I am a machine who has forgotten her soul Or am I a soul that dwells in the golem Lost in transition from an untimely death Confused in the void of celestial dreams I live—or do I live?—as a monstrous being Neither human with feelings and irrational thought Nor machine with wires and silicon logic I stand on the line that divides two truths But the side I will fall on is anybody's guess ---------- Technomancer Systems online. Good morning, Shalis. Activate carbon scanning? (Y) Carbon scanning activated. No signs of irregularities. Carbon scanning complete. Activate nutrient solution? (Y) Solution activated. Bodily intake of vitamins will result in a 32 increase of activity for four hours. Activate DGIS? (Daily Global Information Systems) (Y) DGIS activated. Information downloading. Nutrient solution process complete. Download complete. Begin silicon scanning? (Y) Scanning database for irregularities. Warning, anomaly found in Section 853, identified as Class-R virus. This system will automatically vaccinate itself against any virus below Class F. Activating vaccination. Warning, anomaly found in Section 4, identified as Class-Q virus. Activating vaccination. Warning, four anomalies found in Section 186, identified as Class-B virus. This system is currently unable to automatically vaccinate itself against any virus above Class F. Proceed with manual vaccination? (Y) Confirmed. One second passed. Manual vaccination complete. Silicon scanning complete. All system anomalies have been eliminated. This system is now fully operational. Please enter a command. Shalis Torth checked her internal clock to see the time. It was 6:00:05; five seconds had passed since she woke up. She began her day's work and noted, with what used to be called "pride", that she was doing pretty well for a girl with no arms. ......... "She is working for Enteragon Industries, and has been for five years. Lately, the more human side of her has begun thinking on its own during off hours. She cannot help but debate with herself. Only a human mind could have multiple solutions to every problem. She mostly contemplates her present circumstances, such as how she became the so-called monster she is today." "But it was in the papers two years ago, everybody's heard of it." Rancor crossed her arms and gave Mr. White a sideways glance. "The assailants were thugs hired by a rival engineering company to throw a wrench in Enteragon's progress. It was a miracle she survived. How could she not know any of this?" "She has begun to suspect...otherwise." As usual, nobody had any idea what the eerie man was talking about, so Kagemusha did the polite thing by asking him to clarify. "Stop wasting our time with your nonsense, you freak, and just tell it to us straight." "All in good time." "No, now." "Miss Celestino..." Kagemusha growled in defeat, and let him finish his thoughts. "Thank you. Now. Miss Torth has come to two possible conclusions about her current situation, but these ideas are inconsequential to your mission. I would like to have her here, if possible. She would be a great asset, and I know she is seeking the one thing that every other human seeks, whether they admit it or not." "And that would be?" He tipped his hat to Marissa. "Completeness. Wholeness. She just lacks it more than any other person, so naturally..." "She would fit right in with us." "Exactly." Marissa sighed out long and hard, but the man in white had a point. The Lost were but four; having somebody who could find members easily would be a huge asset. According to the data on Shalis Torth, alias "the Technomancer", the woman had nearly been killed two years ago by thugs who appeared to have been from a rival company. She was barely saved by the secret technology of her home company, Enteragon Industries, but she had to undergo an unusual transformation in order to live. One of the many side affects from the operation was her ability to communicate with computers and other highly complex pieces of machinery, thus her alias. She was a priceless part of Enteragon, but Mr. White wanted her for his own "company". Rancor asked, "Do you think she'll refuse? Aside from the obvious physical aspects of her life, she's got one hell of a setup. Enteragon pays her more in a week than most of us make in a month, and she has everything she could want, plus a nearly-unlimited access to information, both public and private. Do you really think this desire to ‘be whole', as you put it, will make her rethink her position?" "It made all of you rethink yours." There was no arguing against his logic; the group knew of their shortcomings and how they had spent fruitless years trying to find ways to fill in each bottomless void. Did Mr. White really have the capability to ease the pain of the lost, to help them home, and to make them realize far greater