaru not only worked as a part-time bouncer in the part but that that actually was a cover for her other... job. As it seemed my girlfriend had become quite the heck of a hacker. I had to admit after sometimes working with Ami she had the basics down pretty quickly but now... Well, she did all sorts of assignments but never tended to get personally involved. Black and Ivy had been her last employees and as with anyone before she had researched them of course, which now came in handy. "I would chase them to Alaska if necessary but you're right. Christmas is in two days and the party is more important for Usagi when those two." Hotaru nodded quietly and slipped one arm around my waist. "I know..." We stood in the middle of the apartment for awhile in silence. It had been frustrating. The two rapists were nowhere to be found. We had searched every location for three nights straight now with no luck at all. By now I wanted to smash anything very badly and it was only Hotaru's company and the necessity to be there for Hotaru and her healing process that held me from snapping. Ever since learning the identities of Usagi's assailants I had taken part of the blame onto myself. Not only to relieve the other two but also because I felt the tiniest bit responsible for allowing them to get away this night. It pained me to think that Hotaru and I had mated at the same time while sweet Usagi was stripped of another part of her innocence. I REALLY wanted to kill something... preferably someone. Moving to the balcony I stood there for awhile, letting the cold breeze of early morning blow through my hair. At this moment I was glad that we had used Lunar Pen and the Mikazu Mirror for our investigations. The magic not only provided more fitting clothes for this time of the year but also an extra layer of protection - without our powers we Inners would probably had been frozen solid before reaching D-Point in our first battle. Finally I freed my hand from Hotaru's. "Go home. I still have something to do." She frowned a little but I pulled out a paper and she simply nodded. "I wanted to solve this personally demo... Oh well. I have some people who still owe me a favor." Hotaru briefly stood on her toes and gave me a short kiss. "Be back soon." I smiled faintly and jumped out into the night's air and the first bit of snow that winter had brought to Tokyo. Hotaru was holding up a strong front, I knew that. Inwardly she wasn't much better than Usagi with the old wounds made fresh again through Usagi's experiences. She had never really allowed herself to grief or really stomach the two most awful moments of her life. Neither the slaughter nor her own... rape. I could not help but shudder every time I thought about it. We had carefully avoided the topic but with the bond that was beginning to form between us, I sometimes got flashes and those were enough already. And the nightmares... Now that Hotaru had allowed herself to feel again, her sleep often was troubled and sometimes I didn't get much on my own, trying to soothe the girl and watching over her. Our own still fragile relationship had surprisingly not so much suffered. No, the opposite seemed to be the case. There still was a huge gap of trust between us, fueled by our individual pasts and problems but hunting for Usagi's maulers had given us a common goal which had brought us closer. I had learned about Hotaru's other activities and she had helped me to make a clean cut to my own... "job". It would be a long time before any of us would ever feel completely comfortable again but at the moment we needed each other and more than depended on that need to strengthen our bond. Usagi though... I looked down at the paper as memories from three days ago came back. It was late afternoon when I returned to the Tsukino-ke. Hotaru had just let me in on her mildly disturbing secret of a hacker career... Mildly because everything paled in comparison to the latest events. We had made some plans and sorted out places to look for Usagi's assailants which we would seek out tonight. Neither of us wanted to tell or get our Princess involved with it but... We were talking about human crime here and as much as I wanted them dead, I had worked for the police once when I was a teenager and part of their philosophy was still there. If possible I would like to avoid getting outside help on this, unfortunately life not always went like it should. Getting a somewhat distant greeting from Ikuko - the woman was obviously trying to put on a mask of being unworried. She was miserably failing in the task. Usagi didn't want her family to know, yet, and I respected this. What I said to the older woman this morning was probably true after all. She didn't need a mother all worried over her, Usagi needed support. This much Hotaru had made clear. No fussing or sweet words but friends who still accepted her as she was... or... had been. Young, innocent, carefree. It would be a long road for her, indeed. Entering