The Coward Within

a Gundam Wing fanfiction by JupiterChan

The light autumn breeze blew Dorothy’s pale blonde hair behind her 
like a long golden cape as she walked outside barefooted on the coarse 
steppingstones to the garden, her light azure eyes sparkled with a 
sudden burst of joy as she saw her love basting in the shadow of a 
Japanese Maple tree reading a thick novel.

“Hello Relena-sama.” Dorothy inquired as she walked passed Relena, the 
darker blonde haired girl looked up with a shy smile.

“Hello Dorothy, your just the person I needed to see,” She stated in a 
polite diplomatic tone. “Please have a seat.” Relena gestured with her 
free hand as she spoke; Dorothy slowly approached the tree and sat 
down beside the darker blonde.

“And what do you wish to talk to me about Relena-sama?” Asked Dorothy 
in a low voice as Relena placed her book down on the grass, the darker 
blonde smiled sweetly and lend against the Maple. Dorothy sighed 
slightly and slid her arm around her love’s waist.

“About us of course.” Relena whispered into the other girl’s ear, the 
light blonde shuttered in pleasure.

“And what about us do you wish to discuss Relena-sama?” Dorothy 
inquired as she stroked the darker blonde’s hair; Relena lightly 
kissed the lighter blonde’s neck and pulled her closer.

“About how I want you every second of every waking day.” Relena stated 
as she gazed into Dorothy’s brilliant blue eyes, Dorothy grinned and 
slightly giggled as she nuzzled her love’s shoulder.

“Mmm, I like to hear that Relena-sama,” Dorothy cooed in a lust filled 
tone as she wrapped her arms tightly around the slender girl she was 
holding. Relena giggled half amused and half aroused. “Because I think 
of you all the time, awake or not.” Declared Dorothy as she lifted her 
head off of Relena’s shoulder and firmly kissed her on the lips, the 
lighter blonde moaned softly as her love’s tongue slid into her mouth. 
The kiss lasted for a long while, reluctantly both girls pulled away 
flushed and slightly panting as they locked eyes.

“Relena.” A monotone voice called out as a dark figure came into view, 
Relena jerked her head up and turned in the direction the voice was 
coming from. A young man stood with a pistol in his right hand, his 
dark brown hair ruffled slightly as the wind began to blow and his 
cold emotionless eyes glared cruelly at the two girls. “I’ve finally 
decided to keep my promise Relena; I’m going to kill you like you 
always wanted me to.” The gunman declared, his voice not changing in 
the least as he slowly walked up to the two blondes. Dorothy’s eyes 
flared as she looked at the heartless man with the firearm.

“Leave her alone Heero Yuy! She doesn’t want to die anymore, leave her 
alone!” Screamed Dorothy as she stood up and shielded Relena with her 
body, Heero gazed at her show of protection for the pacifistic blonde 
girl.

“Dorothy. Move or I will kill you first and make her watch.” The 
Japanese Gundam pilot stated as he lips curved into a vile merciless 
grin at the thought of Relena watching her lover die a slow painful 
death. Dorothy gave the 01 pilot a fearless smirk as she stared into 
him, cutting deeply into him but all she saw was pain and hatred 
glinting in his soulless eyes.

“You can kill me Yuy but you’ll never lay one hand on Relena-sama!” 
The platinum blonde exclaimed as she held her ground. Heero’s grin 
vanished just as fast as it had appeared, his steady hand raised up 
pointing the pistol at Dorothy’s head, the lighter blonde gasped as 
the Japanese pilot cocked the hammer of the gun.

“Mission accomplished.” Heero declared as he pulled the trigger and 
sent a bullet through Dorothy’s forehead; a gush of grey-matter mix 
with crimson flew through the air in a thick spray; painting the 
ground and Relena in gore.

“Dorothy! Dorothy wake up! Come on Dorothy wake up, your having a 
nightmare!” A husky voice called out from nowhere, the platinum blonde 
stirred violently thrusting everything off of her hot sweaty body. 
Suddenly Dorothy sat up panting heavily and visibly shaking, tears 
hung on her cheeks and burned her pale azure eyes. The light-haired 
blonde hid her pale face in her hands as a pair of small warm hands 
patted her back comfortingly. “Are you okay Dorothy?” A soft polite 
voice asked as Dorothy shook the dream from her head; the light-haired 
blonde trembled as she recognized the speaker although she couldn’t 
see the person.

