VOLUME THREE: THE DEAD ROSE
“Shivering Timbers: the pirate queen!”
Waking up from a smoky unconsciousness was probably the worst thing that had ever happened to Captain Zola Iminstileil, and that was counting the time she had to sacrifice her own child in order to save her crew from a ravenous black hole (long story). She thought she knew what true nightmares were, and that nothing in this world or any number of worlds—or even anything from the bowels of Hell itself—could prove her wrong. When she opened her eyes and felt clarity bestowed upon her, however, she knew her perspective was being rewritten before her very eyes. Those pirates didn’t simply kill her crew and ransack the place, oh no. They maimed the bodies, ripped the skin off, flung the blood everywhere, threw the wet bones in a pile, and laughed about it while sharing the spoils—both material and corporeal.
She could close her eyes and shut her mouth to silence her bellowing screams, but she could still smell the rancid smoke, the putrid stink of blood, the rot of massacred bodies, and the scorching of flesh as the few survivors were jabbed with white-hot irons. Oh god, she thought to herself, they’re BRANDING my crew! It’s like we’re nothing more than cattle to them! Admittedly, the pirates spared most of the women and didn’t harm anyone younger than sixteen, but that didn’t excuse this appalling depravity. She felt like she was spiraling down, dizzy with revulsion, more content to slip into unconsciousness than stay awake to witness this. But the overpowering stench of defeat and destruction kept her awake, and her eyes were forced open just long enough to glare at her hated foe.
“God will never forgive you for this!” she snarled. The pirate captain just smiled wolfishly and wrapped her fingers around Zola’s chin—but was she cupping it affectionately or getting ready to crush her throat? With this one, it was hard to tell.
“Don’t act so pious, Captain Daddy’s Girl. You deserve no better.” Zola clamped her teeth down on the woman’s hand as hard as she could, and was slapped sharply for her efforts.
“You dare to compare us after this?!” she cried. “What you’re doing would put devils to shame!”
“Hell yeah,” the other woman chuckled. “That’s the business we’re in. But be a dear and jog my memory for me. Didn’t your crew attack innocent people a few times? You burned, you sacked, you raped, the whole shebang. You gave pirates a pretty good reputation…except that you weren’t really pirates, were you?”
“Be quiet!!”
“All in the name of your King and Queen, eh?” she grinned. Zola sprang to her feet and grabbed the nearest weapon she could find; the glass shard cut into her palm, but pain was now the least of her worries.
“We were at war, and they were our enemies. God forgave us because what we did was righteous! They were a country of pagans! When you get to Hell, the devils will throw you into the deepest, darkest pit, where you’ll writhe in agony for eternity! We waged a holy war! How dare you suggest you’re better than us!”
“Did you write that speech yourself?” the captain grinned, never once missing a beat. Zola couldn’t take it anymore; she rushed right at the devilish woman, thrusting her shard as deep as she could. It sunk into the woman’s chest, but all she did was flash her wicked teeth, pull Zola close, and give her a farewell kiss. Her long cutlass plunged straight through Zola’s flesh and slashed downwards, splitting her like a banana peel. The pirate captain then sighed, wiped her mouth and sword, and faced her crew.
“Waste of a good corset.” She unbuttoned her coat and flung off the shredded piece of thick clothing, briefly exposing her breasts. The crew laughed and cheered, and threw piles of dead, withered roses—their trademark calling card. “All right, move out, lasses! Tag the rest of the prisoners and cart in the loot! We’ll set this maggot-ridden dinghy adrift to warn the other Royal slags! And may their holy warmongering god have mercy on their souls!” The crew laughed and cheered louder than before as they led their naked hostages into the ship. The Dead Rose, Captain of the Bloody Dove and leader of an all-woman pirate gang, was the last to board her ship and mockingly saluted the Majestic Hand as she sailed away. Revenge was so sweet.
……
Meanwhile, nearly half a galaxy away, Keiko Ozmund had finally arrived at her destination, the headquarters of the United Cosmic Military, and was scheduled to speak with the Director concerning a certain rise in piracy around the less civilized pockets of space. Her brother Kyle was really more suited
for these kinds of confrontations than she was: he was the heart and soul of the Ozmund Company; he could command the love and respect of the people. Keiko was clearly the brain of the operation, but she could barely command a dog, and was shy around those she was unfamiliar with. Because of her amazing brilliance, she was ostracized by the general public and had very few friends, and only volunteered to see the Director because she felt a sort of kinship with the older woman. Besides, if Kyle had come in her place, she would have to care for the Company, and that would be disastrous.