her room, I saw Usagi seated in the chair on the desk and writing something, there was a huge pile of... well, all sorts of things. Folders, newspapers and the like. She didn't look up when I entered or was startled when I looked over her shoulder. The connection seemed to be stronger than ever, even with the new level Hotaru and I had now. "Hey," I greeted, forcing a cheerful tone into my voice. "What are you doing there?" Usagi put some papers away. "I'm looking for something to do in the new year. Maybe I'm taking some evening semesters also." She sat back and the intense look that had covered her face a few moments ago faded quickly. "I just... needed something to do. Just sitting around alone in the room and doing nothing is kind of frustrating." I nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed. I knew she didn't want to really talk about THAT but I couldn't contain my own worry very well. "How are you holding up?" The other blonde closed her eyes briefly and my trained eyes noticed just the tiniest bit of a shudder. "It's... difficult. When I have something to do, I can forget about it but... If I just sit or lie around..." I reached out and took her hand in mine. "We still need to get shopping for that party you know?" Immediately her head perked up and I could see the tiniest bit of a sparkle in these distant blue eyes. "Does that mean you're both coming?" I squeezed her hand and nodded. I hated to spoil the mood but needed to get this done with. So I reached into my pocket and pulled out the printed chart that Hotaru had given me from the two criminals. As I handed it to Usagi, I had to actually jump up and steady her. The sight was heartbreaking, seeing my Princess and best friend spasm and jerk from the sight of the two... THINGS that had violated her. I closed my eyes briefly, rocking the other girl gently in my arms. "Gomen nasei, Usagi-chan. Hotaru had the information about those two. I still have some friends with the police who might be able to help us." At the panicked look on her face, I quickly added: "Discrete of course. That is why I need you to sign this and confirm that those two are..." I didn't finish the sentence but it wasn't necessary. After some time Usagi had calmed down enough to quickly take a pen and with shaking hands put her name under the paper. This would be enough though. At times like this I was glad I had been working with the police temporally. We sat down on the bed to talk for awhile about the upcoming party which relaxed Usagi immensely. Plans were made about what to buy and the question was raised, if we should invite some of our other... friends. Which mostly would be Naru and Umino since Motoki had followed Reika to Europe a few years ago. We finally agreed that this party should be just for us. Something special, something for good memories. We could all need this. Maybe New Year we could make something bigger. "So," Usagi asked after some time, looking at me out of the corner of her eye, "are you and Hotaru doing alright? I mean, I didn't..." Quickly I cut her off, thinking that she was going into one of her self-blame moods again. "No, Usagi. We told you..." "You're being generous. Minako. I can tell that I didn't make things better with... this." She looked away and I mutely followed her gesture by gazing out of the window. A lot of thoughts were swirling around in my head. And maybe it was one of the worst things to ask in this situation but... I needed to know. And Hotaru had said to treat her like the person and not the victim. "What exactly was it like? Last night, I mean. Hotaru won't tell me, I know." I could hear a sharp intake of breath and after that a period of silence. I waited patiently, not sure if Usagi was merely considering the right choice of words or answering at all. I wouldn't blame her if she denied the latter. "It's hard to tell. Before last night I was so full of hatred and blame directed at me. I thought that I was unworthy to even be considered a human being because... Why would that have happened to me otherwise. I let the others die, I let them use me and they used me because..." I wanted to interrupt but resisted the urge. Perhaps the other girl actually needed to talk about it. "... because I didn't deserve better. I can not really describe how it feels. It's like being in a great void where nothing else exists than the pain you think you have to receive, that has to be dealt out because you were bad, you let your friends die and so on..." Another pause and I had subconsciously reached out for her hand as I noticed. Usagi looked down on my palm atop hers but didn't comment. "Then Hotaru did all those things it just became too much. I wanted her to stop because the pain was too intense but at the same time a part of me still resist to simply fight back. I think I could have, at every point, even when those two..." She didn't finish the sentence but again that wasn't necessary. "I lacked the mental