Double Jeopardy (part 5 of 28)

a Sailor Moon fanfiction by Neuroleptic

Back to Part 4
The Other Side of the Coin

She wasn't sure if her eyes were open or not, because it was so dark. 
All Ami could see was a black so deep that it seemed to penetrate her 
very mind. The silence was deafening. Her wrists hurt and she couldn't 
feel her feet on the ground, which probably meant she was hanging from 
something by her wrists. That was all she could tell. It was maddening 
for her not to be able to tell anything about her surroundings. For a 
moment she wondered if she was dead.

Suddenly, out of the darkness, she heard footsteps, then felt something 
small and cold being pasted to the back of her neck and near the bottom 
of both her legs. Then she heard a voice. A voice so familiar it sounded 
like her own mind speaking outside her head.

"Such a lonely soul." The voice continued, "I just spent an entire day 
in your life. How sad you must be, always seeing that which you want 
more than anything else, just out of reach of you. So close to you, that 
you can brush the very tips of your fingers on it, but you can't get a 
hold of it. You have my sympathies. Why, it must be maddening to be 
you." As if she found the thought amusing, the voice laughed quietly at 
the last words it spoke.

Ami felt a little confused and asked, "Who's there?"

The voice roared with laughter for a moment, as if the question were 
hilariously amusing. Then it answered, "Put simply? You." Then sounding 
disgusted, and at the same time as if the voice in the darkness were 
pitying her, "Yet, we are different. You see, unlike you, I have the one 
thing you ever wanted. Love. More specifically, her love."

Then Ami heard a high-pitched whine followed by a sharp pain coursing 
through her body. It seemed to be everywhere at once, flowing through 
her muscles, causing them to twitch both involuntarily and in pain. She 
could actually feel the shape of her heart, lungs, and brain, as well as 
other internal organs from the intensity of it. It took her a moment to 
realize she was being electrocuted. She screamed in agony, her scream 
being heavily distorted by the electricity traveling up and down her 
throat, almost making her voice sound like a tire screeching on 
pavement. Just as suddenly as the experience started, it stopped without 
warning, leaving her able only to groan in agony.

A hand reached out and grabbed her chin roughly. "That, my friend, is 
the closest you will ever get to feeling her wrapped around your body." 
Then she felt another hand grab her throat and squeeze hard enough for 
her not to be able to breathe as the eerie voice said, "I'd be doing you 
a favor by killing you now. Putting you out of your misery, you might 
say." Then the hand crushing her throat pulled away, allowing her to 
breathe, which she did with a loud gasp, feeling fresh, cold air rush 
back into her lungs.

Ami wasn't sure if it was from the electricity or because her tormentor 
simply wasn't being clear enough, but she still felt confused. She knew 
this had to have a purpose so she asked weakly, "What do you want from 
me?"

The hand came back again, this time slapping her sharply, then her own 
voice answered her back, sighing as if disappointed. "To help you 
understand just how pathetic you really are. To make you see yourself 
how you really see yourself. Most importantly, to make you realize just 
how weak and powerless you really are."

"For example, this is power." As the pain renewed itself through Ami's 
body, the voice continued as if lecturing her on physics. "Ten thousand 
volts of electricity coursing through your small, withering, pathetic 
body. A normal human would have died after seconds, but we both know 
you're not normal. The fact that you are still alive shows that you have 
some power. The fact that you're in pain, however, shows that I have far 
more power over you at the moment. As long as we are on the subject of 
power, let's talk about the power of love. Have you ever been in love, 
Ami?"

The pain Ami felt stopped again, but she could still feel her body 
convulsing on its own from the electricity still surging through her. 
After a few more moments of silence, Ami realized her torturer was 
waiting for an answer. Once she was able to, Ami said simply, "No."

The voice laughed out, shouting at the same time, "Way wrong answer!" 
Ami cringed, expecting more electricity to shoot through her. To her 
surprise, it didn't. "You love her." Then, as if letting Ami in on a 
little secret, the voice whispered in her ear much closer than Ami 
thought it would come from or was comfortable with. "Makoto Kino. You 
long for her attention and affection. Her touch, kiss, and most of all 
her love."

