Harsh light assaulted her eyes. Unfamiliar sounds assaulted her ears. Mechanical sounds of breathing machines, the beeps of heart monitors and the muted steps of slipper-clad feet echoed around her. *Where is this?* She was reclining on some kind of table or bed. It had metal rails. *Hospital?* "Why am I..?" she croaked. Her throat was raw, her voice sounded strange in her ears. Something pulled at her consciousness. Something she had to do. The girl tried to raise upright, but was hampered by something on her arms. Padded restraints. Was this some kind of dream? She tugged at them, testing. They felt real enough. "Those are for your protection," a voice intruded. The girl's head snapped to the left o see a vaguely familiar figure sitting in a chair against the far wall. "You tried to hurt yourself. Those are to keep you from doing it again." The girl relaxed a bit and studied her companion. Yes, long, dark hair. A beautiful oval-shaped face. Startling green eye like emeralds. "Kuga...Natsuki?" "That's right," the older girl said with a slight smile. "The doctor said the sedatives would leave your brain a little fuzzy." "Sedatives?" The other girl's smile disappeared. "You were out of control for a while" "Natsuki, what happened to me? What did I try to do?" Natsuki didn't answer. The girl studied herself. An IV tube was taped to her left arm. But, on her right index finger was a small splint. "It's not broken," Natsuki said quickly. "The paramedics dislocated it on accident when you wouldn't let go..." "Wouldn't let go? Natsuki, you're not making any sense. Wouldn't let go of what?" Images came before her. A mad, losing struggle against others. They were trying to take something from her. But it was *hers* and they couldn't have it. Who were these people and why did they want to take her most precious thing away? Her most precious thing... Her most precious... Amethyst eyes widened with shock. "Natsuki, where is Mikoto?!" The older girl started. "Mai, I can't..." "Where is she?" Tokiha Mai demanded. "I need her near me! GIVE HER BACK!" Her increasing screams alerted the staff and a swarm of nurses and doctors came in and restrained the thrashing girl. One of them did something to her IV and warmth spread across Mai's body. She fell into darkness. ------------------------------------------------------------------- Was this hell? The place some people believed you went after death. If you were a terrible person you went there for punishment. Her surroundings were vague. All she could see were formless masses which moved in and out of her vision periodically. She could not move as she could not feel her body. Her extremities had either ceased to function of ceased to be. She could not hear. Not clearly anyway. The masses murmured in guttural tongues she couldn't decipher. Perhaps the language of the demons come to torture her. She was not afraid of them. They could not harm her worse than that other sound. The sound she heard at the end of her life. The sound which replayed recently somewhere in this place only to be abruptly cut off. The sound of someone calling, screaming her name. Of course this place would remind her of that. Hell wasn't a fiery pit after all. Hell was the place where your sins were forever brought before you. All of your mistakes made in life were laid bare; accusing you. Eternally. Her sins were indeed many. But her deepest sin was one she could no longer atone for. She had hurt the one she loved most under the guise of protecting her. For this Minagi Mikoto deserved to suffer. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Exhausted from her worries and her constant vigil over her friends, Kuga Natsuki had finally collapsed in the hospital waiting room. Mai's deteriorating sanity and Mikoto's comatose state were just too much to bear. Try as she might, Natsuki just couldn't see how it had all gone so wrong, so quickly. Natsuki slowly awoke, the expected aches from sleeping in a chair were strangely absent. Something soft supported her head and something warm surrounded her shoulders. Awakening fully, Natsuki found that she was resting on the bosom of her love, Fujino Shizuru. Natsuki bolted upright, hoping nobody saw her in such a position. "Good morning," came Shizuru's musical voice. "Why didn't you wake me sooner?" Natsuki asked as she found a jacket about her shoulders. "You needed the rest," Shizuru replied as she reached out to smooth Natsuki's sleep-mussed hair. "Besides, I like your face when you sleep." "Th-thanks," the dark-haired girl replied. "You don't have to pamper me-" She broke of as she spied a rather large wet spot on Shizuru's silk blouse. "Oh, this? You were sleeping so beautifully, I didn't have the heart to move you." Her face beet red, Natsuki