strength though. I didn't have the will to fight back because I blamed... and still blame myself partly for the deaths of the others. However, Hotaru knew exactly where to hurt me, to get this small part to rebel." After another short pause she repeated the words my girlfriend had spoken to her. I had a hard time resisting the urge to cringe... "After that everything just snapped. You know like a switch that lets something move in one or the other direction. Wham, just like that. Everything I felt before was simply reversed and except blaming myself, I pushed that blame away and reflected it on everyone else. She... took it all for awhile. But unlike me before Hotaru was still able to control herself. From there on it was pretty much an even challenge. A challenge that somehow changed everything..." "And you realized that there is not always the easy way of either taking the blame or giving it someone else. That the world isn't all black and white but all shades of gray. And that your pain, the loss of our friends and everything else is no exception," I finished for her and Usagi quietly nodded. The seconds ticked by before I suddenly chuckled into the silence and Usagi looked at me sharply. "I have to give it to her," I managed to get out. "That girl always has to do everything her way. Pretty extreme, I must say." I lifted her hand with mine and enfolded it with the other. I stopped her before she could say something. "Nay, I'm not mad at you... It is true that there still is a lot between me and Hotaru that has to heal. But I could never hate the two of you, you both are much too precious to me. You too, Usagi. My Princess." With that I lifted her hand to my lips and on impulse put a soft kiss on her palm. "I have to get back home. See you later!" With that I jumped up and rushed out of the room. Looking over my shoulder I saw her still looking down stupefied on her hand. Yay me, I still got it. I didn't really understand what had happened that moment. But there had been several more of this awkward ones... Even going as far as a few tender kisses that I had always put off as nothing more but comfort. Hotaru admitted though that she also felt somewhat different around Usagi. However, she never told me anything else. Looking back up at the large building ahead of me, I concentrated back on the task at hand. Doubling my speed, I raced towards Tokyo Police Headquarters which would soon start their work early in the morning as I knew from experience. It was time to see an old... friend. (???) It was a hard time being a police officer these days. Criminal activity had risen in the last six years since "The Night of Dread" as the press had rather lamely titled what only few really knew was the end of the famous Sailor Senshi save three. I had been undeniable happy when Minako had called some weeks afterwards and let me know that she was still alive. Contact had been held briefly after she left police since her time in England, after that last call I hadn't heard from her again personally. I sighed at the melancholic thoughts and took a large sip from my coffee. The chief was pushing us again. Tokyo had become rather gloomy and I wished the old days back when Youma roamed the city and took the majority of the crime activity for themselves. Criminals would mostly stay away because they didn't want to be a unintended target to the myth that was the Sailor Senshi. Work had been slow in these days. There hadn't been any Youma sightings in six years. "Kami," I muttered, flipping open the folder of new cases my secretary had handed me, "what is it with me this morning. I sound like the chief." Setting to work, I banished the lingering thoughts from my mind and got a quarter hour of studying a new case, when I heard a knock. "What is it?" I groaned. There was no answer and with a groan I stood up to head to the door and see who was playing tricks on me. In the mid-movement I stopped, frozen, when my eyes had determined that it hadn't been a knock on the door but on the window instead. Perched on the sill outside was the distinct figure of one Sailor V. I blinked, making sure that the early hour wasn't playing tricks on me but surely enough she was still there. A lot older when the thirteen year-old I remembered but her nonetheless. Left in a dazed state, I walked over to the window and let her in. She dropped to the ground without making a sound but shivered a little, probably from the cold air outside. "Honestly, Wakagi-kun, is this your way of treating old friends? Letting them freeze outside your window?" Her verbal jab kind of went past me, as I numbly returned to my desk. V had taken off her mask and went with one hand through her hair to soothe it. "Minako," I regarded her with a nod, not really sure what else to do. "What brings you here after... What has it been? Six years? Eight years?" She smiled faintly. "Well... I was busy." Without further words she pulled a piece of paper out of nowhere. "I