Continuing on, assuming a lecturing tone again, the voice said, "Unlike 
me, You don't have it. I think I know why. The answer is as simple to 
you as how gravity works. You are afraid. Not of love, or even 
rejection. No, no, thats not it. You, my poor little weak soul, are 
afraid of breaking the rules. You're afraid of what people will think. 
Why, for example, what would your mother say if she knew?" Touching 
Ami's cheek gently almost as if to wipe away a tear, her 'instructor' 
said, "Poor little soul. Your world would consider you as disgusting as 
vomit in a trash can for your simple desire to be loved by someone you 
are close to. Despite even how you feel about her, you see yourself as 
filthy, simply because of what you know are your true thoughts. This 
makes you feel as if you are garbage. Trash that should have been 
disposed of long ago. Thus, this robs you of a wonderful power you will 
never experience."

Ami wasn't able to stop the small whimper of sadness from leaving her 
lips. Her captor couldn't have hurt her more if she had physically 
punched her in her stomach.

"I shall do you a favor. A single act of kindness for such a wretched, 
sad, pathetic soul, you might say. I'll just throw the switch again, 
letting you experience the closest you will ever come to her. True 
power. Try to remember that through your suffering for the rest of your 
days as you long for her. Remember that I did you a favor."

Once again, Ami felt the jolt of electricity through her body. This 
time, the pain actually felt worse. The voltage was up so high that 
despite being blindfolded, Ami could actually see it arching in front of 
her eyes as she opened her mouth once more to scream.

It took Ami several seconds to realize that she was sitting up in bed, 
screaming at the top of her lungs, and that all that was wrapping around 
her now were her sweat-soaked blankets. The night terror was so vivid 
that even though she was awake, for a few seconds more she swore she 
could still feel the electricity surging through her. The feeling of 
terror was real enough, at least, causing her to hyperventilate. Even 
though she knew where she was, and knew she was safe, she still felt the 
terror of the dream gripping her heart.

She was home in bed, right where Makoto had left her that afternoon when 
she came home from the hospital. As she breathed rapidly with ragged 
breaths, it sunk in slowly that Artemus and Minako were sitting next to 
her bed in the dark room, with looks of concern on their faces. Still 
breathing heavily and clutching her chest for a moment, almost able to 
feel her heart's rapid beating, Ami spoke up before her roommates could 
say anything. "I'm okay! I'm okay! It was just a dream . . . just a 
dream."

Ami held her head in her hands, trying to forget the horrible nightmare. 
Even though she knew Minako and Artemis couldn't know what she was 
dreaming about, she didn't want to admit that it was more than a dream. 
A dream implied it had never happened, and that simply wasn't the case.

The small, white cat jumped onto one side of the bed and looked up at 
Ami. "We heard you screaming, so we came in to check on you. I thought 
you were being attacked or something. Must have been one heck of a 
convincing dream. It took me and Minako nearly five minutes to get you 
to stop screaming and wake up."

Ami's blonde friend sat down on the other side of the bed, and wrapped 
her arms around Ami. "Relax, Ami. Its okay now. You're safe."

Ami couldn't help but think to herself, still feeling very real fear, 
'Like hell, it's okay!' Instead of voicing her thoughts, though, she 
pushed Minako away, got up, padded across the room to her coat hanging 
on the back of her desk chair, and put it on over her pajamas, saying, 
"I'm going to go get some fresh air." Then she grabbed her glasses off 
the computer desk and started to leave the room.

"It's two in the morning, Ami -- maybe you should try going back to 
sleep?", asked Minako. When Ami started walking down the hall without 
answering, Minako and Artemis got up to follow her.

Ami reached for the doorknob, but stopped when she realized she was 
being followed. Sounding uncharacteristically impatient, she said, "I'd 
rather be alone if it's all the same with the two of you." Then, less 
irritated and trying to make them understand, she said, "I just have 
some things I need to think about. I'll be okay." With that, she opened 
the door and left the apartment, leaving her two friends to stare at the 
door in confusion.

Artemis looked up at his long-time companion, twitching his ears 
nervously. "I don't know about you, but I'm worried about her."

"I know." Minako just kept staring at the door a few more seconds, then 
said, "We all are."