shooed Shizuru to the washroom to freshen up while she asked a passing nurse where to find some coffee. She paused. Something wasn't right. "Shizuru's eyes," she whispered. Natsuki hurried to the washroom to find Shizuru standing at the sink, hair brushes, makeup and skin care products arrayed before her. She was dabbing at her eyes with an exquisitely embroidered handkerchief. "I didn't want you to see me like this," she said. "Shizuru," Natsuki breathed in wonder. She tentatively put her arms around her love. Shizuru tensed a moment, and then accepted the embrace. "I wanted to be strong for you," she said, the tears flowing freely now. "But it suddenly hit me that I couldn't do anything for them. I've built a life on being the one people turn to but now I'm powerless." "You said once that your heart was only big enough for me," Natsuki said after a moment. "You’re wrong about that. Your heart is as big as you make it." She kissed Shizuru's wet cheek. "They're so much like we used to be," Shizuru said as she regained control. "How so?" "The closer they became, the more they hurt each other. "Do you think they'll make it through?" Natsuki asked. "They're connected now, body and soul," Shizuru said as Natsuki began brushing her wheat-colored hair. "If Mikoto-chan doesn't wake up Tokiha-san may never come back to us." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Consciousness swam back to her like a small fish. always darting out of her grasp until she netted it and brought it to herself. "Oh, I'm still alive." The room was unfamiliar, but the layout told her she was in a hospital. Tubes and wires were attached here and there on her body. Another line fed oxygen to her nose. Suddenly a shadow loomed over her and an icy hand touched her brow. Had Death come to claim her now? For someone who had been all to willing to run towards Death only a short time ago, Yuuki Nao was afraid. "You've regained consciousness," Death's voice sounded eerily familiar. A bedside lamp was switched on to reveal the pallid face of Miyu Glear. "Father Callahan left 10 minutes ago," she said. "I was told to make sure you had company when you woke up." "Miyu..." Nao's throat was parched. The android allowed her to sip some water from a handy glass. "I...I'm sorry." "You require rest now," Miyu said, ignoring the apology. She efficiently adjusted Nao's pillows beneath her and made sure all of the monitoring equipment was functioning properly. "Miyu," Nao spoke up. "Is Mikoto...?" "Minagi Mikoto is currently comatose. She has a 47% chance of regaining consciousness." Nao wasn't certain how to take the news. Part of her was actually relieved Mikoto had survived, even if only this much. She also wondered if it would be a kindness to just let the girl die. What had seemed like a clear course was now muddled with doubts and regret. Miyu turned and walked towards the door, where she paused. "Yuuki Nao, please refrain from doing something so foolish again," she said. "I--Ojou-sama is accustomed to your presence and would become distressed if something happened to you." Nao was left to ponder her newly-returned life; the same life she'd so readily thrown away. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Another day and night came and went without much change. Mikoto's eyes had opened but she gave no sign that she saw anything. Youko-sensei had been tearing her hair out trying to piece together what had happened. "From what I can tell," she said as she pulled Natsuki out of the room. "Nao took the sleeping pills from the locker in my office. I was so busy at the time I didn't notice." "If they were just sleeping pills, why won't Mikoto wake up?" Natsuki asked. "Aren't they out of her system yet?" "From the residue in the bottle it looks like she grabbed several medications and mixed them together. It's a miracle either of them is alive at all," Youko replied. "Nao got off easy, but some of the ones Mikoto-chan took may have been narcotics. They reeked havoc with her liver and may be affecting her brain function." "Are you telling me you CAN'T help her?!" "I'm telling you that it will take some time. We have to discover what she ingested and apply appropriate counter-measures," The older woman steeled herself and gazed at Natsuki. "About Tokiha Mai-san. I need you to tell me what happened that night." Natsuki slowly walked down the hall with Youko in tow. She silently led the older woman to an elevator and to the next floor. Her footsteps ended in front of Mai's room. The younger girl was sitting up in her bed staring forward. "I remember Mai screaming," Natsuki began. "I had come downstairs because of the commotion. A lot of girls were hanging around Nao's room, not doing anything. "I heard the screaming