need you to do me a favor." Curiously I picked the quite detailed chart up - refraining from asking where she got such information - about two criminals on the hot list of several secret services nonetheless. My eyes widened and then narrowed to slits while reading through the verification for rape, completely with autograph. There was one thing among all policemen that could get more disgust out of you when a bloody murder. And that was rape. Minako long ago had given me charts and I knew the name Tsukino Usagi very well. Raping was bad enough but doing it to a Princess by heritage... "Can this be arranged? We went through all the locations my... associate knew they could be. It appears they left town." I pursed my lip my briefly. Those two were not only countrywide but almost worldwide searched criminals, I was sure arrangements could be made very quickly. "It will be done," I replied, my voice hardening noticeable. Minako gave a short nod. There was a brief silence in which our eyes met and both of us knew what the other thought. If one of found them personally before anyone else not even misuse of power would save them a fate in a prison. No, if one of us found them, they would never even make it there. Half an hour later Minako had left. We had agreed to keep us updated regularly if either we or her... associate had found any leads. Now I stood in front of the chief's office, chart and a folder of information from Interpol records in one hand. After a firm knock I entered the room. Sakurada Natsuna looked up from her computer screen. Seeing the serious look on my face, she turned around to face me. "What can I do for you, Officer Wakagi?" I put down the folder and chart on the table. "I need my current cases to be reassigned. That was just dropped in by an old... 'friend' of ours." The chief reached out to study the chart and briefly flip through the folder. I had of course held her updated about what Minako had given me on the information and Sakurada Natsuna was not the police chief for nothing. She had a very sharp mind and the fact that this was related to her favorite V- sama... "Consider your cases to be reassigned." I smiled grimly. "Oh and, Wakagi," she called out while I turned to leave. "We will work on this together." (Hotaru) It was around ten in the morning when we met up with Usagi in Shinjuku. The blonde greeted us rather cheerfully, obviously excited to do some shopping. Seeing her like that was like salve for the soul. Of course the smile was somewhat forced but it was her job of trying to suppress any kind of depression. All in all she did much better than I had done all this years back. If I had had the help she got... Fact is I probably was just to scared to ask for it. Even if they hadn't fully understood. I should have known that they would never leave me alone. Done was done though and maybe now after even more emotional trauma we could finally move on. "Well, well. Looks like someone is eager to raid the mall," Minako declared as Usagi came literally skipping over to us. I was a little bit surprised as the other blonde swung her arms around us in a brief embrace. There was that feeling of safety again... The feeling of belonging. For that brief moment it was so strong, we all sighed quietly when Usagi let go, all of us pretended to ignore that they noticed anything. "I'm just glad that you guys are here." And this really seemed to be important for her. I had taken a long time to not snap when someone invaded my personal space, let alone touch me. It was a simple defense reaction from my subconsciousness but was hard to prevent if you weren't in total control. Usagi didn't seem to share this problems but Ikuko had let it slip that she wouldn't go out without any of us either. I doubt she would have survived a shopping trip without our company. For about an hour we looked around in the various shops, filling bags with decorations and some gifts for Usagi's parents and some other people. Candles were bought and I insisted on a few herbs. At my friends questions I simply said they were for a prayer on Christmas Eve. I had no idea if what I had planned, would work. However, if I succeeded it could not only help Usagi immensely but most likely all of us. Hopefully I would get this right, wouldn't want to anger some spirits. After the general things were obtained we split up to buy some individual gifts. I had already something in mind for Usagi, so I went with her while Minako set off on her own for awhile. I smiled to myself secretly. How long had it been that I had been shopping like a normal girl, looking at everything, bugging shopkeepers and irritate customers with useful banter. To be honest, I never really had. As a child I wasn't the exact typical specimen and later I was usually to shy to go out all like Usagi and Minako could. The latter had often dragged me with her but I always refrained her efforts to get me to indulge in her carefree activity. Well... To hell