---Omake Sixteen: Catch That Lesbian!--- "Chibi Usa?" Hotaru asked, "What's that your reading?" "It's a cool magazine called Pseudo-Science Monthly." The pink haired girl answered. Ami, studying a medical textbook on the other end of the room now looked up from her reading, her left eyebrow raised slightly. "Pseudo-Science Monthly?" she asked, "I never heard of that journal. What kind of articles are in there?" "Well," Chibi Usa began, "Besides the cool article about Bigfoot being pregnant with triplets, how wearing undergarments that are too tight can lead to premature aging, and the upcoming invasion of us land dwellers by the inhabitants of Atlantis, there's this really cool story about a Mexican safari on the hunt for the illusive chupacabra." "Really?" Hotaru asked enthusiastically, "That sounds interesting." "It is! Apparently they were able to briefly capture one of the elusive creatures with a crude trap made from a lobster tank and microphone, but it escaped when..." "Chibi Usa," Ami interrupted, "That's not a scientific journal. It's just a stupid tabloid, and you're going to rot your brain if you read garbage like that." "Ami-chan," Hotaru said, "Why are you staying here to baby-sit Chibi Usa and me? Where's Setsuna mama?" "Well," the young genius answered, "Sets-chan is with the others looking for someone she brought here through the timegate whose now running around trying to avoid being sent back in time. And since your Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama are out playing a concert, you two need some sort of adult supervision. And as the adult around here, I'm telling you that this garbage is not to be read around here." she said as she yanked the Pseudo-Science Monthly away from Chibi Usa. "Hey!" the pink-haired youngster protested, "What am I supposed to read now?" "Here, read this." Ami said as she passed a different magazine to the girl. "Non-Euclidian Geometries of the Sub-Atomic Strata Weekly?" the child asked as she read the magazine title. Hotaru spoke up for her friend. "Um, Ami-chan," the Senshi of Death began, "I'm not sure, but I think this may be a little heavy reading for little Chibi..." "Nonsense." Ami answered with a smile, "I was younger than her when I first started reading it. Five years old, in fact. The same year I started cram school." her smile slowly faded as she continued, "My mom's a doctor, you know. Everyone expected me to be one too. Everyone." she said as her voice suddenly became harsher, "Other kids got to go to amusement parks and play in sand boxes. Not me, I couldn't miss cram school, could I? No! Not even for one friggin' afternoon!" "Um... Ami-chan?" Chibi Usa said nervously. "When do I get a childhood?" Ami shouted, "When do I get to play with little dolls and run around in fields picking flowers and read pointless manga and watch cartoons? When do I get to have sleepovers and play hide-and-go-seek? I want a fucking childhood too, damn it! I..." "Shhh..." Hotaru said as she took Ami over to the large comfortable chair her Haruka-papa always sat in and made her sit down while patting her hand, "There there, it's okay. You just sit here and relax Ami-chan. Chibi-Usa and I will make you a nice cup of tea." As both youngsters left the frazzled young woman in the other room and entered the kitchen, Chibi Usa looked over to her friend. "Wow." the girl said, "What do you make of all that Taru-chan?" "Hmmm... Well, Michiru-mama sometimes goes off like that when Haruka-papa is away during the racing season. It probably just means that Ami needs to get laid really bad." "Oh, okay." Chibi Usa said as the two started preparing the cup of tea for Ami. ------ "Urgh..." Setsuna groaned, "Okay, I admit it; it's my fault. I was the one who brought Sappho here to the twenty-first century, and I was wrong to do it, okay? The problem, of course, is that now that she's spent an evening hobnobbing with the Tokyo lesbians at that Locket place she's decided she doesn't want to go back." "Wait a second," Mamoru interrupted, "Are you trying to say that she's... run away?" Setsuna let out another groan as she nodded. "Yes, and I'm pretty sure I don't have to point out to any of you how damaging all this could be to the timeline. So rather than stand around talking about it, let's try to get her back so I can fix the situation." "Very well." Rei said, "Why don't we split up into teams? I'll go with Mamoru, Usagi can go with Mina-chan..." "No." Setsuna interrupted, "I'll go with Mina-chan. Usagi can team up with Mako-chan." "Sounds fine by me." Makoto said, "I don't care who I search with." ---Two Hours Later--- "So," Minako began as she continued walking the streets with Setsuna, "Exactly why did you want me to be with you instead of Mako-chan?" "Well, I... Ami's not hiding anywhere to enforce the fourth wall rule, is she?" "What? No, of course not. She had a nervous breakdown two scenes ago, remember?" "Good. Last omake, when you were spending all that time with Sappho, exactly what were you two up to?" "Well," Mina began, blushing a bit as she swept her hair back, "We... Wait a minute. Are you jealous?" "Well..." "Oh Sets-chan, why didn't you tell me you were interested in Sappho? If I'd known I would've..." "It's not Sappho I was... am interested in." Setsuna said as she continued walking alongside the