Smoking was very bad for you. Everyone knew that. She didn't even do it that often. Only when the need arose. And damn, did she need it now. The cigarette bud was flicked to the ground, then crushed by the heel of a black boot. Another was whipped out from the pack by a shaking hand and brought to a pair of ruby lips. The hands then fumbled for a lighter, drawing a curse from the beauty when none was found. A hand holding a lighted match appeared in her line of vision and provided the fire needed. Without thinking, the woman took a long drag, feeling the toxins enter her system. "That's your seventh one in ten minutes." Purple eyes turned to the stoic woman beside her, then returned to their study of the streets below. "Okay, let's try it this way. What the hell is wrong with you?" "Guess. Take a long, hard guess." "You're so transparent." "Well?" the dark-haired woman snapped. "Hotaru." Silence. Utena Takahashi sighed and massaged her temple. Why did her friend have to make everything so complicated? "What happened now?" Rei glared at her partner from the corner of her eyes but didn't give her the satisfaction of turning to her. "I went to the fair yesterday." "I saw." Utena caught Rei's "tell me now or die" look and sighed again. "Don't you read the paper anymore or is Hotaru the only thing that can catch your interest nowadays?" The miko was silent, though her glare worsened. "It's in the papers, Rei." "What?" "Entertainment section. Haven't you noticed the looks you've been getting all day?" Rei did notice the looks of the employees and heard the whispers. But they always did that. Why should today be any special? Wait, she was in the papers? Damn, there goes her attempt at staying out of the media. "The necklace is pretty," "Hotaru wanted it." Utena silently mouthed "oh" as a look of understanding appeared on her face. "So, you won it for her." "Yes." "Was she grateful?" "Yes." "So, the problem is...?" Rei remained silent and stared at the streets below. Her partner waited patiently, but she wasn't that patient when it came to something potentially important. "Well?" "I don't know what to do." "What to do as in...?" "I... I have feelings for her, and they're not like before." 'THANK YOU!' Utena mentally screamed to every deity known to man. Finally, Hino has acknowledged her feelings for the girl. About damn time! "And the problem is?" Rei took another long drag and turned to Utena. The older woman was immediately struck by the jumble of emotions in those lavender eyes. "I don't know what to do." Desperation. Fear. Hesitation. Things Utena was not used to seeing from Rei. "I don't know if I love her or if I'm just lusting for her. Can I ever love her?" "Rei-" "I don't want to lead her on, Utena. I can't. I know how it feels to be dumped and given, 'it's not you, it's me.' I don't want to do that to her. I can't do that to her." The older woman stared at her partner. The miko's eyes were closed, her face contorted in pain. Pale arms wrapped around her own slender body in an attempt to protect herself. The cigarette lay forgotten on the floor. "If I can't love her, ever, then it's better to let her forget whatever she's feeling for me. I don't want to hurt her." Brown eyes closed slowly, feeling the wind play with her black hair. What should she tell Rei? Try to love her? Let her go? "Can you love her?" The miko opened her eyes, slowly turning to look at the woman beside her. Was Utena deaf? Hasn't she been talking about how she didn't know whether or not she could love Hotaru? "I'm serious, Rei. Forget about how you might hurt her, forget about the consequences. Can you love her? Are you capable of loving anyone?" Utena watched as the other woman braced herself on the railing, her shoulders slumping as she seemed to curl up. Her lavender eyes stared at the ground. There she was, the real Rei Hino, a woman broken by love... "More importantly..." Rei felt her partner kneel beside her, a hand taking hold of her chin. She suddenly found herself staring into Utena's grave brown eyes. "Will you let yourself take the chance of loving and maybe getting hurt again?" Hotaru sat on the couch, fingering the rings around her neck. Rei... 