The United Cosmic military had been around since before the last Ice Age, according to Gaia’s chronology. It was thousands of years old and immensely powerful, combining police forces and armies from countless worlds. The Helios system was still a relative newcomer, just barely thirty years as a member, yet it wielded significant influence, especially considering the Director originated from that system. Keiko had never met her in person, but she heard plenty of rumors, and most of it was praise. The woman was relatively young and considered a genius, even among the elite, and she even had a family history of military service and space exploration. Keiko figured she’d be able to hold her own with a celebrity like that and believed they could reason together—so naturally, she was very disappointed when an aide came in to tell her that the Director would be unable to make it.
“She sends her deepest apologies and assumes responsibility for any inconvenience, but she’s currently on vacation, and…not to be rude or anything, but it was long overdue. The Director has promised me personally that she will return in a week or less, but in the meantime, you’ve been given an audience with a member of our board of trustees. He’s not officially a part of the UCM, but he does have quite a bit of clout around here. In a lot of ways, he’s just as good as the Director. Uh, should I send him in?”
“Well, if he’s been waiting for me, I see no point in wasting his time.” The aide hurried over to the doorway and opened it; Keiko jumped to her feet and felt her blood run cold as she saw him enter the room. There are some people in this life who simply exude a magnificent, intimidating presence even when they’re relaxed; Lord Maoska Demise was one of those people, an exceptional, powerful man with a stern face and very sharp eyes. Keiko recognized him instantly and stood at attention, feeling somewhat afraid. The Ozmund Company was a big name in the transport business, but when it came to technological power, Demise Industries had no rival.
“Sir, I… Forgive me for taking so much of your valuable time!” she stammered. “I had thought…well…I mean…uh…excuse me for babbling!”
“Calm down,” he spoke firmly, “and take a seat. If you’re not relaxed, this meeting will bode poorly for us both. You there, could you bring us some tea? I don’t really care how mine is prepared; what’s your fancy, Miss Ozmund?”
“Um…just chamomile will do, if you don’t mind.” The aide vanished silently, leaving Keiko to turn red from humiliation. So much for feeling like she could handle the situation! “S-sir,” she whispered, “I mean, my lord, I presume you know why I’ve come and what my request is about. Please forgive me for acting like a frightened little mouse. I’m not very good at…interactions.”
“Well, we must all have at least one shortcoming,” he gestured numbly. “I’ve never been good at music myself. Yes, I’ve been informed of your purpose. It’s unfortunate the Director could not be here, but she does work rather hard, I must admit. I’ve never particularly liked the people who run this vast organization, so it’s taken me some time to warm up to this one. She seems competent enough—but anyway, now I am babbling.” Keiko blushed even deeper, but the appearance of the tea saved her. She slowly regained her composure and even relaxed her shoulders. Lord Demise was almost kingly in his demeanor and appearance; all he lacked was a beard and a crown. He had graceful, fluid manners and was both handsome and mild, though he looked strong enough to wrestle a bear.
“There are numerous pirate factions out in those wild regions you’re planning on expanding into,” he stated after taking a few quiet sips. “Some, let’s be honest, are much less harmless than others. Since my influence has not reached into those areas yet, I cannot perfectly understand your situation, but I believe I have a good grasp of things. So you’re considering signing a contract with an outside source that promises protection in return for profits. I presume you’ve either looked into this offer more carefully, or else you’re in the process, and you’ve decided to seek an alternative in case you don’t find something you like. Pirates are a tiny fraction of the problem besetting us all, Miss Ozmund, and as important as your business is—to us all—there is simply no feasible way for the military, or even my people, to intervene. Let me explain.
“Business keeps everything spinning and going, to put it simply. We exchange, trade, bargain, that sort of thing. My company creates things, and your company transports those things and their merchants all over. If I may speak as the UCM’s advocate, security for your company would only be in demand for those areas of the greatest…well, I don’t wish to say the greatest profit, but you do understand where I’m coming from, don’t you? Exploration is one thing, but suggesting that you open a major line where there is no need of one is rather a waste. Let’s say the pirates attack us around Strategos, and the police put a stop to them. All well and good, and everyone on the right side of the fence is happy. You’ve earned more than you spent, I should think. Now let’s say they attack just outside…hmm, Kelthos Prime. Oh, I am not
referring to any specific, precedented attack, Miss Ozmund; I am simply being hypothetical. Let’s say our police stop them again and everything is all right, but since hardly anything lives out there these days, it wouldn’t make sense to spend all that money just to ferry supplies for a few thousand people.
