The Way We Are (part 3 of 20)

A Single Scar

What exactly did that constitute? I pondered this as I walked home from Shizuru’s dorm in the cool night air.

The only friend I really had growing up was my dog, Duran. I missed that giant mess of long brown fur so much. He had always been there by my side no matter what. Whenever I fell down, Duran was there to nudge me back up. Whenever I was scared, he let me cling to his warm body for comfort. He was even there when death reached its hand out to me and wrapped its long, cold fingers around my frail young body. It had been successful in taking my mother. It had been successful in taking my best friend. But somehow I had eluded its grasp.

I looked down at the underside of my left wrist. The deep scar that was left there was the only thing that remained of that night…that and my memories.

I held my arm out slightly in front of me as I ran a finger over the protruding pink tissue.

I don’t know how it got there exactly. When I finally woke up in that hospital bed a year after the accident, it was there. There was no story behind it to tell people, not a clear one anyway. It was a part of me now, and there was nothing I could do about it.

That scar served as a reminder. The past couldn’t be changed, I knew that, but there wasn’t any reason for me to believe that justice couldn’t be served to the ones who caused me all of this pain.

Pain.

The pain of loss. Shizuru and I had that in common. Was that why I considered her more than just another annoying pest who tried to budge its way into my life? Was that enough to be considered friendship? Surely not. Friendship was something much more than that. It was something I had never experienced with another person, so how was I to know what it was? Would it be something I would just understand when it occurred?

Every now and then I would find myself watching the kids at school. They knew what friendship was. Sometimes I would see them walking in giant groups, sometimes it would just be two individuals. That was one thing I learned from my observations: numbers didn’t matter. All friendship required was two people who would be there for each other. Another thing I learned was the closeness of friends. I began picking up on who was hanging out with who very quickly because it would seem like certain people were always together.

Was I capable of that? Letting another person get that close…Could I let Shizuru get that close? Would she want to be that close to me?

At the moment, I really didn’t have that answer.

Weakness.

Did having a friend make me weak? I guess the better question would be, did wanting to have a friend make me weak? You could only rely on yourself, right? That’s what I had grown to believe. What I had taught myself to believe…Forced myself to believe…

But Shizuru had relied on me tonight, hadn’t she?

Pushing those thoughts out of my mind for the moment, I let out a sigh as I approached my apartment door. Pulling my keys out of my pocket, I lazily turned the silver object in the lock, which made a welcoming‘thunk.’ The door creaked slightly when I opened it and did the same when I close it behind me. I lumbered through the dark room making my way to the bathroom. Once there, I turned on the dim light and shed my clothing.

Looking at my weak, naked body in the mirror, I couldn’t help but frown. What did I expect to do with this? I wouldn’t be able to fulfill any of my goals while I was still like this. That wasn’t to say that I was in poor health, on the contrary, I was far from it. I had come a long way since that year spent sleeping in that cold hospital bed, but that wasn’t enough. I needed to be better, stronger. It was the only way I’d be able to protect myself and accomplish the avenging of my mother.

“If I’m really serious about this, I need to start doing something now,“ I said to no one but my reflection, a chilling seriousness in my tone.

I examined my scar once again.

My decision was made.

I mainly kept myself busy with my new exercise routine. I became obsessed with it really. Whenever I wasn’t at school, and sometimes when I should have been at school, I would be running, lifting weights, doings sit-ups, and just about any other form of physical activity that you can think of. You could already begin to see the results of my hard work. Well, I guess people would have if I had actually let them see.

I also continued to spend time with Shizuru. We would eat lunch occasionally in the privacy of the Fuuka garden, but other than that, we didn’t communicate too much at school. Every now and then outside of school we’d meet up at her place and just hang out. That usually just meant she would ramble on about unimportant school things, her getting pleasure out of teasing me, the two of us lounging around watching television, or doing our homework.

I never invited her over to my apartment, and I was happy that she was patient enough not to ask.

Then on one afternoon, our private little together time took a giant step into the not-so-private outside world.

I had gone over to her dorm after dinner to get some assistance on some math problems I was having trouble understanding when she suddenly changed the subject.

“Halloween is tomorrow.”

“…Yeah, so?” I remarked, keeping my eyes on the half-finished worksheet in front of me, staring down at one of the questions as if glaring at it will scare it into answering itself.

“So…are you doing anything?”

I looked up at her with a blank expression, “No. Halloween is a stupid holiday anyway.”

“Ara, poor Natsuki must have gotten rocks instead of candy when she was little,” Shizuru teased while raising a single delicate finger to her chin.

