I Want to Know What Love Is
Cold as ice... that's what they called her... but people would be
surprised to learn just how warm she really was. General Celes Chere,
perhaps the youngest General in all the Imperial Army (if not the only
woman), was a visual feast and a mental complexity. Nobody really knew
much about her past, not that she would tell anybody anyway, and not
too many people knew what kind of motivations she had. Most citizens
and soldiers just went by what they heard, and unfortunately, nearly
all of the rumors were false.
But Celes <did> show compassion towards others; she was not a block of
ice. Celes would often take trips into town and see what she could do
to help out--anything to erase the memories of what she had done
before. Her sins were enormous, even if they were in a time of war, and
though she felt unworthy of redemption, the least she could do was to
make others feel better.
---
But there was one individual in the empire that puzzled even Celes.
This one person, who was about the same age as the General, was quite
possibly the most peculiar individual to ever walk the streets of the
Imperial city. Rumors spread around that she was a witch, some kind of
freak of nature, and that Gestahl would be using her as a biological
weapon against all that stood in his way. She had a name, though, and
even though few people in the upper ranks used it, she was called Terra
Branford. It was a nice name, though it didn't roll off the tongue like
Celes'.
Up until recent times, Celes had not known Terra personally. She had
seen the young woman milling around before, usually accompanied by a
convoy of guards. Celes estimated that the girl was strong, but not
even she herself was considered that much of a danger, and she was a
mage knight. If this young woman needed an entourage of guards
everywhere she went, then what kind of powers could she possess...?
<Were the rumors true?> Celes had to wonder. <Does this girl have magic
powers?> Determined to find out the answer to these questions, Celes
organized a meeting between herself and the girl. She was a powerful
figure in the Empire, so her needs would most definitely be met.
---
Celes was reclining on her bed, lazily reading a book she had, when
there came a knock on her door.
"Enter," she said, expecting the visitor to be Terra. It was the girl
indeed, who was still accompanied by her guards. They all shuffled into
the room, and quietly stood guard at the door to make sure the young
lady didn't escape. Celes muttered something indistinguishable and
ordered the guards to leave.
"B... but General! We've been ordered to keep watch over her!"
"By whom?"
"Commander Red, ma'am!"
"I see..." Celes put her hands on her hips in annoyance, and glared at
the guards. "So you're saying that you'd follow the orders of a
Commander over the orders of a General?" The men suddenly paled,
stuttered, and saluted fearfully as they met her icy glare.
"N-no, ma'am! Of c-course n-not, ma'am! We'll leave!" The soldiers made
good on their promise, and stormed out of the room before they could be
punished for ignoring orders. Celes smiled inwardly, thanking her
exceptionally high rank, and turned around to address her guest. With
the guards now gone, Celes' mood lightened and she gave the other lady
a smile.
"So, ahh..."
"I'm sorry for being such a bother," said the girl suddenly. Celes
almost chuckled at the comment.
"It's no problem. There are just some really stupid people in this
city." This caused both of them to smile, and Celes found herself
liking the other girl's smile. There was something so refreshing and
beautiful about that little grin, though it was plain that a big chunk
of sadness was also behind it. Terra's eyes were especially dark: even
though she was smiling, Celes couldn't help but notice the grief behind
her blue eyes.
"Can I get you something to drink, or eat?" she asked. "It'd be
impolite to have you over and not offer you something." Terra nodded
her head.
"...I... haven't had much to eat in awhile," she said meekly. "Just
give me something small. And a glass of water. I'm very thirsty." Celes
nodded her head, the meaning of Terra's words unfortunately lost to
her. She went into her small kitchen, for people of high rank were well
taken care of, and came out with a tray full of plates. Most of them
were leftovers from an earlier feast, but a few items were fresh. Terra
hungrily dug into the plates like she had never eaten food before in
her life, and Celes couldn't help but stare.