“Please don’t give me that look, Miss Ozmund. I daresay I’ve been at this longer than you have, and I know that sometimes we businesspeople make cruel decisions. But think about it rationally for a moment, and I’m sure you’ll agree. I’m not against exploration—and if you do explore, I’m sure there are hundreds of thousands of mercenaries you could hire for protection. I’m just saying that as long as there’s no centralized form of economy, or any significant apex of industry in the area, the UCM cannot help yet. I say ‘yet’ because naturally, people will congregate there in time, and perhaps our duties will lighten in the future, and we can send further aid. My recommendation for the present is as follows, and keep in mind this is a suggestion only. You can wait for the Director and negotiate with her, or else you can hire this unknown company and…hope for the best, or you can go out on your own and…handle the issue personally. There are pirates out there who are willing to kill other pirates, and most of them work cheap. Please excuse me,” he said in a low voice as he glanced at his watch, “but I have another appointment coming up, and I do not wish to treat them any differently than I treated you. Farewell, Miss Ozmund, and may you find good fortune.”
“Thank you for your time.” She finished the tea and took a deep, cleansing breath. She waited until he had left before muttering under her breath, “No help at all. Figures.”
……
“Looks like there’s nothing left,” Teleah sighed as the Dauntless drew closer to the derelict ship. “I’m not picking up any signs of life. How long do you think it’s been drifting?”
“Not long,” her sister answered. “Those blast marks look fresh, and there’s still some debris flying out. We must’ve just missed the raid.”
“Vimmy did mention an increase in pirate activity around this area,” Teleah mused. “Do you think we should explore it?”
“But if you can’t find any life…and if it was hit by pirates…”
“But who, and how long ago? Ah, come here and take a look.” The twins stepped aside as Miracle peered out the monitor. They only recently came across this dead vessel, and since it was on their way to Saigrim, a sight like this would draw concern.
“The Majestic Hand? I’ll have Herut and Shana look into it and see where it came from. Perhaps it was ferrying the Nail of Saigrim, or perhaps whoever attacked it tried to interrogate the crew about its location. We are almost there, so…”
“Do you think we have another rival?” Amy rubbed her chin thoughtfully, although she really had no serious doubt.
“We’ll find out once the girls ascertain its location and cargo. Are there any survivors?” The twins shook their heads and Miracle quietly dismissed herself, though she seemed awfully concerned. The Nail of Saigrim had a lot of historical and sentimental value, but wouldn’t fetch anybody riches or fame. Naja would be disappointed if she learned it had been taken by pirates, but other than that…
“So what did they say?” called a voice, jarring Miracle’s thoughts away. She looked over and noticed the impatient Elshyrin glaring, arms crossed and eyes aflame. Miracle paled and attempted to smile.
“Well, the ship’s name is the Majestic Hand. The twins think it was attacked by pirates, and we probably have a new rival on our hands…”
“Pirates?!” Naja screeched out loud and roared with laughter, slapping her scaly leg several times. “Serves those Saigrim bastards right! Pirates! Sss-hahahahaha!! I hope they got chopped up and squished into goo! Oh, you don’t know what I’m laughing about, do you?” She wiped a tear of joy from her eye and loosened up; few people had ever seen Naja in such a good mood. “Well, long story short, Jelrin has a long-standing allegiance with Saigrim, and sometimes some of the dowdier members of my race are arranged to marry their asshole nobles. It’s a Kingdom, you know. Anyhoo, when I was exiled from my home world, my fiancé arranged for a ship called the Majestic Hand to keep an eye on me, if they could. I thought I had lost them awhile ago, but…they just now…oh gods, it’s too funny! They were blown to tiny little pieces! Sss-aaahhahahaha!!” She roared even louder and almost fell down; Miracle didn’t quite know what to say.
“Uh, your…fiancé? I never knew you were getting married.”
