Notes: This just gets weirder and weirder… * * * * * This most certainly wasn’t what I was expecting, this quiet. I anticipated chaos, a mixture of crying and screaming. I expected to be awoken one morning by the sound of a heart breaking, being smashed into the floorboards but continuing to beat, and each beat bringing forth hundreds of new tears. I expected all of this; I expected to see a woman die of sorrow for the first time in my life. But this - this silence and professional atmosphere - was not what I had predicted at all. Heero told Relena he was leaving last week. I stayed awake all night, waiting for the sobs to start. I was disappointed and taken aback when they never did. So I’ve been waiting ever since. “Are you all right?” I ask her, trying to sound sympathetic and to keep the exasperation out of my voice. Why won’t you break? I want to ask her but I don’t. Her mouth is pursed into a thin line, so detached and emotionless. I wonder if she knows how unattractive she looks like this or how beautiful she looks when she cries. Sometimes I think that if she would have cried in front of him he would have stayed, because he’d finally see how pretty she can be. “I’m fine, Dorothy.” A pretty little fake smile. Just like a doll. Aren’t dolls supposed to break, shatter into millions of pieces? “You’re not acting like yourself, Miss Relena. I’m worried about you. Ever since Heero announced that-” “I said that I’m fine, Dorothy,” she says, continuing to flip through her papers, not even sparing me a glance. “A little sad that Heero has to leave, especially since he’s been here for such a short amount of time. But really, you’re behaving as though I should be smashing my hands against the walls.” Now that would be truly stunning. Relena curled into a tiny ball, sobbing into her knees, her knuckles chafed and bloody from the abuse. “I’m worried,” I repeat. It sounds like a reasonable thing to say. I’ve decided that maybe the subject needs to be pushed. Maybe she’ll break then. She sighs and sets the papers down, her eyes raising to stare at me evenly. For a moment, I’m sure that she can see through me. But then she smiles sweetly - an expression I haven’t seen grace her face for quite a while. I honestly hoped that I’d never see it again. “I know you are,” she whispers, standing and crossing over to me. “I know you are. But I’m fine. I really am.” She cuddles into my arms and I reluctantly hold her close to me. “Besides, I have you.” Heero’s words come tumbling back to me. She’ll be all right. And she is. She hasn’t broken, and I’m beginning to think that she never will. After all, she has you. She has me. So I suppose that means that I have her as well. She has you. I wonder if maybe Heero can see something that I can’t see.
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