"Jeez, Terra!" she exclaimed. "Don't they feed you anything?" The
green-haired girl had to pause before she could speak properly again.
"...Not really," she said. "Sometimes they can go for three days
without feeding me. They usually claim to have forgotten, or else they
say that food rations are low."
"Yeah, I'll bet," snorted Celes. Her face was dark with anger, but
understandably so. Even if all the rumors were true, and Terra <was> a
witch, she was still a living creature, and needed food and water just
like everyone else. Starving somebody like that had no acceptable
excuses, even during famine.
---
Terra finished her meal in record time, having eaten practically
everything Celes had to offer. The food was about two days old, and was
quite cold, but it seemed as if Terra would've eaten anything at that
point. Celes smiled as her guest finished off the leftover feast, and
went back to the kitchen to place the dishes in the sink. She later
came back to resume her visit with Terra, and hopefully, the two ladies
could form some kind of friendly relationship.
Celes started things out by sitting down on her soft velvety chair, and
gave Terra a calm and slightly emotionless gaze. The other girl was
sitting not too far away, so they could easily have a proper
conversation. A lot of questions were nagging at Celes' mind, and since
she had requested the rest of the day off, she was determined to dig up
a few answers.
"Now Terra," she began, "...may I call you Terra?" The girl nodded her
head, and Celes continued. "Well, as you know, I am General Celes
Chere, and though technically you should address me by my formal title,
I'll make one exception with you. Now Terra, I've noticed you around
before, and it always seems like you're accompanied by a small group of
guards. This may not be my business, but I'd like to know why that is."
A pause. Terra shifted in her seat, casting her eyes down to the floor.
"...They say I'm a witch," she said softly. "They say that I have magic
powers, and that I'm not like other girls. They say... they say that
I'm a... a... a freak of nature, and I can't be trusted by myself, so I
have to have guards."
"I see," said Celes. "But wouldn't you agree that, if by some means you
got out of control, those eight or so guards wouldn't stand a chance?"
Terra crossed her thin eyebrows in though, leaned back slightly, and
tilted her head. It was obvious that she had never thought of such a
question before.
"...I never thought of things that way," she muttered. "I suppose that
if I wanted to, I <could> free myself--but I don't want to hurt anybody!"
"I understand," said Celes. "But in all honesty, I don't think you need
those guards."
"It's the orders of the Emperor..." sighed Terra sadly. "There really
isn't anything you can do about it."
"I guess not." Celes' mouth made an almost-smile as she shrugged back
at her guest. The two ladies spent a little more time together in
silence, then Celes took a breath and began her friendly interrogation.
She had once thought Terra to be a very quiet young lady, but after
opening up the right topics, the green-haired girl easily became vocal
again, and would sometimes even become animated and livid. Terra showed
a small but powerful variety of emotions, mostly sadness, regret,
confusion, and the rare thing known as joy.
The girls continued to have their talk long into the afternoon. Celes
found Terra to be a very enjoyable conversationalist, and she was
starting to like the girl very much. Perhaps in the future, they could
become friends, but for the moment, Celes had to get a few facts
straight. Terra certainly wasn't an ordinary girl, hair color aside,
but other than her occasional depression and the rumors she admitted to
being true, there was not a whole lot else that separated her from
other females.
---
"...and he said that when he found them, they were already dead."
"That's terrible," whispered a genuine Celes. "It must be awful to
never know who your parents were. I don't know who gave birth to me
either--or even if I <was> born naturally. I'm sure that if I did have
parents, then they must either be dead or in hiding, because I've asked
about them before and I never got a straight answer."
"I suppose I'm lucky, then," said Terra with a wave of her hand. "At
least I know what happened to them. And I'm sorry about your
predicament."
