---Editorial--- "Ladies and gentleman," the announcer's voice said, "Yet again, in the interest of fairness, we offer a rebuttal to the omake series 'Mamoru Must Die'." Standing in front of a hanging cloth background are Setsuna and Chibi Usa, neither of whom look very happy. "Hello ladies and gentleman," the Time Senshi began, "We're here today to complain about our screen time in this omake fanfiction series." "That's right!" Chibi Usa said, "We've had hardly any presence whatsoever in these stories, and I know I speak for not only Puu here but Hotaru as well when I say that... Hey, wait a minute, where is Hotaru?" Setsuna looked around, visibly irritated, "I don't know, I thought she was with you, I..." her voice drifted off as Hotaru suddenly appeared in front of her and Chibi Usa, thus taking up most of the screen. "Hello everyone, especially you out there Mr. Author." she said with a smile, "I'd just like to say that I had no foreknowledge of this protest by my fellow actresses..." "Huh?" Chibi Usa asked in shock. "And that I can totally understand the decision not to include the two of them in more stories." Hotaru said as she gestured back at Setsuna and Chibi Usa with her thumb, "I mean, plenty of people can't stand Chibi Usa (fourth season anyone?), and as for Setsuna mama... well, let's just say the crows feet around her eyes is ample evidence of here not getting any younger." "Why you little..." Setsuna growled. "Myself, on the other hand, I'm slopping over with talent." the Senshi of Death continued, "I also have a large fan base, and am way more talented than the two has-beens behind me. To prove it, and in the spirit of the poetry of the last omake, I offer up a haiku I made." "Mamoru had died Usagi then dated Rei She liked it better" "Why you mercenary little bitch!" Chibi Usa shrieked. "Do you two mind?" Hotaru asked, "Unlike you two whiners, I'm trying to do something to salvage my career." She then turned back to the audience, putting her fake smile back on, "So being men and women of good taste, you'll no doubt want to tell the author you want to see lots more of me in this series, and a lot less of two other hacks who shall remain nameless but were given undue screen time during the original anime's run (cough- Super S- cough). Setsuna, scowling at the young Senshi of Death, now came slowly and deliberately up to her, "I see." she said in a dangerously low tone, "Well, I have a little haiku for you young lady." "Hotaru's a jerk I disinherited her She can go to hell" Hotaru now was the one scowling angrily. She turned to Chibi Usa, "I suppose you have something to add?" Chibi Usa nodded. "My friend is a creep She only thinks of herself I'll get even though" "Oh, is that so!" Hotaru shrieked, "Well, I..." "Hey!" Artemis yelled as he ran out with Luna, "I don't see where you three get off complaining about screen time. This is my first appearance in this series, and Luna's only had one line in the thing so far." Chibi Usa narrowed her eyes as she looked at the two cats. "Artemis, Luna They'd better stay out of this Or they will be fixed" The two cats quickly slinked away with their tails tucked between their legs as Chibi Usa turned back to her ex-friend. "You big jerk!" she yelled, "The three of us were supposed to stand together for our rights!" "Keep it up you little pink spore and I'll give you some rights!" Hotaru yelled back, "Not to mention some lefts while I'm at it!" "You know," Setsuna yelled, "If Usagi had just let me and the others deal with you like we wanted to in the S series, you wouldn't be so smart mouthed right now!" "Oh really?" Hotaru asked as she narrowed her eyes angrily, "Well, I just happen to have one more haiku for you both." "They are both jealous Chibi Usa, Setsuna They both have fat thighs" "WHAT?" Setsuna and Chibi Usa both screamed in unison as veins popped out of their heads and their faces turned red with anger. Chibi Usa kicked Hotaru in the shin, causing the Senshi of Death to hop around on one leg as she painfully clutched the other in her hands. When she finally stopped, she took two fingers and poked the pink haired girl in the eyes. She then went over to her Setsuna-mama, who had been laughing at her hopping around, and proceeded to stomp on her right foot. "My eyes!" Chibi Usa shrieked, "Ow, my eyes!" "My foot!" Setsuna cried out as she now started hopping around on one foot herself. Hotaru angrily stomped off as Chibi Usa, still blinded by the eyepoke, swung out blindly. She missed the Senshi of death, but did manage to get the hopping Time Senshi in the gut, knocking the wind out of her. "Ladies and gentleman," the announcer stated over the bickering in the background, "This has been an editorial. We now return you to your regularly scheduled omake." ------ ---Omake Ten: Bouquet--- The day had finally come; it was Haruka and Michiru's wedding day. The church was packed with Haruka's pit crew and Formula-1 sponsors, as well as Michiru's friends in music and the arts. Yo Yo Ma and Itzhak Perlman, upon hearing that their fellow violinist was getting married, both immediately volunteered to play the music for the wedding march. At first, finding a minister liberal enough to marry a lesbian couple had been a problem. Finally, after an exhaustive search, they found a minister in America who moonlighted as a taxi-cab driver who was more than willing to marry the pair. As Reverend Jim Ignatowski declared Haruka and Michiru to be wife and wife, the two kissed in front of the alter. Mamoru, forced to sit near the back of the church because of arriving late, was one of the first to exit. As the large group of men and women exited the church and started gathering outside on the lawn, Haruka and Michiru appeared on the church steps to thunderous applause. Michiru turned her back to the guests with a smile as she threw the bridal bouquet over her shoulder. Mamoru immediately noticed two things; first, the bouquet was falling in his direction. Second, that a sound like thunder, or the beating of hundreds of horses hoofs, was coming toward him. He turned just in time to see hundreds of crazed-looking women, desperate to get married, running straight at him. "It's mine!" one woman shouted. "No way, bitch!" another screamed, "I saw it first!" The last thing Mamoru saw in this world was a very large woman rushing at him like an NFL tackler in her desperate attempt to reach the bouquet first. As the dust finally settled, Usagi went over sorrowfully to her now squashed boyfriend, footmarks covering his stomped body. Rei walked over, putting a consoling hand on Usagi's back, "I'm so sorry." she said, "Are you going to be alright?" Usagi wiped her eyes, "Yeah," she sniffed, "Yeah, I think so. Thank you for checking up on me." Rei smiled sadly, "Well, you know I'd do anything for you." she said. Usagi looked at the Fire Senshi, "You would, wouldn't you." she said, not as a question but as a statement, "You've always been there for me, always willing to sacrifice yourself for me." she came closer to her friend and fellow Senshi, "You... You love me, don't you?" Rei's eyes widened, "Well, of course." she stammered, "We all love you as our friend and princess, but..." Usagi shook her head, "That's not what I mean and you know it." Rei closed her eyes and nodded, "Yes." she admitted, "I love you." Usagi smiled as she held out her hand. "Come." she said as the undertakers arrived for the squashed body of her ex, "Let's go talk about it over a sundae at the crown." Rei took her hand, smiling as they walked by the guys picking up Mamoru's corpse, "Usagi," she said with a laugh, "Your boyfriend got killed, and you just found out I have feelings for you and you may have feelings for me. Only you could think of food at a time like this."
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