with it! Today I wanted to be the normal schoolgirl I never really had been. After picking out something nice for Minako, we strolled through some of the shops, trying out this piece of jewelry, that piece of clothing. I never had the intention of purchasing anything but Usagi was hell-bent on getting a few new items for her wardrobe and there was one thing you could usually not defend yourself against. A pleading look from our Princess. Usagi insisted that I got myself some nice things too. Oh well, if I wanted to be a common girl for once, I might as well spent some of that money I had enough of anyway. Since it was in the script for a shopping raid - or so Usagi said - we wound up with the more expensive and formal gowns eventually. After looking around I found a purple one that I kind of liked. The price wasn't that outrageous and I let the clerk wrap it up. Returning to Usagi I saw her unmoving in front of a couple of white pieces. Coming up next to her, I immediately saw what had caught her eye. A long white gown with a big bow in the end. The style resembled that of the old Moon Kingdom only slightly verified. The gown that Neo Queen Serenity would have worn looked exactly like it... "Close your eyes and focus. Can you feel the center?" Usagi sat cross-legged on her bed following my instructions. She nodded and I continued. "Good. Now let go of the control. SLOWLY. Let it drift." Reaching out to her spirit, I could feel the familiar drifting from the physical realm. The "switch" as I had labeled it was slowly bending in one direction, I could not quite tell in which one but I suppose unlike me Usagi tended more to the submissive side. "Now pull back!" I ordered sharply and after a moment of hesitation felt the reaction, her eyes reverted back to clear blue, instead of the glassed over appearance and Usagi heaved a wary sigh. It was tiring, I very well remembered that part. And I had had no one to guide me. That had been even more tiring. "You're doing good, Usagi. You have that down in no time." Usagi managed a faint smile. "I'm doing good at something that requires learning? Haruna-sensei would quit her job hearing that." I chuckled softly and motioned for her to settle down and rest. We had been doing that for over an hour and that should be enough for now. Also I had to get back soon. It was getting late and Minako and I still had some locations to check for our wayward rapists. "Hotaru? Can you give me the folder in the top right drawer? I need to get this done today, if I want to have that application out before Christmas." I complied, glad that Usagi had found the courage to get some sort of order in her life. Her strength was remarkable after having her spirit shattered the moment she had started to realize what a mess she had allowed her life to become. Handing her the folder, I watched for a moment as she lay down on her stomach to read and occasional mark something. Turning back to her desk I was about to close the drawer again when something caught my eye. I had missed it the first time and even now barely got a glimpse on the objects inside. Two pictures, neatly tugged away in frames. Taking them out I held them up into the light and nearly wept at what I saw. My control slipped immediately and I couldn't suppress the whimper. Of course Usagi noticed that. "Daijobu, Hotaru-chan?" I looked back at her, sure that a few tears were glistering in my eyes. I wanted to put the pictures away immediately but the damage had already been done. So I simply shut the drawer and slid down the chair to sit beside her on the bed. Usagi had gotten up at my reaction and hers was mirroring mine as I handed her the two photographs that were years old by now. "Oh," was all she said but it was so quiet that one could have sworn she had said nothing at all. The first photo was of Usagi, me and Chibiusa from the time when we had visited that friend of Mamoru's who was breeding exotic plants. I think Mamoru must have made that one. The other was a gift - I supposed - from Chibiusa, showing her and her parents with the beautiful scenery of Crystal Tokyo in the background. The first did not show anything remarkable except the heart wrenching happiness that the three of us radiated. The other one... Well, I wasn't Pluto but she had taught me some things when I was in my quick aging period. The whole picture was somewhat transparent, the typical sign of a future that had become dead. The halo effect was less with Neo Queen Serenity but King Endymion was beyond doubt transparent. Chibiusa had a faint emerald glow around her that showed her detachment from the timeline. She wouldn't completely vanish because she had been here once and the photos taken in this time would be unaffected but the glow was a clear sign that her future existence had been crushed. "Chibiusa forgot that when she returned to the future after Neherenia," Usagi whispered softly. I slipped an arm around her shoulder and put the pictures