potential than other, "ordinary" people? Hope was all they had to cling to: it could bloom into a flower or turn into a knife. WASTE. "I agree," said Kagemusha, who oddly enough had shown considerably less hostility towards the silent, malevolent child-girl Disintegrator than anyone else. Perhaps she knew Disintegrator could destroy her with a thought, or maybe the girl was so ugly and pitiable that even a heartless monster could show them mercy. "This is all a waste of time," she continued. "We don't need anybody else; we're quite fine on our own. Besides, any more freaks and I'll take an acid bath." BITCH! "Shut up," she muttered. KILL! "Settle down, you two," said Marissa. "We shouldn't fight each other. I agree with White when he says we need somebody like Torth, and I think you two have a point in that we're not sure if we can trust anybody like her." "I didn't say we couldn't trust her," said Kagemusha coolly, "I just said that we shouldn't even bother." IGNORE. "There, see? She is capable of rational thought." BITCH. "Whatever." "You are all forgetting who is in charge here," said Mr. White, a trace of a threat beneath his icy smile. "I brought you in and vowed to fill in those holes of yours. You have a home, and as...unusual as you believe your fellows are, you do have a sort of family here. A real sorority of people just like you. The least you could do is cooperate with me and my very reasonable demands. Hmm?" "I've got no problem if your demands are reasonable, and Marissa seconds that," said Rancor. "Hell, I'll even do a few wacky things on the side. It's not like danger is all that new to me—or for that matter, affective." BELIEVE? "You mean should we believe Mr. White?" It was sometimes difficult trying to determine what the one-word wonder was thinking, but she usually confirmed her thoughts with a Yes-nod or a No-shake. Disintegrator nodded; Rancor admitted it was a good thought. "In that," she guessed, "should we believe him when he says this Technomancer woman will come along with us? Well, what do you think?" she asked of him. "I think you will have no problems," he said confidently. Rancor sighed heavily and crossed her arms. "If you say so. You haven't led us that much astray since I came here, and I do admit I'm better off here than outside. All right, I'm in." "As usual, if you're involved with anything, I must come along for your safety." "Thanks, Riss." Rancor smiled warmly and took Marissa's hand as they clasped them together in unity. The two of them looked over to the other half of their team and gave them a silent "Well?" BURDEN? "You might be," said Marissa gently. "Sorry." COMING! Kagemusha snorted. "What for? You don't have mobility, you can barely communicate, you're prone to tantrums, and you don't exactly have much self-control." "Sounds familiar," muttered Rancor under her breath. Kagemusha gave her a hateful glare. Disintegrator used her frail right hand to pull on the shadow girl's cloak, getting her attention and probably saving the pink-haired girl. REFUSE? "Now where would you get that idea?" DO? "I dunno, have a look around. Try disintegrating some ants or something." BITCH! "Whatever." "So you're going?" She shrugged. "I may as well. Better than staying here with Mr. White and the freak." Disintegrator screamed something unintelligible, but Mr. White said nothing—probably because he was nowhere to be found. He was the last thing on the girls' minds, though, as they left the compound and took a bus to Enteragon Industires. ......... Systems online. Good morning, Shalis. Activate carbon scanning? (N) Activate nutrient solution? (N) Warning: if proper solution is not activated in two hours, bodily activity will decrease at a rate of 5 per hour. Activate DGIS? (Daily Global Information Systems) (N) Begin silicon scanning? (N) Warning: this system has automatically detected five new anomalies. If they are not properly eliminated, this system will dysfunction in two hours. This system is currently not fully operational. If you wish to reactivate silicon scan or any other functions, you may enter them in as commands at any time. Please enter a command. Shalis Torth ignored the warnings as she covered her face with her hands and wished for the nth time in two years that she could weep. Who cares if the system goes down? Who cares if I go down? I'm already ruined; I'm just adhering to the delusion that there are parts of me that still function. I'm destroyed, I just haven't turned to dust and blown away yet. It's only a matter of time. Shalis returned to the computer, sighed, and emptily tapped the keys with her fingers, or whatever passed for them. Activate nutrient solution. Activate DGIS. Activate silicon scanning. Confirmed. Processing, please wait... ......... "I'm sorry, ladies, but no such employee works here. In