'What are you thinking? What are you feeling?' She gripped the rings tightly in her hand, eyes closing as her head tipped back. Special. Special as in what? A best friend? A daughter? A fellow senshi? A little sister? A lover? Without opening her eyes, Hotaru rolled off the couch and stood, hand still clenching the necklace. So many days. She's been at Rei's for so long. The most intense two weeks of her life. And she has yet to know her exact place in the miko's life. Who was she to Rei? Just a companion to go to a concert or a fair with? - "You are special to me, more than you thought... more than I thought..." - Hotaru spun around and threw the cell phone in her other hand at the wall with a growl. Why did she have to give the necklace to her? Didn't Rei know she's just making things so much more complicated? Kenji was surprised when he saw Hotaru Tomoe walk out of the elevator. Rei hadn't mentioned that the girl was coming over. With a large grin, he headed to meet her. When Utena stepped forward, however, he stopped. Both women seemed a bit... too serious... as they spoke. His partner nodded curtly and led the younger woman down the hallway, leaving him confused. ........... Rei frowned as she heard her door open, but didn't look up. Probably someone dropping off more paper work. The person approached her desk and stood there for a long time. "Just set them down and lea-" The sentence hung in the air as lavender eyes meet violet. The miko closed her mouth, trying not to show her shock, and failing miserably. "Hotaru?" "I came to tell you something." Rei's heart sank at the flat tone and expressionless face. She could imagine all the possible things her friend would say. And she didn't like any of them, quite honestly. "Yeah?" "I'm leaving." Shocked eyes widened as Rei's ruby lips parted to protest. But she couldn't. She had no right. What could possibly be said now? 'Stay, please. I can't offer you anything, I don't even know if I can ever love you, but stay.' Rei closed her mouth. 'Idiot, did you really think Hotaru would wait forever? Wait for you to get over yourself and love her?' 'Say something!' Hotaru's mind screamed. 'Anything! Tell me you love me! Tell me you like my company! Just tell me to stay...' 'It was fun while it lasted,' Rei thought bitterly. 'It was fun feeling loved again. It was fun knowing someone cared. But it had to end sometime.' Hotaru's eyes bore into Rei's. Neither of them moved. 'Say it, Rei. Just say it.' Nothing. Violet eyes looked away first and Hotaru cleared her throat. She smoothed her skirt, looking down as Rei seemed to break from the trance. "Haruka and Michiru came home this morning." "I see." Silence. Hotaru turned, prepared to walk out. So, this is the end. The confusion, the complications, the bond, the excitement, the rush... the emotions... "Wait." Rei watched as the girl stopped but didn't turn. Part of her clung desperately to the last two weeks. She couldn't just let it go like this. "Let's go have a drink somewhere." ............ Hotaru followed Rei into the club. The bouncer recognized the miko and let her in without a word. The place was packed, throngs of people dancing happily and drinking. No wonder the club was called "Ecstasy." "What do you want?" Rei watched as her companion turned to her, memorizing every detail. This would be her last opportunity to do so. "Just a beer." Minutes later, Hotaru found herself in the VIP section, sitting on a comfortable sofa while Rei sat in an armchair across from her. The room was dimly lit, but the flashing lights below were more than enough to make up for that. Rei sipped her wine, eyes focused on Hotaru's boots. No matter how much she wanted to look into those violet eyes, she knew she couldn't. "So, how was work?" "Good." The silence rang in their ears more than the pounding music and the shouts of the dancers below combined. Rei looked up, a deadly mistake. She was at once struck by Hotaru's beauty, a different one from usual. Her hair appeared even darker than usual, pure black in the light, or lack there of, contrasting with her pale, ivory skin. She blended into the darkness with her black turtleneck and black skirt. Hotaru was half lounging on the couch; a bent arm resting on the armrest supported her head while seemingly bored eyes stared at the bottle in her hand. So this is what Hotaru looked like in her world. The slight part of her pink lips was almost enough to send Rei off the chair and into the college student's lap. "So, did Haruka and Michiru enjoy their trip?" "Yes, I suppose so," 'That's why they left me alone with you for so long,' the younger woman added mentally. "Good." Silence once again. The tension in the air was almost pallable. "Hotaru." "Yes?" "Do you love me?" The beer bottle stopped in its journey to the eager pink lips. The younger senshi just sat there, frozen. Rei had no idea what possessed her to ask that question. Not a single clue. The answer was obvious and yet... she wanted