“No. I just think it’s pointless. All the dressing up and handing out treats…It’s such a waste of money.”

“Then what about a movie?”

This certainly caused my curiosity to rise.

“Whatabout a movie?” I threw back at her.

“Do you want to go see one? There are supposed to be a lot of really scary ones out this year. Or at least that’s what I hear.”

Now it was my turn to strike back, and I mustered up the best mock-Kyoto-ben accent that I possibly could, “Ara, don’t tell me that Fujino Shizuru couldn’t find a date for O-Hallows Eve…”

The girl in question made a fake angry face followed by an equally fake pout, “Mou…Natsuki is so cruel. And here I was helping you with your homework. Well, I guess I’ll just have to take it from you.”

At that, she quickly reached across the table and snatched up the paper I had been diligently working on all evening.

“Hey! Give that back, I have to turn that in tomorrow,” I protested in all seriousness.

She simply shook her head, chestnut locks swaying from the movement, “Nope. Not until you apologize and accept my terms.”

“Terms? Wha—”

“Promise me you’ll go to the movies with me tomorrow night.”

“What?”

Rather than answer, she waved the worksheet in my face. I tried to grab it from her, but she retracted her arm just in time. Growling, I pounced at her from my spot on the floor, but she somehow managed to evade my attack.

“My, my! Natsuki is quite the little beast!”

“SHIZURU!” I yelled as I bounded after her again.

The older girl shrieked as she ran across the room, but considering how small it was, there really wasn’t anywhere for her to go. After some jumping on, off, and around the beds, she managed to slip into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her…and right in my face. She wasn’t quick enough to lock it, however, and I quickly grabbed the handle and forced the thing open a bit. Shizuru pushed back against the door in an attempt to keep me out, her laughing only causing me to push harder.

“You could just give me back my paper and save yourself from impending doom, you know,” I suggested as I continued to win our little game, all that weightlifting coming in handy.

“Natuski would…hurt me…over such…a little…insignificant…thing?” she managed to choke out, a single crimson orb peeking out of the ever growing slit between the door and its frame.

“Damn…straight!” I quickly retorted.

Suddenly the force that had been holding me back disappeared, and I went flying into the bathroom headfirst. My gut met the sink counter, and all the air in my lungs dispersed in one quick rush leaving me sucking for air.

“Oh!” I heard Shizuru exclaim.

I turned my head slightly to see her now hazy form pushed up against the wall, the door having bounced back towards the frame. I couldn’t stop the fit of coughing that followed despite how much it wracked my midsection with sharp pangs.

She was quick to come to my side, putting the original cause of the whole mess on the counter as she placed a hand on my shoulder, “Natsuki, are you—“

I shrugged her hand off as I stormed out of the bathroom, still slightly bent over and woozy from the collision. Once outside I lifted my shirt to take a look at the damage. Sure enough, my stomach was a bright shade of red. I could see it was already beginning to bruise as well. I hissed at the sight, but my attention was quickly averted to concerned crimson eyes.

“Go lie down,” she ordered me, her tone void of its normal cheeriness.

I glared at her.

This is your fault.

When I didn’t move, Shizuru grabbed me by the arm and dragged me to the bed, forcing me down rather roughly.

“Hey!”

She ignored me as she walked back to the bathroom. I heard running water for a few brief moments before she returned with a wet washcloth. Sitting beside me as I lied on the bed, she lifted my shirt and placed the item on my pulsing stomach.

“Ah!” I cried out from both the initial sting of the touch and the cold of the cloth.

I watched as she stared blankly at my abdomen.

She looks so sad…

Finally, she slowly turned her head to look me in the eyes, “I’m sorry, Natsuki. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

I looked away, “Yeah, I know…Don’t worry about it. It’s not that bad anyways.”

It was just an accident. We were just goofing off…It’s not like it was entirely your fault…Why are you getting all upset about it? It’s not that big of a deal—!

She lightly poked me in the stomach causing me to flinch with a small grunt.

“Liar.”

There was a deafening silence between us before I came up with an idea to quickly amend the situation.

“You owe me then.”

“Hmm?”

“You owe me something for getting me hurt.”

“And what would that be…?”

“…Two movie tickets for tomorrow night.”

I was glad that we had gotten to know each other a little better over the past couple of weeks. After that night at the garden, we had slowly started talking more. I could tell that she was still uncomfortable with the whole thing, but at least it was a start.