"It's okay," said Celes with a smile. "It sucks, but I've gotten used
to it. I'm all grown up now, and I really never had much of a need for
a mother and father anyway. Just give me an order and a sword and I'll
be okay. But what about you? What do you need most in life?" Celes was
smiling, but Terra was far from happy. She had a very somber and
doubtful look to her face, even more so than usual. Slowly, she lowered
her eyes to the floor, and mumbled out her reply.
"......I, uh...... well, uh..."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I have not brought it up?" A pause.
"...I've just never talked about it before," admitted Terra. "Or,
should I say, nobody's ever asked me about it before."
"Well, if you don't want to talk about it..."
"It's all right," said Terra, shaking her head. "I just..." She paused
for awhile in search of the right words, and Celes' eyes were giving
her as much support as they could. It was clear that this was a very
tender topic with the young Terra, and if she wasn't willing to talk,
then Celes was not one to push her in that direction. But she was
willing, and told the other woman her deepest and darkest wish.
"......I want somebody who can love me for who I am," she said, her
blue eyes boring right into Celes'. "And I want somebody to love back
as well."
"Oh, I see," sang Celes with a smile. "So you want a nice boyfriend,
eh?"
".........I suppose," muttered Terra in reply. "...I... I don't even
know what love is. I have never before experienced it in my life,
ever!"
"You're kidding!" hissed Celes, who had long ago banished her smile.
The mere thought of somebody as gentle and caring as this woman never
experiencing love in her life was enough to push Celes' mind off the
deep end. What a horrible concept! To go through your entire life
without ever knowing that somebody cares for you, or if somebody will
be there for you... Absolutely horrible! Even Celes, a battle-hardened
MagiTek knight, had experienced a little love in her life! But <none?>
"I wish I were," sighed Terra sadly, and she hung her head again. "But,
it's true. I've never had anybody close to me, and my parents have been
dead for years. They treat me horribly in this city, and I'm looked
down at as nothing more than a freak and a witch." Celes swallowed
fearfully as Terra made her confession, and in an act that defied the
rumors spread about her own self, Celes reached out and touched Terra's
folded hands.
"That's horrible," she whispered. "Surely there was someone--"
"No, there was not." A pause. Celes swallowed again, and slowly slid
out of her chair. The General with a reputation to be chilling and cold
crawled forward on her knees, and reached out to envelop the other
woman in an embrace of care and compassion. Such a warm action would
befuddle many gossipers and would make the tough General seem soft, but
since this was a private meeting, there were no worries at all.
To Celes' faint surprise, Terra returned the hug almost immediately.
The blonde General had expected her guest to be apprehensive at first,
but that showed how little Celes knew about other people. She <would>
learn to expect surprises later on, but for now, it was she herself who
was surprised--but only for a moment. When Terra folded her arms around
Celes as well, the General smiled.
"...I can be somebody that loves you," she offered. Celes knew full
well that Terra was not indicating any kind of romantic love. The love
she meant was the complex feeling that one human has for another, and
not the type reserved for a man and woman. This kind of love could be
shared by all, and though Celes had no more real experience in love
than Terra, the least she could do was try.
A pause.
"Really?" whispered Terra. Celes felt the girl's tears fall on her bare
shoulders, and released her so their eyes could meet yet again. Celes
smiled and nodded her head, but in reality she was completely genuine.
She really was starting to like Terra as a friend, and in time, she
would definitely love the other young lady. Terra smiled as Celes
promised to love her, and wiped a tear away as she gave the General
another hug.
"Thank you, General Chere."
"Celes, please."
"Celes..." Terra smiled, and apparently by instinct, kissed the cheek
of her host. Celes was considerably more awkward at this new action,
but tried not to show it in her smile. The two girls did eventually
separate, but it seemed as if their conversation was over for the time
being. Celes told Terra that their time was up, and like a little puppy
that had just found a loving new master, the green-haired girl was
adamant about leaving. Celes insisted that unless Terra wanted to spend
the night, she would have to leave.
So Terra borrowed one of Celes' nightgowns.