to hear it from Hotaru's lips. No, no, it was stupid. Stupid to ask. What if she said no? What if Hotaru finally came to her senses? Rei shifted. "Do you want to dance?" Hotaru nodded silently, willing to do just about anything to get out of answering. She couldn't believe the miko actually asked her. Wasn't it obvious? The college student hated to admit it, but her love went from a secret to practically the top story on the six o'clock news. The two made their way downstairs and onto the dance floor. Rei's racing heart calmed at the beat of the music. Her mind cleared once she saw the flashing lights. This was where she belonged. Hotaru was thankful the miko managed to squeeze them into a good place. It was close enough to the speakers to eliminate all chances of conversation but far enough not to pop their eardrums. Rei tipped her head back and finished her wine, an action Hotaru took in greedily. The way the raven hair brushed against the white fabric of the miko's blouse and the way her elegant neck stretched and revealed more of the creamy skin was far more intoxicating than the beer she had left upstairs. Even the simple movement of placing the wine glass on one of the speakers gave the younger woman an excellent view of the miko's bosom, already showing since she had left the first few buttons of her blouse undone. The first song was an intense fast song. To Rei's surprise, her companion moved with ease, keeping up with the beat and cutting loose. Seeing the contentment of the other woman, the miko decided to throw caution to the wind, though she was still careful not to touch Hotaru too much. The two danced, blending into the crowd yet always staying one step ahead of everyone else. They predicted the next note, the next rhythm and the other's next move. It was their own little world, where when their eyes were open they saw the object of their desire and when they were closed they saw only their fantasies. Pretty soon, they were both sweating. Rei loved the way Hotaru closed her eyes when she threw her head back and let the smoke-filled air caress her fine locks. She loved the way her friend managed to sway her hips hypnotically to even the fastest beat. And she loved the sight of her friend free, loose and all too sexy. - Dancing with an angel, Baby I need you close to me, For just another day - Damn, dancing was supposed to take her mind off of Hotaru, not remind her of the current situation. Stupid DJ. - Is there a reason I don't know, For you to run away- Destiny of Love. - Rei bit her lip, eyes squeezing shut. Hotaru was running away. Away from their muddy relationship, from the confusing emotions and from her. But why? That was the dumbest question Rei Hino has ever asked herself. Why? Who in their right mind would stay? Has she ever professed any feelings or even offered the chance of a relationship? Oh, yeah, and she also flat out asked Hotaru if she loved her. Very sensitive. - Is there nothing I can do To make you change your way? - A question Hotaru's often asked Rei, though never out loud. She used to believe that love could fix everything. But it can't. That was just a misconception, nothing but the dreams of a dazed fool, crazed and intoxicated by love. But she knew better now. Love can't conquer all. It can't make all the pain and demons go away. And despite certain couples she knew, it wasn't always perfect. But you'd expect her to know that. After all, she was Hotaru Tomoe, Sailor Saturn and the most depressed and cynical of the bunch. She did know, but she never accepted it. Part of her burned with the childish hope that love was perfect and without its bumps and bruises. At least, when it came to true love. - Is it love when you want somebody near you? - If that was love, then Rei loved Hotaru. More than she thought. Because she wanted the smaller woman in her arms, her lips bruising those luscious cherries and her hands all over that petite body. She wanted to feel Hotaru pressed against her, feel her heat and have her scent fill her senses. - Can't you stay? - 'Can't you stay, Hotaru? Just stay with me. Wipe away all the pain with your eyes and replace the icy caress of the loneliness consuming me with the fires left in the wake of your touch. Just let me feel loved again.' - Dancing with an angel, standing by my side, talking with me. Dancing with an angel And I hear that voice inside. Dancing with an angel. - Their bodies moved to the music, hearts pumping to the beat and their minds trying their best to make sense of what they shared. Angels, beings so pure that it hurt to gaze at them. And it did hurt the when they looked at each other. Hurt them to the very core of their existence, filling their souls with grief. The miko knew the angel before her was reluctant to save her. Maybe not consciously, but in the end it was all the same. It left her exactly where she'd started. And Hotaru couldn't gaze at her love, because it hurt too much to know that she couldn't save the fallen angel. - Baby, I love you, But I can't follow you. - 'I can't follow you, Rei,' Hotaru screamed in her mind. 