back on the desk. The mood had dropped considerably and for a long while we just sat there staring at the pictures that were synonyms of a happy past and a future that should have been happy. Thinking about the price the world had paid that day when the Senshi were slaughtered by a foe that we until today had no idea where it had come from, it was a truly sad thing that they would never know about their loss. Yet... Did a society who produced people like Black and Ivy truly deserve an utopia? Neither of us really minded leaning on each other as we remembered memories of the past and the days where we could live without a care in the world because we knew our future would be a glorious one and our efforts would eventually pay out. A dream it had been but we never realized it before we had been rudely awakened. It had been one of those awkward moments I had told Minako about. There was no touching, necking, kissing or whatever. Just a mutual and genuine comfort but the moment was slightly magical if I dared saying so. At one point I could have sworn hearing my childhood friend's laughter. "It's beautiful," I heard Usagi breathe wistfully. I looked up from my reverie and had to gasp at the resemblance. My friend was just holding the gown in front of her looking into a mirror but even that way the resemblance between Usagi and Neo Queen Serenity was almost one hundred percent. The only thing missing was the crown and the sigil. I felt a sharp pang in my heart as I remembered why I had been reborn in this age in the first place. Normally including Saturn in the rebirth cycle would have been counterproductive but Queen Serenity had foreseen that Earth would be the promised planet for the new Silver Millennium. I was sent to ensure that it would come. I failed. We all did. How could everything had gone so horrible wrong? The Senshi in me had wanted nothing else than to see the old, glorious days again, even if it had meant assuming her old role in exile once more. Saturn would have done anything to ensure that. A pity that option had been taken away from me before I could react. "Splendid," the voice of the saleswoman pushed into my thoughts as she came up behind me. "If I would dare say so, an image suited for a queen." Usagi cringed a little at the words but managed a smile anyway. It was wistful and laced with longing but still genuine. "Yes," she replied softly. "Yes, it is." "Well," the woman remarked, "I truly would hate it to see that one wasted on someone else. Why don't I make you a special offer?" She told us and the price was really hilarious for something so beautiful. I looked at Usagi ready to lent her the money if she wanted but I already suspected that this wouldn't be necessary. After a minute more of studying herself in the mirror, she finally put it down and handed it back to the woman. "No. Your offer is generous but I will not need the gown of a queen anymore." Her hand sought out mine and wordlessly I let her lead us back out of the shop, leaving a confused saleswoman looking after us. (Usagi) We met back up with Minako outside the shop a few minutes later. I think she must have noticed the nostalgic look on my face. Not saying anything she grasped my hand, slipped an arm around Hotaru and lead us down to ground level. In the middle of the recently remodeled mall in Shinjuku there was a fountain with the statue of what looked like an elf or a fairy in the middle. The cross was a little odd and Serenity would probably categorize it as a half-breed, if those hadn't been seen for several thousands year. I wondered absentmindedly where the artist had come up with the motive. The dress had effected me more than I would admit. It brought out memories that I simply didn't have the strength to suppress and once again, I was reminded of the unfairness of it all. We had supposed to be fighting for this future to come. All our struggles, the fights, the hardships. They had given up so much and now nothing that we all had sacrificed would pay off in the end. This wasn't about Crystal Tokyo, or a happy future for Earth. It was about OUR future. The one that had not only been a dream but a goal. All of us had known that being rulers would not make life easier but we all had yearned for peace and for the revival of those glorious and carefree times of our past lives. We would have given everything for that, even personal freedom and childhood dreams. And then it had been taken away, just like that. "I miss them..." I surprised myself with the firmness and the control the soft spoken whisper still possessed. I had no idea how long we had sat there but it seemed like a small eternity. Two sets of arms tightened around me and for a moment I stiffened at the closeness, at first from the initial reaction my body responded with at unexpected touch and when as a part of me realized that I was imposing on their bond like that. Finally I settled down though and let the familiar feeling of security