“Forced to get married,” Naja corrected as she stood up. She sighed and shook all the giggles from her system. “Almost all the couples on Jelrin are decided by arranged marriage. It’s all about power, politics, economy, growth, that sort of shit. I come from a pretty hot family myself, so I was big shit back home. Anyway, my folks wanted to hook me up with this anachronistic asshole—I mean, he wasn’t evil or anything, he just wanted to keep me chained up at home, carrying around his brood like some animal. A few bimbos go for that, but I wanted nothing to do with it, so I sort of…caused a scene. Well, I made myself repulsive in the worst possible way, and here I am. I told you I didn’t want to leave this ship, right? That’s the reason why.”
“That wasn’t really a long story short,” Miracle muttered. Naja cringed venomously but decided to let the remark slide. She hadn’t meant to come off as chatty; her anger simply overpowered her restraint.
“Yeah, well, now ya know. I really don’t like it here, but it’s the lesser of two evils. Anyway, if you can find a way to keep me outta that marriage, I’d…you know…I’d appreciate it. You are Dr. Miracle, after all.” Amy laughed melodiously and waved her hand dismissively. People always got the wrong impression about that name of hers!
“I assure you, the name is just a coincidence. It actually started out as a Latin word—Mirari, I think. My ancestors were astrologers and so the name makes sense, even though they never had any real powers. My family had it changed in the mid-19th century and it’s pretty much stayed the same for six centuries. All I can do is analyze literature and go over the finer points of religion.”
“Well, even so,” Naja shrugged as she walked away helplessly, “small help is better than no help at all. I’m gonna go have another laugh—but maybe we should chase those pirates down.”
“All this fuss over a trinket?” The Acheron sisters stepped out of the cockpit, rubbing their hands on a washcloth, all four eyes leveled at Naja. “For someone so unenthusiastic about this expedition, you sure can be obsessive.”
“I was figuring that caveman fiancé of mine would bargain with it,” she answered, casually resting her hands on her head. “The Nail of Saigrim’s pretty big shit on Jelrin. He
might just call of the whole damn wedding if I gave it to him. It’s worth more than my sorry ass right now.” The sisters sighed wearily, exchanged a look of caution, and glanced over at Miracle.
“What do you suggest? Naja’s impulsiveness may very well kill somebody.”
“But she did ask for us to find it,” Miracle replied softly. “If we turn down her request, it would be like turning down your dreams as well. If you can live with that, we’ll find another destination.” Amy might have been a mousy, soft-spoken, unassuming woman (with a limp, no less), but her eyes glimmered with unfathomable strength and conviction; it was as if she was Naja herself, pleading her case with an Elshyrin passion. Naja never expected anybody to stand up for her like that, least of all this humble woman, but she was glad for it and gained a new respect for Amy. Of course, she became much happier when Kay and Tee reluctantly returned to the cockpit and set a new course.
“She’ll owe us for this,” Kay mumbled.
“Oh yeah,” Tee grunted—“big time!”
……
Aseria and Lillianne were in bed together when they heard the news. Feeling tired of playing the coy, unresponsive maiden, Aseria had decided to be proactive and launched herself at Lillianne right as she was undressing. The spontaneity and aggressiveness of her actions caught the other woman by surprise, so much so that she decided, just this one time, to hand over all control to the sensual dark elf. Although their exhilarating sexual escapade had thankfully not been interrupted, they had just settled down and were cooing to each other softly when somebody burst through their door.
“Hey! Guess what! We found some pirates and they stole a treasure and we’re going after them and you’re VERY naked, aren’t you? Hey, what happened? Did one of Valti’s creatures spew a corrosive that eats away at people’s clothes? Oh no, what if Chandra gets it? What if she uses it on me? What if she DOESN’T?”
WHOOM!! Poor Kyrie was thrust out of the room faster than you can say “awkward”.
“Oww…how rude! It’s not as if I asked to join them…but hey, maybe I should’ve.”
“Shut up, Kyrie! And shut the door!”
“B-b-but the pirates!”
“FUCK THE PIRATES!!” they screamed. Aseria chanted a spell to shut the door, leaving Kyrie bewildered and alone in the hallway. An idea struck her just then and her mouth stretched out into a beautiful crimson smile.
“Ya know, that’s not a bad idea either!” She bounced off gaily, singing and laughing to herself as some rather kinky ideas started going through that twisted mind of hers.