'I want to be with you, but I can never walk down that path with you. I can't let myself fall as well. It's selfish, but it would tear me apart.' - So walk away. - Rei gazed at the beauty beside her, seeing the doubt and grief in those violet eyes. She already knew what Hotaru wanted. She wanted to get away as quickly as possible. And Rei will let her. She will let the angel slip between her fingers. Because she deserved better. Better than a broken woman with an empty soul and a frozen heart. Better than being dragged down to her level. So, she will perform one last act of good: she will let her go. The song continued but neither paid attention to the lyrics. The screams of pain in their hearts blocked out everything else. But they never stopped moving. Stopping meant ending. Ending meant walking away, from each other and everything they've shared. That was one type of hell neither one could bear just yet. After a few more songs, the two headed for the bar, the tension and dread destroying the relaxed atmosphere they had shared at the beginning of the dance. As Hotaru jumped onto an empty stool, Rei stood behind her, unable to squeeze into the throng of people crowded around the bar. "What do you want?" the smaller girl tossed over her shoulder. The noise in the club caused the soft voice to die out long before it could reach Rei, but the miko nevertheless knew what her companion asked. She leaned forward, a hand resting on Hotaru's shoulder. "Gin and Tonic." Rei's breath tickled Hotaru's skin, sending electric pulses up and down her already sensitive body. Her hands itched to reach back and pull those lips to hers but she crushed the desire. She was leaving Rei, not making out with her. "Two Gin and Tonics." The bartender nodded, casting a lustful glance at the two women. They were both sweaty and slightly disheveled, but still beautiful. Hotaru unconsciously leaned against Rei as the exhaustion of dancing that long with the seductive woman began to take its toll. Rei responded by wrapping the arm on the smaller woman's shoulder around her, pulling her closer. The drinks soon arrived, something Hotaru was thankful for as she downed it, so fast Rei barely caught the movement. The miko stared at her in concern, but shrugged as she sipped her drink from the highball glass with controlled grace. The woman to Hotaru's right stood up abruptly, leaving the bar and bringing her crowd of admirers with her as she left. The miko moved from her position behind her friend, somewhat regretfully to be honest, and slid into the vacant seat. She crossed her legs and leaned against the bar in a motion so fluid Hotaru had to restrain herself from licking her lips. 'Damn, it must be the atmosphere,' the smaller woman thought. 'That or the liquor's starting to work its magic already.' 'Who are you joking? You've always wanted to jump her,' came the annoying little voice in the back of Hotaru's mind. Lavender eyes read the distress from the expression on the college student's face and understood her turmoil. She herself was trying to resist the lustful urges that engulfed her body in bursts of passionate flames. 'Down, Hino,' she chastised herself before sipping her drink. 'You've already lost all chances of having a relationship with her. Don't screw up your friendship too.' The miko looked over and groaned softly, a throaty sound that would've driven Hotaru to the edge if she had heard it. But the girl was currently in her own little world, staring at one of the more colorful bottles behind the bar. Her violet eyes were hooded by her bangs as she leaned forward, causing the bartender to stare a little harder halfway down the bar. Her small hand reached into her empty glass, long fingers extracting a piece of ice. Then, in what seemed like slow motion for Rei, she brought the ice to her lips, her tongue darting out to lick the frozen treat. Her eyes closed blissfully as the exquisite taste lingering from the liquor hit her senses and the ice cooled her. Rei groaned again, burying her face in her arms. How was she supposed to resist that? Or