The door to the roof of her apartment building flew open as Ami walked 
outside, stretching her arms for a moment. She looked up at the full 
moon for a while, wanting it to answer the questions racing through her 
mind. When it didn't, she gave it a few more seconds of a look that said 
she blamed it for everything that was happening. Then she walked over to 
the edge of the roof, leaning over the concrete barrier to look over it. 
On a clear night, one could see the city skyline of Tokyo for miles in 
every direction, but Ami's attention wasn't on the beautiful scenery. 
She simply leaned over the waist-high concrete wall, looking down at the 
street below.

As she looked at the hard, unfeeling pavement below, a thought crossed 
her mind. Since no one was around, she voiced her thoughts out loud. "I 
could end it all right now." She pushed down on the barrier slightly 
with her hands, as if testing it to see if it could hold her weight, 
lifting herself up just a few inches for a moment. Then she took a deep 
breath. "No more worrying about being alone for a thousand years. No 
more defending a world that barely knows it's in danger or that we 
exist. No more stressing about Makoto, or agonizing over if things will 
work with Pie Lover -- or any other woman for that matter. No more 
dealing with my insecurities. No more night terrors. Best of all," she 
said last, the thought almost bringing a smile to her face, "No more 
pain of any kind. I can just rest and let history take its course 
without me." After staring down at the ground below a few more moments, 
she gave the wall another testing push, lifting herself just a little 
farther up this time.

A gloved hand came seemingly out of nowhere and gently pushed down on 
her shoulder, putting Ami's feet back on the solid roof. "You left out 
the pain your absence would cause others who care about you if you did 
though." Setsuna, dressed in the black and white senshi uniform of 
Sailor Pluto, her long dark green, almost black hair flowing in the wind 
added quietly, "So, for my own selfish reasons, I'd just as soon you 
didn't."

Ami just continued to stare out over the edge, this time focusing on the 
horizon. "You know I won't do it anyway." Giving herself a sad smile, 
the smaller woman added, "It would be too easy." Then. feeling tears run 
down her face. she finished, "So easy that its unimaginably tempting, 
Setsuna."

The Senshi of time gently pulled Ami away from the barrier. "I know it 
hurts now, but if you give it time, you will see that the universe will 
unfold as it should. You won't hurt forever." Smiling as she stood 
behind Ami, Setsuna finished, "You'll find that the pain might even be 
worth it to experience the joys your life will eventually bring you, and 
you'll appreciate them that much more because of how you feel right 
now."

Ami wasn't sure whether to be angry with Sailor Pluto for not telling 
her more about her future, or grateful for the small tidbit she had 
revealed. Somehow, knowing that helped the aching pain in Ami's spirit, 
if only a little.

The smaller, blue-haired woman continued to search the horizon for 
answers and said, "Makoto has agreed to tell the others that I'm going 
to take a bit to sort things out, so she will inform you all of what I 
learned about our new adversaries during my . . . stay with them. I feel 
guilty though. Like I'm abandoning them. I know it's only temporary, but 
I . . . "

As Ami became lost in her own thoughts, Setsuna said reassuringly, "You 
don't need my permission. Your reasons for needing a bit of time with a 
little less stress are more than acceptable enough. On top of that, you 
were able to make some use out of what must have been a terrifying 
situation by getting valuable information about your captors. When 
you're ready to help out again, we will accept you with open arms. We 
will also be here for you if you need us, just as I know you will be 
here for us if we need you. I just ask that you keep one more thing in 
mind while you sort through things."

Ami looked up at Setsuna, waiting for her to continue. Setsuna looked 
out at the city skyline, then said quietly, "Don't fear or deny yourself 
your destiny. No matter what."

----------

"Where's Ami, anyway?", Hotaru asked out loud to whoever would answer 
her question.

Makoto had just finished telling the others of her new role as owner at 
her restaurant. Then she made a comment about wishing Ami was here after 
saying it, which led Hotaru to ask her question. All of the Senshi, 
besides Ami that is, had gathered in Rei's room for a meeting to discuss 
what they knew and should do about their new threat. Since a few in the 
group hadn't been informed of Ami's decision, Hotaru's question was a 
good one.

Makoto opened her mouth to answer, but was beat to it by Minako. "She's 
not coming."

Hotaru, Michiru, Haruka, Rei, and Usagi all had the same comment. A very 
surprised "What?" at the same time.