A few women onboard were familiar with the various pirate gangs that terrorized the wild frontiers of the galaxy: the Sharks, the Devil Hunters, the Green Eagles, the Misfortunes, the Crisis Bringers, the Deep Shadows, the Ruins, and the Black Diamonds, just to name a few. As the Dauntless sailed beyond the ruined Majestic Hand, the Acheron sisters took telescopic
photos, and identified several small, withered roses in the debris. Yenae, who was best acquainted with both sides of the law, crossed her arms defensively and frowned.
“The Dead Roses,” she sighed.
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard of them,” Valti said. “They throw dead roses onto any ship they attack, and their leader supposedly kisses her victims before running them through. I forgot what her ship’s name is, though.”
“It’s the Bloody Dove,” Yenae answered solemnly. She was now so far removed from her usual perky self that some people were showing concern, including Alala. She had never seen the horned prankster acting so serious, and wondered what sort of ploy she was brewing up. Yenae sighed and shook her head slowly. “Considering the condition of that wreckage, they can’t be very far ahead. We’ll probably catch up.”
“You sound worried,” Valti observed.
“I can’t be confident with every encounter. So why are we after them again?”
“They stole a treasure I wanted for myself!” Naja hissed sharply. “That’s reason enough to send an armada after them!”
“That’s reason enough to lock you up,” Yenae muttered. Alala laughed loudest as Naja shrieked and cursed; she met Yenae’s eyes and was paralyzed for a moment as her tormentor’s gaze burned into her brain.
“H-hey, come on, you gonna wimp out on us just cuz’ we’re chasing some flowery pirates?” Yenae’s tension loosened and she smiled with love once more. She had entertained several doubts, but hearing encouragement from the woman she cherished the most made her feel like everything was going to be fine.
“Of course not! You know me better than that, buttercup.” Alala naturally fumed and swiped at the air as Yenae went into action. “All right, ladies, prepare for an attack! And Naja, if you want that piece of junk, you’re gonna have to work like hell to earn it!”
“Are you giving me an order?” she snarled. Yenae shot her a deadly look that made the proud Elshyrin respect her very suddenly. “Oh, uh, yes, I see your point. Right! Just don’t you hold me back when I get going!”
“Captain, ship approaching fast off the portside stern! Independent class, registered out of Helios 9! It’s marked as the Dauntless!”
“Never heard of it,” Captain Rose muttered. “Call in and tell her what she’s up against, not that there’s really a point. T’wouldn’t be an accident for a ship to chase us like that!”
“Sending transmission. …Uh, Captain? They’ve responded: ‘Surrender the Nail of Saigrim and you’ll be spared. Our thanks for scrapping the Hand.’”
“Friend or foe?” Rose grinned. “Veer to portside and open up our irons. Tell em’ we ain’t got the Nail and blow em’ a few hot kisses—that’ll send those Plutonian pussies scampering.”
“Aye, ma’am.” The crew held on tight as the Bloody Dove turned around, aiming its impressive salvo straight at the approaching ship. Once the second message was sent out, a handful of cannons spewed their payload, scorching the rival ship lightly. The Dead Rose could be merciful if she felt like it, but she was a ghastly enemy and few people ever survived to challenge her twice. The Dauntless resumed its course, though, gaining very quickly now that the Dove had slowed down.
“Another message!” cried the communications officer. “It says, ‘by the honor of the Elshyrin race, I accept your challenge. Prepare for battle! A pity we couldn’t be friends; I owe you a debt for destroying the Hand. May the best woman win!’”
“Perhaps our kisses were a little too passionate!” Rose laughed. “I never thought I’d meet a proud Elshyrin in an independent ship, but what the hell? It’s a big galaxy. Right—tell Peggy to let loose and cripple the mindless snake! We’ll board her once she’s beached and get right down to business!” The officer phoned the ammunitions supervisor and relayed the message; she then gave her Captain a weary expression.
“Ma’am, she keeps insisting her name isn’t Peggy. She wonders why you keep calling her that. Personally, I think you’re both brats.”
“No sex for you this week, Duchess,” Rose muttered playfully. “Tell her I’ll make it up to her if she opens the god-damned broadsides! They’re gaining!”
“Aye,” Duchess sighed. A moment after the message was relayed, the Bloody Dove’s artillery burst with explosives; the shots sailed through space and slapped the approaching Dauntless soundly. A second and third salvo was unleashed, but except for a few delays and a brief moment of discombobulating, their rivals continued to live up to their name. Rose cursed, but not because the other ship was gaining so rapidly.