her for that matter? She was fighting a losing battle and for once, she didn't even have the strength to put up a decent fight. Hotaru looked over at the motionless figure of her friend with her head in her arms. A frown marred the smaller woman's delicate features, the sensory explosion she experienced seconds ago forgotten. "Rei, are you okay?" The raven-haired woman's head snapped up, amethyst eyes refocusing on the concerned woman. "Yeah, I'm fine." "Are you sure? You look a little sick." "I'm fine. You look a little flushed though." Hotaru shrugged and took off her turtleneck sweater. Not the smartest thing to do. The second Rei saw those pale shoulders and that flawless skin, she downed the rest of her drink. Bad. Very bad. "Rei-" Hotaru was cut off when a man stumbled to the bar, bumping into her and sending a few drops of his wine onto her shoulder. The pale girl frowned in annoyance and reached for a napkin as the man rudely stumbled away without apologizing. She cursed under her breath as she finally managed to get her hand on a napkin. But there was no need when Rei suddenly leaned forward, ruby lips kissing away the first drop. Hotaru froze, staring wide-eyed at the woman she was trying to leave. Instead of moving away, Rei wrapped her arms around her friend's waist, pulling the petite body to her. Hotaru couldn't tell if this was real or some crazy dream. Rei would never kiss her, much less on her neck. And she would never press her body against her own with such need. And Rei would definitely never lick her neck... Wait. A groan escaped her pink lips at the miko's touch. The older woman was now standing, forcing her friend against the bar. Her tongue darted out, licking the drops of liquor and teasing Hotaru relentlessly. Rei had no idea what the hell she was doing as she trailed butterfly kisses along Hotaru's shoulder and neck. The dams broke and all control went flying out the window. Consequences be damned, she wanted Hotaru. She needed Hotaru. The college student placed a hand on the miko's shoulder as a moan made its way out of her mouth from deep within her chest. The other hand ran through the dark purple hair of her seducer, caressing the strands with both fondness and raw desire. Rei almost went crazy at Hotaru's touch, her legs growing weak as she grabbed the bar with her right hand to support herself. She couldn't stay here with Hotaru, she would do something. So, without a word, she stepped back and pulled her companion to her feet, her arm never leaving the petite waist. Violet eyes blinked in confusion and longed for the ruby lips on her skin. But she wouldn't question Rei. One look at the smoky lavender eyes reassured her more than words ever would. The two made their way back onto the dance floor just as a song with a tantalizingly slow tempo and the most hypnotic allure started. The two moved to the music, though not as far apart as before. - Turn around and smell what you don't see Turn around... it's so clear - The two pressed against each other, hands everywhere, finally getting a chance to touch. Rei buried her face in the short hair she adored so much, moaning when she felt Hotaru's hand caress her back. She returned the favor by trailing kisses up the younger girl's neck, causing the woman's knees to buckle. - Don't think twice before you listen to your heart - Hotaru felt Rei's arms catch her and with sadistic pleasure the miko began nibbling on her ear. The desire in her rose and she gripped the woman's shoulders tightly. Rei pulled back, looking at her friend's face with fear. Did she want to stop? The shorter girl stared into the miko's eyes, slightly out of breath and her own violet eyes smoky with need. Rei couldn't look away and sure as hell couldn't think. She bent down and captured her friend's lips. - Follow the trace for a new start. - The action, as cliché as it sounds, caused the entire world around them to slip away. They heard neither the pounding music nor felt the sweaty bodies pressing against them. They were only aware of their lips touching and their own hearts pounding in their ears. Despite the ferocity at which they tugged and touched each other before, the kiss was gentle, slow and tender. They managed to keep out the lust and passion that consumed them, leaving behind only the pure form of their feelings for each other. - What you need, And everything you feel Is just a question of the deal. - The two broke away, out of breath and stunned. Hotaru brought a hand to her lips, shocked that she had finally kissed Rei. After all the ruined chances and untimely