---
When she woke up early in the morning, Terra Branford found herself
laying in the first comfortable bed she had ever slept in. She let out
a dreamy sigh as she snuggled up in the covers, and faintly wondered
where her host and new friend was. Her question was answered twenty
seconds later, when Celes came into the room with another tray of food,
this one bearing breakfast. The General gave her friend a smile as she
came into the room, and set the tray down on a desk.
"Good morning," she greeted. "I assume you slept well?" Terra made a
groaning sound as she stretched, and for the first time in years,
smiled out of complete contentment.
"I feel like I could sleep <forever,>" she grunted. Celes smiled, and
served her new friend breakfast in bed. Terra treated this tray of food
with much more deliberation than the last, and ate at her breakfast
like a lady and not a piranha. All the while she ate, the two girls
shared a peaceful conversation with each other (Celes claimed to have
already eaten).
Terra told Celes what little she knew of her own life, and the General
couldn't help but have her icy heart melt as she heard the depressing
tale. Terra was being treated worse than a rat by the Imperials: she
was rarely fed, she had been forced to sleep on a cot with neither
blanket nor pillow, and only had a small assortment of clothes to wear,
some of them in shabby condition. Terra was mocked and insulted by not
only the citizens of Vector, but also by the soldiers and even a few
high-ranking officers.
Very few people treated Terra with any respect at all, and Celes was
one of them. There were plenty of young soldiers in the barracks who
secretly admired her, though, and a few of them had even sent her
flowers and letters expressing their feelings. Terra had kept them all,
even though the flowers had wilted by now, but unfortunately she was
forbidden to interact with the young men. Celes had to thank her high
position yet again as she heard Terra's story. Few people could really
be this close to Terra and "get away with it".
Compared to Terra's life, Celes led a queen' existence. Sure, she was
expected to kill on her master's whim, and had been infused with
Esper's blood at a very young age, but with the exception of sacking
and burning the occasional town, Celes had a very privileged life.
---
The two girls spent the rest of the day together. After showering
(which was perhaps the only real luxury Terra enjoyed), the girls
decided to make the most of their day and went out shopping. Celes
badly needed to restock her icebox, and it looked as if Terra could use
some new clothes. The General had enough money for both of them to get
what they needed, and of course, plenty of things that they didn't!
The people of Vector didn't know how to handle the sight of the two
ladies walking through town. Should they smile and salute in Celes'
presence, or scorn and hiss at Terra's? Some people did both; others
ignored them completely, and only a few nice people treated both ladies
with respect. Celes did not have to drive any of <these> people away.
The girls spent a normal two hours looking for clothes and food, and
several other items to add on as well. Celes quickly found Terra to be
a wonderful shopping companion, as well as an intelligent
conversationalist and an all-around gentle girl. The "freak" rumors
were viciously false--if anything, Terra was a saint--and Celes became
determined to dispel these nasty accusations before they festered
further.
Terra was growing fond of Celes as they spent more and more time
together. She eventually gained the right to reside in Celes' small
quarters indefinitely, and soon lost the ensemble of guards as Celes
took full responsibility for her friend's actions. She had been serious
when she dedicated herself to loving Terra, and wanted to demonstrate
to the shy, quiet, gentle girl that she could be taken at her word.
---
And so, time passed, and the two girls grew close. Terra would soon
grow to hate leaving Celes' house by herself, even if she was legally
entitled to live there. On the other hand, Celes would regret leaving
Terra there all alone, but when duty called, there was no ignoring it,
and Celes' line always seemed to be busy. Fortunately, Terra did not
have to live in fear and misery as she had before, and there was always
some chore to do in Celes' house that would occupy her time. Besides,
what better way to show her gratitude towards her friend than to let
her come home to a clean house?!
One day, one very average and usual day, Celes returned from a short
mission in Tzen, the purpose of which was to pacify a few unruly
citizens and calm the area down. Celes had claimed that the Empire
<could> be compassionate from time to time, though it always kept a
businesslike face on; Terra retorted by stating that Celes sounded like
nothing more than a police officer.