“Damn. Why don’t they fight back? Are they gonna ram us? Torch, you got anything on this ship?”
“No ma’am, not yet. Oh, wait, get this: I think the owner is Dr. Miracle.” Rose’s face turned ashen as she raised her eyebrow and took a deep breath. Even she had heard that name before, in her younger days, when space was wilder and freer and more dangerous. Although she didn’t have many facts, Rose heard plenty of rumors, and if even a handful of them were true…
“By the devil’s hooves,” she muttered. “Ha! So now I’m locking horns with the legendary Miracle, am I? All right, ladies, time to show your worth! If they be meaning to ram us, I say let’s divert their course and have them ram something else! Patches, make a sharp forty-five degree angle on the ventral side when the Dauntless is a hundred K away! Torch, before she changes course, release a ballast and take us away! Tell Peggy to—pardon me, ladies, tell our dear Henrietta to open fire on her belly once the smoke clears! That ought to show this Miracle person just who he’s up against. With a will!”
“Aye, ma’am!” The Bloody Dove fired a few rounds more to distract their rivals, then the ship lurched downwards—that is, going beneath the Dauntless—and opened the ballast, which hurled explosives into space. As expected, the other ship couldn’t veer off course in time, but they nearly broke every law of physics trying, and Rose had to give credit to the pilot.
“Damn, what a waste!” she exclaimed as the bombs went off (and Henrietta fired the cannons). “I hate blasting good ships like that. I hope that pilot made it, whoever they are. I’ve not seen the like in many a year! All right, ladies, time to turn this vessel around and come up on their starboard side! You know the drill: loot treasure, kidnap the pretty women, kill those who resist, the whole show. I’ve got dibs on the pilot, though! Damn, but if they’re as good in bed as they are…HOLY WHALES OF NEPTUNE, she’s headed straight for us!!”
The Dauntless, protected by its Orihalcum alloy armor and guided by the skills of the Acheron sisters, had turned its destruction into an attack, and had actually plowed through explosives and shots to meet the Bloody Dove. It looked like a giant slab of metal and machinery come soaring down to crush them all; the crew frantically tried to lean out of the way, and nearly depleted their ammunition defending themselves (and in a pinch, a cannon can alter the course of
a vehicle in space). But the Bloody Dove was on the wrong side, and it required time to move out of the way. The best Rose could hope for would be to steer enough to port or starboard (Patches was making for starboard) to allow a berth between the two ships, so that they would not be smashed when the two collided. If only Rose knew just how frantic everyone was aboard the rival ship, she might not have sweated bullets herself.
“Gracious!” Vimmy groaned as she was tossed asunder. “Those blasted Acheron sisters are…WHOOAA…ugh, they’re going to hear about this when I…WAAAHH…there’s bloody nothing to hold onto, now I know what my clothes feel like when they go through the drier…AAAHH, I’d give up a fraction of my portion for a restraint—or a cushion, oh, my fragile…YAAAH…my fragile body—urp!”
Rose wanted to be macho and not flinch, but she couldn’t help squeezing her eyes shut as the Dauntless narrowly missed her beloved Bloody Dove. The space between them was so narrow that the two ships seemed to tremble in fear as the friction shook them. She was forced to pause for a moment and catch her breath; her heart was jumping and her skin felt cold and prickly. She gasped and called her communications officer.
“Duchess, status report!”
“We’re not damaged, Captain, but we’re down to auxiliary ammo. Currently the Dauntless is turning around and making for another attack. The damage to their vessel seems to be minimal.”
“I’ve confirmed it,” Torch added. “It’s just scorched and dented, ma’am. That’s some serious shit they got plating that sucker. Permission to release another ballast?”
“I ain’t trying a stunt like that again,” Rose huffed. “If we could just board them, we’d have em’ by the throat, but they didn’t even slow down when they were ramming us. Those are some seriously insane people there, and if they wanna be friends, maybe we should play things cool.”
“Are you giving up, Captain?” Duchess said. Rose cast her a roguish look and waved her finger.
“I ain’t dead yet, am I? The Dead Rose can do far worse damage to her enemies in person. Besides, I’d like get on this Miracle guy’s good side. Tell em’ they’ve won and we’re ready to be friends.”
“That Elshyrin’s going to bitch about the Nail of Saigrim, you know,” Patches called out as Duchess sent the transmission.