interruptions, they finally kissed. And it was like Heaven. That was the only way to describe it. Nothing else did it justice. Rei licked her lips, Hotaru's taste lingering. She craved another kiss, to touch those lips with her unworthy ones and to feel the soft rose petals again... Before Hotaru could catch her breath, Rei's ruby lips claimed hers once again. The miko pulled her small body to her own lean one, arms wrapped tightly around the petite waist. The younger girl moaned softly while her arms snaked around her love's neck, fingers leaving feather-light kisses on the nape of Rei's neck. The action only caused the miko to increase the passion of what started as a tender caress of lips. She nibbled on Hotaru's bottom lip, effectively causing the girl to part her sweet lips. - The experience of survival is the key To the gravity of love. - Hotaru met the miko's eager tongue with her own, creating a dance only the two of them could ever partake in. Her small hands traveled along the woman's neck, burying themselves in the miko's thick mane and leaving the same airy touches there as she did on her neck. Rei moaned, feeling her desire grow. She was fully aware of Hotaru smiling smugly against her lips as they kissed, something she intended to change. Without breaking the kiss, her hand slipped under the smaller woman's shirt, pressing it against the sweaty skin with loving force. She caressed her right shoulder blade before raking her nails down the dark-eyed girl's back. The action caused the shorter girl to tremble and break the kiss, panting as she buried her face in the crook of the older woman's neck. Just as Rei began to smirk in triumph, she felt moist kisses on her skin. 'Oh dear gods, she is a little temptress isn't she?' The kisses moved up the miko's graceful neck before they stopped all together. Rei opened her mouth to protest when she felt a sharp tug on her left earlobe. "Oh god, Hotaru..." Violet eyes opened, twinkling deviously. Oh... how much she was enjoying this... Rei knew they couldn't stay here much longer. She was ready to throw Hotaru onto the bar and take her right in this damn club. But no, not here. The college student squealed when the miko suddenly gathered her in her arms and lifted her off her feet before stalking towards the exit. She felt the impatience and aggravation rise in her companion and smiled in triumph. The cool night air calmed Rei a bit, though not by much. The feel of Hotaru pressed against her and those pink lips on her shoulder was enough to counter any affect the crisp air was having on her. Hotaru felt herself being placed on the hood of Rei's car as she searched her pockets for her keys. Where the Hell were they? One look at the violet eyes of Hotaru Tomoe clouded with lust caused the miko to stop her search and lean over to capture the tantalizing lips. Before either of them knew it, the smaller girl was lying on the hood, tank top on the ground. "Fuck the rules," Rei growled as light surrounded them both. The silence and darkness of the miko's apartment surround them, replacing the chilled air of the parking lot. Hotaru felt herself pressed against the door to Rei's room while their lips remained locked in a heated kiss. Her hand frantically searched for the doorknob and turned it forcefully when she found it. The two stumbled into the room... and never made it to the bed. Rei groaned softly as she was released from sleep. She was sore... very sore... but incredibly happy. She felt light and all warm inside. Hotaru... The thought forced her to open her eyes and greedily sought out the beautiful girl. But she found nothing. The indentation beside her on the bed was cold. Rei snapped to a sitting position, eyes searching frantically for any sight of the girl. Only her own clothes, haphazardly thrown on the floor, met her. 'Maybe she's in the shower...' The miko fanned out her senses, searching her apartment for any sign of the younger girl's aura. Nothing. Rei's mouth parted slightly, wide eyes staring unblinkingly at the sheets tangled around her legs. Hotaru left. She didn't even hope that the girl went out and would be back soon. She knew Hotaru was gone. And she was not coming back. The woman curled into a tiny ball, ignoring the cold biting her as the tears fell. She was alone. The first song is "Dancing With An Angel" from Ayashi no Ceres. The second one is "Gravity of Love" by Enigma. Neither, of course, belong to me. But do check them out if you have a chance. The latter is especially amazing. - Twitch
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