first. Mai was begging Mikoto to wake up. Saying she was sorry for everything. Begging her not to go away. When I got inside I found her cradling Mikoto and rocking her. She didn't even notice me. The paramedics got there soon and started first aid on Nao. But when they tried to take Mikoto..." She paused the full weight of memory catching up to her. "She fought them, biting and hitting and scratching. Mai was like a wild animal. When they finally got Mikoto loose Mai shrieked at them. Saying they couldn't take Mikoto away because she was already a part of her." "And that's when she grabbed the kitchen knife?" Youko prompted. "Yeah," Natsuki replied. "She almost had it to her throat when I got to her. If I'd been a second later..." "Mikoto?" Mai's voice drifted into the hall. Both women rushed to her side. The strawberry-blonde was looking about herself, searching. "Natsuki, Youko-sensei, what are you doing here?" Natsuki and Youko traded a look. "We were afraid the sedatives would trigger depression so I had them back off the dose." "This is the hospital isn't it?" Mai asked curiously. "Why am I here? Why...Mikoto...Mikoto was...oh...OH GOD MIKOTO'S DEAD!" Natsuki grabbed her friend in a fierce embrace while Youko rushed to shut the door. She then pulled out a medication vial and a needle from the pocket of her lab coat. "Kuga-kun, you have to keep her calm." "It's all right,” Natsuki soothed. "Mai, relax a little we need you to come back to us." "But, she's gone," Mai sobbed into her shoulder. "She's gone and I never got to tell her. I never told her anything. Her last thoughts were that I couldn't love her!" "She's not dead," Youko spoke up. "What?" "Mikoto-chan isn't dead." "Not...dead?" Mai seemed unwilling to believe such a thing. At any moment fate would pull back the curtain and expose this hope as a cruel joke. "She's in a kind of coma, but we're caring for her" Youko said. "I want to see her," Mai said quietly. "Mai, you can't," Natsuki said indicating the restraints. "I need to see her," Mai said, louder this time. "The staff psychiatrist thinks it would be a bad idea to let her do that," Youko told Natsuki. "It could trigger another episode, or worse." "Please!" Mai looked upon Natsuki with tear-filled eyes. "Even if I can't do anything for her, even if I can't wake her up; I need to see Mikoto. She's a part of me now. She's the part that matters most." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Night had come to this austere place. The sterile hallways were clear of visitors and patients alike. Nurses working the graveyard shift read novels to stave off the boredom of watching monitors. A shadow detached itself from the wall and drifted past the nurse's station. Down the ward the wraith went hurrying past the pools of light made by the security lamps. the shadow paused at a door near the end and silently entered. Yuuki Nao rarely slept now. Her brush with death had instilled her with a a newfound will to live all of her life. She was now reading through some cards and letters sent to her by concerned classmates, still stunned that so many gave a damn about her well-being. Therefore when the figure entered her room, she wasn't the least surprised to find the biker-suit-clad Kuga Natsuki approaching her bed. "If you're here for some kind of revenge," she said placidly. "I won't blame you." For her part, Natsuki did look at the redhead a moment, as if she was considering this. "I might take you up on that later," she replied. "Tonight, I need to ask you a question." "If you want to know why, I can't give you an answer. At least I can't give you one you'd understand." "I already know why you did it," Natsuki said, reveling in the younger girl's surprise. "You took a twisted path to reach your goal and a lot of people are suffering because of you. I just wanted to know. Did you love Mikoto?" "I wanted to save her you know," Nao said mournfully. "I thought I could save her from living with that pain of knowing she couldn't be with Mai. It's all I wanted." "Stop lying," Natsuki said sternly. "For once just tell the truth. If more of that had been done we could have avoided all this." "I can't hide it very well eh?" Nao smiled weakly. "Maybe I wanted to punish Tokiha Mai just a little for treating Mikoto like that. But mostly, I just wanted to have her to myself. Even if she didn't love me back I could still have her." "Do you still love Mikoto now?" "Yes." "Then I need your help." --------------------------------------------------------------------- The call signal buzzed at the nurse's station. A young nurse, fresh from school and lamenting the damage graveyard shift was having with her love life, took the call and hurried to the room. A few moments later she rushed back, her