The question and answer session of the meeting was apparently going to 
start early, was Rei's thought. So she asked, "What do you mean she's 
not coming? She is the one who has had the most contact with our new 
threat!" No one on the team wanted to refer to the Sekkou as their 
doubles, or admit that they had anything in common, even though it was 
obvious. "Plus, she's our strategist! This is like practicing Tai Chi 
while missing a leg! It's...It's..." Rei looked at the others in the 
group, trying to think of a way to continue her tirade.

Haruka had no problems continuing it for her. "It's stupid that's what 
it is."

Makoto decided to speak, cutting off Usagi before she could throw in her 
two yen. "She's not coming because I told her not to." All those in the 
group who still hadn't known Ami would be out for a while turned their 
attention from the absent member of the team to her.

Usagi looked at Makoto, confused, and asked the obvious question. "Why 
would you do that, Makoto? Ami hasn't missed a meeting since . . . 
ever."

Taking a deep breath, Makoto said, "Because she is under a lot of . . . 
psychological stress at the moment. Her ordeal was extremely traumatic 
on her. So while she comes to terms with what she went through, she is 
taking a break from her duties as a Senshi. She told me what she wants 
to say during this meeting, so she doesn't need to be here anyway. So 
consider her in reserve for the time being."

Minako nodded in agreement.

Then Makoto felt it was time to inform them of the small security leak. 
"And . . . because her mother sorta . . . asked me to suggest it to 
her."

Minako nodded again, then froze like a statue with her eyes wide open 
once it sunk in what Makoto had said.

Everyone else in the group had their eyes and mouths wide open except 
Setsuna, though the comment even got a reaction out of her as she raised 
one eyebrow and leaned forward, as if waiting for Makoto to continue.

Michiru, breaking the stunned silence, spoke quietly for everyone this 
time. "What do you mean, she asked you to?" After she said that, 
everyone else decided to speak their minds at once.

"What?! Did Ami just outright tell her everything?", Rei nearly 
screamed.

"Oh, my god..." spoke Minako, almost in a whisper.

Haruka yelled out, "You are kidding, right?"

Hotaru shouted at Rei, "Ami would never do such a thing!"

Setsuna even had words for that. "Now, that is interesting."

Usagi just stammered, "Bu...bu...bu..."

Despite being the tallest one in the room, Makoto suddenly felt about 
the size of an ant. No, an ant would have been taller. Suddenly feeling 
angry for being forced into a corner on the subject, Makoto screamed, 
"Quiet!"

Once dead silence reined supreme in the room again, she continued. "She 
knows. Apparently, she has known since nearly the beginning. The only 
reason she brought it up at all was because Ami wound up in the hospital 
and she was concerned." Makoto left out the part about her asking Ami to 
quit completely. That would have infuriated everyone and officially put 
the group either into a frenzy or out of control entirely. "She just 
asks that we make sure she isn't hurt when she returns. I know none of 
us can guarantee that, but I promised I would do my best. Ami doesn't 
know, and I also agreed to keep that from her at least as long as 
possible." Then she added, "She knows. I felt you all should know as 
well. That's really all there is to say on the subject. Now, can we 
please move on to the main reason for this little get together?"

Everyone else in the group looked at each other, looked at Makoto and 
nodded. There simply wasn't much more they could do other than hope Dr. 
Mizuno continued to keep it a secret.

Minako decided to start the rest of the meeting off. "Ami will still be 
nearby, but she won't be participating in meetings, training, or the 
like for a while. She also suggested to me this morning that we use 
Hotaru as our strategist until she is ready to rejoin us."

Hotaru, still trying to make sense of everything brought up to this 
point, was caught off guard as she fell under the scrutiny of the group. 
"Why me?"

Minako smiled at Hotaru then said, "Ami actually gave several reasons 
for it. The main two, though, were that you are one of her best 
students, and because of what she heard about how you ended the 
hostilities during our last encounter. You showed a lot of potential in 
your decision making skills when you held their leader hostage in 
exchange for Ami and their departure."

Mostly for Makoto's benefit, Minako relayed the events leading up to how 
Hotaru managed to catch Dark Moon off guard. "We had decided, when we 
didn't find you outside, to go in and have a look. None of us knew if, 
or because of your lack of information, who, we were dealing with or 
where they were. Hotaru suggested that the outer senshi surround the 
outside of the building and watch to make sure no one tried to come in 
and jump us, and if we needed them, for us to give them a signal. When 
she saw the equipment fly through the wall, she decided that was a good 
signal to come in. She climbed up the side of the building using an old 
access ladder to the roof and found a way to get onto the catwalks."