“Relena-sama…I…I’m…fine, I…just had a bad-dream…that’s all.” Dorothy 
stuttered horribly as she spoke. She is in my room, on my bed; oh gods 
tell me this isn’t a dream! The blonde asked herself as her eyes 
focused on the other girl. Relena gently patted Dorothy’s back trying 
to calm her.

“Dorothy this is the fifth nightmare in a week, I’m getting worried 
about you, are you sure your okay?” The polite pacifistic girl 
inquired in a low tired voice. Dorothy realized she must have been 
screaming in her sleep again.

“Relena-sama, I’m sorry that I woke you up with m…my stupid 
nightmares.” Apologized the still shaken Dorothy, Relena smiled into 
the darkness and placed her hand on the other girl’s left shoulder.

“Dorothy there is no need to apologize to me, you didn’t wake me. I 
can’t sleep well lately with the war going on, so please don’t think 
I’m up because of your screaming.” Relena said in a calm tone, Dorothy 
sighed a little, then tensed up again as the darker-haired blonde bent 
forward and looked deeply into her eyes.

“R…Relena-sama I’m fine, really. Please don’t worry about me; there is 
no need to care about my silly night horrors. You on the other hand 
should try to sleep, you have a meeting with the ambassadors of L2 
tomorrow morning.” Declared the platinum blonde as she felt heat rise 
to her cheeks, Relena smiled weakly.

“Dorothy, it’s the same dream every time isn’t it?” Relena asked as 
her voice took a new tone unknown to Dorothy’s ears. All the blonde 
could do was nod slowly, Relena sighed slight and pulled back a little 
as she realized Dorothy was uncomfortable being that close. “I thought 
so,” Stated the sandy-haired blonde. “Dorothy please tell what its 
about, I’m sure that would help you some.”

“Relena-sama, I’ve told you very night for the past four nights I 
don’t remember what its about.” Dorothy choked on her own lie as she 
said it, Relena sighed again.

“Are you sure you just don’t want to remember it, or are you hiding 
something from me Miss Catalonia?” Relena inquired although she knew 
Dorothy would only deny remembering her dream. What is she hiding from 
me? Relena asked herself as she looked at Dorothy’s brow furrow in 
though. She is trying to put her mask back on before I see her for 
whom she is, why does she hide this side from me? Gods Dorothy, stop 
running from your true self! Relena continued to pry into her own 
thoughts for a moment. Suddenly the fairer-haired blonde gazed at 
Relena and smirked.

“My dream, it always started out lovely. Then Heero kills me. Is that 
what you wanted to hear?” Dorothy asked with a trimmer of pain her in 
words, yet it was well hidden in her sarcastic cheerful tone. The 
pacifistic blonde blinked in shock unable to speak for a long moment. 
Then Dorothy continued with her telling her dream. “You are there in 
my dream Relena-sama, we’re talking then in the middle of a lovely 
conversation Heero walks up to us and I quote ‘I’ve finally decided to 
keep my promise Relena; I’m going to kill you like you always wanted 
me to.’ Then I defend you, and because of it Heero blows my brains out 
with a pistol.” Explained the blonde girl, Relena looked at her with a 
bit of shock in her eyes.

“You…you…died because you were protecting me?” Asked the sandy-haired 
blonde, Dorothy only nodded. Relena suddenly smiled. “Thank you 
Dorothy…and I’m sorry that you keep having those nightmares because of 
me…” Relena was softly cutoff.

“Relena-sama, when I wake up I’m not scared because I die, I’m scared 
because I don’t know if your alive or not. I hate those types of 
dreams that don’t give me any closure.” Dorothy muttered softly yet 
with a firm sincerity that made Relena know she wasn’t lying.

“Dorothy…that’s…sweet.” Relena said barely above a whisper, Dorothy 
made no attempt to rephrase what she had let slip out, but instead 
patted Relena’s shoulder. The darker-haired blonde pulled Dorothy into 
a light hug that was slightly warm and comforting to both girls.

“Relena-sama, its very late perhaps we both should try and get some 
sleep now.” Suggested the fairer-haired blonde tiredly, Relena smiled 
softly and nodded. “Umm…Relena-sama…thank you for listening to my 
dream it does help to talk to someone about those sort of things.” 
Dorothy managed to mutter out before Relena stood up and began to walk 
towards the door. Relena turned around and smiled sweetly.

“Anytime Dorothy, anytime.” She said as she bent forward and lightly 
kissed Dorothy’s forehead, the blonde girl grew bright red as a dark 
blush instantly spread across her pale cheeks. “Goodnight Dorothy.” 
Relena stated as she walked out of her friend’s bedroom and closed the 
door silently behind her. The fairer-haired blonde blinked for a long 
while as if to make sure she wasn’t dreaming, a wide smile inched its 
way across her face as she lied down and slowly drifted to sleep.