soft-soled shoes slapping the floor. "She's gone! The patient in room 1601 is gone!" The head floor nurse quickly contacted security, assembled a search party and they all set about scouring the hospital for the missing girl. --------------------------------------------------------------------- The demons had gone away leaving her alone. Suffering was the way of life here in Hell, but she was glad they had given up for now. Their toneless murmuring was worse than anything else. Now, something new approached and called what sounded like her name. The voice was not that of a demon, but the gentle voice of her beloved Mai. *It's finally starting* she thought. The final torture would not be physical but emotional. To eternally hear her beloved's voice in her ear, yet never be able to touch her to hold her in her arms. She would endure it until madness takes her. -------------- "Why are you crying?" Mai asked the still form of Mikoto. "Does even my voice hurt you that much?" Natsuki didn't have much of a plan for this moment. She only had a vague notion that Mai needed to be with Mikoto. That both their lives depended on it. Yet, now that they were together she wondered if she'd made a mistake. If Mai expected too much or Mikoto got worse; Mai could slip over the edge again and never return. When they'd entered this small room, Mai had been shocked to see so many machines and monitors connected to Mikoto's small frame. She'd gingerly climbed onto the bed and brushed away a few stray hairs from her slackened face. She then tenderly kissed Mikoto's lips and lay down beside her. They'd stayed that way for half an hour. Mai whispering something to Mikoto and the feral girl gazing back at her with sightless eyes. Natsuki was about to suggest Mai com back with her when the tears started. The moisture formed in Mikoto's golden eyes and rolled down her cheeks. "I wanted to tell you so much," Mai said. "But you'd already gone away from me. I can't live this life without you. You said you loved the smiling Mai, right? Well, you ARE my smile. You're my most precious thing in this world. So if you're not here...If you're not here I don't want to be here either." "Mai!" Natsuki came forward ready to stop her friend from doing anything rash. But she stopped short when a pair of arms encircled Mai, embracing her. "Mikoto?" shocked, Mai looked down to see the golden eyes had regarded her with recognition as the fought to focus. "Mai..." Mikoto said weakly. "Are you real?" "Yes!" Mai nodded emphatically. "I'm right here and I love you! I don't care who knows it! I love you, Mikoto!" "No," Mikoto said. "What?" Mai asked, puzzled. "I don't believe you," she said. "I can't trust...those words." Someone started trying to open the room door and Natsuki quickly jammed a chair under the handle. "I don't understand Mikoto," Mai began to sob. "I told you that I love you. I can finally say it." "Mai says things she doesn't really mean sometimes," Mikoto said. "Even if it's just to protect me. I have to know the truth." "What do you mean?" Mikoto said nothing more but began tugging loose Mai's hospital robe. "Wh-what are you doing?" Natsuki demanded as she leaned against the door. The polite knocking had become insistent pounding and then resounding booms as someone tried to knock the door in. "This can't lie," Mikoto said calmly, oblivious to the noise and to Mai's protests. She managed to pull the robe open, exposing Mai's pajamas. She then unbuttoned the front exposing Mai's breasts. "Please tell me the truth," she said almost like a prayer and buried her face in Mai’s breast. Time stopped. Then resumed as with a resounding crash the door was battered in sending Natsuki across the room. In came several orderlies, nurses a doctor and security guards, all of whom were shocked to find a half-naked patient hugging a supposedly comatose patient to her very exposed breast. Mikoto looked up at Mai, her smile finally reaching her eyes. "Mai's heart told me she loves me," she beamed. "I can always believe Mai's heart." As Natsuki hustled to get a blanket and cover Mai's dignity, the other girl could only smile. "I wish I'd learned to listen to it before all this." Mikoto nodded approvingly. "The smiling Mai is the best," she said. Mai lifted her chin and gently kissed her lips. "But Mikoto is the one who gave Mai that smile." ------------------------------------------------------------------ Author's note: This alternate ending exists due to my frighteningly obsessive love for the Mai/Mikoto pairing. I love my angst and tragedy, but I thought they deserved some of the love side of things. Somehow seeing these two together puts a warm fuzzy in my black heart. :HUGS: Arca Jeth
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