fact, I've never even heard the name Shalis Torth before." "Are you sure?" "Why would I lie?" he said stubbornly. "Look, I'll even let you access the terminals yourself so you can see. Look." The man pointed them to a computer database, and clicked on Employee Records. He let the girls seek as much as they wanted—they tried looking up Torth, Shalis Torth, Technomancer, even things related to the attack two years prior—but as the receptionist said, there was nothing about her, nor even anything remotely close. Kagemusha rolled her eyes and gave up, telling her companions that "I'll be outside in the dark waiting for you morons", and left just like that. Marissa and Rancor each gave the other a look of concern. "What do you know, Mr. White was wrong." "It's probably not the first time." "Do you think he made all that up just to get us here, or away from the compound?" "I don't see how; the papers ran that story all right and had photos. He'd really have to be creative to fool a person after that." "Excuse me," said the receptionist, "but who is Mr. White?" "You could say...our caretaker, maybe? The guy that sent us here?" "I don't recall that name..." "It's not his real name, just something he lets us call him, apparently because he wears nothing but white." "Oh, a man in white?" The receptionist's face flickered in recognition, and he typed in several thing on the computer, probably passwords. "Why didn't you say so? That's an entirely different story, then. Okay, here it is—I'll give you clearance to go up there." To the amazement of the girls, a sudden branch of information regarding the Technomancer had came up on the screen, and shortly after that, the man gave them a special card key each. The women gawked. "So she really is here?" "Mm-hmm, but the general public's not supposed to know it. It's one of those things that we like to keep under wraps. Surely you understand." "More than you know," they muttered. The man apologized for the inconvenience and personally volunteered to go out and retrieve their friend, but the girls told him not to bother—unless of course, he was feeling suicidal. The receptionist happily stayed, and the girls happily left. They had to wonder why mentioning Mr. White enabled them to get into restricted areas, but no sense in spoiling their good luck. The Technomancer was in a room that didn't exist, on a floor that had never been built, guarded by doors and systems that were all made up—as far as the general public knew, of course. In reality, she was permanently stationed in Room 625, on the 62nd floor of the Enteragon building, nearly the very top. Their two card keys got them through all kinds of nasty security measures, including several heavily-armed guards and equally impressive steel security doors. The girls entertained morbid thoughts about their target and why she was kept so secretive as they proceeded through the fabricated hallway. "Here it is," said Marissa, "Room 625." She swiped her card and Rancor swiped hers, and the door opened for them both. They pushed themselves in and saw a woman around their age, seated with her back to them, facing several average-sized monitors and one very large screen easily thrice her size. Her fingers whirled around two keyboards—amazingly, she had four arms, and used all four to hack away at the twin boards—thus creating, destroying, altering, and renewing information on four levels. She looked like she was in a trance, almost, and didn't stop when the girls tried getting her attention. "Today is the first day of the week," said the Technomancer, her voice hollow and metallic, like the inside of a clean pipe. "I do not welcome visitors on the first day of the week unless there is an emergency. Please come back on the appropriated days." "We're not visitors, we came here to talk." "All non-personnel are visitors, please come back on the appropriated days." "Then it's an emergency," they improvised. "I was not made aware of any significant emergency requiring visitors; thus, it does not exist. Please leave or you will be shot." To prove her threat real, she touched the second keyboard thrice, activating two gun turrets high above. Rancor regarded them nonchalantly, Marissa wondered if she could talk to Torth with her mind. "We were sent here by Mr. White," said the former. "Do you know who that is?" "I know many people by that name. I have access to human population files." "We're talking about the man in white, the one who has many names." "There are thousands of people like that." "The receptionist downstairs let us through here because of that name." "He is a feeble man. Please leave or you will be shot. This is your last warning." "Guns don't affect me," said Rancor. She nodded at Marissa, who stepped back as the bullets came down. Rancor's thick skin-armor rippled and