We didn’t see each other at school too often, so our little friendship remained hidden from the eyes and ears of all the other students, but it was better this way most likely. Poor Natsuki probably would have been bombarded with questions if people knew that we had been talking, which ultimately meant there would also be several empty desks in the Fuuka Academy classrooms. What can I say? I was rather popular around campus. I never really did anything to gain my popularity, but I was always sure to be kind to my peers no matter what mood I might have been in. I didn’t have to put up an act for Natsuki though. We were just ourselves around each other. It was a nice change from the never-faltering airy smile I presented to the rest of the world every single day.

At the moment, however, I was stuck in my biology class impatiently watching the clock on the wall.

“When is this day going to be over?” I thought to myself before a small smile worked its way to my face, “I wonder if Natsuki is in any way excited about tonight? I’m sure she’d never admit it even if she was.”

Finally the bell rang, and I quickly packed my bag to head back to my dorm. Right when I was heading out of the classroom though, a familiar voice called out my name.

Oh, not now…

I turned around to see Kanzaki Reito quickly approaching. Reito was one of those guys who made just about every female he encountered swoon. There had been a rumor once that he had a crush on me, but neither of us ever addressed the other about it, so we remained as mere acquaintances due to both of us being involved with the student body.

I flashed my familiar smile, “Hello, Reito-kun. Is something the matter?”

The tall and darkly handsome young man before me motioned back down the hall with his thumb, “We have a last minute meeting for all the class representatives. The student council just called it.”

My expression didn’t change even though I was quite irritated with his news, “Ara, I’m in quite a hurry at the moment—”

“It’s mandatory. They say it’ll only take a minute,” he said as he turned to head back towards the student council room.

Now that he was turned around, I allowed myself to roll my eyes as I followed him. I had wanted to catch Natsuki before she went home, but it didn’t look like that was going to happen now. She was always so quick to leave school…Granted I was going to see her in just a few hours, hopefully, but I had wanted to make sure she wasn’t going to back out on me at the last minute.

Luckily the council was true to their word and we let out in ten minutes. Once I was back at my dorm, I just wasted time doing my homework that would be due tomorrow until there was about half an hour before Natsuki was supposed to arrive.

I pulled myself up and made my way over to the closet.

What to wear…I don’t want to look too flashy. I wonder what Natsuki’s going to wear? Probably something casual.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and proceed to try them on. I didn’t wear pants all that often, especially not blue jeans, but I still made sure to own a few pairs.

The denim hugged my thighs, but they weren’t uncomfortably tight. After approving myself in the mirror, I went back to my closet to decide on a top. In the end, I chose a white blouse with a black long sleeved sweater layered over it. After finding a matching belt and boots to put on, I entered the bathroom to touch up the small amount of makeup I had on. It was while I was in the middle of doing this that I heard three distinct knocks at my door.

“Just a second!” I announced as I finished the last little bit that I had left.

I jogged over to the door and opened it to reveal Natsuki who is decked in a pair of worn out jeans, her usual tennis shoes, and a navy blue shirt under a thin white hooded jacket that was only partially zipped up.

Always so cute…

“Hey. You ready?”

“Almost…” I replied, retreating back into the room.

She trailed in after me, taking a seat on the armrest of the couch as she waited for me to comb through my hair one last time. Once I had done so, I grabbed my purse and fetched my keys.

“Alright, let’s go.”

The raven-haired girl simply nodded as she pushed herself off of the couch and headed toward the door. We debated on whether or not to take a bus, but in the end decided that we had enough time to walk instead. As we made our way down the different busy sidewalks towards the theatre, we exchanged our usual simple chitchat about whatever came to mind.

Once we made it to the theatre, we entered and immediately looked for the listing of movies. We both stared up at the brightly lit screen, reading it over thoroughly.

“So, uh, what are watching?” Natsuki questioned.

“Well, it’s seven-thirty right now…” I began as I took out my phone to check the current time before looking back up at the screen to check the starting times, “It looks like there are two that start at seven-forty-five.”

We turned to look at each other, and Natsuki shrugged, “I don’t care. You pick.”

“Why do I have to pick? You’re the one who wanted the tickets.”

Her eyes thinned slightly, “What? Don’t you try to turn this on me, this was your idea, remember?”

I gave her a slight poke to the midsection to remind her of what happened the night before.

“Ah! Okay, okay. Geez.”

We ended up flipping a coin.

Once the small piece of metal had made the decision for us, we moved to get in line. I used my natural charm on the ticket salesman to illegally get us into the R-rated movie, and I could see Natsuki’s curious, and slightly amused, look out of the corner of my eye, an invisible force tugging her usually straight mouth into a smirk.

Once I had our tickets and we had started walking towards our specific theatre, I noticed that she still had the same look on her face.

