"Mira and Usha" Usha Krishnan didn't know it just yet, but she was in love. She took history class because her life's goal demanded an extensive knowledge of the past—not only America's, but the world's. Janna Raulson was a good teacher, and controlled the class well, even with the likes of Ana Lu in it. At first, Usha was the perfect student in her history class, and became exemplary well before September rolled around, but something very odd and unexpected distracted her around the turn of the month, so much so that her grades slipped very quietly. This distraction shared Raulson's class with her, in the form of a woman slightly younger than she. Some people would've found it silly, or unusual, or ironic, even surprising. Usha couldn't confirm or deny anything because she, well, had no idea—yet. Krishnan took science class because she knew her dream job required a wide expertise in the world's sciences. Emma McGowen, as eccentric as she was, was a kind and helpful teacher whom very few students didn't like, although many in turn couldn't make sense of her. Her experiments bordered on insanity, some (Usha believed) simply constructed to satisfy McGowen's insatiably mad curiosity. She still managed to form a tight, strict class, and Usha would've been top contender had she not been there. Yes, the distraction from Raulson's was here as well, and what made it more shocking was that she was better at it than Usha. Usha relished the challenge and put forth her whole heart, as she had done nearly every day when she met this annoying, pestering, wonderful nuisance of a girl. Very few teachers had caused Usha to work; this unassuming pauper from some corner of the world, though she hardly looked special, had so stirred the copper-skinned Krishnan that she felt like a fire brought back to life by new fuel. The woman was a rival, no doubts about it, but Usha deeply respected her because of how she was able to draw out her own strengths and drive. She even loved her—but she didn't know that yet. Ms. Keeping could see it; half of her psychology class could see it. That woman had taken it for fun, just like she had taken every other extracurricular activity. For fun. Just for entertainment. Usha took psychology to better understand the human mind; she deemed the time spent in there a wise investment for her future career. Ambassador, senator, diplomat, perhaps a seat in the UN... Usha saw her destination and took her path very carefully, but that woman... that blasted girl... she was just enjoying the walk. It broke Usha's heart and made her cry inwardly and respect her so deeply, that it could have been love if only it had been given just the right push—but, ah, she was unaware of it. Oh, the people would talk. They already talked. She was president of the GSA, a club of young men and women who met off campus to support each other and discuss issues (it was not a place for people to hook up, though some had taken it that way). Being the leader, many saw Usha as the most likely candidate for bisexuality, if not direct homosexuality itself. Though leading the Gay and Straight Alliance, she made no comment about her sexual choices—but only one month after meeting her would-be rival, fate again struck Krishnan a blow, and she would come to a decision—a very eventual decision, long and slow in the making, and frankly, quite scary. Torn between watching the soccer team's after-school practice game and attending her beloved organization, Usha Krishnan felt like a sheet of blank paper: hardly rigid, yet with nothing really to define her, and the slightest yank in any direction would send her ripping apart. She longed to take a certain soccer player to the side and give in to her secret fantasy, a relationship with an athlete. A female athlete. She really had to wonder if that was a sign. On the other hand, she yearned to attend her club. She would be there that day, as she had been since early in the year; Usha just had not noticed her because frankly, she looked like anyone else. Now she knew better. She disliked having underestimated that girl, seeing her as a young, simple-minded, procrastinating child who watched too many cartoons. She looked back at her original impressions with shame—not only because the girl proved very different, but how easily she had judged someone. How she ever expected to attain a high seat in the UN, or really a seat anywhere, was beyond her—for if she failed on such a small level... She shook her head. Torn between two loves... Perhaps it was best if she didn't attend either. She wanted so badly to see them both. She felt stupid, like a girl with a crush (two crushes!). Logically, going to the GSA would seem best, because she had never actually spoken to the athletic girl she liked. She had admired her from afar for a year, and yet said more to her rival, who she had not yet known for a full month, than the girl she supposedly pined after. Well, of course she had; one does not become president of the junior class student body by isolating oneself from political adversaries. Even her name spelled lovely doom for her. Van Dijk. What were the odds? ............ Just like in many other classical love stories, Mira van Dijk didn't know about Usha's crush on her—but given her circumstances, the fact that she was busy with a girlfriend already, it was understandable. Mira had liked Usha a bit from the start; now she loved spending time with the slightly older girl, taking walks and speaking about anything that came to mind, even going so far as to reveal their campaigns. Mira's was simple but effective, like a battering-ram. The students had already warmed up to her, some of them (Mira attested) quite tired of Usha's ways. The older woman didn't realize it, but some students planned on voting against her simply to have a new way of life in Stanton. Mira didn't ride on those laurels. She got herself deeply involved with many people, from Usha's GSA to Ancelin's kendo class (which she did not excel in personally). She asked them questions and made notes. She befriended people, a gift she was apparently born with, and by that friendship and "common connection", she learned more about students, their wants, and their needs than Usha ever had. She had her own circle of friends, her own slice of society to affiliate with; the girl who worked at a fast-food place and rode the bus could not comprehend the girl who was nearly a shoe-in for the United Nations. They just felt it was beyond them. But Mira, ah Mira... she worked for the common girl. It frightened and delighted Usha deeply to have such a worthy rival, but Mira didn't share that same joy. She signed up for fun, to see how far she could go and how hard she could work, and because it would be a good memory during college years. She honestly didn't care who won or lost; Mira had won already when she won Usha's respect and subsequent friendship. Yes, the two girls became friends; Mira loved seeing Usha and in spite of their rivalry, smiled warmly every time they met. The pet name Yusha, the best Mira could do with her Dutch voice, became a beloved moniker. If she hadn't spontaneously asked Blake Baum to be her girlfriend, Mira would've been with Usha instead. Not that she had regrets. Oh no. Mira whispered into Blake's ear. She sucked her earlobe and traced the edge of her hot tongue around the small ring in her girlfriend's lobe. Blake shuddered and squeezed harder. Mira sent shivers of joy and agonizing pleasure through Blake's body as she trailed her hands over the girl's arms, stroking them and squeezing them until at last they came to her hands. Eroticism flared when their fingers and palms met and made love; Mira chuckled and smiled with pure love as she felt Blake tickle and tap her hands. Together, they raised their arms high up in the air and kissed beneath them, if indeed their passionate embrace could be called kissing. They had not even been dating for a month... "What did you say?" asked Blake as Mira nuzzled her nose against her neck. Mira whispered, spreading her warm breath across Blake's neck. It was ultimate bliss and they had not undressed in the slightest. "I said, you are pretty tonight." Blake shuddered, not knowing whether to surrender and close her eyes, or keep them open to watch her girlfriend—her girlfriend, it had a sweet ring to it—deliver her pleasure. Mira loved touching, cuddling, kissing, and smiling; it was so pure and sweet that it nearly broke her heart. Sex was more distant than the next galaxy. Intimacy, love, knowledge, their presence, the delicious silence—this was by far more erotic and enjoyable. Blake could've devoured it forever and never feel full, nor want anything else. Not for awhile, anyway. "Well..." "Ssh." Mira put her slender finger on Blake's lips, looking very serious for a moment before leaning in. With her finger still in place, van Dijk pressed her lips close, close, right onto her finger, less than an inch away from her girlfriend's mouth. Blake could only breathe rapidly as Mira gave her an almost-kiss; she opened her mouth and took the girl's finger within. Mira gave a very cute squeal and surrendered every part of her body; Blake suckled the salty finger until her whole mouth tasted bittersweet, then released it slowly. Mira cringed at how sloppy her finger was and wiped off the remaining saliva. "Blake! Time's up!" It was her mother. Supportive and open-minded, yet still strict, Mrs. Baum called. Blake sighed. Stupid curfew. Mira gave a sweet smile and gently held the smaller girl's face in her hands. With palms on her cheeks, Blake was helpless and breathless, only able to close her eyes and pout out slightly as invitation to her Mira. She felt the lips of her girlfriend curl around her nose, and moaned very softly as Mira drew it into her mouth briefly. She let Blake go completely, still smiling, and waved farewell. "See you tomorrow in Miss Madsen's class." "Yeah," croaked Baum, the only thing she could say. Mira had nearly sent her into orgasm without touching anything below her shoulders. She was dear and sweet, loyal and kind, the type of lover people wish for even in the best relationships. Moreover, she was a friend and councilor, and fellow average girl, the kind that anyone could like if given the proper amount of homework, stress, and outside interest. Blake was still a novice when it came to love, so of course she felt her heart flutter and her mind race, but she still tried—hard—to remind herself not to rush things. The best things in life were taken slowly, one by one, until a person brimmed over from the joy and experience. ............ The day she felt greatly conflicted, Usha decided to attend her GSA meeting. She had skipped it before and nobody held her any grudge, but it would probably have been best of her to pursue one relationship rather than worry about two. Besides, she knew Mira pretty well, and liked her, and enjoyed her company. The athlete was a fantasy; Mira was real, and near, and, she had to admit, would do quite well in the political arena, future-wise. Usha was a little afraid to lose her "crush" already, but how well could a soccer player fare in congress, or parliament, or the UN? The following day, she skipped the club and watched the practice game. Usha bit the bullet and spoke with her "crush". As she expected, the girl was flattered and confused, but hardly offended or disgusted (that part she did not expect, but it was still pleasant). She asked if Usha was gay, or bisexual, because even she knew who ran the GSA. Usha held back her answer, bitter as it tasted in her throat, and simply asked for the chance to "test it and see". The girl, to her delight, accepted her proposal. The day after that, Usha went to the GSA; there was no practice game scheduled. As always, Mira greeted her with a warm smile, drawing other smiles from the members. The discussion that day went around three-way and four-way relationships, of all things, and whether or not they could exist. Usha desperately tried hard not to blush, and she couldn't really add her opinion since she feared revealing herself. What if Mira discovered she liked another girl—or vice-versa!? The day was too beautiful to ride a loud, smelly, cramped bus, even though both Mira and Usha lived far from the school. They figured to Hell with distance and the bus; they walked home and that was that. After both girls called their families to tell them they might be late, they set off together and soon struck up another conversation. Usha adored speaking to what she knew was an intellectual equal, yet Mira was not cruel or snobbish like so many others she had met. She just loved Usha's company. "I have a major dilemma haunting my steps these days, friend Mira," she confessed not long after putting Stanton behind her. "For most my life, I've been dependent and adherent to the rules and expectations of society. I've done everything I could to rectify wrongs and assert myself into any situation I faced, and I've lived up to my own goals and aspirations. I've not had time for... love... but it seems love's found me anyway—yet here lies my dilemma! For the longest time, I believed myself not only adhering to social rule, but sexual as well; in short, I considered myself attracted to men. I could say that this was true, but only... for a short time. "More accurately, I have been attracted to men only for a short time. Now it differs, it seems. I was unaware of this new feeling of mine, or maybe, I just denied it or wished not to know. Yet there it was. I kept telling myself I just admired that person, or just liked them, or just respected them, and I fooled myself for awhile. But now, things are different. I've been thinking—maybe too much for my own good, and I've been thinking I may in fact be bisexual. I'm certainly no lesbian—or maybe I am, and all this time I've been fooling myself the wrong way. I'm bisexual at least." "How are you sure?" asked Mira. She was one of the few people who permitted Usha to ramble on about whatever she felt, because usually Usha would do that and then some, which led to annoying her friends. But Mira loved hearing her talk; her voice was soothing and sophisticated, like a fine soup that could only be enjoyed one spoonful at a time. The analogy made her hungry. Usha answered shyly, which was something she very rarely did: "Because I'm attracted to another woman." She was sorely tempted to add "Well, two women, actually", but she thought it best to stay low. Besides, another woman could've meant anybody, even Mira. It was as safe as it got. Mira smiled and said, "Ah." She was happy with who she was and didn't begrudge anyone else that happiness. It was as if a close friend of hers told her they had gotten a nice grade or had some good thing happen to them. "Do you think I'm silly?" whispered Usha, sounding a bit ashamed. Mira smiled broadly and put her arm around her fiercest, dearest rival. "No, of course not! I am glad you figured this out! So where is lucky girl that Yusha thinks is so pretty? Do I know her?" "Mira..." "Poor Yusha's looking red," teased the Dutch girl. Usha giggled. "Oh, am I?! So I must really have a thing. But... I don't know! I mean, I do—I've had the same stupid