In any case, Celes returned home, to find Terra in her usual good mood.
Since allowing the green-haired girl to be her roommate, Celes found it
a joy to not only return to a clean house, but to also return to a
happy friend. Terra had experienced too much grief already, so she was
long overdue for some joy.
---
"Hey, hon!" greeted Celes in her usual fashion. Terra smiled back, and
stood up to give her friend a hug.
"I love you," she whispered, her voice having just a faint hint of
loveable uncertainty in it. Celes chuckled and hugged Terra back.
"I know you do, dear. I love you too."
"You don't understand," said Terra, her voice slightly muffled by
Celes' mantle. Her blue eyes met her friend's, and Terra repeated
herself, only this time she emphasized every word. "...<I love you.>" A
pause. Celes took some time to absorb what her friend had said, and
slowly began to understand her words.
"...Terra... I, uh... umm... I, ah, I'm not that kind of girl..."
"Huh?" said a confused Terra, and she twisted her face to emphasize
puzzlement. "What do you mean?"
"...Terra..." Celes took a deep breath, gazed into her friend's face,
and slowly began stroking her hair. "...I love you a lot, Terra...
but... I can't love you in a romantic way. It's not how I work."
"Oh!" gasped a surprised Terra. "Oh, that! No, I didn't mean that at
all! I meant... listen to my words!" And for good measure, she repeated
herself yet again. "<I love you!>"
"...Uhh..." Celes paused and swallowed again, and slowly, the <real>
meaning of Terra's words came to her. She <loved> her--or, to be more
precise, she <loved.> She had actually declared love for somebody! And
yes, it might've been just slightly awkward to hear it being said from
another woman, but the point was that Terra finally knew what real love
was, and could not only experience it, but she could express it as
well. Celes smiled as she realized what her friend had said, and gave
her another hug.
"That's so wonderful!"
"It is, isn't it?" sighed Terra, rubbing her nose against Celes'
shoulder. The General laughed gently and gazed down at her timid
friend.
"Are you <sure> you're not <in> love with me?"
"No," came a surprisingly-serious admittance. "I... I'm still new at
all this, so I don't really know how I feel. I know that I care about
you a great deal, and that I want to see you happy and safe, and that I
love being around you. Isn't that all I need to know?" Celes smiled at
her friend's simple wisdom, and carefully began stroking her green hair
as Terra rested her head on her shoulder. Despite her outer shell of
naïveté, Terra was in fact very wise about a lot of things, and in
time, one of those might've been love.
"Yeah, you're right," said the icy General. "I guess that's all you
needed to know. And you know, a lot of guys in the barracks have, erm,
'that' kind of relationship, and though it may sully my reputation as a
General, I guess that if we ever, <ever> go in that direction, and I'm
not suggesting we should, then I can just screw they that screw me."
Both girls shared a smile and a polite chuckle, and held each other for
a little while longer before resuming their business.
Indeed, no matter what direction their relationship took, the important
thing was that they now both knew what it meant to love someone, and to
be loved in return. They knew what love was; everything else would just
have to reveal itself in time.
*The End*
Closing comments: This is nowhere near the level of "Waltz of Lovers",
"No Woman is an Island", and the first chapter of "Meeting at Tenzan
Pass", which are the only real efforts I made to do yuris. Like I said,
I wanted to make this as harmless as possible, because I don't usually
write those kinds of same-sex relationships unless it goes with the
character, it's tasteful, or if it's humorous. I just never saw this
pairing done before, and I guess it ended up better than I expected,
since their fate is now open-ended. Oh, and for a game perspective,
this all happens before Kefka puts the Slave Crown on Terra. I don't
know how I can explain away Celes' approach to Terra when they first
meet, except to say that this might be a slightly altered universe.
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