Ani-ue, my heart is confused. I tried to take your advice about Mai. When you told me that her happiness should be my happiness, I thought I'd found a way out. I thought I could find a way to live without her love. But I was wrong. You probably know by now that I moved out. I couldn't take living with her anymore, knowing that her smile wasn't mine alone. Knowing that her kiss wasn't mine alone. Mai is the kindest person I know, but because she's so kind makes her the cruelest person. She couldn't tell me to go away. She couldn't tell me that she didn't love me that way. Yuuichi was the other reason I left. He's my friend and always kind and funny. He makes Mai smile. If Mai chose someone like him it wouldn't be so bad. I could be happy for them. That lie kept me sane for a while. But deep in my heart I started to hate him. I wanted to scream at him; "Don't make her smile! Don't make her laugh! Don't make her look at you that way! Don't make her give you her heart." I left because I hated him. Mai was the one who taught me what real love felt like. So, I could never hate something she loves. Now someone new is in my life. She's fun to be around and pretty. She makes me feel like it's all right to start living again. I want to give myself to Yukino, to let her fill the emptiness if only for a moment. But, why is a part of me holding back? Why can't I just let Mai go and start my life over? Ani-ue, what should I do?
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