crush on her for a year!" "Crush is not stupid," said Mira, who had been around long enough to understand the word. "Is very sweet. I think you will be most happy with the girl you pined for." "Pined?" "Not the right word?" Usha blushed even more. She could be very cute under the right circumstances. Even Mira thought so. "Oh... I don't know," she murmured meekly. "I mean... I have spoken with her, but... oh, forget it. It's really silly." "It's not!" Usha chuckled, Mira right next to her. People could see them giggling and talking and from time to time, touching each other gently and kindly, but if they ever cared, it didn't show. Usha composed herself a few sidewalk blocks later, rubbed her face, and breathed in and out. She gave Mira a friendly smile, marveling at how she cherished the girl and how sweet and unlikely their relationship was. Truly, the old maxim was correct: a noble friend was the greatest pleasure, and a noble rival was the next-greatest. And Mira was both. It was then that Usha finally realized, without any doubt, that she had a crush on Mira van Dijk. Scratch that—she was in love. "Mira," she said quietly. Mira had been staring into the distance the past few steps, but snapped away and turned, greeting Usha quietly in her own language. "I... have another confession." "More love?" "Yes," she whispered. Usha stopped walking, took a deep breath, looked up at her friend and rival, and clasped her hands. A thousand-thousand things came to her, things she could have (or should have) said, deep and dark confessions that left no room for inhibition: she could bare her soul and crumble, be totally honest, let Mira know how she felt, how she loved, how she made her weak and strong, how she... VROOM! A car brought her out of her mindless, blissful state. She blinked. Mira too. "Uh, nothing." "That usually means something." "But this time it means nothing." "You looked like you had something to say." Usha bit her lip and made a sad, sorry improvisation. "Um, about the election...... m-may the best woman win." "You told me that before. You didn't sound very... uh, what is good word? Ah, you look really foolish," she concluded. Usha frowned. "Damn it," she spat, "I'm trying to tell you that I like you but I just don't know how—I mean, I'm scared—I mean, confused—I mean... I've got... a lot of... things... in my mind." "I know you like me," said Mira, caressing her friend's beautiful long black hair. She was not being any help. "Not like that," whispered Krishnan. She took a deep breath, like she was going to dive into the ocean of all oceans, and lowered her face. "I like you." "Look at my face, Usha; this does not become you." Mira's words came so strongly and so powerfully that Usha felt weak, and happy, and frightened, and overwhelmed with love, and... by far, definitely, confused. She'd need a day to get it all down. So much for that sharp political mind; here she was wilting before the person she respected. So she looked up. Mira had such passive blue-gray eyes, like a foggy sea that sighed in relief after a storm. "I... love you, Mira." It came naturally. Van Dijk didn't seem shocked, taken aback, or even very flattered: just amused and happy. "See? That was not so hard." "Do you even know what I'm trying to say to you?" Biting back and yelling were not part of Usha's forte—another thing Mira had drawn out of her. She put her hand on Usha's face and smiled. Truthfully, Mira had wanted that kind of relationship with Usha for a long time, even as she carried one with Blake. She liked the dark-skinned, short young woman, and could speak at ease without any of her words being too mixed up (Usha understood and spoke a little Dutch). Even at her worst—at their worst—she liked Usha and liked being with her. And then came images of Blake, and how shaky and electric she felt when she was around her. Sweet Blake, who could cuddle and kiss and hold her just so, who was just happy to have somewhere to pour her love to, who was thankful to have someone so similar to her, so regular and carefree, so easy to get along with and have fun with and goof around with... She already yearned for the smaller rust-redhead even as she touched Usha. She had yearned for Usha even as she kissed and held Blake. So in all that silence, Mira understood. "To be honest, I want to go on a date with you, Mira—and be your girlfriend." Now where have you heard that before, Usha? Hmm? Mira smiled, then grinned, and in spite of the images and memories of Blake, she accepted. That night, the two rivals went on their first date together, mere weeks before election day. They only cared about each other, not the silly politics that would soon consume them both. Underneath that gray-black sky, with a warm wind and a gentle moon above, they shared their very first kiss of intimacy together. It was their first with each other, but not their first ever. Oddly enough, both Mira and Usha had gotten their first kiss from a woman... from the same woman. And they thought they had troubles.
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