“So let the bitch bitch. We don’t have it. The Hand sure as hell didn’t have it, unless one of you screwed up.”
“No, we searched carefully. What would we do with it anyway?”
“Good point. Well, raise the white flag, ladies, and pray to Sappho that there’s at least one pretty woman onboard.” When both transmissions were sent, a live video feed opened up, and Rose got her first look at the pilot, the Elshyrin, and the entity she assumed to be Dr. Miracle.
“So you have decided to cast aside your pride and admit defeat. It truly would have been a waste to continue this meaningless—OUCH!”
“Fuck off, Rachel, I’m talking to them! So what in the hell do you mean when you say you don’t have the Nail?!”
“I meant what I said,” Rose replied, feeling bewildered. So was Miracle’s first name Rachel? She smelled a ruse. “We don’t have it. We stripped the Majestic Hand bare and only
found the usual swag. Hell, if you really wanted it that badly, we would’ve given it to you by now. We ain’t got no use for something like that.”
“I’m disinclined to believe you!” Naja screamed. Rose shrugged casually.
“Believe what you will. Anyway, I admire your spunk, and you look pretty hot for a snake. Where’s your pilot?” Kayleigh and Teleah revealed themselves wordlessly, expecting a shocked reaction. Obviously they had no idea who they were addressing! “My-my,” Rose purred, “how lovely. You really kick ass, ladies. I wonder if I could seduce you away from Miracle and enlist you here. I guarantee you’ll be in the best of company, and we’ll treat you like queens.” Her crew cheered and whistled proudly, underscoring Rose’s promises. The Acheron sisters inhaled anxiously and even looked like they were considering the deal.
“We’ll have to pass for now, as tempting as it is!”
“Just please don’t attack us again. It may not look like it, but you really did a number on us.”
“Before this serpent goes off the deep end, would you know where this Nail might be?”
“She claims it’s going to be used to break her out of a bad marriage.” Rose grinned affectionately and laughed; she was starting to like this eclectic crew.
“I’d definitely give it to you if that were the case. I’m always advocating feminist freedom. I hear they keep it on Saigrim’s moon, but that’s not a guarantee. I’ll bet if you sniff around, something’s bound to show up…although I’d much prefer you sniff around my ship.” Her crew bellowed with laughter and the Acheron sisters blushed before being forced away from the feed. Naja stared at Rose for a long time before finally giving her a bow of respect.
“Well, you’ve earned my admiration, and my thanks. If you ever see any more envoys sent by that troglodyte fiancé of mine—“
“That will be enough, you selfish Elshyrin! How dare you push the magnanimous Dr. Miracle!!”
“Didn’t I just tell you to fuck off, Rachel?! They’re not stupid enough to buy that smoke-and-mirror routine!”
“And what does that say about you, Naja—or anyone else aboard this ship? Meanie!”
“Brat!”
“Selfish snake!”
“Bimbo!”
“Psycho!”
“Airhead!”
“Please excuse them,” said the Acheron sisters before they closed transmission. Rose and her crew stood staring for a few moments before composing themselves.
“This was certainly an unforgettable experience!” exclaimed the Captain. “Okay, ladies, get off those pretty asses and get back to work! We ain’t gonna let them hog all the fun! Set a new destination and re-supply the cannons! With a will!”
“Aye, ma’am!”
The crew of the Dauntless and the Bloody Dove parted for now, but surely in the grand scheme of things, another meeting was not out of the question!
Preview of next chapter:
Kay: I think you like Rose.
Tee: You were the one drooling!
Kay: But nobody’s ever flirted with me like that before…
Tee: I think she was flirting with me!
Chandra: Ladies, you’re both wrong! The HLS machine is irresistible! Rose is in love with—
Shana: Me!
All: (stunned silence)
Shana: Uh, yeah, maybe not. Anyway, in the next chapter, the military sets a trap for Rose’s crew! Amazed expression! Determination to save our new friends!
Kay: And who knows? Even we might get lucky!
Tee: She does seem to have a large crew with indiscriminate tastes.
Chandra: Mmm, tastes…
Shana: Please stay tuned for “She’s a Pirate: the colossal space battle!” Hey, do you think I really have a chance?
Chandra: Of course you do—with me, I mean!
Shana: Blushes suggestively!
Herut: Nuuuuuuu!!
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