“What?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s not true and you know it.”

She didn’t respond.

“You’d better tell me, Natsuki.”

“Oi, do you want anything from the concession stand?” she asked.

Nice try.

”No, and don’t change the subject.”

She shook her head, “Fine, I was just offering. And what subject? I don’t know what you’re talking about, Shizuru.”

I could tell by her tone that she knew exactly what I meant, and I playfully glared at her momentarily before letting the whole thing go.

We entered the dark room that luckily hadn’t filled up yet, and eventually I spotted two seats relatively centered with the screen in the very back row.

“Come on,” I stated as I grabbed Natsuki by the hand and led us up the stairs.

“H-Hey!”

We had to crawl over a seated couple to get to our spot. I, of course, apologized for the inconvenience; Natsuki merely refrained from making any eye contact with either of them.

After we both sat down, I finally released my grip on her hand. It retreated immediately, soon finding refuge in the pocket of her jacket along with her other hand. I managed to keep my chuckling silent when I noticed even in the dim lighting of the theatre that she was blushing slightly.

“I wonder what the movie’s going to be about…” I tried to ease the mood.

“Dunno. But with a name like The Darkness Within I hope it’ll be decent.”

The movie itself did turn out to be pretty good, but not necessarily all that scary. I was not one to pass up a fine opportunity like this, however, so I let my superb acting skills take over.

During one of the scarier scenes, I jumped and immediately wrapped my arms around Natsuki’s left one, drawing us closer together. My reaction, in turn, caused her to flinch.

“H-Hey,” she agitatedly whispered, “Shizuru, let go already.”

I silently shook my head rapidly back and forth.

I heard her let out a raspy sigh and relax back in her chair, a sign that she had consented to me staying like this for the moment. I tightened my grip, and I felt her toned muscles flex slightly at the pressure.

Natsuki’s been working out, hm?

It wasn’t like I hadn’t noticed it earlier. I have very keen eyes, especially when it comes to my Natsuki. I only wish that I had an equal talent in figuring out what goes on in that head of hers.

Maybe I can ask her later…

Even after the movie was over and we were back on the sidewalk going back to my place, I still hadn’t let go of her arm. My grip had loosened though…a little.

“Geez, Shizuru, I never thought you’d be sensitive to stuff like that. Was it really that scary?”

“Mou, don’t laugh at me, Natsuki. I’m going to have nightmares now. I won’t be able to sleep without you here with me…”

Her eyes widened as her cheeks became red at the comment, “A-Absolutely not! No way!”

She tried to break free of me, but I resisted.

“I need someone there to protect me,” I continued with a childish smile, “Won’t Natsuki be my knight in shining armor?”

She defiantly looked away from me, trying to hide her ever-reddening face, “N-NO.”

“But Natsuki’s princess needs protection from evil—”

“Sh-Shut up! You’re not my princess.”

Once we made it back to my dorm, I finally let her go. Natsuki eyed me suspiciously as I unlocked the door and invited her inside, but she came in despite still being wary of me.

I excused myself to the bathroom, and when I returned, I found my guest clicking away on my computer. I took note that she was standing rather than sitting in the chair in front of her, and seizing the moment, I silently crept up behind her while she was busy surfing the net and gently wrapped my arms around her waist.

“Ah! Sh-Shizuru?!”

“I’ve been worried about Natuski’s poor stomach…” I whispered into her ear as I slipped my hand under her jacket and shirt. My cool fingers slid over her slightly sculpted abs, causing a trail of goose bumps to rise in their wake.

“St-Stop it,” she pleaded while taking hold of my wrist and pulling my hand out from beneath her clothing. I let her go as I took a step back.

“I’ve noticed that you’ve been working out lately,” I stated as she turned around to face me. She was quite red in the face, and her expression was one of agitated discomfort.

“Yeah, so?”

I paused momentarily before proceeding, “Any particular reason why?”

“Not really.”

“Oh.”

There was a small bout of silence before I continued, “I was being serious about your stomach though. Does it hurt still?”

“A little.”

More silence.

“I had a good time tonight,” I honestly told her, trying to kill the awkwardness for her if even just a little bit.

“…Yeah.” Natsuki slowly replied, raising her left hand to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, her sleeves slipping down slightly, “Well, I guess I’ll see you at school tomorrow or something.”

“Mmh,” I simply murmured as we walked towards the door, letting a rush of cool air enter my room as I opened it and the girl before me stepped outside.

“Goodnight,” I softly said.

“Yeah, later,” she uttered in return.

I closed the door and leaned my back against it, eyes closed.

So what was that scar, Natsuki…?