blonde, avoiding eye contact. Minako looked over to her fellow Senshi in surprise, "Setsuna?" she asked a bit taken aback. "Well," Setsuna began, "You... you're a very attractive young woman with an outgoing personality, and I... I never asked I guess because..." her voice drifted as she felt Minako's hand clutching hers. She looked over to see the blonde smiling sweetly at her. The Time Senshi found herself smiling back. The two then turned to continue with their search hand in hand, Mina's head resting on Setsuna's shoulder. ------ "Excuse me," Usagi said to the attractive lady in the toga and sandals who was leaving the novelty shop wearing a pair of Groucho glasses, "You haven't seen a famous lesbian poet running around here, have you?" "Sorry, but no." the woman said in a heavy Greek accent, "I haven't seen anyone like that around here. Sorry I couldn't help you." "Darn it!" Usagi said, stomping her foot on the ground angrily as Makoto came over, "We've been looking for two hours and still haven't found her." "Calm down Usagi." Makoto said, "Well find her, I... Hello." she said, her eyes narrowing as she looked suspiciously at the Greek wearing the Groucho glasses, "And who exactly are you supposed to be?" "Who, me?" the woman in the toga asked as she sweatdropped, "Well, I'm Sapph... er... Steve. Yeah, that's it. Hi, I'm Steve. Pleased to meet you." she said as she flashed a nervous smile." "Steve?" Makoto asked, "Oh, come on. No one's stupid enough to be fooled by..." "I already asked Steve-san." Usagi said sorrowfully, "But he hasn't seen Sappho anywhere. I..." "Usagi, you baka!" Makoto shouted angrily, "Can't you see what's going on here?" "Well, I'd love to stay and chat," the Greek said as she slowly started to back away, "But I have to get going, so..." "Stop right there!" Makoto shouted. "Oh shit!" the woman cried out as she turned and ran away, her Groucho disguise falling off as she ran. "Hey!" Usagi said as she looked at the disguise lying on the sidewalk, "I think I just figured something out." "Never mind that!" Makoto shouted as she gave chase to the native from the Isle of Lesbos, "Come on, she's getting away!" ------ A group of workmen were using a rope and pulley to hoist a grand piano up to the fifth floor of a high rise as Mamoru and Rei were walking on the sidewalk below. "Hmmm..." Rei said as she thought out loud, "Let's see, we've searched by the library, the industrial park, and the mall. I'm not sure where we should go next Mamo-kun, I... Mamoru?" she asked as she noticed the worried look in his face, "What's wrong?" "I... I don't know Rei-chan." Mamoru answered pensively, "It's just... well... Have you ever had a feeling of deja vu?" Rei tilted her head at that, "What, you mean like I was repeating something I'd done before?" she asked. "I suppose so. Why?" "Well," he answered, "You'll probably think this sounds strange, but I just have this sinking feeling that something bad is about to happen, you know what I mean? I can't explain it, but I just feel like history's about to repeat itself, and something bad is going to happen to me. I..." "Come back here!" a voice shouted from around the corner of the building they were standing in front of. Before either Mamoru or Rei could react, a Greek in a toga and sandals came running around the building. A split second later, Makoto and Usagi came running around the corner in hot pursuit. "Sappho!" Usagi yelled, "I can't forgive you for trying to trick me like that! In the name of the Moon, once I get my hands on you I'm going to..." As Rei and Mamoru began to maneuver in place to block Sappho's escape, the poetess knocked into the men hoisting the piano, causing them to loose their grip on the rope. The piano descended rapidly, landing on Mamoru with a thunderous crash and killing him instantly. As Rei turned to the dead body of Mamoru in shock, the Greek quickly ran by. "Mamo-chan!" Usagi shrieked. "Mamoru!" Rei cried. "Never mind him!" Makoto shouted, "Come on, she's getting away." ------ They kissed, oblivious to the world around them or to the search for the poetess from another time period as they lost themselves in each other's arms. At last, after what seemed like hours, they separated. "I've been so blind." Minako said, "I wish I'd known sooner. All this time apart, when we could've been..." Setsuna silenced her by putting her finger to the blonde's lips. "Hush." she said gently, "Don't worry about the time we've wasted. We have the rest of our lives ahead of us, and..." "Stop!" "Get back here, you..." "My Mamo-chan! You killed my..." "I never touched your Mamo-chan! It was the piano that killed him!" Minako and Setsuna turned just in time to catch a fleeting glimpse of Sappho before she bumped into them, knocking the two lovebirds over onto the sidewalk. As Setsuna fell, Sappho reached out to her to try to keep her from getting injured. Unfortunately, instead of grabbing a hold of her arm, the Classical Greek poetess grabbed hold of the front of her blouse, tearing her clothing off with a ripping sound as the Time Senshi fell . Setsuna turned bright red from a combination of embarrassment and anger as Minako got an eyeful of her new girlfriend in her bra and panties, to say nothing of the garter belt holding up her stockings. The two got back up to their feet as Rei, Usagi