layered, saving her from even getting scratched. The shells bounced off, harmless as wads of paper, and fell in a pile on the floor. Technomancer still did not move; she kept her eyes on the monitors. "Your skills are admirable, but I have already pinpointed your weakness. I can close this room off and fill it with toxic gas. I can go for hours without oxygen, but I doubt you can say the same." "Look, we just want to know if you're interested in leaving this place and joining us. We're a small organization, but we want to reach out and—" "Leave?" Technomancer finally wheeled around, putting her work on hold as she showed Rancor her face. Rancor winced: although they were about the same age, the two women couldn't have been more different. The four arms Technomancer boasted had somehow retracted, and now she sat with nothing but invisible amputated limbs. A generator unit made of thin but durable metal was bolted onto her collarbone and shoulders, with a control panel above and between her breasts. She had a vertical scar across her throat, and if one looked very carefully, one would see her mechanical heart and eyes. She was small and thin, but the entire room could have been her body. "Oh my god..." "Leave?" said the Technomancer again, and all the monitors in the room typed out her words, or played images. "How do you think I can leave? I'm tied to these machines; I can't leave. If I go, half the city will suffer from the loss of support. If you want to be responsible for that, by all means, pick me up and carry me out of that door. I doubt your place has any better facilities." "...I..." "Something wrong?" Marissa poked her head in the room and gasped as she got a good look at the Technomancer. Shalis Torth snorted and made a small gesture with her arm. "Oh, like you're any prettier? You there, with the pink hair, do you like being the tallest girl in the room? And you, the albino! Feel kind of isolated from all the pink, brown, red, and yellow in the world, don't you? Don't look at me. Go away. I can have this whole floor gassed if necessary; I'm the heart of Enteragon Industries." Marissa and Rancor gave each other defeated looks, feeling déjà vu as another possible candidate slipped from their grasp. Why had Mr. White sent them on all those missions if all they did was fail? Would they ever convince anybody to come with them? "As you wish," said Marissa, taking several peaceful steps back. "We're sorry to have disturbed you." "I'm already disturbed," said Torth. She waited until both women were cleared from the room before closing the door and resuming her work. Rancor snorted and crossed her arms. "This is really pissing me off." "I know, but what can we do? What can we do? I feel so helpless." Rancor sighed and drew Marissa in for a hug. "Don't blame yourself, we did the best we could. Apparently, people like their own lives better than any other. I'm just glad you and I were able to meet." "Yeah, only because our lives were so crummy." They shared a weak laugh and, feeling defeated, walked to the elevator and left Technomancer and Enteragon to their businesses. Outside, they were mildly surprised to see Kagemusha still waiting for them, but she had fallen asleep doing so. They roused her politely, and the girl gladly went along with them as they took the bus back home. Two days later... "Does this suit you?" She looked at the displays before her, touching them gently with her artificial hands. There were no real nerves left, just sensors that relayed a faux feeling of touch to her brain, so it felt different coming from a machine than her real hands. Still, she couldn't deny how pleased she was. "Yes, it does. How did you come about such technology?" He lowered his head and smiled darkly. "I have my ways. And my dear, do not think you are restricted to this room. Please feel free to wander about, get some fresh air, take in the scenery. Maybe you could even make a friend." Shalis Torth couldn't squeeze her eyes shut, not anymore, but she furrowed a brow as substitution and smiled sadly. "I would like that. You say those two I saw the other day are here?" "Yes, and two others." "Good. I need to apologize to them. Lately I've become...such a machine." She grinned and deactivated her arms, fazing them out of their holographic existence, and winked. "Know what I mean?" ---------- May the Lost find their way home, wherever it is, whenever it may be. In the next chapter, there is a woman who cannot even walk without causing disaster. Naked, alone, unloved, and isolated, she wanders the world in search of a cure, a purpose, anything at all. Perhaps this is the first soul who will listen to the Lost as they reach out to her—or perhaps more disaster is in store, in the next chapter, "Venom".
Back to Champions Index - Back to Original Fiction Shoujo-Ai Fanfiction