wash over me and help me stable my emotions. They were there for me. Even after all those time, even if only those two were there, they still would do anything for me. Not because of duty but because of love. A love I thought I didn't deserve but was determined to not gamble with again. "We know, Usagi-chan," Minako whispered, placing a small kiss on my forehead. "We miss them too." I shook my head slightly. "That's not what I mean. We never really had a time... have ALLOWED ourselves to grief, slowly falling into our depression. We never had a chance to say goodbye..." My voice trailed off and I could not stop the few quiet sobs as some of the horrible moments from that day years ago rushed to the surface. It was an effort to will the control that Hotaru had taught me back into place and the implications pained me even more. I had just been underlining my own statement. It surprised me a little to realize that Hotaru had lifted my face, the fingers of her right hand under my chin. Her eyes were intense and it was as if her soul was bare to my own eyes. There weren't any shields, I realized with a start. And I also realized that Hotaru had apparently feeling the same way now for a long time. "We will make our goodbye, Usagi-chan," she said quietly, her voice thick with emotions. "I promise you that. It is the least we can do for them." I slowly nodded and settled in Minako's embrace as the dark- haired girl scooted even closer. We sat there like this, minutes, maybe hours. Looks were passed our way, some curious, some with scorn or distaste at the "improper" show of affection and closeness in public but we did not care. When we finally got up and left, bags in hand, none of us was letting go of the other. It was about an hour later when I finally arrived home. Minako and Hotaru had been insistent to drop me off and while I protested they also knew how grateful I was for their company. I still felt insecure outside whenever I went alone, even for short walks. Every passer-by, no matter how innocent they seemed, scared me. It wasn't fair to them I knew but I was scared of them... Sometimes I even was scared of my own parents and I was not sure if it was just the fact about them finding out. And that was truly nagging on me. Without the control exercises Hotaru had so thoroughly taught me, I probably would have broken down by now. The only time I could really feel safe was with Minako and Hotaru and both didn't show any restrictions in expressing it. I thought it bothered them to have me around as such a hassle and my tendency to simply pull back and fall into the depression that had been gathered throughout the years still didn't let me think otherwise. I knew they loved me - though I was not quite sure in which way that love went - but somehow I still thought I didn't deserve it. What was it with us anyway? Ever since the morning where the veil on all the major secrets had been lifted, we had grown more closer than we had ever been before the incident six years ago. And that scared me too because I began realizing something that was playing a big part of why I thought of myself as an intruder in their growing and still fragile relationship. I think I loved them. In more than a sisterly way... "Setsuna-san?" I sat down next to the older woman on a bench in the park. She didn't seem to be acknowledging my presence but that was just her usual manner. If you dealt with the Guardian of Time for awhile, you got used to it. I didn't know if I even wanted her to look at me right now. I might change my mind about approaching her on the subject. High School Graduation was coming up in under two months and the future we had been heading for was coming closer with every passing second. None of us knew for sure when or how and I was sure that the other woman would not share this details with me even if used a royal order... A royal order. I chuckled mentally and then smiled ruefully. It was back to the matter at hand. Better to get this done with or I would never get some sleep. "The future is not really set in stone, is it?" That opening came out a little different from what I had planned, however, I realized that it was my heart speaking. Setsuna did not answer for a long time as we watched all the people around us. There were families, children playing, an old, grumpy man reading his newspaper. So many people who weren't even aware of the fact that right under their noses their very future was the topic of discussion. "Do you want it to be?" The question startled me. It was uttered gently and not really disturbing the silence but the gravity was the important thing. "No," I answered with a surprisingly convincing tone of voice. "I don't want it to be set in stone, I want to form it, we want to form it because it has been our dream, the goal of our efforts for so long. If everything had already been prearranged no matter what we do, why should we have sacrificed so much?" The older woman turned her head slightly