Smiling when Hotaru started to blush, Minako finished, "She found Dark 
Moon observing the battle from above and caught her off guard. You know 
the rest. You saved the day, Hotaru, without using a single attack."

Haruka placed a hand on Hotaru's shoulder, silently acting as a proud 
'father' should. Then Haruka said, "So what are your first words of 
wisdom?" to which everyone cheered.

Hotaru jumped into her new temporary position immediately even if 
awkwardly. "I shouldn't have done that. I should have found another way 
to get you all out without them seeing me. By doing that, I gave away 
the answer to the one question they wanted to know most at the moment. 
Who, if any, the outer Sailor Senshi are."

Rei said reassuringly, "They may know about you, but they can't know 
about your parents since they didn't see them."

Hotaru responded, "They're not stupid. Even if they aren't sure, they'll 
probably start looking for myself, Haruka papa, Michiru mama, and 
Setsuna mama in their dimension, if they haven't already, just to make 
sure. Of course, they'll be right."

Usagi spoke, connecting the dots in her mind out loud. "So that means 
they are probably going to come back with a full group."

Michiru threw her thought on the table. "They'll have to find them 
first, then train them. At least that buys us some time to come up with 
a plan. Which means it's time to start talking about what we know about 
them so we can get to work on that."

Makoto unfolded the paper Ami had typed up for her this morning. It was 
actually the second draft, since the first had words in it Makoto 
couldn't pronounce or understand. "Got it." she said as she started to 
read.

"The five we know of have different names from the five inner planetary 
Senshi. Usagi's double is named Serena, mine is named Lita, Ami's is 
Amy, Rei's is Ray, and Minako's is named Mina. They call themselves 
Sekkou, as in spy, or scout, instead of Senshi. Ami feels this indicates 
they are perhaps scouts for an invasion of some sort and are currently 
in the information gathering stage, or it could simply be a title."

Rei mumbled from her seat, "Oh, that's wonderful. If they come at us 
with all the planetary senshi, that's fine. I'd even say that would be 
fair. But if they pull out, say, a Dark Sailor Galaxia, you guys can 
count me out, okay?"

Continuing as if she hadn't heard, Makoto said, "They are essentially 
like us. Similar personalities, mannerisms, nearly exact appearance, and 
planetary association and such. But they are psychotic, and much more 
violent when provoked or angered, except for Serena who is strangely 
caring, and seams to detest the others' ways of doing things. She isn't, 
however, willing to betray or work against them, and tends to go along 
with what they decide even if she is repulsed by it. Their attacks are 
also more aggressive, and they will use any means necessary to 
accomplish a goal. They can pass for any of us, but because of 
differences in culture and history, as well as their previously 
mentioned psychology, they can only do it for so long before it would 
become apparent to us."

Wrapping up, Makoto said, "They are from a parallel dimension to our 
own. Ami's only suggestion at this time is that we come up with a 'code 
question' to ask each other if we think one of us isn't . . . who we 
seem to be. She also suggests we start fighting each other for practice 
again, and says that it is currently impossible for us to build a portal 
or otherwise come up with a way for us to bring the fight to them due to 
technological limitations . . . That's it."

Hotaru said quietly from where she was, "I hate to say it, but that 
doesn't give us much to go on. We could have guessed on most of that 
already . . . "

"What if we make up a question, and they anticipate it, and know the 
answer?", was Usagi's question. Makoto blinked a few times, thinking to 
herself that it was a very good question, since Ami apparently hadn't 
thought of an answer either, due to her not writing anything about the 
possibility.

----------

In a parallel dimension not too far from where the Senshi were now, the 
Sailor Sekkou were having a meeting of their own. Where the shrine the 
Senshi meet up at in their universe would be normally was a huge 
skyscraper building for office space run by Ray's family. They held 
their meetings in the top floor, far above Tokyo in a huge spacious 
office. Black marble tile, concrete and steel, a wonderful view . . . 
the building was everything the shrine wasn't.