and Makoto passed them chasing after the Greek. As the chase music from The Benny Hill Show started playing in the background, an infuriated Setsuna and Mina-chan joined the chase. ------ The doors to the crown opened as Ami came out with Michiru, Haruka, Hotaru and Chibi Usa. "Thank you for taking me out for a sundae." Ami said, "Sorry about loosing it back at the house, I..." "Don't even worry about it." Michiru said as she patted the younger woman on the back, "Ruka-kun and I are thankful that you were able to baby-sit for us today while we were playing our concert, and as for your breakdown, well..." "I guess we never knew how much pressure was being put on you." Haruka said sympathetically. "I think the best thing for you right now might be to take a rest." Hotaru nodded her head, "Haruka-papa's right." she said, "Go someplace nice and quiet, stress free, and try to get some rest." "Right." Chibi Usa said, "Avoid any sort of stress or anxiety and try to take it easy for a little bit." Ami smiled at her friends, "Thanks guys." she said as her eyes started to tear up, "I'm so lucky to have friends like you, I..." "She's getting away!" "Come back here you Grecian creep! I'll..." "Usagi, if you're going to run that slowly then get out of my way!" As The Benny Hill chase music once again started up in the background, Michiru and the others looked on in horror as Sappho ran around the corner and knocked Ami down. As the now nervous wreck of a young genius tried to get up again, she was knocked back down by Makoto. As the rest of the group chasing the poetess passed on, Ami finally rose back to her feet, the young woman shaking all over as her left eye twitched and her face took on a demented look. "Um... Ami-chan?" Haruka said nervously, "Are you..." "AAAARRRGH!" Ami shrieked at the top of her lungs as she grabbed onto her hair and pulled two handfuls of her short blue locks out. She then gave chase after the Greek and her pursuers. "Oh crap." Michiru said as she, Haruka and the two girls then gave chase to their now mentally unbalanced friend. As the chase was going on at an accelerated pace with the Benny Hill music blaring in the background, Setsuna quickly ducked into a side alley and disappeared. Meanwhile, Sappho took a quick look behind her to see how she was doing, and frowned when she saw former track star Haruka running past the others almost effortlessly in order to reach her. She turned to look forward just as the timegate opened in front of her. "Oh shi..." she began before disappearing into the gate. A few seconds later, Setsuna emerged from the timegate in her underwear and stockings as the portal disappeared. "Humph." she said triumphantly, "Trifle with the Time Senshi will you..." she was interrupted by someone trying to speak words of consolation to another. "Shhh... It's okay, Rei." Usagi said, "It wasn't your fault Mamo-chan died. I'm not angry with you, honest." "M... My princess," Rei said downcast, "I've failed you. How can you still be willing to call me your friend?" "Rei-chan," Usagi said softly as she stroked her cheek, "I could never be angry with you." she then surprised everyone by leaning forward and kissing the stunned shrine maiden on the lips. "U... Usagi!" Rei cried as she blushed feverishly, "What..." Usagi smiled endearingly at her, "You know," she said with a twinkle in her eyes, "I've always wanted to do that." "R... Really?" Rei asked still in shock, "Well, how... How was it?" Usagi's smile widened, "I think I liked it." she answered cheerfully, "You?" Rei looked a few seconds into Usagi's beautiful blue eyes before returning the blonde's smile, "It was... nice." she admitted. Usagi took the raven-haired young woman's hand and they walked off together. "That's so sweet." Minako said as she watched the two walk off. Setsuna put her arm around the Senshi of Love and the blonde leaned her head on her now bare shoulder. "Ami-chan?" Hotaru asked the young genius nervously as she stared off into space, "Ami-chan, are you..." "Here," Makoto said as she gently pushed the young Senshi of Death aside, "I'll bring her out of it." With that, she took Ami and gave her a long and sensual kiss on the lips. Pulling away, she smiled as the shorter young woman blinked her eyes and looked up at her. "Mako-chan." Ami began, "I... I'm so embarrassed. I don't know what happened to me." "Don't worry about it." Makoto said, "You probably just need to get laid really bad." Ami thought about that for a moment, then smiled. "Yeah," she agreed, "I think you're right." As Makoto walked off with Ami, Minako walked off with Setsuna, and Haruka left with Michiru, Hotaru turned to Chibi-Usa. "Grown ups are weird." she said. "Boy, you said it." Chibi Usa agreed. Suddenly she smiled brightly, "Hey, want to play Chupacabra hunter?" "Okay!" Hotaru answered enthusiastically, "We can use my fish tank and Barbie voice amplifier for the trap." "And we can get Luna or Artemis to play the chupacabra!" Chibi Usa said enthusiastically. With that, the two childhood friends joined hands and followed the others. ---To Be Continued--- End Notes: again, thanks to Shanejayell for permission to reference the Locket. Also, thanks go out to the inventors of the lobster tank, the microphone, and Groucho glasses.
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