A sudden blast from her alarm clock jolted Dorothy wake, making her 
head throb immensely as she threw her blankets off of herself and 
staggered out of bed.

“For Gods sakes why do I get up this early?” Dorothy chastised herself 
for being a late to bed early to rise kind of person, but getting up a 
little early was worth being able to eat breakfast with Relena. 
Dorothy quickly took a shower then dressed, putting on her special 
Sunday outfit. Which consisted of a pale-blue silk blouse and a 
matching skirt with grey knee-high socks, Dorothy looked at herself in 
the mirror and grinned slyly. Slowly Dorothy walked out of her 
bedroom, her stomach fluttered slightly and was beginning to knot into 
a tight ball as she walked into the dinning hall. Relena was sitting 
on the long end of the rectangle dinning table, busy reading new 
battle reports. Her personal bodyguard, Hilde Schbeiker, was seated 
beside her drinking a cup of strong German coffee. Dorothy’s blue eyes 
twitched slightly as she looked at the short German girl sitting 
beside Relena, but she shook the fit of jealousy off as she sat down 
across from the sandy-haired blonde.

“Good morning Dorothy.” Relena stated as she continued to read the 
files in her hands, the paler-haired blonde brushed her bangs out of 
her face.

“Good morning Relena-sama, Miss Schbeiker.” Dorothy declared as she 
poured herself a glass of orange juice and stared blankly at the table 
for a moment. Slowly Relena looked up from the battle reports and 
closed her violet eyes, rubbing her temples with the tips of her 
fingers. Hilde set her coffee down and cleared her throat.

“Miss Darlian, are you alright?” The short dark-haired girl asked as 
she looked at Relena, the sandy-haired blonde shook her head.

“Its nothing that a few aspirin won’t cure.” Relena stated as she 
pulled a bottle of extra strength aspirin out of her coat pocket, the 
German girl nodded and resumed drinking her coffee. Quietly Dorothy 
sipped her juice as one of the Darlian house-servants placed a plate 
in front of her.

“Enjoy your breakfast Miss Catalonia.” Said the servant as he walked 
away, the platinum blonde scowled at the food; three strips of bacon, 
two eggs over-easy, and four triangle shaped pieces of wheat toast. 
Suddenly Dorothy’s stomach turned, the sour taste of bile filled her 
mouth but she refused to let herself get sick. Instead the platinum 
blonde drank her glass of orange juice and pushed her plate over to 
her left slightly. Relena frowned slightly as she toyed with her own 
breakfast, crushing her bacon, eggs, and toast into a singular blob of 
mush. Dorothy squirmed in her chair before she broke the silence.

“Relena-sama, whatever the breakfast did I’m sure its sorry by now.” 
The fairer-haired girl declared in a serious tone, Relena looked at 
Dorothy with an eyebrow raised then suddenly giggled as she looked 
down at her plate.

“Oh, I’m sure it is. By the way what was it?” Relena inquired as she 
poked at the un-recognizable substance in front of her, Dorothy 
giggled slightly.

“Last time I checked it was bacon, eggs, and toast. But somehow I 
think its DNA combined to form whatever that lump of mush is on your 
plate.” Dorothy stated as she nodded seriously, Relena laughed 
whole-heartedly at the bad joke.

Suddenly a tall man dressed in a grey uniform interrupted the two 
girls slight amusements.

“Miss Darlian, your eight o’ clock is here. Do you wish to let them in 
or would you rather see them in your office?” Asked the officer as he 
saluted Relena, the sandy-haired blonde sighed slightly.

“Let them in.” She said as she pushed her plate away and sat up 
straight, Dorothy sighed and rolled her eyes as she heard a 
high-pitched voice speak from behind her.

“Good morning Miss Relena, how are you today?” Inquired an all too 
familiar voice, Relena forced a smile.

“I’m doing fine Quatre, how is everything going?” Relena began the 
small talk until the other Gundam pilots arrived; the blonde Arabian 
brushed back his bangs as he took a seat.

“Everything is well under the circumstances, I think we both can agree 
with that.” Quatre stated in an almost cheerful tone, Relena nodded 
slowly as three more figures walked into the room.

“Relena.” A heavily banged brunette said as he sat down, Relena smiled 
at Trowa and looked at the third boy who sat down with out saying a 
word. Heero only looked up at the blonde girl and bowed his head, 
Relena returned the gesture and looked for the last of the Gundam 
pilot who was coming.