and I wavered slightly under the intense stare she gave me for a moment. Then her features softened and a tiny smile graced her lips. "And there I thought I would have to drill that wisdom into you one day." I blanched at the verbal jab and then started laughing. Setsuna merely chuckled and waited until I settled down again. Her face turned serious again, a little worried even. "What brings this up all of the sudden, Princess? Not that I am complaining about your interest but..." I nodded, slipping back in what the others had jokingly labeled "princess mode". This topic was far too serious to joke about. "I had dreams, Pluto. Dreams about a future that had nothing to do with paradise we have been promised with. I know we all have those sometimes but it felt so real that it scares me. I can't go to Rei with this, I..." I trailed of looking at the other woman for some sign that she understood. Setsuna did not move for several seconds and her voice had dropped several volumes as she finally replied. "The future is always in motion. Not even I as it's guardian can foresee every possibility. Crystal Tokyo is the one most clear in all of them. With slight changes here and there but the general concept would always point to this one possibility. All it would take though, would be one little disturbance in the flow of time and everything could fall apart, create something totally different." "Like what?" I could not help but ask although I was secretly afraid of the answer. Setsuna was silent again for some time. "You falling in love with someone else as the Prince for example." I gaped at that and wanted to protest but she continued quickly. "I know you love him with all your heart, whether it be Tsukino Usagi or Serenity. I would not dare question your bond but you must realize that your love is what holds the steady image of Crystal Tokyo in the timeline. It is correct that you are the heir and that you could, if you wanted, let the Silver Millennium rise anew on your own. Crystal Tokyo though is a joint effort of both of your respective kingdoms. I fear, if the joining would not happen, the solution of a sole rule would end like the last one. Crystal Tokyo is a product of both the lineage of the Moon and the Earth and not just a revival of the Silver Millennium." I had leaned back during her speech and closed my eyes. The cold breeze of late January was more freezing than refreshing. "I don't think I could ever love anyone else than Mamo-chan..." The thought alone was absurd. There had been crushes and the brief familiarity with Seiya but nothing had ever compared to what Mamoru and I had... were having. Setsuna laughed softly. "That was merely an example. It could be him, though I doubt that, or it could also be that one of you falls in a fight. As you worded it earlier, Princess: 'The future is not set in stone.' But one thing you should not doubt..." I looked at her curiously out of the corner of my eye. "Do not doubt your ability to love. Do never question yourself, if you think that someone else might make you happy, even if it changes the future. Just ask yourself if it is worth it. You said yourself that you wanted to shape this future but you only got a glimpse of that time. The future is yours to hold and form, for the world and for yourself." Setsuna stood up suddenly and soothed her long coat. "If those dreams worry you so much though, I will look into that matter." And with that she was gone. That was the last time I had seen her until two days before the horrible battle. She told me personally that she had spent the whole time analyzing a minor anomaly that she had spotted due to my concern but it had vanished several days before her return without leaving behind any trace. I had not said anything to the others but had them be extra careful. It didn't help much. Pushing back the images that threatened to break to the surface, I concentrated back on the conversation I had with Setsuna this day. Could I really love someone else? I could not deny that something was happening between us that quickly was slipping from our control and it had begun that very day when our friends had been slaughtered. The one moment our bleeding hearts and souls had joined and had not fully separated again afterwards though our bodies had drifted apart. And now with the new closeness it became even more evident. Was I really in love again and wasn't I betraying Mamoru's memory like this? Hotaru had been so helpful and patient, helping me deal with the consequences of the rape. Minako was so supportive, even though she didn't really understand what we had been gone through and still were, she tried so much. When I was with them, I felt like I had reached the only safe harbor in a raging sea that otherwise threatened to drown me. Was it really possible to be in love with two people at once? Two people that were together? Two people that weren't Mamo-chan?
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