As Serena was lifted off the ground several feet by the collar of her 
Sekkou uniform by a furious Lita, Ray screamed, "Just what the hell were 
you thinking when you were up there anyway?"

"I was . . . watching to see if anyone else was coming," she said 
weakly.

Amy tapped Lita on the shoulder gently. "It's not of any concern. We 
found out what we wanted to know at this point in the game. If she 
hadn't gotten caught like that, we might not have learned a thing."

Mina looked at Amy in disbelief. "How can you stand up for her right 
now? You know damn well the reason she was up there was because she 
didn't want to fight them. I'm surprised you're willing to tolerate such 
weakness." Then with a bit of fear in her voice, but still angry, she 
asked, "Do you know what Beryl would do to us if she found out about her 
actions?"

Amy snapped back, "Almighty Queen Beryl only thinks she is in charge. 
She needs us, so it doesn't matter what she knows. Yes, it was weakness. 
For once, a weakness that serves our purposes, so I'm willing to 
tolerate it this time."

More excitedly, almost sounding like a mad scientist, the blue-haired 
woman said, "The important thing is, the plan worked! The dimensional 
portal works! Since mirror matter and dark matter is present in their 
universe with sufficient abundance then its gravitational effects can be 
detected! Because mirror matter is analogous to ordinary matter, and its 
similarity to dark ma-"

Dark Moon cut Amy's rambling off short, shouting angrily, "You're a fool 
if you think she needs us for anything more than trophies!"

Lita shook Serena violently for a moment, becoming even more infuriated 
with Serena at insulting her girlfriend. "Then next time, you should be 
of more help during a fight if that's what you think!" Then, with a roar 
of frustration, she threw their princess down on the unforgiving ground 
as hard as she could.

Ray spoke, changing the subject and sounding as if nothing had happened. 
"So what useful little tidbits did we manage to uncover of use to us?"

Amy flipped on her mini computer for a moment, referencing notes. "I 
found out a ton of information on our doppelgangers for starters. Some 
of it may be useful, some of it may not. I'll print up reports of what I 
found out about them for all of you. Most of it is from observation, so 
it may only be things specific to a situation, may not be useful at all, 
or may be valuable. Time will tell."

Then, more concerned, she said, "Their history is vastly different. 
Obviously, for starters, they managed to defeat at least Beryl. That's 
why she fears them."

"Their technology is vastly inferior to ours. City layouts are flipped 
or scrambled beyond recognition, but many building designs and functions 
are similar... I've got so much data to analyze, its insane." She had 
nearly filled her data computer to its capacity and hadn't scratched the 
surface of their Internet. It was just a glimpse at their culture and 
thought, but it would have to do. Even still, it was a tremendous amount 
of information.

"Culturally, there world is completely different. Homosexual 
relationships, for example, are generally regarded as taboo, though at 
the moment it seems to be very slowly becoming acceptable. They still 
use a primitive economic system based on money. As another example, they 
drink alcohol, which is a chemical substance we use for medicinal and 
cleaning purposes only . . . great stuff, by the way." Amy stopped a 
moment while she gathered her thoughts. So much information, so little 
time to go over it all. Then she said, "There isn't any way we are going 
to be able to try a swap for near as long as we did this time again now 
that they are aware of us though. Their culture is just too different 
and primitive for them not to notice. Eventually we would slip up. But 
we may be able to do it for a few hours if necessary."

Then Amy added, going back to mad scientist mode again, "On a scientific 
note, which no one else seems to be interested in hearing at the moment, 
dark matter makes up something like seventy-three percent of their 
galaxies in their universe. Since dark matter is extremely useful to-"

Mina nodded impatiently. "Yea, yea! Bla bla bla! What about the extra 
Senshi?"

Sighing, Amy said, "Some people have no appreciation for a scientist. 
Well, I know who they are in their universe, or at least I think I know. 
But it's going to take time to find them without tipping Beryl off as to 
what we are up to."

Rising from the floor, Serena said, "That's where I come in."

The other Sekkou looked at her a little doubtfully. "Beryl is going to 
listen to you tell her we want to awake four more Sailor Sekkou?", asked 
Ray. "She barely trusts us enough to let us live."

"She won't just let us. By the time I get through talking to her, she'll 
even help us do it!" Serena said confidently.

Onwards to Part 6


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