“Hey Relena!” Duo shouted in a happy voice. “Hope I didn’t miss 
breakfast.” He stated as she looked at Dorothy’s untouched plate. 
“Bacon!” Exclaimed Duo as he snatched a strip off of Dorothy’s plate 
and shoved it into his mouth, the platinum blonde shot him a cold 
glance and pushed the plate closer to him.

“By all means help yourself Mr. Maxwell.” Dorothy declared as she 
gritted her teeth. Can’t they wait until after she is done with her 
breakfast? Just look at her she is getting so thin and sickly looking. 
And now they’re going to talk about the meaningless war! They’re so 
damn inconsiderate about her needs! Dorothy complained to herself as 
she balled her fist under the table.

“Thanks Dorothy!” Duo mumbled as he dug into the food, Hilde muttered 
a few curses under her breath as she watched the braided-haired boy 
rudely consume Dorothy’s breakfast for her. Relena cleared her throat 
and began to start the meeting.

“Umm, Miss Relena?” Quatre cut in before she had began, his eyes 
motioned over to Dorothy questionably; Relena frowned. Slowly Heero 
looked over to the fairer-haired blonde, his Prussian blue eyes 
cruelly cut deep into her as he spoke.

“To coexist with are enemies is one thing, but to befriend our enemies 
and let them sit amongst us is asking for our purpose to cease to 
exist.” Declared Heero as his monotone voice shattered Dorothy to the 
core, the fairer-haired blonde smirked at the remark despite the pain 
it caused her. Heero turned away and looked at Relena, the 
sandy-haired blonde nodded but before she could politely ask Dorothy 
to leave; the platinum blonde stood up and slammed her fist onto the 
table.

“Fine! I’ll leave you selfish cold-hearted bastards! I just hope all 
of you realize how pointless this damn war is! I hope all of you 
realize how pointless it is to abuse Relena-sama like you do, but none 
of you care about that do you?! Of course not, because the only thing 
you see is the flare of the battlefield, you don’t see how hard it is 
for Relena-sama to keep everything together! None of you see your 
slowly killing her! I hope all of you Gundam pilots rot in hell!” 
Dorothy screamed as loudly as she could then ran out of the dinning 
hall, the room was silent in utter shock as the blonde ran from the 
room. Slowly a piece of toast dropped out of Duo’s mouth.

“Maybe we should have let her stayed.” He said out-loud, everyone 
stared blankly at Duo. “What?” The braided-haired boy yipped out in 
defense.

Dorothy stumbled up the stairs as she ran, her long blonde hair 
whipped behind her violently as she sprinted down the hall and into 
her room.

He did that on purpose! Damn you Heero, you know I hate you that’s why 
you did that to me! You knew I would blow up, damn you! She screamed 
to herself as she fell onto her bed forcing herself not to cry, she 
couldn’t let herself cry not over that. Slowly Dorothy looked around 
her room, she knew what she must do; Dorothy knew the only way not to 
face Relena was to leave before she had a chance to talk to her about 
her sudden out burst. Quickly Dorothy stood and began to through 
clothes into a suitcase, her eyes burned slightly as she looked at a 
picture of Relena and herself; only when a drop of liquid splashed 
onto the frame did she realize she was crying.

“Weakling! Stupid lovesick weakling!” She yelled out-loud as she 
carefully placed the picture in the suitcase and dried her eyes, but 
the tears only flowed faster. After a few moments Dorothy was finished 
packing, her eyes stung as she pulled a piece of paper out of her desk 
and wrote a letter to Relena.

Dear Relena-sama: 

All I wish to tell you with this letter is that I love you and I will 
always love you, it pains me so much to watch you get hurt over Mr. 
Yuy and the time has come for me to leave. There is no point in 
staying, you love him and I am the enemy in every ones eyes; even 
yours. So I am leaving, I apologize for my rude outburst at the 
breakfast table, I just couldn’t stand him telling you that I would 
hurt you, that I would jeopardize your mission to achieve peace. All 
I’ve ever wanted is to see your dream of absolute pacifism come true. 

With love, 

Dorothy Catalonia

The letter was slightly wrinkled and smudged from the platinum 
blonde’s tears, carefully Dorothy placed the letter on her desk in 
plain view as she turned and grabbed her suitcase. Quietly, Dorothy 
ran down the steppes and through the hallways; slowly making her way 
to the back of the house where her yellow Cadillac was. In seconds 
Dorothy had pulled out of the Darlian estate and raced down the road 
at high speeds, never looking back.

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